RESULTS SINCE THE LAST ISSUE
EDITED, DESIGNED AND WHATEVERED BY ADAM PETERS. PHOTOGRAPHS BY RENATE SCHWARZMÜLLER: FRONT COVER // JOHN HESSE: PAGES 3 (MAIN PICS), 4, 5 & 11 // PERSON SITTING NEXT TO SWANN AT SOME JEFF GOLDBLUM JAZZ GIG: PAGE 3 (BOTTOM LEFT) // EM O’SULLIVAN AKA WINGARDIUM FURIOSA: PAGES 6 & 7 // BIGKIDTTL: PAGE 8 // BATH ROLLER DERBY: PAGE 9 (GRIEF) // THANKS TO ALL OF OUR AWESOME INTERVIEWEES & PLEASE SUPPORT OUR LOVELY ADVERTISERS – THEY MAKE THIS MAG POSSIBLE!
You should find an awards voting form inside this issue. Use your vote wisely, yeah? Although with the A-team not playing today, will we see B and C-teamers in the running for the main Jammer, Blocker and Player gongs? You might have noticed this issue is a bit thinner than usual (despite being on thicker paper!). Why? Because our lovely friends at Meadow Yurts – who have advertised in every issue of this mag – done gone retired. We try to cover 80% of our printing bill with advertising money. Thus a lost ad means lost pages. We’ve crammed in as much as we possibly could, but had to lose the back page poster. Soz. We are on the lookout for one or two more advertisers (if you know of anyone please get in touch – is super cheap) and can hopefully bring the page count back up for future issues. In other news, former Rockers star Swann recently met one of her all-time heroes, Hollywood hunk Jeff Goldblum. She chose just the right outfit for this important event... GO ROCKERS!
MAY 5TH @ HAYWARDS HEATH Brighton A 164-265 Lutèce A Brighton B 116-299 Lutèce B JUNE 3RD @ GUILDFORD Surrey A 246-177 Brighton B JUNE 10TH @ LONDON (Closed Door) LRR A 227-184 Brighton A OCTOBER 13TH @ VIENNA Vienna A 291-166 Brighton A Vienna B 205-196 Brighton B
Looking back (and forwards) with SLAP DASH and FELLEN E ASSAULT...
D R O C E R K C A TR WITH SLAP
SAULT
D
N E AS E L L E F & ASH
Hi there. How was 2018 for the Rockers A-team? Fellen E Assault: I think Barcelona was a big highlight. The trip there was really fun and we won, which helps. I don’t think we were expecting to do as well as we did. As for A-team lowlights, probably the game in Vienna. I don’t think we expected to come out victorious, but I think we were hoping it was going it to be a lot closer than it was. Slap Dash: It was very close in the first half. Fellen: I think that’s part of why it was so frustrating. It was still close at half time, then it just slipped away from us, which is a shame. We didn’t really get to show off all the things we’ve been working on. They got at us; then we were a bit flummoxed, and we didn’t play as well as we have been. Slap: We’ve also had a lot of changes on the A-team in that a few people have retired or moved on, and that’s changed the team a little bit. Players such as myself and Go Go
Gozer have stepped up from the B-team, but obviously it’s going to take a bit of transition time before we settle in at that A-team level. Of the five A-team games with published scores this year, Barcelona was the only win. Some of the four losses were pretty heavy. Is there any upside to that? It’s given us things to focus on. We’re taking something away from every game, in terms of how we’ve done as a team and what tactics the opponents have used to beat us. We then incorporate that into our training, working on the things we identified as our weaknesses in those defeats. While it’s obviously not good to lose, especially not a lot of games in a row, in the longer term it’s helping us identify things that will make us a stronger team. Obviously it’s not just those five games either. The A-team have played a lot of closed door matches too that have flagged up strengths and weaknesses. One big 2018 event is the A-team now have an official world ranking (288th). It’s been a long process to get there, having first applied for WFTDA membership four years ago. What benefits does this bring? There’s been so much work put in by people to get us to this stage, and we as a league really appreciate the effort those people have put in. It’s really exciting. We’re getting a lot more teams offering us games now, and it’s going to open up opportunities to travel to places we maybe wouldn’t have gone before. Brighton haven’t played anyone from outside Europe. With a world ranking can you see yourself taking on teams in, say, North America (the home of roller derby)? At the moment I think that’s a bit of a pipe dream in terms of the travel costs involved. Sending the team across the Atlantic wouldn’t be cheap! Looking
further ahead, who knows? I don’t think we’d go that far for one game, but if it was something like a tournament (playing three or four teams over a weekend) then maybe. The Rockers were founded on Valentine’s Day 2010, so we have our tenth anniversary coming up in a little over a year. Perhaps taking on opposition from further afield is something we could consider as part of that celebration, with a lot of time to prepare and build up to, but at present a US tour isn’t really financially viable! And how was 2018 for the B-team? My highlight was definitely our game in Vienna. That was real proof of how much the B-team has grown and developed this year. I was one of maybe three or four of us who’d played in the previous B-team match against Vienna [in Haywards Heath early last year] and it was such a difference in score. We’d lost by 135 at home, but then by less than ten points in Austria. Several of our more experienced
B-teamers fouled out, but the rest of the team were able to keep up a really high standard right through to the end of the game. It was so close right up until the final minute. People reading this who aren’t aware of how roller derby rankings work might be surprised to learn that, although you lost in Vienna, the difference in score was so much smaller than expected that you actually climbed 66 places in the European table as a result! Yes, I was so happy! It was like the best loss ever. Vienna B were ranked so much higher than us. The ranking computer expected them to beat us by maybe 150 or 200 points, which is why that nine point loss felt more like a victory to us. B-teams are tricky to accurately rank compared to A-teams; with players moving up and others joining, B-teams often change in level from one game to the next. When the double header in Vienna was arranged, I guess it was based on the respective A-
teams being closely matched, whereas the B-team on paper probably expected their game to be a wipeout. Instead it was the exact opposite of that. It couldn’t have been a better or more exciting B-team contest. I have to say a big thank you to the coaches as this year they have dedicated a lot of time in training to working on B-team skills. That has massively paid off. For those of who are moving up to A-team as well, that extra work on the B-team means the transition is easier. It’s still a jump, but not as big or scary a jump as it would have been. I think the future is very bright for the Rockerbillies, and I’m really looking forward to today’s game against Bath Roman Rollers. So what are you expecting from the Brighton v Bath Bteam clash today? I think it’s going to be a really interesting game. Although Brighton are higher ranked, Bath have just come off playing in the South West Series tournament where they faced some very high level B-teams, so they will have learnt a lot from that. I’m hoping we’ll see some good tactical play from the Rockerbillies. It will be great if we can showcase everything we learned from Vienna to our home crowd. I think it will be quite a close game. Hopefully people will be able to get a feel for just how much the B-team has developed over the past year. Controversially, no A-team game today? Indeed. With our new C-team playing, we wanted to make it about them really. They’ve been training hard for nearly a year now, and it’s nice that they can share that experience of making their ontrack debuts with all their family and friends there to watch. As an A-teamer I think it’s nice that we get to have a little rest! I’m really excited to see the Cteam play. They’ve worked so hard this year, and I can’t wait for them to show the crowd the skills they have learned.
NEW SPECTATOR TIPS There are a lot of folk here today (eg mates of C-team debutants plus an internet meet-up group we know of) who have never seen roller derby before. Any advice for them? “Oh Lord haha. I’d say first off pick up one of our handy explainer sheets from the ticket desk. That’s got the main rules on it. Today is a good event for watching derby for the first time, particularly the C-team game. That will be a lot slower than higher level derby, so it will be easier to get an idea of what’s going on.” FELLEN E ASSAULT “Focus on the jammers (the players with stars who score the points) initially. See what they’re doing and link that up with the points being added to the scoreboard. There are a lot of really odd penalties. Don’t try to work out why players are being sent off track during play. A lot of that can confuse players let alone spectators!” SLAP DASH
Any B-teamers playing for the Cs? No, it’s a completely new team. Four or five of them do attend the B-team’s weekly training, but the whole C-team is a separate group of skaters. Their opponents are people from various other roller derby leagues who have each played between zero and three games, so it will be interesting to see who’s on that team too. So who should the crowd look out for on the C-team? Keep an eye on Adios AimeeGo. She’s really improved in the past couple of months and I think will be an important part of the team. Also Deathblade, who is an incredibly good jammer and should hopefully rack up a load of points today. There’s such a range of different skills in C-Side. You’ve got people who are good at jamming, people who are great at one specific aspect of blocking, people who are good at ontrack communication... I think they’ll all impress you in one way or another. It’s great having them all come up as a team together for a collective first game, rather than having people making their debuts for the B-team one or two at a time or whatever. It will be such a good team bonding experience. Any advice for the C-team based on your own debuts? Don’t be nervous. Impossible. I feel nervous now just thinking back to it! I was terrified. Try not to get too worked up or too worried. At the end of the day it should be fun. There will probably be times on track – there certainly were when we first played – when you’re thinking ‘Oh my Gawd, what am I doing, everything’s gone to pot’, but just try and enjoy it. If things go wrong, don’t panic. It’s fine. You come off, reset, then just go on for the next jam like it never happened. Try not to worry about the audience. Just play to the best you can. We’ve seen you all play and you’re all incredible. We’ll be there cheering you on.
I STARTED SKATING FROM SCRATCH with the Rockers, originally joining the league’s Fresh Meat programme three years ago. I was part of the league for a year, but had to drop out due to life getting in the way. I rejoined this year. I’ve always liked competitive sports, and can’t imagine anything more boring than just going to the gym. My background is in judo and Medieval sword fighting, but I’d never tried a team sport before. I found out about the Rockers from my friends, retired Brighton players Dr Whooligan and Hyde ‘N’ Shriek. They made me go to the taster session and the rest is history! My derby name is a play on words combining two things I like: the video game series Assassin’s Creed and the historic honey wine (which I make). In terms of playing style, I’m too slow for a jammer, but with a good low centre of gravity. I’m not sure what that suits, since this is still a learning curve, so
the full potential of my talents are yet to be discovered... or bruised into shape! I think that ultimately I will be a blocker. The hardest thing with playing derby is the time commitment; the work-life-derby balance is tough to achieve! Once I’m at training I love it, but sometimes getting there can be tricky. It’s great to have amazing coaches and a lovely team to support you all the way. That makes learning everything easier and helps us to persevere at those times we doubt ourselves and our ability. As for today’s game, I expect to be exhausted by the end of it. I think we’ve come a long way recently in terms of team cohesion (previously it was more about individual survival) so I think we stand a good chance of winning. I fear the levels of stamina required though, so I guess we shall see!
Today sees the launch of the brand new Brighton C-team. We caught up with some of these freshly minted (and meated) Brighton players ahead of their debut game this afternoon against the mixed league Paindeers roster...
along the seafront without making a total idiot of myself, so I looked up skating on the internet and came across the Rockers. We started to watch a few games and soon became addicted. I love the sport’s inclusivity. Everyone is friendly and caring; we’re like one big family. My favourite derby position is brace and I like blocking in general. I love to see teammates mastering a new skill as everyone continually improves, and I enjoy bringing some fun to our training sessions.
C-SIDE STORIES
I JOINED FRESH MEAT in January. At that point I was able to skate forwards and could only stop by slamming into a wall! I came to roller derby later than most people. I was retiring from football refereeing and looking for a sport to get involved in with my partner, Adios AimeeGo. I really wanted to be able to skate
HAVING DONE MY FRESH MEAT a few years ago I loved it, but I hit some hard times early on with injuries and personal stuff. I ended up taking a year off and might not have made my way back to the league if it wasn’t for my girlfriend G-Force. She wanted to learn how to skate and after dusting off my kit, it hit me how much I’d missed it. So I started with a clean slate at Fresh Meat this year and I’m so glad I did. The Rockers are a mad bunch of wonderful people who welcomed me back with open arms and I’ve made some of the best friends anyone could ask for.
For me one of the hardest parts of playing is tackling the fear of getting hurt. Half the game is played in your head, and when you’ve had injuries in the past it can feel like an uphill battle to get back on the horse. I often have to remind myself that we don’t just train to get better but also to stay safe. When you can literally see the improvements you and the squad make week after week, it’s the best feeling in the world. I have to say it’s hard not to get hooked on this sport. As for our game against the Paindeers, I’m both excited and nervous. Win or lose I know C-Side will come out the other end a stronger team. Go Rockers!
I JOINED THIS YEAR’S Fresh Meat having pretty much never skated before, aside from the odd roller disco as a kid. I was attracted to roller derby as my girlfriend had skated with the Rockers before. She took me skating once and showed off her awesome skills. I thought ‘I want to be able to do that’. I’d definitely say the hardest part of derby so far has actually been the mental aspect of the game, ie having the confidence to really push yourself outside of your comfort zone, especially when people are throwing themselves at you. Falling hard on your coc-
cyx is a close second, though. My style of play is to try and duke around everyone wherever possible, as some of these players are seriously strong. I’m expecting our first game to be really intense but amazing fun. As a team we’ve all grown together so much over the last few months. I’m really looking forward to finally showing off our hard work and training.
BEFORE JOINING FRESH MEAT at the start of this year, the last time I skated was in adjustable Fisher Price skates! I’d never even heard of roller derby until last year, when my partner took me to see a game, then afterwards suggested we sign up for Fresh Meat. I’m sure you can understand that the idea of getting bashed about with a set of wheels on my feet didn’t fill me with joy, but I reluctantly agreed and that’s what we’ve been doing every Sunday morning for the last year. There’s been so much to learn, but our coaches have created such brilliant sessions that it doesn’t feel like hard work, just fun. I love the complexity of the game... possibly because it hides all my mistakes! Practicing strategies as a team and then being able to use them in the moment is a great feeling. I’m really excited, with a hint of nervousness, about today’s debut game. Hopefully we’ll pull off a win...
FANCY GIVING DERBY A GO? Brighton Rockers are one of the UK’s fastest growing derby leagues. Drop an email to info@ brightonrockers.com to be notified of their next Fresh Meat intake (likely to be in mid 2019). As a WFTDA league, players must be aged 18+ and self-identify as female or non-binary. Other non-playing roles are available. Neighbours Eastbourne Roller Derby take all genders plus juniors.
B-TEAM PREVIEW
P I R T N ROAD
ROMA
) LER DERBtYh Roller Derbys L O R H T A Ba re’ their CTUFF (B ay. He
MA ke on WITH LADtYeam Rockerbilltises(tthae Roman on’s B
Bright
Can you tell us about your league? Bath Roller Derby started in a pub just over six years ago. Our first practices were held in Green Park Station, which isn’t actually a station but a covered outdoors area next to the main Sainsbury’s in town, so in full view of the public! Fast-forward to now and we have just got a permanent track marked out in our practice space. We have two hard-working, ever-improving teams and a host of amazing and committed officials. We’re still a relatively small league, but we’re ambitious and that has really shown through with amazing achievements. This year has been mindblowing. Our A-team recently climbed to 100th in Europe after starting the year at 194, and our B-team Romans have been exceeding expectations since the team was reinstated in spring after a year’s break. We recently won ‘Community Club of the Year’ in the 2018 Bath Sports Awards; a perfect way to recognise everyone’s achievements and raise awareness of our wonderful sport I don’t think the group of strangers who met in the Crystal Palace pub could ever have dreamed of this. Oh, and we also like to think of ourselves as friendly and fun – but don’t let our smiles lull you into a false sense of security.
len
equiva
. s) tod ders.. Roller n inva a m o R our fo on the in
What’s the derby scene like locally? The South West derby scene is incredibly lovely and supportive. There’s also a few leagues of a similar level to us; SWAT (who are based in Taunton) and North Devon were both in our British Champs tier this year, so we’ve got to know a lot of skaters and officials well over the years. Everyone is super competitive on track, but it’s all big smiles and hugs when the final whistle blows. Our A-team Spartans play all around the UK and as a league we also try to play internationally once a year. This year we went to Valencia, which was loads of fun – great city, great opponents, and the Spartans smashed their predicted score. The Romans then rocked in a mixed scrim with Valencia’s Bteam and rookies. It also turns out that a day on the beach and splashing in the sea is the best way to recover after a game too – but I guess you Brighton residents knew that anyway! How was this year’s South West Season? The Romans came fifth out of six, but we learnt so much. Two players had their first games during the season, and a lot of others had only played in public once or twice before. The improvement we saw between our first game and our later games in terms of both tactical awareness and
general skill was huge and everyone did something amazing in every game. We may have lost our last game (though not by much and there were lead changes throughout), but we exceeded our expectations and predicted score, and were on such a high afterwards. What do you know of the Brighton Rockerbillies? I don’t think we’ve ever seen them play in person before, so this is going to be a new and exciting experience for us. Most of all though, we’re hoping for a fun and friendly game full of Christmas cheer. Any particular Bath players or tactics spectators should look out for? Nice try, Brighton Opposition Research Team! Do you have any other (off track) plans for your trip to the Brighton area? We’ll probably get a fun bus, so it might just have to be a quick trip for fish and chips and doughnuts before heading home. Do you have a message for any Bath fans here today? What time is it? (For the uninitiated, the answer is always BATH TIME!) Also, thanks so much for coming down; we love our cheer squad, and the noise and support always feels like an extra player (hint, hint).
7
RANKINGS AND PREDICTIONS FROM FLATTRACKSTATS.COM
LETTERS
BRIGHTON B: 276TH (462.3pts) BATH B: 367TH (437.7pts)
IES) vs L L I B R E K C OOM (RO B LLERS) & O R S L L N I A M M O TERS (R N U O C N E What’s your favourite derby F RIE
BRIGHTON B 73% CHANCE OF WINNING PREDICTED DIFFERENTIAL OF 40:29 SUGGESTS CIRCA 240-174 HOME WIN BASED ON EUROPEAN RANKINGS OF 21ST NOV
1. The Latin name for Bath (Aquae Sulis) translates literally as ‘town of the magical stink water’. 2. Bath’s Pulteney Bridge is the only bridge in the world that you can buy kombucha tea on both sides of. 3. The opening line of ‘Suzanne’ by Leonard Cohen (“Suzanne takes you down to her place near the river”) is about that time former Olympic swimmer Suzanne Dando took Cohen to watch Bath at home to Saracens in rugby’s John Player Cup. 4. The McDonalds in Bath has pioneered a new form of french fry made almost entirely from cardboard. 5. William Pitt the Younger once finished third in an otter-wrestling contest held inside Bath’s Pig and Fiddle pub. Jane Austen won it.
G
Where without a derby team would you start one? Mills & Boom (Brighton): Much as there are areas that could do with it, I feel like it could be a great thing to take back to my home town in the Midlands. I grew up skating at the roller discos and there was a good range of individuals learning there. It would be quite nice to see the town nurture that sort of culture and positivity. Grief Encounters (Bath): I’m going to cheat and say Bath. I know we have teams already, but it would be great to get a junior league going to prepare the next generation of skaters. Also, so many of our skaters have had children recently, so we’ll have a ready supply of recruits in a few years. Junior roller derby is awesome and cute all at the same time. What flavour of crisps do you wish existed? Something with wasabi in. Wasabi pea crisps? Having turned veggie, I wish that all bacon crisps (not just some) were vegetarian. What’s your favourite style of dancing? I only have three styles of dancing. The awkward shuffle, flailing arms or the prechoreographed numbers. Anyone for the Casper Slide? I’m slightly obsessed with dancing, so it’s hard to pick a particular style, although whatever style I start out with always ends up a bit musical theatre with full jazz hands. I blame being made to do pantomime chorus line for all my teenage years.
name? I’m partial to slightly nerdy names, such as Hermione Danger or something more subtle like Helen Wheels. Seven Metre Rita, who was an awesome and very tall blocker in my Fresh Meat. Also, Berry D’Alive, who has just joined our league from Sheffield. That name has the right derby mix of darkness and humour.
If you had a time machine what would you do with it? Which laws of time are in place? By going back to the past are you in danger of changing it? Methinks I will leave well alone! I lived in London in the noughties when derby was just taking off there, but I had no idea it even existed. (I’d never seen Whip It.) So I’d go back to then to get involved in the very beginnings of UK derby. What’s the best birthday present you’ve ever received? My best friend (now boyfriend) got me a heart locket for my eleventh birthday after overhearing me pine for one. I wore it non-stop for ages. It came completely out of the blue and I still have it. Always a treasure. My niece was born on the same day as me but 32 years apart. I love that when I turn 50 next year she’ll be 18 on the same day. Who should be President of all of roller derby? No idea, but someone with a huge love for the sport. I’d nominate all the amazing people who helped get the Bath league going and built up to where we are now.
What have been the highs and lows of 2018? We haven’t played many games this year, focusing on strengthening our team cohesion and solidifying skills and tactics on the track. That said, we were all incredibly pleased with our first full WFTDA game in Barcelona. It was a solid win in which every single member of the team contributed their best. No A-team game today? No, but most A-teamers will be here in some capacity. It takes a whole league to put on events like this, everyone doing their bit. I’m excited for the C-team’s debut. No doubt they will all be terrified, but we’ve all been there at some point – you never forget your first game. The B-team have been working so hard and performing so well, having lost a nail-biter in Vienna recently. I’m sure they’ll be coming out hungry and ready for an epic battle.
What’s your background in derby? I knew some people that were involved in roller derby for a couple of years before I started. I eventually got convinced to come along to a practice about 4.5 years ago. I learnt to skate at the same time, which was probably not the right way to do things! You were recently appointed as Brighton Rockers’ Head Ref, yeah? Correct. I live in Bournemouth so it’s more of a remote position for me, but I’m collating the penalties from the last few games. I’m going to be making some tables/charts up for them (I’m a stats nerd) and drawing up guides to the most commonly committed penalties. I’m also going to be sorting out the ref crews for their home games and answering general rules questions, being the rules buff that I am! In what ways does the Rockers set-up differ from that of your main league, Dorset
This issue includes our awards voting form. Who have been your standout Ateam jammers of 2018? As a league, we are so fortunate to have such skilled and hardworking jammers, any of whom are just as lethal in the pack. For me choosing one is impossible as they each have their own style and strength. I’m calling a four-way tie between Kapow, Hippy Hippy Skate, Shambolic and Skate Bush.
TEAM TALK
H AM BENC E T A H T WI STRESS I M H C A CO Roller Girls? Brighton seem a little more structured and focused. They are also bigger in terms of ranking, number of skaters and fans! I wouldn’t leave DRG for the world and the Rockers have been so accommodating with that. Will former Rockers Head Ref LaserHammer’s skates be tough to fill? He has quite small feet, so I think I’ll be fine! On a serious note, I adore Laser and was gutted when I found out he was stepping down and out for a bit. The main advice he gave me is ‘don’t be ****’. How do your approaches differ? Laser was very relaxed in his style; I’m probably a bit more officious in nature. Both approaches work though, and I think we’re both pretty good ‘people people’. I hope the Brighton ref crew can keep learning and progressing as they were before. One reason I accepted the position here is because of the officials.
And blockers? Again, picking out just one would be a real challenge for me. It depends on what qualities in a blocker you prefer. Leadership goes to Finn; hardest working and consistency goes to Fellen E Assault; sheer tenacity, dedication and constant improvement goes to Hairy Fairy; and the unsung hero of brains and brawn goes to Cake or Death? I’m just grateful that we’ve got them all on our side!
ZEBRA LINES
CKERS WITH RO REE FE HEAD RE NG STRAPPI D EAR YOUNG B
Any tips for the other awards? For ‘Rookie’ I’m sorry to say that I’ve yet to personally witness the awesomeness of our rookies as I’m not able to make their sessions. However, I have no doubt that they will knock your socks off today. As the mighty B-teamers know, it takes a lot of hard work starting from the beginning and they can be inspired by all the Bs out there today, especially Slap Dash, former B-team captain and force of nature. My vote for ‘Other’ will always be the incredible John Hesse who has done so much not only for our league, but dozens of others in this country and has showcased some of the best derby in the world on his international travels. We are so grateful for his support. As for ‘Icon’, well there’s this guy called Mister Adam... Perhaps you’ve heard of him? [Yes, and we’ve banned him from winning any of our awards – Ed]
What do you make of the recent WFTDA rules changes that kick in next year? I think the changes are really good in general. They will make the game safer and easier to understand, with less demand on officials; jam refs in particular. I’m a little gutted about them removing jammer lap points though, because I worked hard to get good and understand all the nuances of jam reffing. Finally, you’re not going to be here today, so any advice for the officials and players in Haywards Heath? I really wanted to be here, but had already accepted an offer to referee in Amsterdam today. This will probably be one of the last games Brighton play under the old ruleset, so stick to what you know skaters! Officials wise, I’ve sorted the ref crew, so I know them well and they’re awesome. Hissing HellCat has done a fantastic job in sorting the NSOs, so they’ll be just as awesome!