Tucson Weekly, March 18, 2021

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The The Foilies Foilies 2021 2021 To Celebrate Sunshine Week, We’re Recognizing the Year’s Worst in Government Transparency

CURRENTS: RIP, Bob Walkup ARTS: TMA Gives Lifetime Achievement Award CHOW: Cook Like Rocco!

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MARCH 18, 2021

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STAFF

CONTENTS

CURRENTS

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Former Tucson Mayor Bob Walkup dies at 84

FEATURE

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Recognizing the year’s worst in government transparency

CURRENTS

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University of Arizona researchers propose building a ‘lunar ark’ for global survival

CHOW

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An American take on a standard Italian recipe just got a little better with help from Tucson’s favorite Chicagoan chef and a batch of Meyer lemons

ADMINISTRATION Jason Joseph, President/Publisher jjoseph@azlocalmedia.com

EDITOR’S NOTE

Jaime Hood, General Manager, Ext. 12 jaime@tucsonlocalmedia.com Casey Anderson, Ad Director/ Associate Publisher, Ext. 22 casey@tucsonlocalmedia.com

Walking on Sunshine

PUBLIC RECORDS AREN’T MUCH good if the public can’t see them, which happens way too often in government agencies large and small. Every year, the media celebrates Sunshine Week by reminding readers about the importance of government doing its work in the open. As we have done before in recent years, we bring you The Foilies, an award ceremony for the worst responses for requests for information that has been curated by our friends at the Electronic Frontier Foundation.

We hope you both enjoy the awards and are outraged by some of the decisions made by government employees.

On a sadder note: Bob Walkup, the Republican who served as mayor from 1999 to 2011, died last week from lung disease. Walkup was an unflagging optimistic about Tucson and I came to have great respect for him and his efforts to make Tucson a better place during his time in office. We remember his legacy on Page 6.

Elsewhere in the issue: Staff reporter Christina Duran updates you on good news about COVID (more people are getting vaccinated) and bad news about COVID (variant strains are spreading in the state); Duran also looks into what’s happening with Casa Alitas, the waystation for migrants seeking refugee status,

Claudine Sowards, Accounting, Ext. 13 claudine@tucsonlocalmedia.com

as the Biden administration relaxes the border blockage established by the Trump administration; The Skinny looks at some of the possible candidates who might want to run for Congress now that U.S. Rep. Ann Kirkpatrick is calling it quits after this term; associate editor Jeff Gardner looks into a proposal by a UA scientists to store a bunch of genetic material from humans, animals and plants on the Moon so we have a secure backup for restarting life on Earth after we screw it all up; columnist Tom Danehy is outraged again by Republican lawmakers; managing editor Austin Counts learns how to make chicken piccata from Anthony ‘Rocco’ DiGrazia of Rocco’s Little Chicago; University of Arizona intern Madison Beal celebrates a big award for the owners of Medicine Man Gallery; Tucson Weedly columnist David Abbott looks at efforts to legalize cannabis for medical use to treat autism; and there’s lots more throughout the book for you to enjoy, so start turning the pages, already!

Jim Nintzel Executive Editor Hear Nintz talk about all things Tucson Weekly at 9:30 a.m. Wednesdays during The Frank Show on 96.1 FM, KLPX.

RANDOM SHOTS By Rand Carlson

Sheryl Kocher, Receptionist, Ext. 10 sheryl@tucsonlocalmedia.com EDITORIAL Jim Nintzel, Executive Editor, Ext. 38 jimn@tucsonlocalmedia.com Austin Counts, Managing Editor, Ext. 36 austin@tucsonlocalmedia.com Jeff Gardner, Associate Editor, Ext. 43 jeff@tucsonlocalmedia.com Mike Truelsen, Web Editor, Ext. 35 mike@tucsonlocalmedia.com Christina Duran, Staff Reporter, Ext. 42 christina@tucsonlocalmedia.com Contributors: Rob Brezsny, Max Cannon, Rand Carlson, Tom Danehy, Emily Dieckman, Bob Grimm, Andy Mosier, Linda Ray, Margaret Regan, Will Shortz, Jen Sorensen, Clay Jones, Dan Savage PRODUCTION David Abbott, Production Manager, Ext. 18 david@tucsonlocalmedia.com Ryan Dyson, Graphic Designer, Ext. 26 ryand@tucsonlocalmedia.com Emily Filener, Graphic Designer, Ext. 29 emilyf@tucsonlocalmedia.com CIRCULATION Alex Carrasco, Circulation, Ext. 17, alexc@tucsonlocalmedia.com ADVERTISING Kristin Chester, Account Executive, Ext. 25 kristin@tucsonlocalmedia.com Candace Murray, Account Executive, Ext. 24 candace@tucsonlocalmedia.com Lisa Hopper, Account Executive Ext. 39 lisa@tucsonlocalmedia.com Tyler Vondrak, Account Executive, Ext. 27 tyler@tucsonlocalmedia.com NATIONAL ADVERTISING VMG Advertising, (888) 278-9866 or (212) 475-2529 Tucson Weekly® is published every Thursday by 13 Street Media at 7225 N. Mona Lisa Rd., Ste. 125, Tucson, Arizona. Address all editorial, business and production correspondence to: Tucson Weekly, 7225 N. Mona Lisa Rd., Ste. 125, Tucson, Arizona 85741. Phone: (520) 797-4384, FAX (520) 575-8891. First Class subscriptions, mailed in an envelope, cost $112 yearly/53 issues. Sorry, no refunds on subscriptions.

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TUCSON WEEDLY

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Advocacy group seeks to add autism to list of qualifying conditions for medical marijuana card

Cover graphic courtesy Caitlyn Crites

Copyright: The entire contents of Tucson Weekly are Copyright © 2019 by Thirteenth Street Media.

No portion may be reproduced in whole or part by any means without the express written permission of the Publisher, Tucson Weekly, 7225 N. Mona Lisa Rd., Ste. 125, Tucson, AZ 85741.

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MARCH 18, 2021

CURRENTS

UPS AND DOWNS

COVID cases decline but variant strains detected in Arizona

By Christina Duran christina@tucsonlocalmedia.com

HEALTH AUTHORITIES CONFIRMED last week that two COVID-19 variant strains are circulating in Arizona.

Four cases of the COVID-19 UK variant have been found in Pima County, said Pima County Health Department Director Dr. Theresa Cullen during a briefing last week.

Pima County Health Department has been tracking genomic sequencing of positive COVID-19 PCR tests (aka the nasal swab test). They send a random sample of those positive PCR tests to the Translational Genomics Research Institute (TGen) in Flagstaff for sequencing, Cullen said.

This process takes about three to four weeks from the collection and procession of the sample to getting a positive result and then sending it to a lab like TGen, where the genetic sequencing takes place.

In other words, the variant has been in Pima County for at least three to four weeks since the sample was collected, Cullen said.

According to the CDC, this variant, first detected in the U.S. in late December 2020, spreads more easily and quickly than other variants. Some experts in the U.K. reported the variant may be associated with an increased risk in death, but this finding has not been confirmed. Press reports also indicate that children may be more susceptible to the U.K. variant.

“It’s not to make the community frightened, but it is to remind the community that COVID-19 is a deadly disease,” said Cullen. “It has significant morbidity and mortality and the way we protect ourselves right now is to do the three W’s, to abide by the recommendations that we’ve given.”

Meanwhile, the Arizona Department of Health Services reported Friday that the Brazilian COVID-19 variant has been circulating in Yuma County.

At least three positive cases of the Brazilian P1 COVID variant were spotted through genetic testing of samples.

CASES ON THE DECLINE The news of the variant strains comes as Arizona has seen eight straight weeks of decline in COVID cases through the week ending March 7, which saw 5,721 new

confirmed COVID cases.

That was a 17% drop from the previous week, according to Dr. Joe Gerald, an epidemiologist and associate professor in the UA Zuckerman College of Public Health.

Gerald, who has been tracking the spread of the virus with weekly reports for a year, said the state had moved from high risk to substantial risk and hospital capacity was low enough to meet the state’s needs. New cases had fallen to 79 per 100,000 residents and PCR testing had dropped to 9%, putting it in the 5% to 10% zone for “optimal public health practice,” according to Gerald.

Gerald said those with high risk for COVID complications, such as the elderly or those with preexisting conditions, should continue to stay home as much as possible until they are fully vaccinated.

Everyone else should continue wearing masks, washing their hands and keeping six feet of distance from people outside their household.

However, some doctors are still urging more caution. Phoenix endocrinologist Dr. Ricardo Correa, Tucson family medicine specialist Dr. Cadey Harrel and Glendale obstetrician/gynecologist Dr. Dionne Mills spoke out against loosening restrictions in Arizona at a press conference last week.

“For the past year, too many people have struggled, sacrificed and died to get at this point in the pandemic,” said Correa. “We are close to eradicating COVID-19, but if you don’t make the final effort, we are close to being back to where we were last year.”

Back-to-back executive orders on March 3 and March 5 by Gov. Doug Ducey, moved Arizona closer to reopening. The first mandated schools reopen by March 15 or after Spring Break. The second removed capacity limits on businesses and allowed spring training baseball and other professional and collegiate sports to operate after the approval of a safety and public health plan.

On March 3, on a party-line vote, Republican lawmakers passed HB 2770, which would allow businesses to ignore mask mandates from the state, a city, town or county or any other jurisdiction. The bill has now passed to the Senate for consideration.

Faced with these developments, Harrel urges Gov. Ducey and Arizona

legislators to “do the right thing and to listen to the science.”

Harrel, the CEO of Agave Community Health and Wellness, said that loosening restrictions should not occur until we have achieved herd immunity, or community immunity, which epidemiologists and health experts say occurs when 70-90% of the population is vaccinated and enough people have immunity to stop the spread of the COVID-19 within the general public.

UA EXPECTS TO EXPAND CLASS OFFERINGS IN TWO WEEKS The University of Arizona will move to Stage 3 during the week of March 29, allowing in-person classes and flex in-person classes of up to 100 students, UA President Robert C. Robbins announced Monday, March 15.

On Feb. 22, the university moved to Stage 2, offering in-person learning to courses with 50 or fewer students. They will continue in Stage 2 for the next two weeks.

On campus the rate of positivity remains low, with fewer than .2% of the more than 13,000 tests in the past 10 days.

In Pima County on the week of Feb. 21, the rate of positivity dropped to 5.3%, nearing the goal of 5% for a classification of minimal transmission. For the same week, the county had 78 cases of COVID per

SORENSEN

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100,000 residents, while 3% of reported hospital visits were for COVID-like illnesses.

HOW TO GET A VACCINE A total of 226,020 Pima County residents have received at least one vaccine shot and 154,913 residents are fully vaccinated, according to the Arizona Department of Health Services.

Between the state POD, the county PODs and private pharmacies, the county is now receiving between 40,000 and 50,000 doses a week, according to Pima County spokesman Mark Evans To find out if you are eligible for a vaccine and to set up an appointment at a state point of distribution or a private pharmacy, visit podvaccine.azdhs.gov or call 1-844-542-8201.

While supplies remain limited, Pima County is providing vaccination appointments to people 55 and older as well as frontline workers, educators, first responders and healthcare workers. ■ Those who qualify in Pima County’s priority group of eligible vaccine recipients can register for a vaccine at www.pima.gov/ covid19vaccineregistration or by calling 520-222-0119.

—with additional reporting from Jim Nintzel

MARCH 18, 2021

CURRENTS

CROWDED HOUSE

Casa Alitas faces increased pressure as more migrants seek refugee status

By Christina Duran christina@tucsonlocalmedia.com

CASA ALITAS, THE TEMPORARY shelter run by Catholic Community Services at the Pima County juvenile detention center, faces an increase in people without the capacity and the funds to shelter them.

In a memo to the Pima County Board of Supervisors on Feb. 16, County Administrator Chuck Huckelberry said the U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP), through Border Patrol, advised officials that the number of asylum seekers could triple the amount processed during 2018 and 2019.

While CBP is unable to distinguish how many are asylum seekers, in February CBP encountered 100,441 individuals, of which 19,246 were in family units and 9,457 were unaccompanied minors, said Acting Commissioner for CBP Troy Miller in a briefing on March 10.

This is an increase of 24% from 2019 and an 164% increase in family units encountered from January to February of this year, said Miller.

Miller attributes the increase to economic instability in the region, rising COVID cases in South and Central America, as well as the hurricanes, continued violence and unemployment. A CBP official also sharply criticized the previous administration.

“It’s also important to note that our immigration system was decimated over the last four years, our refugee and asylum systems were brought to a screeching halt and legal avenues for migrating were cut drastically,” the official said on background. “So

we’re starting from square one here to build an orderly immigration system that treats people humanely and in a way that protects public health.”

With the new Biden administration came the end of the “Remain in Mexico” policy, or Migrant Protection Protocols, which forced asylum seekers to wait in Mexico while awaiting immigration court hearings. Yuma and San Diego have already started to see the effects as CBP began to process those individuals.

As of March 10, CBP processed 1,000 of 26,000 MPP eligible migrants through the San Ysidro, Brownsville, and El Paso del Norte ports of entry.

While Casa Alitas cannot confirm the number of asylum seekers currently sheltered at their facility for their protection, Casa Alitas program manager Diego Piña Lopez said the organization was helped around 18,000 people in 2019.

Casa Alitas has 68 rooms, which would mean about 120 people could be sheltered, depending on whether it is a family of two versus a family of three, as families are kept together, according to Piña.

But due to the pandemic, Casa Alitas—like many other shelters—had to decrease capacity to maintain the health and safety of those sheltered there.

The shelter’s capacity has been cut in half, to only 60 individuals, said Huckelberry in his Feb. 16 memo.

Back in 2019, when Casa Alitas was located at the Benedictine Monastery, Ward 6 Councilmember Steve Kozachik said they sometimes had north of 300 people.

“Those days are long gone,” said Kozachik.

With the onset of the pandemic, CBP and organizations like Casa Alitas have continued to work with public health officials to maintain the health and safety of individuals as well as the public.

Miller said migrants are required to go through a staging and COVID-19 testing process before entry, and without going through the process they are not admitted.

Once tested and dropped off at Casa Alitas, Piña said they are tested again. In order to provide a safer environment, Casa Alitas has created two wings to separate those that tested positive for COVID-19.

Piña said those currently sheltered at Casa Alitas have “concern for their safety, their family’s safety for COVID, but there’s also that sense of relief,” The network of nonprofits and churches has also faced a shortage of volunteers due to the pandemic, as the majority of the volunteers were seniors, but with more people getting vaccinated, volunteers have started to return, said Piña.

While Huckelberry states Casa Alitas is prepared to provide COVID-19 rapid tests and transition and transfer those seeking asylum, they are ill-prepared to provide additional emergency housing without the proper funds and have requested an advance grant from the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA). The funds from FEMA could be used to buy additional hotel space needed to house the increase of migrants, said Kozachik.

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“Three years ago, it was never even conceived of us getting funding from the federal government,” said Piña.

“I think it’s there. The precedent says now there that we have the opportunity, but it’s recognizing that this has to be a level of ongoing funding to support the shelters to do this work.”

Piña said the community’s help makes programs such as Casa Alitas possible.

“We’ve been really fortunate that the community has stepped up and donated to let us exist and do the work for so long, and trust us so much and volunteer their time,” said Piña.

“We need our community to support us, because that’s what makes us better.”

Kozachik remembers seven years back, the days when Border Patrol would drop people off at the downtown Greyhound bus station.

“What we have is a situation where the Border Patrol is simply threatening to drop human beings off in our parks, at the bus station or out at the Alitas center and drive away,” said Kozachik. “We don’t know at that point whether they’re COVID positive or negative.”

COVID-19 aside, it’s important to remember who these people are, said Kozachik.

“In Honduras, one out of two women is raped in their lifetime,” Kozachik said. “These are the stories we’re being presented when their families show up. Young boys who have had their arms cut off if they don’t join gangs.” ■

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MARCH 18, 2021

CURRENTS

GOODBYE, BOB Former Mayor Bob Walkup dies at 84

By Jim Nintzel jimn@tucsonlocalmedia.com

FORMER TUCSON MAYOR BOB Walkup died from lung disease on Friday, March 12. He was 84.

The retired Hughes/Raytheon executive beat the odds to win three terms as a Republican in Democrat-dominated Tucson. A technocrat, Walkup worked to structurally stabilize the city’s budget but set the stage for downtown revitalization, although much of the development happened after he left office.

Walkup loved the role of mayor, whether it was dressing in a three-piece suit for a State of the City address or wearing an turn-of-the-century get-up complete with a top hat for celebrations at the historic downtown train station.

“The joy of the job,” he once said, “is being with people.”

Walkup’s perpetual optimism sometimes drew jeers from his critics, but he was always able to deliver lines like “Tucson is the greatest city in the United States” with perfect sincerity.

Tucson Mayor Regina Romero, who served with Walkup after her 2007 election to the Tucson City Council, called Walkup “a born statesman” who “always strived to create the best Tucson possible.”

“His leadership on issues ranging from economic development, water security,

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and transportation positioned Tucson for a strong recovery out of the Great Recession,” Romero said. “He always had a vision to create a lively, bustling downtown for Tucsonans to eat, work, live, and play.

His advocacy in helping secure a TIGER grant to build the modern streetcar laid the groundwork for the thriving downtown we see today.”

Romero said she would “truly miss Bob for his kind demeanor, his friendship and advice, and his everlasting vision to create the best Tucson possible.”

Ward 6 Councilman Steve Kozachik, who served with Walkup from 2009 to 2011, said Walkup was “a throwback to the days when we could actually sit together, talk about serious policy issues and look for common ground solutions that involved compromise from each side. It wasn’t a time of such divided hyper-partisanship. We could actually dialogue. He brought that character trait to the table because at the end of the day, Bob truly cared about the entire community. And at the end of the day, Bob Walkup was simply a good and honest person. I enjoyed working with him, and will forever value our friendship.”

Steve Farley, who served as a Democrat in the Arizona Legislature, clashed with Walkup over two city transportation plans that were both rejected by voters, but he worked with Walkup on the Regional Transportation Authority transportation

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plan that was approved by voters in 2006.

“People often thought of Bob as the mayor from central casting, but I always thought of him as one of the kindest people I’ve ever met,” Farley said. “I hope that someday, our politics can return to a place where kindness rules again—where we can genuinely respect even our rivals and work together for the good of the community.

That was the way Bob Walkup operated, all the time. There were no problems for him, just solutions waiting to be figured out.”

Under Walkup’s leadership, the city made major budget changes, including the introduction of a trash-collection fee, the creation of impact fees for development and a transfer of the library system to Pima County. While he had opposed some of those proposals on the campaign trail, he once said he was willing to change his mind if presented with the right argument.

“I think it’s bad political leadership to say, ‘Look, this was my position without the information, so therefore it’s my position today, even though I believe it’s the wrong thing to do,’” Walkup said when seeking reelection in 2003.

Though he was an underdog in his first race against Democrat Molly McKasson, Walkup brought over enough moderate Democrats and independents to win the office. Four years later, he brought together the same coalition to defeat former mayor Tom Volgy. In his third and final run for office, the Democrats didn’t field a candidate against him.

Over his tenure, Walkup led the city through the 2001 terrorist attacks on New York and Washington, D.C., the Great Recession that started in 2008 and the 2011 mass shooting at Gabby Giffords’ Congress on Your Corner with grace and calm.

He met his second wife, Beth, at a

fundraiser for Tucson Children’s Museum.

Both were big supporters of the downtown playhouse for children as well as many other arts groups and nonprofit organizations.

His son Jonathan said on Facebook he would “cherish the memories of an amazing childhood. He was everything a dad could be and more. I was/am so proud of him—he was truly an inspiration and my hero. I will miss him greatly, but am so happy he is now able to reconnect and dance with Julia, my little sister and his beloved youngest daughter.”

An Army veteran, Walkup had a career for more than three decades in the aerospace industry, beginning as an engineer and finishing as an executive with the Hughes Aircraft Company (now Raytheon). He was a tinkerer throughout his life and delighted especially in working on cars. ■

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MARCH 18, 2021

DANEHY

SUPPRESSING THE VOTE AND OPPOSING COVID RELIEF: JUST ANOTHER WEEK FOR THE REPUBLICAN PARTY

By Tom Danehy, tucsonweekly@tucsonlocalmedia.com DON’T YOU JUST LOVE ALL LEVELS of government in action? Or is it government inaction?

• In Phoenix, Republicans are still churning out racist legislation at a furious pace.

What’s really funny is how they get theatrically offended when (appropriate) charges of racism are leveled at them. Every single piece of legislation that deals with “election reform” will have the effect of suppressing minority voting, even if it’s only in a secondary or tertiary fashion.

Their excuse for the assault on minority voting—that some of their minions don’t believe that the results of a free and fair election can possibly be true since their side lost for only the second time in 70 years—rings hollow. There will always be people who mistrust the process because the results don’t match their stilted view.

That’s no reason to take a chainsaw to things. As we all know (and even some Republicans will admit), theirs is a minority party, their numbers shrinking due to a shift in demographics and hastened along by the loony antics of GOP head Kelli Ward and her marching band of conspiracy nut-jobs. The only way they can stay in power—even in the short run—is to limit

CLAYTOONZ By Clay Jones

the number of those “other” people from voting.

The latest assault is SCR 1034, which would give the Legislature the ability to gut or toss out completely any voter-passed law that has even the slightest flaw. In an even more sinister turn, if a measure was passed by popular vote that raised money for a specific item (e.g. pay for public-school teachers), SCR 1034 would allow the Legislature to take that money and use it for something else. Like, say, helping to defray the cost of sending the kids of their rich, white friends to private school.

That means that if there’s a comma where there should have been a semicolon, it’s open season for legislative theft and/ or mayhem. Of course, it’s doubtful that Finchem and Mesnard, et al know a comma from a semicolon. They probably think it’s a part of the anatomy that isn’t talked about in polite company.

• On the national level, an unsurprising (but really stupid) 0% of all Republicans in Congress voted in favor of the COVID relief bill. It’s a massive piece of legislation that is supported by 75% of all Americans.

Seriously, these days, you couldn’t get 75% of Americans to agree on the National

Anthem. (Personally, I think that, as a song, it kinda sucks. Parts of it are racist. And Mariah Carey and maybe two other people in the country can actually sing it without sounding like someone is torturing a cat.

But that’s just me.)

And yet, while the legislation had overwhelming support from Democrats and Independents across the country, various polls showed that it was also favored by around 50% of all Republicans—an amazing number, considering that many are still walking around in a daze, their confusion exacerbated by a constant trumping in their ears that just won’t go away (even though he mostly has).

It’s pretty clear what the Republican strategy is. They’re going to wait for all the people to get their checks and their child tax credits…and for health care costs to come down…and for 250 million Americans to get vaccinated…and for the nation to reach herd immunity…and for the economy to roar like it hasn’t since the 1990s (or even the 1960s)…and for the mass of Americans to release all that pent-up emotion as they go completely buck wild later this summer!

And then the Republicans will go outside and start whispering, “Socialism.”

Yeah, that should work.

It’s so much fun watching the Phelgm-wads on Phox try to explain how their team got played by “Sleepy Joe” Biden.

• In other national news, South Carolina Senator Tim Scott recently degraded himself on national TV. Scott is an

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African-American and a Republican. Now, there’s nothing wrong with being a Black Republican, other than knowing that whole lot of people are going to be laughing at you behind your back (with most of the people who are doing the laughing being white Republicans). People with a sense of decency won’t do that. They’ll laugh directly in his face.

When asked if he ever thought that the Republican Party might have used him to display a “patina of diversity” within the GOP, Scott responded with a non-sequitur about how “woke supremacy is as bad as white supremacy.”

The actual definition of “woke” is someone who is aware the pervasive racial and gender discrimination in this country, as well as the deleterious effects of economic inequity. So, naturally, Republicans use it as a pejorative.

• Here locally, the battle rages between the militant Save The Ducks people and the entrenched We Have Tax Money to Spend on a Bigger Zoo cabal. Tucson Mayor Regina Romero has called for a cooling-off period and (an expensive) moratorium on any further building at the zoo.

To be perfectly honest, I’ve been to that zoo exactly once (which is probably one more time than most Tucsonans). One summer day, I took my kids when they were little. They asked why the animals smelled so bad. I said, “It’s probably because they’re French.” And then we left.

Hey, you can’t say that I didn’t earn those Father of the Year awards. ■

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MARCH 18, 2021

Recognizing the Year’s Worst in Government Transparency Compiled by the Electronic Frontier Foundation and MuckRock News Illustrations by Caitlyn Crites

THE DAY AFTER THE 2021 inauguration Sen. Chris Murphy of Connecticut took to Twitter to declare: “Biden is making transparency cool again.”

This was a head-scratcher for many journalists and transparency advocates.

Freedom of Information—the concept that government documents belong to and must be accessible to the people—has never not been cool. Using federal and local public records laws, a single individual can uncover everything from war crimes to health code violations at the local taqueria.

How awesome is that? If you need more proof: there was an Australian comic book series called “Southern Squadron: Freedom of Information Act”; the classic anime Evangelion has a Freedom of Information Act cameo; and the Leeds-based post-punk band Mush received a 7.4 rating from Pitchfork for its latest album Lines Redacted.

OK, now that we’ve put that down in writing we realize that the line between “cool” and “nerdy” might be a little blurry.

But you know what definitely is not cool?

Denying the public’s right to know. In fact, it suuucks.

Since 2015, The Foilies have served as an annual opportunity to name-and-shame the uncoolest government agencies and officials who have stood in the way of public access. We collect the most outrageous and ridiculous stories from around the country

from journalists, activists, academics, and everyday folk who have filed public records and experienced retaliation, over-redactions, exorbitant fees, and other transparency malpractice. We publish this rogues gallery as a faux awards program during Sunshine Week (March 14-20, 2021), the annual celebration of open government organized by the News Leaders Association.

This year, the Electronic Frontier Foundation is publishing The Foilies in partnership with MuckRock News, a non-profit dedicated to building a community of cool kids that file Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) and local public records requests.

For previous year’s dubious winners (many of whom are repeat offenders) check out our archive at www.eff.org/issues/foilies.

And without further ado…

THE MOST SECRETIVE DOG’S BOLLOCKS: CONAN THE BELGIAN MALINOIS

BACK IN 2019, WHAT SHOULD’VE been a fluff story (or scruff story)

about Conan, the Delta Force K9 that was injured while assisting in the raid that took out an Islamic State leader, became yet another instance of the Trump administration tripping over itself with the facts. Was Conan a very good boy or a very good girl? Various White House and federal officials contradicted themselves, and the mystery remained.

Transparency advocate and journalist Freddy Martinez wouldn’t let the sleeping dog lie; he filed a FOIA request with the U.S. Special Operations Command, a.k.a. SOCOM. But rather than release the records, officials claimed they could “neither confirm nor deny the existence or nonexistence of records,” the much dreaded “Glomar response” usually reserved for sensitive national security secrets (the USNS Hughes Glomar Explorer was a secret CIA ship that the agency didn’t want to acknowledge existed). Never one to roll over, Martinez filed a lawsuit against SOCOM and the Defense Department in June 2020.

Just in time for Sunshine Week, Martinez got his records—a single page of a veterinary examination, almost completely redacted except for the dog’s name and the single letter “M” for gender. Conan’s breed and color were even blacked out, despite the fact that photos of the dog had already been tweeted by Trump.

THE PHARAOH PRIZE FOR DEADLINE EXTENSIONS: CHICAGO MAYOR LORI LIGHTFOOT, ILLINOIS WITH COVID-19 AFFECTING ALL levels of government operations, many transparency advocates and journalists were willing to accept some delays in responding to public records requests.

However, some government officials were quick to use the pandemic as an excuse to ignore transparency laws altogether. Taking the prize this year is Mayor Lori Lightfoot of Chicago, who invoked the Old Testament in an effort to lobby the Illinois Attorney General to suspend FOIA deadlines altogether.

“I want to ask the average Chicagoan: Would you like them to do their job or would you like them to be pulled off to do FOIA requests?”

Lightfoot said in April 2020, according to the Chicago Tribune, implying

that epidemiologists and physicians are also the same people processing public records (they’re not).

She continued: “I think for those people who are scared to death about this virus, who are worried every single day that it’s going to come to their doorstep, and I’m mindful of the fact that we’re in the Pesach season, the angel of death that we all talk about is the Passover story, that angel of death is right here in our midst every single day.”

We’d just note that transparency is crucial to ensuring that the government’s response to COVID is both effective and equitable.

And if ancient Egyptians had the power to FOIA the Pharaoh for communications with Moses and Aaron, perhaps they probably would have avoided all 10 plagues — blood, frogs, and all.

THE DOXXER PRIZE: FORENSIC EXAMINER COLIN FAGAN IN JULY 2020, SURVEILLANCE researcher and Princeton Ph.D. student Shreyas Gandlur sued the Chicago Police Department to get copies of an electronic guide on police technology regularly received via email by law enforcement officers around the country. The author of the guide, Colin Fagan, a retired cop from Oregon, did not agree that the public has a right to know how cops are being trained, and he decided to make it personal.

In a final message to his subscribers announcing he was discontinuing the “Law Enforcement Technology Investigations Resource Guide,” Fagan ranted about Gandlur for “attacking the best efforts of Federal, state, and local law enforcement to use effective legal processes to save innocent victims of horrible crimes and hold their perpetrators accountable.”

Fagan included a photo of Gandlur, his email addresses, and urged his readers to recruit crime victims to contact him “and let him know how he could better apply his talents”—one of the most blatant cases of retaliation we’ve seen in the history of the Foilies.

Fagan has since rebounded, turning his email newsletter into a “law enforcement restricted site.”

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THESKINNY

KIRKPATRICK CALLS IT QUITS Congresswoman Won’t Seek Another Term in 2022 Jim Nintzel jnintzel@tucsonweekly.com FRESH ON THE HEELS OF THE

signing of the $1.9 trillion COVID relief package, Arizona Rep. Ann Kirkpatrick announced last week she will not seek a sixth term in 2022.

The congresswoman represents Southern Arizona’s District 2, which includes midtown Tucson, eastern Pima County and Cochise County.

Kirkpatrick, 70, was first elected in CD2 in 2018. She previously represented districts in Northern Arizona between 2008 and 2016. (She lost in the 2010 Tea Party wave and came back two years later after redistricting created a different district.) She left Congress in 2016 to unsuccessfully challenge the late Sen. John McCain and then relocated to Pima County to run for Congress.

Kirkpatrick also took a leave of absence last year to seek recovery for alcohol addiction.

Kirkpatrick’s departure is sure to set off a scurry of potential candidates on both sides of the aisle but with redistricting on the horizon, the future boundaries of the district for the 2022 election cycle remain to be seen. Further clouding the water is the likely addition of a 10th congressional district, so who knows what the map will look like in Southern Arizona?

Nonetheless, open congressional seats don’t come along that often and it’s the great golden ring in local politics. Among the potential candidates: • Pima County Supervisor Matt Heinz, who has run several times for a congressional seat (including a race against Kirkpatrick in 2018). Heinz has just won a seat on the Pima County Board of Supervisors, knocking out

Ramon Valadez in the Democratic primary. If Heinz leaves the Board of Supervisors, maybe Ramon could get his old job back!

• Pima County Supervisor Steve Christy has long harbored ambitions for Congress. After the 2020 election, Christy is the only Republican left on the Board of Supes. Given his Trumpian approach to politics, he probably won’t be building too many bridges with his Democratic colleagues, so all he can do is lose a lot of 4-1 and grumpily complain. If the other option is a congressional run, why wouldn’t he jump ship? It’s not like he needs the job. And if Christy quits the Pima County Board of Supervisors, maybe Ray Carroll, the former District 4 supervisor who is now serving as a Green Valley justice of the peace, could get his old job back!

It’s like we’re getting the band back together.

• Physician and state lawmaker Randy Friese is close to the team that sent Gabby Giffords, Ron Barber and Mark Kelly to D.C., which would give him a big boost if he decided he was ready for the big time.

• Tucson Mayor Regina Romero isn’t going to challenge her patron, Congressman Raul Grijalva, and we hear Raul wants to see daughter Adelita (now doing double duty on the Pima County Board of Supervisors and the Tucson Unified School District Board) take the seat when he’s ready to step down. Now that Democrats are back in the majority, Grijalva has hopes that much of his agenda on issues such as protecting the Grand Canyon, stopping the Rosemont Mine and passing some major immigration reform can actually get passed.

But if the maps are drawn just right, Romero could have a path to victory

MARCH 18, 2021

in a Democratic primary in a different district than Raul’s Southern Arizona fiefdom. That said, the rumor that she is going to tapped for a deputy secretary spot in the Department of Housing and Urban Development got a lot more oxygen last week when Grijalva told radio host Bill Buckmaster that Romero was a top contender for the gig. That could be a great move for Romero, but quitting the mayor’s job to take a DC job and then quitting that to return home a year later seems pretty hinky.

• Republican Joseph Morgan, a Trump true believer who spent a lot

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of time in the wake of last November’s election delivering false prophecies of how Trump would defeat Biden through heretofore unknown laws granting him the power to seize a second term, came in third in the threeway GOP primary for CD2 in 2020, but still harbors congressional ambitions.

Morgan said on social media last week that he was superior to the other candidates considering a run in 2022, but he hadn’t made up his mind as to whether he’d run.

Let the games—and the fundraising—begin! ■

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MARCH 18, 2021

CURRENTS

MOON SHOT

UA researchers propose ‘Lunar Ark’ for global survival

By Jeff Gardner jeff@tucsonlocalmedia.com ON THE REMOTE ARCTIC archipelago Svalbard lies a vault containing nearly one million seeds that can be used to repopulate threatened plant species and ensure biodiversity in the face of a potential global crisis.

But this seed bank has a potential major weakness: It is on the planet Earth.

On Saturday, March 6, University of Arizona assistant professor of aerospace and mechanical engineering Jekan Thanga proposed a “lunar ark” at the Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers’ Aerospace Conference. In his presentation, Thanga described the need for a “global insurance policy,” and how life on Earth can survive potential catastrophes by storing seeds, spores and more—including human genetic material such as sperm and eggs—on the moon.

“Life on Earth is not always necessarily merry,” Thanga said. “There are many cataclysms in our history. There’s quite a number of us, myself included, tracking critical events in Earth’s history, such as asteroid impacts… And this touches on several timely topics. One of the big draws is the fallibility of human civilization and ecosystems. It’s more upfront now for many of us witnessing current events. There’s a sense of fragility seeing the dramatic impact of COVID. That strikes a chord with getting people’s attention.”

Similar to the biblical story of Noah’s Ark, Thanga’s modern day ark would hold reproductive samples from more than 6 million Earth species. But instead of floating on a flooded Earth, this ark would be housed inside recently discovered lava tubes under the moon’s surface, many of which have remained undisturbed for billions of years.

Of course, this is only a proposal, and creating such an ark would require technology not yet developed. Transporting those millions of seed and DNA samples to the moon is estimated to require rough-

ly 250 rocket launches. By comparison, it only took 40 launches to build the International Space Station.

Thanga says the proposal serves both as a legitimate scientific concept, but also it furthers the theoretical conversation about the need for a global insurance policy.

Though COVID is the latest disaster to spur discussions about global survival, Thanga says climate change is another potential cataclysm, and one that can threaten the aforementioned Svalbard vault.

“We’ve proposed a solution that has been refined and is making use of a multitude of advancements that are fitting for our time,” Thanga said. “On the other hand, it’s making stronger the question that if there is mass cataclysm, what is our answer? Are we at the point where we can manage and prepare for it? In other words, can we survive these situations?”

Thanga outlined the lunar ark concept with a group of his undergraduate and graduate students. The team’s model involves an underground base that would hold cryogenically preserved samples and is powered by solar panels. According to UA, to be “cryopreserved,” the seeds must be cooled to negative 292 degrees fahrenheit and stem cells kept at negative 320 degrees fahrenheit. As a reference for just how cold this is, the Pfizer COVID-19 vaccine must be stored at negative 94 degrees fahrenheit.

“What amazes me about projects like this is that they make me feel like we are getting closer to becoming a space civilization, and to a not-very-distant future where humankind will have bases on the moon and Mars,” said Álvaro Díaz-Flores Caminero, a UA doctoral student leading the thermal analysis for the project. “Multidisciplinary projects are hard due to their complexity, but I think the same complexity is what makes them beautiful.”

Though it is highly conceptual, Thanga has a history of working with technologically advanced projects. These include projects supported by NASA and the U.S. Air Force, such as his work with “CubeSats,” miniature satellites that are

JEFF GARDNER

currently being used to simulate the surface environments of asteroids.

Thanga and his team even considered those satellites as potential homes for the ark, but decided the project would be simpler—if such a project can be considered simple—on a solid body.

“We don’t have resources floating in space, so we’d have to mine them from an asteroid or from the moon, as opposed to utilizing the moon’s resources that are already there,” Thanga said. “The lava tube is a natural structure that we could utilize. By our current estimates they are untouched for three billion years, and for that reason very stable. They also do not receive cosmic or solar radiation, or micrometeorite impact.”

Scientists discovered the lunar lava tubes beneath the moon’s surface early last decade. Similarly structured to Earth’s, these lava tubes form from lava flowing through the ground, gradually emptying out and leaving a cavernous channel behind. However, these lunar tubes are far larger than the lava tubes in places like Hawaii, and can stretch to more than 300 feet in diameter.

“We are looking at how to use small satellites or small spacecraft to go out and explore these extreme environments, and in this paradigm of exploration, it’s a very high risk. So it makes a lot more sense to send robots first to really get a feel for what these tubes are,” Thanga said.

Thanga is hesitant to give specific dates for a prediction as to when this ark could happen, but can list some scientific advancements required to make the project feasible. First, he says scientists would need to develop complex robotics that can operate under the extreme cold present within the moon’s lava tubes.

In addition, they’d also need to overcome a phenomenon called “cold welding,” where similar metals in a vacuum (such as in space) can fuse together simply by touching because there is literally nothing between them, such as air, as there normally is on Earth.

Because of rapidly diversifying space industries, Thanga says there are multiple potential groups who may fund the project. These can range from government agencies to independent companies like SpaceX, to multinational organizations like the United Nations. Again looking at the Svalbard vault as an analog, that project is managed by multiple groups, including the Norwegian government and the nonprofit Crop Trust, and funded by various governments and charitable organizations working toward a common goal.

“I would see the trigger as an imminent threat, several notches worse than COVID, and we slip by it,” Thanga said. “That might alert people to the fact that we need this idea of a backup or a way to limit the shock of one of these possible cataclysms.” ■

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CHOW

ROCCO’S PICCATA

An American take on a standard Italian recipe just got a little better with help from Tucson’s favorite Chicagoan chef and a batch of Meyer lemons

By Austin Counts austin@tucsonlocalmedia.com

YOU KNOW ANTHONY ‘ROCCO’ DIGRAZIA FROM his lionized restaurant dedicated to all things Windy City related, Rocco’s Little Chicago. But did you know the Chicago native also spends his free time perfecting recipes from the old county?

DiGrazia shares with us one of his staple comfort food recipes that is sure to please all carnivores— Meyer lemon chicken piccata with rosemary.

“This is my favorite variety of chicken piccata, which is one of those very easy recipes that someone can throw together that looks and tastes pretty impressive and the dish is adaptable,” DiGrazia said.

Hopefully, we’re all familiar with Italy’s method of fileting, battering and sauteing a protein called piccata. The method is similar to battering and frying chicken but adds a few extra steps to prepare the meat and accompanying sauce. While Italians traditionally make the dish with veal, Italian-Americans began adapting the recipe to use yardbird due to its affordability and availability.

DiGrazia said he was inspired to play around with the traditional chicken piccata recipe after

being gifted a large batch of Meyer lemons from a friend years ago. Meyer lemons have a sweeter, more orangey taste than their sour sister, the lemon.

“I was wondering what I was going to do with this big batch of Meyer lemons and this came to me,” DiGrazia said. “I added the rosemary because it goes well with citrus and usually chicken piccata doesn’t have garlic, but I add garlic to everything.”

While the process of butterflying the chicken (slicing the chicken breast from the side, but stopping just before cutting the breast in two pieces) and then dredging the breast in flour before sauteing is traditionally the same, the secret to this dish is in the sauce.

COURTESY PHOTO If you can’t get your hands on a few Meyer Rocco DiGrazia lemons, DiGrazia has a great hack that works well Salt and Pepper to taste in a pinch.

Chopped flat-leaf parsley to garnish “A Meyer lemon is essentially two parts lemon to one part orange,” DiGrazia said. “You could use Procedure: about a ½ cup of lemon juice and then a tablespoon or two of orange juice to bring out some of Butterfly chicken breasts and pound out if they’re the sweetness and cut down on some of the acid.” no more than ¼ inch thick.

DiGrazia recommends pairing the finished dish Season chicken with salt and pepper to taste. with a side of ricotta gnocchi and a glass of your Melt 3 Tbsp butter and all of the oil in a large cast favorite wine. iron skillet (preferred) or pan on medium heat.

Dredge chicken in flour and shake off excess ROCCO’S MEYER LEMON CHICKEN PICCATA Fry chicken for about 4 minutes per side until WITH ROSEMARY lighly browned and then on a paper towel.

Ingredients: To Make the Sauce: 2 skinless boneless chicken breasts Saute rosemary and garlic in the pan for a min1 ½ cups all-purpose flour ute or so, until fragrant. Then add chicken stock 6 Tbsp Extra virgin olive oil and Meyer lemon juice to the pan.

6 Tbsp unsalted butter Scrape up browned bits and cook until stock 1/3 cup chicken stock and juice mix reduces a bit and thickens up. ½ cup Meyer lemon juice Add the capers or olives to the pan and barely ¼ cup of rinsed capers OR julienned kalamata melt the remaining butter into the sauce. olives Season dish with salt and pepper and serve A 6-inch sprig of fresh rosemary, stripped and sauce over chicken and steamed broccolini. minced Garnish with parsley.

1-2 cloves of minced garlic

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MARCH 18, 2021

ARTS & CULTURE

COURTESY TUCSON MUSEUM OF ART

Mark and Kathleen Sublette

HEALTHY SUPPORT

Local gallery owners win TMA’s 2021 Ambassador Circle Lifetime Achievement Award

Mark and Kathleen met in the late 1980s while they were in medical school at the University of Arizona.

Soon after they met, they became a formidable art collecting duo. They have collected and elevated native art together for decades. They showcase both historical and contemporary indigenous art pieces at Mark Sublette Medicine Man Gallery, 6872 E. Sunrise Drive, which they’ve owned and operated as a team for more than two decades.

“It’s critical to show the insane artistic merit that the Native arts have, which in every form and fashion are just as compelling as any other kind of art form that’s out there,” Mark said.

Since 1992, their gallery has displayed important western and indigenous art, textiles and jewelry.

It is also home to the Maynard Dixon Museum. Considered to be one of the pioneers of Western painting, Dixon documented the traditions of Arizona tribes and the West through his work.

Medicine Man Galley has enriched the community of Tucson not only though the work it showcases, but also by attracting artists and collectors from all over the country.

Mikolajczak said there is a “ripple effect” that occurs when people come to Tucson to visit their galley. They

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often times become ambassadors for the art of Tucson and the wealth of cultures that exists here.

In addition to supporting Native artists, the Sublettes have lent a hand to many other local artists throughout their careers and encouraged them to donate their work to TMA so the museum can grow its collections.

Mark described museums as critically important reflections of the community. He said it is of paramount importance to develop local artists and display their work to help people learn about different cultures and ideas that they may not otherwise take the time to appreciate.

The Sublettes were both surprised and honored to be receiving the 2021 Ambassador Circle Lifetime Achievement Award. As they look toward the future, they hope to continue to use the Sublette Family Foundation for the Arts as a platform to advance the arts in Tucson and Southern Arizona by filling in the gaps in the Tucson art community and helping local artists create work.

“I think it’s important that we all try to improve our communities in whatever ways we can,” Mark said. “If you happen to get an award, well, that’s a bonus. But it shouldn’t be what you’re trying to go after.”■

the American West,” said TMA Director and CEO Jeremy Mikolajczak.

“This entire community has benefited from their generosity.”

The Sublettes have donated numerMARK AND KATHLEEN SUBLETTE ous art pieces to TMA over the last 15 will receive the 2021 Ambassador years, including indigenous textiles, Circle Lifetime Achievement Award work by Tucson artist Maynard from the Tucson Museum of Art for their commitment to the preservation Dixon and, most recently, 59 pieces of indigenous pottery from the Rio of the art of the American West and the role they’ve played in expanding Grande region of the Southwest.

This pottery is on display in TMA’s access to art in our community. new Indigenous Arts Gallery, which The Ambassador Circle Lifetime opened to the public on March 10.

Achievement Award was created in Mikolajczak explained that the 2017 to honor an artist, community new gallery is a “community curated member or patron who is dedicated model.” Gallery curators have been to advancing art both at TMA and working alongside indigenous adviin Southern Arizona. Every year, a panel of museum staff and members sors from various tribal communities to make decisions about the pieces of TMA’s philanthropic Leadership COURTESY TUCSON MUSEUM OF ART that will be displayed and to ensure Circle select the winner.

Nampeyo, Hopi-Tewa; Hano, First Mesa, Arizona; Seed Jar, 1905, clay, polychrome slip the narratives being told are support- decoration. Collection of the Tucson Museum of Art. Gift from the Collection of Drs. Mark “Mark and Kathleen have really ed by native peoples. and Kathleen Sublette. helped shape the future of the art of

By Madison Beal tucsonweekly@tucsonlocalmedia.com

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THE FOILIES 2021 CONTINUED FROM PAGE 8

THE REDACTION MOST LIKELY TO MAKE YOUR BUBBE WEEP: FEDERAL AVIATION ADMINISTRATION WHEN GENERAL ATOMICS proposed flying a new class of drone over the San Diego region to demonstrate its domestic surveillance capabilities, Voice of San Diego Reporter Jesse Marx obviously wanted to learn how it possibly could have been approved. So he filed a FOIA request with the Federal Aviation Administration, and ultimately a lawsuit to liberate documentation.

Among the records he received was an email containing a “little vent” from an FAA worker that began with “Oy vey” and then virtually everything else, including the employee’s four bullet-pointed “genuinely constructive thoughts,” were redacted.

THE GOVERNMENT RETRIBUTION AWARD: CITY OF PORTLAND, OREGON PEOPLE SEEKING PUBLIC records all too often have to sue the government to get a response to their records requests. But in an unusual turn-around, when attorney and activist Alan Kessler requested records from the City of Portland related to text messages on government phones, the government retaliated by suing him and demanding that he turn over copies of his own phone messages.

Among other things, the City specifically demanded that Kessler hand over all Signal, WhatsApp, email, and text messages having to do with Portland police violence, the Portland police in general, and the Portland protests.

Runner up: Reporter CJ Ciaramella requested records from the Washington State Department of Corrections about Michael Forest Reinoehl, who was killed by a joint U.S. Marshals task force. The Washington DOC apparently planned to produce the records—but before it could, the Thurston County Sheriff’s Department

sued Ciaramella and the agency to stop the records from being disclosed.

THE MOST EXPENSIVE COVERUP AWARD: SMALL BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION IN THE EARLY WEEKS OF THE pandemic, the Small Business Administration (SBA) awarded millions of dollars to small businesses through new COVID-related relief programs—but didn’t make the names of recipients public. When major news organizations including ProPublica, the Washington Post, and the New York Times filed public records requests to learn exactly where that money had gone, the SBA dragged its feet, and then—after the news organizations sued—tried to withhold the information under FOIA Exemptions 4 and 6, for confidential and private information.

A court rejected both claims, and also forced the government to cough up more than $120,000 in fees to the news organizations’ lawyers.

THE SECRET COVID STATISTICS AWARD: NORTH CAROLINA DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES SEEKING A BETTER understanding of the toll of COVID-19 in the early days of the pandemic, journalists in North Carolina requested copies of death certificates from local county health departments.

Within days, officials from the state Department of Health and Human Services reached out to county offices with guidance not to provide the requested records—without citing any legal justification whatsoever. DHHS did not respond to reporters’ questions about why it issued that guidance or how it was justified.

Some local agencies followed the guidance and withheld records, some responded speedily, and some turned them over begrudgingly—emphasis on the grudge.

“I will be making everyone in Iredell County aware through various means available; that you are wanting all these death records with their loved ones private information!” one county official wrote to The News and Observer Review reporters in an email.

“As an elected official, it is relevant the

public be aware of how you are trying to bully the county into just giving you info from private citizens because you think you deserve it.”

THE IT’S SO SECRET, EVEN THE BULLET POINTS ARE CLASSIFIED AWARD: MINNESOTA FUSION CENTER LAW ENFORCEMENT AND intelligence agencies are always overzealous in claims that disclosing information will harm national security. But officials with the Minnesota Fusion Center took this paranoia to new heights when they claimed a state law protecting “security information” required them to redact everything—including bullet point—in documents they provided to journalist Ken Klippenstein. And we quite literally mean the bullets themselves.

Fusion centers are part of a controversial program coordinated by the U.S. Department of Homeland Security to facilitate the flow of homeland security intelligence among agencies. Each fusion center is maintained by a state or regional agency; in this case, the Minnesota Bureau of Criminal Apprehension.

Klippenstein tweeted that the agency wouldn’t provide document titles or any other information, all the while adding the dreaded black redaction bars to bulleted lists throughout the records. But if officials redacted the bullet points in earnest, we wonder: what is the security risk if the public learns whether Minnesota homeland security officials use the default bullet points or some more exotic style or font? Will the terrorists win if we know they used Wingdings?

THE CAT FACE FILTER AWARD: FEDERAL BUREAU OF PRISONS KIDS THESE DAYS—OVERLAYING cat faces on their videos and showing the BOP how it should redact media sought by FOIA requesters. That was the message from an incredulous federal appeals court in March 2020 after the BOP claimed it lacked the ability to blur out or otherwise redact faces (such as those of prisoners and guards) from surveillance videos sought through FOIA by an inmate

who was stabbed with a screwdriver in a prison dining hall.

The court wrote: “The same teenagers who regale each other with screenshots are commonly known to revise those missives by such techniques as inserting cat faces over the visages of humans.”

The judge made clear that although “we do not necessarily advocate that specific technique,” the BOP’s learned helplessness to redact video footage is completely hilarious.

THE JUKING THE FOIA STATS AWARD: CENTERS FOR DISEASE CONTROL

THE WIRE, THE CLASSIC HBO police drama, laid bare how police departments across the country manipulate data to present trends about crime being down.

As ex-detective Roland Pryzbylewski put it: “Juking the stats ... Making robberies into larcenies. Making rapes disappear. You juke the stats, and majors become colonels.”

The Centers for Disease Control seems to love to juke its FOIA stats. As the non-profit advocacy organization American Oversight alleged in a lawsuit last year, the CDC has been systematically rejecting FOIA requests by claiming they are overly broad or burdensome, despite years of court decisions requiring agencies to work in good faith with requesters to try to help them find records or narrow their request. The CDC then categorizes those supposedly overbroad requests as “withdrawn” by the requester and closes the file without having to provide any records. So those FOIAs disappear, much like the violent crime reports in The Wire.

MARCH 18, 2021

The CDC’s annual FOIA reports show that the agency’s two-step juke move is a favorite. According to American Oversight, between 2016 and 2019, CDC closed between 21 to 31% of all FOIA requests it received as “withdrawn.” CDC’s closure rate during that period was roughly three times that of its parent agency, the Department of Health and Human Services, which on average only closed 6 to 10% of its FOIAs as withdrawn.

After American Oversight sued, the CDC began releasing documents.

THE SAVE THE CHILDREN (IN A HIDDEN FOLDER) AWARD: LOUISVILLE METROPOLITAN POLICE DEPARTMENT, KENTUCKY THE LOUISVILLE METROPOLITAN Police Department’s Explorer Scouts program was supposed to give teenagers a chance to learn more about careers in law enforcement. For two LMPD officers, though, it became an opportunity for sexual abuse. When reporters asked for more information on the perpetrators, the city chose to respond with further absurdity —

by destroying its records. The case against the city and the Boy Scouts of America is scheduled to begin in April.

The Courier-Journal in Louisville first asked LMPD in mid-2019 for all records regarding the two officers’ sexual abuse of minors. Louisville claimed it didn’t have any; they had been turned over to the FBI. Then the Courier-Journal appealed, and the city eventually determined that—well, what do you know—they’d found a “hidden folder” still containing the responsive records—738,000 of them, actually. Not for long, though. Less than a month later, they’d all been deleted, despite the ongoing request, a casualty of the city’s automated backup and deletion system, according to Louisville.

At the end of 2020, the CourierJournal was still fighting the city’s failure to comply with the Kentucky Open Records Act. “I have practiced open records law since the law was enacted 45 years ago, and I have never seen anything so brazen,” said Courier-Journal attorney Jon Fleischaker told the paper. “I think it an outrage.”

THE ERIC CARTMAN RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH AWARD: HASKELL INDIAN NATIONS UNIVERSITY, KANSAS WHEN JARED NALLY, EDITOR-INchief of the Indian Leader, the student newspaper at Haskell Indian Nations University in Lawrence, Kansas, started putting questions to his school’s administration and sending records requests to the local police department, he got a lot more than he expected: A directive from his school’s president demanding he cease his requests in the name of the student paper and henceforth treat officials with proper respect, lest he face disciplinary action.

“Your behavior has discredited you and this university,” Haskell Indian Nations University President Ronald Graham wrote. “You have compromised your credibility within the community and, more importantly, you have brought yourself, The Indian Leader, Haskell, and me unwarranted attention.”

Graham’s aggressive tactics against the college Junior quickly rallied support for the student journalist,

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with the Native American Journalists Association, Foundation for Individual Rights in Education, and Student Press Law Center all calling for the formal directive to be rescinded.

The school ultimately did back down, but the efforts left Nally shocked.

“As a student journalist, I’d only been doing it for a year,” he told Poynter in an interview. “When somebody in authority says things like that about you, it really does take a hit. … I’d say I’m recovering from the gaslighting effects, and feeling like what I’m doing really is every bit a part of journalism.”

THE 30 DAYS OF NIGHT AWARD: HAMILTON COUNTY, TENNESSEE IT’S HARD TO IMAGINE A MORE benign request than asking for copies of other public records requests, but that’s exactly what got Hamilton County officials in Tennessee so spooked they started a mass purge of documents. The shred-a-thon started after Chattanooga Times Free Press reporter Sarah Grace Taylor requested to examine the requests to see if the

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THE FOILIES 2021 CONTINUED FROM PAGE 15

county’s policies for releasing materials were arbitrary. Originally, the county asked for $717 for about 1,500 pages of records, which Taylor declined to pay in favor of inspecting the records herself.

But as negotiations to view the records commenced, records coordinator Dana Beltramo requested and received permission to update their retention policy to just 30 days for records requests. After Taylor’s continued reporting on the issue sparked an outcry, the county revised its policy once again and promised to do better. “What we did today was basically try to prevent the confusion of mistakes that have happened from happening again,”said Hamilton County mayor Jim Coppinger.

In other words, it’s all just a big misunderstanding.

THE POWER OF THE TWEET AWARD: FORMER PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP SECRECY NERDS KNOW THAT classification authority—the power to essentially mark some documents as secrets exempt from disclosure— resides with and is largely at the discretion of the president, who can then designate that authority as needed to agency personnel. So one expected upside of a loose-lipped president with an undisciplined social media habit was

the ability to use the Tweeter-in-Chief’s posts to target otherwise inaccessible FOIA requests.

Case in point: Trump’s Oct. 6, 2020 tweet: “I have fully authorized the total Declassification of any & all documents pertaining to the single greatest political CRIME in American History, the Russia Hoax. Likewise, the Hillary Clinton Email Scandal.

No redactions!” Hard to argue there’s ambiguity there. But when BuzzFeed News’ Jason Leopold flagged that order in his ongoing lawsuit for the materials, that’s exactly what the Department of Justice did. Based on their investigations, DOJ lawyers told the court, the posts “were not selfexecuting declassification orders and do not require the declassification of any particular documents.”

The court ultimately bought the argument that you can’t take what the then-president tweets too seriously, but Trump declassified other materials related to the FBI’s investigation... on his last day in office.

THE HANDCUFFS AND PRIOR RESTRAINTS AWARD: CHICAGO POLICE DEPARTMENT AND CITY OF CHICAGO, ILLINOIS IN FEBRUARY 2019, A SWARM OF Chicago police officers raided the wrong apartment with their guns drawn. They handcuffed the resident, Anjanette Young, who was completely undressed, and they refused to let her put on clothes as she pleaded with them dozens of times that they had the wrong house. Young sued the city

in federal court and filed a request for body camera footage of the officers who invaded her home. The local CBS affiliate, CBS 2, also requested the body camera footage.

The Chicago Police Department denied both requests, despite a binding ruling just months earlier that CPD was required to turn over body camera footage to people like Young who were involved in the recorded events. Young ultimately got the footage as part of her lawsuit, and her attorney provided them to the media. The city’s lawyers then took the extraordinary step of asking the court to order CBS 2 not to air the video, a demand to censor speech before it occurs called a “prior restraint.” The judge denied the city’s request.

The city also sought sanctions against Young’s attorney, but the city withdrew its motion and Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot called the request “ill-advised” in a letter to the court. The judge decided not to sanction Young’s attorney.

THE THIN CRUST, WOOD-FIRED REDACTIONS AWARD: U.S. STATE DEPARTMENT FORMER SECRETARY OF STATE Mike Pompeo hosted plenty of controversial meals during his threeyear tenure. There was the indoor holiday party last December and those bizarre, lavish “Madison Dinners” that cost taxpayers tens of thousands of dollars, including more than $10k for embossed pens alone. And while we know the full menu of Pompeo’s high-class North Korea summit in 2018 in Manhattan—filet mignon with corn purée was the centerpiece—the public may never find out two searing culinary questions about Mikey: What are his pizza toppings of choice, and what’s his go-to sandwich?

On the pizza angle, the State Department let slip that Pompeo likes it thin and wood-fired, in emails released to NBC correspondent Josh Lederman. But the list of toppings was far too saucy for public consumption, apparently, and redacted on privacy grounds. Same for Pompeo’s sandwichof-choice, which the State Department redacted from emails released to American Oversight. But we still know “plenty of dry snacks and diet coke” were on offer.

THE SELF-SERVING SECRECY AWARD: NIAGARA COUNTY, NEW YORK MONEY TALKS. THE NEW YORK legislature knew this when it passed the Ethics in Government Act in 1987, which required, among other public transparency measures, elected officials in 50,000 person-plus municipalities to complete financial disclosure forms each year. The public should be allowed to see who our leaders may be particularly keen to hear.

Sixty-one of NY’s 62 counties generally accepted that the disclosure forms, created for public use in the first place, were meant to be disclosed, according to the New York Coalition for Open Government. Back in 1996, though, while everyone was presumably distracted watching the Yankees or Independence Day, Niagara County found a quick trick to keep from sharing its officials’ finances: they made it illegal. By local ordinance, the records were made secret, and the county proceeded to reject any requests for access by claiming that releasing the information would be a violation of the law.

This local law prohibiting access was itself, of course, a violation of the law, but Niagara County managed to keep it on the books for more than two decades, and it may have gotten away with it had it not been for the work of the NY Coalition for Open Government.

In February 2020, the NYCOG, represented by the University at Buffalo School of Law Civil Rights & Transparency Clinic, sued Niagara County, alleging its ordinance was unlawful (because it was). This past fall, a court agreed. Five months later, in January 2021, the county began releasing records, ones that should have been available for the last 30+ years. ■ The Foilies were compiled by Electronic Frontier Foundation Director of Investigations Dave Maass, Senior Staff Attorney Aaron Mackey, and Frank Stanton Fellow Naomi Gilens, and MuckRock News Co-Founder Michael Morisy and Senior Reporter and Projects Editor Beryl Lipton, with further writing and editing by Shawn Musgrave.

Illustrations are by EFF Designer Caitlyn Crites. Creative Commons - Attribution EFF/Muckrock News.

MARCH 18, 2021

MAMMA’S MEDICINE

Advocacy Group Seeks To Add Autism to List of Qualifying Conditions for Medical Marijuana Card

By David Abbott david@tucsonlocalmedia.com POLITICAL ACTIVISM CAN create strange bedfellows. In this case, a conservative Christian organization is teaming up with the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws to advocate for medical marijuana access for kids—and adults—with Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Both Arizona NORML and Mothers Advocating Medical Marijuana for Autism are supporting state legislation to allow autism as a qualifying condition for a MMJ patient card, but due to “gatekeepers” in the Arizona Senate, a bill to make that happen

has been stalled and there is no telling when the opportunity will come again.

House Bill 2154, a bipartisan bill sponsored by Rep. Diego Espinoza (D-LD19), Rep. Regina Cobb (R-LD5), Rep. Jennifer Jermaine (D-LD18) and Rep. Kevin Payne (R-LD21), seeks to add any debilitating condition of ASD to the list of qualifying conditions to the medical marijuana program.

MAMMA, founded in 2014, is an organization started in Texas by a group of Christian women who were searching for answers to ease the pain their autistic children endured as a result of the ravages of the disorder.

According to the CDC, ASD is a developmental disability that can cause significant

social, communication and behavioral challenges.

“There is often nothing about how people with ASD look that sets them apart from other people, but people with ASD may communicate, interact, behave, and learn in ways that are different from most other people,” states the CDC website.

“The learning, thinking, and problem-solving abilities of people with ASD can range from gifted to severely challenged. Some people with ASD need a lot of help in their daily lives; others need less.”

Autism symptoms can include many social interactive problems and in extreme cases autistic children can also fly into violent rages, often hurting themselves and their parents.

Brandy Williams, a Phoenix-area mother who is a longtime member of Arizona MAMMA, has worked to try to get relief for other parents that she has seen with her 11-year-old son Logan Simpson.

“I’ve seen him put his head through a glass window and I’ve seen him hit a concrete sidewalk so hard I thought his head was gonna cave in,” Williams said of the self-harm Logan has done over the years.

“He’s had black eyes, and all the doors in our house [at one point] had holes in them.”

Logan would open and close doors

TUCSONWEEKLY.COM 17

throughout the house over and over again, until many of the doors and hinges on cabinets in the kitchen were broken.

Williams herself suffered injury from Logan’s outbursts and would often be rebuked in public because she could not control her son.

The Williams family went through all of the medical solutions available to families with autistic children, namely therapy and heavy doses of various drugs and narcotics intended to treat symptoms. But she worried they would ultimately do more harm than good.

“I couldn’t take my son anywhere, he would just scream and rip my hair out and people would just stare,” she said. “There was no restaurants, there was no movie theaters, there was no playground. There was no grocery shopping. When he was three years old, his pediatrician handed me a ’script for Risperdal and a ’script for a protective helmet and said, ‘Good luck.’”

Their living situation became so bad that Williams’ daughter asked to move in with her grandparents when she was 16 years old.

With nowhere to turn, Williams decided to give cannabis a try after seeing the positive effects it had on her father, CONTINUED ON PAGE 18

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who suffered from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and who had treated it with medical marijuana since it became legal in Arizona.

“I really didn’t know the implications that cannabis would have on autism because I didn’t really know about it,” she said. “I just wanted to remove one drug from his life, and that was his seizure medicine, so we tried CBD.” She realized CBD wasn’t sufficient but was still hesitant to get his card, associating the medical marijuana program as a way for stoners to get hassle-free drugs.

“At first I didn’t really know if I should go get a card,” she said. “I was a little nervous because the doctors—what were they gonna say?”

Williams finally acquired Logan’s medical cannabis card with a diagnosis of epilepsy when he was 5. This took place just a few months after Arizona law changed to legalize marijuana derivatives.

“I gave him his first dose in June 2015 and within 20 minutes, it started providing relief. No kidding,” she said.

Williams still faced criticism because of the perception that parents of autistic children are just getting them stoned so they don’t have to deal with them, but she says that is not the case.

“It’s a lot more than ‘just doping them up,’” she said. “People don’t understand what the levels of severe anxiety, fear and rage are doing to these young kids.”

Autism affects the endocannabinoid system, one of the major regulatory systems of the body that helps control movement, hence the use of cannabis for those suffering the effects of Parkinson’s Disease.

It also helps regulate sleep. Williams said that one of Logan’s “tics” was that he was always moving and was not able to sleep, therefore no one in the family was able to

COURTESY PHOTO

Medical cannabis has improved the life of Logan Simpson, who has been scarred by the effects of autism.

get much sleep either.

“He would literally spin around in circles, run back and forth and open and close doors all day long,” she said. “His body did not rest ever, ever: I used to have to sleep on the floor in front of the door with one eye open.”

Within months, of his first use of MMJ, Logan was making progress. He began to be able to speak in something approximating sentences. He was even able to go to school and learned how to read within a year.

Unfortunately, due to coronavirus, Logan has regressed, but that has not affected Williams’ desire to see changes in laws surrounding cannabis.

“We had about four good years where there was no police, there was no acts of aggression at school and he was not banging his head anymore,” she said. “Everything was decreased in severity.”

Williams said things are improving again, and thinks if she would have been able to go to Phoenix directly as HB2154 worked its way through the process, it may well have passed.

CONTINUED ON PAGE 21

MARCH 18, 2021

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MARCH 18, 2021

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

By Rob Brezsny. Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY HOROSCOPE 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700 $1.99 per minute. 18 and over. Touchtone phone required.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Poet Ocean Vuong speaks of the Hawaiian word kipuka. It refers to a patch of earth that doesn’t get covered with lava when an active volcano exudes its molten material. “Before the lava descended,” Vuong writes, “that piece of land was insignificant, just another scrap in an endless mass of green.” But now that piece of land is special, having endured. I encourage you to identify your metaphorical equivalent of kipuka, Aries. It’s an excellent time to celebrate the power and luck and resilience that have enabled you to persevere.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Extraordinary things are always hiding in places people never think to look,” writes Taurus author Jodi Picoult. Luckily for you, Taurus, in the near future you’ll be prone to look in exactly those places—where no one else has thought to look. That means you’ll be extra likely to find useful, interesting, even extraordinary things that have mostly been hidden and unused.

You may also discover some boring and worthless things, but the trade-off will be worth your effort.

Congratulations in advance on summoning such brave curiosity.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice,” said Gemini author Saul Bellow. So if you have come here today to read my horoscopes, it’s possible that you’re seeking an accomplice to approve of you making a decision or a move that you have already decided to do. OK. I’ll be your accomplice.

But as your accomplice, the first thing I’ll do is try to influence you to make sure your upcoming actions serve not only your own selfish interests (although there’s nothing wrong with that), but also serve the interests of people you care for. The weeks ahead will be a favorable time to blend self-interest and noble idealism.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): A character in Barbara Kingsolver’s novel The Lacuna is told to “go rub his soul against life.” Now I’ll advise you to do the same. Why? While it’s true that you have a beautiful soul, you sometimes get in the habit of hiding it away or keeping it secret. You feed it a wealth of dreams and emotions and longings, but may not go far enough in providing it with raw experience out in the messy, chaotic world.

In my judgment, now is one of those times when you would benefit from rubbing your soul against life. Please note: I DON’T mean you should go in search of rough, tough downers. Not at all. In fact, there are plenty of pleasurable, safe, educational ways to rub your soul against life.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): If you love the work of selfhelp author Paulo Coelho, you might be inclined to adopt his motto as your own: “Being vulnerable is the best way to allow my heart to feel true pleasure.” But maybe you wouldn’t want to adopt his motto. After all, what he’s suggesting requires a great deal of courage and daring. Who among us finds it easy and natural to be soft and receptive and inviting? And yet according to my analysis of the astrological omens, this is exactly what your assignment should be for the next two weeks.

To help motivate yourself, remember the payoff described by Coelho: the possibility that your heart will feel true pleasure.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Virgo author Michael Ondaatje celebrates “the hidden presence of others in us—even those we have known briefly. We contain them for the rest of our lives, at every border we cross.” As you approach your own upcoming border-crossing, dear Virgo, I encourage you to tune into memories about seven specific people who over the course of your life have provided you with the most joy and the most interesting lessons. Close your eyes for 20 minutes and imagine they are all gathered together with you in your favorite sanctuary. Remember in detail the bless-

SAVAGE LOVE THE PHONE JOB

By Dan Savage, mail@savagelove.net

A male friend—not my best friend but a close one—told me his wife was really attracted to me, another male, and asked if I was attracted to her. His wife is an incredibly hot woman and I thought it was a trick question. I read your column and listen to the Savage Lovecast, Dan, so I know there are guys out there who want other men to sleep with their wives, of course, but I didn’t want to risk offending this friend by saying “FUCK YEAH” too quickly. After he convinced me it wasn’t a trick, I told him that of course I wanted

to have sex with his wife. She’s incredibly beautiful and a really great person. I told him was that I not at the least bit bisexual and not into MMF threesomes and he told me he wouldn’t even be there. He just wanted to hear all the details later—and hear them from me, not her.

I’ve slept with his wife four times since and the sex we’ve been having is phenomenal for both of us. But the talks I have afterwards with my friend make me uncomfortable. We’ve gotten on the phone later in the day or the next day

ings they bestowed on you. Give thanks for their influences, for the gifts they gave that have helped you become your beautiful self.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “A balance that does not tremble cannot weigh. A person who does not oscillate cannot live.” So wrote biochemist Erwin Chargaff, who did crucial research leading to the discovery of DNA’s double helix structure. Since you’re the zodiac’s expert on balance and oscillation, and because these themes will be especially meaningful for you in the coming days, I’ll ask you to meditate on them with extra focus. Here’s my advice: To be healthy and resilient, you need to be aware of other possibilities besides those that seem obvious and simple and absolutely true.

You need to consider the likelihood that the most correct answers are almost certainly those that are paradoxical and complicated and full of nuance.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In her poem “Sandra,” Scorpio poet Ariana Reines testifies that she has too many feelings—and that’s not a problem. On the contrary. They are her wealth, she says, her “invisible splendor.” I invite you to regard your own “too many feelings” in the same way, especially in the coming weeks. You will have opportunities to harness your flood of feelings in behalf of transformative insights and holistic decision-making. Your motto: Feelings are healing.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Historian and author Thomas Berry described “wildness” as the source of our “authentic spontaneities.” He said it’s “the wellspring of creativity” at the root of our lust for life. That’s a different definition from the idea that wildness is about being unruly, rough, and primitive. And Berry’s definition happens to be the one that should be central to your work and play in the coming weeks. Your assignment is to be wild: that is, to cultivate your authentic spontaneities; to home in on and nourish the creative wellspring of your lust for life.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Some of the great discoveries in the history of physics have been made while the trailblazing physicists are lolling in bed or in the bathtub. They have done

and I give him the details and insult him a little, which he likes, and honestly none of that is the problem. What makes me uncomfortable is that I can hear him beating off during these phone calls.

Which makes me feel like I’m having phone sex with a guy. I’m not comfortable with this and I feel like our friendship has become sexualized in a way that just feels unnatural for me. The one time we met in person to talk after I fucked his wife he was visibly aroused throughout our entire conversation. I would like to keep fucking my friend’s wife and she wants to keep fucking me but I don’t want to talk with my friend about it afterwards. Shouldn’t it be enough for him to just know I’m fucking her?

the research and carried out the rigorous thinking, and are rewarded with breakthroughs while relaxing. I think that will be your best formula for success in the coming weeks. Important discoveries are looming. Interesting innovations are about to hatch. You’re most likely to gather them in if you work intensely on preparing the way for them, then go off and do something fun and rejuvenating.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): My typical horoscope is an average of 108 words long. In that limited space, I can’t possibly tell you all the themes and threads that will be active for you during the upcoming phase of your cycle. I have to make choices about what to include and what not to include. This time I’ll focus on the fact that you now have an opportunity to deepen your relationship with your sense of smell—and to purposefully nourish your sense of smell. Your homework: Decide on at least five scents with which you will cultivate an intimate, playful, delightful connection in the coming days. (PS: You may be surprised at how this practice will deepen your emotional connection with the world.)

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): No one had ever proven that there was such a thing as electromagnetic waves until Piscean physicist Heinrich Hertz (1857–1894) did so in 1886. He was the innovator who first transmitted and received controlled radio waves. Alas, he didn’t think his breakthrough was useful. In 1890, he confessed, “I do not think that the wireless waves I have discovered will have any practical application.” But other scientists were soon capitalizing on his work to communicate long distances. Radio broadcasts were born.

I will encourage you not to make a Hertzian-type mistake in the coming months. Always follow through on your initial labors. Have faith that the novelties you dream up will eventually have practical value. ■ Homework: If you believed everything you see in the “news,” you’d be so full of despair you couldn’t move. Describe how you protect yourself.

Truthrooster@gmail.com.

—Distressed Aussie Chafes Under Cringe Kink P.S. This is his thing, not hers. She loves having sex with me but the calls to her husband don’t do anything for her.

It’s obviously not enough for him to know you’re fucking his wife. If that was enough for him, DACUCK, he wouldn’t want to get on the phone with afterwards.

This is a consent question. If your friend consents to his wife having sex with other men on the condition that he hears about it afterwards—and hears about it from those other men—that condition has to be met

MARCH 18, 2021

THE PHONE JOB for the sex she’s having with other men to be consensual. And while the calls afterwards aren’t a turn-on for his wife, DACUCK, if those calls make it possible for her to sleep with other men and she enjoys doing that, well then, the calls actually are doing something for her too. You’re not obligated to have these conversations with your friend if they make you uncomfortable—because of course you’re not—but if you were to refuse, DACUCK, then your friend might withdraw his consent for you to fuck his wife. Your friend and his wife might be willing to revise these conditions just for you, DACUCKS, so it couldn’t hurt to ask. But if he says no, you don’t get to fuck his wife anymore. Or if he says no and his wife keeps fucking you, well then, she’d cheating on him for real and not “cheating” on him for fun.

Zooming out for a second: you knew this was a turn-on for your friend before you fucked his wife.

You knew he was a cuckold, which means you knew he would be getting off on you fucking his wife, DA-

CUCK, which means you knew he’d be out there somewhere beating off about you and your dick. Even if he didn’t want to hear from you directly afterwards, even if he was pumping the wife for the details, your friendship was sexualized pretty much from the moment he asked you to fuck his wife and you agreed.

So the problem isn’t the sexualization of this friendship or the awareness that this dude is out there beating off about you. The problem is having to listen to him beat off when you get on the phone—or having to see him become visibly aroused when you meet up in person—and there’s a pretty easy workaround for that. (I love a solvable problem!)

Instead of giving him a call after you’ve fucked his wife, use the voice memo app on your phone to record a long, detailed, insult-strewn message after you’ve fucked his wife and send it him. You’ll still get to fuck his wife, he’ll still get to hear about it from you, and you won’t have to listen to him doing what you damn well knew he’d be doing after you fucked his wife, i.e. furiously beating off about you.

I’m a 20-something hetero female living in the South. I’m having trouble with my boyfriend of almost three years. We are very happy together but our sex life is lackluster. The really strange part is that the sex, when we have it, is always good. It’s intense and satisfying. However, getting sex to happen is a challenge. My boyfriend has a lower libido but it’s not a huge discrepancy. I want sex two to three times per week and he wants it maybe once per week. We have compromised on twice a week. However, the sex is routine and banal. It always happens on the same days— Sundays and Wednesdays—and there’s no spontaneity at all, which makes it boring for me. In addition, my boyfriend never initiates. He has a history of being promiscuous—he slept with about 100 women before we were together—and I am completely fine with that. But he has admitted to me that he misses his promiscuous life and that monogamy is difficult for him. He says he loves me and that he wants to make this work. He is the

person I want to marry but I feel like I’m settling sexually. Please help.

—Becoming Annoyed Now About Lovemaking

TUCSONWEEKLY.COM 21

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“Only 19% of people with autism actually live outside of their parents’ home, and less than 10% of people with autism The sex, when you have it, is can hold a job,” she said. “A lot of these intense and satisfying… but routine parents will have to care for their kids for and banal at the same time because the rest of their life, so the divorce rate in there’s no spontaneity. The obvious autism is around 80%.” answer is obvious: If having sex at Another issue that affects parents of the same time and in the same place autistic children, as well as the taxpayers is ruining the intense and satisfying of Arizona, is the need for services such as sex you’re having, BANAL, maybe various forms of therapy, special schools don’t always have sex at the same and help with care. time or in the same place? And since According to Arizona NORML board you’re the initiator and that’s unlike- member AJ Jacobs, who has been working ly to change—turning a cheater into with MAMMA for two years and is the a faithful partner is easier than turn- father of two autistic sons, the cost of that ing a non-initiator into an initiator— care is roughly $120,000 annually per child paid by the state. that means you’re in charge of the Jacobs, an Air Force veteran and former when and the where. You’ve already Arizona state trooper, uses cannabis to treat compromised on having sex twice a pain from a back injury, but he has not been week, which is your low-end preferable to try cannabis on his sons because it is ence and double his preference (so illegal.

But he has seen the positive effects you got the better end of that deal), MMJ can have on kids suffering from and now all you gotta do is initiate autism and hopes to bring disparate groups sex on different days, at different together for sensible legislation. times, and in different places. Easy“It’s gonna take all of us coming togethpeasy. er, giving representatives good science Now for the non-obvious answer, and good information and trying to talk to BANAL: You need to listen to what them,” he said. “And get them to understand your boyfriend is telling you. Mothe fact that we’re just parents that are wantnogamy is difficult for everyone, not ing the best for our children.” just your boyfriend, but some people Aside from his work with NORML, find it more difficult than others. And Jacobs has created a podcast attempting asking someone who finds monoga- to use his law enforcement background my extremely difficult to make a mo- to change perceptions about the “Devil’s nogamous commitment… yeah, that’s medicine.” not a great plan. This isn’t entirely “I’m trying to bring the communities on you; someone whose libido tanks together and educate the cannabis comwhen they’re in a monogamous rela- munity and also educate law enforcement tionship and/or someone who’s way officers,” he said.

As to the bill, Jacobs thinks it was more interested in sex when they’re close to getting the legislative support free to sleep around shouldn’t be it needed, but perceptions about “Reefer making monogamous commitments.

Madness” killed it.

Or not making them yet. Monogamy “We had the House of Representatives might not be right for your boyfriend that came together with bipartisan supat the moment, BANAL, but that port, and we had Senate members as well,” doesn’t mean it won’t be right for he said. “It was 100% there and they just him ever. Just like sex you have to [killed it] based on bad information and schedule might not be right for you bad science.” ■

now, while in your mid-twenties, but that doesn’t mean scheduled/routine/maintenance sex won’t be right for you ever. ■

Jacobs’ podcast can be found at facebook.com/BluetoGreenpodcast. Links to his Instagram page may be found there as well.

mail@savagelove.net More information on MAMMA and its Follow Dan on Twitter @ #cannabis4autism campaign can be found FakeDanSavage. at mammausa.org. savagelovecast.com

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Not Destroyed.

Not Contaminated.

ALUMINUM CANS

40-45¢LB.

Top $$ for Catalytic Converters #1 Beverage Plastics 20¢ LB. WASHERS: $5 - $30 (call for details) BATTERIES: 18¢ - 22¢ LB.

WE BUY

PROPANE TANKS! $5 - $10

We match any LOCAL competitors price!

All Metals, Scrap Cars, Clean Aluminum 30¢-55¢, Old Water Heaters, Dryers, Refrigerators, All Circuit Boards & All Computers/Parts.

Also Non-Working Tablets, Laptops, Cell Phones & Home Electronics

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Mention this Ad to receive advertised prices.

Se Habla

W BUY WE NO OTIVE M O T AU EN OXYG S R O S N E S

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Hours:

Mon - Fri 8:30am - 3:30pm

Closed Sat & Sat *Any Questions Please Call

3818 N. Highway Dr.

We mov to a NEWed LOCATIO N

Tucson AZ 85705

342-4042

$CASH$

For ALL unwanted Cars, Trucks & SUVs Now buying Catalytic converters

Call or text anytime for quote FREE PROFESSIONAL REMOVAL

271-0546

New, Old, Running, or not!

Tucson and surrounding areas

ACROSS Spider-Man villain ___ Octavius 5 Beefeater and Bombay Sapphire 9 Woes 13 Prefix for many Ocean Spray products 14 Oak, in a nutshell?

16 The Big Easy 17 What a pratfall may be done for 20 Communist party systems 21 YouTube count 22 Actress Anne with four Emmy nominations 23 Some theater honors 25 Program followed in Alcoholics Anonymous 31 Proper way to pass 34 Sour-tasting fruit 35 A Stooge 36 What a swish misses 37 Agency HQ’d in Atlanta 40 May day celebrant 41 Bedouin, e.g.

43 Title that translates to “great sage” 1

46 Sing under pressure 49 Talk a big game 50 Change in the Middle

East, say

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Razor handle?

Meet-cute in a romance film, e.g.

3 2021 Super Bowl host city 4 Where we are 5 Mother to the Titans 6 “Rhyme Pays” rapper 7 Doesn’t make it through a lecture, say 8 Honorific from Sanskrit 9 Overruns 10 Movie magnate Marcus 11 Entities with passthrough taxation, briefly 12 Got into the swing?

15 ___ Shute, “A Town Like Alice” novelist 18 Part of a cabinet 19 Vassal’s plot of land 1

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be laid out 61 Apartment listing info 62 Apartment listing info 63 Way to go 64 ___ Scamander, protagonist of “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them” 65 They may be set aside in a collaboration 66 Chuck

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(1972 hit by the Stylistics) 26 Judge of the Bible 27 Proof parts 28 California : palms :: New England : ___ 29 “That’s nonsense” 30 Match before the final 31 Its flag displays a curved dagger known as a khanjar 32 Filmmaker Ephron 33 ___ player 38 It holds water 39 Props, so to speak 42 Something kids often lose 44 Like some glasses

.com

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45 Question one might

ask when looking at a banana taped to the wall 47 ___ contendere 48 ___ McCheese of old fast-food fame 51 Padmé Amidala’s home planet in “Star Wars” 52 Rockefeller Center statue 53 Orchestra section 54 Feature of a creature feature, perhaps 55 Some 57 Cowboys QB-turnedbroadcaster 58 Antarctica’s ___ Sea 59 Let go 60 Part of Italy where Calabria is found

For the latest news and updates

Worship Guide Get The Word Out! To advertise in your local Worship Directory,

Call 520 -797- 4384

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MARCH 18, 2021

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4120 E SPEEDWAY, TUCSON, AZ 85712