POWER TRIP

By Emily Heyward (she/her)

I have never worked in Human Resources. I know hardly anything about the profession. The only knowledge I have comes from shit-chat that I have seen on the internet. But I’m not going to let that stop me from comparing the department to inanimate objects. Why? Because I can. Men: take note. This is what you sound like when you’re mansplaining.

To my first object. The fridge. Everybody loves you when you’ve got something they want. When you’re full to the brim, the people just can’t get enough of you. Morning tea up for grabs? Yes please. Is that the smell of sweet, company purchased Sauvignon Blanc waking me from my Friday afternoon slumber? You know it. Damn, you sure know how to boost morale from the inside out.

Number two. The freezer. Look, we get it. Sometimes shit hits the fan. Josh hasn’t shown up for work in weeks, Carla’s turned up for work in an Oodie again, and Johnny, well, who the fuck knows about Johnny. You’re a bit over it at the moment, and everyone can tell. I think we’ll wait for you to cool down a bit before mentioning that the new employee you just hired is busy writing his letter of resignation.

Number three. A faulty fire alarm. Because sometimes you can be a bit like that screeching fire alarm that’s hellbent on reminding everyone about the importance of positivity while dumping stacks of paperwork on our desks. Irritating.

Four. An iPhone. You’re the encyclopaedia of the workplace. You know everything about the new employee down to the name of their uncle’s ex-girlfriend’s cat because you’ve spent the last 5 hours stalking them on every social media platform you can think of. You know what time everyone starts work, and you sure as hell know when they are 10 minutes late. You’re basically Google.

Number five. A tissue box. Because sometimes we’ve just got to cry to someone. And you’re a human resource, after all. Number six. The kettle. You’re in hot demand. From hiring new staff to getting rid of old ones, you’ve always got something bubbling away. Move over coffee; I want the tea.

And last but not least; a fork. Because what the fork do you actually do?

All love, no hate. CANTA respects all HR departments.

By Lily Murfin (she/her)

I know the time has not come for many of you to foray into the formal and oftentimes confusing world that is workwear. But you probably know what I’m on about when I say, “power suit”. Take yourself back to the 1980s, picture a power suit, complete with double-breasted buttons, enormous lapels, and the obligatory shoulder pads. This would probably seem a bit extreme for many offices, but don’t you sometimes just fantasise about having an extensive collection of pastel or tweed two pieces to choose from? No! Just me, then? Okay, then – my mission today is to make sure you appreciate workwear and how we ended up where we are today.

100 years ago, some women did work. But, of course, in significantly lower numbers than those that work today. But this group of working women were predominantly from the lower classes. During this time, women, particularly mothers, working outside of the home was typically only done out of need. Might I remind you that women still weren’t acceptably allowed to wear pants? Therefore they carried out many manual labour jobs with long skirts on. This would absolutely not be my cup of tea, especially when you consider how impractical and dangerous many of the jobs women held would have been in loose, billowy clothes.

World War Two was a major period for getting women the ability to work. With men being drafted and sent to war, it became necessary for large numbers of women to fill the gaps take in the workforce. During this time, women adopted pants and overalls en masse due to them being an option more conducive to manual labour. This is where the utility suit came into play. A utility suit was typically made of a sturdy fabric like tweed or wool – it was essentially a scaled-down men’s coat with a pleated skirt. The need for this sort of practical dressing was due to necessity as fabric was a scarce resource, so women needed to be able to wear the same thing for multiple purposes. Although many women remained working after World War Two, it was still not the norm. Women started entering the workplace once it became socially acceptable to do so, and workwear adapted as the role of women in society changed.

The 1960s and 1970s saw second-wave feminism sweep across the world. This movement questioned the ongoing inequalities women faced, particularly in disparities of pay and work opportunities. During these decades, more and more women were going onto higher education, and major universities like Yale allowed women to enrol as freshmen undergraduates for the first time. This later provided the possibility for high-level positions to be occupied by women for the first time en masse. Although there are immeasurable benefits to gender equality because of these societal changes, we can also say that this was one of the elements that gave us corporate fashion. Because let’s be real, there’s only so many ways they could jazz up men’s suits back in the day.

The 1980s was the golden era of the true power suit. The power suit came about because women needed a commanding silhouette from their clothing. These suits, in many ways, diminish natural femininity. The broad shoulders imitate men’s suits, but given that they were typically paired with skirts, they still have feminine touches. The introduction of sneakers as popular streetwear allowed for a bit more comfort than travelling to work in heels. The sneaker with work suit look was immortalised by the character Elaine in Seinfeld. For maximalist workwear inspiration, look no further than the aptly titled 1988 film Working Girl. This movie has so many iconic outfits, hairstyles, and makeup looks.

Crafting a wardrobe to exude both comfort and power in the workplace shouldn’t be a necessity for women to be taken seriously. But, when you pick what you wear to work, oftentimes it’s not really a choice. So let us all band together and start petitioning for the power suit to be a normal occurrence in 2021.

Liam Stretch rates the best fidget things found within 2 metres of his desk in the CANTA Office.

1. A sticky ball of well used Blu Tack.

Blue Tack is perhaps one of the most amazing achievements of humankind. It can cement things to a wall yet be pulled away with such ease. It also makes a solid contender for the top office fidget device. Its pliable nature makes it a restless hand’s best friend. You can roll it, shape it, stretch it, and squish it – so many options. In fact, as I’m writing this, I am simultaneously playing with a disturbingly sticky piece of the blue clay.

5/5 paperclips 2. A washer I found on the floor.

This one is great and comes in at second as a fantastic alternative to twiddle with. It is small enough to fit between two fingers and large enough to be stimulating. An added bonus of its round shape is its ability to spin. It can also be combined with the Blu Tack to make a sculptural work.

3/5 paperclips 3. An institution-issued stress ball.

This red foam sphere, given to me by the University of Canterbury promo people, has been so well used that its branding has rubbed off. Though satisfying, it fails in the practicality department, as, due to its size, it does not allow for multitasking. It does introduce a more game-like element, however. One can find various hoop-like vessels around the office to become an office-bound Steph Curry.

2.5/5 paperclips

4. My Gen Z bracelet.

The benefits of this are that it makes me look half a per cent cooler than I actually am – which, if you are unsure, is very, very cool. This one offers diverse fidgeting options. The elastic combined with the beads makes it one of the more enjoyable options on this list. Plus, when you’re playing with it, and someone walks into the office, they can immediately admire your fantastic sense of style.

4/5 paperclips 5. My lip balm.

Not so much a fidget device, more a literal obsession. I don’t go anywhere without it, and my lips are, at all times, lacquered up. It offers a quick distraction from the mundane and is applied every 5 to 10 minutes.

5/5 paperclips. I would not function without it.

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