Turn Left Issue 23

RESULTS SINCE THE LAST ISSUE

EDITED, DESIGNED AND WHATEVERED

BY ADAM PETERS. PHOTOGRAPHS BY RAGING BEAVER: FRONT COVER // VINCIANE PIÉRART AKA NSP 189: PAGES 3 (TOP), 10, 12 & 13 (PUCK) // JOHN HESSE: PAGES 3 (BOTTOM & REFS), 4 & 5 // GEORGE McKENZIE: PAGES 9 & 14 // VARIOUS BRIGHTON ROCKERS: PAGE 7 // KIDNEYTHIEF: BACK COVER // THANKS TO OUR INTERVIEWEES & PLEASE SUPPORT OUR ADVERTISERS – THEY MAKE THIS MAG POSSIBLE!

We were thinking of leaving the issue number off today’s cover, but ultimately felt that unfair to the many great skaters who have worn #23, past Rockers Gin Atomic and Banger amongst them.

The reason we considered it relates to last month’s Men’s Roller Derby World Cup Final in Barcelona, in which several members of Team USA Sharpied ‘23’ on themselves in honour of a teammate who had quit the side after several women had reported being sexually harassed by him.

This crass display reopened the wider debate about men’s derby. “Modern roller derby has grown from a feminist drive and desire for safe women’s spaces,” says Racey (whose big leaving interview begins on this page).

“Men have got thousands of other sports to choose from. Why do they need to play derby too?”

This issue looks at a happier event to take place in Barcelona (the recent Rockers game) and chats to some of the good guys in derby as five referees answer stupid questions as part of our Officials Special... GO ROCKERS!

FEB 24TH @ HAYWARDS HEATH Brighton A 150-235 Toulouse B Brighton B 193-237 Team Dragon MARCH 17TH @ BARCELONA Barcelona A 120-170 Brighton A

Today marks the final game for Rockers icon RACEY, who is heading off back to Australia with her family.

Turn Left caught up with her for this farewell interview...

K L A T Y E RAC

ERS)

WITH RACE

ROCK N O T H G I R Y (B

WHAT SORT OF A PUB doesn’t open until after 4pm?

Surprisingly, most of the ones just up the hill from Brighton train station. Planned interview venue the West Hill still has its door locked at quarter past, so Racey and Turn Left relocate to the back room of the Shakespeare’s Head, only just open itself. We kick off this chat by asking about her nickname...

“I started out with the London Rollergirls, where everybody calls each other by their skate names all the time,” says the individual formerly known as Danelle. “I didn’t realise that at other leagues such as the Rockers, the skaters (with a very few exceptions) usually go by their real names.”

“When I moved down here, I introduced myself to the other Rockers with a ‘hi I’m Racey’.

People were thinking, that’s a bit weird, but everyone said ‘hi Racey’ and that’s been my name in Brighton ever since.”

A lovely story, but that’s not quite the nickname we mean...

Some of the Rockers don’t call you Racey – they call you Racist. Is that because you’re a total racist? Racey: Absolutely. Big fan of Hitler, big fan of the BNP... No, it dates to shortly after I transferred to Brighton. The Rockers’ then bench coach Mass Janeycide attended a training session, having not yet been introduced to me. When other skaters were calling out ‘Racey’ to me on the track, she thought they were saying ‘racist’. She was really shocked and started asking the others why they were calling me that. The name just stuck from then on.

It’s really inappropriate, especially since a lot of the Rockers call me that in day to day life. I can still recall an occasion when my parents were over from Australia. We were walking along Lewes High Street on a really busy day. The Mighty Mighty Bash happened to be passing by on the other side of the road, saw me and started waving and shouting ‘hey Racist!’ My parents looked really confused and asked ‘er, why is that black woman shouting racist at you?’ Half of Lewes High Street was just staring at me, open-mouthed. At least I didn’t have a shaved head (as I do now) at that time.

Cheesy existential question: How do Racey and Danelle differ? Some people say their skate name is an alter ego that allows them to be someone different out on track. I don’t think I ever had that. I think Racey is who I generally consider my-

self to be. That’s the version of me I most admire, whereas Danelle is just the version of me that goes to work (the only place people call me that) and opens gas bills. I was actually thinking about this recently.

After today’s game, when I’m no longer playing derby any more, am I supposed to change my name back? That would be weird. Racey’s who I am now.

What lead you to take up derby in the first place? I’d been living in London for a few years. I saw an advert for one of LRG’s early-ish games, went along to watch and thought, yes yes yes, this is for me.

The next day I went on their website and signed up for the Recreational League and it all started from there. I’ve always loved skating. I skated a lot as a kid growing up in Oz, so derby was a perfect fit for me.

Are you surprised at how good derby in Australia has become, with the country now boasting the #1 team (Melbourne’s VRDL) and #2 national side in the world?

I’m not surprised in the sense that it’s such a sporty country, so there are always going to be people taking up any new sport there. What does surprise me is that they overcame the geographic isolation. Aussie derby leagues very rarely have guest coaches popping over from the USA, UK and Europe, so they had to grow the sport and skills by themselves, just using whatever they could find online.

Hats off to them for that!

How come you transferred from LRG to the Rockers? I moved from London to Brighton, basically. At first I naively thought that I could maybe still commute up to training in London three times a week, but on studying travel times and costs more carefully I realised that was a crazy idea, especially with Brighton having a great derby league of its own. So within a week of moving down I’d joined the Rockers.

How do the two leagues differ? LRG are such a big league and everything’s so regimented. You have to queue up for track time in training, for example. There were so many big name skaters there, I think I felt a little overwhelmed. I was only there for two years (one in Rec, one at C-team level) so I didn’t really relax into it.

Joining Brighton from the #1 league in Europe, I felt quite confident of my skills and train-

ing, plus everything’s so much more relaxed here. Being more chilled and a much smaller group, everyone at the Rockers quickly became my family.

Back then the Rockers only had an A-team and maybe 20-25 skaters in total. Is the family bonding still a thing now the league is maybe three times that size? It is.

Every year we grow a little with new Fresh Meat graduating. Maybe we’ll have a C-team before too long. It’s a much larger family now, but still has that same feeling of closeness.

So why the hell are you leaving? Again, it’s circumstance.

I’m moving back to Australia.

I think after eight years of playing derby that journey’s coming to an end now anyway. I made the decision whilst watching this year’s World Cup to officially retire. It’s an amazing sport, but I’m happy now to just watch other people play it.

We’re travelling to Oz by land, and I was at one point thinking of taking all my derby gear and guest skating in some of the countries we pass through, then joining Perth Roller Derby when I got home. It wouldn’t be the same, though. None of those people would be my family the way the Rockers are.

Bash said the same when moving back to NZ, but still dabbles in derby. I can’t see myself playing derby with a bunch of people I don’t have the same bond with, but I won’t stop skating. Chicks In Bowls have a Perth division. I’ve been following them on Facebook, and I’m going to get involved with that. It’s not roller derby, but it’s a female-led sports community on quad skates, so it’s similar in many ways.

Do you have a favourite away trip? Glasgow was a lot of fun.

We were staying in this grotty hostel. The fire alarm went off, and being such a loving family it was every skater for themself. It was a while before we

RACEY RELATIONS...

“I’ve shared a room with Racey while travelling a couple of times, and I have to say she’s not only a great teammate but also a really awesome roommate. A bit stinky but overall very nice.”

DOLORES DIABLO “Racey and I have been strong teammates, powerful league directors and great friends.

I feel our relationship has moved to a new level in that we rarely need to even speak to each other. We now only communicate via cat memes.

It’s working out just fine.”

MISTRESS VON ÜBER VIXEN “I moved to Australia to get as far away from Racey as possible. Now I’ve found out she’s coming back and I’m mortified. Oh well, at least it’s a big country I guess.”

GIN ATOMIC “I’m just so happy I never have to hear Racey’s whiney Australian drawl again.”

CHAKA CARNAGE

realised Sham (who’d spent the evening in hospital after being injured during the game) was still asleep hidden under her duvet. Luckily it wasn’t a real fire. I’m going to miss all those chaotic away trips!

Who are your top three favourite Rockers? You can only pick three. That’s not fair! My actual answer is everyone, but if you’re making me name just three... Hairy Fairy is in there. She’s the mum/ aunt and therapist of the team.

She’s so loving and caring and dedicated; also Chaka Carnage, purely because you can make so much fun of her – she’s such a dork and I get to laugh at her so much; Skate Bush, because she’s hilarious and her and Chaka combined are total comedy; and Finn McCruel, because she totally drives the team – she’s so motivated, always seeking out new tactics and coaching methods – and keeps us on track to the extent we’d be lost without her.

Yeah, I know I picked four not three. Stuff your rules!

Any parting words? It’s been the best years of my life so far being with those guys. It’s a cliché to say ‘roller derby saved my life’ but I often think what my life would have been like if I didn’t take this path.

It would have been a very different path, and I don’t think it would have been as joyous or as empowering as the roller derby path. It’s going to be really tough to leave.

I’ll miss Brighton itself, but that’s just a city, whereas the Rockers are my family. They are my everything and today is liable to get emotional. Chaka Carnage is on social committee and she knows how much I like a fuss, so there damn well better be a fuss. My other half and my little dude will be here too.

I imagine there will be tears afterwards. For now, I just want to focus on playing a really killer game, to leave having done my best, and to hopefully end my derby career with a win.

“Barcelona was brilliant, with sun, sangria, friends and derby.

What more could anyone want from a holiday? As our first ever WTFDA game we went into it strong, drilled and ready to show the world (rankings) what we were made of. It was a tough, physical and sometimes frustrating game, but we triumphed, and then in true Rockers style won the before, during and after parties.”

SKATE BUSH

The Rockers A-team headed off to sunny Barcelona in March for Brighton’s first ever official WFTDA game.

Here are reminiscences from some of those who were there...

“We played a very fair game and not only won but got to try some new tricks that we’ve been working on. It felt like all the hard work paid off big time.

I think we all had an amazing time. There was a lot of partying and checking out the beautiful city. Travelling as a team is such a lovely experience and we get to know each other a bit more. Especially for newer members like me, it’s crucial to feel like you really belong.”

DOLORES DIABLO

“As a new crossover player I was excited to attend the Brighton Rockers’ first WFTDA game and hang out with everyone. It’s so fun to visit another country for a game, especially such a lovely and warm one!

My friends back home were well jel of our photos skating in the sun. The whole trip was a lovely mix of skating, sunbathing and eating. The evening before the game we chose to bring along a dish each for ‘pot luck’ so we could plan, strategise and eat together to keep focused and prepare.

My favourite day was when we went off exploring the city on skates. Barcelona is a beautiful city and it was a dream to skate along the sea front soaking up the views. I managed to fall big time whilst trying to take a tourist pic. Bruise alert!

[There might be a photo somewhere on these pages.] Big up to Barcelona Roller Derby for inviting us over. Loved it!”

YORKSHIRE BREW-SER

“We had a real blast in Barcelona. There was sangria, 30 inch pizzas, us looking like eejits with our selfie sticks, skating through the Gothic Quarter where a certain someone (not mentioning any names, ahem Yorkshire Brew-ser) fell on her bum... Heck, we even found time to squeeze in the game!

We were really pleased with the result. We were expecting a close game and a narrow win, but certainly not 50 points (170-120). It was a great day.

We all stayed super calm and worked together as a team... and it paid off. My fave moment was probably just chilling out in the sun on our terrace eating banana pancakes!”

CHAKA CARNAGE • The Rockers A-team have an unofficial WFTDA world ranking of 237th after Barcelona. They need to play two further WFTDA games (today’s v Lutèce being one) to get an official ranking.

The Rockers in Barcelona:

A weekend of skating...

...spectating...

...boozing...

...bruising...

...sewing...

...and whoa-ing.

ALS OFFICI L SPECIA

To kick off our Officials Special we’ve randomly allocated questions vaguely based on penalty cues to five of today’s referees...

S N O I T S E U Q E CU RAS

BY ZEB R E D R E L L E RO

WITH FIV

LASERHAMMER STRAPPING YOUNG BEARD FOREARM: What would you do differently (in derby and life) if you had four arms? In derby I could certainly jam ref a lot easier. As for real life, I could play guitar whilst working, and that would keep my workmates happy for sure!

CUT: If you could instantly cut one thing/practice/whatever out from roller derby, what would it be and why?

I would cut skate outs. Controversial I know, but they just waste time and if the game day is running behind, they’re the first thing to be cut anyway!

ILLEGAL PROCEDURE: Pick one ‘procedure’ (ie established or traditional way of doing things) in life that you would like to see made illegal. Does the ridiculous extra costs added on when you buy tickets of almost any kind count? Because if so, that.

DIRECTION: Roller discos often sound a horn for everyone to skate clockwise (rather than anti) for a bit.

Would you support the same thing being introduced to roller derby games? Certainly not! Roller derby players spend hours calculating the Coriolis force at the latitude of the venue, then carefully adjusting skate set-ups to compensate. Going the other way just wouldn’t work.

MULTIPLAYER: If you could clone one sportsperson (in derby or any other sport) who would it be and why? I’d clone Daniel Ricciardo, multiple times. An army of cheerful Australian Formula 1 drivers would be great for getting all the internet orders delivered.

EXPULSION: If you could expel one person, one organisation and one product from the planet, which three would you pick? Me, Space X and some good Scotch. Or have I misunderstood the question?

REFEREE DAHMER LOW BLOCK: What’s the lowest thing you think you could ‘limbo dance’ under on skates? And have you tried? I don’t think my attempting to limbo dance (on skates or not) would go well for me. Hang on, is this a trap?

They’re gonna try to make me do it at the next after party, aren’t they? I’m onto you....

HEAD BLOCK: If you could have the (sentient) head in a tank of one famous person from history in your room to give you advice on derby etc, who would you choose? Do they have to be already dead or can we harvest those still around? If so, I think Igor Maniac would be a good shout for obvious derby reasons. Wait, does he count as famous? Does derby famous count? If not, perhaps Bill Hicks. He’d be terrible for the derby advice, but in general he was a pretty switched on guy and exceptionally funny. I miss Bill Hicks.

ILLEGAL CONTACT: Apparently NASA have sent a message into deep space with classical music, maths stuff and a happy greeting. If you could illegally add something to this ‘first contact’ beacon, what would it be?

If you’d have asked me this a few weeks ago, I’d have said the zodiac killer’s z340 cipher for them to figure out, but that is now thought to be a fake cipher, so that’s out of the window. Maybe just pleas for advice on how to sensibly govern ourselves. Right now I think we need all the help we can get.

MAIN PHOTO POSED BY MODELS

DANGER RUSS LEG BLOCK: If you could kick one building/structure off Earth and onto the Moon, which would it be and why?

Actually, I’m a bit of an architecture buff on the side, so this is easy to answer. I would kick Hove Town Hall off the Earth.

It’s a concrete monstrosity totally out of keeping with the surrounding architecture.

ILLEGAL POSITION: Which place or building etc in the world (that you’re not normally allowed in) would you most like to be a fly on the wall in and why? MI6 headquarters in London, because it’s full of secrets and I’m sure there’s a lot more going on in that building than even the Prime Minister knows. WFTDA Rules committee room comes a close second though!

MISCONDUCT: Where and when have you most misbehaved at a roller derby after party? Well, as we all know, officials always win the after party. I’m going to have to pick dancing on a bar next to the now president of WFTDA at the afterparty for SKOD (A Skate Odyssey) in Belgium five years ago. We left at 6am.

SI-BORG BACK BLOCK: Which fictional character would you most want to ‘have your back’ when going into a difficult situation? I think I’d like Penfold to have my back because that would mean that I’m Danger Mouse and I get to wear a white one-piece and be narrated by David Jason.

HIGH BLOCK: What’s the highest number of people (whether piled lengthwise or on top of each other is up to you) that you reckon you could jump over on skates?

And have you tried? Hmmm, that’s tricky... I reckon I could jump over at least half a dozen people, although I have never tried... and the number should probably be reduced if everyone is to remain injury free.

INTERFERENCE: Which TV or radio programme do you most wish was replaced by static/interference for ever more and why? That’s easy: Steve Wright in the Afternoon.

A show that was at the end of its shelf life in 1993 and yet somehow is still on the air being cringy and unfunny (no G)!

Hi there. For anyone who might not understand the role of NSOs, what exactly do you do on a game day? There are several different roles and there can be up to twelve NSOs per game. We do things like timing penalties, tracking the score, operating the scoreboard, keeping track of which skaters get which penalties... and of course, timing the jams and the game overall.

Is there a hierarchy of NSO positions? To some extent.

For example, there are three people (usually) working in the penalty box; a penalty box manager and two penalty box timers. As the name suggests, the manager is in charge of the box overall. The hierarchy is fairly informal and it is only to help things run more smoothly.

As a Head NSO I think there are four key positions where you want experienced NSOs if possible; scoreboard operator, penalty box manager, jam timer and penalty tracker. Head NSOs usually take an inside track position so they can keep an eye on everything, so I often penalty track or jam time when I’m HNSO. When I’m not Head NSO, I like the penalty box or score tracking... Basically, I like all the roles and I’m lucky enough to get to do all of them at some point.

Is it a lot of people to organise on a game day? Putting on a game is a lot of work and takes effort from everyone, but I have been incredibly lucky to join a well established league with lots of dedicated people.

I run regular training/practice sessions for NSOs when the A and B-teams have their monthly intraleague scrim. That prepares people for game days.

Hippy Hippy Skate was usually the HNSO at games before I joined, but she skates on the A-team now so I usually do it.

She is still the League’s HNSO and I’m her deputy. She had everything running smoothly so I just needed to pick up the reins from her... Easy really!

Got Clipboard, Will Travel...

HISSING HELLCAT talks NSOing.

N U F O S TEAM N KERS NSO) LLCAT E H G N I S S HI

Is it beneficial having a high level NSO like Eastbournebased Pettichoke nearby? It certainly is. Funny you should mention Petti actually as she is definitely an NSO star and someone I look up to. I always tell new NSOs about her because she frequently comes to Brighton games (and scrims) to help out and is always really happy to offer tips and support.

I encourage anyone working with her to soak up her knowledge like a sponge! She has taught me a lot.

I’ve also learned loads from Hippy Hippy Skate and my very first NSO coach, Mr Trick from the B-Town Brawlers, who taught me how to score track. That was the first NSO job I ever did. It was a closed door event between the Rockers and the Norfolk Brawds in early 2015 and I was hooked!

(ROC

to be. The first step is to come along to a scrim and learn the basics. You don’t need to know anything at all about the game to start out – we can teach you everything you need to know!

You’re also involved with the other Brighton derby league, the B-Town Brawlers, Europe’s first truly gender inclusive derby league. How does the set-up there differ? Brawlers is much smaller than the Rockers and is more laid back. We skate more for fun than anything. We do have a few skaters who have passed Minimum Skills and sometimes go to open scrims, but we don’t have enough people to make up a team yet. Several of the Brawlers regularly NSO for the Rockers and we even have one member training to be a ref, so hopefully you’ll see them in stripes for a game in the not too distant future!

NSO Any advice for anyone interested in NSOing? It’s a great way to be involved in the game without skating and is a lot of fun. You get to see the action close up and to understand the rules (eventually). NSOs are always in demand and we usually get cakes or sweets! You can be as involved as you want

Finally, if you could magic up one WFTDA rule change what would it be? I don’t dare suggest any more rule changes! It seems like the rules are constantly changing. Actually, maybe that would be my suggestion; a new rule that states there can’t be any more rule changes for at least five years!

S N O I T I D N O C CE

LUTÈ

REUSES) ’s T S A C N E S hton ROYEUSE s Brig

A and ’s a . Here oday Lutèce ader t m .. e o . h r e f u e g l s a b is le valent r ue dou i a g u P a q e e e l two on th their wdown It’s a s face the lo B-team

CAPUTRA

(LU

TÈCE DEST

Can you tell us a little about the history of your league?

The Lutèce Destroyeuses were founded in 2011 by Carmen Cru-elle, Dropkick Droogie and Poka-on-Trash, with the help of Judge Fredd. The league held their first scrimmages that autumn and played their first game at the Open Rolling Contest in Rouen in February 2012. In 2016, after two years in the French Championships Nationale 2, the Encastreuses (Lutèce A team) won promotion to the Nationale 1, which allowed the B-team Les P’tites Frappes to join Nationale 2.

What’s the derby scene like in Paris/France? The French fans seemed the noisiest at this year’s World Cup in Manchester! Indeed, French fans are noisy! In Paris, there are many roller derby leagues and officials, so there are a lot of events throughout the year with loud crowds full of fan signs. The sport has really taken off all over France. In 2015 the first French Championships were created with three levels: Elite, Nationale 1 and Nationale 2. France finished sixth out of 38 teams in the World Cup. What are Lutèce’s hopes and plans for the next few years? The league has been growing and we are planning to create a C-team which is a

big change for us. Our B-team recently finished their first season in the French Championships. It was difficult but it enabled the team to improve, and our players can’t wait to participate next year and meet other teams. Our A-team has the willpower to improve our WFTDA ranking and is aiming to move up from Nationale 1 to the Elite division in France.

Do you know much about the Brighton Rockers? We know they’re above us in the WFTDA ranking on Flattrackstats, and also that they recently beat the Barcelona team we narrowly lost to in November. We think it will be a tough game and we can’t wait to play!

Any Lutèce A-team players or tactics that spectators should look out for? Our jersey colour is orange. We hope that the Brighton players’ eyes will be dazzled and that they won’t see our jammers. Really there are no special tactics. We play the basics of roller derby and try to have as few penalties as possible. Each player has their own style of playing which enriches the team.

Anything we should look out for in the B-game? There is this tactic that we try to do at every game. It’s called a Lucas after one of our beloved refe-

rees. When a blocker takes out the jammer and recycles her at the back of the pack, she says ‘Lucas out’ and all the others blockers bridge to extend the recycle. When the jammer gets back in play, the blocker says ‘Lucas in’ and the other blockers return to her and the jammer, in order to create a ‘pack is back’. Then the other team’s blockers are out of play and our jammer can free herself!

Flattrackstats expects both games to be really close.

What do you think? We hope it will be close as those are the most interesting games to play. We also hope that it will be a fun day with a good atmosphere. We’ve never met the Brighton league before and we’re looking forward to it.

Do you have anything else planned for your trip over?

One of our players has been to Brighton, so we’ve been told good places to visit. The Lanes and North Laine for shopping, and to eat and drink: Milk No Sugar, The Plant Room, Food For Friends, Pompoko and the Marlborough pub. There are also a lot of bicycle paths so maybe we will skate a bit.

Do you have any message for Lutèce fans in the crowd today? Have fun watching the game and support both teams.

RANKINGS AND PREDICTIONS FROM FLATTRACKSTATS.COM

FOR THE A-TEAM GAME BRIGHTON A: 64TH (604.0pts) LUTÈCE A: 51ST (614.7pts) LUTÈCE A 52% CHANCE OF WINNING PREDICTED DIFFERENTIAL OF 32:31 SUGGESTS CIRCA 160-155 AWAY WIN

FOR THE B-TEAM GAME BRIGHTON B: 283RD (461.1pts) LUTÈCE B: 253RD (470.9pts) LUTÈCE B 52% CHANCE OF WINNING PREDICTED DIFFERENTIAL OF 44:43 SUGGESTS CIRCA 186-182 AWAY WIN THESE STATS ARE CORRECT AS OF 25/04/18 EUROPEAN RANKINGS ARE USED THROUGHOUT [BRIGHTON A UNOFFICIALLY PLACE 237TH IN WFTDA WHILST LUTÈCE A ARE 255TH – THIS GIVES BRIGHTON A 69% CHANCE OF VICTORY]

1. Lutetia (Lutèce in French) is the Roman name for Paris. The Roman name for Brighton is Hipivegans.

2. Leonard Cohen covered ‘The Partisan’ which is an anagram of ‘Paris Thetan’, though the song is about WW2 Resistance not Scientology.

3. The Catacombs of Paris are 18th century underground burial grounds, rather than feline grooming products.

4. The best video game ever Bioshock Infinite features key NPCs the Lutece twins.

5. Parisian songwriter Serge Gainsbourg’s best song is ‘La baigneuse de Brighton’ and we’re in no way biased.

7

LETTERS CKERS) O R N O T H EE (BRIG R P S YEUSES) Y O T R L T E S E D CRU E (LUTÈC M U O B K C If you won the lottery what vs PU would you do with all the If you had to eat five of the same fruit or veg a day, what would it be? Cruelty Spree (Brighton): Firstly, five a day isn’t enough. Eat those veggies people! If I were being practical I’d say bananas as I eat a lot. If I were being hypothetical I’d say get me some mangos or cherries or avocados.

Boom! Puck Boum (Lutèce): Figs. Figs are super tasty and you can cook them in many different ways, both sweet and savoury. I just love figs.

Do you support any non derby sports teams? If any of my family read this then I am a lifelong fan of Chelsea FC (please do not test me on any Chelsea FC knowledge). Does pair figure skating count? I really like the Shibutani siblings. I also watch ice hockey – now I realize it’s all sports on skates!

What’s your favourite type of hat? A big bobble hat. Being both practical and stylish I can’t be without one during the winter months. See also earmuffs. Beanies. They’re super comfy and perfect for hiding a terrible haircut or sweaty hair after a derby game/training.

Which teammate would you be happiest stuck on a desert island with? Yorkshire Brewser as they have many skills acquired in Scouts which I think would help me to survive. Also they tan well. Tricky... Tartampon and Clashmere, because of Slytherin solidarity. They’re cool and I think they’d help me survive on a desert island – I certainly wouldn’t on my own!

money? I’d quit my job (sorry NHS) and set up a retreat. I would travel the world, rescue animals and learn about all the things I’m interested in. I would spend my days adopting animals, being outside and being crafty. Obviously I’d buy the Rockers a cracking venue, do loads to promote derby, and sort my family and friends out.

If there was anything left, I’d think about charities and try to buy world peace or something.

I’d adopt 10,000 cats and buy a house just for them. Then I’d establish a dedicated derby facility in Paris (so we don’t have to change gyms all the time, skating on soft flooring in overheated rooms) and buy lots of derby gear, so everybody has the opportunity to play!

Should political elections be decided on the derby track?

EVERYTHING should be decided on the derby track. Derby promotes an egalitarian society, so all its players are ethically sound. Thus whoever wins is basically the Green Party and everyone lives happily ever after. Probably not, but if roller derby was involved in politics, we’d probably get more funding for training and everything, which would be nice.

What do you wish you’d done as a child to prepare for derby? I wish I hadn’t started smoking! Learn how to skate on quads. I remember the time it took just to learn how to skate properly before playing derby. It was a time filled with many falls, and I wouldn’t have minded skipping that!

the p with H... ches u t D CRUS a L c O C t f t e r L o p n m r i Tu ish s’ Dan Rocker

H S U R C I D N A SC KERS)

TON ROC SH (BRIGH

COLD CRU

What were your highlights of that game and trip? The biggest highlight was obviously that we won the game.

It was so nice to be part of the team and celebrate the victory with a great night out in Barcelona. Besides the game, I was just really happy to get to know everyone from the team better. We had a lot of fun hanging out on the terrace in the sun and I think we all felt like we were on holiday!

We understand you might be playing in both games against Lutèce today. What are the main differences between the two levels? For me personally, the main difference is the position I’ll be playing. In the B-team game I’ll mainly be blocking, whereas I’ll only be jamming in the A-game.

Hi there. You fairly recently transferred to the Brighton Rockers. What’s your background in roller derby? I’m one of the many people who started playing after watching Ellen Page and Drew Barrymore kick ass in Whip It. I didn’t know anything about roller derby before then, so it was like entering an entire new world, although I’d skated a bit on inlines when I was younger.

I’ve been playing derby for about 1.5 years now.

You joined Brighton from Copenhagen Roller Derby and Speedy Gonzalex moved in the other direction. Is that like those player swap deals they have in football?

Yeah, there was a good couple of million quid involved. I’m afraid I can’t really go into details... Speedy Gonzalex’s boots are tough boots to fill but I’m doing my best!

How does the league set-up at Brighton differ from at Copenhagen? There aren’t any massive differences between the two. The way the training is structured here is a bit different though. On Thursdays we do one hour of

jamming, one hour of blocking and one hour of ping pong [a packwork drill that involves revolving jammers on the starting straight] or other scenario drills. In Copenhagen it was a bit more mixed and we never did ping pong. I really love ping pong – it’s super fun and also challenging. That’s definitely a thing that I think Copenhagen should start doing!

What position do you prefer and how would you describe your derby playing style?

Any particular Rockers that you work well together with?

When I first began playing for the B-team in Copenhagen I was only blocking. Last autumn I started to jam, and since then I must admit that jamming is definitely my preference.

I would describe my playing style as quite jukey and strategic (at least that is what I’m aiming at). I love skating with all the Rockers... and I work really well with Diablo. She does killer offence for me that gets me through every time!

The Rockers recently played their first WFTDA game, away in Barcelona, scoring a 50-point win (170-120).

Today’s A-team game is the Rockers’ first home WFTDA game. Do you know much about your Paris-based opponents? To be honest, I don’t know much about Lutèce at all.

I haven’t played or seen them before, but I have heard that their level is very similar to ours, so I expect that we’ll all have to work really hard.

Any thoughts about the Bteam game? Flattrackstats reckons both games are going to be really close. Is that what you expect? I’m a bit superstitious and I believe that predicting the results gives bad luck, so I think I’ll stick to just expecting that both the A and B-teams will smash it!

Finally, what are your general roller derby ambitions and what are you hoping to achieve with the Rockers?

Well, I made a deal with my friend in Denmark that we’ll be playing at the next World Cup, so I think that’s my main goal.

I already feel that I’ve learnt a lot from playing with Brighton Rockers these past months, and I hope that I can contribute to the many wins I’m sure we’ll have in the future.