LUCKY DIP

Lucky Dip is the longest running segment in CANTA. Each issue, we set two people up on a blind date and they record their experiences. These anecdotes are as they come; unedited.

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dipper one

It’s a sunny day, there are good vibes in the air, and I’m about to go to my Lucky Dip date. What could go wrong?

I was very excited for my first date in over a year, especially because it was going to be with someone totally random, and set up by another person that I also do not know. I’m one of life’s gamblers I guess.

I arrived for my date and she was already there. I smiled and walked up to her, wondering if her eyes were already piercing my soul or if it was just nerves. Turns out it could have been either. Because she was not here to fuck around.

She was probably really cool, but I couldn’t relax in front of her at all. I felt like a little kid being called to the principal’s office. She looked constantly disappointed at me. I pushed through and we made plenty of conversation. We had some interests in common, but for whatever the interest was, she was more knowledgeable or better skilled. Which just lead her to being even more disappointed in me. Trapped in a neverending cycle of disappointment.

While we ate our food (which I think she was also disappointed with) I came to terms with the fact this date was a bit of an anticlimax. She clearly did not like me, and I was a bit scared of her. But I was determined to finish this date on a high note.

So I asked her if she likes jokes. Upon hearing she does, I rattle off the best joke I know. 8 jokes later, I’m out of material and I’ve not had a single laugh.

She then gets up, thanks me for the “interesting” date, and walks off.

offical restaurant of lucky dip

Dipper two

I must preface my discussion with this: I don’t mean to come across as acerbic, but honestly, I’ve been on enough dates to give no shits.

A couple of things make a first date go well, in my most humble opinion.

1. Food and drink are essential – it doesn’t matter necessarily if it is good or bad. If it’s good, there is less taking because you’re concentrated on the task of filling your face. If it’s bad, you fill the time with mutually complaining.

2. The company is the most vital element. They must, and I mean, MUST be able to hold their own in a conversation. If they can’t, sorry, it’s the door for you.

I can say, thankfully, one of these elements was present at the date concerned. I’ll let you work it out as you read on. He was sweet and took the time to be interested in my interests, which got the ball rolling with the conversation. I feel a few things that I talked about went over his head a wee bit – if you don’t know much about Philosophy, honestly, don’t pretend you do when talking to a Philosophy and Classics major.

He was a pretty funny guy, actually, quite a nice feature in a person. Even if I didn’t find his quips and jokes funny most of the time, attempting to make someone laugh is an admirable quality in anyone.

Despite this, there wasn’t chemistry, and I just didn’t feel like we were a match. We weren’t intellectual matches, maybe physically compatible, but it wasn’t willing to go there.

I thank him for stepping out there and going on a date; it’s tough.

Anyway, if you haven’t already guessed what element was present, it was the food. The food was good.

TIME CAPSULE ISSUE 14 JULY 20, 1993