103 things to do at UBC

103 THINGS TO

1. Find The Ubyssey’s Office 2. Write for The Ubyssey 3. Do what you love 4. Join the club with the least (or most) discernible culty vibes 5. Vandalize the Cairn 6. Polar Bear Swim on LDOC 7. Gorge on Blue Chip Cookies 8. Have an out-of-body experience at the Nitobe Memorial Garden 9. Go to the Pit and immediately leave 10. Vote in the AMS Elections 11. Discover Santa Ono’s salary 12. Write a paper shitfaced 13. Storm the Wall 14. Fall in love 15. Fall out of love 16. Bitterly divide up your friends 17. Become a Residence Advisor, Orientation Leader and/or Student Ambassador (if you do all three, we will bully you in awe!) 18. Make friends with the portraits in that bougie section of IKB — you know the one 19. Avoid the Halloween Pub Crawl at all costs 20. Buy an overpriced sweater from the bookstore to let everyone know you’re in first year 21. Get your organization a mean nickname from a prof (e.g. “The Vilest Rag West of Blanca”) 22. Stop and smell the roses (in the Rose Garden) 23. Avoid saying the Arts cheer during Jump Start/make up a better Arts chant 24. Get your legs pumping on that weird outdoor swing across from Buchanan A 25. Take a nap in the stained red armchairs in the easternmost part of the Nest 26. Order 6 hashbrowns from Tim Hortons to ‘show off’ to everyone else in line 27. Sneak koi fish into the UBC fountain and run away as fast and far as you can 28. Learn about water chemistry in CHEM 115 and sneak the fish back out of the fountain 29. Stay in the Nest long enough to see the fencing and/or dance clubs practice out in the open 30. Acquire Blundstones and a mason jar full of hemp hearts, berries and sawdust to pose as a forestry student so you can sit inside the forestry building 31. Lose your shower sandals, wear socks instead 32. Rank every single turkey brie sandwich on campus 33. Join a frat just to ask why anyone would join a frat 34. Fall off the climbing wall in The Aviary and never return 35. Linger outside the UBC skatepark with a tech deck 36. Design a giant saddle for the whale skeleton 37. Go to the Botanical Gardens 38. Adopt a campus squirrel à la Stuart Little 39. Get lost in the Rose Garden Parkade and make peace with your fate 40. Follow a siren song to Wreck Beach 41. Discover the siren is a naked 47-year-old man named Jerry 42. Steal from the dining halls 43. Permanently borrow a JUUL from your philosophy prof 44. Go to that one cliff (you’ll figure it out) 45. Switch majors 46. Switch majors again 47. This one’s alright, I guess 48. Go clubbing and run into your mom’s friends 49. Get kicked out of an on-campus coffee shop for studying too hard 50. Create a new drinking game 51. Watch a sunset from the 18th floor of Orchard Commons 52. Avoid dropping your phone out the window to get a picture

DO AT UBC

53. Accidentally overshare in an email to a prof about your absence 54. Attend a UBC improv show 55. Go see some weird German film or David Lynch’s Dune at The Norm 56. Move into MacLeod to complete a gruelling engineering group project 57. Enjoy delicious snacks and juicy gossip on the couches of the Agora Cafe 58. Become ‘ombuddies’ with an ombudsperson 59. Be too nervous to yell things in the echo circle at Wyman Plaza but think about doing it every time you pass by 60. Accidentally spend four hours in the MOA because it’s just that wonderful 61. Slackline in the trees between IKB and the SUB 62. Reject a frat that’s courting you 63. Enjoy the delicious scent of cigarette smoke in that one lecture hall of IKB 64. Trash a ‘devil’s advocate’ during the annual UBC snowball fight 65. Attend an AMS club’s ‘exec meeting’ at Koerner’s Pub 66. Submit a UBC Crushes post about yourself (practice self love!) 67. Go to a Blank Vinyl Project show that is indistinguishable from a dream when you try to remember it 68. Forget to pack a sweater to your class in the geography building and curse yourself forever after

69. 70. Attempt to flirt with Jamie, the Faculty of Forestry’s virtual assistant bot 71. Have a commie phase 72. Create a terrible podcast 73. Become a teaching assistant 74. Go to exactly three Koerner’s parties — no more than is necessary 75. Keep at least one plant alive for a year 76. Attend a seminar drunk (bonus points if you’re in a group) 77. See a coyote on campus 78. Enjoy a post-Pit McDonald’s run 79. Unionize something 80. Get free dinner at an AMS Council meeting 81. Protest the Board of Governors 82. Spill tea on UBC Confessions 83. Run up the Wreck Beach stairs 84. Get high in the forest next to Totem 85. Post in the UBC subreddit 86. “Um, ACKSHUALLY…” 87. Stay off the UBC subreddit 88. Get so pissed about the amount of money you give UBC that you almost drop out 89. Obsessively check the SSC when grades are released 90. Watch the SSC crash 91. Spill your Starbucks drink in the Life Building 92. Slip on ice in front of that one cute classmate 93. Go to the Birdcoop (unless you’re claustrophobic) 94. “Forget” to do a class reading 95. Forget to do a class reading 96. Write an essay on the 99 the day it’s due 97. Be awoken by some asshole pulling a fire alarm in the middle of the night 98. Have it happen ten more times throughout the year 99. Get your umbrella broken by the wind in a downpour 100. Dramatically smash it in a fit of rage because you’ll have to buy a new one anyway 101. Do a presentation with food in your teeth... it’ll happen, trust me 102. Try to join a club you are massively unqualified to join, just for fun 103. Don’t take all this too seriously