Multiplicity Spring 2014

Spring 2014

style parties

flying solo:

coping as a single mom

room for rent 1

teach kids to earn their keep

like the pros!

special insert!

flushing the myths on

potty training

www.multiplicitymag.com

SHE’S JUST 1 OF THE 500,000 REASONS WHY CBR IS #1 WITH OB/GYN S AND EXPECTING PARENTS. *

Over 1 million children have their stem cells saved and nearly half of them are with CBR. Every day, we’re driving stem cell medicine forward. Learn how CBR can provide a lifetime of medical options today and into the future.

cordblood.com

|

1.888.240.1964

*Blind survey, Gfk Market Measures for CBR, 07.12 | Ultimate use of newborn stem cells will be determined by the treating physician, who will consider if they are applicable for the condition and should come from the patient or a suitable donor (like an HLA-matched sibling). © 2014 Cbr Systems, Inc. All rights reserved · 0314 · MA02337.00

raising multiples in a non-traditional way 6

Military Families: Multiples on the move

44 Is it time? Key signs they’re ready

9

Testing got your kids stressed?

Try these tips for curbing anxiety.

46 Potty Training Book Review

10 Spring Cleaning Breakdown 12 Life Abroad: Raising Expat Twins 14 Spring Crafts to keep the

for potty training

48 Potty Training Infants: The

14

experience of Elimination Communication

52 5 Great Destinations for the whole family

boredom at bay

60 Spring Recipes to enjoy without the

17 The Dr. Is In: Retail Clinics 18 Twin Parties: Inspiration from the Pros!

hassle

62 Book Review for Parents

24 Racism & Kids: Raising them to

64 Is there really something to

26 Tips for a Balanced You

66 Appy Spring

28 Product Buzz

67 Tips for teaching your kids to earn

see past the differences

30 One room or two? Should twins bunk up?

Twin Communication?

their keep at home

70 Flying Solo: Life as a single mom

32 Fashion Finds for Mommy & Me

74 Ask Joan: Fight for her!

40 Potty Training Special Insert

75 Five Minute Fix: Top Knob Style!

30

cover cuties Congrats to this issue’s cover cuties, Greyson and Connor. These boys are 4 year old best friends who cannot stand being away from each other. They love their pet dogs, Nilla and Nachie, as well as every other animal they see. They love going to the park and having dance parties at home. Their favorite toys are trains, cars and army men figurines.

52

photos courtesy of Perfect 10 Photography

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

3

With spring finally here and the warm-up beginning, we all start to think of new life and the growth that our children have made since this time last year (as evident in the too-short shorts, and tops that no longer cover the belly button). Spanning the globe, we are such a diverse group of parents raising multiples. Some are military families that move with their children multiple times over the years. Some are parents who choose to live abroad to expose their children to multi-cultural experiences like no other. Some are single parents, unable to rely on the support of a spouse or significant other, yet still managing to raise their twins with babies on their hips and their heads held high.

While we are all different in our “how”, we are totally unified in our “why” --- to want what is best for our children and to raise them in the best manner we can. We want to raise brave and empathetic children who see past differences like the color of our skin. We want to raise independent children who can care for themselves when mom or dad are no longer around, Natalie Diaz founder/publisher natalie@multiplicitymag.com

or when the world demands that they grow up and become a part of society. We want our children to know that while yes, we are parents who must work to suport our families, they are a priority that we never take for granted.

We make time for their boo-boos, kiss their tears away, and squash their fears of finding friends at their new school. We encourage playdates and shuttle them to the after-school activities of their choice (many of them different and on opposite sides of town!), because as twins, we want them to be independent of each other, and to and explore their interests and strengths on the journey to becoming well-rounded adults. We are parents who want the best and won’t settle for less.

We hope that the articles we’ve combined for you in this issue resonate in one way or another.

Whether your little ones are ready for potty training, for their separate bedrooms, or struggling with testing anxiety, we’ve got you covered. Happy reading and here’s to your children blooming and growing this spring!

Talitha A. McGuinness executive editor talitha@multiplicitymag.com

Publisher Natalie Diaz Executive Editor / Creative Director Talitha A. McGuinness Photographers Firewife Photography Jane Goodrich Photography Contributing Writers Lindsay MacDougall Kinan Copen Cara Krenn Michelle Leichty Dr. Joan Friedman Dr. Preeti Parikh Nellie Harden Sadia Rodriguez Rhonda McMullen Carolyn Christensen Natasha D’Anna Angel Rodrigues Traci Zeller Donna May Lyons Deanna Burkett Mercedes Donis Social Media Manager Jill Marcum Contact us: 141 Mulberry Street Apt. C-1 New York, NY 10013 917-442-2020 info@multiplicitymag.com www.multiplicitymag.com

Multiplicity is published as a digital magazine four times per calendar year, with additional supplements as desired. Multiplicity cannot assume responsibility of statements made by advertisers. In addition, though hand-picked and carefully reviewed, Multiplicity cannot guarantee the accuracy of editorial pieces. No portion in whole or in part of this publication may be reproduced without express written consent from the publisher. Questions? Email editor@multiplicitymag.com.

4

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

Longer days are here, with more time outdoors, more time to play, and more time to plan some fun time away. Here’s to laughter, here’s to ridding the old and bringing in the new, and here’s to green...

happy spring!

from the front lines raising multiples in multiple states through the years

by donna may lyons 6

multiplicity

It goes without saying that most service members can easily quote the official Marine Corps’ motto, “Semper Fidelis” (or Semper Fi). Adopted in 1883, the motto is Latin for “Always Faithful.” On the other hand, it is highly unlikely that many are familiar with the official military spouses’ motto, “Semper Gumby,” or “Always Flexible.”

“Semper Gumby” is one motto I personally lived by during my 22-year marriage to my exhusband, an officer in the Air Force. We moved eleven times in 22 years, relocated cross-country four times, lived in seven states, owned eight houses, endured countless separations and had three children (including twins), along the way. I was raised an Air Force brat and served twenty years in the Air Force on active duty and in the reserves, but having multiples added an additional dimension to life as a military spouse.

When my twins were newborns, I adopted the motto, “Semper Gumby Insomniss,” loose Latin for “Always Flexible Without Sleep.”

Putting all humor aside, the life of a military spouse is not an easy one. They endure the

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

unpredictable work schedule of their spouse, the unwanted and often times short-notice separations, and finally, the uncertainties of war. Military training and deployments will put stress on even the strongest couples and families.

Even in times of peace, having a spouse or parent halfway around the world can increase worry, stress, and uncertainty in everyone affected.

Just being a military family takes people away from extended family and friends, and moves them to different states, countries, and cultures.

Now multiply that separation by twins, triplets, or more!

When military members are away, the spouse is left wearing many hats, juggling many tasks, and holding down the home front. Those tasks are magnified when there are multiple birth children in the mix. I salute those who secure the home front while their husbands (or wives) have been on the front lines. You truly are the “Home Front Soldiers”. frequent moves Frequently changing stations may be one of the toughest aspects of military life, yet military spouses quickly learn how to do so in an efficient and effective manner. They often single-handedly shoulder the responsibility of getting the household goods and the children prepared for moving, and then relocated and settled into their new home, daycare, school, etc. These “Home Front Soldiers” just seem to have a knack for taking things in stride and making the process look like it is a great adventure.

Here are some tips for

preparing yourself and your children for those inevitable moves: • Whenever my family was preparing for a move, I always located and contacted the nearest parents of multiples club in my new hometown, prior to even packing up my old home. Over the years, these clubs were a great outlet for me and my children.

Additionally, some of the people I met over the years are now some of my best and lifelong friends.

• If you make a househunting trip to your new location, bring pictures and videos home to share with your children so they can see what their new home looks like. Let your children pick out their bedrooms and let them describe how they would like to decorate them. This gives the children partial ownership of the move and helps make the transition a little easier.

• When you are packing for the move, allow each child to pack a personal box or tote with their favorite toys, books, DVDs, blankets, stuffed animals, and a favorite photo or two. Label their boxes in a conspicuous way (I always used a different color Rubbermaid tote for each child), so you can quickly locate them when the moving truck arrives at your new home. Better yet, if you have the space, keep those totes with you in your family vehicle as you make the trip. Your children will be happy to have their own comfort items from the start in their new home.

(A helpful hint learned from multiplicity

personal experience: Put your television and DVD cords and remotes in a large plastic bag and bring that with you in your car. Sometimes it seems that movers intentionally “hide” those important things and you’ll go months before you locate them in a box with, say, your linens and towels. I know…crazy!).

• Assure your children that the movers will be taking the rest of your family’s household belongings to the new home.

Young children may not grasp this situation and might worry that they may never see their belongings again.

• Work on setting up the kids’ rooms first so they have a comfortable and relaxing place to hang out during the very stressful time of unpacking and setting up your new home.

By preparing your children in advance, parents can help ease their transition and make each move more bearable. deployments & other separations With the support of immediate family typically out of reach, military spouses often have to rely on their own strength, determination, faith, and just “true grit” to get them through. Additionally, they often turn to their tightknit group of other military spouses for encouragement and support. The same holds true for military parents of multiples.

At the end of the day, when you go home to that empty feeling, how do parents of multiples and their children handle those separations?

Here are a few suggestions for coping during a deployment or other separation:

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

7

home front support books Heroes at Home by Ellie Kay - Provides help to military families and insight to their friends and churches.

• Limit the amount of extracurricular activities your children participate in. This will reduce a lot of stress on you as the lone parent.

• Try to maintain a daily and consistent routine during your spouse’s absences.

Married to the Military: A Survival Guide for Military Wives, Girlfriends, and Women in Uniform by Meredith Leyva - The unofficial scoop on military life.

• Take some stress off of yourself and delegate some household chores to your children (if they are old enough), or, if your budget allows for it, bring in some outside help.

Military Wives 101 by Tynisa Gaines - Offers readers insight on what married life is like in the military.

• Make it a rule to schedule weekly down time for yourself to go out with friends, or have someone watch your children so you can have some quiet time alone in your own home.

Separated By Duty, United In Love (revised): Guide to Long Distance Relationships for Military Couples by Shellie Vandevoorde - A practical, guide to help military couples cope with the separation of active deployment.

Today’s Military Wife: Meeting the Challenges of Service Life, 6th Edition

by Lydia Sloane Cline - Information essential for helping military wives make the most of service life.

When Duty Calls: A Guide to Equip Active Duty, Guard and Reserve Personnel and Their Loved Ones for Military Separations

by Carol Vandesteeg - A manual to help military families prepare for the separations.

Wings of Our Own by P.K. Johnson A collection of stories about military life, full of personal narratives and anecdotes that bring alive the role of the military spouse and highlights their contributions. websites Armed Forces Crossroads Military Spouse Military Wives National Military Family Association (Leading non-profit organization focusing on issues important to military families) Resources for Military Children Affected by Deployment (Compiled by U.S. Army Family and Morale, Welfare, and Recreation Command Child and Youth Services) 8

• Be honest and open with your children about the nature of their parent’s deployment/separation.

multiplicity

• Participate in activities with your children hosted on the military base (through the community center, the childcare center, the arts and craft center, etc.)

• Get involved in a local parents of multiples, mothers of preschoolers, church, or military spouses’ support group.

These groups help parents stay connected by introducing them and their children to new friends and activities. They also provide opportunities for volunteering. Keeping yourself and your children busy during times of separation helps to make the time go faster while your spouse is away.

There are a number of great books available pertaining to military spousal support. The Internet and social media can also provide a wealth of information and support to military spouses and their children. Suggested books and Internet sites are provided in the sidebar.

Military mothers of multiples can receive some of their greatest advice, support, and encouragement from other military mothers of multiples who have been in similar circumstances. They also all have one other thing in common --- they equally share and relate to the motto, “Semper Gumby Insomniss.”

Donna May Lyons is a single mother of 20-year-old fraternal twin daughters and a 17-year-old son. She is pleased to report that after twenty years of parenting multiples plus one, her parenting motto is finally “Semper Gumby Omni Nocte Dormiens” (Always Flexible with a Full Night of Sleep). You can connect with Donna May on facebook and twitter.

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

on curbing testing anxiety by talitha a. mcguinness

In the coming weeks, many of our older primary grade students will begin preparing for and taking state standardized tests. These tests are set to measure student performance from the beginning of the year. While parents usually experience more angst than do the students, it’s always good to help them best prepare by encouraging a few things, namely a good night’s sleep and a healthy breakfast the mornings of the tests. However, if your little ones are feeling the pressure, try these tips to help them relax and do their best!

actually trigger better recall when reading the passage last. You’ll remember seeing the question and will more easily find the answer.

*Take a couple of deep breaths and even stretch if you need before you begin. Relaxing and focusing your attention will help.

*When working on math, be sure to draw using shapes for whatever is being asked to be certain you are calculating the answer correctly.

*Read the directions completely, and then re-read them to fully understand what they are asking. Be sure to note exclusionary words like “all”, “none” and “except”, as overlooking these words can easily misdirect the correct answer.

*If you don’t know an answer, mark it with a star and skip the question, but be sure to also skip that number on the answer sheet (star it also for easy finding when you go back). Be sure to mark lightly, as computers will sometimes pick up stray marks and mark an answer wrong that was otherwise correct.

*Read all answer choices completely before selecting your final answer, even if you know 100% the correct answer. *Circle, underline, star important pieces within the text to help you remember that it was important. No one grades you on how pretty your paper looks when you’re finished! *Read the questions first. This may sound a little backwards, but reading the questions first will multiplicity

*If using bubble sheets, use your test booklet to make sure you’re lining things up properly and answering on the correct line. There’s nothing worse than getting to the end and realizing you missed filling in a bubble somewhere! *Take advantage of the multiple choice answers to test each answer choice to see which makes the most sense in the context.

*Take your time. There is usually enough time to make it through the whole test and even go back to double-check areas where you were unsure.

Chances are likely that your little one knows most everything asked from on the tests...they just need a little help from mom and dad in preparing for unleashing all of that knowledge! the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

9

s

spring cleaning time

say it ain’t so! by carolyn christensen

pring cleaning has a whole new meaning when you become a mom, especially if you’re a working mom of multiples. It seems juggling work, family time and cleaning leaves very little time for the deep spring cleaning.

Hope is not all lost; spring cleaning does not have to be accomplished in one weekend anymore.

First, let’s sit down and make a list, room by room, of the cleaning that needs to be done or chores you would like to complete. I start at my front door and work through the rooms one by one. For my foyer, I list putting away winter wear, pull out sandals, straighten foyer closet, wipe down bench, scrub floor, and clean doors.

Living areas start with scrubbing floors, curtains, steam furniture, put away loose paperwork, and rearrange furniture. The dining room is similar, except I make sure to note chair and table legs which can get missed in every day cleaning. For each bedroom, I list clean floors, linens, curtains, go through clothes, etc. Bathrooms, I list the general cleaning, but add wiping down the walls and going thru the linen closet and cabinets. The kitchen just needs a general cleaning, wiping down cabinets, going through plastic container storage and reorganizing the pantry. For the laundry area, I list cleaning the seals on the washer, dryer lint tube and thorough cleaning of the cat area. Once you finish your possibly two-page list, don’t get overwhelmed, this is all doable!

Now, before you start cleaning, you need to take inventory. Make sure you have trash bags, paper towels and/or rags, and plenty of your normal cleaners. Also you need three empty boxes to start. Label the first box “Storage – To Keep”, “Storage - Undecided”, and “Goes”. As you can imagine, things you come across throughout the spring cleaning will go where it belongs, go in the trash or find a home in one of these boxes. Things

10

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

like your child’s first artwork you might want to keep; the 25 other drawings you are fond of and are not ready to part with may go into “StorageUndecided” along with the strange knick-knacks you received from Christmas that does not go with your house at all. This box will be put away for the next 6 months or so until you have a chance to decide whether it stays or goes. Of course, if you notice something you are done with and it just needs to go, but is not trash, place it in the “Goes” box to be put in the next yard sale or donation run.

Now that you have your lists and inventory, you can start. Instead of tackling the whole list, start at your front door, and each weekday, allot yourself about 30 minutes to complete part of your list.

For example, I can wipe down the storm door and regular door, put away the gloves, hats and boots into the storage area in my foyer closet, and dust the pictures in the foyer all within my thirty minute timeframe. Once your thirty minutes is up, stop for the day; go on to your normal schedule. If you know you’re going have some more time later, you might do a little more, but the object is to not wear yourself out (the kids work hard to do that for you!). The next day, I will finish straightening the foyer closet, dust and steam mop the floor. I will continue marking these smaller tasks off the list each day, then on the weekend, perform the longer tasks like washing and rehanging the curtains. As I clean, if I notice repairs that need to be made, I simply add the task to the list to avoid being distracted from the spring cleaning goal. Once I finish each room, I put a big “X” over it. It feels so good to be done with that room!

The living room and dining room are similar in decluttering, cleaning floors, curtains, etc., but you still need to limit yourself to thirty minutes or so.

The problem most people come across is what I call the “clutter exchange.” For your sanity, don’t do this!!! Do not take your spouse’s magazine from the living room to the dining room just to move it back tomorrow. Try to make permanent homes for things, otherwise they need to go into one of the above described boxes. Spring cleaning is decluttering, not just dusting.

This is also the perfect time to move the couches and chair...oh my and yuck!!! Maybe even consider rearranging the furniture for a fresh new feel. If following along, you’re at three areas down and feeling good! multiplicity

Bedrooms can be a good place to recruit help from kids and spouses, unless you are on a roll and no one will slow you down. Kids can help pull out winter clothes and pile them up, fish all the lost toys from under the bed, and even age depending, have helpful tasks like hanging up spring clothes and helping decide what to get rid of or to donate. Your own bedroom may seem to be the catch-all, but don’t let it go unscathed. Once you dust, declutter and hang all your clothes up (don’t forget to vaccuum under your bed!), you’ll be amazed at how much you love your room again and might even sleep better tonight.

Kitchens and bathrooms normally get cleaned pretty well each week, but you still have a few things that you should take care of. In the bathrooms you can use CLR in a gallon freezer bag tied up to the shower head to get rid of any lime, calcium or grime build up. Just remember to run it for a few minutes before the next shower. Next, clean the tub drains.

The linen closets just need to be straightened and any “seen better days” items added to the rag bin. If your family is like mine, somehow we end up with the strangest items under the bathroom and kitchen sinks, so they need to be checked and organized. Once you finish the kitchen sink cabinet, you can move on to kitchenware --- the matching bowls and lids --oh, how is it possible to have three lids and no bowls? Sigh...those lids go either in the trash or yard sale box, especially Tupperware lids for which someone might have just the bowl. Not used a tray or dish in a while? Discard. Again, all of this is in thirty minutes intervals.

It seems like a lot to accomplish altogether, but at thirty minute intervals and an hour or two on the weekends, Spring Cleaning is done and most likely in under thirty days.

While you’re at it, don’t forget to change your air filters, whole house water filter and smoke alarm batteries, too.

Happy Cleaning! the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

11

Most of us can’t fathom raising our twins without the help of nearby family. Imagine raising them overseas, in a completely different country, where barriers and new experiences abound. Despite language and cultural barriers, statistics show that more than 7.6 million Americans (part of the global expatriate family) now live abroad.

in the life of expatriates: 12

raising a family abroad multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

by mercedes donis

My twin pregnancy was all over the map. Literally.

When we found out I was pregnant, my husband and I were living in Cape Town, South Africa.

My husband had gotten a new job and we were preparing to move to Angola. Shortly after we arrived we were told that, due to the malaria risk, my husband’s new company did not want me to stay in Angola. We had to find a new place to go.

I flew back to the US, where I stayed with my mother for the rest of my pregnancy. My husband continued to work in Angola and came to visit every other month, until the twins were born. When they were just 10 weeks old, we moved to our new home in Scotland.

The expat life is certainly full of adventure, and it is a unique experience that I’m glad we will share with our kids. But for a new mom, it can also be lonely and challenging.

There are both pros and cons to living far away from family. One benefit is that I feel less pressure to parent a certain way. I can feed, discipline, and raise my twins the way that works best for us, without worrying about others and their differing opinions.

The obvious downside of not having family nearby is that we have no one to help out. We were lucky last year and had a consistent trickle of visitors throughout the year. Just when I’d reached the end of my rope, we were due for another visit, another helper. It always came as such a relief. I only feel bad that maybe they didn’t get to enjoy the touristy side of Scotland as much as they would have liked!

One of the ways I feel like living as an expat has positively impacted our lifestyle is through multiplicity

Living in the US, “convenience” is almost a non-issue. Getting out of the US really opens your eyes to how convenient the American lifestyle as a whole really is. Even in a place like Scotland, there are still things that are minor, but aggravatingly inconvenient. Take, for example, garbage disposals. It seems like something trivial, but it definitely makes life easier. Another example is automatic garage doors. I know they exist here, but it’s not the norm. Anytime I want to go out, I have to corral the twins in their holding area, unlock the garage door, get the car out, close and lock the garage door, then go get the twins. As if getting out of the house wasn’t already a hassle!

Lastly, there is the convenience of getting out and around. I already mentioned the process for leaving the house, but what about actually arriving at our destination? In the US, you can count on parking lots nearly everywhere. And yes, maybe they paved paradise to put those lots there, but when you’ve got two infants and have to park on a narrow and busy city street and have to navigate the curbs and crosswalks with a double stroller, well, you start to appreciate those concrete slabs. I really dislike going somewhere I’ve never been, because I don’t know what the parking situation will be like, if the location will be stroller friendly, etc.

When we first got here, I would wait until the weekend when I could go with my husband to stake a place out, then return on my own with the twins during the week.

In the end, being a mother of twins is challenging no matter where you live. Being an expat has its perks and for our family, is the right choice for now. Traveling the world and living the pros and cons of other cultures is something amazing that I’m happy my children will experience! the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

13

photo courtesy of melissa mcfadden photography

Besides everyday relief, finding help in the form of babysitters is also a little tricky. I can count the number of date nights my husband and I have had in the past 18 months on one hand (and they all happened when we had family visiting)!

It’s hard to find recommendations for babysitters when you have just arrived to a new place. Even now that we’ve been here for a while and I’ve made friends, it’s still hard for me to really trust someone with my kids (especially since there are two of them, and especially since they don’t sleep through the night).

the food. The US has such a huge culture of convenience food, and since moving away, we have focused more on whole foods. I’ve never been to a drive-through here, and couldn’t even tell you where one is! That’s not to say there is no unhealthy food here, because that’s not true.

We do have our weekly takeout meal, although we’ve traded our old stand-by of Mexican food for Indian (decent tortillas are nowhere to be found, but there’s a curry joint on every corner!).

springtime crafts for

kids by rhonda mcmullen

With spring time and the many holidays just around the corner, we here in the McMullen household are eager to dive into some fun-filled spring craft activities.

Handprints and footprints, and thumbprints, oh, my!

The possibilities are absolutely endless with edible crafts, outdoor crafts, crafts to remember, recycled crafts, and so much more. A few of our personal favorites for this time of year are ice cream cone or pine cone bird feeders, the life cycle of a butterfly craft, handprint crafts, and recycled crafts. Cool and rainy day? Kids bored and need something to do?

Grab them and find a little inspiration, as there are a thousand and one projects to do and a thousand and one places to find ideas for them.

pine cone BIRD FEEDERS

What you need: Pine cones or ice cream cones, peanut butter, bird seed, plastic knives, string, paper bag or shallow bowl, & bird seed.

14

My boys really enjoyed going on a hunt to find the perfect pine cone for their bird feeder.

Once we found several to choose from, we brought them home and covered them in peanut butter. Once fully covered, we rolled them in a bowl of bird seed (you can also put the bird seed in a paper bag and have kids shake gently until covered).

The final step was to place the string on for hanging. I simply tied the string around the top of the pine cone in a knot, then hung outside of our window and waited for the birds to come.

(NOTE: I use a jar of peanut butter designated for our bird friends to eliminate any cross contamination).

soil and then plant their plant, flower, bulb or seed. Water as per the instructions of your plant/flower. (NOTE: I put holes in the bottom of the boot to allow the water to drain out).

FRAMED ARTWORK

What you need: Children’s original artwork, scanner/printer, mod podge, two sided tape, scissors, & a large picture frame.

RAIN BOOT PLANT HOLDER

What you need: Old rain boot, paint, potting soil, plant/flower, gloves, and trowel.

(Clear coat spray PARENTS ONLY) Take an old rain boot (we used a pair that they had outgrown), and have the kids paint the boot however they’d like. Allow the paint to dry. If you use a matte finish paint like we did, you can add some gloss by coating with Acrylic Crystal Clear Gloss. Once the boot is completely dry, the children can scoop in the potting

Scan your favorite artwork and then print to 1/4 page size or smaller depending on how much artwork you plan to showcase. Cut out the pictures and arrange accordingly. I used two-sided tape to secure in place then mod podge on top.

Instead of tossing out all of your child’s artwork, save it for years to come by making it a piece of your home décor.

beans, tissue paper, glue, & green construction paper.

This one is an educational, hands-on craft that teaches children the life cycle of the butterfly. For this project, you’ll draw two diagonal lines (a big “X”) across the paper plate to make 4 sections. Then label each section in order of the life cycle (Butterfly, Egg, Caterpillar, Chrysalis). For the butterfly, have children pinch the center of a square of tissue paper together and glue onto their plate in the “Butterfly” section, then glue two dry beans on top of the tissue paper (body).

Next, they will cut out a leaf shape from the construction paper and glue to the “Egg” section of the plate. Glue a dry bean onto the leaf. Third, have kids glue 5 dry beans connected to each other to form a caterpillar in the “Caterpillar” section. Finally, have them wrap several beans into a small square of tissue paper and glue the wrapped beans onto the plate in the “Chrysalis” section. They can color or paint the beans and draw some antennas. Voila!

trash the dress LIFECYCLE OF A BUTTERFLY

What you need: Paper plate, markers/paint, dry multiplicity

What you need: Wedding dress, paint, kids with a little imagination.

--- contd. page 17

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

15

© IYB LLC, 2014

Made in Michigan

It’s You Babe

manufactures medical grade maternity supports providing safe, effective relief from aches and pains for active moms-to-be

1-877- 661- 9682 ItsYouBabe.com

info@ItsYouBabe.com

#1 CHOICE OF NURSING PILLOW

FOR LACTATION CONSULTANTS AND MILLIONS OF MOMS

35% OFF USE CODE TM35 AT WWW.MYBRESTFRIEND.COM ALSO AVAILABLE AT:

16

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

contd. from --- crafts

the dr. is in:

5 facts on retail based clinics Many of you may have started to see health clinics inside your local pharmacies and stores starting to open. These clinics are called “retail based clinics”. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has recently released a statement urging parents not to use them for children. Here are five points to know about these clinics: *Many times these clinics are staffed by nurse practitioners (NP) or physician assistants (PA) who are not trained in Pediatrics. *They do not have access to your medical record. *Retail clinics are not regulated. There is no regulatory system that checks for quality as there is for pediatric offices. *The AAP urges use of a “medical home” which is your pediatric healthcare team. They know your child’s medical history and have a trusting relationship with your family. Also, an ear infection may be a minor illness, but if your child has had multiple ear infections within a couple of months or even continues to have fluid remaining in the ear post-infection, this could affect your child’s hearing. Thus, unless you go to your medical home, the discussion on how to help prevent future infections and/or to determine if any hearing impairment is present may not occur. *However, if you find yourself in a bind and need to use a retail based clinic, ask if it has a formal relationship with your pediatrician or any pediatrician. Also, ask if there will be communication between the clinic and your pediatrician. You should also let your pediatrician know you went to the clinic and do a follow-up visit at your child’s medical home.

Source: American Academy of Pediatrics

Dr. Preeti Parikh is a Board-Certified Pediatrician with a special interest in preventive medicine, advocacy and patient education. She contributes to Multiplicity magazine, The Bump, and the book “What to Do When You Are Having Two”. Outside of work, Preeti enjoys free time with her husband and wonderful twin children. multiplicity

This concept of “trashing” the dress has become widely popular around the globe, as most women never plan to use their wedding dress again. If you’re among these women, this is a great way to get the kids creatively involved in sharing in what was a very special moment and day in your life. The process is fun and if you plan to keep it, it makes for great photos, a great anniversary celebration to share with the kids, or a Mother’s Day experience and gift like no other!

Regardless of season, there are a world of possibilities in crafting. Use your imagination, let your children explore, and you’ll have fun creating something unique and magnificent. Need some inspiration? Pinterest is always around to help a girl out!

Rhonda McMullen began her life as a small town girl who was very shy and introverted.

She later joined the Air National Guard and enjoyed several years amongst her Air Force comrades.

Rhonda continued her affiliation with the military as an Army Wife and later moved to Germany to fulfill her military commitment as an Army spouse. She is also inspired to create children’s books by her twin boys Aiden & Kiernan who have inadvertently molded her into who she is today. Current works by Rhonda include Itsy Bitsy Giant Bug; Aiden & Kiernan go to the Zoo; & Miss Maria’s Big Helper. Connect with Rhonda on facebook.

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

17

party like the pros! by the mom squad

18

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

royal twins

Decor & Event Styling: Heather Bydlik Designer Cookies: Dolce Bakery Invitations, Bottle & Food Labels: Foxt Designs 1st Birthday Photo Shoot: Lilipop Photography

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

19

LA DOLCE VITA Event Syling & Stationery: Ham&Pea design&paperie Photography: Lee Bird Photography Cakes, etc. & Gelato Cart: Kiss My Cakes Novelty Cookies: Dessert Menu, Please Cake Stands/Drink Dispenser: Leo & Bella Rustic Cart: Vintage Sew and So Cutlery/Straws/Jute Bags: Occasion by Design Large Chalkboard: Little Big Company Table Cloths/Canopy/Tea Towel Invite: Meeky Muu Chairs and Tables: Avie & Lulu

20

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

Event Styling: Mariah Leeson of Giggles Galore Photography: Elayne Dunn Photography multiplicity

Hansel & Gretel Printable Designs: Anders Ruff Cottage Favor Boxes & Sign: Piggy Bank Parties Chocolate Covered Oreos: Love and Sugar Kisses Hansel & Gretel Cookies: Sugarlilly Cookie Company Peg Dolls: Crossing the Bugger Dixon Line Necklace: Keshet Lavoux Jewlery the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

21

Party Styling: Alexis Campbell Event Styling Photography: Enduring Impressions

Photography Printables: Anders Ruff Favor Bags/Paper Straws: The Tomkat Studio Fondant Toppers: Two Sugar Babies Cake Bunting: The Purple Pug Gumballs: PartyCreationsBella Sugar Cookies: Sugar On Top Cake Pops: Kimmy’s Cake Pops Cupcakes: dd’s Cupcake Shoppe

22

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

flying over paris Event Coordination & Stying: Pretty Little Events Photography: Shoots and Giggles Cake & Dessert Bar: Sweet and Saucy Shop

multiplicity

Rentals: Found Vintage Rentals Linens: La Tavola Linens Balloon Artist: Super Inflated Caricaturist: Deb Allen The Cartoon Lady Backdrop: Brenda Himmel Stationery Patissiere Sign: Sooki Design

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

23

racism & diversity

raising kids to see past differences by kinan copen

“Did you hear that? He called her Black. He was yelling at her, ’Black! Black! Black!’ He called her Black.”

That’s what a nanny at the park the other day said about my son, indicating he had already become a racist in his two short years on this earth. In reality, he was fighting with his friend over a doll stroller and was actually yelling, “Back. Back. Back.” The friend in question, a one year old girl who is yes, bi-racial, was trying to take it by force and in that typical toddler way, World War III began. Knowing the context of two toddlers fighting over one toy very well from my experience as a twin mom, I felt this nanny could not possibly have been more ridiculous. If there is one common refrain in my house, it’s, “Back!

Back! Back!” but the situation got me thinking long and hard about raising savvy kids in a world where not everyone might be so open-minded.

My boys do like to point out different colors, and this includes skin. But “Black” skin doesn’t match the crayon in the box and I’d never heard them use it as a term to describe someone. Then again, they had recently pointed to my hand and 24

multiplicity

said “white,” but it’s not so pale that it matches the crayon in the box either. They point to their little hands and toes often and say “brown,” which they are thanks to their swarthy Jewish father and my Middle Eastern roots. Never have they used colors for name calling, however. In fact, I realized that name-calling had not yet made an appearance in their repertoire at all.

The thing about having multiples is that you’re in a pretty good science experiment every step of the way. You see them hit those social milestones head on; share when they are ready to share, hug when they are ready to hug. But no, despite physical fights that make my eyes bleed, they had never once called each other a name in anger.

I figured it doesn’t take a professional in child psychology to know that a child as young as two probably doesn’t have the cognitive development for name calling, let alone for slinging racial slurs, but I had to know for sure. I consulted a child psychologist friend and she confirmed that it was highly unlikely a child my son’s age would be “sophisticated” enough to put together the

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

idea of using race or skin color as insults.

Besides, PC-terminology aside, what’s wrong with being “Black?” Why should that be an insult? That nanny verbally linked skin color to something negative because of her personal baggage. If my son had called this girl “Black,” I’d like to think it wouldn’t have been in the manner she implied, like it was a name to be called, but rather as an observation. A description with no value judgments attached.

I’m planning on raising kids who embrace difference, not deny its existence. Instead of pretending we’re all the same and that love sees no color, I posit that maybe instead, love sees all colors, shapes, sizes and abilities, and accepts them fully. Love has open, nonexclusionary arms.

How you look outside is part of who you are, not all of it. Parent Educator and Consultant Dana Entin, PNP uses the phrase “Everybody’s body is different” to help her clients navigate raising self aware, self confident kids. Dana says, “Inside the home, it’s all about accepting differences of opinions and abilities of siblings, and outside in the world, it’s about tolerance, which is necessary for diversity to succeed.”

I find the former to especially hit home for me as a mom of identical twins, who were so quickly and conveniently lumped into one practically from the moment of conception. It’s hard, even with the best of intentions, not to compare on some level. Who ate more, who slept more, who

Instead of pretending we’re all the same and that love sees no color, I posit that maybe instead, love sees all colors, shapes, sizes and abilities, and accepts them fully. can do the puzzle without screaming in frustration. As parents of multiples, we have to work extra hard to help our kids embrace their individuality as we work to also teach them to embrace the diversity of others.

“Everybody’s body is different” is now a mantra in our house because it so perfectly sums up the idea of acceptance on both micro and macro levels.

I want my sons to feel confident in their own unique ethnicity. I’m half Palestinian and grew up keeping it a secret out of fear. My parents didn’t want me subject to other people’s uneducated reactions when I was too young to know how to stand up for myself. In those instances, instead of speaking up, I stood by, silent. I stood by on 9/11, while watching the news coverage at work. multiplicity

Coworkers, people I considered friends, went from ranting against a general, unnamed evil to making it a specified hate towards Palestinians, like our involvement was a given.

“The Palestinians must be behind this! They’re all terrorists, you know.”

In that moment, I felt ashamed of my heritage. Clearly this was why I was told to keep it a secret my whole life! But then I realized what I really felt was shame for being ashamed. My coworkers were the ones in the wrong, not me. Since then, I’ve had plenty of practice standing up for myself. I’m proud of who I am and I’m proud of my children, who as part Arab and part Jew, are pretty much a walking peace treaty.

My intention as a parent is to release into the world, two humans who not only celebrate in who they are and who others are, but who also feel driven to speak out and speak up. I didn’t say anything to that nanny at the park, but I hope as they get older, if my children are in a situation where a child really does pick on another child for his color, or his size or how he looks, maybe I will have taught them to stand up for what’s right.

Kinan Copen is a screenwriter and journalist living in Venice Beach, CA who writes for screens large and small, and has freelanced for ESPN: The Magazine and various online publications. She’s the mom of identical twin boys as well as a ferocious terrier-dachshund.

Connect with her on twitter.

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

25

class on that hobby you enjoy or indulge in a bubble bath and a good book. Nurturing the soul is as vital to motherhood as caring for your new babies. Ask Grandma or a good friend to babysit so you find moments to truly relax.

2. takes a conscious effort

Eat Healthy – Eating right

finding balance in 2014

by jen joas

m

oms have so much to juggle. Whether they’re running to the grocery store to replenish the peanut butter, dropping off youngsters at day-care, fitting in a Pilates class, or whipping up a tasty dinner for the family, finding balance amidst the chaos can be a challenge. With spring comes the chance for change and a chance to take control of her schedule, set limits, and compromise to create a more stress-free (and fun!) lifestyle. UrbanHalo founder Jen Joas offers helpful tips to take control of 2014 and maintain a healthy body and soul.

As a mom, Jen Joas knows exactly how it feels to be up to your head in tasks. Below are words of advice that can help moms strengthen marital bonds, center themselves, and reclaim a sense of normalcy as they adjust to new priorities in the year: Schedule “Me” time – Whether you’re a Mom for the first time or have multiple kids already, you know adding two new people to your routine changes everything. The babies’ schedules take over the hum of the household. Making time for you can be challenging, but it can be done! And if you’re a Mom of school-aged kids, you know how much time is spent driving kids to activities and appointments. Make time each week for some down time where you can recharge and revitalize yourself. Take a

1.

26

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

and time to plan. As a mother, a clean diet and proper nutrition are recipes for success! If you are breastfeeding, you need to fuel your body with healthy foods to keep your stamina and health at optimum levels. If you have a picky toddler, you can model good eating habits by packaging bags of raw fruits and vegetables as “fast food” that you can grab and go with your busy schedule.

Key to know is that the less you handle foods in the cooking process the more vitamin-rich they are. Grill and broil meats when possible and keep lots of greens and nuts on hand for a quick pick-me-up. Remember, carbohydrates will make you feel lethargic so keep those to a minimum. And of course, drink plenty of water!

Night – New Dads 3. Date may feel a tinge of jealousy

over all of the time you spend caring for your new bundle of joy. As your family expands, make reigniting the romance in your marriage a top priority. Even if you can’t rendezvous with your partner as often as you used to, it is important to schedule time for the two of you to bond. Making Dad feel important and needed in your life will help him adjust to your new family dynamic, and bonus, will increase his attraction for you. to Say “No” – It is so 4. Learn much simpler to say “yes”

to every opportunity that comes calling, however, learning to say “no” is an essential skill you will want to acquire. Besides your daily routine of taking care of the kids and the household, your days will also be filled with dentist appointments, play dates, extra-curricular activities, volunteering at the school, and possibly even going back to work either in or out of the home. There are all kinds of worthy causes to say “yes” to, but it is prudent to be selective about activities to which you choose to commit.

Friends and family will understand if you have to occasionally say “no” to keep your sanity in check.

5.

Exercise – When you’re sleepdeprived, the last thing you want to attempt is a good workout. However, exercise is an excellent way to release endorphins and increase your energy.

Taking the kids for a walk around the block, bike-riding, or wrestling with them on the floor, can be an outstanding way for you and the kids to get your blood pumping, boost your heart rate, and spend quality time together. Include other moms in your neighborhood and get some socializing in at the same time. Having kids can make it tough to squeeze in a full workout, but even 10-15 minutes of activity three times a week can benefit your physical and emotional well-being. Not only will you be burning off stress and increasing your energy level, but you’ll be maintaining your fitness at the same time!

So ladies, put on your stylish Halo and get a kick-start on a healthy lifestyle this spring!

Health & Wellness Expert, Jen Joas is also the founder of UrbanHalo, fun and flirty headbands that are as practical as they are stylish for women who are on-the-go, yet like to stay on trend. Boasting no slip, no sweat and no headache attributes, Halos easily go from preschool pick up to spin class. Jen contributes her expertise on health, wellness and balance, and helps women find balance in their lives. For more information, please visit UrbanHalo and connect with them on facebook. multiplicity

how do you f i nd balance?

“Balance is provided to me by a great husband and partner in this journey of raising multiples, along with a strong vodka tonic and sitting by the pool.” ~ Sherilyn C. “Even when the twins were little, I found a moment to read, write or draw every day.” ~ Cathy S. “A night out with girlfriends is invaluable!” ~Tracey K. “I don’t care what time of the year it is...if I’ve had a hard day, I start a fire and nestle under my down comforter to watch a favorite movie or recorded show.” ~ Cindy B. “With Triplets and one on the way...the GYM is my outlet! Spin, Zumba, or just a quick cardio session boosts my energy for the day!” ~ Christine W.

“Hold on to a piece of your ‘before you had kids life’ that makes you feel good. This is a little bit different for everyone.

For me it’s horseback riding. There is nothing quite like being out in a field, no kids, no phone....just you, your steed and an incredible sport that is both physically and mentally challenging.” ~ Alison S.

super

MOM

sponsored by

Recognize a Super MOM today!

We are partnering with MAM to recognize 12 of the most outstanding moms of multiples around the the world.

To nominate a Mom by telling us why she should be one of our Super MoMs. The chosen Super MoM of the month will receive a $50 SpaFinder Gift Card. Even Super Woman needs a day off every now and then!

Thanks to MAM for partnering with us and congrats to our recent winners!

daniel le

candi

donna

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

27

the buzz

twin tested...

MOM approved!

the scoop on things worth giving

a try

baby brezza formula pro

If you’re planning to formula feed your babies, I highly recommend trying out the Formula Pro by Baby Brezza. It’s literally like a Keurig for your baby bottles. You have a holding tank that warms the water to near body temperature, and a separate, sealed tank for the powder formula. It mixes in seconds with no air bubbles, which means fewer gassy and fussy babies! When the babies wake in the night to eat, it’s literally as easy as selecting the ounces (ranges from 2-10 in 2 ounce increments), replacing the nipple and then giving the bottle a little shake to mix. I found this to be especially helpful when one of my older children would interrupt me while making a bottle and I couldn’t remember how many scoops of powder I had already put in the bottle. I worried I would give my little one either too little or too much... neither of which would end well! I will also caution you that you have to clean the formula tank about once each week or the spinner will stop spinning and distributing formula. ~ talitha

petunia pickle bottom diaper bags

Having twins means carrying around two of everything. Of course I took this to heart and at first, bought the largest diaper bag on the planet. I had heard about PPB, and finally decided to look into them. One click into the website and I was in love. Every pattern was cuter than the last. I had toyed around with the idea of just getting a backpack as a diaper bag and the Sashay Satchel had backpack straps included with the option to hide them if you didn’t want to use them! It more than adequately held my two pairs of everything and all of the odds and ends I will probably never use, but have just in case, (yes...I am that mom). It also came with an easy-to-wash changing pad and a lovely solid black wipe case to match. I can’t rave enough about how much I love this bag. I have had it for about two years and it’s held up remarkably well. If you are undecided about purchasing a diaper bag, I highly recommend you give PPB a try. I am thinking of getting the wistful weekender to match for long trips away once my budget allows...I love it THAT much! ~deanna

the good home company vacuum beads

What’s that beautiful smell coming from my vacuum you ask? The Good Home Company has brought a beautiful fragrance in my home without me having to do much work. From their fantastic glass cleaner to their dryer sheets, all the products of The Good Home Company not only clean like a dream, but also come in amazing fragrances like Green Grass and Lavender. Their Vacuum beads are just that --- little pearls that you drop into your vacuum canister that get knocked around releasing the gentle smell of Lavender. Despite the fact that I vacuumed a few days ago, there is a still a slight hint of the fragrance in the air. Never overwhelming, just a gentle reminder of what it would be like in a lavender field 28

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

in spring time. All of their products are “naturally clean” and contain no sulfates, parabens or phthalates.

Made in the USA, they are also biodegradable and cruelty free. Not only do the products of The Good Home Company do a wonderful job at cleaning, but they make me feel good using them, too! ~ natalie

dyson digital slim

The Dyson Digital Slim is bagless, cordless and very lightweight, making it so easy and convenient to use. The first time I turned it on, I could not believe the power it had! It got stuff out of my plush and regular carpets that my old, full size vacuum had left behind. I use it daily on my tiled kitchen floors, cleaning up after my 4 year old twins’ messes. I love how I can go from my tile floor to the carpet and wood floors so smoothly. It’s also easy to turn corners and get into tight spaces, not to mention the ease of cleaning the stairs. With the click of a button, I can remove the vacuum head to use the wand to reach over my head to clean ceiling vents and cob webs. I am also able to clean my whole house without running the battery out. I would definitely recommend it to anyone! ~ jill

disney princess pop up magic castle game from hasbro

If you have little Princesses in the house, they will love this new simple board game from our friends at Hasbro. The goal is to get your princess (four to choose from Snow White, Cinderella, Ariel and Aurora) to the castle as quick as possible.

Using a spinner and turn taking, you’ll advance around the game board, hopping on stones and picking up “friend tokens” along the way. Watch out for villains, they will send you back three spaces! There is a modification of the game play that allows you to add a memory component, as well. We assure you that your kids will love the game as well as the pop up feature of the board itself.

When your kids get tired of taking turns, they will love to play pretend using the game piece princesses and the pop up castle home. This is a MUST HAVE for any Disney Princess fan. ~ natalie

solvetta flat box-lunch box

Did you know that studies have shown there are more germs crawling in the cafeteria than any other room in the school building? For those who pack lunches, look into Solvetta’s new insulated lunch box. It unzips from each corner to create a placemat for your child’s food (keeping it from touching the table that might also be crawling with aforementioned germs!). It’s also easy to clean --- just wipe it down each day or occasionally toss it in the wash to provide for a clean surface every time! My kids also love that it comes in cool color combos like pink/lime green and red/blue, among others. If you’re a lunch packer and want a cleaner option, Solvetta has the problem solved! ~ talitha multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

29

together or separate? the elephant

in the twin bedroom by deanna burkett 30

multiplicity

There is always one constant in the process of raising boy/girl twins. Should we separate them? Whether it is in school, in sports, or at home in the bedroom, the question of separating your boy/girl twins always seems like the hardest answer to come to. For my own personal experience, I have yet to really answer it myself. My twins were born two months early and had a rocky start. The NICU policy was very strict about not putting them together, so they were separated the entire time they were there. Almost two months of being apart from each other, I worried incessantly that they would be missing each other. When we finally got to bring them home and put them together, it was an awe-inspiring moment for me. My son had issues with bradiacardia and I swear he got better by leaps and bounds the moment we put him with his sister.

They share a room now and I really can’t imagine it any other way. But I have to ask…when is it time? Should I make the decision as the parent, or should I let them?

What if I make the decision for them and it’s the wrong one and it disrupts their schedule (something highly valued in the twin world)? What if they make the decision and then after we’ve done all this changing, they don’t like it? Is it inappropriate at a certain age?

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

as it would be easier to keep an eye on them in the same area. I am lucky enough to take each moment as it comes, but those less fortunate than me have to be much more planned out with things. If you have to go at it on your own or with very little support, you might want to start thinking NOW what you want to do so that you have a good game plan when the time comes.

I have done copious amounts of research on the subject. Are there legal issues in my state? Florida isn’t specific, just suggestive that at the age of 5, different sex children should not share a room. But what about with twins? Do the same rules apply?

I would think as teenagers they would want their own space for obvious reasons, and I am pretty sure by that time they are going to want a place to escape from the other. After much internal debate and research, I was still unsure about which direction I should take. So I sat down and asked myself these questions:

What do other moms of multiples say?

I must have asked a hundred different mothers the question about whether or not and when I should separate the twins. There were MANY varying degrees of answers, but they were all universal in respect to my question. All twins are different. There are no two alike. You have to really take a hard long look at your twins and figure out what is best for them and you, as well.

If you decided to keep them in the same room for a while, there are a few pointers I have figured in all my research. You can do it in one of two ways:

Do my twins’ personalities suggest they would be better apart?

Liah is a VERY active child, whereas Liam is laid back. Would it be better for him to have the quiet space away from his sometimes overactive sister?

However, I recall walking in their room in the mornings and seeing Liam trying to wake HER up. I think he might miss her energy.

Gender Neutral: Paint the room a neutral color and accent with boy/girl colors so that when it’s time to put them in their own room, all you have to do is move the colored accessories.

Do they cling to each other?

My Liam follows his sister pretty much anywhere she goes. She is definitely the dominant twin and he is more than happy to let her take the lead. So keeping that in mind, if I went through the trouble of putting them in separate rooms, would it all be for naught? Would he just end up in his sister’s room anyway? I have to answer “yes” right now.

Down the Center: My best advice for this one is to divide the room with a divider of sorts. My best option is a large book shelf (BOLTED DOWN) that separates the room. They are still together, but yet have their own space and privacy when needed, too.

How old are your twins?

My twins are two years old right now so it’s not a pressing issue. They are still in their cribs and they spend more time in the great room than in their bedroom. I think maybe once they are out of their cribs, we may have to reassess. As it stands, they are content and on a perfect sleeping schedule. When they are older, they may wake up differently (Liam is always up first) and this may pose a problem for Liah as she LOVES her sleep. Perhaps then it will be time to think about a different sleeping situation.

Do you have a good support system at home?

I am blessed to have a wonderful family that is fully supportive in all that I do with my twins. But, not all mamas are that lucky. If you are a single mother, for instance, it would probably be easier on you to keep them in the same room for as long as you can, multiplicity

“

“remember this...nothing is ever so permanent you can’t change it

Whatever you decide remember this…nothing is ever so permanent you can’t change it. The important thing to understand is that if you just pay attention to your twins, their actions will show you which is the best choice for your family.

Deanna Burkett is multi-tasking mama of two year old boy/girl twins and teens and a wife of 19 years to a very patient husband. On any given day, you can find her pinning her heart away at Twiniversity’s Pinterest page, working on school work while she earns her double degree of History and English at Ashford University, catering to her teenagers’ every beck and call, or chasing one or two naked babies around the house!

Look for her on facebook, twitter or pinning away on pinterest!

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

31

32

FASHION finds multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

33

multiplicity

sponsored by...

by talithafor a. all mcguinness the must-have magazine moms of multiples

all fashion photography courtesy of firewife photography

for mommy & me

on mom: navy/red game day dress on twins: madras crab 3-piece set crab dress 34

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

35

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

on mom: blakely strapless dress in neutral on twins: seagull short set 36

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

37

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

on mom: bliss strapless dress in cerulean on twins: safari lion pant set safari monkey dress 38

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

One of a kind sitters.

For two of a kind kids.

Save

25%

with promo code

MULTIPLICITY25 expires 6/30/15

Care.com and “There for you” are service marks or registered service marks of Care.com, Inc. ©2014 Care.com, Inc. All rights reserved.

Visit: www.care.com

multiplicity

Babysitters

Nannies Backup Care

Tutors

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

39

special insert

Potty Training

101:

everything you need to know to get the job done!

Potty training isn’t always the easiest of the parenting rites of passage, even with just one child. With twins? You just might want a few tips in your toolbelt to help you navigate the sometimes testy waters (pun intended!). In this special section, we give you the best of the best --- books, products and even some “been there, done that” experience from seasoned twin moms.

twisting travel potty chair by graco This is a perfect seat for vacation and travel when your toddlers “just have to go”. It twists up for them to sit and use, and then back down for easy packing and storage. Eco-friendly alternative, with no liners. Retail: $13.95

flip toilet seat by kohler toilet trainer by bumbo

Comfy and cushy, this toilet seat gives kids comfort and confidence when using the adult toilet. Its unique shape fits perfectly without attachments and extra pieces. Best part? It’s easy to clean! Retail: $26.00

potette plus by kalencom

cushie folding potty seat by mommy’s helper

This padded, folding seat is perfect for when you’re on the go and want to have the comforts of the potty at home. Fits perfectly in the diaper bag!

Retail: $11.95 40

multiplicity

This full size travel potty folds flat into a contoured trainer seat for your child’s comfort. Hygienic seat can be used on all toilet seats.

Legs lock into place when opened; folds flat so it can fit in a purse or diaper bag.

Comes with three super absorbent, leak-proof, and easy to use disposable liners and a drawstring carrying bag. Retail: $16.00

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

This 2-in-1 toilet seat is the perfect transition for potty training. It has a unique child lid and an elongated adult toilet seat. Best part? The Quiet-Close feature! Retail: $59.95

special insert

potty seats contoured cushie step up by mommy’s helper

Kids need a little boost getting on the potty? Check out this padded potty seat with a built in, fold-up, step stool. The stool also has nonslip floor pads to keep your little ones safe from slipping while climbing up! Compact for storage when not in use.

Retail: $26.00

keep me clean potty protectors by summer infant

Grossed out thinking about your twinnies touching public toilets (and everything crawling on or around them)? Worry no more!

These disposable seat covers drape the areas kids touch the most. With adhesive strips, they stay in place, keeping the ickies at bay!

Retail: $8.99

my carry potty

soft transitions 3-in-1 potty seat by graco

How about a little fun?

Put the training in their hands...literally, with a potty they can flip open to use, close when done, and carry anywhere they go!

These potties can also be customized and come with a book to make the journey more magical. Complete with stickers and reward charts.

Retail: $29.95

This is the ultimate score --- a potty chair when they’re little that becomes a seat on the adult toilet when they’re ready.

The base flips over to be used as a step stool. The built-in splashguard also helps keep the little boy mess to a minimum.

Retail: $34.99

potty bench by boon

What mom doesn’t like a little order in the house?

With side drawers for organizing supplies (i.e. toilet paper and wipes), and a deflector for little boys, this bench keeps everything together AND helps the mess stay put. Retail: $49.99 multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

41

special insert

training pants training pants by charlie banana

Build your child’s confidence during those hard weeks of potty training by avoiding any embarrassing accidents. Charlie Banana® Training pants have a waterproof, outer layer and a soft organic cotton interior lining, which is gentle against your baby’s skin. They make ideal training pants when potty training a child because of the trim fit, easy removal and they have some micro terry inside for absorption. Charlie Banana® training pants fit like a pair of underwear and do not look like a diaper.

Please note, that Charlie Banana® Training Pants are not cloth diapers and they are not designed to be used for long periods of time. They are available in standard sizes (Small to X-Large), and assorted colors. Retail: $11.88-$12.88

the smarter potty training pants by one step ahead

With only two options on the market, One Step Ahead’s mission was to create a smarter design—soft training pants that still keep clothing dry! These training pants combine a moisture-wicking lining that draws urine in with a supple, waterproof barrier that keeps it in. Topped with a soft, underwear shell in fun prints, so kids will want to wear them!

Machine washable. Sizes 2T-6. Retail: $12.95

taffeta waterproof training pants by kushies

Kushies’ lightweight taffeta training pants promote training as they allow the child to feel the sensation of wetness. Featuring a 100% cotton flannel interior, an added soaker for extra absorbency, and a waterproof cover for protection against leaks while little ones try to get to the potty! Available in a variety of bold colors and fun prints that your child will love! Retail: $11.49

waterproof wet bag by kushies

Need somewhere to put pants after an accident? Kushies on-the-go waterproof wet bags are perfect for storing soiled diapers, dirty clothes or anything you want to keep separate while away from home. You can also use them to store a spare set of clothes, extra diapers or even a favorite toy. Retail: $13.99 42

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

special insert

potty toys once upon a potty training doll by one step ahead

These anatomically correct boy and girl dolls go along with the Once Upon a Potty books, reinforcing the fun journey of potty training. Each doll has its own miniature potty and wears a removable diaper. Retail: $19.95

let’s potty! board game by let’s potty

Kids love to play games, so why not start the conversation there? Follow the toilet tissue trail throughout the house to find the potty. The journey will introduce the language, the etiquette, and the pride of making it to the potty “in time.” Retail: $24.99

tinkle targets by mom invented

Little boys have a strong urge to aim and wet things. Take advantage of this desire during the potty training stage with tinkle targets. Place them in the toilet, congratulate your little boy on his aim, and flush! Pack of 15. Retail: $3.32

drink and wet annie doll by melissa & doug

Most all little girls love to play with dolls, and this little gal is a great way to show the cause and effect of eating and drinking. Place her on the potty when feeding the bottle and she will “wet” her potty. Comes complete with her own removable diaper. Retail: $24.99

i love potty training app by joy berry enterprises

Lessen the angst of potty training with this interactive ebook and game, complete with a digital potty tracker (everyone will love to hear the “Great Job” and applause when successfully using the potty!). App comes in English and Spanish. Retail: $FREE multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

43

special insert

is it time?

learn the cues to help your little ones use the potty successfully!

by natasha d’anna 44

multiplicity

Do you know that Potty training revolves around a timetable?

Age is not the major factor to distinguish the right time for potty training, as many believe. Majority of parents try to follow a rubric of milestones as to when a child’s next developmental stage will begin. However, the truth is that a child can be successful at potty training at any age. It all depends on the individual child’s behavioral signs of readiness.

Until the mid 1900’s, the majority of babies finished toilet training by 2 years and achieved nighttime dryness by 3 years.

Modern parents begin to think about potty training as their child approaches 18-24 months when they begin to verbally reciprocate receptive language and behaviors. Studies show that there are cases where parents have begun potty training as early as 11 months. In order to know if you and your child are ready for the task of potty training, you need to be able to recognize a few key signs.

The first sign is to take notice of your child’s visits to the bathroom alongside of you during your time. The signs of interest include questioning what you’re doing or mimicking through role play. This opens the door for a perfect opportunity to communicate the use of the potty or toilet through modeling and conversation. This is the initial stage

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

special insert where you can create a fun potty word or begin describing rewards and changes in diaper wear as you are modeling.

and no diaper at all. Staying close and being consistent helps train them to use the potty often for better success.

A second sign to look for is the action of removing their diaper.

If a child has drawn attention to their diaper when wet, they may begin to remove a diaper as a sign of being uncomfortable.

This is the perfect opportunity to introduce underwear or training pants to your child.

For the parents that are not equipped to remain in the home for 3 days, a timing method can be used while out. The timing method entails frequent visits to local bathrooms to get the child familiar with any potty and the action of going to the bathroom. This is recommended for parents on the go or for the children who are preparing to attend a daycare, nursery or preschool environment. The timing method begins from the moment the child awakes up until bedtime. The frequent bathroom visits should be during a time interval of every 30 minutes to an hour, with monitored food and drink intake.

The third sign that your child is ready for potty training is clear communication; your child or children begin to verbalize that they are wet, or that they need to potty before wet. Once this sign is expressed, immediate intervention is recommended with a visit to the potty.

Whether or not a successful use was completed, the action of using the potty should take place along with full praise or reward. Rewards are highly recommended, but can be anything on which you and your spouse or partner agree.

I actually used the reward of exchanging the visit to the store for diapers with a visit to buy Playdoh and other fun activities.

After establishing a clear sign of interest, you as the trainer must be ready to jump on board, as well. Your potty training method of choice should be in order. When choosing a method, it is best to choose one that is right for you and your lifestyle/schedule. While there are many options from which to choose, one popular method used is the 3-day training. This method requires for the trainer and child/children to remain in the home for 3 days, with frequent visits to the bathroom

Throughout the potty training process, pull-ups can be used with any method you choose.

However, it has been recently reported that pull-ups may not be the best resource for potty training, due to the many similarities to diapers.

This same process of pulling up and down can be done by using children’s special training underpants or regular undergarments. Remember, no one has ever sent their child off to college in pullups or diapers, so it is at your discretion whether or not to use them.

Also, there have been many products used to assist in training, but nothing more common than the good old potty. Multiple potties are multiplicity

great when you have multiples, and while it requires more cleaning, it just goes with the territory. Having a potty can make the model training method easier. It is best to keep the potty where the child will eventually be using the toilet, which is in the bathroom (this is simply obvious good hygiene practice, too!). For families with compromised space, multiple potties may not work for you. This is when the First Year’s Toilet Attachment, sold at many baby gear retailers, works wonderfully. A fun portable potty seat, this product will remove the child’s fear of falling into the bowl.

With the potty training process and developing a comfortable method good for all, it is great to remember that this is a trial and error process. There isn’t a perfect process, but there is a perfect time. Overall, it is best that consistency and communication is seamless from day to night.

Nighttime dryness may occur simultaneously with training, but nighttime accidents are normal and likely to occur even after daytime potty training is successful.

Natasha is a mom of twin girls, an educator, a selfpublished writer of a children’s book titled Twindollicious, and a blogger. Natasha worked in education for almost ten years before fulfilling her dreams of having children of her own. It was then, that she felt she could truly make a difference in a person’s life, and in this case, two Twindollicious girls with great personalities..

Follow her on facebook and twitter.

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

45

special insert

book review by michelle leichty

Potty training is a time fraught with emotion --- for both the children and the parents.

Reading picture books on the topic can help open a dialog between you and your children, as well as help them identify issues they’re having with saying “good-bye” to diapers.

Here are some top picks: Once Upon a Potty by Alona Frankel comes in both a boy and a girl version.

In the story, the character’s mother tells the readers the process of potty training. Joshua (or Prudence) opens a box with a strange object in it, and tries to figure out what it is. Simple illustrations and a simple story line make these books classics.

For those children who have more questions than one person can answer, What to Expect When You Use the Potty

by Heidi Murkoff is an excellent resource. Murkoff answers all sorts of questions children may ask when potty training, like: where do pee-pee and poop come from?; why do I have to wash my hands?; and where do 46

multiplicity

pee-pee and poop go when you flush? Angus the Answer Dog answers these, and plenty of other questions, too.

All children need reminders on proper toilet etiquette, which is where Potty Animals: What to Know When You’ve Gotta Go! by Hope Vestergaard comes in handy. This rollicking, rhyming and rhythmic book is fun to read, and gives great instruction on using the bathroom (a reminder to wash hands, close the door, and knock first, among others). It also includes a helpful list of reminders at the end.

I’m not sure if Wendy Cheyette Lewison wrote The Princess and the Potty for children, or their parents. The princess refuses to use her potty, which upsets the king and queen. They try all sorts of tricks to entice the princess to use a potty, none of which work. Then one day, the princess decides she wants pretty pantaloons like her mamma, the queen.

And to keep those pantaloons pretty, she suddenly runs and uses the potty. This story reminds parents that children will eventually learn to use the toilet --- when they are ready.

Suzy Sue enjoys using her potty, until it disappears. In Have You Seen My Potty? by Mij Kelly, Suzy Sue runs all over the farmyard, looking for her potty. She asks all the animals where her potty

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

is, but they are confused by the word “potty.” Meanwhile, they’re enthralled with the new poo-pot they found. This rhyming book is funny, as well as fun to read.

Children who love dinosaurs will love Dinosaur vs. the Potty

by Bob Shea. Dinosaur wins fights with all sorts of different activities like making lemonade, playing in the sprinkler, and eating a three juice box lunch, and he never has to use the potty. Or does he? Large, colorful illustrations and simple wording will capture children’s attention.

What about older children dealing with younger siblings who are potty training?

Little Critter to the rescue!

In The New Potty by Gina and Mercer Mayer, Little Critter’s little sister is learning to use the potty, and quite frankly, he’s a little grossed out by it. But he’s a good sport, and helps his mom teach his sister to use the potty, even taking her when his mom is busy. The New Potty is a great way to prepare older children for what to expect when younger siblings start potty training.

Michelle Leichty has read hundreds of books to her four children in the course of their homeschooling journey. So many people asked her to recommend books that she started blogging about her favorite children’s books at CultivatingReaders.com. You can find out about her writing business at MLContent.com.

special insert

potty books big girl panties by fran manushkin

What better way to introduce wearing panties than to glorify becoming a big girl? As every little girl wants to be like mommy, the illustrations and rhyming text will have little girls saying “bye-bye� to their diapers in a jiffy! Retail: $6.19

pirate potty by samantha berger

Every little boy adores pirates and will be eager to toilet train when they learn that even pirates use the potty! With a step-by-step story teaching them how to use the potty, plus a captain’s hat and stickers for when they go, little boys everywhere will soon delight in being the best pirate on the potty they can be!

Retail: $5.39

on becoming potty wise for toddlers by gary ezzo & robert bucknam

Potty training can seem complicated and easily overwhelming.

This basic resource focuses on readiness cues in your children, which is the most important prerequisite for successful training.

Its education and information also works for both boys and girls.

Retail: $8.96

constipation, withholding & your child by anthony cohn

Constipation, withholding and even accidents are completely normal when potty training (even well after you feel the training was initially successful). This guide focuses on outside factors that often cause relapse in children (i.e. a new baby, problems at school, etc.), and offers practical strategies for helping get back on track. Retail: $14.95

ready, set, potty! by brenda batts

Children with special needs may require a little extra help when beginning the sometimes daunting task of toilet training. This book offers tried and true methods for helping your children gain independence through adaptation and perseverance, even when other attempts have failed. Retail: $13.13 multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

47

special insert

t

he first time I heard about “elimination communication” (EC), or infant potty training, was when I read Mayim Bialik’s book, “Beyond the Sling.” It was my first foray into the world of attachment parenting. I was near the end of my first trimester and I didn’t yet know that I was carrying twins. At first, I thought it was a little ridiculous and over the top. But I was still curious about it, and the more I read, the more I was intrigued.

Discovering that I would have two newborns to contend with instead of just one put a damper on my plans to try out EC --- until it didn’t. I believed in the philosophy and was determined to try it out, at least. From about 3 months to about 6 months of age, I practiced Elimination Communication with my twins, and while it didn’t work long-term for our family, I came away with some valuable lessons that I will remember as we begin potty training.

Babies are born ready

elimination communication what’s that, you say? by mercedes donis

48

multiplicity

You know how dogs don’t like to soil themselves? Why do we think that babies are different? They have a natural desire to keep their area clean. Part of EC is observing your baby sans diaper, as well as keeping them close to you either in arms or via baby wearing. Babies are less likely to “go” when they are being held, or when they are “contained,” as in a car seat or infant swing.

Plus, newborns don’t have the ingrained habit of peeing in a diaper. Have you ever tried to change a diaper, only to be peed on as soon as the diaper comes off? This was the case with my son many times! Babies don’t want to sit in their own waste. Our culture essentially “diaper-trains” babies, requiring us to potty train them later. One concern is that babies can’t, or shouldn’t, “hold it.” In this way, EC is not the same as potty training.

In EC, the caregiver spends lots of time observing the baby and learning his unique signals that precipitate elimination, and it is the adult’s responsibility to provide the opportunity. Much like learning their hunger cues from birth, parents can learn when their babies need to go and help them relieve in a completely natural way. Babies aren’t asked

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

special insert

“Having a poor attitude won’t get you anywhere and can teach children to feel ashamed of their bodies.” to hold it, and EC is very much a non-coercive, gentle practice.

It’s not gross

Back when I was pregnant I visited a friend of mine, who had a nearly two year old daughter.

The girl had escaped off to a corner to hide and poop in peace. The mother scolded her, exclaiming, “That’s so gross!” It didn’t sit right with me. I believe our attitudes towards pottying affect our children. Eliminating is a natural function and as parents, it is our duty to deal with it. Especially with multiples, there’s no getting around it: there will be a lot of waste, whether you cloth diaper, EC or use disposables! Having a poor attitude won’t get you anywhere and can teach children to feel ashamed of their bodies.

I’m not saying you have to praise every bowel movement, or that you even have to enjoy diaper changes, but it is something to think about.

It’s not all or nothing

Some people EC from birth, others do it parttime. It all depends on what works for each family. I tried it part-time with my twins and really enjoyed the experience, but to be perfectly honest, it was a little overwhelming to keep up with. Over the past year, I’ve tried to pick it back up with varying success (for example, my son’s timing is predictable and I can usually “catch” a pee from him!). But it was certainly easier when they were immobile babies!

It’s not about the result

Here is the big one. Most people might assume that the purpose of EC is to get out of diapers as soon as possible, but that’s really not the case.

Even with EC, a baby won’t become fully pottyindependent before one year of age because of the skills involved (moving to the potty, removing clothing, wiping, etc). So practicing EC is actually a longer process than conventional potty training! The first and foremost reason most people choose to practice EC is because of the bond that is strengthened when you are so multiplicity

attuned to your baby’s body language, and this is something I can personally attest to. When you discover your baby’s timing and unique signals, sit her on that potty and she does her business, you really feel like a team! There are no rewards or bribes to “get” them to potty, and there is no scolding or shaming.

So, where to go from here? If you’re curious about EC and other “crunchy” parenting practices: *Check out the previously mentioned Beyond the Sling: A Real-Life Guide to Raising Confident, Loving Children the Attachment Parenting Way, by Mayim Bialik, PhD. It’s a great primer for those looking for a way into the world of attachment parenting. *If you want to know more before you try it, I recommend you read The Diaper-Free Baby,

by Christine Gross-Loh, as well as check out the international organization at Diaper Free Baby. Both will give you a good understanding of the theory behind EC, as well as the cultural background from around the world. *If you want to know how to do it, the best practical resource I’ve found for actually learning how to do EC --- including positions, tips on supplies, using a diaper back-up, and more --- has to be Andrea Olson of Go Diaper Free. She has a book and an online community at her website and she is relatable, helpful and rife with information. She was my go-to source for all the EC questions I had in the beginning.

I definitely recommend heading her way if you want the nitty-gritty on ditching the dipes.

The EC method has literally been used around the world for many generations. One last, but important thing to note is how clean it actually is. Babies use whatever container you choose, whether it’s a toilet, a bowl, the outdoors, etc. They can also take cues from you as to when they go by a certain position you place them in, or perhaps even noises you make (think the comforting sound of rushing water).

They no longer sit in their urine or waste (say goodbye to diaper rash and creams to treat it!), but rather require a quick wipe or a rinse and they’re as good as new! While not for everyone, it’s certainly an eco-friendly option offering an even tighter bond between babies and mom. the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

49

special insert

potty aids potty watch by potty time

How much fun would it be if your little ones could go to the potty without you constantly asking or telling them? This watch does the job for you! Flashing lights and playing one of two catchy song reminders (to the tune of London Bridge and Oh, My Darling), your kids will be running to do their business in no time at all.

Just set the timer in increments of either 30, 60 or 90 minute modes. Retail: $11.99

go potty go! dvd

Paige and Parker Panda and other lovable animated characters show kids what they need to know to go potty all by themselves. Catchy songs, silly stories and fun, interactive games are guaranteed to inform, inspire and motivate tiny toddlers to use the potty. Retail: $11.98

handy’s plus pad by basic comfort

This pad is super absorbant, with a waterproof backing to keep sheets and the mattress dry during those occasional overnight accidents.It’s also easy to remove and change, with extra long saddly tucks.

Retail: $18.00

tinkle timer by pottymd

Little ones having trouble staying on the potty long enough to do their business? Eliminate the power struggle with the 2-4 minute Tinkle Timer. Kids can read or play until timer is complete and then try again next time. Retail: $8.95 50

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

magnetic reward chart by inky dinky doodle

Help keep your little ones excited about the progress they are making on the potty with potty training charts. Each comes with a dry erase marker and magnets. Border color and font can be customized during checkout. Retail: $11.50

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

51

oh,the places we can go!

by angel rodrigues

t

here is nothing more frustrating as a parent on vacation with their family than an unfamily-friendly location. Sometimes the brochures or travel sites forget to mention the lack of changing tables, places to warm bottles, kid’s menus, and kid-friendly venues in general. As a mom to four children, including a set of twins, I am forever looking for places that we can relax as a family and my husband and I can take turns taking the kids to the bathroom without forcing him to change a baby on the floor. These are my top five family-friendly vacation destinations that won’t rob you of your dollars or your sense!

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

There is a very long list of things to do in Pittsburgh that often get overlooked by people living outside of the ‘Burgh. Everything from Carnegie Science Museum, to the sports arena’s, and the many parks and recreation area’s, Pittsburgh has no end to its family friendly things to do. If you plan it right, you can even hit them all up for free! Every year, Pittsburgh holds Radical Days, where families can hop from museum to museum, to zoo, to theaters, to cinemas; everything is free for any sized family.

The family focused area can entertain every member of your family and is quite used to families with multiples. Often celebrated in the 52

multiplicity

Pittsburgh Pirates Stadium; Soldiers & Sailors National Military Museum and Memorial

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

local news, many multiples and their families attend local schools, and the city recognizes this and accommodates all with their large family-friendly entertainment options. So even if you’re not a fan of sports, (not everything is about the Steelers you know), Pittsburgh has plenty to make for a great affordable, family-focused, vacation.

Cleveland, Ohio

So maybe Cleveland wasn’t a city you thought about when thinking of family-friendly vacations, but I am here to prove you wrong. Local chef Michael Symon owns and runs an upscale restaurant Lola.

Upon first glance, kids may be the last things you think when making a reservation, but I can tell you, you should. I took my family there and thought ahead about the restaurant’s accommodations and my own needs. I took the first reservation, so the restaurant wouldn’t be super busy and we sat closest to the door. With their great big windows and city people walking around, the kids were well entertained.

During warmer months, there is even an outside patio option.

One of my children spilled soup on themselves and the restaurant even went and got some cold rags, wiped him down, and gave him a wait staff t-shirt for him to wear home. You can’t ask for better attention for your kids than that!

In addition to this great stop, there is the House of Blues, with a great kids menu, loud atmosphere (so no one notices a loud child or two!), and finally the Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame.

Cleveland, Ohio waterfront view at dusk; Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame; Downtown Cleveland street/restaurant patio view This place is a wonderful familyfriendly option, as children 8 and under are free! For $40, my whole family of 6 spent hours trolling through the exhibits, listening to music, the kids got to dance, sing, enjoy headphone listening stations, and catch a few short film history movies.

At the end, they were able to all pick something out from the gift shop and I spent under $20! All in all, Cleveland is a great place to spend a day or two with any sized family and leave feeling like a rock star. multiplicity

Savannah, Georgia

Savannah is another destination that not many families think of when looking for a southern destination to enjoy and explore, but this place is on my top five. You can eat from around the world with all cuisines represented there and for anyone who loves southern comfort food, a visit to Paula Deen’s restaurant The Lady & Sons is in order while there.

Also, who doesn’t love going to a place where everyone responds, “oh, bless their

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

53

Riverboat on Savannah River little heart,” every time their child does something publicly unacceptable? There are lots of waterfront activities, including a tours and dinner cruises on old fashioned riverboats, performers and music in the streets, ice cream and sweets shops all over the place, and great parks and museums. The history, architecture and weather alone are all great reasons to visit.

Despite being in the deep south, Savannah sits right on the water and when those hot summer nights come, the breeze does, too. Great music, great weather, tons of familyfriendly restaurants and outdoor foodie stops makes Savannah a great choice for any family.

Tampa, Florida

One word here: Legoland.

How can any destination that houses an amusement park full of Legos not be on your list? It just can’t. Everything from the greatest Lego architecture, to the buckets of free play Legos, to the incredible design villages of every imaginable theme, this family oriented and focused place is a wonderful destination.

54

multiplicity

Downtown Savannah with night lights You cannot go wrong with a vacation destination that has an insane amount of Lego’s everywhere, and best part? It is someone else’s responsibility to pick them all up! Tampa is also known for its thriving Latin community with abundant cultural delicacies, but places like Ybor City (known for hand-rolled cigars) might be a better fit for parents and older kids. Another site for everyone, Busch Gardens offers thrills from scary coasters to adorable animals, doubling as a theme park and zoo in one.

Kids can even check out views of the hospital for injured and abandoned animals, most of them babies. Want something a little more low key? Visit the docks where you can see cruise ships or check out the aquarium where you can also take tours of the bay on a catamaran. You could possibly score a visit with some of the 400 bottlenose dolphins said to live there. If you’re looking for more relaxation, there’s nothing better than Tampa’s beautiful soft, white beaches to let the kids play while you soak up some sand and sun.

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

Tampa Bay area; Tampa beach; Ybor City architecture

Colt State Park

Bristol, Rhode Island

A small, but packed destination like Bristol, Rhode Island often goes unnoticed except by locals.

Home to Colt State Park, Bristol has the wonderful blend of park and beach like no other. There are tons of spots for large families, with cabanas to sit under, familyfriendly bathrooms, playgrounds everywhere, horseback riding, dune buggy driving, trail walking, camping, and all on a beach. Go from dirt and tree activities to beach family fun in no time. Free, open year round, and capable of entertaining so many families at one time that crowding isn’t even an issue. After a day at this park, staying at local hotels all come at a great price. For any hour of the day there is something to check out. Take a stroll down main street in the downtown for every type of shop you can imagine. There are shops for toys, music, food, films, theaters, coffees, smoothies, and venues of all kinds. Want a little more of the big city? Providence is only about 30 minutes away by car, with more than you could possibly do in a day! From its unique urban appeal, Providence welcomes families en masse.

Narragansett Bay Enjoy a summer concert at the award-winning Waterplace Park, visit the many museums and waterfront parks, or enjoy either a gondala ride along the canals or kayak the river. One last place to visit in Providence would be the Roger Williams Park Zoo where families can paddle boat through the extensive lake system, listen to concerts, picnic and bike, and even drop in to the Museum of Natural History and Planetarium. Regardless of which of the adventures you choose, both cities’ charm will soon have you glad you visited and coming back for more.

Great destinations that are family friendly are focused on one thing: making memories. Each of these five places is a destination that you can experience something new each time.

Changing seasons, changing themes and changing times makes each visit like the first. All the best family vacations require a plan and an agenda, but most fun is left up to exploration.

These destinations are begging for just that. Remember the camera, fresh batteries/chargers, and start making memories! multiplicity

Downtown Providence; Waterplace Park in downtown Angel has a feminist brain, a thirst for knowledge, and writing is her dirty little secret. She is mom to a 7 year old, 4 year old busy twin boys, and a 2 year old independently spirited young lady. She has been married to the best man on earth for over 14 years and is kept alive by coffee.

You can follow her blog or find her on facebook and twitter.

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

55

Island Resort

multiplicity

ACCESSORIES MAY V LES ACCESSOIRES INCLUS PEUVENT VAR LOS ACCESORIOS PUEDEN VARI

A portion of the sale of this product goes to: Une portion de la vente de ce produit est versée à : Una parte de la venta de este producto se destina a:

11/2+ years ans • años

™

CONTENTS: 1 PLAY TABLE WITH ACCESSORIES CONTENU : 1 TABLE DE JEU AVEC DES ACCESSOIRES CONTENIDO: 1 VECTOR DEL JUEGO CON LOS ACCESORIOS

56

DESIGN AND COLORS MAY V L’APPARENCE DU ET LA COULEUR PEUVENT VAR EL COLOR Y EL DISEÑO DEL PUEDEN VARI

Isl Re

Tropi

726900

Tropical

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

™

Maximum donation: $10,000 • Don maximal: 10 000 $ • Donación máxima: $10.000

Myles, 21/2 tiny Heart Superhero™, awaiting his fourth surgery and rocking his scar!

• attend sa 4e opération et montre fièrement sa cicatrice!

• espera su 4ta cirugía y lleva su cicatriz con orgullo!

DESIGN AND COLORS MAY VARY L’APPARENCE DU ET LA COULEUR PEUVENT VARIER EL COLOR Y EL DISEÑO DEL PUEDEN VARIAR ACCESSORIES MAY VARY LES ACCESSOIRES INCLUS PEUVENT VARIER LOS ACCESORIOS PUEDEN VARIAR

Got great twins? Tell us!

endon & br

brayden

of the month sponsored by

r t yle

m ax &

All submissions entered will be considered/reviewed by the Twiniversity Mom Squad.

The chosen twinnies will be featured on Twiniversity and will receive a toy from our sponsor, Step2. Send us your submission today!

& meghan ilee

nnor

em

Thanks to Step2 for partnering with us and congrats to our recent winners!

on , land & co

Myles, 21/2

tiny Heart Superhero™, awaiting his fourth surgery and rocking his scar!

take the guessing out of registering for your twins!

Baby Gear Guide arriving in may! multiplicity

The Saving tiny Hearts Society’s mission is to raise money for grossly under-funded, lifesaving grass roots research of congenital heart defects (CHD's).

CHD's are the #1 birth defect worldwide affecting over 1,000,000 babies every year! the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

57

The creator of the Twiniversity online resource delivers the definitive survival guide for all parents of multiples --- from pregnancy through the first year The rate of twin births has risen by 79% over the last three decades, and continues to grow.

Expectant parents are overwhelmed with questions: do I really need two of everything? Can we do this ourselves or do we need help? Will I have to rob a bank to raise these babies without going broke?

A twins mom herself and national guru on having two (or more!), Natalie Diaz launched Twiniversity, a supportive website with advice from the trenches. What to Do When You’re Having Two covers: *making a Birth Plan checklist *sticking to one sleep schedule *double-duty breastfeeding *must-have gear *building one-on-one relationships with each child early Brimming with tried-and-true tips --- from the diaper budget to stroller sanity --- this is the must-have survival guide for parents of multiples.

Natalie Diaz has been featured in The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, New York Family Magazine, and more. She was named one of the top 100 Social Media Moms on Twitter by Disney and has recently been nominated for a She Knows Parenting Award.

Order your copy today!

58

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

you heard it here first...

When did morning sickness begin and how did you cope?

Twins with dry, itchy skin? Could it be eczema?

Here are a few go-to, fix-it fast tricks!

I was sick until 17 weeks. I threw up almost every morning. If I ate before getting out of bed, that helped. - Erika N. From 9 weeks to 14 weeks. Never vomited, but felt like I should. The only thing that helped was to eat something every 2 hours. - Sally J. I remember having to wear sea-bands, but mainly because I wasn’t telling co-workers I was pregnant! - Noel P. Terrible morning sickness, and all day/night sickness. I lived on Zofran, water and chicken broth until about 14 weeks. - Dani F.

I mix 50/50 Eucerin lotion and hydrocortisone cream. - Becky G. I tried Babyganics for eczema on my two year old and was amazed at how well it worked. Patches cleared up within 3 days. - Ruth R. We use oatmeal baths, and babyganics eczema relief.

I’ve also heard coconut oil helps. - Gracie P. They make a product called Vanicream that was recommended by our dermatologist. They sell it at Target and Costco. - Shandra L. Baking soda bath and aveeno eczema lotion cleared our little one right up! - Lisa S.

What’s a mom in need to do?

Up in the night breastfeeding and have a question? Teething babies driving you to the brinks? Chatting with other moms of multiples around the globe is always at your fingertips. Join Twiniversity’s BigTent group of nearly 5,000 members...FREE!

YOUR AD COULD BE HERE. Have a great product for parents or multiples?

the coolest new resource for multiples clubs

We’re reaching parents of multiples all around the globe and we’d love for you to be a part! Contact talitha@multiplicitymag. com to learn about ad rates and securing your spot in a future issue.

coming soon! multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

59

ev asy

recipes for spring by carolyn christensen

With spring, I think of fresh fruit, leftover ham, and the beginning to grilling season!

Also, when the days are long, chances are you have less time to cook meals, as you and the kids are enjoying time outside a little longer. Here are a few of our family’s favorite spring recipes that will hopefully help you enjoy without all the extra time in the kitchen!

Sweet Italian Chicken Tenderloins

*1-2 lbs. of Chicken Tenderloins *2 Tbsp. of Italian Dressing *1 tsp. Lemon Juice *1 tsp. Mustard 60

multiplicity

*2 Tbsp. Brown Sugar *¼ tsp. of Salt *¼ tsp. of Onion Powder *¼ tsp. of Minced Garlic in Oil (or 1/8 tsp. of Garlic Powder) *½ tsp. of Parsley *¼ tsp. of Black Pepper Spray a nonstick skillet with cooking spray, then add tenderloins to the pan and sprinkle with salt, pepper and garlic powder. Cover, cook on medium heat until the bottom turns white, then flip tenders and continue to cook covered.

Mix the remaining ingredients.

Once you no longer see any pink on the tenders, add the marinade/sauce. Cook uncovered at medium high until the sauce thickens.

Continue to flip the chicken to keep coated. The chicken should get a grilled look to them and they are done. You can also use the sauce as a marinade then cook on the grill. Serves well with mashed potatoes and peas.

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

Spring Jello Salad

*1 Pkg Jello (any flavor, but cherry is a favorite!) *1 C Boiling Water *¼ C of Sour Cream or Yogurt *1 Can Crushed Pineapple *1 C Minced Coleslaw Mix (found with bagged lettuce in the produce aisle --- I prefer the one with a lot of red cabbage) Dissolve the jello into boiling water; mix for about two minutes. Add in the whole can of crushed pineapple, juice and all. Mix thoroughly and refrigerate for one hour (it will set some). Add the sour cream and minced coleslaw (I run mine through the food processor to mince it kid size). Mix well and refrigerate another 2-3 hours. It will not set as firm as Jello, but it will hold a shape. With fruits and veggies, this is a delicious, cool treat you don’t have to feel guilty about serving the family!

with reserved cheddar cheese and sprinkle with paprika for color and return to the oven for about 10 minutes just to brown the top. Enjoy!

Strawberry Lemonade

*1 C Frozen Strawberries *1 Packet of Lemonade *¼ Cup of Sugar *1 Quart of Water

Leftover Ham Casserole

*1-2 C Leftover Ham (diced into small cubes) *1-2 C Sharp Cheddar Cheese *4-5 Medium Size Russet Potatoes (or pasta of choice) *1 Can Cream of Chicken Soup *½ C Sour Cream *¼ C Milk *2 Green Onions, Diced *½ C Peas *½ tsp. of Salt *½ tsp. Pepper *½ tsp. Garlic Powder *¼ tsp. Onion Powder *1 tsp. Parsley *Dash of Paprika *Dash of Cayenne (optional --I love adding the heat but my family prefers it without) Preheat oven to 400 degrees and grease a 9x13 casserole dish. Reserve ¼ cup of cheddar cheese for the top.

Slice your potatoes into about ¼ inch thick slices. Dice the ham. Mix the remaining ingredients, except for the ham and potatoes in a bowl. Begin by making a single layer of potato slices then ham on top and repeat. About half way up, pour half of the mixture over the ham and potatoes. Repeat the layers until you have used up all the potatoes and ham.

Pour the remaining mixture over the top. Cook covered for 40 minutes. Uncover and top

Add strawberries, lemonade and sugar to a blender along with a cup of water. Puree the mix thoroughly. Pour into a pitcher along with the remaining water, stir and serve. Can also garnish with fresh strawberries and lemon slices. (Note: Strawberry seeds are not friendly for certain sippy cups; if serving to toddlers, I recommend straw cups.)

Cool Whip Anything Pie

*1 14oz Can of Sweetened Condensed Milk *2 Tbsp. of Lemon Juice *1 Graham Cracker or Oreo Pie Crust *1 Can of Pineapple (can substitute drained mandarin orange slices, crushed oreo cookies, preserves, drained fruit cocktail, diced fresh strawberries...anything) *1 8oz Tub of Cool Whip Topping, Thawed Mix the milk and lemon juice until combined well. Add can of fruit of choice, then gently fold in the Cool Whip topping. multiplicity

Pour into the pie crust and refrigerate at least 3 hours. It can be frozen and thawed in the refrigerator for later, as well.

Everyone’s Favorite Parmesan Potatoes

*1 C Parmesan *¼ C Shredded Mozzarella Cheese *½ Stick of Butter or Margarine *¼ tsp. Black Pepper *¼ tsp. Salt (Optional as the parmesan is salty) *1 tsp. Parsley *½ tsp. Garlic Powder *½ tsp. Onion Powder *4-5 Russet Potatoes, Baked (I “bake” my potatoes in the microwave and let them cool enough to handle) Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Place ½ stick of butter in a 9x13 casserole dish and place in oven while it is preheating.

Slice the potatoes in half, lengthwise. Once the butter is completely melted in the casserole pan, take out and tilt the pan to coat the bottom of the pan, then sprinkle all the herbs and seasoning over the butter evenly. Sprinkle the parmesan evenly followed by the mozzarella. Carefully place the potatoes cut side down and return the pan to the oven.

Be careful the pan is still hot!

Bake about 15 minutes or until you see the cheese in between the potatoes turning a golden brown. Once they are browned, let them cool for 5 minutes on the stove before trying to serve.

You want to make sure you keep the browned cheese on the potatoes. Serve cheese side up. These are great served with any meal, but really compliment meats prepared on the grill.

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

61

book review

for parents! by cara krenn

Couldn’t put The Hunger Games trilogy down?

Then it’s time to pick up Divergent

by Veronica Roth, part of the next big YA series. Tris Prior lives in a dystopian Chicago where all of society is divided into five factions based on certain personality strengths: Abnegation (selfless), Amity (peaceful), Candor (honest), Dauntless (brave), and Erudite (intelligent). Every year, each sixteen-year-old must choose the faction where they will spend the rest of their lives.

After Tris makes a surprising choice, she must survive an intense initiation combining extreme mental and physical challenges. As a romance blossoms, Tris must hide a secret that could threaten her life and shatter the very structure of her society.

Divergent, the movie, opens in theaters March 2014.

The Pioneer Woman (aka Ree Drummond), known as one of the most successful mom bloggers on the planet, is back with another delightful cookbook, this one based 62

multiplicity

on holidays throughout the year. Drummond’s latest, The Pioneer Woman Cooks: A Year of Holidays: 140 Step-by-Step Recipes for Simple, Scrumptious Celebrations, is a great resource for those who want to make family holidays more memorable with special meals, as well as those who love to try fun, playful, and delicious new recipes. Need inspiration for a New Year’s brunch, Easter dinner, or a Fourth of July cookout? How about spooky treats or the perfect Christmas cake? With their gorgeous photos, Drummond’s recipes are easy to follow and are accompanied by her signature humor and storytelling.

Parenting toddlers and preschoolers can be quite a challenge, especially for moms of multiples who are going through tough kid stages at the same time. Positive Discipline for Preschoolers: For Their Early Years--Raising Children Who are Responsible, Respectful, and Resourceful by Jane Nelsen Ed.D., Cheryl Erwin, and Roslyn Ann Duffy, is an easy-toread, thoughtful book that empowers parents with nonpunitive ways to manage young children’s often demanding behaviors. It includes practical solutions and tips on avoiding power struggles, instilling important social skills, and using misbehavior as a teaching moment. Check out Positive Discipline online for tips for other age groups.

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

Elizabeth Gilbert, bestselling author of Eat, Pray, Love spins an impressive tale weaving together history and science in The Signature of All Things. Alma Whittaker is a homely, brilliant, and absurdly rich botanist who possesses an extraordinary mind. The novel explores the known world – the facts, the science, the things humans can firmly grasp, as well as the often frustrating and fleeting spiritual realm.

Eccentric characters range from abolitionists to leading scientists, ocean explorers to American millionaires of the 19th century. Gilbert somehow makes the study of botany fascinating – for from the mere examination of Alma’s mosses springs forth a major scientific theory – one that Alma may just share with a breakthrough luminary of her day.

Looking for a darling twinspecific children’s picture book?

Ms. Stone, a retired Assistant Principal in the NYC Public School System and a fraternal twin herself, has crafted a delightful story celebrating the special bond of being a twin in Twins, First Friends. Twins, Annie and Jimmy grow up doing everything together — stomping rain puddles, digging for worms, launching snowballs, learning to ride bikes…they aren’t just best friends, they’re each other’s first friends. On the first day of school, they discover that they won’t be in the same class and will need to learn to make new friends.

A whimsical, nostalgic story perfect for twin families.

A TWIN?

DEALING WITH THE CHALLENGES OF BEING

“The Same but Different presents a stunning, in-depth look at the lives of adult twins as they face the twin challenges of closeness and independence, love and resentment in their evolving relations with each other.”

—Nancy L. Segal, PhD, author of Born Together—Reared Apart “Not only is The Same but Different a mustread for adult twins, it is an invaluable resource for the parents of younger twins who want to start their same-age children on the road to a healthy relationship in the future.”

—Lauren Apfel, PhD, blogger “Omnimom”

Rocky Pines Press • 192 pages • $15.95 • ISBN: 978-0-9893464-3-6

AVA ILA B LE F R O M YO UR LO C AL B O O KSTO RE O R AM AZO N. CO M

on being

swim

savv y!

It’s getting warmer and the water will be calling! Choosing the right baby swimwear is essential to ensuring your twins are comfortable, happy, secure, and warm in the water. There a few key items that your babies will need to go swimming, and these include: Baby Swimsuit. *EvenNeoprene in heated pools, babies

can get cold quickly, so a swimsuit made of a soft neoprene fabric is essential.

The wetsuit will fit snugly around your baby’s body creating a warm, loving hug, leaving the arms and legs free to have a good time.

Swim Nappy. A double layer *nappy system is now mandatory at many public swimming pools.

Chlorine resistant non-slip *changing pad. Changing babies at public pools is never the easiest of tasks, so make sure you take along a changer pad to help solve the problem.

items you might want *to Other consider are Paddlers (pool

socks) to prevent toddlers slipping on the poolside and an AquaBand for little ones who do not like getting water in their ears (they also help to prevent ear infections).

With the proper gear in hand, you’re sure to have a great time!

brought to you by.. multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

63

twin speak

real or really weird? by lindsay macdougall

Finding out you are expecting twins is always a shock. So, it shouldn’t be surprising then that friends, family, and even complete strangers are enthralled with the idea of two buns cooking in your oven! As parents of twins, we are all too familiar with those infamous questions.

Are they twins? Are they identical?

How do you tell them apart? Did you try for twins? As your twins get older, the questions may slow down. But a new one may emerge; do they have their own language?

The idea that twins create a secret language, or a way of communicating that only they can understand, is something that has intrigued people for years. Even many of us parents may have wondered if this was something we would encounter as our babies grew. Cryptophasia, or the phenomenon of a language developed by twins, is certainly interesting, but what is it exactly? Is there enough scientific proof to verify that it really does occur?

64

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

According to the Journal of Speech, Language, and Hearing Research, it has been reported that up to 50% of young twins will have their own language and use this language to communicate with only their co-twin. Most times, the words used are unrecognizable or even completely unintelligible to average adult speakers.

While some may wonder if this is just some mythical power of twins, some researchers believe cryptophasia is actually caused by a delay in the phonological development of one or both twins. Because of this delay, twins may develop an ability to communicate with each other without using typical words and grammar. (And don’t feel bad. If you think one or more of your multiples may be slightly behind in their speech, you aren’t alone.

Delayed speech in general is related to low birth weight and premature births. Considering 60-90% of multiples are born premature, it is no surprise that many twins may see speech delays.) [Neer, 2013] Other researchers will tell you that children use each other as a model when an adult model language is absent. This doesn’t mean we aren’t doing our part as parents. Take, for example, when you hear your babies babble back and forth in their cribs at bedtime. Even in short time periods, children learn to mimic each other’s sounds and expressions, and even invent words of their own. In most cases, young twins are together nearly all of the time. Like any two people who spend most of their time together, they learn to rely on nonverbal or shorthand forms

of communication. Have you ever finished your best friend’s or significant other’s sentence?

The basic idea of cryptophasia is no different. Twins are able to act intuitively, understanding each other’s gestures, grunts or vocalizations. They also mimic each other’s attempts at expressive language, often reinforcing incorrect pronunciation or grammar.

Twins tend to talk faster and may abbreviate their words or leave out consonants altogether as they pronounce words, perhaps in a competitive attempt to talk over their cotwin and grab their parent’s attention first. [Fierro, 2014] While enough scientific proof does not exist to verify cryptophasia, parents of twins will tell you the opposite --- that these autonomous languages are not such a rare phenomenon. Plus, it just makes sense. For the most part, twin talk is harmless, and certainly adorable. As a twin mom, I couldn’t help but to stand outside my girls’ door and just listen to them jibberjabber back and forth with a smile on my face. It almost seems proof of that strong twin bond you know they must have. But I also couldn’t help but think, is cryptophasia normal, or should we be doing something to combat it?

The answer is yes, to both. It is not abnormal to witness this type of communication in your twin toddlers. In most cases, it will disappear as quickly as it formed. But in other cases, this newfound language may stick around, often making it difficult for people, and even us parents, to understand the messages multiplicity

our children are trying to convey. Lauren U., a speech therapist from metro-Detroit, offered five tips to Multiplicity readers in encouraging correct speech over twin talk: 1. Think about dedicating special one-on-one time, even if it is just for a few minutes, in order to communicate with each child individually.

2. Encourage each twin to answer and speak for themselves, not for each other.

3. Encourage words! Even if you know what they want, don’t give in to requests of grunts, noises, or fingerpointing (consider teaching sign language to help bridge the gap from babbling to actual words).

4. Use playtime as an opportunity to work on communication! Children are often most focused and motivated during play, and it gives us a great chance to sneak in some teaching moments!

5. Don’t interrupt your child or correct them mid-sentence. Let them finish their thought, and then repeat the words back to them correctly.

Lindsay is a SAHM mom to 3 year old twins, Molly and Madelynn. After having her girls, and beginning her own health and fitness journey, she found a passion for helping other twin moms get on the path to health and fitness themselves! She is the creator of the Toned After Twins community, where she now helps others get on the road to being healthy and reaching their goals. Follow her on facebook or email to join her team!

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

65

appy spring!

fun, educational apps for kids of all ages --and for mom and dad, too!

for mom and dad As parents, we collect about a million pieces of art over the years from our budding little artists, and sadly, most goes in the trash or we never remember where we put it. Artkive allows you to photograph your most treasured pieces and either share them or turn them into gifts and collectibles to share as a family or with others (i.e. books, mugs, t-shirts, etc.). Multiple kids? No problem! You can tag the artwork with a name, age/ grade, date, etc. to keep track of who created each piece. Now that’s worthy of a mom and dad of the year award! Even bigger perk? It’s free!

for the preschool and under crowd Let their imaginations soar with Monki Animal Builder.

Children hatch an egg to choose a body type and then decorate the animal with colors and stamps and various animated body parts and accessories. The combinations can be crazy or cute. There are more than 30 different parts in all. Silliest part? Hands wave and clap; wings flutter; eyes blink; the mouths make sounds. $2.99 at iTunes.com.

StartDOT Handwriting is a wonderful handwriting app for letters and numbers, allowing unlimited user profiles.

Each letter or number is accompanied by a picture for the initial sound, pictures within the letter or number, different practice formats, and a story relating to the pictures that describes how to write it. $4.99 at iTunes.com. for those 5 and up Do you know how much sugar, salt and oil are in the food you eat? With Smash Your Food, you can smash a real burger, crush a real milkshake, explode a real soda, and pound a real pizza. Watch how much sugar, salt and oil are in these foods. Fun and educational, this app motivates you to make healthier food choices. $0.99 at iTunes.com The Mad Libs App features include unlimited game play for children and adults, an email option for sharing silly stories with friends and family, and an interactive fill-in the blank type-pad and hints that help to educate and entertain simultaneously. $3.99 at iTunes.com.

chic design with multiples in mind!

full service. e-design. textiles. blog.

66

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

room for rent

teaching kids how to earn their keep at home!

Wondering if they should be helping a little more at home?

Use these tips to help your children learn responsibility at home. by nellie harden multiplicity

What would happen if you grew up without ever having to clean a dish, tidy up your room, or pick up the littered toys in the play area? How would you take care of your home today if you never knew about laundry, organizing, cooking, tools, and toilet bowls?

What memories would you have of your parents if you were always creating the chores and never doing them, while they stayed at a brisk pace two steps behind you unrelenting in their tasks?

Reality is that when we open our eyes, this story is all around us and when we take a deeper look, it may even be the story of our past and, possibly, our present. I have heard stories of so many that sit in bewilderment wondering how in the world they can do it all. Earn a living, create a life, keep the house in order, feed children, keep children challenged and thriving, and still have a speck of the day left to remember who you are. The “home� work can be so overwhelming that it might seem easier the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

67

to live out of a hotel until the kids graduate.

But, when we take a long and truthful gaze at what these “I’ve got this” behaviors can do to our children, the result may be far from what we intended. By making life easier when they are small, we can, in turn, make it much more difficult as they grow. The outcomes from these patterns are harmful to the independence, integrity and self-confidence of future generations. These children can become the definition of “enabled” by carrying on assumptions of parents, spouses or others bearing the load of responsibilities that accompany everyday life. Eventually, they realize they need to take care of themselves; this can energize some, but crush many.

There is a lot that can be said of the work ethic and family contributions that the colonials possessed. Even many of our grandparents talk about “working” when they were small children and having their daily tasks. So, what happened?

We hear it over and over again. The speed of life changed and today we are fortunate to have one or two nights at home together while the

Even when your children do not complete a task meeting your expectations, it is so important to acknowledge their efforts and give them praise.

Your children will be proud of their work and the grumbling will be replaced with “look what I did!”

A great way to approach this shift in dynamic is to sit down and have a family meeting. Start with praise for everyone and what they do well, voice concerns, and then supply a solution. Write out a contract of each person’s responsibilities, possible compensations, privileges and consequences. This way everyone is on the same page and no one can use the “I didn’t know!” excuse.

Compensations are different for every family, but find a place you are comfortable and maybe even throw in extra duties they can do to earn more. The consequences need to outweigh the privileges, as privilege can be earned, but no one can sit idly by and still have a full, productive and contributing life. It is possible by weeks end to owe instead of receive, and this is a life lesson best taught early.

“By making life easier when they are small, we can, in turn, make it much more difficult as they grow. The outcomes from these patterns are harmful to the independence, integrity and self-confidence of our future generations.” rest are plastered with meets, games, playgroups, meetings, gatherings and more.

With the precious time we do have, wouldn’t it be nice to have everyone contribute to the work at hand? When dinner is over, there is one person to clear the table, one to do dishes, one to sweep the floor, one to feed the animals and whatever else needs done in your home. Fellowship and bonding time can flow through this interval, as everyone is taking care of each other and the house. Even the smallest child can do the smallest of tasks starting at age 1 or 2. They want to be included, too, so make them a part.

When we do not teach our children about responsibility, respecting people, things, time and that there are consequences for poor choices… who will? Below is a sample chore list to help get you started. Please take into account that

Suddenly, the “chores” are a lot less dreadful and a lot more bearable. Everything is done faster to make room for family activities or just getting the kids to bed on time for once. After routine is established, the stress and weight of those burdens begins to lift and is replaced with joy that your children are learning and contributing.

68

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

you know your child’s abilities and challenges best and these are just examples. These responsibilities build as the child grows.

Daily Expectations for all:

Morning - Make bed, Brush hair, Brush teeth Evening - Get in pajamas, Brush hair, Brush teeth All Times - Respect yourself/others/ time/property Enjoy this precious life!

Age 1-2: Pick up toys, Put clothes in hamper or washing machine, Dust, and Clean up spills and messes.

Preschool: Feed animals, Clean table after meals, Empty small trash cans around the house, Sweep/vacuum floor after meals, Put clean laundry away, Get dressed, Brush teeth (with supervision), Wipe out bathroom sinks, and Water plants.

Early Elementary: Take care of animals and waste, Fold clothes, Set the table, Load dishwasher, Get mail, Help with light yard work, and Help with food preparations.

Late Elementary: Garbage, Recycling, Laundry, Simple meals for the family, Wash dishes, Pack lunches, Shower independently, and Clean bathrooms.

Middle School: Clean out fridge and freezer, Mow and heavier duty yard work, Wash the car, Watch younger children, Change sheets, More complicated meal preparation.

Nellie Harden has been married for 12 years and is a mom of four little girls, who represent four corners of a square and bring different gifts, energy and challenges to their world.

In addition to being a mom, she works with families through JuicePlus to get enough fruits and vegetables into growing and changing bodies every day and enjoy writing about all of life’s avenues. multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

69

i

flying solo:

life lessons from a single mom

by sadia rodriguez

used to bristle when people called me a single mother. “I just don’t know how you manage twins,” they’d say, “and to think you’re practically a single mother!”

I took exception to the label because I wasn’t single. Not then. I was married to a soldier. Sure, it was wartime and my then-husband was deployed more often than not, but I insisted that I still had a co-parent and a second income. I was not, I protested, a single mother, even as my husband called and wrote less often, taking an increasingly small role in raising our children.

When he walked out just before our eighth anniversary, the transition was almost easy, thanks to all my practice being single. The major differences between married and divorced life? The financial contribution my daughters’ father made went from 5 digits to 3, and I could now live where I wanted to raise my children, not where Uncle Sam sent us.

I apologize to the recipients of my ire.

They were right. I’d been a single mother all along. Now I wear my single mother status with pride. I’m joyfully single, loving motherhood.

Single motherhood isn’t the scarlet letter it once was. People don’t whisper about my immorality or failures as a wife as they would have in my grandparents’ time. My daughters’ generation doesn’t generally encounter the stigma of divorce or illegitimacy.

The prevalence of divorce makes life a little easier for children who have experienced it.

Military life with a spouse deployed more often than not taught me a lot about being a single mom. The big lessons are these:

1. Prioritization is key.

I am just one person. I have the same 24 hours in my day as everyone else. I

70

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

cannot do everything and be everywhere. I can’t physically accomplish as much as a two-adult couple. I pick and choose what really matters.

Years ago, I created a guide to keep myself focused. The things that matter to me, in order, are: * My daughters’ long-term well-being. Are they on a path to being healthy, happy, wholesome, productive adults? * My daughters’ immediate well-being. * My job. * My daughters’ relationships with close family, including their father. * Friends and remaining family. * Community participation. * My mental and physical health. * A healthy diet for the family. * Housekeeping and home maintenance.

Everyone’s priority list will look differently. Mine has been reordered over time, as external circumstances change and as my children grow older.

In the first months, meeting my babies’ immediate needs was much more important than nurturing their artistic talents or spiritual growth. My elementary school kids can wipe their own behinds and make themselves sandwiches in a pinch. For them, character formation comes to the forefront.

My 7-year-old daughters’ social, emotional and intellectual development is now at the forefront.

We are privileged to have extraordinary teachers this year. They challenge and nurture my identical twin girls

as individuals while honoring their closeness. Still, I choose to take a daily role in my children’s education. Chatting about what they’ve learned in school every evening means that I don’t get a chance to vacuum every day.

Would I love to have a spotless house? Certainly. Am I willing to sacrifice our weeknight discussions of science, history, math, literature and friendship for it? Absolutely not.

Just this week, spending an hour jumping on the trampoline to talk through the latest second grade girl drama meant that laundry went unfolded (again). An unexpected need for snuggles on Sunday afternoon meant that I needed to put off cleaning the fridge. A birthday party invitation discovered in the depths of a backpack meant delaying a library visit.

2. Flexibility is the single parent’s friend.

3. Community matters.

Within our routine, however, I allowed myself flexibility. If I felt isolated, I’d walk over to a neighbor’s house. If I needed to make it to an after-work happy hour to see a co-worker off to his next adventure, I’d leave work a little early to pick up the babies and wear them to the pub for an hour or so of good company. If one of the babies was fussier than usual, it might be a good night to order pizza instead of cooking the healthy meal I’d planned.

We all need help sometimes.

After having made it through their first winter healthy, thanks to military insurance covering Synagis shots, both my 33-week preemies contracted RSV at 18 months old. Fortunately, neither child required hospitalization, but it was a tough time to have a husband overseas. After several sleepless nights, one of my daughters threw up in my hair and I couldn’t take any more.

It was midnight. I walked next door carrying both babies and pounded on my neighbor’s door with my elbow. I asked her whether she could come over to make sure they didn’t stop breathing while I showered. In that lonely and scary time, her

There’s a time and place for flexibility. When my daughters were 6 months old, I was juggling breastfeeding with a full-time job while constantly terrified that my husband would take a bullet or IED blast on the streets of Baghdad.

Routine gave me the structure on which to hang my sanity. I certainly wasn’t about to mess with nap or feeding times or my pumping routine.

Raising children is a social experience. I’d rather they have the tools to find the right people and make the right decisions than try to do it all alone. multiplicity

Raising children is a social experience. I think mothers, in particular, can fall into a trap of thinking that we need to provide everything and be everything for our children.

Someday, though, our children will leave us. I’d rather make sure that they have the tools to find the right people and make the right decisions than try to do it all alone. All of that starts, in my opinion, with the community I raise them in.

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

71

contd. from --- flying solo friendship was the comfort I needed to make it through the night. Soon afterward, I came home from work to discover that the couple across the street had cut down and disposed of the dead tree in my front yard. I couldn’t do it all, but it would be okay. My community would carry us through the hard parts, as I now try to do for others.

4. I am still me.

I do no one any favors by neglecting myself.

Failing to exercise makes me feel lousy and act grumpy. Finding a local choir to sing in keeps me grounded. Working at a job I love shows my kids that they can follow their passions. Having my own income made life a lot easier when I found myself single and in the position of provider for my family!

Being single has made me a better mother.

I’ve had to think about what matters. I’ve been forced to build our community safety net. Single motherhood isn’t for everyone, but for now, it works perfectly fine for me.

72

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

photo courtesy of firewife photography

ask the veterans

twins beyond the twos...

If you have toddlers, then it’s that time of year... registration for preschool! Here are some basic questions to ask: 1. Communication. Every mom has an idea about what effective communication means. Just stay connected and it will be all good!

2. Safety. What if something bad happens? While you can’t predict or protect your kids from everything in this world, every mom has her idea of what safety means for her twins. This is the time to ask.

3. Curriculum. What are they doing all day? Is music, art, foreign languages, religion, science, or ‘computer-based’ learning important to you?

4. Discipline. When one acts up, what do you do about it?

At what point do parents hear about issues?

5. Costs. How much are we really talking? Aside from a possible break on registration fees and tuition, what else are you looking at? Ask about supplies, parties, field trips, etc.

Visit the preschool during a typical day, (without your twins), so you can focus. Good luck on your decision!

Pregnancy is a beautiful part of life and should be full of wonder and love.

Being pregnant with multiples doesn’t have to be scary, even if an unheard of diagnosis is involved.

Have questions?

We can help!

Answers for today.

Hope for tomorrow.

These tips were provided

by Linda Jenkins, mom of 3 year old boy/girl twins via Twiniversity. multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

73

ask joan During the Q&A session following one of my recent presentations, a mom in the audience asked my advice about how to handle an uncomfortable situation she was experiencing with one of her four year old twin daughters. She related that one daughter was thrilled about every opportunity to spend alone time with her. Mom described joyful outings eating lunch together and going to museums. However, when it was the other daughter’s turn to have her special time with mom, the child screamed, refused to leave the house, and clung to the nanny.

Naturally, this mom was upset, remorseful, and angry about the fact that her daughter was rejecting her. Mom asked me if I thought she should just let her daughter stay home, with the hope that the situation would change over time.

I adamantly clarified that these circumstances warranted immediate attention and intervention. I said that she must work hard to get reconnected to this daughter. I suggested that she begin to spend time alone with her daughter at home for small amounts of time, especially in the face of expectable tantrums and rage. I told her that the compliant daughter should leave the house with the nanny while mom spends time alone with the 74

multiplicity

! r e h r o f t h g fi

agitated child. Little by little if she feels that mom understands and tolerates her feelings, they both can reconnect with more love and understanding. I cautioned mom that this would take some time. Also, I emphasized how helpful it would be if mom could articulate what her daughter might be feeling, such as, “I know you are upset, you want to go with the nanny, but I love you and want special alone time with you”, etc.

If not handled sensitively and promptly, the girls will grow up with enormous resentment toward one another because one will be labeled the good twin and her sister’s identity will be organized around being the bad, unlovable one. The divisiveness between them in the face of mother’s overt preferential feelings will be emotionally devastating for everyone.

Unfortunately, a good/bad schism between the girls already exists, and this dilemma has to be confronted and remedied sooner rather than later. It is so crucial to fight for a connection to twins, trying hard not to compare them and appreciating each one for who she is.

For more information and professional advice on parenting twins, consider learning more about Dr. Friedman’s practice and her current book Emotionally Healthy Twins: A New Philosophy for Parenting Two Unique Children.

Dr. Joan A. Friedman is a psychotherapist who has devoted many years of her professional career to educating twins and their families about twins’ emotional needs. A twin herslef and having worked through her own twinship challenges and parented her fraternal twin sons, she is a definitive expert about twin development. She is the author of Emotionally Healthy Twins: A New Philosophy for Parenting Two Unique Children. Her second book that is now available, The Same but Different, addresses the intricacies of adult twin relationships.

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

five minute fix:

w

top knob style by traci zeller

hat turns an outfit from good to spectacular?

It’s undoubtedly the accessories. Well, the same thing is true in interior design --- only here I’m talking about those ordinary kitchen cabinets or plain dresser drawers. In this case, the accessories are the hardware! Knobs and pulls are not only functional, but also capable of making a style statement. Take this laundry room, for example.

The single thing that draws the most attention? I used whimsical “shirts” and “boxers” knobs to inject a sense of fun into what is often a tedious task. Best of all, changing hardware is one of those easy tasks that can be accomplished in literally five minutes.

As long as your new hardware fits the pesky holes of the old hardware, the swap should be as simple as a few turns of the screwdriver. Knobs and pulls are also a wonderful area to splurge, because – when you only need a few pieces – even relatively expensive hardware is an inexpensive solution to tired drawers or doors. The most comprehensive source I use online is MyKnobs.com, but Anthropologie and Nest Studio are fabulous for more unique looks. At MyKnobs.com, you can multiplicity

find all the basics, plus knobs made of anything from leather to horn. Glass knobs are perpetual favorite of mine for both traditional and modern homes. For a splurge, I especially love the Facet knob and pull from Nest Studio and the Precious Stone knob from Anthropologie.

A much more budget-friendly approach is the Allen + Roth line from Lowe’s, which offers great style at a very reasonable price point.

Amerock is another value-priced brand with a wide selection. With such incredible choices at our fingertips, why settle for boring hardware?

In five short minutes, you, too, can have “top knob style!”

Traci Zeller is an interior designer known for her clean, sophisticated mix of classic and modern pieces.

As a busy wife and mother to active twin boys, she appreciates the need for spaces that are beautiful and functional. Traci also authors a blog, and her firm, Traci Zeller Designs, provides full service design, textiles, and e-decorating packages.

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

75

a client success story Stephen and Ellen Howell are very special clients, not just because they banked with CBR five times, but because this Houston family welcomed quintuplets into the world five years ago. Born on the same day, Sidney, Mitchell, Luke, Ivy, and Briellen each have their own distinct personalities.

“Sidney is the first born and a bit bossy, while Mitchell is my happy easy-going boy who laughs at everything,” explains Ellen. “Briellen, the littlest baby is a firecracker in a small package, strong-willed and a little high maintenance; she knows what she wants.”

The quints are all different, but all are sweet and surprisingly well-behaved according to both parents. The family benefitted from a lot of help from their church community during the first year, especially with feedings. Now that things have settled down and the children are older, Dad says “sometimes we have quiet time as a unit.” It was surprising for Stephen to learn that these quiet moments 76

multiplicity

brought to you by Cord Blood Registry

were possible, and realized that the noise level that permeated the house when the children were infants actually came from their helpers!

“I thought my life would be chaos — that babies would take over my world. The reality is that it’s not as crazy as I expected,” says mother Ellen. “I sleep at night, we go on trips, I go to lunch with my girlfriends.

At first we were living and breathing babies, but we are in a good routine.”

Making the Decision to Bank At CBR, we know that it is difficult for expectant parents to make a decision on whether to bank cord blood. With multiples, cost is certainly a concern, but Ellen’s sister had chosen to bank and Ellen decided that was the right choice for her family, too.

“I think of it like insurance. I hope we will never have to use it, but we have it if we do and with the research that is going on, we wanted to be able to do everything possible for our babies.”

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

The Howells made the decision to bank at the last minute, which is why they advise other parents to try to decide before the other stresses of delivering multiples comes. After more than 12 weeks on bedrest, the babies needed to be delivered a few days short of 31 weeks. A CBR employee personally delivered kits to the hospital so they could bank. “I would tell other moms to think about this early so you don’t have that added pressure when your babies are coming,” Ellen says.

A Life at Play These days the 5-year-olds can be seen playing at the park or in their school nearby. They can cause a bit of a stir in public with strangers and Ellen is happy to chat about the children, but wishes people would notice that it might be more helpful to chase after a child than to keep her in a conversation. Dad tries to get home early every day to help and play. The Howells never planned on quintuplets, but they could plan for their family’s future health. With help from CBR, they were able to do just that.

Mama said there’d be days like this.

Join moms of multiples all around the globe in supporting each other on the good AND the not-so-good days.

photography by firewife photography

78

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples