Grae Magazine Rebirth Issue

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Rebecca Walker 2 | Grae Magazine | The Rebirth Issue


grae magazine. I’m Natalie and I am the creator & editor of Grae Magazine. Welcome to Grae Magazine’s very first issue. I always thought that writing was my passion but came to realize that it was simply creating that was my true passion. Whether I was creating through my words, my lens or my heart... creating was what I was born to do. So, I went ahead and created a place where people just like myself can do what they do best... create. Grae Magazine is a place where artists can be and show who they truly are. It is a place to portray underground and up and coming artists who have a passion for creating. Grae revolves around inspiration and is here to inspire. Each issue will be filled with art and inspiration that will strive to open your mind. It is hard to get your name and your art out there, so let Grae show what you can do, to the world.

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Rebirth by Aaron Nace 4 | Grae Magazine | The Rebirth Issue


january 2011

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Photography By Rebecca Walker 6 | Grae Magazine | The Rebirth Issue


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Natalie Zigdon 8 | Grae Magazine | The Rebirth Issue


thesigfigs CREATING MAGIC THROUGH MUSIC IS ONLY THE BEGINNING FOR THESE GROUP OF GUYS. Photography & Interview by Natalie Zigdon I’ve never been a fan of interviews. Asking simplistic questions and getting the same simple answers. Answers that relolve around us and are constantly heard. Nothing that really catches my attention... until now. After listening to The Sigfigs preform, I knew I had to ask those simple questions to possibly get a different side of perspective. After reading what lead singer Charles Feigelstock had to say, my outlook on interviews completely changed. I got answers far from ordinary and I realized, you have to ask the questions to recieve the answers, it isn’t about how you form the question but about who you’re asking it to. How did the Sigfigs all start? I wish I could give some Hollywood glam rock magic moment. Ray, Abi, and Jesse were friends from before. Gal and I had already been friends and working together for sometime. The trio met Gal, and Gal brought me in to meet with them. I jammed out and had a show two days later. The “sigfigs” is derived from (pun intended) the term significant figures. The trio are all involved in the world of engineering. The Rebirth Issue | Grae Magazine |9


You guys are a pretty diverse group of guys. What do we have here? Diversity is something that certainly isn’t hiding, I’ll tell you that much. I think someone is part Hawaian, Mexican, Eastern European, Israeli, we’re a microcosm. I’ve personally seen you guys preform, you have a velvety smooth voice. Do you play any other instruments? Well I play the triangle, the square, and the circle. I’m not sure if I’ve heard descriptions of my voice as “velvety smooth”, but I presume that it’s an endearing quality. All jokes aside I play guitar and pian. If I make women moan does that constitute as playing another instrument? The melodies of sex are even spoken about in Chaucer. Ok I figured it out here are the other instrument I play: women, guitar, piano, triangle, square, and circle. Plus, you can use the word “instrument” to make a reference to me, “an instrument of pleasure”. What advice would you give to a newly starting out band? Listen to Queen’s First Album, Animal’s by Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin III, Beethoven, Motzart, Bach, Shuman, all the greats. That’s step one. Step two, play music as much as you can with as many different people. Once you find a groove with people become pro-active about your career, if that’s how you’re looking at it. Don’t wait for Godot.

What artists influence you/your band? When I was a child I fell in love with Van Gogh’s work. I had no idea what Van Gogh represented, what his ideals were, that he was crazy, but those distinct brushstrokes resonated so deeply that it inspired me forever. How can pictorial art affect sound? Art, creativity, all comes from the same place. It just happens to manifest in many forms. It inspired me to create from the heart and from the soul. Other artists that have defined me are William Blake, Pink Floyd, Ezra Pound, and Beethoven. Art is the subconscious expressed, and I never meant to share my music with the world. My music is my life, it’s my internal story, and it’s my external story. I know for the other members that major influences have been Led Zeppelin, Queen, The Doors, Howlin Wolf, Bob Marley, Bad Company, Eric Clapton, Black Sabbath, AC/ DC, Guns N Roses etc. All bands I’m a huge fan of as well.

What kind of music do you guys create? Our music is a crossbreed between Blue, Rock and Roll, Blues, Jazz, Reggae; it’s great for fast driving, thumping, bumping, moaning, groaning, and just the right amount of fire so you can see the world, but it won’t singe your hairs. Let’s be honest, it’s very hard to make it big in the music world. I have faith in you but do you? Do you think music will take you somewhere or do you have a backup plan? Why can’t I have both? I’m a rational realistic person. Do I have faith? Faith in what? Humanity? Myself? I certainly do believe that musically and artistically I could hypothetically “make it big”. My purpose for entering this life isn’t to make it big though, it’s to perform. The more the merrier, the bigger the better, but it’s always been about the music. I want to ride this wave until it crashes, and even then paddle back out and ride it again. When I’ve been washed up on shore, barely breathing, coughing salt from my lungs, that’ll be the day I’ll turn to my backup plan which involves various forms of academia and business. I appreciate your faith, whatever that means. It makes me feel like I’m God, I guess there’s an element of all of us that enjoys feeling like a God.

“ I WANT TO RIDE THIS WAVE UNTIL IT CRASHES, AND EVEN THEN PADDLE BACK OUT AND RIDE IT AGAIN “

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Do you guys come up with the music as a band or is there one of you that usually handles the magic making? The true magic of music to an audience is seeing it, hearing it, living it at the moment, so I’d say we all handle the magic making when it comes down to it.


Where do you go to find inspiration when you’ve hit the wall? Honestly, I don’t walk into walls unless by my own accord. But, if it comes a point in which I’ve decided to walk into a wall, my inspiration is somehow lacking, looking inside gives a metallic black surface of emptiness, well then I go and turn around. We’re running forward, but sometimes looking back can provide us with meaning, with empowerment, mundane turned magical, and neurons explode ecstatically. I’ll look around a room, I’ll take a walk, I’ll stare at a person lips’ as they speak noticing if their teeth are chipped, how the wrinkles shift with different words. It can turn into an ocean with seagulls frozen in salt pillars, or a philosophical notion how nature’s cycles are puzzles waiting to be solved. This may then lead me to thinking that we’re all imperfect puzzle pieces, but what we try to do, and fail for the most part, is to create a society for ourselves in which the puzzle forms a picture to our taste. There have been periods of times when I wont pick up an instrument, or write, or express myself in any way, but this isn’t for lack of creativity, only the fear of what shall be created. My world is my muse. When did you realize that music was what your soul was meant to do? I realized when I was 12 writing my first song, a classical piece, that music was my soul. I remember I once told someone that if I could no longer play guitar it would be equivalent to losing a limb. In fact, I originally didn’t consider singing as a means of expression for myself. I always considered myself someone who played guitar, a songwriter, and who sang to their songs. I then continued through high school, dropped out, dropped into college, continued playing

music for two hrs a day on piano/guitar/ singing and writing music. My father is a cantor, my grandmother was a Violinist, my brother is a singer, my sister was a pianist, my family has some musical DNA I’d say. I think I really knew that the word music and soul were the same when I began crying while I wrote music. It resonated so deeply, emotions ripped from my chest, my throat moving to heart. There are three types of tears, all chemically different, in the human body. I’ve had all of them mixed with every emotion while creating music. You really caught me up on this question. Put it this way: If I had to choose going without playing/creating music for a year vs. no sex for a year. It’s an easy decision for

me. I could live a year without sex, and although it might be grueling I would surely survive. I know for fact I could not live a year without music. Insanity would seep its way into my body, swim through my veins, cough my guts onto the floor, then have its way with me while I was knocked out on the ground. I hope this isn’t too graphic. What are some big plans sigfigs has in store for the future? You can check out our face book by looking up “The Sigfigs”, or you can check out our myspace which now has our live show that you attended. Myspace.com/sigfgisband

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the treehouSe.

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A person’s touch can be the most beautiful or the most grotesque thing you can come across. We were sitting on the bench and the wind was cold as ice. It charged towards my skin as if it had a motive. I wasn’t suppose to be here and that is what made it all the more exciting. I was sitting there waiting patiently for what was going to happen next, I had an idea but at the same time had no clue. He was talking yet the words flew right past me. I couldn’t figure out what he was saying exactly but I didn’t care, the features on his face were speaking the most beautiful things to me and that’s all I wanted to hear. His lips, saying i’ll take care of you. His eyes, i’m here to use you. I felt like a child who is being told not to touch the hot stove yet I do it anyways. He was still talking and I was still falling. Falling in complete and utter lust. I look down at his fingers and they were laid gently on my bare skin. No one was in sight, it was a pitch black night and the perfect place to hide away from the world. I look up at him and he was now staring at my breasts. He comments on how perfect they are and I almost throw up in my mouth for I’ve seen perfect and I’m not one to be buttered up before being shoved into the stove. I smile politely and keep my lips shut tight. A quiet girl gives a man a sense of control. I wanted to feed him control on a silver platter

so he could have his way with me. His lips were suddenly at my neck kissing his way from the top to my breasts. He slowly pulled my shirt off but didn’t let his lips break away for even a second. The air was so cold but my body felt warmer than it has ever felt inside. I held my breath for I was scared to wake the world with the moaning that was dying to break out of me. His hands made it’s way to my skirt and my initial reaction was to shove him off but I was too intoxicated from his touch. I closed my eyes and envisioned all the things I wanted him to do, but didn’t even realize we were already past that. On this cold night, the only thing I could feel was his fingers all over my body. They were up my skirt, down my shirt and deep inside me. I opened my eyes to see if the world looks different when being filled up for the very first time and my eyes met his. He had a deep look of power in his eyes and I was happy to put it there. I took my sight off of him and looked around me. I saw darkness at it’s finest, like a blanket covering up what is really going on. It was late and I could have been anywhere but there at that moment but all I truly wanted was to make pleasure. He pulled up my skirt and thrust himself inside me. I felt his grip on my skin tighten and soon enough I was the one who had the control. I was wet but not to

the point of losing myself. I still had focus on what I came here to do. While his eyes were closed and weak with the thought of sex, I reached into my boot and pulled out my gun. He felt my body pulling away and he looked me like a startled child who was being ripped away from something he loved. I pulled up my gun to his chest and his face filled with fear, made me want to pull the trigger faster. He wanted to scream, he wanted to run, he wanted to crawl into a ball and disappear. I told him that he was getting what he deserved, that now he knows how they all felt. He then had a deep look of fear in his eyes, and I was happy to put it there. I shot him straight through the heart and left him lying there and never looked back. I came there for pleasure, and pleasure was exactly what I got. I was in the kitchen when I heard the most reassuring words coming straight from the news reporter herself. “...Coming straight from the scene, this man won’t be raping anymore young women. His raping spree, is now over.”

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rorschach. dont see with your eyes, percieve with your mind. They reflect your own desires and fantasies right back at you. They are a stolen world in which you create the streets, the faces and the sky. These pictures will be whatever you want them to be. To me, art is exactly like a rorschach. There is simplicity in what you are looking at but it is your mind that creates a beyond ordinary place. Every month this section will be filled with brilliant artists who strive to have their art lose you into an entirely different world.When appreciating art, let your mind wander. Let your mind be free.

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PJ Fatanat 24 | Grae Magazine | The Rebirth Issue


Bec Winnel

Diane Baynes The Rebirth Issue | Grae Magazine |25


Rebecca Walker

Meagan Caldwell 26 | Grae Magazine | The Rebirth Issue


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Laurel Terlesky 28 | Grae Magazine | The Rebirth Issue


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Danny Roberts 30 | Grae Magazine | The Rebirth Issue


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Sarah Lee

Sarah Lee 32 | Grae Magazine | The Rebirth Issue


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PJ Fatanat 34 | Grae Magazine | The Rebirth Issue


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Photography by Sophia Alvarado Interview by Natalie Zigdon www.digitalsophiaphoto.com

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digital sophia When did you first find out that photography was what you’re heart was meant to do? Well I had the interest of taking photo’s of people starting with friends for their myspaces lol. These photo’s that I took for myspace were not taken with a professional camera. I found out that it was something I really enjoyed doing so when I was 16 I was given my first DSLR camera from my uncle. Ever since then my photography journey started and blossomed.

What area/type of photography do you refuse to do? And why? I’m not really into doing events, unless I’m being paid because I’m not a fan of photographing random people and large crowds. I like to have a single or few subjects. I feel like sometimes those photo’s can be meaningless. But on the other hand I have seen fantastic event photo’s that really tell a story. It’s just not really what I’m strongest at.

What advice would you give to newly starting out photographers? I’d tell any new photographer who is interested in doing fashion to start out by networking with people in the field, such as models, mua’s, hair, etc. Make internet profiles and portfolio and get your work out there. It is so important to to have a good web of people who you work with. Practice makes perfect, you can always learn more, and do better.

Where do you go for inspiration when you’ve hit that wall? I tend to have those moments where I feel down and uninspired. I sometimes even question if I have the creative mind to pursue such a creative field. But then I stop and think of how far I have gone, and what steps I’ve made into growing as a photographer and think “Why would I stop”?. So I’ve realized that inspiration for me comes from within and my surroundings. Most of mine come from a single moment while I’m shooting or thinking.. For example the way the light is hitting a models face, the way she is moving, or the kind of scenery we are in.

Where did you learn all that you know? Did somebody teach you or did you just learn along the way? I have taken 2 black and white film classes before, but those classes have had anything to do with the work I do now. If anything those lame basic 101 classes have not inspired me one bit. So I’m self taught, from using the functions of a camera, to photoshop, composition and business. Though at this point in my life I have really considered going to an art school. There is one school in particular I am looking at in Pasadena. I really feel like I could learn a lot and grow as a photographer if I make the decision to go.

The theme of this month is rebirth.. Do you feel like your photography has grown into something different or changed you as a person? Yes absolutely, that’s how I would describe myself. I think my work is always evolving and changing. Sometimes it’s being refined, then sometimes I am experimenting with new styles of shooting. For me I’d always like to up the anty in my work. I want it to make it more interesting and challenge myself. I think that’s the only one someone can really grow. And I think the longer I do this, I start to understand it more and get a firm sense of what direction I’d like to go in. The Rebirth Issue | Grae Magazine |39


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“The greatest plea doing what people s

-

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asure in life is say you cannot do.�

-Walter Bagehot

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the rebirth iSSue I’m gonna get all dramatic on you for a second but I’ve never felt like I’ve belonged. I don’t do drugs or live to drink so that ex’s me out of that crowd. School has never been my thing so even if I wanted to hang out with the kind of people who dedicate themselves to their books, I don’t think it would go very far. Not saying I’m unintelligent, I can hold a very intelligent conversation, I just choose to leave mathimatical equations and large literary words out of it. I analyze people and their emotions way too much so I can’t seem to relate to those who I have to associate myself with on a daily basis and the beautiful outcasts I do manage to find are so fucked up in their own way, sometimes I can’t even relate to them myself. But I guess that’s a two way street. I can’t imagine anyone fully understanding what goes on in my mind. Isn’t that the best part though? There’s no one like me. So why does it feel like you’re missing out on everything, that everything good is happening anywhere but where you are. I got over it quickly because I came to realize that I would much rather stand out then seem like everyone else. The day it truly hit me was the day I fell in love

with art. More so, fell in love with being an artist. What truly defines an artist? To me an artist is one who is capable of creating a whole new world. One that you can get lost into and roam around aimlessly with an open mind. We are always searching for more but what we don’t realize is the beauty right beneath our eyes. We constantly miss how artists strive to leave their mark on this world. How artists try and tweak a simple detail that ends up changing the entire picture. We miss the powerful effect that artists have. We miss what we have been aming to see for

like I belong. Not the ‘I talk to myself and have major issues’ kind of belong, but the kind where my mind is very much apart of me and if you can’t handle it, move on sista. Rebirth was inspired by putting a piece of myself into something new. Rebirth is when after death the soul begins a new cycle of esistence in another human body. To me, in the living, in the now, rebirth is a new beginning of my mind and soul regardless of where my body is heading. This magazine is meant to help me grow without thinking twice, like getting drunk and then getting pregnant. What?. It wasnt fully thought Rebirth is when through but reis happenafter death the soul birth ing whether you begins a new cycle of planned it or not. will always be existence in another We trying to search for human body. who we are and try so long. I want to be that one that leaves my mark on this world regardless of how others view me. The cover of this month’s issue was inspired by how I view myself. A mind, jumbled up and splattered everywhere. There’s so much going on up there, I wouldn’t even know where to begin. My mind can be so many things, but mostly the one place I feel

to fit in but instead we should be trying to create ourselves, letting ourselves go through rebirth...even if we have to endure the pain and most definitely learn to accept that we were born to stand out. I hope that this magazine could grow to be a place for others to stand out and be proud of not fitting in, and not belonging. The Rebirth Issue | Grae Magazine |49


“Artist of the month.” aaron nace.

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Photography by Aaron Nace. Interview by Natalie Zigdon www.aaron-nace.com The Rebirth Issue | Grae Magazine |51


-What got you started in photography? I’ve always been interested in making images. I went to school for design where I realized I wasn’t the best at drawing. I needed another medium. When I graduated, I had a good friend who was a photographer, and he made me realize that I could make my own art using a camera. After attending university, I attended dental school and was working on my 365 project. I was more interested in my photography project than dental school. I realized I could make a greater impact on the world through photography.

-What is a goal of yours when starting a new project? I want to create an image that I visualize in my head. I want to push boundaries, and create something I have never seen before.

-A lot of times, who we are is due to our past or our childhood. Were you creative as a child? Oh yeah. I spent most of my childhood drawing and making inventions and building things.

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imagine possible... How did you start out/learn all that you know? Did somebody teach you or did you just learn along the way? I started using PS at 15 years old using other peoples images to create my own art... During design school, I used PS for designing products and whatnot. I became more familiar with the program. I am self taught. I have always tried to make the impossible happen through this program.

-What to you is a good photographer? Someone who is good at photoshop? Someone who has good photography equipment, or someone who is emotional enough to portray emotions through their photos? What makes a photographer a true photographer in your eyes? Definitely not someone who has a lot of equipment. A good photographer is someone who can realize their vision through an image. There are many different types of good photographers... there is no key ingredient. They must take pride in their work and stand behind it. Photoshop isn’t a necessary component of photography... it just happens to be one of the tools that I enjoy using.

-Do you ever have days where you just want to quit and feel like you doubt being a photographer? Yeah. I think everyone has days like that. And that’s where I thank my family, friends, and fans for supporting me. Usually a good nights sleep will help with that.


-Do you ever feel extremely critical of other photography because you have gained a sense of style to your own photography? I have an appreciation for all types of photography. I do tend to like images that involve Photoshop because that’s what I do.

-So you offer classes teaching others how to excel in photoshop. I love that you are willing to share your knowledge with others.. can you explain a little bit more about your class? I teach a live Photoshop class online in which we edit images that I have in my portfolio. Students can see my screen and hear my voice. They are able to ask questions and receive an answer instantly. There is a beginner and advanced class so we cover simple and complex techniques. I teach a beginner and advanced class every other month and anyone can join. I post review videos after each class in case someone cannot make it to class. You can find more information at www. learnphotoshoplive.com.

-I love that you strive to portray a whole different world through your photography. What inspires you?

-Do you have any advice for amateur photographers? My biggest advice is to take as many pictures as you can stand. Every time you pick up a camera you get better, whether you realize it or not.

-This month’s theme is rebirth. Can you say that there was a certain point in your life where you changed as a person due to a certain event? Avery Carlton has helped me realize who I want to be. She inspires me to be a better person and photographer. Our relationship has made me want to expand into new territories and complete the impossible. She pushes me to be better and has led me out of a stagnant series. We have made plans to live this life together and we are constantly working to become better. We work as a team. She supports me, and I support her. There is no “I” in “A Team”. For our “Rebirth” photo, we wanted to focus the idea on being reborn in an unknown environment. We are constantly evolving and changing as people. With every decision we make, we change the world we live in. Some of those decisions we make, change our world completely.

Whether it’s an issue or the season... everything inspires me. I try to exaggerate that feeling and bring it to life. The Rebirth Issue | Grae Magazine |53


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blame it on the sun. Photography by Natalie Zigdon

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the gemini issue coming february 2011 Don’t think May 21 to June 21 or anything astrology related. Think... two. Two different sides, two different people, two different souls, two different minds. Yet two different kinds that can come together and be one. Gemini is about versitality, two different sides... one that come out when the other one is in hiding. We all have two sides to ourselves whether one comes out more often than the other. I want this next issue to portray the two different sides this world has. Whether it is the darker twin, or the happier one.. show me the art that can portray both. Send in your art to inspire [at] graemagazine.com to be featured in the next issue.

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Contribute to grae. Rorschach. Want to have your art work featured in Grae? Send your art work to inspire [at] graemagazine.com. How do you know you’re qualified? Grae is searching for underground artists and people who simply have a passion to create. Whether it is a picture, a song, a canvas or a story. If you think your creations are creative and inspiring then you are more than qualified… you’re exactly what we’re looking for!

The TreehouSe. Consider yourself a writer? Send us a sample of your writing or a piece you wrote especially for Grae’s theme of the month and your work could be featured in our treehouse section. We only take fiction and creative writing. We’re not trying to sell anything or promote anyone in this section. The treehouse is all about writing with a twist. Show us your creative side by sending your work to inspire [at] graemagazine. com.

Featured InterviewS. Think you deserve a featured spread showcasing your art and your mind? So do we. Send us 3-4 photos of your artwork to inspire [at] graemagazine.com and we’ll answer back with the intriguing questions. You can get a featured spread with an interview by simply speaking up. How will we ever know you’re there unless you don’t use your voice? Don’t be shy. Feeling the opposite and think you know of the perfect artist to interview? Do your thing and send us the artwork and interview you’ve set up for them. We’ll be more than happy to feature you as the brilliant writer who found such an inspiring artist. Maybe you’re not a brilliant writer, just really good at asking questions. Hey, we’ll take it.

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Thank you To ThoSe who live to create. Charles Feigelstock PJ Fatanat Bec Winnel Diane Baynes Rebecca Walker Meagan Caldwell Laurel Teresky Danny Roberts SArah lee Sophia Alverado Aaron Nace Avery Carlton

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