STATS AND STUFF
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MEETING TURN FOUR This is (by a few days) the earliest in any calendar year the Rockers have put on a bout. Which is lucky as 2014 is shaping up to be the league’s busiest to date with the next home bout in just four weeks time and an early May one to follow. This has caused some amount of panicking in the world of Turn Left, now faced with trying to turn around three mags in as many months, yikes! So extra huge thanks to all our interviewees – from Brighton, Rainy City and elsewhere – and the awesome photographers who let us use their pictures in the mag. Special thanks as ever to the advertisers, who cover enough of our print bill to make a free magazine feasible; please give them whatever custom, goodwill and derby love you can. Though this is our smallest issue yet, it’s also our most packed as we speak to more Brighton skaters than we did in issues 1-3 combined! Sadly, January saw no Rockers making the cut for the Team England World Cup training squad – although only three leagues had more players through to the final tryout session, so we’re sure this obvious clerical error will be rectified next time! In better news, as we were going to press we learned that Mistress (who talks about her injuries on page 17) has been given the all-clear to resume light training. Yay! See you again in four weeks for all the stuff we didn’t have room for this time. GO ROCKERS!
2013 IN REVIEW
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YEAR VIEW MIRROR We couldn’t decide which member of BRIGHTON ROCKERS ROLLER DERBY to talk to for this review of last year... so we ended up interviewing almost everyone! The Rockers kicked off JANUARY by blooding a new Fresh Meat intake. Hippy Hippy Skate: I was one of the new freshies, starting 2013 off in style. I wasn’t particularly hard to recruit – after getting a bit bored of rugby I was thrilled by a new challenge. I had to scramble to find the right kit in time for the taster days and was so self-conscious over having a bike helmet rather than a proper derby helmet! I was the first one to dramatically fall in the taster day and everyone cheered. Embarrassing and reassuring at the same time! The training’s been pretty intense at times and along the way we’ve lost most of the Fresh Meat intake we started with – it takes a lot of dedication to keep it up. I absolutely love it though, and have had so much fun going from a complete beginner to actually managing to stay on my skates most of the time rather than on my ass. Here’s hoping I improve the same amount in 2014! In FEBRUARY several Rockers modelled for a life drawing class. Emma the Condemner: I do quite a lot of work with Jake Spicer of Draw Brighton, and he kindly agreed to host a derby-themed life drawing class as a Brighton Rockers fundraising event. Gladly for us, people seem to love the novelty of drawing us in our full kit and skates, so we didn’t have to all get naked! As we always love a challenge and like to push ourselves to the max, some of the poses we chose were definitely ambitious. Mistress Von Über Vixen
held some crazy hamstring stretch for about ten minutes, and Anti Gravetty and Kapow held a ‘comedy derby pile up’ pose for a very long half hour! It was a great turnout with around fifty artists coming along to draw us. I have never before witnessed a bunch of derby girls sit so still, calm and quiet for so long. The bouting season kicked off in MARCH with a home double header: A-team v London Rockin’ Rollers and B-team v Portsmouth. Mistress Von Über Vixen: The season opener is always a big deal. At the end of each year, we set goals for the league in the coming season. 2013 saw us reach higher than we ever had before. The year had its ups and downs, but wins were not our only objective; we strove to learn as much as possible and certainly did! The Mighty Mighty Bash: I was 50/50 on this bout. On the one hand I was really looking forward to a rematch after a closed door bout we had with the Rockin’ Rollers a while back, but on the other they are my friends and old teammates. Half of those girls got me to be what I am as a skater today, teaching me how to play this sport and challenging me on the way. I knew I wouldn’t play my best that day as
TL I was a bunch of nerves, so I wasn’t surprised when I picked up so many penalties. It’s always hard to play against friends, especially as they know how you play and vice versa. Brighton has a pretty good relationship with LRR. We love each other to bits, but I’m glad we took the win ;) Better luck next time! APRIL saw defeat away to Glasgow as the Rockers lost several prominent A-teamers to injury. Racey Slamhard: Glasgow was a really interesting game for us and was incredibly tough both mentally and physically. I think this was when we realised just how many changes we were going to have to make for the rest of the 2013 season. After this we started moving some of our less experienced players into regular rotations to replace those that were injured. We started shuffling our packs around a bit to get used to playing with skaters that we may have not played with so much before. We also realised how much we needed to work on our physical strength since we are a team generally full of ‘small’ players. Definitely a learning game! Shambolic: We set up some really challenging bouts for 2013 and this was one, though I spent about twenty minutes playing and four hours in Glasgow A&E. Not my favourite place to spend my Saturday, especially still in my vest and pants! Fortunately no major damage and only three months off, though the flight back led to interesting swelling. I made it limping to the after party which was awesome, though my main memory from that night is when our hostel fire alarm went off and the entire building was evacuated. I only realised this when being woken up by a lovely/concerned fireman, closely followed by Chariot Sophia, and taken down bodily. Apparently I was sleeping so small that no one could find me in my bed! We now have an appointed fire safety official (thanks Enyo Face). The Rockers took part in the UK Roller Derby Association southern tournament in MAY. Derby McGee: Tournament play was a new experience for Brighton and certainly a learning one. Playing multiple bouts was very tiring, but an amazing chance to reset, refocus and challenge ourselves with each game. We wanted to play the tournament for the experience, to learn new things about ourselves as a team. Racey: Tournaments are definitely something we’d consider again in the future. Playing games in quick succession was tough and something that I think we
2013 IN REVIEW may have underestimated – we were knackered by the time we got to our final game. We went up against my old league LRG over the weekend, and we put them through a tough game so I loved that :) Maude Fondeo: This was a crazy two days! It was the first time we had a range of skaters to choose from and our first real exposure to having lots of injuries in the first team. It was great to see other teams play, but tactically was a weird one for us. We tried something and it didn’t work – we know for next time now! We got to meet loads of teams and the changing room was huge so we mingled. We didn’t get to play against Central City, but contacts were made to meet later in the year. Little did they know! It was a perfect weekend to show what roller derby is all about – camaraderie ’til the end. JUNE saw the league ‘take it easy’ with a boutfree month. Sham: We train several times a week for most of the year, and it’s the weeks leading up to a bout that are often the most important. There’s a real push from everyone to attend every training session. It’s like the mad rush before Christmas. Even if we’re not bouting or arranging bouts, we’re doing other awesome things, from fundraising for the league/charity to raising awareness of derby. So far in 2014 we’ve had life drawing, some of us are doing the Warrior Run (off skates), pub quizzes and more! In a JULY heatwave, the B-team Bruisers bouted in a greenhouse in the Midlands! Racey: This was a great but tough game for our Bruisers. Many skaters on the team hadn’t had much bouting experience and the heat was appalling. I think we did extremely well all things considered. This was a special game for me as it was my first experience of being a team captain. I really enjoyed it. We’ve vowed never to play in such heat again unless there’s PLENTY of ice nearby! Mistress: I’ve bench coached several Bruisers bouts and love it. It used to be said that the skaters would always be able to hear me (some people have mentioned that I can be a bit loud) but also that they would always know it was me because of my ‘funny accent’. This bout was a scorcher! Skaters from both teams found a small area in the hall where the concrete was exposed. It was the (relatively) coolest place in the room, and it was a great derby moment in which both teams bonded over finding any relief from that heat, regardless of tactics, strategy, game face and fierce competition.
2013 IN REVIEW There was a flamboyant showing from the Rockers at AUGUST’s Brighton Pride. Dr Whooligan: August is always a strange month. Lots of Rockers go to festivals or jet off on well-deserved holidays so we tend not to bout. Fortunately Brighton Pride takes place at the end of the month; the perfect excuse to dress up, skate and raise the profile of the league. This year’s theme was ‘Gay Icons’ and the Rockers didn’t disappoint with an amazing turnout of 80s Divas. Madonna, Liza Minnelli, Elton John, Dolly Parton, Cyndi Lauper, Kiss and an amazing pair of leopard print trousers both walked and skated the route. Unfortunately the giant roller skate couldn’t make its appearance, but hopefully we’ll find a new Land Rover to convert for this year’s! Hippy: Pride was a really great atmosphere. I was walking rather than skating, as I found the idea of the hills rather terrifying, but it was so much fun watching the skaters zoom up and down, occasionally showing off with a few spins or pace lines. The crowd seemed to enjoy it a lot, too! Twelve penalty free opening jams saw Brighton defeat a highly rated Leeds side in SEPTEMBER. Bash: I don’t know what happened. We just played so calmly it all kind of fell into place. I remember thinking it was weird no one had been to the box yet. Sham: Penalties (and jammer penalties especially) can easily make or break a bout. We used to be not proud, but aware, of being a very penalty heavy team. However, our bench and line-up, the lovely Mass Janeycide and Maude Fondeo, have somehow managed to shake it out of us. I think they found it too painful to watch. This was a strange game for me. Because I’d been off for a while, my brain was playing derby but my body may as well have been doing a tango! The Hairy Fairy: It seemed like we all just reached this weird calm plateau and played at our best while it lasted! When you don’t have to worry about teammates in the box, you can pour all your concentration into playing your tactics and taking out that jammer. OCTOBER saw defeat in Edinburgh against the table-topping Auld Reekie. McGee: We went to Scotland both times in 2013 to learn. Auld Reekie and Glasgow are phenomenal teams [first and second in the UKRDA rankings] and we were excited and terrified in equal measure to play them. Against Glasgow I realised how much CrossFit and other training had come into derby, and how important strength and fitness was becoming in the game. And from Auld Reekie, I gained a sense of how much further we still
TL had to go. Their experience on the track was incredible to play against, and it was fascinating to see the range of tactics they have. Both games were very humbling and inspiring experiences, and nobody died. Just. Bash: I don’t really want to talk about this game. It was crushing. We were actually doing very well in the first half and only down by about 60 points. We made some changes to the rotation due to some players not having any luck getting through walls, but that move definitely did not do us any favours. In this game all of our higher-skilled players got a lot of penalties. I think five or six players were one penalty from fouling out, myself included. We went home after this one and tried to really work on penalties. Also on bringing up the team to be – not necessarily at the same skill level – but the same strength, regardless of who is sitting in the box. It was tough game physically. I asked an experienced skater from a well-known top team her thoughts. She said what stood out to her the most was simply that they were physically much stronger than the majority of our players. We’re stepping up training and working with CrossFit Connect in 2014, so I’m hoping the team can change that. Mistress: Travel to away bouts is always a big concern for us and it’s the basis for quite a lot of our fundraising. Most teams have many members that struggle to get time off work. Then there are arrangements with family, not to mention the cost. There were quite a few of us that spent around ten hours driving up to Edinburgh, arriving after midnight! That said, one of my favourite Rockers road trips was a nutty journey to Gent in Belgium, which included randomly encountering the editor of this fanzine for the first time whilst trying to find our way around town. The Rockers maintain their unbeaten home open door record in NOVEMBER with a narrow victory over Central City. Bash: Most exciting bout I’ve played ever! Down for the whole first half, good team chat at half time and then I think we were up four, even, down four, even and so on for about fifteen minutes. I think I had to jam more than usual, but I was so excited I kept saying “yeah sure” – must have been the adrenaline. And then to top it off last chance saloon we put Kapow on to jam the final jam. Not a normal move for us as I think we had gone down to only our strongest three jammers jamming then.
TL Kapow was well rested but probably had the most pressure on her any player had that game – and she bloody nailed it! Epic FULL STOP. Maude: This was definitely the most exciting game I have ever line-up managed. It was full of ups and downs, tactic changes, calming moments and near misses. The last jam was nail-biting and it was the game that made me remember how much I love this sport. Mass Janeycide was super-preggers, and just collapsed and cried at the end. Even Bash had a little tear. It was an emotional rollercoaster and showed off what the Rockers do best – play as a team. We truly love each other, and needless to say it was one hell of an after party! Sham: I think our unbeaten home and away record became a bit of a ‘thing’, so that’s one of the reasons we decided to spend 2013 playing to learn with less focus on winning. We played awesome teams and learned so much, lost away from home yet still felt like we came out on top. With away bouts, there’s also less pressure. We’d feel like we were cheating our fans
2013 IN REVIEW if we chose to put on a home bout where we anticipated getting not just beaten but smashed! (Away we’re grateful for the experience.) We’ve got some amazing bouts lined up for 2014, and personally I’m just happy to be playing such high level derby, win or lose. Didn’t your mum tell you that it’s not the winning but the taking part that counts? That and the party. The end of DECEMBER brought with it the closure of the Rockers’ Shoreham training venue. Racey: GYSO was a great venue for us and the local community, so it’s been a real shame to lose it. We are now settled into our new training venues though, and looking onwards and upwards for the 2014 season. We have some really exciting bouts in the pipeline and we have more home games this season, which is great. A brand new bunch of Fresh Meat have just started as well, so it will be nice to get some new people into the league to shake things up a bit. Maude: An even more important milestone for the Rockers happened in December when our first Rocker Baby was born. Mass Janeycide gave birth to a very beautiful and healthy boy named Nicky. He now has thirty aunties who will spoil him rotten. Congratulations Mumma Janeycide! x
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GO FOURTH!
TODAY’S THE DAY
Today’s bout v Rainy City marks the fourth birthday of the Brighton Rockers. Turn Left talks presents and celebrations with CONSPICUOUS BANGER... Today is the league’s fourth birthday. Yesterday was, to be exact. Do you remember your own fourth birthday? If you could travel back in time to then, what (derby-related) present and/or advice would you give yourself? Yay! Happy birthday to us! I don’t actually remember my own fourth birthday, but I would definitely like to go back in time and give my younger self the gift of some proper disco roller skates. Mainly so I could have got the falling down bit over with before starting to play derby.
talents myself, but give Bash, Sophia and Janey a theme and they will come up with an excellent, extremely well choreographed dance routine (worthy of entertaining The Queen herself) in absolutely no time.
If you could give the Rockers anything at all as a birthday gift, what would it be? I think the obvious one would be a nice shiny warehouse to practise in, with air con and a decent floor with a permanent track. Probably with a free bar and burritos for everyone, lasers like in Resident Evil for agility training, and a full time live-in masseuse.
Where do you see the Rockers being in four years time? That’s a difficult one. I’d like to think that we will continue to grow both in numbers and strength. We have accomplished so much already in the last four years, and if we can keep up momentum we will be pretty much unstoppable. And definitely we will play and beat [the world’s top derby side] Gotham.
Any birthday gifts you’d like to get for individual Rockers? I would get our Head Ref Laser Hammer a haircut; Mistress a new leg and shoulder; Cake or Death the power of flight so she stops getting annoyed at trains all the time; some socks for Shambolic, and an extra day in the week for Racey. If you could throw a special fourth birthday bash for the Rockers anywhere in the world, where and why? I think we could all do with a nice holiday somewhere warm right about now, so let’s go to Naxos; we could have a big beach party, lay in hammocks, go swimming in clear warm water, drink cocktails and have a bonfire. If the Rockers were booked to be the entertainment at a stranger’s birthday, what would you do (as a group or individually)? I have no saleable
Do you know much of today’s opponents, Rainy City? Any particular players or tactics to look out for? I know that they have a strong team of officials behind them, so they are likely to be well on point rules-wise. And that they’re a long-running, well-organised team who have their sights set high. For sure we will be seeing some great roller derby from these girls. Of course we will have our eyes on Fay Roberts, who recently made Team England. Do the Rockers have any (birthday) tricks up their sleeve for Rainy City today? Absolutely. We will force the Rainy girls to eat far too much jelly and ice cream beforehand, so they all get sugar crashes just in time for the first whistle. Would you like to predict the result of the bout? Not at all. I can predict that everyone will have a great time and meet amazing people. That is guaranteed. It will be a powerful game to watch, but there is just no way to predict what will happen. We all know a single power jam can be an absolute game changer.
RAINY CITY
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OLDHAM UP
We caught up with Rainy City’s KATASTROPHIC KANDI and HARLOT JO RANSOM ahead of today’s bout... Hi there. Can you tell us about your league’s history and achievements to date? We were founded in 2008. After training in various sports halls across Manchester, we opened our own training and bouting venue in Oldham in 2011. The past few years have seen lots of great successes for us as a league, such as our travel team being invited to their first WFTDA sanctioned European bout in Belgium, becoming full members of WFTDA and the creation of our starter level C-team, The Bet Lynch Mob. We won UKRDA’s Sur5al tournament at Tattoo Freeze last year, and also came top at (and hosted) Northern Sur5al. We were shortlisted for Sports Club of the Year in Oldham – it was great to get that recognition from the local community, which can be difficult with a sport that some people still don’t know much about. It’s very rare for a derby league to have its own dedicated training/bouting venue. How did that come about? We love The Thunderdome! We took over the lease in 2011 after searching for a venue that had the potential to become a great space for roller derby. In its previous lives it’s been a music venue, cinema and pool hall, to name but a few. Last year we were lucky enough to be an awarded a grant to improve our venue from Sport England as part of the Inspired Facilities fund, and some of the work is just beginning! The money has gone towards the purchase of Skate Court flooring, meaning we’ll be the only roller derby league in Europe to be skating on this type of floor. We’ll also have new seating, heating and spruced up toilets. You must come visit!
What’s the roller derby scene like generally in the North West? There’s a really strong roller derby presence in the area and it’s pretty awesome! When we held Northern Sur5al at The Thunderdome we saw just how much roller derby talent the North West has to offer. There’s Manchester Roller Derby, with Liverpool Roller Birds and Wirral Whipiteres just next door. Then there’s Preston Roller Girls, Wakey Wheeled Cats and Sheffield Steel Rollers close by. Not forgetting The Furness Firecrackers who are about as far northwest as you can get. We hold a lot of bootcamps at our venue too. It’s always great to see so many of our skater friends from nearby leagues and witness the massive growth in talent and ability. Do you know much about the Rockers? Would you care to predict today’s result? We know Brighton Rockers to be a very smart and tactical team. They really know how to work together and play the game well. The Mighty Mighty Bash is on our radar as one to watch. She’s a great blocker and jammer and is a real leader on the track. Predicting a score is always a risky business, but going off Brighton’s results from last year it’s going to be a close one. Any particular RCRG players we should keep an eye out for today? Normally we’d say Missy Rascal, but she’s playing for Team England in France today. We have Fay Roberts who is in the England training squad, and Oona Bomber who got through to the second round of tryouts for Team Scotland, so there should be lots of awesome skills on show today. What ambitions do you hold for the future? WIN ALL THE BOUTS! But seriously, there are big things on the horizon for Rainy City in 2014. Another European tournament is hopefully on the cards and then who knows? Maybe we’ll make that trip across the pond in the not so distant future? We’re lucky enough to have Vital Sadistic (formally of LRG) as our travel team coach. She has plenty of big ideas in store. Finally, do you have a message for any RCRG fans in today’s crowd? To the Purple Collective in the crowd, thank you for making the long trip down to see us. We hope we make you proud. ’AVE IT!
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AN OUTSIDE LINE With a close bout expected by many people today, we asked a few neutrals for their thoughts... “I don’t like to single players out, but Bash always leaves me in awe. I used to joke that there were only two players in the UK who could get away with hip checking a car – Central City’s Tragic Wrath (no longer skating as far as I know) and The Mighty Mighty Bash. Having watched her grow and develop as a player I can’t put into words how many shades of terrifying she is in the right setting. Shambolic also gets two thumbs up based solely on her performance against Leeds last year – I can only wonder at the nightmares she left them with post-bout. It’s also fair to say that the Rockers have a deep jammer roster, and they’re always ably supported by the pack. Give them an inch and they’ll hit it and quit it all the way to the end of the bout. Rainy City Roller Girls are, like so many leagues, in an almost constant state of flux. They maintain three travel teams, so there’s always movement within their ranks. Just like any other league, the outcome will depend on so many variables. RCRG fared reasonably at the 2013:SKOD tournament and they’ll carry that experience and growth into 2014. Expect them to play a fast-paced game, which always amuses me given that they are, by and large, one of the unhealthiest leagues I know – if they’re not all outside having a cigarette at half time I’ll be very surprised! From my own personal experience, the players to watch (in the absence of Missy Rascal) include R.E.D and Dee-Mise – who, I should point out, skates just as fast backwards as forwards! It would be remiss of me not to mention Maddy Nuff who, as part of [UK-wide co-ed] Team Nitemare, is one of ‘my’ skaters too.” EL TOUPÉE, TODAY’S BOUT DAY ANNOUNCER At the time of going to press, the main rankings website (flattrackstats.com) has Rainy placed fifth with 666.5 ranking points, whilst the Rockers are tenth with 644.5. The Northerners have a 60% win chance to Brighton’s 40%, and RCRG are predicted to score 19 points for every 17 from Brighton. This is based on the official UKRDA ranking system. The same site’s Europe-wide table uses a different algorithm, and has Rainy (14th, 672.5) with a 53% win probability against 47% for the Sussex side (18th, 658.6). The expected points ratio here is 34-33 in RCRG’s favour. This would equate to something like a 165-170 final score. Eek!
BOUT PREVIEW
RECENT RCRG RESULTS 25/5/13 v Birmingham Blitz Dames 248-150 6/7/13 v LEEDS ROLLER DOLLS 238-151 8/9/13 v CENTRAL CITY ROLLERGIRLS 249-196 5/10/13 v LRG BRAWL SAINTS 66-328 26/10/13 v Glasgow Roller Derby 111-240 9/11/13 v Bear City (Berlin) Roller Derby 155-279 8/2/14 v Newcastle Roller Girls N/A* Rainy City’s score listed first, home bouts are in capitals * We went to press before last weekend’s Newcastle bout
“This is gonna be such a tight match-up. Both teams have some iconic players on their rosters, yet the style of play will be quite different. We predict Brighton will have the edge, but it should be close.” LORRAE EVANS, LONDON ROLLERGIRLS “We had a great time playing against Brighton last year. It was a pretty exciting game, and although we were leading into the second half, the Rockers came back determined and organised. There were several lead changes in the last few jams and ultimately Brighton snatched the win. What stood out for me was their teamwork on track and their solid defensive walls. They throw a pretty impressive after party too! Likewise, Rainy City are a force to be reckoned with. They’ve got some strong, experienced skaters and will be well-prepared for this game, having played several high-ranking leagues in recent months. I wouldn’t like to call it, but whichever way it goes it’s sure to be one to watch.” TINCHY SLIDER, CENTRAL CITY ROLLERGIRLS
NEXT: BRIGHTON v PARIS The Rockers return to Haywards Heath on March 15th to take on Paris... “Paris Rollergirls are, without a doubt, one of my favourite ‘new’ leagues. Several of them are Team France players, though some may be absent due to involvement with the Men’s World Cup. If they’re on hand – and on skates – keep your eyes on Butch Shan, Sally Broyeur, Roxy Bat Girl, Meryl StripHer, Crapule and Billy Bunker, to name just a few. In fact, don’t take your eyes off any of PRG. They have a habit of turning a massive loss into a victory, even if the points don’t truly reflect that.” EL TOUPÉE
THE JAMMER LINE
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Do you have any special bout day rituals or superstitions?
Having a really good shower the night before usually helps me get in the right mindset. It washes away some of the fear!
Bananas. I must eat them before and during a bout.
Is there any special song/music that motivates you for bouting?
Not really, but sometimes our bench coach and line-up manager get us all singing and dancing together just before bouts. That’s nice and motivating. Last time was Katy Perry’s ‘Roar’.
I like listening to fast 90s punk rock music with Oona Bomber as it eases the nerves.
I don’t have a number to score in mind – just hopefully more than I give away. You know, earn my keep, so to speak.
Good question. That depends on how many times I jam. I will be very happy with 40.
How many points are you personally hoping to score today?
Any of today’s opposing blockers you are particularly wary of?
I’ll be wary of all of them. You can’t get too complacent.
The Mighty Mighty Bash of course!
What skates do you bout in and how long have you had them?
Riedell 495s – I’ve had them since September 2013 and I love them. I had Riedell R3s before that and they served me proud right from my beginning days until last Autumn. They’re enjoying their retirement days now.
My gold Bonts. I have had them a year and a bit. I love them.
Do you have a particular ‘signature move’ you’re known for?
I’ve had people say that I must have springs in my knees because I get up quickly from the floor. Mainly I’ve just had a lot of practice of falling down and need to be quick to make up for it.
I think I’ll keep that secret until the bout day ;-)
What’s your greatest achievement in roller derby?
Can I have two? One was the last bout where, with the help of my lovely blockers, I managed not to lose the game for everyone on the final jam. The other was finding out at after parties that I’m pretty talented at eating dry Weetabix.
Getting through to the final stage of Team England tryouts, then making it into the national training squad.
Ha! I’m not there yet! But there’s a nice space on the fridge that a certificate would look quite snazzy in.
Argh! I’m really bad at filing stuff.
Where do you keep your MVP/best jammer/etc certificates? What’s your favourite part of a derby track?
Far enough in front of the last blocker where you know you’re safe for a few seconds :D
The inside line, round the apex.
Can you sum up your bout day mindset in seven words or less? Keep calm and carry on.
Excitement, nerves, team mates, hive mind, communication. That’s seven words!
What present would you like to give the Rockers for their fourth birthday?
I’d buy them an acre of land on the moon... space derby!
Well, a good sing-song doesn’t go amiss on a birthday, does it? Maybe the birthday bumps? I’m definitely not gonna give them a birthday win that easily.
Do you have a message for your opposite number?
What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
Hiya!
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COMING THROUGH
FOXX HUNTING
We continue our series on newer Rockers skaters with a recent transfer, ULTRAFOXX, who has an A-team place in her sights... You quite recently transferred from Northampton’s Vendetta Vixens. What was your background with the Vixens and skating in general? I was an ice figure skater when I was younger. I can’t remember the dates and had a gap for a while, but in the end it added up to a good few years. I stopped when I was about sixteen – around the same time that I discovered The Lounge nightclub in Northampton – and hadn’t skated on anything from then until I joined the Vixens when I was 27. I’d known about them for ages, but I worked in a bar and found it difficult to come to practice, then I changed jobs and took it up. I thought it was awesome and I soon made the team, but in my first bout I had absolutely no clue of the rules.
Is switching leagues and suddenly having a whole new set of teammates, a strange experience? I didn’t find it too strange as I’d only actually been with the Vixens six months or so and I was really excited to join the Rockers, so just went with it. I didn’t know Kapow before I came here, but she used to play for MK Cows, who are based in the next town over from the Vixens. We got in touch through a mutual friend [Woody of Quads of War] and she was amazing in helping me get settled. But everyone is great and fun, especially at after parties, so it’s good.
Is the set-up in Brighton much different to what you’re used to? We do more off-skates fitness stuff than I did with the Vixens, but I think they’re doing more recently. There’s a lot more emphasis on teamwork, default strategy, set line-ups and so on with the Rockers. In terms of socialising, it’s exactly the same.
You were an established Vixens A-teamer. You’re having to bide your time in Brighton. Is that frustrating? The Foxx waits, the Foxx strikes! No, it’s not frustrating at all. I have actually only been playing derby a year, and the Rockers are ranked very much higher than the Vixens. The level of gameplay here’s so good. I’ve learned so much and still have loads more to learn, especially in terms of developing my ‘derby brain’ and thinking strategically. That side needs to catch up with my skating ability, which it’s doing.
Are you still in touch with any Vixens teammates, and have you been back to watch them since transferring? I still keep in touch with them as they are all lovely friends, but I haven’t been to see them skate. This is mostly because I’m doing a full-time Masters, work part-time and train with the Rockers, so I don’t really have time to even do my laundry. But they’re progressing so well.
What’s your favourite derby position, your main strengths and weaknesses, and how would you describe your derby style? I like jamming the best, but it also makes me very nervous. Style-wise, I’ve been described as a wrecking ball. For some reason I seem to be quite strong and my footwork is pretty good, but I get penalties, especially forearm ones. I think that I need to achieve more zen to avoid these as they usually come from being a bit nervous at the start. That will come with practice... and extensive soul searching. When I’m blocking I think I’m good at chasing the jammer, but pretty useless at executing effective hits. Must work on my hitting. What are your ambitions going forward? I hope to make the full Rockers roster, and I’m going to focus a lot on my blocking, get stronger in walls, hitting etc. I want to stay with the team a long time and hope to become a solid member. Kapow and I have also set ourselves a four-year deadline for England tryouts.
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BREAKING BAD
INJURY TIME
Injuries are a well known risk on the derby track. Rockers icon MISTRESS VON ÜBER VIXEN talks us through the pain... Derby has a reputation as an injury heavy sport. What are the most widespread risks? The most common derby injuries are to the ankles and knees. To have the mobility to skate the way we do, derby skates are cut below the ankle joint; this allows for freedom of movement, but also has the potential for a skater to ‘roll’ an ankle, usually resulting in a sprain. Knees take quite a lot of punishment during practice and gameplay. We highly recommend to all new skaters that if they are going to invest in any piece of kit over another, high quality knee pads should be first on the list. Many bouting skaters often have aches/ pains/bruises, but thankfully it is relatively rare that we encounter serious injuries. How many injuries have you picked up over your derby career to date? Any that made you consider taking up a less physical sport instead? Almost too many to count! I come from an athletic background and therefore I’m used to dealing with injury, so it’s a bit par for the course with me. I have separated both my shoulders (one courtesy of a legal hit from a teammate), sprained both my ankles, had a moderately severe haematoma on my hip and broken my leg. I prefer aggressive and highly physical sports. I’ve played American football, ice hockey and box lacrosse in the past, so I guess the answer to that last bit is NO. Do you relive the moment you pick up an injury in your mind, or try to move on from it mentally (if not physically) as soon as possible? It’s important to make (mental) peace with your injury. All skaters returning to play derby have what we call “the fear”. It’s a normal phenomenon. However, over time you learn to trust your skills and take your rehab seriously, but the most important aspect of returning from injury is not to rush it. Coming back too soon leaves you vulnerable to re-damaging what you’ve just spent time and effort repairing. Not only that, but if you’re compensating for (or protecting) an injury, you run the risk of damaging something else. What was your own most recent major injury and how long did it keep you off skates? I currently have a non-derby related injury to my neck which has prolonged my time away from training, but I spent
just over five months off skates when I broke my leg in May of last year. Is there any particular form of rehab that’s useful for roller derby players recovering from injury? It obviously depends on the injury, but one of the things that I’ve found most useful for both my ankle injuries and my leg is a wobble board. It’s a flat disc with a firm hemisphere underneath that allows you to practice your balance by strengthening the intrinsic structures in your feet and ankles. Do you get much support from teammates while out of action? Absolutely! Derby is like an extended family. I’ve had a great amount of support from my teammates, both practically as visits and care packages when I was housebound, as well as moral support to endure and continue with my recovery. We even (not so) jokingly have A&E buddies! Many skaters continue to be involved with their team whilst out injured and even once they retire. Is that the case with the Brighton Rockers? Yes. The most notable is Mass Janeycide. She was one of the founding members of BRRD and skated with us at the beginning, but due to injury was no longer able to skate. She has been (and continues to be) an integral part of the team as our most excellent bench coach. Personally, I continue to be the primary Fresh Meat coach – the last batch I taught whilst on crutches – but derby leagues do not exist through training alone. There’s a plethora of behind-the-scenes work that goes into maintaining a successful league. Former and/or injured skaters play prominent roles, such as our bout co-ordinator Sal Gore, line-up manager Maude Fondeo and Head NSO, Snow Mercy. Finally, any message for anyone out there who might be considering taking up the sport, but is put off by how dangerous it looks? We make it very clear to those wishing to join us that injuries do happen. We take every precaution when training freshies to teach them safe skating practices, but we also stress that preventative strengthening of muscles and joints goes a long way to keeping skaters healthy.
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A PIECE OF CAKE Cornered in the Cornerstone, CAKE OR DEATH? picks from our 26 sealed question envelopes... Have you named your skates? If so, what are they called? If not please name them now. Pinot Grigio and Sauvignon Blanc. No explanation needed. Twiglets – yes or no? I have coeliac disease and Twiglets have wheat in them, which is a travesty really because they’re proper lush. What’s the last book you read? Can you review it in ten words please. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins. “Soon as I finished it I started again. And again.” Which two other Rockers would you be happiest to be stranded on a desert island with, and why? Bash, because I don’t think she would ever give up and die. But then she would moan a lot, so Chariot Sophia too, who is the best at keeping us all laughing by falling over a lot. Pretty much all the time, in fact.
You’re forced to play in a (real) zombies v (real) vampires bout. Which team do you join, and why? Probably zombies ’cause vampires are pretty fast and I’m not that fast. So I may end up dead, but I would be the fastest on my team, which would be cool. Please write us a limerick about a teammate. ‘The Rocker known as Hyde N Shriek/Was in desperate need of a leak/This would have been fine/But it wasn’t half time/So of urine the track did then reek.’ Cake or death? Ah, the irony of my name! Coeliac means cake makes me ill, and then I might die. Anyway, we’re all out of cake. There’s been a run on it...