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CHAMPS FIXTURES
GUIDE TO BRITISH CHAMPS
IT’S ALL ABOUT POSITIONING
GAME DAY ONE: JAN 20TH @ WINDSOR Royal Windsor RG 252-130 Portsmouth RW London Rockin’ Rollers 372-162 Seaside Sirens GAME DAY TWO: FEB 21ST @ LRR Brighton Rockers 253-175 Seaside Sirens London Rockin’ Rollers 235-164 Bristol RD GAME DAY THREE: MAR 21ST @ SIRENS Royal Windsor RG 508-141 Seaside Sirens Bristol Roller Derby 227-223 Brighton Rockers GAME DAY FOUR: MAY 9TH @ BRISTOL Royal Windsor RG 348-196 Brighton Rockers Bristol Roller Derby 305-253 Portsmouth RW GAME DAY FIVE: JUN 20TH @ PORTSMOUTH London Rockin’ Rollers 207-144 Portsmouth RW Bristol Roller Derby 498-122 Seaside Sirens GAME DAY SIX: JUL 11TH @ ROCKERS London Rockin’ Rollers v Royal Windsor RG Brighton Rockers v Portsmouth Roller Wenches GAME DAY SEVEN: AUG 9TH @ ROCKERS Brighton Rockers v London Rockin’ Rollers Royal Windsor RG v Bristol Roller Derby Portsmouth Roller Wenches v Seaside Sirens
EDITOR/DESIGNER/PUBLISHER: Adam Peters CONTRIBUTORS: All of our lovely interviewees PHOTOGRAPHERS: Jason Ruffell (Roller Derby On Film): front and back covers, pages 3, 5 (Black Thorn), 7, 8, 17, 18 (Duchess) & 20 (Hairy) // John Hesse: pages 5 (Ella), 6, 12-13, 15, 16 & 18 (Gin) PLEASE SUPPORT ALL OF OUR LOVELY ADVERTISERS – THEY KEEP THIS MAG FREE
With Brighton hosting the final two days of UKRDA National South action in British Champs (today and Sunday 9th August) it’s time to take a closer look at the league table and what exactly is at stake... 1ST/2ND: The top two at the end of the season will progress to Playoffs, where they will compete against the top two from National North. Two of these four sides will be promoted to Tier 1. 3RD/4TH: The teams finishing in mid-table will be taking part in Tier 2 South again next season. (Er, unless the geographic spread of promoted and relegated teams causes some swaps with Tier 2 North). 5TH/6TH: The bottom two teams in the final table will be relegated to Tier 3, which consists of four geographic divisions (N,S,E,W). Next season’s National South: With the North division generally containing higher ranked teams, it’s quite possible that neither South Playoff entrant will win promotion – both could remain in this division for next season. Rainy City (Oldham) and Central City (Birmingham) have been relegated from Tier 1, and the latter would likely end up in this division next year if a South team is promoted. Who will come up from Tier 3 is anyone’s guess. Eight teams will contest T3 Playoffs later in the year, with four of these progressing to the Tier 2 divisions. Someone with a map will have to work out who goes where. As things stand, some of the teams chasing promotion to the National South are SWAT (Devon/Somerset), Cambridge and our neighbours Croydon.
WHAT’S AT STAKE IN TODAY’S GAMES... • As the division’s only unbeaten teams, Windsor and LRR are favourites for the two Playoff places. Today’s match between them could well decide which of the two is going to finish top of the table. • Bristol and (to a lesser extent) Brighton are both still in with a chance of finishing second. The best result for these sides in tODAY’S OPENER would be a big Windsor win to dent LRR’s points differential. • If Brighton beat Portsmouth in today’s second game, the Rockers guarantee their survival (the lowest they could then finish is fourth) whilST simultanEously relegating Portsmouth and Sirens. Ouch! • A Portsmouth win today will leave them and Brighton vying for fourth place survival on the final Day, WHICH IS back here in four weeks TIME. PORTSMOUTH (FACING SIRENS) HAVE THE EASIER FINAL GAME.
FLATTRACKSTATS.COM PREDICTIONS
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vs
vs
UKRDA RANKING (POINTS)
14th (627.6)
7th (663.6)
PREDICTED WIN PERCENTAGE 30%
70%
UKRDA RANKING (POINTS)
15th (620.8)
21st (590.3)
PREDICTED WIN PERCENTAGE 82%
18%
EXPECTED SCORE DIFFERENTIAL
EXPECTED SCORE DIFFERENTIAL
12:17
56:37
EQUALS SCORELINE SUCH AS
EQUALS SCORELINE SUCH AS
192-275
252-166
Mix of home/away predictions using Flattrack’s UKRDA stats. Euro and WFTDA stats give LRR a better 34% win chance and predicted differential of 8:9 equating to for example a 270-240 Windsor win.
Online predictor at FTS using UKRDA stats with Rockers given home advantage. European stats favour Brighton slightly more, giving an 85% win chance and 43:27 differential (eg 258-162 win).
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“I think there are more similarities than differences between these two teams. Their jamming styles are physical and their blocking is brutal. Both teams managed to disrupt our slow controlled defence when we played them, and they forced us into a more physical style of play, resulting in higher than average penalty counts. Both teams also came away with not too different results against Windsor, the dominant team in our tier. I’m expecting a physical and relatively evenly matched game, which will work in our favour! Although a Portsmouth win would cement at least a mid-table finish for us, we have our sights set a bit higher than that. Assuming Windsor continue to dominate and beat LRR in the day’s other match-up, we’re hoping that a Brighton win will spur them on to beat LRR on August 9th, setting up a fight between ourselves and LRR for a second place finish that may well come down to points difference – currently there are only 17 points separating us. Exciting times!”
VIEWS FROM ELSEWHERE
“This is going to be a really great game to watch. Both LRR and Windsor have shown in this tier that they have strengths in different areas and it will be an interesting contest. Very hard to call though. Windsor’s Riley Cyrus is relentlessly strong backwards blocking and the packs waterfalling made it very tough for our jammers when we played them. Also, Windsor have a tactic of running the jam clock on to get the points on the board. LRR are just lovely to watch on the track; they look like they enjoy every second which we identify with a lot! Deadly DeVito’s offence for her jammers is difficult to ignore, and the team’s ability to switch to offence is quick and effective.” LOOKING FOR SPECIFIC CONTENT? The background colour of the pages in this magazine reflect the colours used on the cover, so pink pages for Rockers v Wenches and so on (general articles are the colour of the date box). We’ve been doing it like this for a few issues now – we just forgot to tell anyone!
LONDON ROCKIN’ ROLLERS
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ROCKIN’ CHAMPS
London Rockin’ Rollers captain JACK ATTACK looks ahead to today’s vital game...
Hi LRR. You’re three games into your British Champs campaign and so far you’ve won every game. Is that what you were expecting going into the season? Yes, this is what we expected (certainly hoped for) as we’ve worked really hard and have been focused on the Champs games in particular. You’re facing the only other undefeated team, Royal Windsor, today. What do you know of the RWRG side? Anything in particular you’ll be looking out for from them? We’ve played them a few times over the years and I think they are going to be the most challenging of all the Champs games. We’re totally prepared for it though, so I think it’s going to be a really good close game.
TURN LEFT ONES TO WATCH With a few players recently retired or injured, LRR’s key skater today could well be RAMMIT. The West Indies international and editor of derby magazine Inside Line (whose final issue is out this month) ranks second in the division for both lead jammer statuses and highest points differentials. She’s been LRR’s biggest offensive threat this season. Another key jammer for London is BEAT GIRL, who missed their last Champs game due to bridesmaid duties. Defensively, UMA THUMPIN’ and DEADLY DEVITO occupy opposing ends of the height spectrum (in fact the latter might be the shortest player in the whole of UK derby, and we’re including junior derby in that) and give the LRR defence, often marshalled by wily veteran VON BITCH, a wide range of options.
Similarly, what should people in the crowd look out for from LRR in terms of players and tactics? Do you have anything special up your sleeves? Care to predict the result? I certainly can’t predict the result as you never know what might happen on the day, but we’ve got a brand new All Stars team with some great new talent as well as veterans. Nothing special planned. Just old school derby! The top two in this division at the end of the season will meet the National North top two in the Playoffs for promotion to Tier 1. Was that your aim for the season at the outset? How confident are you of finishing top/second and of beating the highly ranked National North sides you’d then face? Yes, our aim was to be playing in the Playoffs and hopefully move up a tier. We’re quietly confident, but as we know in derby anything could happen. We’ve also got a few skaters off with injury and some that have retired or transferred recently. So we’ll see. I think we can do it! Today’s other game sees hosts Brighton face Portsmouth. A win for the Rockers would relegate both Wenches and Sirens. How do you think that game will go? I’ve no idea how it will go. Brighton have recently lost The Mighty Mighty Bash, so I hope that doesn’t affect their team too much. Brighton seem to be able to really ‘bring it’ in the second half of the second half, so I think they’ll be fun to watch. Finally, do you have any message for the LRR fans in the crowd here today? Make sure you cheer the loudest. We’re counting on you! ;)
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ROYAL WINDSOR ROLLERGIRLS
BATTLE ROYAL ...whilst rival captain CLE-BLAM-O previews the bout from a Windsor perspective. After Windsor’s first three British Champs games you top the table, having won all of your games so far, often by a huge margin. Is that what you were expecting from 2015 Champs? We aim to win every game we play, obviously, but we never ‘expect’ a win. We are very happy with our results so far, but we absolutely don’t take anything for granted. We train really hard for every game. A highlight has been getting to know our neighbours better and getting a better picture of our awesome local(ish) roller derby scene. We are big fans of British Champs, so we are really pleased to see it working so well. There have been some great games because of it! You’re facing the only other undefeated team in the division today. What do you know of the London Rockin’ Rollers? We are looking forward to playing LRR. They are a lovely team, but we know we need to watch out as they are also a tricky team with some really good players. Bring it on! What should people in the crowd look out for from Royal Windsor today? Royal Windsor are all about the team work. You are only as strong as your weakest player but luckily all of RWRG are FIERCE. Many see today’s LRR v Windsor game as a battle between the eventual top two; possibly the game that will determine who ‘wins’ the division. How confident are you of reaching Playoffs and beating the National North sides you’d face? National North have some serious talent. Obviously it would be really exciting to be in Playoffs, but we have two games to go, so we aren’t thinking about that yet!
Today’s other game sees hosts Brighton Rockers face Portsmouth Roller Wenches. Having already played both sides in Champs yourselves, how do you think that game will go? Both sides have some strong players. Gin Atomic was strong when we played Brighton. Portsmouth have a good mix of strong and nippy jammers, so we suggest looking out for that. It should be an exciting game! Finally, do you have any message for the Windsor fans in the crowd here today? Ha. Yeah we have a small but loyal following and they may not be the biggest crowd, but by God when you get a few ciders in them they might just be the loudest. So to them we would say thank you. Thank you for the dedication of your petrol money, your vocal chords and your livers.
TURN LEFT ONES TO WATCH Any list of Windsor players to keep an eye on has to begin with the name CLE-BLAM-O. The RWRG captain comfortably tops all the National South jammer charts. She’s averaged 14.6 points per jam in Windsor’s Champs season so far and gained lead jammer status 91% of the time. Pretty terrifying! Windsor use a fairly small rotation and their jammers (eg VIX and POISIN CHERRY) will often happily let the two minutes run rather than call it off. This is due to their super strong defence, with RWRG having eight of the division’s Top Ten ranked blockers! Some of those to look out for in the packs include RILEY CYRUS, MUSCLE CROWE, HILLSDON and Team GB ice hockey’s reserve netminder TRASHBAG.
LONDON VS WINDSOR
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Do you have any special gameday rituals or superstitions?
I generally try to stay calm and not overthink things. And pee a lot!
I’m not really a superstitious person. I think you make your own luck, so I just try to keep positive through the nerves and, if in doubt, I’ll talk to a teamie to distract myself.
What skates/wheels do you play in and how long have you had them?
I’ve got Bonts with a combo of Heartless wheels. I have a set of every duro in their range (plus a set of Reckless) and I generally mix them up depending on what the floor is like. Currently I have one 86, one 88 and two 90s on each skate!
I skate on Crazy skates. I’ve had them for about a year and a half and I love them. Mag Avenger plate and usually Poisons, which I have found to be a great multi-purpose wheel as I don’t like slip, or Rollerbones Turbos depending on my mood.
Do you have a particular ‘special move’ you’re known for?
No, I’m a team player and work well with my team in supporting strong walls. No place for heroics ;)
Drinking too much and falling asleep by 9.30pm.
Do you play any other sports at all?
No, I’m too old for sport in general.
Gymnastics and karate when I was a child. Since playing derby I have discovered that I love rugby too.
What’s your favourite roller derby related item that you possess?
I love shiny colourful wheels. Also my skate noose for my outdoor skates. I love flinging my skates over my shoulder and having them on display on the early morning commute. Makes me feel like I’m more interesting than all the other drones on the train.
My RWRG Best Jammer 2014 tags my league gave me :)
What’s the strangest thing you’ve jumped over on skates?
I’ve done the usual; kit bag, bench, cones... oh, and a Piston Broke.
Probably nothing. I once attempted an apex jump alone at practice and chickened out a bit in the run-up. I came in way short of the corner and jumped for no reason. That was slightly embarrassing.
Similarly, what’s the strangest thing you’ve crashed into on skates?
A tree root covered in concrete with my face! Nice scar as I was too silly to go to A&E and just skated to the pub instead.
A boat. We attempted a skate marathon last year. From Windsor to Chiswick. There are not many skate friendly routes and at Runnymede we had no choice but to get a boat. Obviously boats aren’t the most stable of places when you are on skates!
What’s your favourite part of a derby track?
The straight. Less track to cover.
The jam start line. That’s where all the intense shit happens.
What did you find the hardest element of Minimum Skills to pass?
Minimum Skills wasn’t so hard, but I still can’t master the side surf/Mohawk for any length of time. I’m just not made that way.
Ploughs. I hate ploughs. My legs don’t bend in. They just don’t. I don’t want to talk about it.
Learn how to skate first. If you can skate outdoors comfortably and without fear, skating indoors will be easy.
DO IT. DO IT NOW. DO IT.
What advice would you give someone thinking about taking up derby? Who is your roller derby hero and why?
I have a few and oddly all of them are/were in LRR. Whilst skating with Croydon I used to love watching LRR’s Jack Attack, Von Bitch and Betty Swollox. They have always inspired me and I’ve felt honoured to skate with them and be trained by them.
Marie Melvin. She’s so cool. And the rest of RWRG, who are the biggest bunch of headcases and weirdos I have ever met, but who have made my life so much better.
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TOP TENS
Due to popular demand (bloke in pub) Top Tens is now a regular feature. Rockers and opponents share their favourites...
ALL KINDS OF EVERYTHING
EASTBOURNE EXTREME
Next weekend (18th & 19th July) sees the return of Eastbourne Extreme. What can you tell us about this annual event, particularly the roller derby element of it? Extreme started out as a skating event run by our sponsor, Tim Wheals from Eastbourne SK8school. It later developed into an extreme sports event. In 2011 there was roller derby for the first time, but there was only about half an hour of a game before heavy rain stopped play. In 2012 the Bombshells decided to have a full day of derby at Extreme. The team was very new and no-one had passed Minimum Skill, so they didn’t take part, just hosted. Croydon saw off Seaside Sirens, Oxford, Bristol, Big Bucks and Beasts of Bodmin to win the event by a few points. By 2013 Bombshells had enough skaters to take part. The event expanded to two days, with Saturday for newer teams. The Bombshells were up against Surrey, Basingstoke and winners Mean Valley B. Sunday was for more established teams, with Croydon defeating Portsmouth, Kent and Big Bucks to win again. Last year Saturday remained as a tournament, with the Bombshells taking on Surrey, LRR B and Croydon B. Croydon won again! Sunday was a day of mixed games at various levels, including juniors, men’s and co-ed. For 2015 we’ve kept the Saturday tournament, whilst Sunday features an exciting range of games. Saturday’s tournament features the Bombshells and Surrey, plus the B-teams of LRR, Brighton, Croydon and Big Bucks. [For the full schedule see the Extreme advert in this issue.] Who are the teams to look out for? Brighton are the only team in Saturday’s tournament who haven’t played at Extreme before; it seems that once a team plays at Extreme, they want to come back and do it again! As the new Brighton B-team haven’t played a ranked game yet, they are something of an unknown. We’re unsure as to how they will place against the other teams, but having trained with the Brighton A-team, they are sure to have some strong players and great tactics. In terms of rankings, LRR’s B-team are the highest ranked, followed by Croydon’s B-team. Last year, these two teams made it to the final, with Croydon winning. Surrey have played at Extreme for the last two years, but recently they have been moving up the rankings very quickly and also doing well in their British Champs games, so it’ll be interesting to see how much they’ve progressed over the past year.
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Next weekend sees the return of the UK’s only outdoor roller derby festival to Eastbourne seafront. This year features a Brighton team for the first time. Here’s all the info...
Whilst Saturday is the tournament, what can we expect to see on Sunday? There are six full-length games being played on the Sunday. Definitely the highlight of the day is the game between the A-teams of Croydon and Bristol. Both leagues have history at Extreme. Croydon has won the main tournament every year since it started, and some of the Bristol skaters played in the first year. The two teams are ranked in the UKRDA Top 20 (Bristol 17th, Croydon 19th) and both are doing well in British Champs – Bristol currently sit second in Tier 2 South, whilst Croydon top their Tier 3 table. This game could be an interesting preview to next year’s Champs National South, and I can’t wait to see it played out on the track. In fact all the Sunday games are notable! Team Dragon RD are taking on the mighty Team No Fuss. They’ve been rattling their sabres at each other since No Fuss beat the Dragons at their inaugural game last November. Eastbourne Roller Derby men’s team Bomb S’Quad are playing their first open door game against a mostly Surrey Rollerboys team (some skaters will be from other leagues). Watch out for Tenacious P’s trademark trot and players like Nut Basher and Chasin’ Status taking out their opposition in style. We are also rolling out the Eastbourne co-ed team for the first time, A-Bomb-iNations will be playing Portsmouth Scurvy Wenches, who are going to provide some tough opposition with players of the calibre of Noise Tank (ex Southern Discomfort), Dropkick
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TOURNAMENT PREVIEW
Do the Rockerbillies (Brighton’s B-team) have much experience of skating outdoors? Ha. We’re derby girls, we don’t often venture into the outside world! Give me smooth sport court over tarmac any day. A few of us sometimes skate out and about in Brighton – dodging tourists on the seafront promenade is a great way to practise agility – but this will be the first time we’ve skated outdoors as a team.
Molly and The Duchess of Crutches. Co-ed games are hard hitting and great fun to watch. There’s also a juniors game – we are introducing contact, so expect to see the kids stepping it up a bit this year. Meanwhile, our first game of the day sees Southampton City Rollers in what I believe is their first open door game. They will play a mixed team we have put together of new skaters from the Bombshells, Brighton Rockers, Basingstoke, Rochester and others. How does playing derby outdoors differ from the indoor game? Playing outdoors is great fun, especially next to the sea where the air is fresh and the breeze keeps you cool. Everyone who has played in a boiling generic sports hall can relate to that. We tell people to come prepared for rink rashes and not to wear their best gym tights or use brand new pads if they can avoid it. Everything ends up a bit more scuffed but it’s definitely worth the pay-off. Most of us skate in outdoor wheels, but the surface is actually quite smooth, and the game is a bit slower. What else can we expect over the weekend? This year we have four 15-minute slots on the ramps exclusively for the use of Chicks in Bowls crews. The ramps are accessible all the time for general skating and all are welcome. Most of us Eastbourne Roller Derby types will get an early night on Saturday, but parties will be going on all along the seafront. Live bands, beach BBQs and a roller disco at MySkateWold to name a few. On Sunday evening you can find us at the newly refurbished Crown & Anchor, our favourite pub which is on the seafront and east of the pier. The roller derby crew have been given exclusive use of the upstairs bar. Expect human pyramids!
In what ways does outdoor roller derby differ to the regular sports hall variety? I don’t expect much difference. Tactics and gameplay will be virtually the same, but outdoor surfaces are much more grippy. This makes it harder to slide on your wheels, so we will be relying much more on our edges to slow down and stop our opponents, meaning lots of stompy feet! I imagine it will also be a bit harder to pick up speed because of this, so I guess we’ll just have to work harder. We’ll be wearing full-length leggings to avoid nasty grazes, switching to softer outdoor wheels, and donning some hardier toe stops – maybe bringing an extra pair in case we wear them down completely. Do you know much about the other teams? We foolishly decided to play our first ever B-team game against Croydon B not long after we formed, and we got our butts kicked. So I’m aware of just how good (and terrifying) they are. We have good links with the Bombshells; we’ve trained and scrimmed with them in the past. I don’t know much about the others, but I look forward to getting to know them on the track. Are you doing any special training for Extreme? I wish I could say that we were, but all we’ve done is meet up a few times for a casual outdoor skating session. Personally I’ll be keeping on top of my fitness so I can play more than one game without dying! What are your expectations for the tournament? Anything could happen. We’re a fledgling B-team with a broad range of skill levels and experience and only a few games under our belt. However, we’ve had a couple of bloody good wins and some players who’ve improved dramatically in the last few months. So I’m confident we will be able to hold our own, score lots of points and have a fantastic time. Can we beat 2012, 2013 and 2014 Extreme champions Croydon? No, but I might have a different answer in a year’s time!
Extreme 2015
Saturday 18th & Sunday 19th July
Free Event
Eastbourne
Royal Parade Eastbourne, BN22 7AA
Sunday Saturday 09:30 09:30 Track 1 - Group A - Surrey Roller Derby vs London Rockin’ Rollers Rising Stars 10:00 Track 2 - Ultra Rare Fresh Meat 10:30 Track 1 - Group B - Brighton Rockerbillies 11:00 vs Croydon Vice Squad 11:30 Track 1 - Group A - Bourne Bombshells vs 11:30 12:00 Surrey Roller Derby 12:00 Skate Ramps - Chicks in Bowls 12:30 Track 1 - Group B - Croydon Vice Squad vs Big Bucks High Rollers Rough Diamonds 13:30 Track 2 - Ultra Rare Fresh Meat 14:50 13:30 Track 1 - Group A - Bourne Bombshells vs 15:00 London Rockin’ Rollers Rising Stars 16:30 14:30 Track 1 - Group B - Brighton Rockerbillies vs Big Bucks High Rollers Rough Diamonds 18:00 Track 2 - Ultra Rare Fresh Meat 18:30 15:00 Skate Ramps - Chicks in Bowls 15:30 Track 1 - 3rd Place A vs 3rd Place B 16:30 Track 1 - 2nd Place A vs 2nd Place B 17:30 Track 1 - 1st Place A vs 1st Place B 18:20 Track 1 - Awards Teams
Sponsors
Track 1 - Eastbourne Extreme Rookies Vs Southampton City Rollers Track 2 - Bootcamp Track 1 - Juniors Track 2 - Bootcamp Skate Ramps - Chicks in Bowls Track 1 - Bomb Squad Vs Surrey Jammerwockies Track 2 - Bootcamp Track 1 - Team Dragon RD Vs Team No Fuss Skate Ramps - Chicks in Bowls Track 1 - A-Bombs Vs Scurvy Wenches Track 1 - Croydon Riot Squad Vs Bristol Roller Derby Track 1 - Awards After Party at the Crown and Anchor
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The obvious choice of derby hero for me is Kamikaze Kitten – formerly with the London Rollergirls and Team England, but recently retired. She sold me my ticket for the first derby bout I saw, then wowed me on track. It was an LRG intraleague game in 2012 and I was hooked. That match made me want to begin skating. Following the progress of players like Kami (killing it against American sides and becoming one of the top players in the world) has been truly inspiring. What I admire about her is how powerful and yet how nippy she is! I’m more of a blocker, but her power and strength is amazing in any position. Also she has such modesty off track. I remember being coached by her back in London, and being surprised by how kind and self-effacing she was. I learned from her to never give up. In summary: Kami sold me my first derby ticket, she was incredible on track and she pushes herself in whatever she does. A true derby hero.
MY DERBY HERO
MY BLOCKING HERO STEFANIE MAINEY London Rollergirls and Team England. Best. Blocking. Ever.
MY ROCKERS HERO THE MIGHTY MIGHTY BASH
Rockers legend Bash is the obvious choice. With amazing footwork, she was stronger than the rest of us put together and, above all, bloody terrifying.
MY PHOTOGRAPHY HERO JOHN HESSE
He gets the best shots. Like this one of Kami at the World Cup. Awesome.
BRIGHTON ROCKERS ROLLER DERBY
ART TU T2
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The Rockers could guarantee their place in Tier 2 for another season today. SWANN details the campaign so far... Hi there. You’re three games into your British Champs campaign, with one win and two losses to your name. Has the season so far gone as you were expecting? We knew this year was going to be challenging. We’ve had a lot of player movement, with people having to take breaks for various reasons, and it’s meant we’ve not always been in the best position to play the games we have lined up when they come around. I’m not sure any of the games have gone way off plan so far, although obviously we would have liked to have won all three. I think the end of the Bristol game will probably stick out for most of us as a highlight (even though we lost it by a few points) and I’m not sure about any lowlights. I try not to dwell too much on the negatives. You’re hosting the National South division’s final two Game Days. Is organising big events like this tougher than for a normal home event? The main thing really is the extra expense. There’s a lot more pressure in the marketing phase to get people to attend as we’re spending a lot more to run the event. With the Champs games we’re lucky enough to have all of the officials sorted by the divisional head officials, and we’ve also got a huge batch of Fresh Meat and some of the B-team who aren’t playing, which relieves some of the pressure. Much easier than regular double headers where everyone’s playing! If you beat Portsmouth today you guarantee your survival in Tier 2, whilst simultaneously relegating them and Southend to Tier 3. Is that something you have thought about going into the game? We hadn’t really considered it like that to be honest! We’ve not looked at the whole campaign terrible strategically. We go into each game with an idea of how we think we’ll do, and how we’d like to do, and we’ve not looked much at how the results will affect placement at the end of the year. How well do you know the Wenches? Who are you looking out for in their ranks, and who should fans look out for in Brighton’s? We’ve only played at the same Game Day once this year, so we’ve not seen too much of them lately. I seem to remem-
ber them having some quite aggressive offence the last time we played them, so we’ll be looking out for that. Dropkick Molly is my one to watch. She’s a great blocker, pivot and jammer. She’s really consistent and clean and that’s all very valuable in a good player. Our ones to watch? Skate Bush and Irish Mist are coming on in leaps and bounds; they impress me more with every game. I never like to predict the result, but I’d like us to win by slightly more than our last meeting. Today’s other game sees LRR face Windsor in a match-up that may well decide who tops the division. How do you think that game will go? I know LRR have recently had a few notable retirements, so I expect that will make a bit of a difference to their performance. Obviously LRR and Brighton have always had a really good relationship, so we’ll be rooting for them, but I think Windsor might have the edge. Windsor are very confident in their blockers’ abilities, so are happy to run their jams longer than you might expect; you can never assume that they’ll call off the jam, so a lot of your standard tactics go out of the window. I don’t know a lot about LRR’s tactics at this point, but I know I’d be looking out for Rammit. The Rockers could still make the Playoffs, but it would require strong wins against Portsmouth today and LRR in August – along with results elsewhere going your way. Is that something you’re aiming for? Or is Tier 1 a step too far for Brighton at this stage? I think we’ve taken a fairly relaxed attitude to the campaign this year. We’re aware that we’re not in the strongest position right now, and I honestly think that we’d be out of our depth in Tier 1 for the time being. Not that it wouldn’t be a fantastic achievement to get there. Maybe in 2017...
PORTSMOUTH ROLLER WENCHES
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Portsmouth’s stand-in bench coach ADMIRAL talks us through today’s vital game for the Hampshire side...
WENCH BENCH It’s been all losses for the Wenches so far in Champs, although those games were against the current divisional top three. Were you expecting these results? We’ve had a tough few games at the start of the season. We had some injuries to contend with, and also a big gap between our first two games. We knew we were coming into the Champs in a tough group as one of the lower ranked teams, but we’ve fought hard to keep the differentials close. Whilst we have lost, we have kept the opposition scores relatively low and the Wench spirit has remained strong. You’re facing the Rockers today. What do you know of the Sussex side and what will you be looking out for on track? We know Brighton really well and have seen them grow since their foundation. We have seen some of their Champs games, but it’s all about game day! For obvious reasons we can’t say too much about strategy, beyond saying that we will be expecting tough walls, hard hits and great jamming. Similarly, what should people in the crowd look out for from the Wenches, in terms of players and tactics? Wenches will be bringing their usual mix of character, flair and spirit. We are super excited to have Peggy Peril back with us, and our newer skaters have really been doing great stuff, but tactics wise – the crowd will have to wait and see! This is a big game. A loss for the Wenches today would see you relegated to Tier 3, whilst a win would leave you and Brighton vying for fourth place on the final day. Have you prepared for both eventualities? It’s a huge game in our first season in the British Champs, but we have to just play one game at a time. We know that this game will lead to one of
us going down to Tier 3, so it’s going to be a fight, but it’s great to be in such a tough group playing some of our heroes. We haven’t counted ourselves out yet... so your readers shouldn’t either! Today’s other game features the division’s unbeaten sides, LRR and Windsor. Having faced both sides already this season, how do you think that game will go? Both teams were incredibly hard games for us and their walls were TOUGH. Statistically speaking Windsor stand a good chance of making it a clean sweep, but LRR may still cause an upset. They both have some well-known, experienced and high scoring jammers, so we are looking forward to watching the game. It should be intense! Finally, do you have any message for the PRW fans in the crowd here today? We do have some amazing and amazingly loud Wench fans, so... LET’S GO WENCHES, LET’S GO!
TURN LEFT ONES TO WATCH Portsmouth’s squad probably features more facial decoration than any other UK derby league, with RIP McMURPHY’s face paint amongst the most iconic. She remains one of the Wenches’ biggest threats – deadly in the star, super physical in the pack – although NINA NUNCHUCKS is probably PRW’s most effective jammer overall these days. In defence, deceptively slight captain THE DUCHESS OF CRUTCHES (formerly of New Jersey’s Garden State and London Rollergirls) meshes things together, with the likes of DROPKICK MOLLY and HALCYON DAZE adding steel to the walls.
ROCKERS vS WENCHES
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Do you have any special gameday rituals or superstitions?
I always put on my Duchess mask for game days so I guess that is a ritual. I have competed now with three different leagues in my derby career so I have mask mesh in Garden State green, LRG pink (and Suffrajet turquoise) and Wench royal blue.
I always wear my bout make-up, I always try and go for a little run in the morning, or before the game, and I always try and do something jumpy in the warm-up.
Is there any particular song that motivates you for playing derby?
‘Go Hard’ by Kreayshawn. I was listening to it in my episode of Roller Derby Till I Die but the producers couldn’t get the rights so they pumped over some completely horrendous stock music instead. Now people think that’s what I listen to. Euw!
‘Destroyer’ by Static-X.
What skates/wheels do you play in and how long have you had them?
I skate in vintage Riedell 595s. They are kangaroo leather and from the early 80s. I have Reactor plates and use Atom Wheels. I got my set-up from Bonnie Thunders and OMG at Five Stride when I lived in NYC. They’re the most comfortable footwear I own.
I skate in Antiks. I’ve had them about three years. In terms of wheels. I skate on 95a Zombie Lows. I love them so much.
Do you have a particular ‘special move’ you’re known for?
I’m a shorty so I get low low low low, low low low low.
My stoopid facial expressions!
Have you played any other sports at all?
Is raving a sport? I did a lot of dancing in the 90s!
The tiniest bit of rugby when I was at school. These days no other sports, but a lot of strength and fitness work outside of training.
What’s your favourite roller derby related item that you own?
A limited edition Suzy Hotrod print. She signed it to me a few years ago when I was a member of Gotham Rec League.
Noise Tank got my helmet customised by Snub23, my favourite graffiti artist.
What’s your favourite part of a derby track?
The start line. This is where the test of each jam begins. This is where the gauntlet is thrown down.
Whichever bit I can sneak through on.
What did you find the hardest element of Minimum Skills to pass?
I think the basic skill that I took the longest to learn was a good plough. They take years to master. I still work on them all the time.
Oh my god, transitions took me FOREVER.
What’s the best advice you received when learning to play derby?
From a friend who is no longer with us, Beulah Ballbreaker who benched my first open door game. She told me I was a confident lady and that will take me far in the sport. She was right and I’ve faked it till I made it ever since.
You have good days and bad days, take them as they come. And always push yourself out of your comfort zone.
What’s the strangest thing you’ve crashed into on skates?
A steel basketball pole whilst my derby wife RIP McMurphy and I were learning to roller skate in Southsea. It shook me so hard that I felt it in my butthole. (Am I allowed to say that?)
Probably not that strange, but I nearly took a whole shop window out in Croydon once. It made a great sound.
Do you have any special after party talents?
Whisky slaps seem to be my after party talent.
Getting crunk.
What advice would you give someone thinking about taking up derby?
Do it. It will be the best thing you’ve done for yourself.
DO IT.
ROCKERS FRESH MEAT
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TASTE OF FRESH MEAT
With the Rockers 2015 Fresh Meat intake shortly due to graduate, we catch up with two of those who took part, but first we hear from one of the coaches...
How many people started out on this most recent Rockers Fresh Meat course and how many of those do you think will graduate (pass their Minimum Skills)? We had 27 in our intake and 25 should pass this summer. The only two who won’t are students who have gone home for the holidays. We leave no woman behind! Has interest in Rockers FM got bigger or smaller in recent years? I think there are more people who are interested in what derby really is. A couple of years ago we’d have a lot of people interested in the idea of derby, but when it came to the regular practising and intense physical challenge, they were not always so keen. As time has gone on and the sport has become more athletically-focused, people have come with the attitude that they want to train hard and play harder. Do people contact you or do you actively ‘recruit’ freshies? Most people had been to games, seen derby played and e-mailed us under their own steam. We always have an advert in the programme of each game which seems to be where most of the interest comes from. People who see derby and want to play it always have more of a realistic approach to training. We flyer at local events such as Takepart, where we did get a little bit of interest this year, but the most effective advertising seems to be from people watching games.
Will the Rockers new B-team help with introduceing FM graduates into the league structure? Absolutely! We’re hoping that, by the New Year, 2015’s freshies will form the majority of the B-team. Having 25 new skaters means that we have plenty of chance to scrimmage from the moment those people pass Fresh Meat training. This means that they will get much better quicker and will be a fantastic B-team. How many weeks does the FM course usually last and what does it involve? It’s two hours once a week. Learning the basic skills takes twelve weeks. When they have been mastered, we then get on to scrimmaging, tactics and general gameplay. We suggest that skating as much as possible during your FM training is the best way to improve, so we encourage members to go to roller discos and just get good at the basics. Any exercise will help with overall fitness, so really when it comes to derby every little helps. How long is the progression from FM to A-team? This year we did our mini scrimmage with the Fresh Meat in Week 13. From then it’s a steady progression from rookie to B-team, and then from B-team to Ateam. On average players take a couple of years to get to A-team standard, but everyone is different. When is your next Fresh Meat intake? We’re hoping to have a whole new set of freshies starting just after Christmas. In the meantime any people who are interested can get involved in other ways like reffing or learning the officiating roles. As for skating skills, there’s nothing better than skating often, so roller discos are a good way to practice and prepare.
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What’s your background in sport and what led you to join Rockers Fresh Meat? I’m the least sporty person ever. In fact, I don’t think I have done any sports since PE in school and even then I’d choose the position which required the least effort. I know it’s a cheesy representation of roller derby but it was the film Whip It that actually introduced me to the sport. I think shortly after re-watching it last year I read an online interview with the Rockers. It actually hadn’t even occurred to me that derby existed in the UK! I was terrified but excited at the prospect of doing it, so decided to bite the bullet and enquired about Fresh Meat. I then went to a couple of local roller discos so that I felt steadier on my feet, but before that I hadn’t skated since I was about ten years old. Has the course been what you were expecting? I’ve really been surprised at how much I’ve progressed generally, considering I couldn’t even stand still on skates before Week 1. I’m not very good at going fast. As soon as I begin to pick up speed I get a bit scared and think ‘ooh I better slow down a bit’. I need to get over that to even have a chance at skating 27 laps in five minutes. I picked up crossovers and transitions quite quickly, but I still get a bit scared about picking one foot up and balancing on the other. I didn’t really know what to expect when I signed up, but Kapow and Hairy Fairy, who have been coaching Fresh Meat, have been absolutely brilliant. They’re so patient with all of us and great at explaining things. Looking ahead to your upcoming Minimum Skills test, what are your expectations? I’m quite nervous about it. I suppose that’s because I want to do the best that I can. I’m scared about being watched so closely as I feel like that will make me really self-conscious, and perhaps I then won’t be able to perform as well. But I’m also looking forward to having an understanding of what I’m doing well at and also which of the elements still need a bit more work. Bring it on!
CLASS OF 2015
What’s your background in skating and what made you decide to join Fresh Meat? I had never really skated before going to a Rockers taster session a few months ago. I’m pretty into sport and I love cycling, and I’m always keen to try out new things. I moved down from Scotland for a job a year ago and made some friends who do/did roller derby. I’d never really considered it in the past, because I didn’t know how popular derby actually was, and I didn’t really know much about it. I had been to the Brighton Rockers fifth anniversary game a few weeks before and loved the whole atmosphere and community of it. It seemed pretty daunting because of the commitment and the level of skill required to get involved, but I was really keen to try it out. So I went along to the taster session and I was totally hooked. What parts of the Fresh Meat programme have you found the easiest and hardest? Getting to grips with skating has probably been the biggest challenge. I knew this would be the case, but I’m itching to get good enough at skating so I can actually focus on being good at derby. I like that roller derby encompasses both skill with skating and applying that to be good at derby. I’m finding skating a lot easier now thanks to Kapow and Hairy Fairy. They have really been a great support when teaching us general skating, as well as relating back to the importance of knowing this for when we play derby. Before starting Fresh Meat, I was concerned that I might not pick it up well or struggle with a lot of aspects of skating, but everyone at FM is so supportive and there’s a real sense of community that comes with sport. No one at FM is doing this for themselves, and we’re doing it as a collective effort. We’re all going to be team mates in the future, and it’s clear that everyone has that team mentality already. What are your expectations for Minimum Skills? I’m really looking forward to the skills test! I’m nervous for sure, but it’s going to be a good chance to see how far I’ve come and reflect on what I need to improve on in future. I’m looking forward to things like stops, skating backwards and transitions. I’m really looking forward to doing the 27 laps in five minutes, because we’ve not had a chance to try it on a full-size track yet.
RANDOM QUESTION CHALLENGE
Have you ever seen a ghost? Perhaps. When I was 17 I took a picture of my sister which had a TV in the background. When I zoomed in on it there was crystal clear image of an extremely unsettling woman. What TV series could be improved by everyone being on skates? Some will argue Game of Thrones can’t be improved, but I’m pretty sure comedy value would be added if they were all on roller skates. What superpower would you most like to have? The ability to fly. Planes are terrifying, but swooping around of my own accord would be great I imagine. Which of your teammates is secretly a cyborg? Racey for sure, she’s unstoppable! I’ve never heard of such a quick turnaround from being pregnant to getting back on skates. She throws us all off with the vegan identity, but underneath she’s 100% cyborg.
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How long can you plank for? Two minutes if I concentrate. I think. It’s been a while since I tried! Can you recall your most punishing derby training session? Yes. My first ever one with the Rockers. I’d just moved to Brighton and was feeling quite overwhelmed, then cycled nine miles to the warehouse, having not had much food and in an emotionally delicate state. They just about ruined me, but I still had to cycle nine miles back home. No idea what it involved other than being hit like a punch bag. Which Rocker would make the best stand-up comedian? Emma the Condemner for sure. She is full of excellent stories, which are all hilarious, and the best bit is that they’re funny cos they’re true!