A Definitive Ranking of Washrooms in the Law School

There is no washroom related pun in the subtitle because Diversions has integrity

ANGELA HOU (2L)

I’m sure that you all follow me on Insta (@_angelahou) and that you’ve seen my Story series where I provide the hottest takes on law school washrooms. Well, it’s getting close to exam season, and I thought I’d expand my reach to help all of you poor unfortunate souls that can’t drop a deuce at home.

As law students, we spend a lot of time in this building. We spend a lot of time studying in Bora, gossiping about who got clerkships in the atrium, and judging that group of loud 1L bros in Rowell.

It’s also an unfortunate reality that we spend a lot of time on the porcelain thrones in the building. One of the great luxuries of life (that law students are deprived of) is being able to use the facilities regularly and in the comfort of your own home. It’s okay though because I’m here to give you the definitive ranking. So, the next time you’re unloading some timber in the school, at least you know that you’re using the best washroom $40,000 can buy.

1. Bora Basement Unisex

This washroom has everything you want: a locking door (sort of), peace and quiet, and no line of students who question why you’ve spent half an hour in there. You were probably crying or playing Candy Crush. We’ve all been there but we’ll all still judge you for it. This washroom is judgment-free: so massive, it can hide your shame. You can even take a nap in here if you’ve really reached rock bottom and no one will even notice. No one ever notices you.

2. Faculty Washrooms (3rd & 4th floor) Unisex

These washrooms should be number one but miss out on the top spot for two reasons. First, they close at 5 pm. Most of us aren’t members of the law school elite and the plebs don’t get after-hours access upstairs. Second, a professor might walk in after you and you’re definitely getting an LP after they see what you did in there. The reason they would be number 1 is that they are always clean, never out of soap, TP, or paper towels, AND they all have air fresheners (!!!).

3. 3rd Floor Flavelle

This one is at the top of the stairs leading from the Fireside Lounge, a few doors down from Sara Faherty’s office. It is always clean, and it’s very convenient to get to from Rowell. But, it’s also the type of washroom that you find everywhere in older buildings: the toilet seats are black so you can’t be sure what’s on them and the stall doors don’t go all the way up. If you’re tall like me, you risk making eye contact

with Sara Faherty in the mirror while she’s washing her hands. Sorry, Asst. Dean Faherty, that must have been awkward for you. It definitely was for me.

4. Main Floor Unisex

This washroom is one that you probably didn’t know about. Just beside the main entrance of J250, it’s usually clean enough, and there’s probably no one in there. It’s like Admin Law: you don’t hate it, but you don’t necessarily want to be there either. However, it is designated as a handicap washroom so maybe don’t use it unless you absolutely have to, okay?

5. Bora Upstairs Unisex

Upstairs Bora. Upstairs Bora wishes it was as good as basement Bora, but is thankful it’s not as bad as main floor Bora. Upstairs Bora is just mediocre but has a hard time accepting that. Just like the majority of the law students at this school.

6. Basement Falconer Unisex

You didn’t see this one coming, did you? You might think I put this in here because it’s across from the Ultra Vires office but I am a terrible contributor and have never been in the Ultra Vires cave [Editor’s note: can confirm]. To be honest, I put this here because I’ve never been to any other washroom in Falconer. Is there another washroom in Falconer? Follow me on Insta and DM me to let me know.

7. Basement Jackman Women’s

Like most of you, I probably use this washroom the most. Also, like most of you, I have an intense dislike of it. For my entire 1L year, one or both of the Dyson dryers were broken. If you were wondering why all the women in the law school had wet hands last year, it’s because of this washroom.

8. Atrium Women’s

Picking between the final two truly horrendous options was incredibly difficult. They are both completely and utterly awful. Atrium Women’s manages to avoid last place solely for the reason that there wasn’t a gross spy camera found in it last year. This washroom is incredibly badly designed. Why are there only three stalls? J250 alone seats 200 people! Half of people are women! The math doesn’t check out. The result that absolutely no one could have seen coming is that there is always a line and the washroom itself is always disgusting from overuse. This washroom also runs out of toilet paper by 3pm. We have 10 years to fix climate change so maybe use less toilet paper?

9. Bora Main Floor Unisex

This is it. The last one. Well, technically two, but they’re interchangeable. They are the worst of the worst. Ah, where to start? Well, despite the custodians’ best efforts, they’re always filthy. There was a literal spy camera found in it last year. What is even the point of spying on a law school bathroom? All that person probably saw was a series of people crying or playing Candy Crush. And the doors don’t actually lock so you run the risk of accidentally mooning a SNAIL, or worse, a 1L [Editor’s note: can confirm]. This is the absolutely worst washroom in the law school. And yet, like many things in life, completely unavoidable.

Follow @toilets_in_toronto for more content

Thanks for reading this incredibly useful list. If you would like more washroom content, follow the @toilets_in_toronto on Insta. It isn’t my account because I don’t leave the law school but unlike this article, it’s good content. I’d like to conclude by thanking the law school’s custodial staff. You’re tthe real gold medalists.

This article only ranks women’s washrooms because 1) most of them are unisex anyways and 2) gender is fake news.