Motley Magazine, Vol XVI Issue IV- Modern Love

Why Wednesday Didn't Need A Love Interest Bressie, Blind Dates & Love Letters

Upcycling Your Failed "Situationship" Hoodies

The Motley Crew The Motley Crew

Niamh Browne Editor in Chief

Niamh Browne is a final year philosophy and art history student. She has previously written for publications such as Motley, Hot Press and the Irish Examiner. She is a part-time mad bastard.

Ronan Keohane Current Affairs Editor

Ronan is a 3rd year world languages student with a strong interest in political philosophy and international relations. He is passionate about education, the environment and minority rights.

Seán Enda Entertainment Editor

Seán Enda studies Digital Cultures, but don’t ask him to explain that because he’s not so sure either. His writing has featured in many publications, including several bathroom walls

ustine Lepage (also known online as Loucoffee), is currently pursuing the MA in Arts Management and Creative Producing. Her work has been published in magazines like Sound of Brit or the Outpost Eire. She is interested in maximalism and funky gnome fashion.

Édith studies Commerce & Irish and previously worked with UCC’s University Express. She’s relying on a diet of Coke Zero, Desperate Housewives and Taylor Swift to get her through final year.

Contributors

Kevin M. Smith Graphic Designer

Kev live, laugh, loves long walks on the beach and is a tired designer from Cork. He has a degree in colours from CIT and in his spare time makes comic books available nationwide. Ask him about the Fungie The Dolphin conspiracy.

Lisa Ahern Social Media & Deputy Editor

Lisa is a second-year BA English student and has previously written for Motley magazine in the past. She spends her time reading and writing, your typical Rory Gilmore wannabe.

Tiernán Ó Ruairc

Deputy Current Affairs Editor

Tierán is a first year arts student, with an interest in international relations and Irish Policing. Currently trying to catch up with the rest of the team’s writing experience.

Chloe Barrett Deputy Entertainment Editor

Chloe is a third year English student and was previously the Gaming Editor for the University Express. She reads an unhealthy amount of books and loves her dogs a totally normal amount, she promises.

Sinéad Mckeown

Deputy Fashion Editor

Sinéad is a final year English student who has been published in the Quarryman. She enjoys reading, writing and pretending to prepare for exams. She finds comfort in having her research tabs open on the computer while she binges Supernatural.

Sarah O’Mahony

Deputy Features

Sarah is a second year English and Politics student. Shortlisted for a features award at the 2022 SMEDIAs in Dublin, she’ll only go to the big smoke if there’s free food involved.

Klaudia

from the Editor's Desk

There’s a lyric to a song I quite like called Love, by Crywank and it goes ‘Love is fucking stupid and I hate you’. One of the many many odes to love out there, and I frankly don’t know what else you would expect from a band called Crywank. The song charts a stagnant relationship where both parties are together, not because of a mutual bond or a connection but for the convenience of being seen as a couple.

This, in many ways, is the ailment of modern times. We live in a hyper-sexualised era, where porn is available on tap, yet we are having less sex than our parents. People in the developed world have fewer close friends now than they did 30 years ago. And love it or loathe it, online dating accounts for 40% of how all new couples meet, and this trend is set to increase. For large periods of time in the last 3 years, we could only see a select few of our friends and family due to covid restrictions. The future is here, and it’s lonely.

When discussing the theme modern love, you wonder why you have to put modern in front of it. Surely the pleasure of human connection and relationships is timeless, in the same enjoying a good meal or listening to music or

admiring a sunset is. We have been doing these things for millennia. Indeed, there is an apocryphal story that Margaret Mead, a famous anthropologist, said that the beginning of civilization was not marked by the discovery of weapons or tools but by a healed femur. Mead explained that when animals in the wild break their bones, they are hunted before their bones heal, but a healed femur indicated that this person had been cared for. Helping each other through difficulty is the beginning of civilization.

I think that love is timeless, however, I think we live in a time of the commodification of everything, even human connection. I think we treat the pursuit of romantic love as some sort of video game, where there are infinite indispensable matches that you can power swipe through on a given evening. We don’t do much better when it comes to friends either. One of the main tenants of maintaining a friendship is consistency and showing up. I think people stress if they don’t make instantaneous connections with people in the first few weeks of college, but it takes time. A part of this is that we live in a hyper-individualistic society. All of our media is personally curated, from Twitter

Niamh Browne Editor In-Chief

to TikTok to streaming services. This means that we no longer have collective ‘cultural moments’ in the same way we used to. If we all watched the RTE news at 6, we would all have the same experience, and then we could discuss it at length. Now, however, when talking to people about TV, news and culture, it’s a case of ‘have you seen…?’ or ‘you should watch..’. Having unlimited access to media is intoxicating, but it does mean you’re less likely to overlap with your peers. On top of that, there is a huge trend towards individualism in social media therapy circles. This ‘you don’t owe anyone your energy’ attitude means you don’t ever get hurt, but you also don’t allow yourself the vulnerability to be truly intimate with someone.

This month Motley discusses all this and more. We have articles on attachment styles, divorce legislation in Ireland, and poetry to boot. And it’s not all about romantic connection either, with discussions on why Wednesday doesn’t need a love interest and why Valentine’s day is for all. This magazine has brought together the big and small when it comes to love, you’re in for a treat.

CURRENT AFFAIRS

The Invisible Dehumanisation and Global Disparity Existing Behind the Commodification of Love

P. 5

ISSUE No4 - JANUARY 2023

MOTLEY.IE

ENTERTAINMENT

Why Wednesday Didn't Need A Love Interest, Aftersun Review and SZA Explains Modern Love

P. 11

FEATURES

Interview with Bressie, Blind Dates, Love Letters and Poetry

P. 23

FASHION

Upcycling Your Failed "Situationship" Hoodies and "Vox Pop Goes My Heart" Photoshoot and Interviews

P. 35

The effect of online pornography on Gen Z modern love

The record-high loneliness of Gen Z has become a widely discussed topic throughout many journalistic outlets with surveys showing over 73% of Gen Z reporting continuous feelings of alienation. Although causes such as overstimulation from modern technology, decentralisation of information and the impact of social media have been drawn attention to, there is much to be said about the way in which the modern dating world has seen a rise in single and lonely men. Consensus surrounding this ongoing trend is noticeably quite divided, some people accredit this to men not meeting the relationship expectations of women with a new set of standards resulting from increased social mobility and independence. Recent statistics have concluded that men account for the majority of dating-app users which naturally decrease their dating opportunities since this causes a more selective and competitive datingapp environment to emerge for men which leads to a marginal increase in long-term single men. One thing is clear in this troubling situation: There is a mutual misalignment of expectations amongst men and women in heterosexual relationships which appears to be the source of the widespread issue.

A way in which this problem has been approached is through studies conducted on the impact of technology on Gen Z. In particular, the emergence of the online pornography industry and its effect on young minds. Pornography has become all the more accessible with

the unprecedented technological advancements of the 21st century and it has been pointed out as a contributing factor to the overarching problem. In particular, concern has been raised regarding the very young age of male consumers, with the average age of first-time viewership being 12 years old. There is also a gender disparity in underage porn viewership statistics, with surveys showing that a majority of men have viewed it before their teenage years in comparison to an average of 32% of female survey respondents. This has been shown to cause a number of different consequences for both men and women within heterosexual relationships. For men, higher rates of pornography addiction has been a growing issue amongst adolescent teenage men causing many sexual health concerns such as erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. Many men also report sentiments that porn is not beneficial to them in regards to learning how to be with a real woman. Since there is such a vast amount of pornographic material online, it is easy for more obscene material to be viewed by impressionable young men. The brutal and dominating role that men typically portray in pornography is also constraining toward them.

For women, a consensus has been growing about an increased pressure within sexual relationships to live up to the standards of porn. Many believe that if they do not adequately measure up with the newfound set of standards, they will not be able to maintain their

Deputy Current-Affairs Editor Tiarnáin O’Ruairc discusses the online porn industry in light of increased loneliness

relationships. Another issue which has been brought to light is that since a lot of porn is not made ethically, there is a growing fear that certain pornography fetishizes numerous violent situations where women fall victim which plays a role in normalising these situations outside the realm of internet videos alone. Some accredit violent pornography as being a force behind various serious crimes. Similarly, several academic studies have pointed to ways in which porn which fetishizes certain social groups which plays a role in shaping how they are perceived by the general public.

In light of the rise in lonely men, a meme has emerged by the name of “sigma male” which has been promoted by popular social media stars such as Sneako and Andrew Tate with millions of followers who are known for their public boasting of sexual excursions. These public figures have received considerable public acclaim and scrutiny alike. In particular, Andrew Tate has amassed a very large fan-base of young men and attention has been drawn towards the influence that he has had on them. The recent arrest of Tate on human trafficking charges has received widespread media coverage and has kicked off a massive public discourse surrounding appropriate role-models for young men along with a growing need to condemn unethical sexual practices which victimise women.

Modern Families vs Primordial Laws

What does the modern family look like in Ireland, and who is denied their rights by our outdated laws? This is more of a complex question than one might imagine at first thought and the reality of what defines the ‘family unit’ under Irish law has been criticised for being exclusionary. Did you know that there are almost equal amounts of children born to unmarried parents as there are to married parents? Did you know that unmarried

fathers have no Constitutional Rights to their children? Did you know that some children may have as many as eight legal parents? Did you know that “The Family” under Irish law only exists where the parents are married to each other?

Bearing these different facts in mind, we can first off cite a number of important statistics to understand how they fit within modern Irish society: One in two marriages end in divorce; between 2015 and 2021 there was a thirty-five per cent increase in divorces in Ireland; the waiting time between the filing for divorce and the actual decree is between two and four years on average (and prior to this the

modern woman – but upon investigation, it is actually more discriminatory than one would think. There is no such law there to protect homemakers that are men, so they are discriminated against based on their gender, and this section cannot be relied upon by women as it has been tried and tested in cases and found to be of very little help.

couple must be separated for two out of the past three years –although, before 2019, they had to be separated for three out of the past five years). Furthermore, one in four children are born into single-parent families; one in five of all people in Ireland live in a family headed by a single parent; and these families run the highest risk of falling below the poverty line. Unmarried parents who choose to have a child via surrogate also have no Constitutional Rights.

What is most fascinating about this is the fact that our laws’ foundations are rooted in the Irish Constitution, and from that the legislation grows. But the Constitution was written for the people and society of 1937 Ireland, not a modern Ireland. Even at that, it was what one man, Éamon de Valera, wanted society of 1937 to look like. This Ireland put men as the eternal breadwinner, confining women to childbearing, child rearing and home care duties. It is even written into our Constitution that a woman in the home should be supported by the State, as this is highly important for the full functioning of society. While at first glimpse, Article 41.2 would seem offensive to the

State support for single parents is positively shocking, and while one in five of all people and one in four new-born babies in Ireland belong to a family headed by a single parent. 86.4% of single parent families are headed by single mothers. Seeing as women are, on average, paid 9% less than men per hour, this puts these families at huge risk of falling below

the poverty line. This average does not take into consideration the perhaps even more pressing issue of the promotion gap. Why are these people being discriminated against like this? Somewhere between one-fifth and one-quarter of all people living in Ireland are struggling financially because the Courts and the government

refuse to grant homemakers the rights guaranteed by them under the Constitution. Homemakers should be allowed to do their part at home, regardless of their gender, professional training, or sexual orientation.

Unmarried fathers were given no rights to their children in the Constitution, as it was the societal norm that any man who would have a child outside of wedlock is no good,

Staff Writer Ava Sommers uses contextual analysis to explore the misalignment existing between the constitution of Ireland and modern Ireland and how the narrow definition of ‘family’ under Irish law affects people in Ireland.

and therefore he should not have any rights to the child, but women who gave birth to such children were also shunned. The legislation surrounding this in modern Ireland gives the father the right to apply to be a guardian, but he can only become an automatic guardian of his child through certain legal measures.

My main point, however, is that there are whole families out there that the law does not even recognise to be a family – indeed, you read that correctly. And your family may even be one of them.

If your parents are not married to each other, under Irish law, you do not have a family. If either of your parents were previously married, even where they remarried following a divorce, you do not have a family. How crazy is that? In a world where one in five of us live in a “family” headed by a single parent, according to Irish law, we do not have a family. Why are we, as citizens of Ireland, still being tied to the laws set out by the Catholic Church’s influence? When the Constitution was originally written in 1922, there was no such provision. However, it was rewritten in 1937 in order to include some extra necessities, such as this one, as requested by the Catholic Church. So after 15 years of the 1922 Constitution, it could just be redacted and rewritten

This is not even touching on the issues surrounding families which turn to surrogacy as a method of having children. The surrogate mother technically has the rights of a Constitutional mother, as she was the woman who gave birth to the child, regardless of whose embryo is used in the fertility process.

Due to this, there was one case where a child had eight potential parents – the couple who wished the child to be conceived, the donor of the ovum and her husband, the donor of the sperm and his wife, and the surrogate and her husband. The case here arose when the couple who wished to conceive the child separated, as it was then uncertain who in fact did have rights to be the parents of the child. Due to these fossilised laws within the Constitution, as Donor Assisted Reproduction was not possible at this time, there are no Constitutional laws surrounding these family types.

At least legislation now accepts the idea of same-sex marriage leading to families, and gives cohabitants similar rights to those afforded to married spouses (although not as extensive). And the the question remains: Why are we being constrained by ideas which were commonplace over a hundred years ago, when it was the norm to systematically beat children into subordination, to not recognise marital rape, to discriminate against people due to their race, religion, ethnicity, sexual orientation, preferred gender presentation, or nationality? We are forcing ourselves to play by the rules which we have fought to unbind ourselves from. The legislation we create is now far removed from the Constitution; these Sections of the Constitution no longer hold much weight. Yet we still hold onto these old ideals.

because the church would like to add some extra points. These extra points now leave many people without a constitutional familial status, yet we are so hesitant to redo what had been done earlier in the State’s history and simply rewrite the parts of the Constitution which do not fit into our society.

It is arguable that the definition of a family should be reframed. For example, the definition of a family under the census is “a couple with or without children, or a one-parent family with one or more children.” This far more accurately depicts what a family is in Ireland –there is no mention of marriage, but a child-free couple may still be accounted for as a family, without the exclusion of single-parent families. Another possible solution to this outdated model is that of a De Facto Family, which means that if the “family” looks and functions like a family, then it shall be granted rights as a Family Unit. There is growing consensus within this generation that all families should be afforded equal rights, and laws which stand in the way of this should be at least amended, or removed entirely.

THE INVISIBLE DEHUMANISATION AND GLOBAL DISPARITY EXISTING BEHIND THE COMMODIFICATION OF LOVE

In the modern age of globalisation, where free-market capitalism and neoliberalism have been established as dominant ideologies throughout the world, very few things have become exempt from becoming commodified. In recent years we can find many examples of the newfound prices to pay to avail of even one of the deepest interpersonal connections in human life: love. This has become a source of debate amongst many academics. The Frankfurt School, which is a well-known school of social theory and critical philosophy established by German-American thinkers, has reiterated the irreconcilable opposition between the economy and love by stating that when romantic stimulants derived from commercial proposals invade our daily lives, it results in an unwelcome colonisation of the life-world. This lifeworld in question refers to our immediate experiences shaping both the individual and the world surrounding the individual. This modern manifestation of love in combination with monetary gain within a world riddled with extreme wealth inequality has given rise to various different global trends.

One example of this is the phenomenon of importation of care and love from developing countries into developed countries. This has become a source of concern due to the fact that it widens the existing inequality between developed and developing countries. It occurs when women existing in difficult socio-economic contexts in developing countries leave their homeland in order to work as care workers, most typically child-minders or nannies, in developed countries. Oftentimes, this career decision is not a matter of choice since they are put into a position where they are forced to work abroad and send money home in order to provide for their families in the face of declining living standards exacerbated by environmental hardships which are an inevitable effect brought upon by our current international economic system. Women within these contexts experience significant emotional challenges due to the long-term separation from their families alongside the various difficulties which come along with moving to an entirely new country. Love shown by care-workers towards the people that they are minding is partially naturally cultivated in the host countries however it is combined with other factors which serve to intensify it such as money, ideology and strong emotions of

solitude which are the end result of familial separation. The benefits reaped from this situation becomes what is most visually apparent to the comparatively wealthier employers, this has ultimately led to the niche appeal of immigrant care workers working in more affluent countries. The high-esteem generated from the various benefits has been accredited for spiking a marginal increase in demand.

Alongside the evident occurrence of conditions within the economic system driving love out of developing countries into developed countries, we can see how this is a cycle which is continued as a result of the outcomes. This is largely because the objectification of the concept of ‘foreign-imported love’ alone serves to cause the general public to mentally separate this phenomenon from the various conditions within which it is rooted. In turn, this ultimately allows the cycle to continuously repeat itself as the injustices behind the circumstances become increasingly concealed and resultably are never fully addressed or resolved.

Examples of the negative effects of this commodification are not merely limited to the daily realities of people from developing countries. Within the global north, this newfound idea of interpersonal relationships being viewed through a lens of a potential source of consumer motivation helping enable profits has even affected our daily lives and shaped our daily realities.

We have noticed a growing commodification of love worldwide where dating apps such as Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, Eharmony etc. have taken a strong foothold on this generation. The most popular example of this is tinder, released in 2012, which allows the user to simply swipe left or right in a matter of seconds after viewing a profile consisting of a short biography, a

series of photos and a list of interests. Tinder offers various different paid subscriptions which serve to put any willing payer at an advantage over others in the quest for a romantic connection. Criticism has been drawn towards tinder for the addictive and game-style feel of the app alongside feeding into a hookup culture which has been accredited for causing a number of public health concerns, most prominently facilitating an increase in STDs and increasing feelings of loneliness. The site faced particular scrutiny after it was revealed that there was a “desirability score” which used algorithms to rank profiles offering better dating chances to participants who scored higher.

This type of process ultimately forces the network to become more hierarchical and exclusionary which limits the chances of people who rank lower. This creates a situation where people in these systems may feel more under pressure to ‘market themselves better’ and constantly compare themselves to people possessing more desirable assets which causes lasting feelings of inadequacy and hopelessness. The way in which the algorithm is structured makes this commonplace. These emotions, especially if repeatedly re-enforced, have been known to lead to depression.

Although the correlation may not be immediately apparent, contextualising these factors with regards to the ongoing depression epidemic and Gen Z often being labelled as the ‘lonely generation’, it is easy to see how this commodification contributes toward and exacerbates existing societal problems which are associated with this generation. Whether or not this commodification can be cited as a cause or a correlation is still an ongoing debate.

Why Wednesday Didn' t Need A Love Interest

Staff Writer Jessica Anne Rose asks serious questions of Netflix’s newest hit, Wednesday. WARNING: This article contains spoilers for Netflix’s Wednesday (it’s been like three months people where have you been?)

Wednesday, Netflix’s highly anticipated spin off series starring the daughter of the Addams Family, gained worldwide attention when it set the new record for most hours viewed in a week for an English-language series on Netflix, as well as reaching the number one streamed show on Netflix in over 83 countries. The titular character is played by the incredibly talented Jenna Ortega, who confessed to taking took fencing, cello, German, archery and boxing lessons in preparation for the role. Her dedication clearly paid off, and she manages to bring new life to the seemingly undead Wednesday whilst paying homage to the 1964 television series and the 1991 film versions of the character; Christina Ricci, who played Wednesday in the film, even returns as Nevermore Academy’s botanical science teacher Miss Thornhill. This version of Wednesday Addams is Latina like Ortega herself, finally correctly representing Wednesday, her brother Pugsley and particularly her father Gomez as the ‘Castilian madman’ Morticia described him as back in 1964. Ortega’s deadpan, unblinking portrayal of Wednesday is frankly just brilliant; her eyes are the only indication of what Wednesday is feeling. She is a stone cold

detective who is dedicated to uncovering the truth, never caring about what others may think about her.

Then Netflix gave her two wet blanket teenage boys for love interests.

Wednesday meets ‘pick-me’ boy psychic Xavier Thorpe and the human personification of a kicked puppy in local ‘normie’ and barista, Tyler. Throughout the series, both boys take turns sulking because Wednesday doesn’t return their attempts at affection; Tyler even criticises Wednesday for ‘sending him signs’ and then letting him down. This audacity that only a straight, white male could possess should have been unsurprising to me, but instead it boggled me. Wednesday comes to Nevermore with a strong sense of self but an insistence that she is meant to be alone. She speaks in monotone, doesn’t express her thoughts or emotions outwardly, and is more than happy to continue writing her novel and solving mysteries. If the boys want to help her with that, she begrudgingly agrees. But for some bizarre reason they expect romance in return when Wednesday never even hints at it. Wednesday struggles to make friends,

never mind boyfriends, and I really dislike that the writers shoehorned a romance plotline in there because it dismisses the character’s personal growth and all she stands for. Ortega agrees: “As far as the boys went, I had to accept it, I don’t think Wednesday would ever be in a love triangle. I don’t think it’s shown often enough, men and women having safe platonic relationships that don’t become romantic and are just genuine, almost sibling-like relationships.”

Now besides the two male love interests I didn’t realise were separate characters until episode four, Wednesday has often been shipped with her werewolf roommate, Enid Sinclair. Personally, I adore Enid as a character and it makes far more sense for Wednesday to date her because of the amount of trust, understanding and respect they have for each other. Both put themselves in harm’s way for one another, do things they are uncomfortable with for one another, and engage in physical

contact with one another.

There is no doubt that Wednesday loves Enid and cares very deeply for her, and becomes silently distraught when she hurts her. The promotional photos for the show really made it seem like it was going to be an opposites attract slow burner romance, and many of the cast including Ortega once again have expressed their hopes that Enid and Wednesday would date instead.

Now, Netflix seems to have it in for lesbians and cancel each and every show that they star in, so if Wenclair were to happen I’m not sure we’d ever get a season three. Though I really like the idea of them together, part of me wishes the writers had decided to lay off a romance plotline for the first season. Wednesday has a lot going on, and I think she deserved a chance to find herself before deciding whether or not she wanted to give a piece of herself to

someone else. The big kiss moment is rushed, there is no chemistry between the pair at all and it comes out of nowhere. Why couldn’t Wednesday have figured out the mystery another way? Why were her friendships made into something bigger? Why did Wednesday need a love interest?

The short answer is she didn’t, but in most television series the main character is written to fall in loveespecially if the protagonist is female. Everyone loves a bit of love, but in the case of Wednesday it belittled the progress she had made in learning to open up and make friends. Instead, what I have learned from the romance plotline in Wednesday is that boys never want to just be your friend. They will always expect something more from you in return for their attention, and everything they do has an ulterior motive. The show was meant to be jauntily macabre, but not like this! My hopes for season two are that Wednesday puts romance on the back burner for a while and develops her friendship with Enid, Bianca, Eugene, and strengthens her relationship with her family. I really like Ortega’s interpretation of Wednesday and hope she gets a bigger say in WWWD (What Would Wednesday Do?) next season.

I also hope that the writers Google the ace spectrum.

A Cannibalistic Take On Love

From the acclaimed director Luca Guadagino, Bones and All is based off of the novel by Camille DeAngelis and tells the story of two new lovers who road trip across America together. Their sweetly sick romance is haunted by only one tiny detail: they are both cannibals.

Maren (Taylor Russell) is an eighteen year old who is sheltered by an overprotective father, one who keeps a desperate lock on any information regarding her absent mother. As a headstrong and slightly rebellious teenager, she sneaks out of their house to attend a sleepover with the intent of making some new friends and finally establishing herself in the ever changing period of the 1980’s. While she gazes into the eyes of a newly acquainted friend and they ponder a host of thoughts together, she gets the urge to lean in and bite the girl’s finger off.

Deputy Entertainment editor, Chloe Barrett, discusses the recent star studded body horror that is certainly not for the faint of heart.

fleeing back vto her home, her father instinctively reaches the conclusion and ushers Maren out of the house, changing their surnames and location while somehow being oddly calm about the whole cannibal thing. The story picks up from there, and after her father leaves his daughter to fend for herself with a cassette tape explaining that she has eaten people as a child, and her birth certificate, she embarks on a road trip with the goal of finding her mother.

Along the way, her journey leads her to encountering another cannibal, Sully (Mark Rylance), a character who I personally think is one of the scariest antagonists who has appeared on screen in recent times. Sully teaches Maren how to successfully feed and how to smell other ‘eaters’ (cannibals), while being adequately creepy enough that she soon bolts, leaving him behind. The part of the movie that teenage girls have been anxiously waiting for happens soon after, and Maren bumps into Lee (Timotheé Chalamet) who agrees to help out with her sea rch after it is revealed that he too is an eater.

Their relationship takes up a large middle chunk of the movie, as their love for each other begins to blossom. While it is shrouded by the gruesome fate of being cannibals, there are tender moments that manage to break through while being backdropped with beautiful cinematography that makes the backend of America look dreamy. Lee takes it upon himself to show Maren how he lives his time as an eater, and the two inevitably learn quite a bit about each other. Lee dances to his favourite record in a charmingly goofy way while Maren fondly looks on, (inside the house of a person that Lee has freshly killed) and they ride around together in Lee’s old truck, making scenic pit stops that briefly makes the audience forget the bone chilling body-horror based plot line, which I think is where the movie really shines. Within their shared grisly world, the two manage to keep their love centred and somewhat innocent, as they bond over shared trauma and the mutual rejection that they receive from society and family alike. Even a simple date to a carnival, a normal outing for many, is an exhilarating experience as the two hold hands and make out on the Ferris wheel, forgetting their bloodthirst for a simple moment. Instead of rehashing a romance that everyone has seen before, Bones and All demonstrates the purity that love can bring while the world bleeds and shatters at every corner. The cannibalistic urge that plague them both is not a lifestyle either has chosen, but they decide to care for each other, finally making a choice of their own. Their love is constructed as a joint haven, the safe place where they can indulge the worst parts of themselves without anticipating the fearsome outcome.

If you have a strong stomach and want to be glued to the screen for an exhilarating two hours, check out Bones and All, which is now streaming. It is most definitely a unique take on the topic of modern love, but who knows, you might just find yourself rooting for two *fictional* cannibals.

For The Love of Mescal

Contributor Amy Ellen Bogue reviews Aftersun, starring Paul Mescal and written and directed by Charlotte Wells.

Aftersun is a heartfelt story about growing up and looking back on your childhood. This is not your typical coming of age film, but an intricate narrative woven between the past and the present. The story centres on eleven year-old Sophie, on holiday with her fresh-faced father Callum, and adult Sophie, who is reflecting on her childhood memories. The gorgeous scenery of the Portuguese coast makes this film a pleasure to watch, but do not be fooled. As the story progresses something sinister appears to lurk beneath the surface of this family holiday. Written and directed by Charlotte Wells, Aftersun beautifully captures the very human desire to understand our parents, as well as have our parents understand us. While she has worked on several short films, this is Wells’s feature debut, but you would never guess as much from watching this expertly crafted exploration of a father and daughter learning to understand each other.

I was lucky enough to attend the Irish debut of Aftersun in the ornate Everyman Theatre, as part of the Cork International Film Festival. The grandness of the theatre made the screening feel so much more important than a typical trip to the cinema. I felt I was experiencing something unique, though I was sharing it with a packed audience. The seats had sold out days before, and I knew that most of the people seated around me, myself included, had been drawn into the theatre by the charm and vulnerability of Maynooth born Paul Mescal. Rising to fame in 2020 with Normal People, Mescal is still relatively

new to the big screen, but the Irish always turn up for their own. And so the Everyman Theatre was full to the brim of those young and old for Aftersun. In the run up to the screening, I found it impossible to escape the talk of the films’ brilliance. Aftersun was nominated for three awards at the Cannes Film Festival and was the winner of the French Touch Prize of the Jury, a new award launched this year, as part of critics week. The film also cleaned up at the British Independent Film Awards, winning Best Cinematography, Best Editing, and Best Music Supervision.

In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, Wells revealed that the inspiration for the film came to her while she was looking through old photographs and was struck by how young her father looked. Paul Mescal may seem far too young to play a father, but his performance shows a refined maturity. It is simultaneously brimming with joy, and heartbreakingly somber. While surrounded by the glistening ocean, Callum turns to Sophie and says “I want you to know you can talk to me about anything, as you get older you know”. The sincerity and the desperation in his voice brought me to tears. Wells has written a complex father figure, one who is terrified of the responsibility of parenthood, but who also wants to look after his daughter the best he can. If you have been a fan of Mescal so far, you will find delight in this performance, and if you haven’t been a fan, I believe this film will come as a pleasant surprise. However, in my opinion it is the 12 year-old Frankie

Corio whose performance really steals the show.

Frankie Corio plays the young Sophie, Callum’s daughter. Like Wells, this is also her feature debut, and what a debut it is. I felt a connection to Corio from the very beginning. As her father checks them into their hotel at the beginning of their holiday I felt I knew exactly how Sophie was feeling. The exhaustion and anticipation that comes at the beginning of a holiday, waiting in the lobby, the inevitability of there being a problem with the room. I saw the world through her eyes and recognised it as my own. It is a credit to Corio’s performance and to Wells as both a writer and director that this feeling permeated the entire film. As Sophie sits in a toilet cubicle, eagerly eavesdropping on a conversation between two teenage girls, I felt

a warmth in my chest. I could not suppress my smile, I know this feeling of wanting to be older, of being a child and idolising teenagers. Hanging on to their every word just hoping to learn something about makeup, or sex, or boys. Aftersun tells the story of the desires of an 11 year-old girl, and these are complex desires. It is a reminder of all that it is to be a child and want to be older. To go on a family holiday and taste freedom, to be allowed to watch the evening entertainment without supervision, and to meet a boy you will never see again and for a moment feel like you understand everything that adults talk about.

As I left the Everyman Theatre that night, I spoke to a friend of mine about the film and she articulated exactly what I had been feeling. “I am Sophie,” she said. “Everything she was

feeling, I felt exactly the same when I was that age.” For me, this is the magic of the film. I understand I may be biased. After all, I have never been a father like Callum, but I have been an eleven year old girl just like Sophie. While I overheard a few complaints about the pacing, I found the steady pace gave you time to sit with the characters and their feelings. Aftersun does not rush you along to any conclusion, but carries you gently, like a boat on the water, right up to the final moments when it drops you suddenly into the depths. While attending CIFF this year I viewed several films, but if I could only recommend one, without a doubt it would be Aftersun. I wait with baited breath to see what Charlotte Wells will do next. Aftersun is in theatres now.

The Problems with Modern Love, Explained Through SZA’s SOS

Loving these days is complicated. In the world of modern dating, people are seen as almost disposable with a new hookup being just a swipe away. We live in a world of situationships and toxic relationships where we see people for a while, get bored and move onto the next. There are either too many labels or none at all. Yet we still long for connection. We still crave love, but nowadays it is harder to find than ever before. As a generation, we are struggling to love ourselves, let alone another person and SZA’s album SOS perfectly captures one of the major dilemmas around modern love, being hung up on an ex-partner, and the complex emotions that come with loving someone while not being whole yet yourself. The album starts with a bang. SOS is a declaration of SZA reclaiming what is rightfully hers: herself. It sets the scene for the emotional turmoil that SZA is about to describe over the course of the album. From giving way too much to knowing she deserves better to using sex as an escape from her pain, the sentiments of the

rest of the album can be described using this song. The muchloved track Kill Bill has topped charts all over the world. This chaotic ballad shows that SZA is here for revenge. The song perfectly juxtaposes her delusion that she is “mature” to the immature act of setting out to kill her ex and his new girl. Underneath all of the rage though is a fear that all of us have, the fear of being alone and how we would rather go to jail or hell than be alone.

All of her limits have been hit, including rampant cheating, low self-worth and the fear of being replaced, SZA is quite literally in pursuit of a trash can, a problem that many young women face these days. SZA has become emotionally dependent on this partner, not knowing who she is outside of the validation this man gives her. She has completely lost herself in the process of attaining this man and feels worthless without him. She has lost herself in this love and feels blinded by it. Each song represents a cycle of SZA trying to heal, yet going back to her old ways.

BANEEN TALPUR EXAMINES THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS OF MODERN LOVE IN SZA’S SOS.

She will do anything to understand this man. She wants him to talk to her in his “love language”. In the intimate Snooze she says she will “touch fire” for him. She will do it multiple times. She won’t even let herself sleep for the moments that they are together because any time with him is “too important”. The album explores many aspects of a toxic relationship, such as needing space while being addicted to love. The love is clearly unsustainable but the singer keeps returning to it.

Each track perfectly articulates how she feels. SZA is not asking for much; just to be loved. These are among the deep emotions captured in her songs like Nobody Gets Me, where she truly believes no one will understand her except him, or in Special where she feels so ordinary despite being a top charting artist all over the world.

Unfortunately, this is a kind of love that is all too common these days. Modern love is broken and in need of some repair. The amount of people that have resonated with the album and made it to number one in numerous countries proves that these emotions and patterns are not SZA’s alone. Millions of people - women especially - are stuck in such unhealthy relationships. While I absolutely love the album and will not hear any slander against it, I think that it’s sad to see that this is the most resonating experience of modern love for many women. Love needs to be saved. To love is a radical act, but we are losing sight of this. We're scared of real love. We run from commitment.

A lot of modern love habits are unhealthy and SOS accurately reflects a current crisis where we are not saying how we actually feel, are too afraid of love or lose ourselves in a connection which is actually a delusion, a reflection of a lack of love that we have for ourselves.

How Netflix’s Heartbreak High Shows Love For Us Outsiders

In September 2022, the remake of the hit Australian 1990s TV series Heartbreak High premiered on Netflix, and as a way of taking breaks to ease myself back into the swing of college work, I decided to watch it. Everybody who knows me knows that I am incredibly critical and picky with everything I devour from the media, but for the first time watching a series I laughed, cried, shouted at the screen, and kicked my legs giddily at romance scenes. Though Heartbreak High is set in Australia and there are always going to be cultural differences I felt as though everything I watched could be happening on my front doorstep with people my age. I cannot praise the creators and writers of the series

- Michael Jenkins, Hannah Carroll Chapman, and Ben Gannon - enough for taking the time to research and replicate what being a teenager is like in 2022. No awkward out of date slang, everything the actors did felt like something real teenagers would do, and the writers absolutely nailed the LGBTQ+ experience. For the first time in my life I watched something that mirrored my own experience with being queer without tragedy, without homophobia, or targetted acts of hatred. Heartbreak High tells queer stories that possess immense emotional depth, but the characters’ sexualities are never their defining trait or their defining storyline.

One character called Darren is nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns in the show, something his divorced parents struggle with, but they never dismiss their child’s identity nor try to talk them out of it. It’s honest and I can feel how hard they’re trying to connect with Darren and respect them, but Darren is quite stubborn at times and shuts themself off from people trying to interact with them. I loved how Darren’s gender identity never affected their relationship with their peers; all of the kids were well able to banter with one another without resorting to petty misgendering. Throughout the series Darren befriends the local ‘eshay’ Cash, who is incredibly quiet, introspective, and also very vulnerable. (Apparently Australian teenagers use Pig-Latin as slang! An ‘eshay’ is essentially what us Irish would call a lad who engages in petty crime and hangs around in gangs.) Cash lives with his grandmother and doesn’t want any part of the gang culture he’s been born into, and befriends Darren who works at the local fast food shop. Where Darren is loud, opinionated and afraid to trust, Cash is sensitive, caring and wants to take their relationship slow, something Darren has always hated. Cash realises he is on the ace spectrum, (where a person experiences little to no sexual desire or attraction) and Darren finds they cannot stop themself from loving Cash despite it. It’s a really emotional and important piece of television, because I had never seen asexuality represented on television until now. The pair fall in love despite their differences and preconceived notions about one another, and asexuality is

represented positively; it doesn’t mean you are ‘broken’ or ‘wrong,’ and you can still find companionship.

My favourite character Quinni touched my heart in a million different ways and healed parts of me I didn’t know were hurt. Quinni is Darren’s bubbly best friend - she is passionate, creative, and expresses herself through really fun makeup looks. She also is a total badass, she asks out the girl she likes without beating around the bush and is never afraid to question something or to vocalise her innate curiosity. Quinni is also very open about her autism, and even has a large chunk of an episode dedicated to how she builds her life around it. As a neurodivergent woman myself, seeing Quinni’s phone reminders to check in on her needs, her printed out daily routines, her use of ear defenders without any shame, and the pure, unadulterated happiness she gets out of engaging with her special interests; I bawled my eyes out. I had never seen such an accurate and honest depiction of autism in my life, and Quinni is such a joyful character who possesses talent, immense empathy for everyone and has such a strong sense of self. I had never realised until I watched Heartbreak High that I could be neurodivergent and so happy with my life. Like Quinni, I could maintain my childlike love for the things and people I adore, I could stim, express my emotions loudly, maintain my naive curiosity and still be respected as an intelligent and capable womanand not be infantilised.

Staff Writer Jessica Anne Rose reviews Heartbreak High. (WARNING: This article contains spoilers for Heartbreak High.)

Heartbreak High offers those often misrepresented or not represented at all the hope that we too can live a life where we are happy, we are fulfilled, and we belong. Since watching it I have felt so much more confident in expressing myself, and it taught me about how to support my non-binary and asexual friends that I am so proud of for unashamedly expressing their identities. Since arriving at UCC and turning twenty I have realised that the world is so much bigger than the weird popularity hierarchy we were engulfed in for six years at secondary school - and I wish I could’ve had this series then. Regardless, I am delighted to have it now, and as I continue on my literary journey of tryin`g to represent women like me in all forms of media, I keep Heartbreak High in my mind as inspiration. We can be represented, we can tell our own stories, and we can be the main characters.

Romance Books That Warmed My Cold Heart

Deputy Entertainment Editor Chloe Barrett shares a little list of romance books that will make you giggle while swinging your feet, or blush due to the steam.

Romance books have recently taken over the reading community, and are present on nearly every bookstore shelf. Trying to pick the perfect one can be tricky, as the choices can be overwhelming. Do you want enemies-to-lovers? Smut or closed door? However, fret not, as I am here to give you a few specialised recommendations after wading through thousands of romantic pages. Don’t worry, there will be no Colleen Hoover here.

each of their respective years. However, something occurred while they were holidaying in Croatia, and they have not spoken since. That was two years ago, and now Poppy wants her friend back, inviting him for a grand vacation finale. It is most definitely a slow burner, but the build-up is more than worth it. Taking you back in time to previous trips and how they became friends, Henry is one of the best writers in the romance genre to date, and she will not let you down.

Starting strong with an author who many think of as the newly crowned queen of the genre, Emily Henry’s books will not disappoint. While all of her adult romance books have the potential to be a five-star read, my personal favourite is People We Meet on Vacation. The book introduces you to Poppy and Alex, two unlikely best friends who met while they were in college. They started an annual tradition of taking a summer holiday together, which always ended up as the highlight of

Last year, I was introduced to the work of Casey McQuiston, and I have not looked back. Their books are filled to the brim with the most lovable and diverse characters, and due to their writing style revolving around characters, you will not forget them in a hurry. Red, White & Royal Blue focuses on the president of the United States’ son, as he slowly falls in love with the prince of England. Featuring a small enemies-to-lovers arc, a heartwarming plot about figuring out who you are, and

some focus on politics, there is something within this novel for everyone. Another novel written by McQuiston is, which stars a woman called August who meets Jane Su, a punk lesbian while riding the subway. August soon realises that Jane has been stuck on the train for fifty years, and is determined to help her out. Both of McQuiston’s novels are new adult fiction, so they do contain some steamy scenes.

Not many romance books comment on the scientific field, but Ali Hazelwood writes main characters who follow their brainiac ambitions. Especially with an emphasis on women in STEM, and how much more of a difficult time they have versus their male colleagues. Her most popular novel, The Love Hypothesis, was a bestseller and incredibly popular on all bookcentric social media due to the well crafted characters and the steamy scenes. It is based on Kylo and Rey fanfic but changed

enough that no Star Wars knowledge is required. If you want to dip your toes into her novels, she now has a book out with three of her novellas in one paperback. It is the perfect read if you are busy and want short little stories to delve into.

Anna K by Jenny Lee is a joyous book. It is based on the famous classic, Anna Karenina, but with a gossip girl twist. Set in New York among rich and classy teenagers, it examines class, race, and the hottest parties around. It

is a wonderful reimagining and incredibly entertaining, so thank me later. It is a mature young adult read, and has the potential to reach a wide audience.

What’s better than a romance book on its own? A romance thriller. Dial A for Aunties is a charming novel about Meddelin who accidentally murders her blind date, and is forced to call upon her mother and aunties for assistance. The date’s body is accidentally shipped to the wedding of the century, as

Meddelin’s family are working as the wedding planners for the event. If that wasn’t bad enough, an old flame from college is also present, and unresolved feelings swim into the mix. Jesse Q. Sutanto crafts a wonderful story that will have you falling in love with the Asian aunties, and their chaotic antics. Aspects of smut are replaced with murder elements so the novel does not get overcrowded.

Want even more suggestions? Here are some of my personal favourites: The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo; The Song of Achilles; It Happened One Summer; Twisted Love; and The Hating Game.

The Good, The Bad and The Bressie

Niall Breslin talks to Motley’s Ava Somers on music, modern love and Neoliberalism

Niall Breslin is one of the best-known Irish pop-culture icons of our generation. His careers in football, rugby and music, led to finally his latest feat, the realm of mental health. His “Where Is My Mind” podcast was a huge part of life in lockdown for many people, myself included, which includes interviews with people from all walks of life, giving their views on mental health and their experiences out in the world. Niall, or “Bressie” as he is better known, shall shortly be undergoing his PhD in Irish Psychiatric Institutions. Shortly before he received his Mutatio Factorum Award in UCC, I got to speak to Bressie about all things music, mental health, and how the modern world affects our relationships. I wanted to begin our interview with any advice he may have for young Irish musicians. He said that he felt it was important that musicians decide what it is that they are and stick to it; “It is important to understand that if you are a musician, you are a musician; not a content creator.” This certainly strikes a chord (no pun intended) with a lot of young musicians, on the constant treadmill of likes and comments and shares. While he praised TikTok, he said there was also an element of it which meant that record labels were asking that young musicians were essentially established content creators before they are even considered for a label. Instead, he implored the young musicians of Ireland to focus on their own craft. He implored to avoid the trap of creating what will sell, and instead stay true with their own voice, “So whatever rawness you have, whether you are a poet, songwriter, videographer, director: the thing that made you want to do it in the first place, hold onto that, hold onto that, and never lose sight of that because there will be people who utterly tell you anything else, like in music for example, you will be told you have to be a certain thing, to fit into a certain thing. Don’t do that. I did it once, and it was the worst thing I have ever done. I couldn’t sleep at night because of it so don’t do it.”

His second piece of music-related advice was that a young musician should attempt to get a good agent and agency – he said that this is vital if the musician wishes to push forward their career in music, they must have someone there to have their backs.

As a young creator, this resonated a lot with me, as often we are pushed into what is trending today, or what is doing well statistically, what is in the news, what is in the charts. This is frustrating as it is very difficult to squash your ideas and personality into these “trendy” structures, but we are made to feel that we need this in order to be successful.

Taking a look at Mr Breslin’s expertise and enthusiasm about the human psyche, I just had to ask him about his opinions on how social media and the modern world affects our relationships. As I personally believe that love takes many forms, and while we may act differently towards our significant others to our friends and our family, it is not because we love either any the less, it is simply because it is a different kind of love. Because of this, I made sure to ask him how the world we live in affected both romantic and platonic relationships.

Firstly, he referenced the work of a Professor named Ellis Ward, who speaks extensively about the Neo-Liberal Self, and how this Neoliberalism is now affecting the way we look at our relationships.

“We are now becoming like a marketplace together: everything is transactional. What can I get out of you? What is in this for me in this relationship? And that is not what relationships are about. They are about connection. They are the beating heart of your emotional wellbeing. So, if your relationships are transactional, they are not relationships. They are just a marketplace. That is something I have seen. And men and women now

looking for advice on how to be a man or how to be a woman on Tiktok or Twitter- understand what your values are. What do you stand for? Genuinely what do you stand for? What actually makes you tick? That is one thing I have noticed most in the past 20 years, people enter relationships with the hope that they will get something out of it, rather than the hope that they will connect with somebody. So that is what we have to look at. Dr Elis Ward calls the Neo-Liberal Self, and se wrote a book called The Self, and it is about how we are becoming marketplaces rather than being relationships and groups and societies and communities, we are becoming marketplaces and that is not where we want to be.”

Niall spoke about how this brand of Neoliberalism is leading to huge socioeconomic disparities in Ireland; people simply do not care for one another in the way in which we need to carry on as a community. Bressie spoke of how he has seen these disparities first-hand in the past year, when he has been working with people who may not be as privileged as most in Ireland. However, Bressie had an inspirational message for our Motley readers who may not be on the ‘Right Side’ of the socioeconomic gap:

“And it can be a superpower, and just because people believe that because you are from a certain background that you don’t have the capacity because that is utter nonsense. It is called equity, you know? Equity is the idea that everybody should be given the same

opportunities. Not everybody is going to be good at what they do, but they all deserve a shot. I often think that the people I work with in music, and all the mad things that I do, maybe it was the way I was raised, but it is the last thing that I think of.”

I really enjoyed my encounter with Niall, as he is so unbelievably knowledgeable on so many different topics. If I were to discuss in depth everything we spoke about, I think we would need a whole other issue dedicated especially to it! I found it particularly interesting when we were speaking about how social media has made us all entrepreneurs, where we are constantly performing #RandomActsOfKindness and making sure that the world knows how great we are, and how this is causing us to not see people and relationships as exactly that; but instead, we see them as opportunities.

People are people, not opportunities. Relationships are relationships, not for exploitation. So next time you feel the need to post your relationship status, update your profile picture, or envy other peoples’ online relationship with other people please take some time to consider this: Your relationship is yours, you do not need to post pictures online, change your relationship status, or tag your significant other to prove this to the outside world. That is Neoliberalism. Your relationship should not be about the car they drive, the clothes they wear, the course they are studying, the job they have; your relationship should be about finding a connection. We are the new generation; we have the power to stop this self-serving way of living.

And in some last words from Bressie: “That should motivate you in your work, you need to understand that you have the power to be the agents of change.”

Bressie received his Mutatio Factorem Award in UCC on November 21st, 2022.

Yes, Valentine’s Day is my Favourite Holiday

Deputy features and opinion editor Sarah O’Mahony explains how Valentine’s day is not just for the hitched.

Upon deciding that I was going to write this article I googled the title as I often do. Let me surprise you, it is a very popular hot take. There appears to be a large number of people out there who are mildly obsessed with Valentine’s day. What can I say? Love wins? Love conquers all? How about a day devoted to love is needed, especially given the current state of the world with the invasion of Ukraine, the climate crisis and so much more. From the history of Valentine’s day to self love in a less cringey light and forcing my friend’s to celebrate Valentine’s with me I’ll try to discuss different ideas to the ones I wrote about in my last love themed article. Mildly obsessed did you say?

Valentine’s day has a somewhat muddled story between the Ancient Romans, the Catholic Church, Shakespeare and Hallmark cards. Much like your situationship’s muddled interest in buying you chocolates. Its origins lie in the Christianisation of the violent Roman celebration Lupercalia. Since then the famous playwright Shakespeare romanticised the day and industrialisation introduced factory made cards into popular culture. Next time you pick up a Hallmark card you might look at it a bit differently.

Maybe you are not as supportive of the idea of Valentine’s day as me. All the same you can’t shy away from the benefits of self love when you feel the world around you is crumbling. Maybe you don’t really get the ‘treat yo’ self’ mantra of Tom and Donna in Parks and Recreations and you are looking for something a bit more logical. Audre Lorde first came up with the idea of self care as a radical idea where minorities would spend time looking after themselves in order to further their activist causes and prevent burnout. If you think that hopping in a bubble bath for a bit of self love on Valentine’s is a little silly maybe consider Lorde’s thinking. Lorde was a black lesbian mother battling cancer. Her book A Burst of Light contains many iconic quotes

where Lorde details looking after herself as well as engaging in activism. Self care comes in many shapes and sizes. Lorde’s version might suggest sitting out of a volunteering activity in the face of the detriment of your own health. Or simply creating time for a shower when you’ve spent the whole day running after your kids. Since Lorde’s book self care has separated quite a bit from its political origins. I was introduced to the phrase by Penney’s graphic t-shirts and micro influencers. Self care can be for small reasons such as buying yourself a takeaway on Valentine’s as a single person. Or it can follow Lorde’s thinking and help balance your time and support your rally against oppression. Silly and serious can live in harmony. All the same I’m glad I learnt about Lorde, she was one bad ass woman. I can’t imagine she would deny you your bubble bath when you’re feeling a bit down.

Now for my silly enjoyment of self care. It’s Valentine’s Day 2021, I’ve been talking about Valentine’s to my housemates for two weeks. Jane thinks it’s a bit weird but doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. I’m putting pink eyeshadow very generously on my eyelids. Inside the Franciscan Well even the bartender asks what the four of us are doing together on Valentine’s night while surrounded by couples. Next we hit the road to McDonalds. All I can say is it was a gas evening and I would do it all over again. There’s something about the 14th of February that freezes my inner pessimist, makes me giddy and up for making TikToks outside McDonalds in the cold. I am aware it’s a bit awkward to announce Valentine’s as your favourite holiday as a single person. Whatever your opinions, that night produced lots of laughs, comments from strangers and brilliant TikToks with my friends. What more could you ask for?

BLIND DATE

Recently Deputy Features Editor Sarah O'Mahony sent two UCC students on a blind date to Alchemy Coffee Shop, Barracks Street. 21 students applied and Ciara and Matthew were chosen and sent off to face the snow and to identify each other when things were kept a little too blind. Ciara is a 22 year old French and Art History student from Clare and Matthew is a 23 year old Digital Arts and Humanities student from Cork City.

What were you looking for from the date?

Matthew (M) Not sure. Just a fun chat, mostly.

Ciara (C) I just thought it would be something fun to do, and I had never gotten the opportunity to do anything like that before.

What was your first impression of them?

(M) Good. She seemed nice and bubbly off the bat

What did you talk about?

(M) Bit of everything. Cartoons, sitcoms, religion, drinking, nightclubs, the snow.

(C) He seemed so sweet, I was relieved that he wasn’t crazy or anything.

(C) We talked a lot about sitcoms and cartoons.

Cringiest moment of the date?

(M) Not realising we were both in the cafe at the same time. We were both sitting at opposite ends of the cafe with a pillar in between us so even though we were looking around we couldn’t see each other or have any way to know we were meant to be meeting each other.

(C) Probably not being able to find each other in the tiny cafe for 20 minutes because we didn’t know what the other looked like.

How long was the date?

(M) An hour and a half. (C)Probably around 1 and a half hours.

Did you guys go somewhere else after?

(M) Nope (C) No

Would you introduce them to your friends?

(M) Ah yeah, probably. She was sound and easy to get on with.

(C) Yes I would, he was really polite.

What do you think they thought of you?

(M) She seemed to like me, I guess. That being said, she did just seem generally very bubbly, outgoing and friendly so that might have just been that. But she didn’t seem horrified by me by any means. Or at least if she was, she hid it well.

(C) I honestly have no clue, he was kinda hard to read.

What do you think they thought of you?

(M) She was great for a sense of chat and really easy to talk to. I wanted to meet someone who I could chat and banter with and I did get that. But overall, I think we probably had different senses of humour and liked doing different things outside of a shared interest in certain shows

(C) He was a super nice guy, very work oriented and funny

One thing you had in common?

(M) TV Shows. We both liked a lot of the same cartoons and sitcoms.

(C) I would say we both like art and creative things.

Would you like to meet them again?

(M) Yeah, we made tentative plans to get a drink or two in the future but I’d probably only want to as a friend.

(C) Yes, why not. We got on really well, but I’m not sure if there was any romantic connection, there wasn’t that much flirting. I think it is kind of hard to judge because of the quiet cafe setting.

The Best Places for Modern Love On Campus

For the vast majority of us, UCC is the place we have to call home for several years. While that is something to be sad about, it is not without merit as a stage for finding someone to fill the lonely void that lurks within us all. But when it comes to love, timing and location are everything. The fluorescent light of the library and the frigid underground of the Boole aren’t going to cut it. You need something punchier, something with more of an edge, something that’ll put all those dicks from the rom-coms to shame. For that reason, I have done the hard work of collecting and sampling all of the best locales on campus for you and your modern love story. Whatever form that may take.

Nano Nagle Place

A place that isn't technically on campus but is definitely the best date spot on UCC Grounds. With lush flower gardens, a digital museum, and coffee that'drinkable, there are far worse places for romance to bloom than this elaborate monument dedicated to a dead nun. But when the date goes well, I must encourage you to keep your affair strictly PG. This is because the coffin of the aforementioned clergywoman is on public display and after a lifetime of Scooby-Doo movies, I have to assume that going anywhere past "First Base" in its presence is going to result in some form of biblical curse. That's something I imagine most of you don't consider firstdate fodder but on the off-chance you do, then call me. Cause that's hot.

A contributing writer explains how UCC can facilitate your love life, in more ways than one.

Devere Hall

That being said, if you are looking for somewhere more secluded to dance with the funky monkey, then might I suggest the balcony to Devere Hall. It's central, it's discrete and the several Student Centre employees I interviewed assured me that it's used exclusively for storing chairs and by SC employees who want an unsanctioned vape break. They went on to confirm that as long as you and your partner's twentytoe tango didn't leave marks, scrapes or stains they would be more than obliged to let Motley readers use their shag shack at the top of campus.

The Chaplaincy

Did you know this exists? I sure didn’t till I started researching and boy-howdy does UCC's very own non-denominational house of holiness offer a refreshing sense of variety. Fit with couches, blankets and radiators blasting so high that any prospective partner won't be able to tell if your face sweat is simply caused by your perpetual unease or an impending bout of heatstroke, the chaplaincy offers a great date spot.

The Western gateway Building

I'll be honest. There's no "good" place for it in the WGB. You and your partner will simply have to make do with its vapid corridors and over-lit hallways. But what you lose in privacy you will gain in Karma as public acts of love in the WGB constitute an educational service to its native community of sexless computer science students who won't know quite what they are looking at but nonetheless will be happy for the show.

Many of you may look around you at the architecture of UCC (both literal and metaphorical) and think it has all the romantic notions of a resentful cocker-spaniel, and you would be correct. However, with a bit of creativity, wit and a steep drop in standards, I hope you see that you too can make UCC your home for modern love.

Things Left Unsaid

Contributing Writer Seán

I couldn’t quite bring myself to say it. I thought I already had.

“I love you.”

The look from her eyes was enough to light the fires of an idle train. I wanted to run away.

“What?”

The air caught itself in my throat once more. Its walls were dry and unused.

“I love you.”

“Look, I don’t know what you’re trying to say to me Rua, but you’d probably want to figure it out at some point.”

I laughed, she always made me laugh. I tried something else.

“Can we go for a walk?”

“Sure, I’d love to.”

“When?”

“What about like this evening?”

A pause.

“I think I’m seeing Conor, we’re heading out once he finishes up work. What about tomorrow morning?”

Conor was the present boyfriend. I felt the light go out from under me. My skin was like chalk.

“Sure.”

“Okay great. Well it’s about time I run along anyways Rua, I’ll miss the bus.” And run along she did.

In my own way I was running along myself. That is, running along the canal for a silent place to nurse my nerves. It was an unusual condition. My hands shook uncontrollably, mind racing frantically, my stomach churned and curdled. I was like a dairy plant without patience, spilling my produce well before age. I think I threw up about three or four times. Nothing out of the ordinary.

All things considered I still crafted a victory out of the day. The movements of the fairing seagulls before me stirred like winds of change. I had actually attempted to tell her I loved her. Sure, it may have been a blistering failure, but an attempt nonetheless. That was something to take home.

A cold breeze swept through me.

A voice:

“Come on now Rua, you can do better than that.”

I couldn’t help but nearly jump into the river. See, I had this unusual habit of speaking aloud to myself. It was just a thing I had. My mother called me the tower of babble. If only she knew.

The voice spoke again.

“Up here.”

And up there he was, youthful as ever.

“Did you miss me?” Something in him had changed over the years, yet he never seems to grow.

“Safe to say I did Bar, not that I’d be one to admit it.” He had landed now to the rock beside me. He was a seagull.

“You just did Silly. Always a source of doubt. Now come on, what have you got in there?” I could feel my inside pocket shuffling under his beak. Bar was fond of oat crackers, I always carried a few wrapped in my inner pocket. I suppose it wasn’t something I noticed until much later, but it didn’t matter how long I kept them, they never went stale.

“Alright buddy, here you are, get it into you.” And so he did, to the envy of the creatures around him, who looked on in dismay.

As my friend laid into the oats I couldn’t help but feel this time things would be different, that a big change was afoot. It were as if maybe, for once in m“WOOOOH, take that you white feathered fiends.” Barry’s craw dripped cracker dust as he screeched to his analogous brethren. “AHA you don’t know anything about food, you scrounging scoundrels you…”

There was a momentary pause in his squawking.

“Barry…”

“You haven’t seen anything yet you airborne rats you. YOU’LL SEE… I’LL BE AS BIG AND BRAWNY AS ANY OF YOU SOON… THEN WHAT WILL YO-“

“BARRY!”

My friend had returned again to his senses, and also to my side.

“Sorry sorry, Rua. Got a little out of beak there. You don’t know what it’s like. Those big wings up there, they treat me like I can’t fly. No offense.”

He seemed to flutter himself as he said this.

“None taken. What brings you back?”

If black eyes rolled in their sockets, they did.

“Oh come on. THE GIRL you big silly. What was that back there? You totally choked up. It was like you had a cracker in your throat. Speaking of…’ His taut voice fletched as an arrow.

“Have any more?”

“Sorry Bar.” I flushed my pockets. “All out.”

“That’s fine buddy, you know how I am. Anyways yes, THE GIRL. You need to tell her how you feel, I know you can do it.” In his excitement Barry would glide a little in the air, this was one such moment.

“What’s it matter if I do exactly? She has a boyfriend.”

“Oh hush feather fingers. You’re twice the man he is, and he’s a third the man you are. I guess that means you’re three t- No it doesn’t matter. Point is, if she can’t see you for what you are, she isn’t right for you as is.”

I sort of let the words hang in the air for a minute. I had heard this sort of thing many times before, but in the mouths of others the words were always confused and strange. Somehow from Bar they made a little more sense. What use was it exactly pining endlessly after someone who didn’t want you in the same

way you wanted them. I thought these words aloud, and I thought I understood them even a little more.

I woke up the following morning with a new found confidence. My hands shook just a little less, my stomach was settled, and my heart was ready to say what it knew it had to. And with two great gulps I swallowed my orange juice and was out the door.

“Be back by one pet!”

“Yes, ma.”

I followed the street onwards down by the park. Winter had firmly taken its hold of the place. Ice had coated the grass in its glassy substance. The air had that sharp texture to it, so particular to this season. And my hands had turned red scarlet; fingernails like white islands in its sea. It wasn’t long before I saw her, idle beneath the park gates.

“Rua!” She gave me a hug.

“Hey Sally. Good to see you again.” Already I was treading on verbally unsound territory.

“Let’s pop down by the fountain.”

She gave me a questioning look. Perhaps ordinarily she would quiz such a suggestion, but there was something in the way I spoke that led her to follow. It wasn’t long before we reached where we were going, and I thought I heard a slight fluttering of wings from above.

I had decided that this was the spot. Something about moving water, frozen in mid air, spoke to me. It seemed to say something I had never the courage to say myself.

And here, slow in this land of stillness, I heaved the words from my chest:

“I love you.”

And I did.

IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S MY ATTACHMENT STYLE

FEATURES AND OPINION EDITOR ÉDITH DE FAOITE BREAKS DOWN HOW ATTACHMENT THEORY CAN BE A USEFUL TOOL IN SORTING YOU OUT.

understand the concept. The resulting research floored me and I felt very seen when I did a Buzzfeed style quiz that let me know that I have an avoidant attachment style.

Attachment Theory is the culmination of the work done by two psychologists: John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth.

and others and who are able to sustain long and meaningful relationships, in their romantic relationships and in their platonic ones. People with a secure attachment style are trusting in relationships. They believe that the other person will always treat them well and they don’t doubt their interest in them. These people have generally had healthy relationships during their childhood and into their adult life, which means they are able to replicate that when they enter into relationships as adults. God, I wish it were me.

The other three attachment styles all fall under the umbrella of being ‘insecure’ attachment styles. People with an anxious attachment style tend to have a negative view of themselves and think of themselves as lesser than the other party in the relationship. These people

Their work looked at the effect that childhood relationships have later in life. The work of both researchers examined the relationships between infants and their primary caregivers. As infants, we are evolutionarily programmed to form an attachment to our primary parental figure in order to stay alive. The way in which our

tend to over-analyze the other person’s behaviour in an effort to gauge how they’re feeling. People with an anxious attachment style are often very perceptive as they are constantly worried that others will treat them badly. They monitor other people’s behaviour so they can alter their own behaviour if they sense a change in mood. Generally, these people tend to place the blame on themselves when there are problems in the relationship and they need constant reassurance that the other person cares for them and likes them. Being abandoned is a constant worry and, because of this, they can become overly clingy and desperate, which can cause issues for the other person in the relationship. This attachment style stems from a childhood where the primary caregiver was inconsistent in their ability

A friend recently described me as “skittish” when it comes to my romantic endeavours. An unsurprising statement if you know me. This unwelcome commentary on

my relationships (or lack thereof) urged me to look into the theory of attachment styles. Although I had heard of them before, I had never taken the time to fully break down and

primary caregivers treated us when we were children impacts the way in which we view and act in relationships in our adult life. There are 4 attachment styles: secure (that’s the one we all want), anxious, disorganised and avoidant. People with a secure attachment style are boring, unexciting losers who have a positive attitude towards both themself

to fulfil the child’s needs. The lack of reliability of the parental figure leaves the child with a sense of anxiety regarding the relationship, which follows them into their adult relationships.

Disorganised (or fearful) attachment presents itself as a fear of intimacy and close relationships. As the name suggests, people with a disorganised attachment style have an unpredictable behaviour pattern in their relationships. This is because they believe that their partner is inherently unpredictable and they cannot trust them and they rarely feel safe or secure in the relationship. This attachment style is often a result of a traumatic or abusive upbringing, where the person had to rely on someone that they often feared. This leaves the person with a looming sense that they will be hurt

or abandoned. As a result, people with a disorganised attachment style often have short and unstable relationships that end abruptly. They may also end up in adult relationships that mirror the traumatic or abusive relationships from their childhood as that is all they know. These people struggle in relationships as they can act volatile and erratic due to their past experiences.

Finally, avoidant attached people (it’s me, hi) generally avoid entering into relationships. These are the people that are often called, in my experience, “fiercely independent”. In relationships they tend to push the other person away. In my case, it also means running a mile in the other direction when a person expresses an interest in getting to know you. There is also the common

theme of avoidant attached people acting apathetic and disinterested in others when they attempt to reach out. Oftentimes, being faced with emotions and feelings can be the catalyst for this, as the avoidant attached person fears their emotions and the ramifications of them. They (we) use what are called ‘deactivating strategies’ in order to distance themselves from the other person. These strategies can manifest in many different ways. For example, they may focus on the other person’s flaws in order to justify not getting close to them. They may also pursue relationships they know are not going to work out. So if you only pursue Darren from down the road who has the emotional intelligence of a microwave, you may have an avoidant attachment style.

It can be helpful to establish which group you fall into, as you can identify the ways in which your attachment style affects your behaviour, both when pursuing someone, and while in a relationship. It can also be of use to identify the attachment style of the other person in the relationship. For example, people with an avoidant attachment style and people with an anxious attachment style may struggle in a relationship as the anxious attached person will get clingier when faced with uncertainty, whereas the avoidant attached person will pull away and become more distant when this happens. However, like with most things, if you identify your attachment style, you can notice the patterns and behaviours you exhibit when faced with these emotions and work on them. Maybe hope is not lost for us yet.

The Ghost POETRY

No one can hear me, As I walk past your door, My evening shadow

On the pavement

Is as silent as my footsteps.

A whisper in the wind floats past your ear, As I draw near, I swear our fingers touch, This time I swear.

You turn your head, And I know you've felt Me. However briefly. You try to apologise. Your eyes sweep past me, Through me, Before you shrug, and turn away. A single drop in your ocean Is all I'll ever be. It's not your fault, You never notice me.

I pass through people's lives, Present in the shadows and Gone without notice.

I am not someone remarkable, But remarkably invisible. You would not be any worse, Or better off, If I just ceased to exist.

Can you see me? As I fade away to ashes. Can you feel me?

As I am dragged into the void. Can you hear me?

As my last breath

Screams the sound of your name. For I was always yours, But you were never mine.

AVA PALMER

JESSICA ANNE ROSE i concede POETRY

i take it all back your kiss drew more than gasps from me pulled trauma from places i had forgotten smiled tearfully and held me where i was cold let little me know it is finally time to go

i couldn’t know how it would feel you lured me out into the warmth kindling my hope with only your eyes palm to palm is holy palmers’ kiss in that moment i rejected such a notion as sin

how could i have known you held me as though i might break! shatter in your ring adorned hands rested our heads together in the sea of fervour and i, building the courage to touch your cheek

here is my heart, it has no box be merciful and bite your lip once more let in what you now have let out and grant me a moment of yours again so i might have something new to replay

i embrace my own naïvety let’s skip this dance of counted breaths both afraid of each other’s depth take my heart and forge its key and never give it back to me

Reevaluating Modern Love

Dear, me from the past,

When you think of romance and true love, what do you see?

Is it the devotion of Shakespeare's sonnets?

Is it that bouquet of flowers?

Is it that twinkle in their eyes that only love could make shine so bright? Or…

Do you snort at the thought?

Do you see the scar of the sharp burn of betrayal?

Are you reminded of bruises, of the draining of any energy for love that you once had? The confusing texts, the change in attitude when with friends, the lack of you on their feed…

I think it's about time we reevaluate what true love looks like in the modern world. The modern world is one of great progression, it's a world where a feminine shaved head does not mean a butch lesbian, a man no longer loses his masculinity when he cries. But, with all these societal changes comes negative equals.

We as a generation are always told how much easier life has grown to be compared to the ones before us. There is no denying that. Although I do believe that we have our own equal amount of issues to face.

As the slow process of courtship fades into a concept only seen in old tales, in comes the simplicity of sliding into DMs.

It is in this easiness that I believe we have lost track of what the truest forms of love can, and should, look like.

Please don't doubt, I am not saying that an imperfect love is not genuine, but rather, that a disingenuous love is far from perfect and you must not feel obligated to persevere and "push through it” in hopes that they will change. Simply put, as your friend, I'm telling you to cut out that bullshit.

Being told that they want to keep the relationship a secret? Cut that out.

Being told that you expressing how they make you feel is being dramatic? Nuh uh. Having to watch them openly interacting with explicit posts on instagram where everyone can see, and being told that you are invading their privacy? Bye. See you never.

Or even, "You know I love you, I want to spend my life with you... but, you aren't attractive, so, I need to be allowed to see other people too so that I can be happy with you. Our relationship isn't like anyone else's, we're different, we're just so in love"? We don't have time for any of that gaslighting.

Those are all common examples of abuse and definitely not love. In place of being called "crazy“, there should be a "beautiful" or "inspirational". Instead of being told to be grateful, you should be told that it is impossible to fully express how valuable you are to them.

Even in the middle of tough times you should feel that no matter what happens you can trust them to be mindful of both their own feelings and also of yours.

Yes, at times you may overreact to something, you're human, that doesn't make you crazy. Yes, at times you may disagree on something but that does not mean you should flinch when they reach for the remote. Yes, they might not understand why you don't want to see them interacting with certain posts, but they should respect you enough to try to.

With all the acceptance that has come with a new generation, it can feel like we believe that we must be more complacent in scenarios that we are faced with. To have nothing but good chill vibes. But we must tell that complacency to shut the hell up. That is not love. This is the modern-day, where we can stand up and tell them to cut that shit out!

Love, Future me

P.S. Karma finds them don’t worry.

A contributing writer shares a letter to their past self and shares what they wish they had known then.

Upcycling your failed ‘Situationship’ hoodies.

Written by Lauren McCourt

When May hits you gather round the fire pit to write the ‘Hot Girl Summer’ rules list. “Facetime someone before you shower, 5 points”, “go out on a date, 10 points” and there, making its way to the very top, “hookup with five people in a club, 20 points” scratched carelessly in a slightly faded red pen. At first it’s daunting, but competitive as you are, five people is only four more than last time and you’re slowly seeing yourself become the most extraverted version of you.

Then July rolls around and Voodoo opens the gates to its fiery pit and the burning love quest commences in the heat of fading moments. Like a moth to a flame, you cling to the guy with curly hair and the girl with the dancing gaze as the hours clock into a single wink. ‘Honey’ blasts its crying melody through your dewy skin, and the lyric ‘we haven’t talked in months, fun just isn’t fun’ forces you to take the hand of the guy who reminds you of the mouse from Cinderella. There you are, the princess of‘Oliver Plunkett Street being swept off your feet to a room without blinds, a bin or a sufficient lock. Reality hits and his “Please stay the night” becomes ghastly as you rummage through the empty Lynx Africa bottles to find your shoes, only to stumble across an array of used vapes and lone Adidas socks. Before you unleash yourself to the lurking roommates out front, he hands you something rather unfamiliar with a fierce Dior Sauvage aftershave stench. “Take this” he says; This being a plain black hoodie with a toothpaste stain trickling down the front. “Thanks, I’ll give it back

next time I see you”. But you don’t. You never see him again.

As the fragility of summer closes its door on you, you sit alone in the silence of failed situationships and a torn sheet of inky rules dripping into the accommodation hollows. All you are left with is the pounding regrets of ‘what if I did say yes to staying the night’ and the pool of oversized hoodies, hats and t-shirts that still smell like them. The unnamed clothing pieces gather dust as you refuse to wear them as the nights darken and the cold air makes your humanising breathe all the more alive.

Regardless of the season, these clothing pieces can be worn and should be worn. A reminder of love and comfort, there’s something about wearing a hoodie that’s not yours that just hits the spot. Tarnished and stained, the future of fashion lies within the leftovers from the people you still insist you never obsessed over. I know that turning to ‘WikiHow’ may only further restrict yourself on this journey into upcycling, so I have created your very own fool-proof guide to upcycling your failed situationship hoodies (and

everything in between).

Step 1: Come to terms with the fact it’s yours for the keeping. It’s time to stop passively waiting for them to ‘snap’ you back so you can initiate your plan of:

a) washing the hoodie when you go home on Friday, followed by b) drowning it in your favourite, most expensive Victoria Secret perfume and c) romanticising the moment of handing it back with the line ‘sorry I know it

smells so bad’, hoping they’ll fall asleep with it before keeping it in a shrine dedicated to you. Instead, romanticise the keeping of it where you possess all the power over its destiny. After all, it does look better on you. But it’s hard, and self compassion goes a long way. It’s a difficult transition to accept your lover is no longer with you and you must hold onto the emotional encasement of their scent. It may feel like a drug in a dresser, but it is also a crucial step in

moving forward.

Step 2: Accept that it’s kind of ugly. When you check the tag there’s one of three options waiting for you; A faded ‘H&M’ label, a branded ‘ASOS’ print, or a stamped ‘Boohoo Man’ on the collar when they tried to replicate the ‘Love Island’ look (emphasis on tried). You may be tired of the basic fashion sense of virtually all of your hookups, but these pieces too are tired of being scrunched up in the drawer unknowingly titled ‘ALL THE THINGS TOO UGLY TO WEAR IN PUBLIC ’. Truth is, that’s just another excuse in desperation to fit in. Upcycling comes in many forms; repurposed as pyjamas, an effortless ‘just popping down to Centra for a chicken roll’ look, or even a ‘posttanning routine cover up that’s already filthy enough to further stain’, these statements are just as valid in the world of fashion. Perhaps not suitable for a dreaded college presentation, or a prinks gathering, these pieces are just as capable of paving their way into your

keep pile. So don’t shame them.

Step 3: Wash it. Just like all the controversy around bra washing, it remains unknown when the last time this piece of clothing was washed. As you too require a steamy shower after a rough night in the city, it may also need a little bit of TLC. We’re all deserving of love. Once your very understandable few nights of obsessively sniffing the collar are over and their scent dissolves into the void of nothingness, you know the time has come. Washing the clothes is not erasing the comfort and joy attached to it, it is simply a means of giving the hoodie or T-shirt new life. With a quick wash on eco-mode, that patchy graphic Tee and woodfire scented cap can become staple pieces for your quickly approaching next adventure. Combined with a neat pair of tracksuit pants or trousers, you’ve got yourself a new and improved Airport Fit that’s both cosy and fashionable (with the added bonus of smelling fresh).

Step 4: Embrace the unique touches you’ve given it. Once the piece has made it out of the washing machine and into

your wardrobe, it has become a blank canvas for you to paint (maybe in the literal sense if you’re talented enough). The custody battle has been won and you have proven your deserved rights over this hoodie. Leave space for your fashionable mind to give it new meaning and new purposes, from a baggy fit to a neatly tucked grunge look. With the brave addition of layers, jewellery and accessories, you should be proud of the fashion statement you’ve created. Whatever the shape, colour or style, there’s plenty of upgrading ready for exploration. And lastly, if it’s a white t-shirt, make sure to write ‘This is not my ex’s shirt’ on the back for a ‘White Lies’ themed house party.

Just like all of humanity, the hoodie can never truly forget where it came from. Truth is, we must always remember our roots to stay true to ourselves. However, in a world of ever growing fast fashion and the looming fear of ‘what if someone else wears the same thing as me’, it’s time to open our eyes, minds and drawers to the hidden gems we have buried within our own shelves. It’s 2023; the year of self growth and unique fashion sense. Whether you are post breakup, on the brink of calling a ‘friends with benefits’ quits, or just a notorious situationship hoodie collector, it’s your time to shine. Learn to be your own leader and embrace these cosy critters you possess. And if you see them on campus or in the queue for Hidden Attic as you proudly wear your upcycled piece, I’d suggest not approaching them. They’ll only want it back.

Baneen:

Do you see fashion as a way to affirm your love of yourself or more as a commodity? Both, I have to wear professional clothing because of my job but I view fashion as a huge form of expression of self love. I have a thing where I try to match my lipstick with my outfit and I feel so much more confident when I do that and even with my identity and culture, I love wearing Pakistani clothes. They are vibrant and help me to connect with that side of me.

Rosie:

Have you received or given a gift that was particularly memorable? Fallen in love with an item you just needed to get? I love wearing clothes that were given to me by people I love. Most of my wardrobe is actually made up of things that were passed on to me by my friends and family members who either thought I might like the item or decided they didn’t want it anymore. It’s a really nice way to give the clothing a new life and feel connected to those who gifted it to you.

Ciara:

What is your relationship to self love?

My relationship with myself hasn’t always been easy because I’ve always tied it to appearances and superficial things, but lately I’ve been trying harder to relate my feelings about myself to my interests and what I can do for myself and for other people. I’ve started taking self-love to mean how I feel when I do things I enjoy, or when I do something for others and I get to see that make them happy. Self love to me really just means doing things for myself that I enjoy, rather than worrying about how I look or what I do and how others perceive that.

Lauren:

What is your main love language?

I actually did do a quiz, I'm such a nerd. I love doing quizzes like ‘What Kind of Bread am I’. So I did a quiz on love languages and my top ones are acts of service and gift giving. I think that is very true to me, not that I love gifts but what I love is someone not being with me and seeing something and thinking of me. I've gotten gifts from friends like some of the stuff I’m wearing now, like this bracelet my friend handmade me, this other one a friend gave me and the earrings I got as a birthday present. When someone just sees that and goes “oh Lauren would like that” or “that's something she would wear” I love that. Acts of service is very similar like “oh she looks cold let me get her a hot chocolate” that is just love to me because you're putting someone else first.

Samira & Konrad:

How would you describe your relationship?

Samira:

We have such a good relationship. Even though we are two different people it works together. We are always learning new things from each other, we have new experiences together and we have similarities that really compliment each other so it's a great dynamic

Konrad:

It's mainly because we’re from two different cultures. Traditionally you wouldn't see couples from opposing cultures together. We can learn from each other and we can grow together. It’s beautiful in that way.`