London November 2016

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LONDON EDITION November 2016

SAUL MILTON: We’re working with the best of British artists

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KERRY GODLIMAN On what home means

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SLAVES We kill with kindness

City’s digs priciest in the world

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COMPETITION Win a Lenco L-85 player

Capital is fifth for cost of student living @ AMY DENMAN and JAK EDGLEY

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ROMESH RANGANATHAN On his pirate radio days

London is the most expensive city in the world to live in halls and the fifth most expensive overall for students, according to a survey.

Purpose-built student housing in the capital costs an average of $1,600 (around £1,300) a month, according to the World Student Housing Report.

The second most expensive city for halls is New York, which costs an average of about £15 less a month than London. The

capital came in fifth for the cost of living, accommodation and tuition combined, which is an average of more than $3,000 (about £2,500) a month for UK students.

Non-EU international students in London pay about £1,000 a month more than this because they are charged higher tuition fees.

The capital came behind Boston, New York, Chicago and San Francisco for overall costs and was followed by Bristol, where living costs are lower than in London, but pricier than other cities in the UK.

Finding good, affordable housing in London is arduous

Ahmad Jamal Wattoo, SOAS student

Ahmad Jamal Wattoo, 19, an economics and politics undergrad at SOAS, said: ‘Finding good, affordable accommodation in London is an arduous task. As a non-EU international student in London, I am expected to pay soaring international student tuition fees.’

Marcus Roberts, director of student investment and development at Savills, said international students were attracted to the UK and America despite the expense, as they ‘are home to many institutions that appear at the top of the rankings tables’.

SPORT Super League heralds new era in uni rugby

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November 2016

Middlesex students’ union launches new soup kitchen @ Tom Gellatly Middlesex Students’ Union have launched a new soup kitchen on campus to help the homeless and people in poverty living near campus.

The MDX Home Soup Kitchen provides hot meals for the local homeless community and people from a low income background, aswell as haircuts, medical care and legal advice.

The scheme was launched by an event on October 8, which took place on the uni’s Hendon campus.

There are plans for the soup kitchen to run monthly at MDX House.

The initiative is led by the students’ union’s elected Student Officers, and other students from the university.

The vice president of the students’

Middlesex University Students’ Union is committed to working in the local community.

Orla Hillary, Middlesex students’ union

For more London news, go to www. unipaper.co.uk

IN BRIEF

UCL open slave centre

union, Orla Hillary, who is a qualified nurse, organised the sou kitchen’s launch.

She said: ‘Middlesex University Students’ Union is committed to working in the local community to help those that need it most.

Although plans are well underway, we are still looking for volunteers.’

Nursing students from the university are providing medical and mental health support under qualified supervision to soup kitchen visitors, and Middlesex law students will be giving out free legal advice and assistance.

Orla added: ‘Any food that people are willing to donate or make, hairdressers or barbers willing to spend some time using their skills, and clothes you no longer want or need, we would love and appreciate your help.’

UCL have launched a new centre for the study of the Legacies of British Slave-ownership.

The opening of the centre marked the start of the third phase of research tracking how British colonial slavery evolved, and coincides with the expansion of the LBS database.

The centre is turning its focus to working out the extent to which the formation of modern Britain is attributable to its involvement in slavery.

Jasmine Chinasamy

Helping the homeless: (l-r) Orla Hillary and Joe Cox

Beware of burglars Twickenham is the most targeted town

BREAK-IN HOTSPOT

@ Patrick Hollis

Twickenham has been named the ‘number one student burglary hotspot’ in a new survey by MoneySuperMarket.com The south west London town, which houses St Mary’s University, had an average of 33.6 claims per one thousand quotes on home insurance made by students.

Students living in Leeds are the second most likely to be burgled (30.3 cp/1,000q) and Bradford students third (27.2 cp/1,000q).

Consumer affairs expert at

The top student burglary hotspots across the UK are revealed.

Twickenham home to St Mary’s University Leeds home to six universities including the University of Leeds.

Bradford home to the University of Bradford Huddersfield home to the University of Huddersfield.

Egham home to Royal Holloway University of London.

Uxbridge home to Brunel University.

MoneySuperMarket, Kevin Pratt, said: ‘Insurance is unlikely to be a priority for most students - ditto home security for those in halls or lodgings, but burglars and opportunist pilferers are always on the look-out for a soft target, so it’s important students are aware of the risks they face and take steps to protect themselves.

‘In addition, students should be security conscious. So if you live in halls, don’t leave your door unlocked if you go to the kitchen or a friend’s room. If you’re sharing a house, talk to the landlord about fitting sturdy locks on exterior doors and windows, as well as locks on your own bedroom door. And be

cautious about leaving items such as laptops or phones unattended.

‘University is meant to be a time where people gain knowledge and experience of their subject and of the wider world. But it shouldn’t be a place where students have to learn about the misery, inconvenience and cost of being burgled. That’s why being security conscious and having adequate insurance is a vital part of student life.’

The town with the lowest burglary risk was Carmarthen, which houses the University of Wales Trinity Saint David, which had no claims rate. The survey analysed two million home insurance quotes by students on MoneySuperMarket.

Five unis to cure HIV Five UK universities have developed a treatment which could cure HIV. The treatment is being tested on 50 patients and early signs seem optimistic.

The therapy has been developed by the universities of Oxford, Cambridge, Imperial College London, University College London and King’s College London, alongside the NHS. In the new procedure, HIV in dormant cells is first identified before the new drug, Vorinostat, produces viral proteins which proceed to ‘kill’ the cell.

Around 103,700 people in the UK Alice Simmons live with HIV.

Uni makes med mixtape Imperial College London created a Spotify playlist to welcome their student doctors.

The university shared the playlist on their Facebook page to welcome future doctors who have begun their studies at the university. The playlist includes medical themed songs from Dr Beat by Miami Sound Machine to Amy Denman So Sick by Neyo.

King’s keeps the anthem King’s College London has said it has ‘no plans’ to scrap God Save The Queen from its graduation ceremonies.

The statement comes after students’ union officer Mahamed Abdullahi called for the anthem to be scrapped, adding: ‘It’s just a bit s**t’ and ‘It doesn’t even bang’.

CONTACT US EDITORS: JASMINE CHINASAMY, NICOLA CHEW, AHMAD WATTOO AND MAYA JUNDI

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06/10/2016 13:46

News

Cash-strapped mums and dads hit by costs of university life More than two thirds have to cut back on luxuries to help out their children Parents forced to take out loans and go into debt to help their child pay for studies

@ Tom Gellatly It can be shocking to discover how quickly your student loan runs out.

Once you’ve bought your books for the year, splashed out on freshers’ week, joined a load of societies and replaced your holefilled socks, there isn’t loads left.

And when times are tough, for many of us, the bank of mum and dad provides a quick and easy get out, which by-passes expensive payday loans or other potentially risky methods.

But, while the ever-increasing costs for students are well documented in the media, the effect this has on their parents is less well covered.

A recent poll has found 68 per cent of British parents have had to cut back on luxuries to help pay for their children’s higher education.

The Nationwide Building Society survey of more than 1,000 students and parents also revealed 15 per cent of parents borrowed money or went into debt to ensure their children were able to go to university, with 14 per cent taking a second job or delaying early retirement to provide extra funds.

The parents of Justine Jones, a Swansea University medical science and humanities student, found they had to make some small adjustments to pay for their daughter’s education. Her father

University can be an extremely expensive time for parents and students alike

Dan King, Nationwide

Trevor told The University Paper: ‘We’ve had to reduce the amount of holidays and spending money on meals out and clothes but they are luxuries you can live without.

‘We’re in a lucky position that we haven’t had to give up any essentials to allow her to go to university.

‘It’s worth it because I’m supporting my daughter’s education and she understands that.’

Why, though, have thousands of parents had to shell out to fund student life?

Dan King, Nationwide’s head of FlexStudent Current Account, said: ‘University can be an extremely expensive time for parents and students alike and often parents are expected to cover the shortfall, putting them under increased pressure and resulting in tightening their purse strings.

‘For students to manage their own financial situation effectively, they need to understand how finances work and learn to budget, so they can stand on their own two feet.’

In the company’s poll, 30 per cent of students admitted they would rather ask their parents for money than make changes to their lifestyle.

Five per cent would rather withdraw from the bank of mum and dad than sacrifice a night out, and five per cent asked their parents for money rather than spending less on food – but that’s a relatively small number. Justine’s parents

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November 2016

I don’t think the student loan is enough to cover all aspects of university life

IN NUMBERS

Henri Lawrance, University of Edinburgh graduate

per cent of parents have to sacrifice other spending to give their children a higher education

Does more need to be done to help students fund their own way through university? Email your comments to editor@unipaper. co.uk

per cent of parents with under 18 year olds prioritise their children’s university fund, coming above home improvements, cars and hobbies

COLLAGE ILLUSTRATION: MATT WARD

pointed to cuts to benefits and the rise in tuition fees.

Trevor said despite having two daughters who had gone through higher education before Justine, the cost of sending her to university was unexpected.

‘We have two daughters who didn’t need as much support, as more money was available when they were studying, but I didn’t realise how much more my youngest would need with cuts to benefits and it saddens me that she is paying £9,000 a year in fees.’

He added: ‘There is hardly any information available to give an accurate estimate of how much daily living as a student would cost.’

Henri Lawrance, a recent University of Edinburgh graduate, said he sometimes needed help to cover his rent, despite having a parttime job alongside his studies.

He said: ‘I did get a regular small allowance on top of my student loan – I don’t think the student loan is enough to cover all aspects of university life, so I needed a bit of help for rent sometimes.’

Despite this, he is only treating the extra money he asked for as a loan, and was careful to ask for it only when necessary.

‘I do think socialising should come out of your own money,’ he explained.

‘And I also plan to pay all of these cash injections back. Luckily, I was fortunate enough to have the parental bank, as obviously not everyone is.’

Despite Henri’s insistence he would pay back the money, 68 per cent of parents said they would not ask for their loans to be repaid, whereas only three per cent of parents said they would not give their children money while they were at university, as they wanted them to be independent.

Like the majority of mums and dads, Justine’s parents do not expect her to pay them back.

‘It’s our contribution to her education and she pays it back in other ways by always being there for us,’ her mother Joyce said.

‘I do think the government should have a different way of assessing a household’s income as she does not receive enough support and wouldn’t be able to go to university without our help.’

Joyce and Trevor’s prioritising of Justine’s education, and their belief in the importance of being able to help their child go to university, is still an opinion shared by many.

In a recent survey conducted by financial services company Hitachi, 39 per cent of parents with children under 18 years old prioritise their son’s or daughter’s university fund above home improvements, cars and hobbies.

The research, which surveyed 2,325 British parents, also found, while 77 per cent of parents thought university was expensive following the tuition fee rise, 45 per cent would encourage people they know to attend anyway.

Seventeen per cent also felt you cannot put a price on education.

Gerald Grimes, managing director of Hitachi, said: ‘Sending children to university is one of life’s big milestones, so it is fitting that a large number of people with children

PARENTS OF SHEFFIELD HALLAM STUDENT JESS SAID

PARENTS OF SWANSEA STUDENT JUSTINE JONES

Were you worried about the financial pressures of your children going to university?

Were you worried about the financial pressures of your children going to university?

Have you had to make savings in other areas to fund your children’s studies?

Have you had to make savings in other areas to fund your children’s studies?

We knew she’d be able to look after herself. If she needed any help we would help her. If not, she’d be having Pot Noodles!

Not really, she’s sensible with her money and we’d all pull together if she was really struggling. Every now and then we cut down on the food shop but that’s about it.

Do you know what the money you lend is going towards?

Whatever she said it was for, we know that’s what it’d be for.

She’s reliable for her age!

Did you know before your kids went to uni you were going to have to help them out?

We expected it might be tough

think that it is important to save.

‘On average, parents whose kids have been to university gave them £2,000 a year to help them manage university life.

‘University is an investment – you spend now for a payoff later.

Parents who lack the income or

Trevor – I wouldn’t say worried, I’d say anxious about how much it would actually cost me. I didn’t know the cost implications.

Jim and Sue on her and she might need some help. We were never given the opportunity to go to university so it was wonderful to see her excelling and getting a place at university. We knew we’d do anything it took to help out.

Do you expect the money back?

Any money we give to Jess is a helping hand from us. As her parents, it’s our responsibility to make sure she has the best life we can provide. And if university is going to provide that then we’re happy to help whenever we can.

savings to support their child shouldn’t be at a disadvantage or have to worry about getting into heavy debt.’

But after the news that many universities will be raising their fees to £9,250 for the 2017-18 academic year, the financial strain

Joyce – We were ready, my daughter had said since she was in primary school she wanted to go to university but we didn’t know then how little she would receive from the government.

Do you know what the money you lend is going towards?

J – Yes, make-up, clothes and alcohol! No, she does use the money towards bills and food and also towards coming home – the train from her university to here is very expensive.

Did you know before your kids

of putting a child through higher education might be about to get even greater.

And the most recent fee rise is only the beginning.

Projections for the near future suggest that fees could reach as high as £10,000 per academic year

Joyce and Trevor went to university that you were going to have to help them out financially?

J – Yes, but I agree with my husband that we didn’t expect it to be so much, I just wish we could support her more.

per cent of parents think university is expensive

Do you expect the money back?

T – No, I expect her to succeed and gain knowledge in the field she is interested in. I wish I had been able to afford to have the university experience she is having but I came from a time and family where money was scarce and university

within the next few years.

Considering what many parents are already having to give up with fees as they currently are, the bank of mum and dad may become unable to deal with the cost of sending a child to university for too much longer.

per cent of parents would discourage their children from aspiring to university because of the high costs

6|Research

November 2016

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Worm big family: Pambdelurion and the penis worm, inset

Expedition finds ancient beast’s phallic relatives

Hunter ‘had Star Wars monster mouth’ like a penis worm

@ Amy Denman

School of Earth Sciences said: ‘The mouth is a spitting image of the The Cambrian period was a scary Sarlacc from Star Wars.’ time. The sea 520million years Scientists examined new fossils ago was full of creatures such as they found during trips to Greenland the pambdelurion, with its metre- as part of their study, published in long spiky body. the journal Palaeontology.

But just how terrifying things They referred to molecular were for this ancient beast’s prey evidence showing the pambdelurion has just been revealed, as scientists and the aptly-named penis worm have discovered pambdelurion had are both related to modern-day a round, tooth-filled mouth like that arthropods, which include insects, of Star Wars monster Sarlacc. spiders and crabs.

Researchers at the University of Greg Edgecombe, from the Bristol, who teamed up with the Natural History Museum said: Natural History Museum, found ‘What we see in these arthropod the creature had the same mouth as ancestors is the same kind of mouth the modern-day penis worm, which as in penis worms – right down to also lives in the sea. Like Sarlacc, details of the rings of teeth.’ which inhabits a giant, sandy pit and Fletcher Young, who also worked is used by Jabba the Hutt to devour on the study, said: ‘It seems as his enemies, the pambdelurion used if nowhere was safe back in the its tentacles to push prey towards its Cambrian. No matter whether you mouth, which was filled with spiky lived in the water column or on the teeth so nothing could escape. seafloor there was a big, ugly beast Dr Jakob Vinther from Bristol’s that would devour you.’

Tuna are more than a match for the sharks @ Amy Denman

The image we have of sharks as fierce predators is vastly different from the image we have when we think of tuna, which is usually seen as a yummy sandwich filler.

Despite these differences, research from Imperial College London shows the two have much more in common than we might think.

Scientists showed that despite evolving separately for about 400million years, tuna fish and the lamnid group of sharks share a number of similar predatory traits.

These characteristics include their style of swimming, their ability to stay warm and a high metabolism, all of which give the creatures an advantage when it comes to survival.

The researchers said the advantages may be the reason these characteristics had been passed down through the creatures’

Something fishy: Sharks share genes with tuna

generations. The researchers looked at muscle samples from three species of lamnid shark and six species of tuna to examine the genes.

Study co-author Prof Vincent Savolainen from the Department of Life Sciences at Imperial said: ‘Lamnid sharks and tuna both have stiff bodies and tails that allow them

to swim in bursts. They can also keep their temperature up in colder waters.

‘Both of these things make them more effective predators, allowing them to snatch prey in usually inhospitable waters.

‘These are simple traits, and ones that have evolved twice.

They give us a great point to start

really examining the underlying genetics and understanding the relationship to physical traits.’

The gene found in both types of fish that causes their high metabolism and an ability to create energy, was said by researchers to be identical.

The team of researchers said their findings about the shared metabolism traits between the two species of fish could help future studies to understand the relationship between genetics and physical traits.

Currently it is difficult for scientists to link a single gene such as metabolism to physical traits because gene expression can vary within different individuals.

By looking at examples of the same gene used in two different animals, scientists will be given important clues as to how the expression of a gene links to a physical trait.

IN BRIEF

Self-clean surfaces are on their way

Wiping down kitchen surfaces can be a chore. How great would it be if your kitchen cleaned itself?

Luckily, researchers from Northumbria and Nottingham Trent universities have taken the initial steps towards making selfcleaning surfaces.

They were the first to capture what happens when a spilt liquid retracts into a bead or drop, known as ‘dewetting’, by sending electrical impulses through liquids to change how they behaved.

They hope their observations will lead to new lines of research on self-cleaning surface coatings.

Lungfish Universe has no direction leaves its mark A fish out of water is not always a bad thing – one species has even been found to leave ‘footprints’.

Lungfish are known for their land-dwelling abilities, such as being able to breathe air and move on land, but a study has shown the fish could have more in common with landlubbers than previously thought. The species, which evolved to move on land more than 360million years ago, uses its body to crawl from pond to pond during dry seasons.

Research conducted by lecturers from Liverpool John Moores and California State University proves the lungfish can leave tracks when moving, similar to land animals’ footprints. These tracks would have previously been mistaken for that of land animals.

Dr Falkingham said: ‘This study could have much broader implications for palaeontologists and biologists.’

Scientists from Imperial College London and UCL have found it is highly probable that the universe is the same wherever you go.

Researchers used cosmic radiation to compare the shape of our universe to how it would look if it was spinning on several axes or stretching in one direction.

They found there was just a 1 in 121,000 chance the universe was not uniform.

Cloth of the future here A Nottingham Trent University PhD student has created a cloth that could advance clothing technology.

Sonia Reynolds invented Zephlinear, the first non-woven material made of yarn, which is interlaced on the surface so the fibres do not cross each other.

Its structure means it could be embedded with scent or medicine, or used to carry LEDs. ‘This is a real breakthrough for the textiles industry,’ Sonia said.

Acne could make sufferers look younger for longer ‘Th’ to vanish Test shows people with spots age better @ Amy Denman

If being a spotty teenager has ever had a positive outcome, this is it.

Acne sufferers’ skin will more likely take longer to age, a King’s College London study has found.

Researchers tested 1,205 twins from the TwinsUK register, a quarter of whom had reported experiencing acne in their lives.

They used statistical analysis

Zit zap: Spots defeat age

to look at the length of telomeres – compounds at the end of chromosomes which break down and shrink as cells age.

The results showed of those who reported experiencing acne had longer telomeres in their white blood cells.

The longer the telomere lasts, the longer your skin wards off signs of aging, such as wrinkles.

The theory has long been noted by dermatologists, but it was suggested this was caused by increased oil production. However, the study

shows other factors are likely to be involved, such as chemical reactions in cells.

Lead author of the study, Dr Simone Ribero from the Department of Twin Research and Genetic Epidemiology at King’s said: ‘For many years, dermatologists have identified the skin of acne sufferers appears to age more slowly than in those who have not experienced any acne.

‘While this has been observed in clinical settings, the cause of this was previously unclear.

‘Our findings suggest the cause could be linked to the length of telomeres which appears to be different in acne sufferers and means their cells may be protected against ageing.

‘By looking at skin biopsies, we were able to begin to understand the gene expressions related to this.

‘Further work is required to consider if certain gene pathways may provide a base for useful interventions.’

The research was based on female twins only.

from speech

Linguists from the University of York have predicted accents we are familiar with today will die out.

The report shows the rise in interaction with machines through speech will change the way in which we speak by 2066, meaning ‘th’ as in ‘the’ will be one of many sounds to disappear.

Changes over the next 50 years also include the shortening of words and simplification of pronunciations.

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Comment

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November 2016

Want to have your say about a current event? Email your comment to editor@unipaper.co.uk

It would be tough to get through uni without taking part in a secret operation or two to protect the integrity of yourself, and the housemates you actually get on with, from ‘the others’. Here TUP reporters and editors reveal their secrets...

This month’s question:

What are the biggest cover-ups you’ve had between your mates?

I’ll be honest... it was all my faulty Rachel Foy, University of Salford

You’re taking the p**s!

Rosie Davidson, University of Sheffield editor

What a melon my housemate is Anna Harrison, Cardiff University

My bin raiding housemate Immy White, Newcastle University editor

We had been living in our accommodation for about a week and a half and everything seemed fine... until I got a case of the ‘dropsies’.

I had already broken a dish and a plate of my own, but when I decided to do use the iron I dropped that as well and frayed the wire.

I decided not to tell my flatmate and went along with her assumption that the iron was just faulty.

Luckily, at the end of the year when we moved out, we got our full deposit back and she still doesn’t know how the iron actually broke.

We were forced to hide girlfriend from landlord

My friend Alice was visiting her boyfriend in Leeds for a night out at a pub, which as we all know can end up being a heavier night than expected.

The contactless cards were being swiped and the pints were flowing, but before they knew it, the time had come to call it a night. So they all stumbled home to their new student digs.

At her boyfriend’s new student house, Alice proceeded to get absolutely birthday suit fabulous naked in a bed, which was fine, but it was not her boyfriend’s bed, it was Alex’s. Alice was later retrieved by her boyfriend and put back into the correct bed.

The next day, Alice got a text informing her there was a p**s-drenched towel on the floor of Alex’s room. The house and most importantly Alex will never know who the culprit was.

An extra furry housemate

A very tolerant friend

Shona Nicholson, Northumbria University

Student halls are notoriously small.

Usually you get a room you can hardly move in and the kitchen is big enough for two people, not eight.

So when my flatmate consulted the flat about having ten guests over for a weekend, we were apprehensive. The rule in our halls was one guest per student a month and they had to be checked in at reception, so we all had to keep the gathering a secret.

The guests were loud when they were sober and they became even worse once they’d had a few. Crockery was broken, a window handle came off, blinds were ripped off the wall and our iron was thrown out the window. A watermelon was kicked from one end of the corridor to the other and smashed all over the wall and carpet. It wasn’t cleaned up until weeks later.

Midnight snacks at our roomies’ expense

My housemate once had the late night nibbles, so she decided to go on the hunt.

She sniffed around her room but she couldn’t find anything. An old packet of crisps was not up to scratch and the lingering taste of cheese and onion left her wanting more.

Later that night, I found her sitting in the dark corner of the kitchen scoffing down a pizza which she had salvaged from the depths of our kitchen rubbish bin.

I turned the lights on and I had caught a rabbit in the headlights, mid munch. She stopped and suppressed a giggle.

The episode has yet to be mentioned. I am waiting for the moment when the pizza hunter strikes again.

Hopefully next time she will be caught by one of our eight new housemates.

He needed toilet off some steam

Louisa Kendal, University of Bristol editor

Sam Nathan, University of York

My housemate moved his girlfriend into our house until she found a new place. However, she never moved out.

We had to hide it from our landlord. It caused so much friction we would avoid each other and would often be confined to our bedrooms as we felt we were living in their marital home. We brought up the idea of his girlfriend moving out as she didn’t contribute to the rent but unfortunately we were made to look like horrible friends, so we never brought it up again.

The estate agents found out after an inspection of the property and told us we were liable for a hefty fine.

We risked a lot, just so we could keep our housemate happy. Despite this he wasn’t very appreciative of what we did for him. We no longer live or have any contact with him.

Launch Night

Fri.04.Nov Allan Rayman Courage Ralph Hardy

Despite the fact our tenancy agreement clearly stated we were not allowed pets under any circumstances, one of my housemates decided to buy a hamster.

However the hamster wasn’t a cute hamster, it was a huge, fat, ginger hamster which absolutely stank and used to wee all over the living room when she let it roam around in its little hamster ball. She even used to let it wander freely over the sofas while we were eating.

We had to pretend to the landlord that we didn’t know about the hamster for ages, until we came up with a plan to get someone else to tell the landlord on our behalf. The worst part was, when the landlord came around to confront her, she completely flipped out and hid the hamster at her boyfriend’s.

The running trend throughout my second year was drunkenly eating leftovers and leaving suspiciously emptier Tupperware boxes for the owners to find in the morning.

In our drunken state, my housemate and I thought we had eaten the optimum amount so they wouldn’t notice. However the angry messages on the group chat which greeted us the next morning proved otherwise.

Our way of denying the accusations would be to vouch for our attempts to be vegetarian. We would say: ‘Of course we wouldn’t eat your beef bolognese, do you not know how bad meat is for the environment?’

To be fair, we were actually trying to be vegetarian at the time so the alibi was foolproof. But who can resist a bowl of chilli and cheese at 4am after a long night on the tiles?

My friend got back from a night out and he was drunk, angry and needed a wee.

Our toilets didn’t always work because we lived by a river, so they often overflowed, and he couldn’t use it that night as it was broken at the time. This made him angrier, so he stamped on the lid until it broke into pieces.

He left the pieces on the kitchen table, and when we all woke up we were really baffled.

We soon realised it must have been him because it’s the kind of thing he always does. We knew we had to hide the evidence so our landlord didn’t find out, so we hid all the toilet lid pieces in cupboards around our house for the rest of the year. We got our deposit back.

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Your Life

11

Students reveal their unique experiences at university. Email editor@unipaper.co.uk to tell your story

Club glassing ripped my eyelid Hannah Wood, 22, had her life changed after a bottle hit her on a night out and now wants glass to be banned from clubs

M

Y friends and I don’t like to get involved in trouble when we go out. It was the same that night when an argument started in a club, near where we were standing.

I had just started my first year at Edinburgh Napier University, studying product design. I was on a night out with friends near my home town of Livingston.

A group of people were arguing next to us and at one point, one of them pushed me out of the way.

We all thought that was the end of the hassle.

Next thing I know I was knocked to the ground and it felt like I had been elbowed in the face.

But then I put my hand up to my face and realised I couldn’t open my eyes. My finger went into a cut on my face and the blood was pouring down my arm.

I thought to myself ‘oh my god this is actually quite bad’. I was concussed at this point and finding

Recovery: Hannah in hospital

it hard to stay conscious, but my friends hadn’t seen what had happened to me.

My body started going into shock and it was dark and confusing. I think people around me thought I was drunk and struggling to get back up – my friend was kicking my leg and telling me to get up.

I couldn’t speak to ask for help so I started pulling at her leg. When she saw my face she was shocked.

She managed to pick me up and walk me over to a nearby bench.

The DJ called first aid to come and check me over and they put a bandage around my head to stop the bleeding but I began to pass out.

The next thing I know I was carried into a room in the club. At this point, every time I tried to open my eyes it was unbearable because the glass has punctured my left eye and there were still pieces of glass stuck in my eyelid.

About 20 minutes later I was in an ambulance and I was taken to St John’s A&E. At the hospital they tried to take the glass out of my eye while I was awake by holding me and using tweezers. The specialist came to visit me and told me the muscle in my eye had torn in half.

I was taken to the Royal Edinburgh Hospital for an emergency operation.

I spent a week recovering in the Princess Alexandra Eye Pavilion – one of my lecturers had found out what happened and contacted my parents. My lecturer reassured

November 2016

I was angry I had no justice

Hannah Wood

Do you have a story to tell about your time at university?

Email editor@ unipaper.co.uk

Grit: Hannah got through uni despite her injuries

me that I didn’t need to drop out of university.

I loved my degree and I was so proud that I managed to secure a place, so I wasn’t going to miss out on the opportunity to study there.

It didn’t settle in my mind what had happened to me for a while, I took things day by day. I would go to uni with stitches in my head and a big plastic shield over my eye.

There were days when I would sit and I would ball my eyes out. I felt it looked like I had a dead fish eye.

While I was studying I had operations and the court case to juggle too. There was CCTV of what happened, but it was poor quality and it was dark in the club.

There were bottles thrown by different people and you couldn’t see who threw the bottle that hit me.

I was angry I had no justice.

When I was doing my final project I realised I had symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder and started to get counselling.

Now I’ve graduated I want to start a campaign to get glasses banned in clubs, because you are essentially putting a weapon in someone’s hand when you hand over a glass in a bar.

What’s On

13

The Lowdown

November 2016

K

@ Henry Edwards

P18 & 19

CHASE & STATUS Share exciting new acts

SLAVES Show their wild side

P23

ROMESH RANGANATHAN On travels with his mum

ERRY GODLIMAN is questioning her place in the world. In her new stand-up show Stick Or Twist, she ponders relocating, as well as life’s other big decisions – and it’s led to some soul searching.

The lifelong Londoner started off asking whether she should leave the capital and live somewhere else.

‘That’s the starting point, but it’s interesting how a show evolves,’ she tells me. ‘It expands to more than geography.

‘It’s about whether you should stick or twist with anything – does your geographical identity carve your own identity, am I a bit wedded to living in London? I grew up in London and

enjoyed it, but I don’t know anything else. You think “are my kids going to grow up here?”

‘It’s the time to consider it because my daughter’s going to high school and I’ve not lived anywhere else.’

But she’s wary of being drawn into property websites where you can fantasise about potential new lives just by typing in a postcode.

‘One minute you could be living in a super-urban home and another minute you could be in a yurt in Wales,’ she says.

‘You’re having to wrestle with whether something is a true desire.’

As an actor, Godliman is probably best known for her roles in Derek and Our Girl. She had the chance to move away from London for her training, earning a place at drama

ON TOUR Oct 15 Glasgow, Oran Mor Oct 26 Edinburgh, The Stand Oct 27 Leeds, The Wardrobe Oct 29 Newcastle, The Stand

school in Scotland, but the relative ease of finding parts in the capital kept her there.

‘I bottled it,’ she says. ‘I realised if I wanted to have a go at being an actor, I’d have to live in London.’

She ended up at Rose Bruford College in south east London, which she describes as ‘a lovely college’.

‘I really enjoyed the course and the group of friends I built up,’ she says.

‘I was also really enthusiastic about socialising,’ she adds wryly.

‘I think when you’re doing something in the arts you can justify it – it’s all networking and character development.’

She has stayed friends with many of her coursemates into their 40s.

‘It’s interesting watching how people go into different branches of

the profession,’ she says.

‘There are people I went to college with who are children’s entertainers or work in teaching – different things open up, not just acting.’

She chose her course partly because it was a BA, which back then meant a student grant – she describes the financial burden of university now as ‘terrifying’.

‘At some point I want my kids to be students and for all kids to have that opportunity,’ she adds.

It’s not a fear her latest character is likely to share – she has finished filming for Sky 1’s Carters Get Rich, due on screen next year, in which she plays the mum of an 11-year-old who sells his app for millions.

‘It was a lovely job – a really warm script and very funny,’ she says.

Should I stay or go?

Comedian Kerry Godliman talks roots, property porn and tuition fee injustice

P26 & 27

P33

P25

HONNE Discuss on-tour beds

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The Lowdown

15

November 2016

Hello

OVERHEARD ON CAMPUS

from The University Paper You will have heard a lot of patronising rubbish about being a “typical” student.

We don’t all wallow in our own filth, unable to pick up a pair of socks without mum and dad around to nag us.

We don’t all get so drunk we can barely see.

We’re not all lazy and, my god, we don’t all survive on a diet of baked beans on toast and Pot Noodles.

There are no “typical” students. Yes, a lot are messy, yes a lot get drunk and, yes, a lot of us eat beans on toast and Pot Noodles.

But just as many are health conscious, loads clean up and millions are excellent chefs.

Take a look at the societies on offer. Is a person in the baking society, rustling up a Croquembouche during the day before heading home and

cracking open a tin of Heinz’s finest to pour on a slice of white bread from Warburtons?

I doubt it.

Mostly, it’s the difference between everyone that defines university life.

If you’re into rugby, great. If you prefer battle reenactments, great.

When you’re living with people from all over the country, with different backgrounds and stories to tell, you mature into a wellrounded person.

In this house hunting special, we’ve got loads to offer, no matter what you’re into.

We’ve chatted to drum and bass pioneers Chase & Status about their own uni experience (pp18-19), punk duo Slaves about shaving heads (p23) and comedian Romesh Ranganathan about his mid-

Can’t stand people who don’t know how to order in Subway.

Stop trying to get salad at the cheese station. FFS

University of Manchester

When you clean a vacuum cleaner, you become a vacuum cleaner

University of London, Birkbeck

I’ve got bruised rubs from my mattress University of Liverpool The moment in between Netflix episodes when you see your reflection in the black screen and wonder what the f**k you’re doing with your life

University of London, City

Dynamic duo: We talked to Slaves about throwing parties

life gap year experience – with his mum (pp26-27).

Elsewhere, we guide you though the house hunting process with top tips from a housing expert (p37).

Plus we’ve got the latest on

the exciting new university rugby league which will be hitting our screens and campuses soon (p47).

So, put on the kettle, fill the water to the line, add a sachet of soy sauce and enjoy a

lovely chicken and mushroom Pot Noodle with this month’s paper... or maybe not.

Much love

The TUP team

When a girl introduces herself as ‘Ketty Katie’ you know she’s a keeper #KeepItClassy

Northumbria University

An octopus is just a wet spider.

OMG Swansea University Rating an Uber driver one star because he spent the whole journey explaining why he was a Trump supporter

Leeds Beckett University

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Freshers tip – just pee in your sink so you don’t have to walk down the hall in your underwear in the night Bath Spa University

EDITORIAL

Shout out to the girls who text first. Love you Mum

Editor-in-chief: Sam Murray sam.murray@unipaper.co.uk Deputy editor: Clare Hardy clare@unipaper.co.uk Sub editor: Amy Denman amy@unipaper.co.uk Online sub editor: Tom Gellatly tom.g@unipaper.co.uk

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You can tell they’re first year when they’ve got their uni pass around their f*****g like they’re about to lose it University of Birmingham “On my gap year I went to Malawi and it completely changed my profile picture”

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Sometimes I wonder how many people so far have seen me naked through my windows. Then I wonder if I care

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DESIGN

Art editor: Matt Ward matt.ward@unipaper.co.uk

Just made a pie and ate the entire thing. Now all I can taste is regret, loneliness, and a good deal of self-loathing

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by The Uni Paper Ltd, at the address above, and printed by Newsquest, Oxford. We distribute 200,000 copies in 16 cities. We’re committed to putting errors right.

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MUSIC If you find standup boring, The Boy With Tape On His Face may be the kind of act you’ve been looking for.

New Zealand comedian and mime artist Sam Wills, who appeared on America’s Got Talent this year, will have you laughing without even opening his mouth – he can’t, he’s got tape on it.

The comedian uses household props to put his own spin on ventriloquism, bringing oven gloves and aprons to life for a bit of a giggle.

See The Boy With Tape On His Face at Shaw Theatre on Friday, November 18 and Sunday, November 20.

COMEDY Catherine Tate is bringing her comedy to the stage. ‘Am I bothered?’ I hear you ask, well yes you are in fact, because the comedian is pretty hilarious.

From the racist granny with the shrieking cackle and south London accent, to the incompetent Irish nurse who has been close to get the sack on more than one occasion, all of Tate’s best known characters from her award winning television series will be reincarnated in brand new sketches, which are guaranteed to

November 2016

give you a laugh.

Tate’s hilarious standup will leave you quoting her famous catch phrases for weeks on end.

Catch The Catherine Tate Show Live at The Hammersmith Apollo on Sunday, November 13 and Monday, November 14.

MUSIC Chart topping indie band Bastille are bringing their upbeat tunes on tour this autumn and you can expect nothing less than bags of energy.

Tracks from their second album Wild World are just as catchy as breakthrough track Pompeii, which saw them to chart success in 2013.

And to think lead singer Dan Smith originally wanted to be a film critic.

Combining indie with classic dance tracks and an uplifting summer vibe, these guys have mastered the perfect style of music for the kind of performance guaranteed to have you singing and dancing all night.

See Bastille at The O2 arena on Tuesday, November 1 and Wednesday, November 2.

MUSIC This indie band have had an amazing year, from festival touring across the

UK to releasing their EP. Scouse fourpiece Clean Cut Kid are bringing their good vibes and strong beard game to the stage and are touring the UK this autumn.

Performing tracks from their latest EP, this fourpiece have the sound, the look and the attitude to guarantee you will be on your feet all night long.

After performing at 29 festivals this summer these guys are in demand, so catch them before they hit the big time and ticket prices go up.

See Clean Cut Kid at Dingwalls on Wednesday, October 26.

For more London entertainment and music news, go to www.unipaper. co.uk

COMEDY Comedian Jimmy Carr’s gags have, on the odd occasion, landed him in a bit of hot water.

He’s got a gloriously wicked brain and he definitely won’t mind sharing some of his rude and lewd thoughts in his new The Best Of, Ultimate, Gold, Greatest Hits Tour.

Trust us when we say this is not for the easily offended.

Get ready to chuckle along with Carr’s distinctive laugh as he performs all the best jokes from his career, with a few fresh gags added into the mix.

The 8 Out Of 10 Cats presenter’s witty one-liners and innuendos will have you guffawing – or at least gasping in shock.

See him in action at Hackney Empire on Tuesday, November 1.

Scruffy Scousers: Clean Cut Kid will perform in London this month

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Student band of the month

17

November 2016

If you would like to write for The University Paper, please email editor@unipaper.co.uk

Glastonbury is the target Each month we introduce you to the best new musicians from the UK’s campuses. This time we chat to tropical rockers Voodoo And The Crypts, who met at the British and Irish Modern Music Institute... s**t really: Break-ups, being happy, getting f****d over, How would you describe bit of everything. Our music your music? has a positive, chilled vibe, We would say it has a pretty but with sort of darker tones. tropical vibe. Easy to listen to, indie, sort of jangly riffs How did you come up with and music that just makes your name? you want to dance.

It took us a while to find something that stuck. We Who are your major liked the ‘And The’ idea, it influences? sticks out a bit more. The The 1975 are a big influence Voodoo part came from for us, they’re a huge band.

Voodoo Ray, the acid house But The Stone Roses and tune by A Guy Called Gerald. even some Latin music at the We listen to that before nights moment. out quite a lot.

Crypts was just from a list Who are your favourite of words that we thought artists right now? sounded cool. It sounds a It would have to be Tame bit dark when you hear the Impala, Disciples, Disclosure name and not the music but and dance music in general. people who have seen us live often point out our lyrics are If you could do a quite dark like Joy Division collaboration with one and The Cure, but the music band or artist, who would is very melodic and hooky you pick and why? which gives it that contrast.

It’d be great to get in the The name suits that. studio with someone like Chet Faker – we listen to his Where do you want to be in album a lot, he could bring ten years’ time? great harmonies and that Hopefully headlining crisp production. It’d also Glastonbury, or something on be mad to get legends like that level. We guess just still Lee ‘Scratch’ Perry or Paul together, doing what we’re Oakenfold who’ve remixed already doing and selling loads of the bands that we great records. like.

Where is one place you’d What are the main topics of really like to play live? your songs?

That’s a really good question actually. Well... Rio de Girls! Haha, just normal life

@ Katura Barrows

Doo-ing it: Voodoo And The Crypts (l-r) guitarist Jordan Woolnough, drummer Sam Webb, singer and guitarist Matt Mitchell and bassist Rob Davies

Janeiro would have to be up there! Tokyo would be pretty cool to play, but really like most people we’d just like to play everywhere and have fans all over.

What are you working on right now?

New music all the time. Our songwriting is getting a lot better. We’d say our output is more than the average band, we’re always practising and making new music.

What do you enjoy to do as a band outside of music?

We get up to all sorts. We love throwing shapes at 80s club nights in Brighton – you can’t beat vibing out to some 80s classics! If we’ve got nothing to do we’ll go for a kick about or have a game of FIFA. A lot of the time our main focus is on writing new tunes though.

We love throwing shapes at 80s club nights in Brighton

Voodoo And The Crypts

If you had one philosophy your band lived by, what would it be?

We don’t really have a philosophy or a band ‘code’, we just get a massive buzz off writing tunes together and then showing other people.

We have loads of faith in the stuff we’re writing so it’s just getting it into people’s ears, making ‘em wanna dance and have a good time.

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The Interview

We nurture the best Brit talent Chase & Status’ Saul on ditching uni, new artists and linking up with Tom Grennan

Find us at Buchanan Galleries and Silverburn

Lingerie • Nightwear • Accessories bouxavenue.com

Gaining Gainingstatus: status:Saul, Saul,left, left,with withWill Will Kennard, Kennard,right, right,and andTom TomGrennan Grennan

19

November 2016

S

@ Tom Gellatly WAPPING books for basslines may have paid off for Chase & Status’ Saul Milton, but he’s trying to persuade me this is not always a great idea.

‘Don’t necessarily do what we did, which was drop out of uni and pack it all in,’ he says. ‘That worked for us but it might not work for everyone.’

For those who do decide to sacrifice their degree in favour of a music career, Milton has this advice: ‘It’s mainly about self-belief – believe in what you’re doing, be genuine about it, make music from the heart and don’t make music by numbers to try and get it on the radio.’

If anyone knows best it’s Chase & Status. Milton (Chase) and Will Kennard (Status), who tour with frontman MC Rage, have been at the forefront of innovation on the drum and bass and dubstep scenes for more than ten years, and show no sign of slowing down.

‘The fact we are where we are right now, with all our fans, we know we’re very blessed and we don’t take that for granted,’ Milton tells me. ‘We’re very honoured to be where we are.’

Milton reflects on their time in Manchester, which continued after he left Manchester Met and Kennard dropped out of the University of Manchester.

‘We’ve been friends since 1997 but we met up again at uni,’ Milton says. ‘Then we dropped out of what we were doing to pursue this.

‘But we still liked the student life in Manchester. We lived there for six years, and our studio was next

to Future Cut, who at the time had just recorded this song called Smile with this unknown girl called Lily Allen. It was a great place for us to learn what we are doing now.’

The name dropping doesn’t stop there, as the duo have worked with plenty of big acts, including Plan B, Rihanna and Example.

In their latest collection of tunes, they continue the trend by collaborating with the freshest faces on the British music scene.

‘We’ve been working with lots of new, exciting talent – the best of the British, as we like to do,’ Milton says.

Their new single, When It All Goes Wrong, features promising new talent, singer-songwriter Tom Grennan. ‘We’re really excited to let the world know

was quite left-field to have spoken word over our music, but it was different and that’s what we strive for,’ Milton says.

‘There is too much music out there that sounds like other stuff, so we try and avoid that and hopefully do things our own way.’

I ask which of their many collaborations with other artists Milton has most enjoyed within the past year. ‘It’s impossible to pick – also I’ll get beaten up if I do,’ he laughs. ‘They’ve all been amazing.

Slaves are very interesting, intelligent guys, and their music is so 1970s punk.

‘They’re the loveliest boys ever – they’re vegans and they’re really into this new health and environment wave, which you wouldn’t necessarily expect after

We like to work with people who sound like no one else and have a real original flair – that’s what we love about him,’ Milton says. ‘Tom is a really interesting act – he’s up for whatever, he’s really open-minded which goes a long way in this industry.’

Grennan is one of a many collaborators to feature on the new album, Milton reveals.

‘We like to work with people who sound like no one else and have a real original flair,’ he adds.

‘That’s what we love.

‘When we worked with Maverick Sabre in 2011, I was like “I’ve heard no one like him, we’ve got to get him in the studio!” It was the same with Tempa T, and now with George The Poet.’

Spoken-word-meets-rap artist George The Poet features on one of Chase & Status’ new singles, fittingly titled Spoken Word. ‘It

hearing their raucous music.

‘Novelist, too. He’s only 19, but for me he’s a real voice of the youth, a real street poet for them.

‘He’s a really important artist, just how Dizzee Rascal was in the early 2000s, and I think Novelist will speak to his generation in a similar way.’

I ask which of the artists on the More Than Alot label Chase & Status founded in 2009 Milton is currently most excited about.

'Dimension and 1991, who I’d say are two flagship artists for us.

‘They’re both making some of the most exciting d‘n’b out there ‘Also, Will and I would be lost without our frontman MC Rage.’

MC Rage will, as ever, be with the duo on their six-date UK tour, which starts

in Glasgow on November 19 and ends in London on November 26.

‘What’s nice about this one is we usually go on really long tours, like three weeks, with 20 dates and no sleep,’ Milton says. ‘We’ve brought it back a little on this one.

‘We’re really excited for the Alexandra Palace show in London, which we’ve sold out, and we’re excited to go back to Manchester.’

The sold out hometown date shows how popular Chase & Status have remained through their shifting musical style – their sound was grimier than ever on their 2015 EP London Bar and Milton tells me their fourth album contains ‘loads of stuff across the board’.

Some fans have even labelled the duo pioneers of d‘n’b and dubstep.

‘It’s flattering,’ Milton says.

‘How could I not say that means a lot? It’s a real honour to be spoken of like that.

‘The scene we’re from has been bubbling over for many years and it is incredibly strong – we couldn’t be more passionate about it.’

‘We’re incredibly fortunate in that we’ve been able to take it to the masses and appeal to a wider audience. I’d be remiss if I told you all of it was planned, because it definitely wasn’t,’ he laughs.

‘I do believe if an artist makes music with the purpose of charting or getting on the radio then it won’t work. You’ve got to be authentic and genuine. I think if you do that as an artist in any field then, please god, you’ll be successful.’

But he adds it’s not just about fervour and talent, but persistence.

‘Good music will prevail, and that’s all everyone wants to hear,’ he says. ‘These days the door is wide open.’

TEN MINUTES WITH TOM GRENNAN As Tom Grennan greets me I instantly recognize his voice from the gruff, soulful vocals on Chase & Status’ single All Goes Wrong.

The 21-year-old was thrown in the deep end by his collaboration with drum and bass duo Will Kennard and Saul Milton.

‘My first show with them was Wireless, which was 55,000 people – I hadn’t done a show with bloody more than 200 people before that,’ the singer-songwriter laughs.

Despite Grennan's initial nerves, the performance proved a success as fans praised the set, with many saying on Twitter that it made the festival.

However, the indie-soul singer also credits BT Sport's use of When It All Goes Wrong for contributing to the warm reception.

‘When it hit the BT Sport advert it got big,’ he says. ‘I could hear people in the crowd singing it back to us at that point, and hopefully now it’s out, the response at gigs will be mad.’

It wasn't long ago the artist from Bedford was performing to housemates in his uni halls.

‘I was at St Mary’s in Twickenham and I was just doing my bit, just going around with a

guitar and trying to do as many gigs as possible,’ he tells me. ‘In my third year I ended up getting a bit of interest from different labels, and my publisher sorted out a session with Will Kennard, AKA Status, because the pair heard one of my songs. And from then we just vibed out and created All Goes Wrong – it was a bit mad.’

‘At first, obviously I was, not scared exactly, but I was like “s**t!”’ Grennan laughs.

‘I was going in to make music with people I was listening to when I was in upper school and I

was a big fan of them. To work with them in a studio was mad. But nah, it’s all worked out well now at least.’

Although the Chase & Status collaboration has helped to launch Grennan into the limelight, the singer now plans to fly the dubstep duo’s nest to pursue his solo career. ‘It’s really exciting,' he says. 'I’m not sure whether I’m gonna do a couple of EPs first, and then obviously an album as well, but it’s exciting. ’ Grennan is releasing his first EP on October 28 and plans to singlehandedly take on the open road.

‘I’ve got my first headline show on November 10 at The Slaughtered Lamb in London and a few other dates,’ he says. ‘Hopefully after Christmas I’ll be going out on the road, just me and my guitar. I’ll play every little show I can get really.’

Tom Gellatly

ON TOUR Nov 19 Glasgow, O2 Academy Nov 20 Newcastle, O2 Academy Nov 22 Manchester, O2 Apollo Nov 24 Birmingham, O2 Academy Nov 25 Portsmouth, Guildhall Nov 26 London, Alexandra Palace

For more music news, go to www.unipaper. co.uk

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The Interview

Rome Rude boy do Romesh Ranganathan remembers his student days listening to rap and MCing on his pirate radio show

I

@ John Shaw

WAS a proper wannabe rude boy,’ comedian Romesh Ranganathan tells me, chuckling at himself.

The 38-year-old is reminiscing about his time studying maths and economics at Birkbeck in London and throughout our conversation he is self-deprecating, almost to a fault, considering he is one of Britain’s most in-demand comics.

‘I was really pathetic,’ he continues.

‘I did MCing and we ran a pirate radio station from our bedrooms.

‘You know people trying to be rebels? It was sort of like that, we thought we were cool.

‘I reckon we must have had about four listeners before we disbanded.’

Still laughing, he tells me he had posters of rappers on his wall, adding: ‘I had a Nike cap on, Jordans.

‘Obsessed with trainers, baggy clothes. All that crap.’

But, unfortunately for him, his gangster style didn’t protect him against the odd prank.

He tells me: ‘When I was in first year I was in halls of residence.

‘You know you have a shared bathroom and toilet?

‘Some of my mates came in and put curry sauce down the inside of the toilet so it looked like someone had used it.

‘Then they knocked on the doors of everyone else and told everyone that I was the one who did it but was too embarrassed to say.

‘So when I came out and saw it, I said I didn’t know how this had happened, but no-one believed me –

it was horrendous.’

Once out of uni, and presumably with his Run-DMC look behind him, he put his degree to use, first going into finance (which he didn’t find rewarding enough) and then into teaching secondary school children, which he looks back on with fondness despite some challenging circumstances.

‘I taught at two schools,’ he tells me. ‘I taught at a really nice school and I was head of sixth form there and then I thought I wanted to do something a bit more challenging.

‘So I went to a school that had just come out of special measures and took over the sixth form there.

‘It was really difficult. The kids were really hard to even get sat down in lessons, but they had really difficult backgrounds so you couldn’t really blame them.

‘They had such difficult home lives so if they were playing up at school you’d think “I totally get it – they’ve not got any structure at home”.

‘It was difficult and challenging, but you wouldn’t get upset about it because you’d think “I’m glad you’re at school in the first place”.’

He describes himself as being ‘OK’ in front of the children but adds: ‘Every other aspect of the job I was appalling at, it was pretty bad.

‘I did really like it but I was terrible at paperwork and staying organised. They are constantly moving the goal posts of what is expected.’

While still teaching maths, he would test out his material at his dad’s pub, where he ran a monthly stand-up night.

Once the children heard about it though, they flocked to watch Mr

The Interview

o t n a f a f d r e u r s a d d w e W ed cro k a n

esh done good Slaves’ Isaac Holman on loyalty, Twitter trolls and why he doesn’t host parties

A

@ Amy Denman

S TWO animal lovers from ‘the garden of England’ who follow the cricket and enjoy a bit of vegan sushi, Slaves may not sound like the wildest of guys.

But co-frontman Isaac Holman is telling me how the Kent punks gave their lighting guy an impromptu head shave at a party for their latest music video.

Holman, with singer and guitarist Laurie Vincent, who makes up the other half of the band, roped the roadie into the stunt for The People That We Meet.

‘We were at Laurie’s house for a barbecue and our lighting guy Francis just doesn’t really give a s**t what he looks like and his hair was getting pretty long,’ Holman tells me.

‘Laurie said to Francis “It’s time for your annual haircut” and then we just said “Let’s shave his head”.

‘Then while Laurie was getting the clippers he walked down and said “Why don’t we film it? You Ranganathan practise can just sing the lyrics his andten weminute can routines. just make it our music video” so we ‘Some just did it.months it was like an ‘I don’t think Francis minds to be assembly,’ he finishes. honest we like it – he I ask but whether, rather thatlooks going handsome.’ straight into work, he considered But Holman claims they gap year the seemingly compulsory normally getbut up he to more experience, admits he is a hardcore stuff at comforts. barbecues man of creature (which Whileare hispresumably brother and friends went Quorn-heavy, as neither travelling he didn’t fancy it. of‘Backpacking the duo eat meat) and never really house parties. interested me,’ he says.

‘It’s just ‘I like theshaving idea of going to different somebody’s head, don’t to do countries [but] if I Iwanted think that’swant crazy,’ he says. it I would to stay in the best ‘Often we think of it comes places.when I’m pathetic when things like thatit.’we just to slumming doHe it.’adds: ‘When I was at He finds they it hard to us single university sent to Hungary out much morefestival. for aanything European student wild despitein a ‘Wethough, ended and up staying loving party, he shies YMCAa in Budapest and I was away hosting.I had to share utterlyfrom miserable. don’t really throw a ‘I room with some t**t who was house parties,’ he says. unbearable.’

‘I’m always toabout Ironic thentoo thatscared a show have one in myaround house.Sri Lanka to him travelling ‘I’vemore thrown a couple learn about his heritage would before and ita always gets thanks to prove such hit – partly out of hand. partly because it is a Ranganathan, ‘You end up with peopleand partly good travel documentary you don’t know in your straightdown to his hilariously house that’s not very nice.’ talkingand mother.

IAwonder the singer beAsian secondifseries of thewill show, more forthcoming with wild stories Provocateur, has just been shot and from gigs.mother Shanthi has come this time, When along forthe theband ride.played at Reading this year, a group sat down theone ‘Basically she was in the in first middle of the moshpeople pit andliked sangher,’ and unfortunately Row Your Boat while rocking Ranganathan jokes. backwards forwards.

‘I think ifand I had done the second ‘I hadwithout no idea!’ series herHolman it wouldsays. have‘But Ibeen like ait,nightmare yeah. I don’t knowif and,really I suspect, what on down the crowd.

I hadgoes decided to do itinwithout her, It’s to see, on those theyhard would haveespecially said “We’re going big stages. to do a series just with her”.

‘But there been ‘I feelI’m I’msure riding onhave her coat-tails.’ some thingsthe thatpair have Thiscrazier time round, will happened thantothat. travel further speak to even ‘Werelatives, had a niceincluding young man crowd more some surfing with alldidn’t his clothes off the a Ranganathan know existed year ago.

‘We’ve gotwhich familyisall over other day in Oxford, quite

the world,’ he explains. ‘My dad had eight brothers and they all emigrated to different countries and my dad was the only one who decided to settle in England.

‘My mum had always wanted to get to know our relatives in North America but doesn’t like travelling on her own – she won’t get on a plane on her own.

‘So she had this idea of us going together. So you do a trip across America, which is great, but you’re doing it with your mum. I understand that if you’re like 11, but I’m an adult.’

He admits to me he has some regrets over not learning more about his heritage when he was younger and says his family around the world are ‘better, almost universally, at being in touch with their Sri Lankan heritage’ than he is.

He isn’t exactly sure why that is but says: ‘We are the only ones who settled in England. My mum and dad didn’t want to teach us Tamil, and when you get older who the hell wants to learn another language? It just fell by the wayside.

‘Because we didn’t need to learn about the culture we didn’t but then later on you realise it would have been nice to have been more in touch with it.’

So what did he learn on his sixweek trip with his mum?

‘I thought I was somebody who doesn’t like being taken away from creature comforts and that is still true... so I haven’t learnt anything about myself, it’s just confirmation of what I already knew,’ he says.

‘It was nice to get to know family members and it was a massive test of my relationship with my mother.

‘If you can imagine six weeks non-stop with your mum, that is going to push the relationship to the absolute limits.’

Now back in England, he has returned to his day job, touring his live show, Irrational, which explores

his contrary view on life.

‘When I started writing the show it was sort of like my take on different things,’ he explains.

‘I found I disagreed with what my friends thought or what my wife thought about things. It’s my look at the world – oh god that sounds so w**ky but yeh that’s it.

‘When I was expressing a view, invariably the audience didn’t agree with me so it’s sort of pushing the logic on different things. For example with Starbucks, everybody is anti-Starbucks now and I’m pro it so it’s sort of things like that.’

I ask him whether he’s been getting free lattes for praising the I did MCing company. and we ran a ‘No,’ he says in mock anger. pirate radio ‘That’s the main reason I talk about station anything really. I try to mention from our various bits and pieces on TV and bedrooms on shows but so far I don’t get Romesh anything free. It’s a joke.

Ranganathan ‘I’m not one of those people who’s ethical about it, I will exploit the situation as much as possible and get as much free s**t as I can.’

The tour, which has already been running for some time as we speak, will mark his first foray into the lucrative DVD market. I ask him whether he is excited.

With his ever-preset honesty and bluntness he says no.

‘It’s nice to do it and I hope people like it,’ he adds.

‘With things like that it’s not excitement, you just want it to be good. So as soon as someone says “You’re going to do a DVD,” you think “Great” and you start thinking “Oh god, I hope it’s good”.

‘Then I started visualising one-star Amazon reviews saying “I hope this is the end of him”.

Asian Provocateur begins October 12 on BBC Three and the Irrational tour runs till December 8.

For a chance to win a copy of the Irrational DVD, out November 21, turn to p33.

23 27

November 2016

good. He kept on crowd surfing and it seemed like every time he came over more clothing was coming off and then Laurie just said “We’ve never had a naked crowd surfer before – just saying” and then before you knew it, there he was in all his glory.’

But Holman tells me his wild side is more of an alter-ego.

‘I think when you get on the stage a different side of you comes out,’ the 24-year-old says. ‘I still think it’s me but it’s a different me.’

Despite the wild stunts and antics, he says himself and Vincent are very down to earth people.

‘We’ve had good solid upbringings and a good set of mates,’ he adds. ‘I think it would be hard for us to not be humble.’

Luckily, Beastie Boys’ Mike D, who features on new album Take Control, has done some of the boasting for them, telling NME: ‘I feel right now the world needs an album like this. Something that is more raw, more alive and less polished.’

Slaves’ wildchild ways have helped them build a substantial fanbase. They have even turned to their Twitter followers to help them stock up on food, Gaviscon and shoes for previously mentioned lighting guy Francis, as well as for answers to life’s big questions.

‘I was just in a hotel room with somebody and we were talking about nipples and if male animals had nipples,’ Holman chuckles.

‘They said to Google it and You don’t I said “No I’ll need to prove ask the world” you don’t so I wrote it on care but Twitter. Someone sometimes it’s checked within quite funny to the first 20 show it seconds and got Isaac Holman, back to me.’ Some loyal fans even Slaves ran and checked their pets’ bellies for nipples.

But as well as messages from fans, social media also brings trolls.

Punk The band, who pranksters: control their own Isaac Holman accounts, have (left) and retweeted their Laurie Vincent critics, even when their songs have been labelled ‘shite’ or they’ve been called ‘as punk as Dot Cotton’.

‘It’s funny to do things like that to people who are trying to have a go at you,’ Holman says.‘We don’t really mind what anybody thinks about what we do.

‘You don’t need to prove you don’t care but sometimes it’s quite funny to show it. We’re not bothered – carry on doing it ‘We don’t row on Twitter, we kill with kindness always.

‘Those people have obviously got issues that they’re dealing with so let them crack on.’

Slaves’ UK tour runs from November 10 to 30 and Take Control is out now.

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25

Music

November 2016

I love waking in new places

S

@ T om Gellatly LEEPING like a vampire may sound pretty grim, but Honne’s Andy Clutterbuck is telling me bedding down on a cramped bunk during their US tour was some of the best kip he’s had.

‘It was our first tour where we’ve been on a tour bus,’ he says. ‘It was quite exciting.

‘We thought it was going to be awful – there were seven of us on this bus with little bunk beds that were more like coffins. But actually, I don’t think any of us have ever slept better in our lives.’

He and the other half of Honne, James Hatcher, travelled across America this summer.

I ask how it differed from touring in the UK. ‘It was really cool to do a gig, have a few drinks afterwards, get on the bus and then wake up and you’re somewhere completely different,’ Clutterbuck tells me.

Another highlight of the American road trip for was Honne’s driver, Ray. ‘He was amazing,’ he laughs.

‘He’s 69 which is mental in itself and he absolutely loves driving. He

In terms of musicality, we’ve got so much more to offer

Andy Clutterbuck, Honne

ON TOUR Oct 23 Bristol, Trinity Centre Oct 25 Glasgow King Tut’s Wah Wah Hut Oct 26 Manchester, Gorilla Oct 28 London, Roundhouse Oct 31 Nottingham Rescue Rooms Nov 1 Birmingham, O2 Institute2

was out there fixing the bus when the generator broke down, and it was extremely hot – like 40 degrees.

‘He was just working on the van like it was nothing and before that, he had taken the Rolling Stones out on a holiday rather than a tour – Ray’s great.’

Honne’s international fanbase is rapidly growing, as fans from abroad ask them to come and perform via social media.

‘It’s strange, our international picture is a bit weird,’ Clutterbuck says. ‘It’s going really well in America and weirdly South Korea – it’s quite strange.

‘We’d put pictures on Instagram and we’d have people going “Come to Korea”. We’re not sure what’s going on, but it’s great.’

Their South Korean fans convinced them, and they are heading there on tour this month.

I ask how it felt to finally release the full album Warm On A Cold Night in July, after making numerous tantalising EPs since they began producing music as a duo two years ago.

‘Yeah, it’s really great to have it Good Together: Honne’s Andy (right) and James are popular in South Korea all done,’ Clutterbuck says. ‘We’re

YOU SiNK IT

so proud of it. It’s nice to go and play a gig and you’re playing music where people have heard all of it, rather than some brand new ones people don’t know.

‘It’s nicer to have people singing along to everything.’

I wonder what is next for the band’s sound, as they have begun to incorporate more experimental sections into their music, such as on FHKD, which breaks with the conventional form many of their other tracks take.

‘We want to do more of that,’ Clutterbuck confirms. ‘In terms of musicality, and exploring ourselves and what we can do, we’ve got so much more to offer.

‘Even though we still want to write songs which are accessible and reach a wider market, one of our priorities is writing some stuff that takes it as far as we can in terms of different instrumentation.

‘What will be really is the next record will be a bit of a surprise, unlike this one where half of the album people have already heard.

‘The next thing we put out will be a single from the new album and yeah, it’ll be a surprise.’

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The Interview

Rome Rude boy d Romesh Ranganathan remembers his student days listening to rap and MCing on his pirate radio show

I

@ John Shaw

WAS a proper wannabe rude boy,’ comedian Romesh Ranganathan tells me, chuckling at himself.

The 38-year-old is reminiscing about his time studying maths and economics at Birkbeck in London and throughout our conversation he is self-deprecating, almost to a fault, considering he is one of Britain’s most in-demand comics.

‘I was really pathetic,’ he continues.

‘I did MCing and we ran a pirate radio station from our bedrooms.

‘You know people trying to be rebels? It was sort of like that, we thought we were cool.

‘I reckon we must have had about four listeners before we disbanded.’

Still laughing, he tells me he had posters of rappers on his wall, adding: ‘I had a Nike cap on, Jordans.

‘Obsessed with trainers, baggy clothes. All that crap.’

But, unfortunately for him, his gangster style didn’t protect him against the odd prank.

He tells me: ‘When I was in first year I was in halls of residence.

‘You know you have a shared bathroom and toilet?

‘Some of my mates came in and put curry sauce down the inside of the toilet so it looked like someone had used it.

‘Then they knocked on the doors of everyone else and told everyone that I was the one who did it but was too embarrassed to say.

‘So when I came out and saw it, I said I didn’t know how this had happened, but no-one believed me –

it was horrendous.’

Once out of uni, and presumably with his Run-DMC look behind him, he put his degree to use, first going into finance (which he didn’t find rewarding enough) and then into teaching secondary school children, which he looks back on with fondness despite some challenging circumstances.

‘I taught at two schools,’ he tells me. ‘I taught at a really nice school and I was head of sixth form there and then I thought I wanted to do something a bit more challenging.

‘So I went to a school that had just come out of special measures and took over the sixth form there.

‘It was really difficult. The kids were really hard to even get sat down in lessons, but they had really difficult backgrounds so you couldn’t really blame them.

‘They had such difficult home lives so if they were playing up at school you’d think “I totally get it – they’ve not got any structure at home”.

‘It was difficult and challenging, but you wouldn’t get upset about it because you’d think “I’m glad you’re at school in the first place”.’

He describes himself as being ‘OK’ in front of the children but adds: ‘Every other aspect of the job I was appalling at, it was pretty bad.

‘I did really like it but I was terrible at paperwork and staying organised. They are constantly moving the goal posts of what is expected.’

While still teaching maths, he would test out his material at his dad’s pub, where he ran a monthly stand-up night.

Once the children heard about it though, they flocked to watch Mr

esh one good

Created by 2 students, used by over 40,000

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Ranganathan practise his ten minute the world,’ he explains. ‘My dad had his contrary view on life.

‘When I started writing the show it routines. eight brothers and they all emigrated was sort of like my take on different ‘Some months it was like an to different countries and my dad things,’ he explains. assembly,’ he finishes. was the only one who decided to ‘I found I disagreed with what my I ask whether, rather that going settle in England. friends thought or what my wife straight into work, he considered ‘My mum had always wanted to thought about things. It’s my look the seemingly compulsory gap year get to know our relatives in North at the world – oh god that sounds so experience, but he admits he is a America but doesn’t like travelling w**ky but yeh that’s it. man of creature comforts. on her own – she won’t get on a ‘When I was expressing a view, While his brother and friends went plane on her own. invariably the audience didn’t agree travelling he didn’t fancy it.

‘So she had this idea of us going with me so it’s sort of pushing ‘Backpacking never really together. So you do a trip across the logic on different things. For interested me,’ he says.

America, which is great, but example with Starbucks, everybody ‘I like the idea of going to different you’re doing it with your mum. I countries [but] if I wanted to do understand that if you’re like 11, but is anti-Starbucks now and I’m pro it so it’s sort of things like that.’ it I would want to stay in the best I’m an adult.’

I ask him whether he’s been places. I’m pathetic when it comes He admits to me he has some to slumming it.’ regrets over not learning more about getting free lattes for praising the I did MCing company.

He adds: ‘When I was at his heritage when he was younger and we ran a ‘No,’ he says in mock anger. university they sent us to Hungary and says his family around the pirate radio for a European student festival. world are ‘better, almost universally, ‘That’s the main reason I talk about station You must be in Higher Education in receipt of anything really. I try to mention ‘We ended up staying in a at being in touch with their Sri from our Student Finance, 18+ only. various bits and pieces on TV and YMCA in Budapest and I was Lankan heritage’ than he is. bedrooms on shows but so far I don’t get utterly miserable. I had to share He isn’t exactly sure why that is Romesh a room with some t**t who was but says: ‘We are the only ones who anything free. It’s a joke.

Ranganathan ‘I’m not one of those people unbearable.’ settled in England. My mum and who’s ethical about it, I will exploit Ironic then that a show about dad didn’t want to teach us Tamil, him travelling around Sri Lanka to and when you get older who the hell the situation as much as possible and get as much free s**t as I can.’ learn more about his heritage would wants to learn another language? It The tour, which has already been prove such a hit – partly thanks to just fell by the wayside. running for some time as we speak, Ranganathan, partly because it is a ‘Because we didn’t need to learn good travel documentary and partly about the culture we didn’t but then will mark his first foray into the lucrative DVD market. I ask him down to his hilariously straightlater on you realise it would have whether he is excited. talking mother. been nice to have been more in With his ever-preset honesty and A second series of the show, Asian touch with it.’ bluntness he says no.

Provocateur, has just been shot and So what did he learn on his six‘It’s nice to do it and I hope people this time, mother Shanthi has come week trip with his mum? like it,’ he adds. along for the ride.

‘I thought I was somebody who ‘With things like that it’s not ‘Basically she was in the first one doesn’t like being taken away from excitement, you just want it to be and unfortunately people liked her,’ creature comforts and that is still good. So as soon as someone says Ranganathan jokes. true... so I haven’t learnt anything “You’re going to do a DVD,” you ‘I think if I had done the second about myself, it’s just confirmation Loans subject to Credit and Affordability. think “Great” and you start thinking series without her it would have of what I already knew,’ he says. been a nightmare and, I suspect, if ‘It was nice to get to know family “Oh god, I hope it’s good”.

‘Then I started visualising one-star I had decided to do it without her, members and it was a massive test they would have said “We’re going of my relationship with my mother. Amazon reviews saying “I hope this is the end of him”. to do a series just with her”.

‘If you can imagine six weeks WARNING: Late repayment can cause you serious money problems. For help, go to: www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk Asian Provocateur begins ‘I feel I’m riding on her coat-tails.’ non-stop with your mum, that is 12 on BBC andto theoffer financial support and advice.

This time round, the pair will going to push the relationship to the Octobermay Your University beThree able Irrational tour runs till December 8. travel further to speak to even absolute limits.’

Rep Example APR based for 111 £50.00 at fixed rate: 292% pa. Total to repay: £150.00 For a chance to win days. a copy ofInterest: the more relatives, including some Now279.35% back in England, he has on: £100 Irrational DVD, DVD,out outNovember November21, 21, Ranganathan didn’t know existed a returned to his day job, touring his p33. year ago. ‘We’ve got family all over live show, Irrational, which explores turn to p30.

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03/10/2016 09:14

In Style

29

November 2016

I

True fashionistas look fantastic even if they’re lazing on the sofa

Cool outfits for chill time

T’S all well and good dressing up for the big occasions but dedicated fashion fans look great 100 per cent of the time.

And who’s the greatest exponent of this? It’s Sleeping Beauty, of course.

The lazy so-and-so has been napping for years but still opted for a stunning

Women’s lounging around

Men’s lounging around

Jess says: ‘I adore this hoodie. The appliqué detail adds so much.

Paired with these zipped leggings and the cute slippers this is the perfect chill-out outfit.’

Jess says: ‘The offwhite colour of this hoodie is a staple for AW16. The joggers are chosen for the comfort factor, and the trainers inject a bit of colour.’

Zip detail leggings, £14.99 from New Look Grey hoodie, £30 from Topshop Animal slipper, £12 from River Island

off-the shoulder, floor-length dress with an added gold tiara to finish off the look.

To help you nail the chilled-out style, The University Paper’s fashion expert, YouTuber and Manchester Metropolitan student Jess Ratchford, has picked out some killer outfits in which even the world’s greatest slob can look incredible.

Hoodie, £25 from River Island Joggers, £30 from River Island High sneaks, £270 from Furla

Women’s popping out

Men’s popping out

Jess says: ‘Culottes are my new fave staple and these ones are comfy but chic, especially paired with these pastel pink slip-on trainers. The top in this look pulls it all together.’

Jess says: ‘The distressed look of these jeans bring a relaxed vibe. I love pairing a zip-up hoodie with a plain white t-shirt and the trainers give comfort and style.’

Baggy top, £15 from Pretty Little Thing Culottes, £28 from Very Disco platform trainers, £30 from Office

Camel hoodie, £14 from New Look Distressed jeans, £45 from River Island Adidas Cloudfoam Race Shoes, £49.95 from adidas.co.uk

size.co.uk @sizeofficial

The Interview

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We nurture the best Brit talent Chase & Status’ Saul on ditching uni, new artists and linking up with Tom Grennan

Gaining status: Saul, left, with Will Kennard, right, and Tom Grennan

Food & Drink

19 31

November 2016

Cupboard basics W for food rookies

S

@ Tom Gellatly

WAPPING books for

HEN it comes to wants to start making dinner and things students miss find they have nothing in except while living away chillies, cocoa powder and vodka. from home, a fridge That’s why TUP have picked out full of mould-free some trusty cupboard essentials snacks often comes top of the list. you can buy in bulk now, with For more food tips There are weeks when you’re so easy recipe ideas, to make those and go to www. busy socialising and studying (not days when you think you have to mention skint) that the thought of unipaper.co.uk nothing to cook a little easier. buying enough was groceries fill yourto have spoken Forgetonbeans on toast to Future Cut, who at the time had quite to left-field in Glasgow November 19and andjacket cupboard fills you with dread.

– these ideas will26. have just recorded this song called Smile word over our music, but it was ends potatoes in London on November But no-one a particularly your housemates begging with this unknown girl called Lily except different and that’s what we strive ‘What’s nice about this one isyou we to gung-ho contestant share Allen. It was a great place for usMasterchef to for,’ Milton says. usually go aonplate. really long tours, like learn what we are doing now.’

‘There is too much music out three weeks, with 20 dates and no The name dropping doesn’t stop there that sounds like other stuff, so sleep,’ Milton says. ‘We’ve brought BAKED real worked trump card there, asBEANS: the duoAhave with we try and avoid that and hopefully it back a little on this one.

If you’re inside, hungover, BREAD: SOUP: A hug plenty ofstuck big acts, including Plan do things our Get ownbready way.’ to crumble ‘We’reCUP really excited forinthea mug if your loaf is dried out and Alexandra Any meal you can without with no greasy to ease the B, Rihanna andfood Example.

I askEven which of their many Palace show ineat London, stale, youwith can get more life out which we’ve cutlery or out, a plate good, pain, baked beans can help In their latest collection ofyou collaborations other artists sold andiswe’re it bymost using it to make croutons. you’re ill. out. Stick in a pan tunes, theythem continue the and trendwhile by Miltonofhas enjoyed within the excited toespecially go back when to Manchester.’

Tear‘It’s the bread into small chunks, The sold Simply having cupdate soups in your they’re heating up,the tossfreshest a slice of collaborating with past year. impossible to pick out hometown oil onto cupboard ward& off starvation breadonin.the TheBritish beansmusic will reduce faces scene.

– alsodrizzle I’ll getsome beaten up if aI baking do,’ hetray,shows how popularwill Chase sprinkle some and spread andremained they’re sothrough quick totheir make around bread while itwith soaks ‘We’vethe been working lots laughs.

‘They’ve allsalt been amazing.

Status have chunks evenly onto shifting musical and eat,style you might well stock the sauce, resulting some ofupnew, exciting talent –inthe best Slavesyour are bread very interesting, – theirassound the tray.

Bake around tenis up on a few sachets.

Add some beany as bread to cure your ofgreasy, the British, we like to do,’ intelligent guys, andfortheir music was grimier than ever on their 2015 minutes pepper, mushrooms and me peas to hangover.

Milton says. so 1970s punk.and your croutons will EP London Bar and Milton tells your finished product to make the comethe outloveliest golden and ready to be their fourth Their new single, When It All ‘They’re boys album contains ‘loads soup more exciting. on to a and salad.

Goes Wrong, features promising ever –sprinkles they’re vegans they’re of stuff across the board’. new talent, singer-songwriter really into this new health and Some fans have even labelled the Tom Grennan. ‘We’re really environment wave, which you duo pioneers of d‘n’b and dubstep. excited to let the world know wouldn’t necessarily expect after ‘It’s flattering,’ Milton says.

‘How could I not say that means a lot? It’s a real honour to be spoken We like to work with people who sound like no one else and of like that. have a real original flair – that’s what we love ‘The scene we’re from has been about him,’ Milton says. ‘Tom is a hearing their raucous music. bubbling over for many years and really interesting act – he’s up for ‘Novelist, too. He’s only 19, it is incredibly strong – we couldn’t whatever, he’s really open-minded but for me he’s a real voice of the be more passionate about it.’ which goes a long way in this youth, a real street poet for them.

‘We’re incredibly fortunate in industry.’

‘He’s a really important artist, that we’ve been able to take it to Grennan is one of a many just how Dizzee Rascal was in the the masses and appeal to a wider collaborators to feature on the new early 2000s, and I think Novelist audience. I’d be remiss if I told you album, Milton reveals. will speak to his generation in a all of it was planned, because it ‘We like to work with people similar way.’ definitely wasn’t,’ he laughs. who sound like no one else and I ask which of the artists on the ‘I do believe if an artist makes have a real original flair,’ he adds.

More Than Alot label Chase & music with the purpose of charting ‘That’s what we love.

Status founded in 2009 Milton is or getting on the radio then it won’t ‘When we worked with currently most excited about. work. You’ve got to be authentic Maverick Sabre in 2011, I was like 'Dimension and 1991, who I’d and genuine. I think if you do that “I’ve heard no one like him, we’ve say are two flagship artists for us. as an artist in any field then, please got to get him in the studio!” It was ‘They’re both making some of god, you’ll be successful.’ the same with Tempa T, and now the most exciting d‘n’b out there But he adds it’s not just about with George The Poet.’

‘Also, Will and I would be lost fervour and talent, but persistence.

Spoken-word-meets-rap artist without our frontman MC Rage.’

‘Good music will prevail, and George The Poet features on one MC Rage will, as ever, be with that’s all everyone wants to hear,’ of Chase & Status’ new singles, the duo on their six-date he says. ‘These days the door is fittingly titled Spoken Word. ‘It UK tour, which starts wide open.’

basslinesyou may have We show you the ingredients to stock up on and what can do with them paid off for Chase & ONIONS: A peel essential

Even if you have barely anything else in your cupboards, you can make a hearty, freshers’ flu-fighting meal out of onions.

All you need to do is add them to a pan of butter, cook until they’re soft, pour in some beef stock and seasoning and bring the whole thing to a boil. Et voila – a nourishing French onion soup to warm you up.

GARLIC: Smelly but necessary

You can quite easily make a filling meal out of just some garlic, spaghetti and olive oil. Boil the spaghetti in a pot until soft and fry the garlic in some olive oil in a separate pan. Tip the spaghetti into the pan of garlic and oil and stir the whole thing. You’ll be left with a surprisingly filling, cheap and tasty meal.

Status’ Saul Milton, but

POTATOES: In trying spuds to wepersuade trust he’s

you’re craving a quick andidea. easy meIfthis is not always a great midnight snack butdo the freezer’s ‘Don’t necessarily what we the shops did,empty whichand was drop outare of shut, uni canitsave yourself a trip to the andyou pack all in,’ he says.

‘That kebabfor shop by making worked us but it mighta batch not work flavoursome potato wedges. forof everyone.’

Wash thewho potatoes and cut For those do decide tothem into astheir manydegree wedges you think sacrifice inas favour can eat, thenMilton dip them of ayou music career, hasinto a of seasoning to give them an thisbowl advice: ‘It’s mainly about extra kick.

Stick them in theyou’re oven self-belief – believe in what and be coat them lightly oil. doing, genuine aboutwith it, make Within halfthe anheart hourand you’ll have the music from don’t perfect finger food to eat make music by numbers toin tryfront and telly.radio.’ getofit the on the If anyone knows best it’s Chase & Status. Milton (Chase) and Will Kennard (Status), who tour with frontman MC Rage, have been at the forefront of innovation on the drum and bass and dubstep scenes for more than ten years, and show no sign of slowing down.

‘The fact we are where we are right now, with all our fans, we know we’re very blessed and we don’t take that for granted,’ Milton tells me. ‘We’re very honoured to be where we are.’

Milton reflects on their time in Manchester, which continued after he left Manchester Met and Kennard dropped out of the University of Manchester.

‘We’ve been friends since 1997 but we met up again at uni,’ Milton says. ‘Then we dropped out of what we were doing to pursue this.

‘But we still liked the student life in Manchester. We lived there for six years, and our studio was next

TEN MINUTES WITH TOM GRENNAN

CARBS: The pre-club kings

Pasta can be a lifesaver as part of a pre-night out meal, lining the stomach and giving you an energy boost. You can make a hearty dish in minutes with pasta, Brussels sprouts and cream. Boil the pasta in a pan of water, then slice the Brussels sprouts into thin pieces and fry. Drain and add the pasta to the Brussels sprouts and pour

on the cream, which will also help line your stomach.

If you’ve got no pasta, rice is also a great carb to have to hand.

Simply heat some oil in a wok, whisk in some eggs and stir in cooked rice for a DIY egg fried rice fresher than you’ll find in a takeaway. Dried rice and pasta will keep for ages, especially if you transfer into an airtight container.

As Tom Grennan greets me I instantly recognize guitar and trying to do as his voice from the gruff, soulful vocals on Chase many gigs as possible,’ he tells me. ‘In my third year & Status’ single All Goes Wrong.

I ended up getting a bit The 21-year-old was thrown in the deep end of interest from different by his collaboration with drum and bass duo labels, and my publisher Will Kennard and Saul Milton. sorted out a session with ‘My first show with them was Wireless, which Will Kennard, AKA Status, was 55,000 people – I hadn’t done a show with SEASONING: To 200 spice things up that,’ the because the pair heard bloody more than people before The humble parsley can be one of my songs. And singer-songwriter laughs. used as aGrennan's substitute for many from then we just Despite initial nerves, the pricier, fancier herbs and goes vibed out and created performance proved a success as fans praised particularly well saying with mushrooms, All Goes Wrong – it the set, with many on Twitter that it pasta, chicken was a bit mad.’ made the festival.and fish.

OIL: obviously For sticky situations ‘At first, However, singer also credits VEGGIE Salt canthe be indie-soul used as more than It’s Irisky pretty much was, to notcook scared BT Sport's use of When It All Goes Wrong for just seasoning.

You can sprinkle anything a pan without adding exactly,inbut I was contributing to theto warm reception. it in your coffee enhance the of oilGrennan first. It’s handy like “s**t!”’

‘When itadd hit the Sportto advert flavour, it toBTwater makeititgot big,’ he a splash flavour and for its non-stick says. couldquickly hear people boil‘Imore or putinitthe in crowd your singing itfor laughs.

You can ‘I was going in also wipe back at that point,for and hopefully now it’s properties. milktotouskeep it fresh longer. your with to make cheese tograter make music out,Pepper the response at gigs be mad.’ is a quick andwill easy way clumpy, orIadd people was it to container It wasn't long ago themeal artistsuch from Bedford was lesswith to spice up a bland lidslistening to stop them getting stuck. to when performing to housemates in his uni halls. as our friend the cup soup.

Just I was inhave uppersuggested ‘I was at St Mary’s in Twickenham remember: You can always add and I was Scientists vegetable oil isI healthier to cook school and just doing my bit,can’t just going more, but you take itaround out with a

once it’s in there.

with than other oils.

was a big fan of them. To work with them ON TOUR in a studio was mad. But nah, it’s all worked out well now at least.’

Nov 19 Glasgow, Although the Chase & Status O2 Academy collaboration has helped Nov 20 to launch Grennan into the Newcastle, O2 Academy limelight, the singer now plans Nov 22 to fly the dubstep duo’s nest Manchester, O2 to pursue his solo career. ‘It’s Apollo really exciting,' he says. 'I’m Nov 24 Birmingham, O2 not sure whether I’m gonna Academy do a couple of EPs first, and Nov 25 obviously an album as CHOPPED TOMATOES: Tinsthen of fun Portsmouth, well, but it’s exciting. ’ Many dishes have tomato as their TUNA: Any-fin is possible Guildhall London, is releasing his first EP seemsNov Everyone to 26 have a tin of base, from pasta sauceGrennan and curry Alexandra Palace October to singlelurking in their cupboard, to caserole. You couldon even just 28 and planstuna handedly road. can you use it for? A but what plonk a plum tomato on your take on the open got with my first headline show on bake is an easy and tuna pasta toast. But you can’t go‘I’ve wrong quick recipe for a filling dinner. a hearty tomato soup.November All you 10 at The Slaughtered Lamb London and aBoil few other pasta and mix a little butter need is some onion and yourintins dates,’ he says. ‘Hopefully andafter flour in a saucepan before of tomatoes. Stick the onions and For more music Christmas out on the milk, while stirring. Mix in tomatoes in a blender with someI’ll be goingadding news, go to just me and myallguitar.

I’ll tuna with of that your pasta milk and whiz away. Thenroad, warm www.unipaper. play every little show get andI can newly-made white sauce. Top in a pan and you’ve got a lovely co.uk really.’

Tom withGellatly some cheese and bake for 15 winter meal that can compete

with your central heating.

minutes.

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Competition

33

November 2016

WIN! Funky fresh vinyl player

Your chance to win fantastic tickets, trips and treats | For all our competitions head to www.unipaper.co.uk/competitions

No matter which music generation you come from, anyone can appreciate how amazing vinyls are.

There are plenty of ways to listen to music, but there is no denying vinyl records beat CDs, tapes and MP3s hands down.

From parents to roommates, you will make everyone jealous with this modern turntable.

The University Paper have teamed up with HMV to give one student the chance to win a Lenco L-85 turntable and one vinyl from HMV’s top picks.

The vinyls the winner can pick from are: California by Blink-182, 1989 by Taylor Swift, The Bride

by Bat For Lashes, The Ride by Catfish And The Bottlemen, Blossoms by Blossoms, Every Open Eye by CHVRCHES, Nothing's Real by Shura, What Went Down by Foals, Chaleur Humaine by Christine And The Queens and Wild World by Bastille.

To enter, email win@ unipaper.co.uk with your name, location and university or visit www.unipaper.co.uk/ competitions and fill in your details.

WIN! Romesh tour DVDs

Back to the old school: Music in its finest form

Panel show regular Romesh Ranganathan uses his dry wit to look at problems that plague us all.

Android vs. iPhone, going to Wagamama and the cinema popcorn portions are the kind of topics he sensitively tackles on his Irrational tour, which runs until December 8.

The Crawley native also chats self-deprecatingly about his belly, how impatient he is when he's

supposed to be helping his kids with their homework and his dress sense.

If you can't catch any of his live dates or just want to relive the laughter, we have five of his DVDs, Romesh Ranganathan: Irrational Live, to give away.

For a chance to win, go to www. unipaper.co.uk/competitions.

The closing date for entries is November 30.

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Jobs

35

Don’t know what to do after university? TUP checks out some options

November 2016

Creepy crawlies: The Friendly Spider Programme, above and John Clifford, inset

Meet the spider spin doctor the public and talk about the animals and work the zoo does. The Friendly Spider Programme was already running at the time, and I volunteered to help on that.

I saw the work they did and became interested.

@ Arike Idris

Arachnophile John shows eight legs can be friendly in his hypnotherapy role

A

S an expert in hypnosis, you have the potential to persuade people to do all sorts of crazy things.

While some use their talents for entertainment, John Clifford is using his for good.

He works at London Zoo, running the Friendly Spider Programme, which was put in place to help cure people with fears of the eightlegged creatures.

John tells TUP about his creepy but kind job...

I have always been interested in animals. I was particularly interested in creepy crawlies, so from a young age I had a small understanding of how they work and how people relate to them.

I have been working specifically with spiders since the Friendly Spider Programme, but I have been interested in them all my life. As a

You don’t tend to get bunny rabbits hopping around your living room, but you do get spiders, which can be scary kid, I would sit in the garden and watch spiders making webs and hunting. It’s a strange occupation to a lot of people.

I started as a volunteer at London Zoo. I would work with

I decided to take a course on hypnotherapy. During the course I learned how to deal with people and was taught the relevant skills for hypnotherapy. To some extent, you learn on the job as well.

I completed the course and got the right certificates and diplomas.

Then the guy who was running the Friendly Spider Programme retired, so I took over.

The programme has now been running for 23 years. I have only been working on it for the last 16 years, since 2000. I still love it, it’s great.

The programme was started by an American chap called Robert Farago. He approached London Zoo and suggested the idea as a possibility for a programme, and they did a test run and it went very well.

The course is a combination of a whole range of techniques.

For the first part of the course, we use cognitive behavioural therapy techniques.

The hypnotherapy we use is a general relaxation induction to get people into a hypnotic trance. Then we do direct suggestion, which is where we tell them explicitly to be safe and calm with spiders.

Then we do some relaxation stuff.

By taking them to a relaxing place in their minds, it has a calming effect. Then we do what is called a visualisation system. Which is where we get them to visualise putting their fears into a cloud, and the cloud gets darker and drifts away and takes their fears away.

We reinforce that again with more positive suggestions, and get them to go through a scenario in their minds of where they wouldn’t be frightened of spiders.

We do a brief wrap up at the end, and reinforcement again to get them in a positive state and then bring them out of the hypnotic state.

Our success rate for last year was 98 per cent on the day. We see around 40 people at each session and we run seven sessions in a year.

The success rate is improved over the years. When I say success, I mean they are able to capture a spider in a pot with a piece of card.

If they can do that calmly by the end of the day, that’s our pass mark.

It’s difficult to understand why British people are scared of spiders. Because, certainly in the UK, there are no dangerous spiders whatsoever, despite what is occasionally reported in the papers.

No-one dies from spider bites in the UK, it just doesn’t happen.

It seems to be partly cultural to be scared of spiders. I think part of it is spiders are one of the few larger noticeable parts of the outside world that invade our space in our homes.

You don’t tend to get bunny rabbits hopping around your living room. But you do get spiders coming in and they are very obvious and fast, and that can be a bit unnerving. It’s interesting because as far as we can tell, the UK has one of the highest, if not the highest, rates of arachnophobia in the world. Other countries, where they have more potentially dangerous spiders, generally have a much lower percentage of

arachnophobia.

I guess it’s also because they are alien-looking, especially with their legs.

When we ask people what is it about spiders that triggers the fear response, they mention legs pretty much every time.

We also, very occasionally, have run a Fear Of Snakes course.

But this and the Friendly Spider Programme are the only courses we run. But I deal with people on a one-to-one basis for all sorts of animal phobias.

Seeing the end result of a session is fantastic.

There is a huge buzz, I mean there are very few jobs where you get to change 40 people’s lives for the better in a single afternoon, and we really do change lives, which is why we love doing it.

It’s such a great feeling to achieve that, to see people leaving when sometimes they come into the session in tears and just the thought of talking about spiders terrifies them. To see them at the end of the day leaving with their certificate and a photo of them holding a tarantula is great.

Digs

37

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November 2016

Dodge those dire house traps

Secure the ultimate accommodation with these top tips

TUP Top Tip: Don’t be shy to grill potential housemates (not literally)

@ Amy Denman

H

Have you had any digs disasters? Send your horror story to editor@unipaper.co.uk

OUSE hunting tends to be a long and stressful process.

Understandably you just want to get a place for next year secured sooner rather than later.

However this sense of urgency can be taken advantage of by sneaky estate agents and landlords, which is where some students come unstuck.

TUP have devised a selection of tips for savvy students to bear in mind during those viewings.

before Christmas, as the likelihood is that students will end up paying more with less choice.’

Has your landlord been checked?

Most university towns will have an organisation similar to Unipol which helps students choose a good standard of housing, you can speak to your student union about your local housing body. Nicola said: ‘Students should look for an accredited property.’

Choose your time wisely

Timing is almost as important as the place itself.

Nicola Brown from Unipol, a charity which helps students rent accommodation, said: ‘When searching for houses with friends we advise not to rush into anything UniMag Vector AW.pdf

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Full house: Pick housemates carefully, you’ll have to live together

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18/08/2016

18:56

Don’t play housemate bingo As you’ll know from the game of luck, picking something at random is never the quickest way to a full house. Nicola said: ‘Think carefully about who to share with as friendship groups can change in the first few months of uni. A friend to

party with might not make the best housemate.’

VIEWING ADVICE

Know your mould

Nicola Brown from Leeds-based charity Unipol shares some tips on what to do when viewing a potential property.

It’s all about the confidence Be confident when you go on a viewing, don’t be shy to ask questions and challenge fees – it’s their job to negotiate.

Check they are reputable Are they members of the Unipol Code or an equivalent code in your city? Speak to your student union about how to go about checking this.

Pick your priorities Decide beforehand on the essentials and where you are prepared to compromise.

Play the field Compare prices and standards by viewing a few properties with different landlords and agencies.

Chat to tenants If the existing tenants are there take the opportunity to ask them about the property, if the property is poor, they will be honest.

It’s good on blue cheese but bad on windows.

Mould and damp are common occurrences in student houses, however this does not mean you have to tolerate them.

When viewing a potential pad keep an eye out for any signs of damp or mould these include, stains on walls, condensation on windows and peeling wallpaper.

Mould can be very hard to get rid of, it can also spread on to shoes and clothes and be very bad for your health. So if you spot any sign of it during a viewing, it would be best to scratch that one from your list.

Is the house well kept?

We have all been to house viewings where the current tenants are slightly relaxed when keeping up appearances.

However, it can be a big issue if your landlord takes the same attitude. Look out for small things such as broken draws and loose wires to avoid lazy landlords.

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Image: Random Dance Rain Room (Barbican 2013)

Be there when it happens Join Young Barbican and get discounted tickets to unmissable art and entertainment for just £5, £10 or £15, with all new film releases just £5 (Mon–Thu) It’s free to join, there are no booking fees and you can even bring a friend for the same price To sign up, visit barbican.org.uk/youngbarbican

Sport

Super new era kicks off

New BUCS league to bring added quality

I

@ John Shaw

N 1992, British football was changed forever when the biggest teams broke from the Football League to form what is now known as the Premier League.

It brought a new level of professionalism, improved facilities and, of course, more money.

Now the big names in university rugby union have gone a similar way, escaping the previous Northern and Southern leagues to form the BUCS Super League.

The exciting new competition will see the best eight men’s teams from England and Wales compete on a weekly basis with a grand final taking place at Twickenham Stadium in March.

The university squads – Bath, Cardiff Met, Durham, Exeter, Hartpury College, Leeds Beckett, Loughborough and Northumbria – will regularly play at rugby Premiership grounds including Exeter Chiefs’ Sandy Park.

Darren Fearn, head of rugby at Northumbria, said: ‘The BUCS Super League is a great opportunity to play top quality rugby, progressing on the rugby ladder while also getting a strong academic side. All the performance sports really push that at Northumbria, you push both angles and then you can have a degree and the chance to play professional rugby, which a lot of players have done in the past.’

For the students it is a chance to catch the eye of Premiership teams, especially with some of the big TV channels potentially showing the games and some matches being streamed online.

Leeds Beckett captain Josh Longson said: ‘It’s our dream to go professional, and the BUCS Super League is putting us in the shop window more than anything.’

Bath captain Will Britton added: ‘With the new format that we have in BUCS Super Rugby, I think there is a higher level of exposure for the players, bigger crowds and more people watching, potentially it going on the internet as well.

‘The players themselves will have so many more eyes on them, if they do well, if they do badly – so let’s hope they play well.

‘There are more people to watch, so that can only raise your game.

‘We’re definitely excited by TV, starting from an early age you always want to play on TV, whether that is playing for your favourite club, or playing for your university, it’s just exciting times all round with the amount of exposure we’ll have.’

The league, which was launched at Twickenham Stadium, has been organised by BUCS with help from rugby governing body, the RFU. It marks an exciting time of investment from the RFU, who have just announced a partnership

Grateful eight: The captains at the launch of the BUCS Super League at Twickenham Stadium

47

November 2016

IN BRIEF

Rio medals net Lough Sports Uni Of The Year Loughborough has been crowned University Of The Year For Sport.

The institution won the The Times and Sunday Times Good University Guide Award after 42 medals were won at the Olympic and Paralympic Games by athletes linked to the university.

John Steele, executive director of sport at Loughborough, said: ‘Regardless of ability we provide a sporting experience that is aimed at enjoyment and reaching personal potential. We are particularly proud of the part we played in the recent successes of GB athletes in Rio.’ Alastair McCall, editor of STGUG, said: ‘Where would we be without Loughborough and its outstanding athletes and training facilities?’

DMU sign up United star

There are no easy games and every week is a quarter-final

Will Britton, Bath captain

You look at the fixture list and there’s not an easy one

Ryan Roach, Cardiff Met captain

Pitting yourself against these guys is going to be a challenge

Buchan Richardson, Durham captain

We’ll be looking at every single game as a knock-out

Simon Linsell, Exeter vice-captain

Former Manchester United midfielder Park Ji-sung has joined De Montfort University’s international MA in management, law and humanities of sport this year.

The South Korean Premier League winner will be joining dozens of other new students on the course, and he will be hoping to improve his understanding of football ‘around the pitch’.

He said: ‘One of my colleagues said it had been a great experience and though many players go into coaching or management, I wanted to improve my knowledge of football around the pitch and then perhaps work in the South Korean Tom Gellatly football league.’

Hat-trick for Bath sevens

We just need to step it up, focus every week

Sebastian Negri, Hartpury captain

Up for it? TUP is looking for sports writers to cover all BUCS rugby fixtures. To get involved email editor@ unipaper.co.uk

The BUCS Super League is putting us in the shop window

Josh Longson, Leeds Beckett captain

with 15 universities and a pledge to invest £220,000 into strengthening the game within the higher education sector.

Keith Fleming, University of Exeter coach, said: ‘The RFU and BUCS working in partnership is definitely helping move the programme forward. The RFU

The boys are absolutely buzzing to be in the league

Isaac Miller, Loughborough captain

have come in with a raft of support packages for the universities involved which is helpful, and between them we’re going to make steps forward.’

The future of the league is unknown, but is, without doubt, exciting for the teams involved.

‘Some university rugby players

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Everyone is a tough team and it’s relentless

Oli Robinson, Northumbria captain

are some of the best around and hopefully people will be able to see that,’ said Exeter vice-captain Simon Linsell. ‘BUCS and the RFU have worked really hard to make this vision come true, and it wouldn’t have happened without them, so there’s a lot to thank them for making this a reality.’

Team Bath grabbed a dramatic win in front of 13,500 spectators to claim the Red Bull Uni 7s for the third year in a row.

The University of Bath men’s rugby team touched down in the dying seconds to beat Cardiff Metropolitan University 21-17.

The entertaining match, which was played during half-time of a Premiership game between Bath and Worcester Warriors at The Rec, was clinched by James Catlin who was set up by Levi Davis.

The competition saw national champions from England, Wales, Italy, France, Brazil and the USA take on each other, with Americans Lindenwood claiming third.

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