Turn Left Issue 18

EDITED, DESIGNED AND WHATEVERED

BY ADAM PETERS. ALL PHOTOGRAPHS

BY JOHN HESSE EXCEPT FOR: PAGE 9 & BACK COVER BY VINCIANE PIÉRART AKA NSP 189 // PAGES 3 (BALLOTS) & 14 (HAIRY) BY US // PAGE 10 BY JAMES ‘HIGGINS’ BATES // PAGE 14 (LEMON) BY GABRIELE STURARO // THANKS TO INTERVIEWEES // PLEASE SUPPORT OUR AWESOME ADVERTISERS – THEY MAKE THIS MAG POSSIBLE!

It’s a new record of just three weeks between issues of Turn Left, beating the previous record by one day. This would be thrashed if we had separate mags for the Dolphin double header on December 3rd and Corn Exchange intraleague on the 10th.

Turning around two issues a week apart is way beyond our capabilities sadly, so instead the issue you’re holding (with a much increased print run) covers both events. It’s been a real squeeze getting everything into a regular sized mag. Hopefully we’ve just about managed it.

Will December’s events be as exciting as the conclusion to last month’s B-team game at the Dolphin, which saw Brighton snatch a 195-194 win in the very final seconds? We can but hope.

As this is our final issue of 2016 you should find a Player Of The Year voting slip inside. Jot down your favourites and hunt out our shiny ballot box on the Rockers ticket (or maybe merch) table. Let’s see if we can beat last year’s record of almost 100 people voting... GO ROCKERS!

December 10th is a historic day for the Rockers with their first ever event in Brighton itself. It’s also their first public intraleague (Rockers v Rockers).

Turn Left speaks to the event’s bench coaches about what to expect...

E U L B & K C A L B

TRESS S I M & E D JANEYCI S S A CHES) A M O C H T H C WI N (BE

GO ROCKERS!

H DEC 10TW PREVIE THERE USED TO BE TWO pubs called the Shakespeare’s Head half a mile apart in Brighton. Luckily for us (though less so for its regulars) the Western Road one became flats a couple of years ago. Ensuring that we turn up at the correct Seven Dials one to interview the women pitting Rocker v Rocker at the Corn Exchange on the 10th...

Although this will be the Rockers’ first Team Blue v Team Black event in front of an audience, we presume you often hold similar games behind closed doors?

Mistress: We have a monthly intraleague game in training.

That’s something we integrate new skaters into fairly quickly – as soon as they’re safe to scrimmage, pretty much – so it does get a bit chaotic with all the different skill levels involved. For the event at the Corn Exchange we’re splitting the squads in two, so one half of the game will be A-team level skaters and the other half B-team. We though that was the best way to showcase the qualities of the sport.

Mass Janeycide: It’s not really fair on the newer players to put them up against AllStars.

Derby players are mean, so the really experienced skaters would make a point of targeting the rookies in the packs. It would all end up quite scrappy and not the best game to watch if we did it like that.

Do players tend to stay in the same Blue/Black team from month to month in the training games? Generally speaking, yes. There’s been a bit of a switcharound recently with Gin leaving, but that was purely to equal out the number of jammers on each side.

There have been a few switches, but most people still have affinity with a particular group. This also filters into our games against outside opposition, particularly in terms of packs. So when we’re playing Milan or whoever, one of our blocking line-ups will be all Team Black skaters, another all Team Blue. It’s not as cut and dried as that, but having that bond and experience of skating together in the intraleagues is something we do look to carry across to regular games.

Which team has the upper hand at the moment in terms of intraleague wins? I haven’t watched the recent ones my-

self, but generally speaking it tends to be fairly even. We make a point of allocating new players across both, with the most experienced players being equally fairly distributed, so the two teams are of a very similar level overall.

In the last intraleague things fluctuated a lot over the course of the match. I kept going from bench to bench, playing mind games with them. I was saying to one team “you’re doing really well” and telling the other “you’re getting thrashed” then vice versa – trying to see who responded best to different kinds of motivation. That’s why we call her Two-Face Janey.

Presumably everyone takes things a bit easier in games against their Rockers teammates? Yes and no. Obviously nobody wants to hurt someone else in a training game, but there is a lot of pride on the line. They do take it very seriously. All the Rockers are inherently competitive, so they just can’t help themselves.

TEAM BLUE STEP ON YOU...

“Team Black are superior in only one respect. They are better at losing.”

DR WHOOLIGAN “Black will feel blue when we have finished with them.”

FELLEN E ASSAULT

... ..... .......

“Um, apologies for how few lines of banter you’ve been sent by Team Blue. To be honest, there’s very little we can say about Team Black that would be suitable for a sophisticated family magazine like Turn Left.”

IRISH MIST

Do skaters who are partners, housemates, best friends or whatever tend to play on the same intraleague team or against each other? It really depends on how they play on track. We try and build the best line-ups possible as it’s all preparation for competitive games.

So-and-so and so-and-so might want be on the same team, but they don’t play well together... or they play so similarly that they get in each other’s way on track. Those are big factors we have to take into account when rostering skaters.

Any specific ways in which playing intraleague benefits future competitive games?

It’s great after training to be able to say, for example: “Hey Team Blue, what do you think Team Black were doing really well in that game? When you managed to get jammers through, what were their weak spots?” Having that experience of a real game – with proper

rules and by-the-book refereeing – is so useful when spotting strengths and weaknesses.

Playing against each other is great for getting to better know each other’s play, but it also adds to the cohesion when you later come together (Blue and Black combined) to take on another team. I was saying to the B-team the other week that they’d really notice how well they gel when it switches from being Rocker v Rocker to being ‘us against them’. A game against an outside opponent is almost like a test that the games in training have been revision for. A test where you’re surprised by how much you actually know. There’s a lot of psychology to it.

A major thing about the Dec 10th intraleague is that it takes place at Brighton Corn Exchange. Yes! Woohoo, we’re playing in Brighton for the very first time! The Rockers have been going for almost seven years, hosting around two dozen public events in Haywards Heath or Shoreham.

Now we finally get to showcase roller derby in Brighton itself.

I’ve told loads of mates that have never been to any of our games. The moment I mention that this one is actually in Brighton, they go straight on their phones to buy tickets.

A lot of my friends are pretty lazy, so the thought of getting a bus to Shoreham or train to Haywards is a huge no-no, but walking down the road to the Corn Exchange is no problem.

It’s great that lots of people are going to get to see derby for the very first time. It’s nice that it’s in a venue like the Corn Exchange, right in the heart of the city next door to the Pavilion. How many sports events take place in there? I love the fact that the Brighton Rockers are seen as a cultural thing.

Being part of the community and breaking that barrier between arts and sport and culture is such a big thing for us.

We were the first sports team to be invited to participate in the

TEAM BLACK GO ATTACK...

“Team Blue are so dumb they wouldn’t know a star pass from a power jam. They are certainly not Racey – more like snail pacey the speed they can skate at. Hairy Fairy ain’t scary – when she blocks you you gently bounce off all her hair. Irish Mist is exactly that... mist.

She’s not all there.”

CAKE OR DEATH “We’ve been skating rings around them at training and this game will be no exception. Team Blue will all be singing the blues after they lose this game.”

EMMA THE CONDEMNER “Team Black are the bee’s knees. We’ve got the speed and agility, plus we hit proper hard. We’re also all incredibly good-looking.

Team Blue are named after the colour of the bruises we’ll be leaving them with.”

CAKE OR DEATH (AGAIN)

Brighton Fringe, which we’ve done for several years now (albeit not in Brighton itself). Also the first sports team on the cover of the local listings mag.

Now, we’re one of the first (if not THE first) sports events to take place in the Corn Exchange. It fits in with our ethos of trying to appeal to all walks of life, rather than just skating fans, sports fans or whatever.

So which team are you each benching? I’m Team Black with Maude Fondeo on lineups. The first half is between B-teamers, which I’m excited about as I don’t normally get to bench them. Farmergeddon is a player to look out for there.

Then the A-team inherits the half-time scores and plays out the second period. Team Black includes my mum’s favourite, awesome jammer Shambolic.

It’s me and Derby McGee on the Blue bench. A lot of the Bteam played their first game a couple of weeks ago and it will be really great to see how they step up. In the second half look out for Mighty Mouse, Hairy Fairy, the return of Dr Whooligan... just everyone, really.

You’ll be making changes to the usual derby ruleset for this Corn Exchange event?

Yeah, the track will be smaller than regulation size to fit the space available. It will be of different dimensions too, with some quite sharp hairpin bends – there are some large pillars that we want to avoid if we can! There’s not really enough width for four blockers, so each team will be fielding three.

We’re looking at maybe having penalties of 20 rather than 30 seconds, and generally scaling a lot of things down to around 75% of standard. We call this new format, which we’re sure will be a hit, ‘diddy derby’.

The venue website mentions live bands too. Yeah, we saw.

How cool is that? Of course if it’s a four-piece one of them will have to sit out each song.

Them’s the diddy derby rules.

NOT SURE WHICH INTRALEAGUE TEAM TO SUPPORT? TAKE OUR HANDY QUIZ BELOW AND ALL WILL BE REVEALED. 1. You’re watching roller derby in a central Brighton venue when an escaped lion bursts into the hall and runs on track. Do you: (a) Realising a lion’s just a big pussy cat really, unravel your jumper and offer it up as a ball of wool to play with. (b) Using ninja skills learned from watching Shambolic jam, drop from the rafters to knock out the lion and save the day. (c) Munch on popcorn whilst watching the grisly fates of people trying options (a) & (b).

2. It’s half time in the game and you really fancy a cupcake.

A 20-stone wrestler is about to grab the last one. Do you: (a) Using skills learned from watching Hairy Fairy block, casually hip check the wrestler into a nearby wall. (b) Realising a wrestler’s just a big baby really, take off your shoes and fashion them into a distracting cot mobile. (c) Forget about the cake. To be honest, you’re full after all the popcorn you had earlier.

3. It’s the final jam of the game and the team you’re supporting is four points behind. Do you: (a) Shout “Come on Team Blue!” loudly throughout the jam. (b) Yell “Go Team Black!” for the remainder of the game. (c) Using skills learned from watching LaserHammer referee, take off your socks and wipe your sweaty brow with them.

STAND ON YOUR HEAD TO READ THIS:

As the Rockers start to integrate their 2016 Fresh Meat graduates into the B-team, no rookie has made quite as much of an impression as FARMERGEDDON. We tracked her down to find out more...

, DDON ON UOPOK!IE) GEMERGEDDON (ROCKERS R FAR

What’s your background in skating pre Rockers? As a kid my cousin and I spent most of our time on skates, going to roller discos and knocking a hockey puck around together.

I didn’t skate much after 17, but he went on to play hockey for Southampton. A few years ago I dug my old Bauers out and started playing hockey at Moulsecoomb leisure centre on Sundays. It was great fun, but unfortunately they stopped running it. I really wanted to continue skating. I knew a few people who played derby and decided to give that a try. I’ve been hooked ever since.

You made your debut for the B-team last time out at the Dolphin. I thought I was going to be nervous, and I was a little bit in the run-up, but once we got started it was so much fun.

It was great playing against people we didn’t know, ie not knowing their strengths and weaknesses. I didn’t expect to jam as much as I did (I think I only blocked twice) and it was all over too fast. To win by a single point was amazing. The energy in the room in that last jam was intense!

Next up for Rockerbillies is Eastbourne’s new B-team. I think they’ll give us a run for

our money. Some of their Ateam came and helped us out a few months ago when we were short on numbers and they were great. All the Rockerbillies are looking strong. I’m amazed at the speed of improvement from all of us. Look out for Fellen E Assault jamming – she looks so chilled out with it all, just kinda sails through the pack.

Great footwork.

The week after’s the Corn Exchange intraleague. In a way it makes things a bit easier playing against your teammates as you know what to expect, but that can sometimes hold you back a bit. You might not want to take on someone you know hits hard, whereas you just go for it if you don’t know them.

Lots of Rockers are tipping you for future AllStars stardom. Not sure about that, but I’m really chuffed to have been asked to start training with the A-team. I recently had my first session with them and it looks like I’m going to France with them in January, which is terrifying but very exciting at the same time. They’re an awesome bunch of incredibly skilled skaters. I’ve still got so much to learn but the coaching is incredible and I’m improving every week. I started the sport quite late in life, so I just want to make the most of it before my body says no. I love it.

MY RESULTS ARE A THREE WAY TIE: Ah, you found a flaw in our quiz.

MOSTLY Cs: You’re as confused as a confuseberry. Cheer on both.

MOSTLY Bs: You’re as black as a blackberry. Back Team Black.

MOSTLY As: You’re as blue as a blueberry. Support Team Blue.

DEC 3RD PREVIEW

The A-team last played here at the Dolphin three weeks ago, losing 185-151 to Dutch side Rockcity Rollers. What do you recall of that game?

I actually reviewed the footage of that match yesterday. This is a new thing we’re going to be doing – filming our games and watching them back soon after.

I think that’s going to make us so much stronger at being able to hone in on any weaknesses we may have. That’s not just individually, but objectively as a whole team. There were differing strengths and weaknesses to our two line-ups against Rockcity, so we’ll be looking at how we can even those out.

Our blocking was really strong and solid. I think we’ll be looking at improving our jammer work across the team based on that performance, as well as building a bigger and better offence for future games.

E K A C F O E C E PI E

CAKE OR D

CKERS)

ON RO T H G I R B ( ATH

As Brighton face Milan, who better than the Rockers’ most fashion savvy blocker [is this correct?] CAKE OR DEATH to preview the game...

It’s rare to face the same team twice within a few months. How did that game compare to your 167-140 loss to Rockcity in Caen? Both teams have grown much stronger since the game in February, so it’s maybe not a big surprise there was a similar scoreline. As an experience, we were a lot more relaxed this time. Being at home helped, as well as not having the desperation we had when we met them in Caen – having lost our previous games in the tournament, we were perhaps too focused on winning at all costs!

Roller derby folk tend to move about a bit. We’ve seen quite a few big name players depart Brighton in the past eighteen months; Bash, Swann and Gin, to name just three. Is it difficult dealing with constant

change and never having the same squad of fourteen available? Perhaps in the first few games the Rockers ever played, we had the same – or at least, a very similar – squad.

Now it does indeed differ a lot from game to game. Of course it’s difficult losing players, but the flipside of that is players transferring in. Kapow came from Milton Keynes, for instance, and more recently Finn McCruel has joined us from Helsinki. So you have to constantly adjust, depending on the players you have available.

You may be losing a fast agile jammer at the same time as gaining a big solid blocker, for example, so that affects what you can do with your line-ups.

Integrating a new player into the Rockers can take a while as well, as they might be used to a completely different way of doing things at their previous league. It takes time to teach them our tactics. Plus with an overseas player like Finn, she has different names for tactics and formations to those we use, so that takes a little time to get used to. Then you also have the benefits of the different skills that people are bringing in.

We’re very lucky to have Finn involved in the coaching side now, since she’s introduced us to a whole load of new drills and ways of thinking that we hadn’t encountered before.

Looking ahead to today’s game against Milan Harpies (or last week’s game against Milan for anyone reading this at the Corn Exchange)...

Do you know anything at all about them as a team? None of us have seen them play in person and there’s very little footage of them online, so I can only comment based on the one video I found of them playing a year ago. They have nice agile, very nifty jammers, which for me personally is something I struggle with. I prefer to play against a big hitting jammer (someone like Bash or Gin, for instance, in Brighton terms) as playing against them has

taught me how to take their impact and weight, whereas a smaller, more agile jammer I have problems with. On the video I saw Kill B looks a big jamming threat, but that’s all any of us really know about Milan going into the game!

Do you prefer to play against a team you know well or someone you know absolutely nothing about? I personally prefer not to know. Particularly compared to playing against, say, the London Rockin’ Rollers, who we know so well... You can get a bit het up looking at the squad of a team like that, thinking ‘oh is such and such a player rostered, oh God they’re so good’...

At the end of the day, there’s a jammer on the line and thinking ‘oh it’s their number seven, she’s amazing’ isn’t going to help your blocking really, so I’d say that not knowing them and being able to play your own game is so much better!

So... do you want to predict the result of today’s Brighton v Milan game? We’ll buy you a pint if you get the exact right scoreline. OK! I’ve looked up stuff on Flattrackstats and I think it’s going to be a pretty close game. I’m going to go for 196-156 to Brighton.

Holy sh*t! This is Issue 18 of our magazine and (despite us asking in every issue) no player has ever actually been brave enough to predict a scoreline before! Usually it’s “I can’t possibly say, derby will be the winner” or whatever. Mind you, we’ve never offered a pint before.

Well, there you go... Also, when I win, can the pint be a pint of wine please? Thanks.

Looking back upon the last event at the Dolphin, what did you make of the B-team Rockerbillies’ game against Basinghampton? It was a very good game. Going into it, we were a little concerned that our B-team would be relying maybe too much on the better and more experienced players (the likes of Obliviator and Lab Wrath) but the whole group really pulled together on the day.

The only nerves I saw from the rookies making debuts was just before the game. They all looked like they were going to be sick! What can you say in that situation? Just go out there and do your best. Once they got onto the track, they all took everything in their stride and they enjoyed it. That’s something we try to instil in everyone who skates for us at every level. If you’re enjoying it, you will play better... as well as being more likely to win!

What can we expect from today’s B-team game against Eastbourne Cherry Bombs?

I think you’ll see more confidence from the Rockerbillies this time out. The rookies will know each other better as a team after their debuts. You can practice all you want together, but there’s nothing like that sense of communication and team bonding you get playing an actual game. The nerves and the reactions of the crowd really bring you together, so I think they’ll get in their stride now their first game’s out of the way. I’m not going to predict the scoreline though – not even for another pint of wine!

RANKINGS AND PREDICTIONS SAT 3RD DECEMBER GAMES

BY FLATTRACKSTATS.COM

BRIGHTON A: 81ST (570.4pts) MILAN: 112TH (542.0pts) BRIGHTON 75% CHANCE OF WINNING PREDICTED DIFFERENTIAL OF 53:37 SUGGESTS CIRCA 212-148 HOME WIN

BRIGHTON B: 310TH (449.5pts) EASTBOURNE B: UNRANKED EASTBOURNE A-TEAM (233RD/479.1) WOULD HAVE 66% CHANCE OF WINNING IF THAT HELPS PREDICT B-TEAM!

SAT 10TH DECEMBER GAME

BY BRIGHTONBRATS.COM

TEAM BLUE: ØÇӠTH (æı¤pts) TEAM BLACK: @8$TH (&¥±pts) TEAM BLACK 50% CHANCE OF WINNING PREDICTED DIFFERENTIAL OF 73:73 SUGGESTS CIRCA 139-139 BLUE DRAW EXCEPT YOU CAN’T DRAW IN DERBY SO LET’S JUST SAY UNPREDICTABLE

ALL STATS CORRECT AS OF 27/11/16

BUT E D Y B R E D ,

OR

O CONN E D A N E R G

Hi there. Turn Left started out as a songsheet (given out at a game nearly four years ago) which we invited any songwriters on our Facebook who had mentioned derby to contribute to. Of those people, one became a huge Rockers fan before moving to Vietnam, one is now a star jammer for Croydon (Agent Cooper) and the third has their first public game with Brighton on the 10th. That’s you. Nervous?

Excited? Ha ha that’s awesome. Yes I’m very nervous, very excited, but mostly feeling super privileged and surprised to be able to play a public game as part of the Brighton Rockers this month. I really did not expect that to happen this year!

When we last spoke (Issue 14) you were about to take your Minimum Skills. How did that go?

Minimums went well, yeah.

The rules test was a struggle but there are so many rules... does anyone really ever learn them all, ha ha. I played my first intraleague in September which was a definite highlight of my year. It really fired up my excitement for playing a

public game one day. I had no idea it would come round so soon! I did a boot camp hosted

by Croydon with some of the other rookies in October which really helped us all I think. It’s great experience playing with players from different leagues.

No one has ever made their Rockers debut in Brighton itself before. What do you know of the Corn Exchange?

I know it through gigs. I’ve no idea how it will be set up for derby, but I’m really excited about playing there. It’s going to be such a good vibe playing in our actual home town!

Any players we should look out for on the 10th? Farmergeddon is an absolute powerhouse. With her on Team Black we have a really good chance!

Opponents Team Blue include a couple of my peers from Fresh Meat (Fellen E Assault and Slap Dash) so it will be good fun to play against those guys.

BS M O B Y R R CHE

NCH BEAST (BE

COACH)

Is today the Cherry Bombs’ first ever game? Yes, it’s our debut game as Eastbourne’s Bteam! There are a few players with some games and scrims under their belts, but there are also a few with this being their first ever open door. I’m so excited to watch them play.

What’s the A-team/rookies mix like? There are a few that have good bout experience, but they’re being put in positions they aren’t normally used to (taking them out of their usual comfort zones) as well as some that have returned after time out. We have some fantastic rookies who flew through Minimum Skills. NewMatic Drill astonishes me every time I see her at practice or in a game

either moved on or moved up to the A-team. Farmergeddon is one to watch as a jammer, I know that much! I wouldn’t like to predict the result as derby is a notoriously unpredictable sport, but I’d obviously love the Cherry Bombs to win it.

– her skills improve every session, both as a blocker and a jammer. InnsterSlam is a jammer to watch; she has sharp shoulders and will surprise you with the power of her hits.

What plans do the Cherry Bombs have for 2017? We’re so excited and proud to have a B-team and be giving some less experienced players a chance to shine. Bullet (ERD coach) and Lily (Fresh Meat coach) have done such a fabulous job of training them, so we’ll be looking for games to push them forward as a team in 2017.

What do you know of the Brighton Rockerbillies team you’ll be facing? Care to predict the result? I’ve seen them play a couple of times.

They’re a great team. I think this time there’s a few players I’m less familiar with, since some of the regular faces have

Finally, any message for the Eastbourne fans in the crowd today? As always, enjoy the cake – we love cake!

Thanks for coming and supporting, and please shout out some love and encouragement for the Cherry Bombs team in their debut game.

ROLLER DERBY

is a full contact sport played on quad skates – except in Peru, where space hoppers are used.

Two teams of up to five players skate around a counter-concave ovuloid track knocking each other over. One player on each team has a star on their helmet (NB a drawing of one, not an actual gaseous celestial body). This player is known as The Marmalade.

THE NAME ROLLER DERBY

comes from the Latin rollus (wheel) derbis (punch-up).

Modern derby was founded in 2001 in the toilets of a bar in Texas, but primitive carvings suggest a similar sport was played in Wales as far back as 1998.

THE DIVOT

wears a stripe on their helmet. Their role is to wave their arms about frantically whilst shouting random words at teammates.

THE MARMALADE

scores a goal for each opponent they pass and can also score bonus goals (known as gurns) by pulling strange faces as they pass.

This page expertly drawed by Mr Adam

FIVE TO EIGHT

Newcastle United fans glide around the inner and outer track pointing and grunting. This is presumably part of a Government scheme.

CLIPBOARD PEOPLE (NESSIES)

look closely at the faces the Marmalades pull and award up to three points for each. Sometimes the Newcastle United fans will disagree with the marks that the Nessies award. In such cases the announcer shouts ‘official timeout’ and the crowd all go to the bar in the five minutes it takes for everything to start up again.

SIGNALS

Er, no idea.

ROLLER DERBYING is tiring work so players often go and sit down midmarmalade. These seats are hired by the second so they don’t sit long.

CKERS) O R N O PIES) T R H A G I H R N B ( A L Y I BS) R HAIRY FAI ELECTRIC LEMON (M MITY (CHERRY BOM vs vs CALE What was the last thing Who would be in your dream derby line-up of real people and/or fictional characters?

Hairy Fairy (Brighton Rockers): Let’s have The Mighty Mighty Bash jamming as she’s just never had enough time jamming. Then I would have Virginia Woolf and Brienne of Tarth (the big blond woman from Game Of Thrones) blocking – both strong, calm women.

Then let’s throw Beyoncé in there for a bit of fire – I imagine she’d be good at offence. Finally, Hillary Clinton as pivot. She could use some of her anger and she would be an incredible tactician. Can I have Michelle Obama as Bench Coach?

Electric Lemon (Milan Harpies): It would be extremely satisfactory to play in a pack of Gandhi (for the serenity), The Hulk (for the strength), Napoleon (for the strategy) and me, with The Flash as a jammer.

CalEmity (Eastbourne Cherry Bombs): It’s very gushy to say, but probably my own teammates. I love playing with these guys! Oh, and maybe She-Ra because she is awesome and could bring a unicorn.

Which Shakespeare play would be most improved if everyone was on skates?

A Midsummer Nights Dream with all those fairies – and who doesn’t want to see a donkey on skates? If the messenger sent by Friar Laurence (Romeo & Juliet) had worn skates on his feet, we wouldn’t have had to cope with a tragedy,

but we would also have seen a new soap opera come into the world. It would have to be Romeo and Juliet for me too.

How many sit-ups can you do? Enough but not too many.

I don’t know what you mean.

Once my teammate Rocky and I saw that Jamie from New Bournes (the Eastbourne junior league) had done 100 situps. I was doing her hair at the time, and she knew that in our ridiculously competitive way we would end up trying to outdo each other. We ended up doing 150 I think. Maybe 200.

7

LETTERS It’s random questions challenge time with answers from all three leagues playing at the Dolphin on Dec 3rd...

How many pizza boxes could you balance on your head while skating round a track, and have you tried? Never tried but I’m guessing 25-30 including the pizzas. If these are glued to my helmet, I can balance up to ten boxes Probably none! I’m not very co-ordinated, hence the name CalEmity.

(derby or non-derby) that you won? I won Best Blocker in the last game, which was a huge achievement for me. I’ve been working really hard again to change some stuff and get control on the track, and it’s beginning to pay off! I won the lottery, but no one knows! We won our last game against the Surrey B-team and I beat my kids at Monopoly often.

Do you have a special meal (or item of food) that you have to have before a game, and if so what is it? We all go for a team breakfast before a game, so usually I have some kind of Eggs Benedict. I *love* green stuff, so I also try to have tonnes of broccoli, spinach, greens and cabbage at some point before the game. I’m not sure how the team feel about this, as it makes me even more farty than usual. Martini drink.

Shaken not stirred. I have to have a banana. I panic if there are no bananas!

What colour, design or pattern do you wish roller derby kit (such as skates, pads or helmets) came in and why?

Black. All black. In fact I want that blackest black that only Anish Kapoor is allowed to use.

It sucks in 99.6% of all light that touches it. You would literally be a team of black holes!

No colour/pattern preference.

Leopard print, always! We’re pretty lucky at Eastbourne since Scabs actually make pads that match our bout tops.