The True ‘Best Friends Forever’ Story and Photos by Sarah Correa-Dibar
is too,” said McZeal. “Being a teenager is a very volatile time. Everyone’s figuring out what they like or not, what they want to be.”
Friendship bracelets, friendship charms, best friend clubs, after-school play dates, having an anthem for your friend group and always dressing the same on Twin Day during spirit week at school. The majority of people always have had a support group to lean on, ever since they were toddlers and moms forced their kids to be friends with each other. Because friendships have always been coming in and out of everyone's lives, not many people realize that we need friendships and with that, a sense of social life to lead a healthy lifestyle. As society developed, so did social classes. Family names were deemed more important than others; royalty, aristocracy and bureaucracy were a test of how important you are, and above all, it was socially unacceptable to be seen with people of another social standing. You might not be arrested for it, but you would definitely be shunned by your family, said Corey McZeal, a sociology professor at the University of Florida. All of the classic movies and books demonstrate this divide — “Little Women,” “Pride and Prejudice,” “Titanic,” “The Great Gatsby,” “The Notebook” and “Marie Antoinette.” It’s important to know the two aspects of friendships throughout the years: how people perceive friendships during their lifetime and how friendships have changed throughout humankind’s history. 22 The Origins Is sue
Friendships as People Age In elementary school, friendships developed between the ones who were always going to the same after-school activities, or the kids who were in the same class every single year. Maybe even the kids who were always seated together because their last names started with the same letter. There were also the kids who became friends because they were the only ones who were the same age and forced to sit at the kiddy table at dinner parties. Children find themselves in the same stage of life, said McZeal. They’re all doing the same thing at the same time. Teammates in soccer who carpooled, the best friends from summer camp that engraved their initials inside a heart on a tree next to their cabin, the neighbors who played ding-dong-ditch together. Middle school is all about the strive for popularity — the more friends, the better. Some friends were brought in from elementary school and, from there, friends kept getting added to the group. Drama occurs before kids are more in control of their friendships and start learning about independence. Rollerblading after school to the frozen yogurt shop with their allowance, hosting pool parties with all 20 of their so-called “best friends” and having a group hang with their crushes at the park when it got dark. “Your childhood is pretty clearly defined and adulthood
High school is a time where teenagers start learning about trust. In other words, it’s when the real drama starts. Their best friend list is cut in half and they distinguish their friends from their classmates. Fallingouts and tense arguments become more common. As senior year nears, everyone’s true colors show and teens realize who is worth keeping around after graduation. Of course, there are positives to this. When friend groups get smaller, they become more vulnerable with each other. Friends get to know each other on a different level, building a sibling-like bond because there’s more freedom to spend time together. Best friends who ask two other best friends to prom, groups of girls get ready to go to a party together, the first one in the group gets a car and picks everyone up for school, they all apply to work at the same community pool. Finally, college. Some join sororities or fraternities and make friends there. For those who don’t join Greek-affiliated social organizations, friendships are on their terms, especially if they didn’t bring any friends from back home to college. If that is the case, students have to find roommates on their own. The best-case scenario is they become best friends or join a friend group with other students. College is generally more inclusive because there are university-affiliated clubs available for almost every interest. For example, at the University of Florida, the Hispanic Student Association (HSA) is a club where Hispanic students created a home for themselves. This is also a time when students become seniors, they realize what friends from home they have grown out of and which ones will always be in their lives.
Spring breaks are planned without parents, road trips to the neighboring state are made, groups of friends sign a lease on an apartment together and students start feeling like their friend group is their family away from family. When you go into adulthood, relationships change at a slower pace because, as McZeal mentioned, you change more from 12 to 13 years old than from 40 to 41 years old “because you’re much more sure of yourself as an adult.”
Friendships as Centuries Pass During prehistoric times, the only thing that distinguished animals from Homo sapiens was their ability to form social groups, writes Israeli historian Yuval Noah Harari in “Sapiens,” a book on the history of humankind. Animals had a pack with an alpha male, but the human race communicated with each other and thus were more organized. The homo sapiens were the social animals. Sure, they were concerned about where the water sources or the hunting grounds were, but they were more interested in who hated who in the band or who is a cheater or a liar. This is called the gossip theory — how gossip keeps humankind social. “Reliable information about who could be trusted meant that small bands could expand into larger bands, and Sapiens could develop tighter and more sophisticated types of cooperation,” said Harari in “Sapiens.” Friendship bonds advanced so much over time that social classes, tribes and last names do not dictate whether people become friends anymore. Society still has work to do to fix its prejudice and discrimination. Openness to friendships will push for change as humankind progresses. The Origins Is sue 23
