Umiius October 2012

COMING OUT

HISTORICAL LGBT

KIN4LIFE

MINORITIES WHO ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE

AND FINDING YOUR OWN TRUTH “LIVE OUT LOUD”

WADE DAVIS SPORTS, LOVE & COMING OUT

INCLUDING JANET MOCK

THE NEW AGE MEDIA COMPANY

18 17

On the Cover

Janet Mock Up close & Personal Kin4Life

Pulled Out

Co-Founder Elijah Li recounts coming out of the closet

27

Sounds of the Invsisble

Giants leaps made in the dark.. Blink and you’ll miss them check our community progress

32

Inspiration Around Us Out there all around us people see the inspiration. Can You?

49

Resources

You Ask & We Answer

All material appearing in Umiius Magazine is copyright unless otherwise stated or it may rest with the provider of the supplied material. Umiius Magazine takes all care to ensure information is correct at time of printing, but the publisher accepts no responsibility or liability for the accuracy of any information contained in the text or advertisements.

04 October 2012

MESSAGE FROM

THE EDITOR EDITOR: Elijah Li

EMAIL: Elijah.Li@shuomii.com

We’ve created an unbreakable team built on passion and a commitment to truly be a beneficial presence to our community.

I would like to thank all the people that believed in my idea and also all the people that doubted me because without both, the idea would still just be an idea. The original idea, ShuoMii Life, started after attending a few schools and recognizing the opportunity to create a positive image for LGBT minorities.

It was just a thought until the passion arrived. My personal muse was the movie, Brother to Brother (2004), directed

by Rodney Evan. Brother to Brother’s plot follows the life of Perry (Anthony Mackie), an African American student recently disowned by his

family for being gay, and his struggles. His life takes a turn when he begins to interact with Bruce Nugent (Rodger Robinson) who was an author and contributor to the literary magazine: Fire!!.

Fire magazine started during the artistic times of the Harlem Renaissance.

The authors of this magazine wanted an arena to express the changing experiences of younger African Americans and used Fire!! to facilitate the exploration of issues that were taboo in Black community like homosexuality, bisexuality, interracial relationships,

promiscuity, prostitution, and color prejudice.

Following in the footsteps of Fire!!! ShuoMii Life took the concept of Fire!! and declared to go massive & bold with Umiius magazine.

This issue is UMIIUS is our official Coming OUT! Featured are the stories of Wade Davis, a former NFL player, one of the most masculine and aggressive sports, decided to come out to the world. You’ll join KIN4Life, a lesbian rap group, recount their experiences shifting from

the corporate would to music.

There is also insight on your own decision to come out in the workplace and a request for you to share with us your experiences as an LGBTQ person of color. This is UMIIUS magazine and these are OUR stories!

Elijah M Li Elijah Mekalin Karr Li Editor in Chief ShuoMii Life Media

magazine contact magazine team EDITOR IN CHIEF: Elijah Li e. Elijah.Li@shuomii.com CREATIVE DIRECTOR: Omar Jeffries e. Omar@shuomii.com

distribution

writers

Khamila Alebiosu Derrick Cliffton Preston Mitchum Travis Madison Deroll Scarlett Ernest Timmons

BlackOut magazine is available bimontly to subscribe please visit:

marketing

http://www.shuomii.com/magazine

BRAND AWARENESS MANAGER:

advertising Media kits available on request. e. advertise@shuomii.com

Kurell Julien e. Kurell.Julien@shuomii.com

COMING OUT

HISTORICAL LGBT

KIN4LIFE

MINORITIES WHO ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE

AND FINDING YOUR OWN TRUTH “LIVE OUT LOUD”

WADE DAVIS SPORTS, LOVE & COMING OUT

empowerment

INCLUDING JANET MOCK

one call could save you 28% on car insurance*

Call 1-888-720-4313 to see how much you could save.

*National average annual savings based on data from customers who reported savings by switching to Esurance between 12/1/11 and 4/30/12. Š 2012 Esurance Insurance Services, Inc. All rights reserved. CA License #0G87829

06 October 2012

Out’ober

008 October 2012

MESSAGE FROM

THE FOUNDER

EDITOR: Kyung Ji-Hyo

EMAIL: Kyung.Hyo@shuomii.com

At first I was skeptical about helping to start a LGBT magazine, but after hearing the reason behind the magazine I fell in love.

When I first came on to ShuoMii Life I had one goal in mind, to help give the community back the voice we lost. After watching so many of the LGBTQ people of color lose their sense of direction, confidence and self-esteem, I knew it was time to take action. I teamed up with Cofounder “Elijah Li” to help restore the image of a community that has ultimately stood powerless way to long against ridicule, suicides, bullying, and education. As Cofounder of ShuoMii Life, I dedicated myself to improving the quality of life so “tolerance” is no longer a word used to describe a community fighting for equality. It is astonishing how many people support BlackOut’s vision, when my partner first came to me with the idea of starting a publication that was targeting the LGBTQ minorities and people of color. Originally I was skeptical, because of the current LGBTQ magazines, but after listening to the message behind ShuoMii, it was clear that most publications do not focus on community building. I believe in the message, vision and mission that ShuoMii embodies.

I am truly grateful to my partners, staff and volunteers for the consistent hours and effort they put in and most importantly to the viewers.

Kyung Ji-Hyo

Kyung Ji-Hyo Co-Founder: Qunity: BlackOut Magazine

010 October 2012

CONTENTS OCTOBER ‘12 Interviews 16 20

25

Kin4Life Wade Davis

41

LifeofArt Visuals

15 38

25

64 68 72 49

12 16 17 37 49

Poetry

Coming Out 10 steps to coming Out Coming Out At Work Pulled Out x2 Realizations Coming Out Questions

Circus Freaks Truth of Emerging

Health Take Pride in your Health

Randoms The Code Rule #1 The Code Rule #2 The Gay in Women Q &A

30

Inspiration Personified

October 2012 013

BE PATIENT

I’m sure it took you some time to really come to grips with your sexuality. Give them some time too. Even if they go crazy, do your best to stay calm!

OUTLINE YOUR CONVERSATION

This will help you create a roadmap for your conversation. When coming out it’s easy to be distracted by questions or mixed emotions, a road map will help you make sure you covered everything that was important for you to bring up in this initial conversation.

PLAN YOUR RESPONSES

You may be more familiar with the person you plan to come out to than anyone else, so be sure you have some ideas about how they will respond to each of the things you’ve included in your outline.

Take some time to prepare for the good, the bad and the ugly. Not only will you maintain control of the conversation but this will reduce the amount of surprises you may face.

SCHEDULE THE CONVERSATION

For some, an impromptu conversation will be just fine, but scheduling the conversation will also decrease surprises and help you maintain control.

SET GROUND RULES

Outline for them what they can expect from you and what you’d like from them in return. i.e. “There is something really important that I would like to talk to you about and before we begin I am requesting that you hear me out with patience and love. I also promise to do the same and answer any and all questions (be prepared to answer anything!) you may have with the same patience and love.

EXIT STRATEGY

This should be determined before you all begin the conversation. “If at any point during this conversation you are uncomfortable just let me know and we can stop and pick it up later, without judgment, but I definitely want to pick it up later, when you are more comfortable.”

BE HONEST

Really share from the heart. Allow them to really understand what you are feeling while still being respectful of their experience.

BE SYMPATHETIC

They already love you; that’s why you think you need to have this conversation with them. I’m sure it’s equally challenging to many family and friends who is are trying to understand how to be supportive of someone they love when they live a life they don’t necessarily approve of. With your help, they’ll come around.

FRIEND/FAMILY

Have a (gay-friendly) friend on standby during your scheduled conversation. It’ll be great to have someone to release a rollercoaster of emotions with after the conversation, whether the emotions are good or bad. Also, if the conversation ends prematurely, you’ll have someone available that you know already supports you.

LOCAL RESOURCES

Have a list ready of all the resources in your area that may become useful following the conversation.

(See Page 49)

E V A S % *

20

SEND BOUQUETS FOR ANY OCCASION anniversary | birthday | just because

Hurry! Order now for unbelievable low prices, with flowers from $19.99 +s/h Visit

www.ProFlowers.com/bloomed or call 888.927.6036

Join Over 12 Million People Who Have Found a Better Way to Send Flowers *20% off discount will appear upon checkout. Minimum purchase of $29.00. Does not apply to gift cards or certificates, same-day or international delivery, shipping and handling, taxes, or third-party hosted products (e.g. wine) and cannot be combined with other offers or discounts.

Discounts not valid on bulk or corporate purchases of 10 units or more. Offer expires: 4/14/13.

The Writer: Khamila Alebiosu

Empty Unwanted. Unloved Unwritten stories live within my smoked shadows.

Lighted by false smiles smirks out of not compassion but cordiality

This loudness, silenced my voice.

Radical. Progressive, I am despised. feared.

And so your hatred submerges my strength into anger, aggression, bitterness.

My reality. My world. My place Is not simple or easy.

In this power-driven, capitalist ring, I juggle.

I juggle between those two worlds.

Black against White.

And Blackness is NIGgaytion.

Forced into a circus Put into cages. living as a spectacle

as I stagger between being a nigger, and an actual human being.

Between truth and lies.

The beautiful and the grotesque.

As we are all watched, judged.

Stepping into the big top i am made small you watch me, as i shiver, shake ,shoulders hunchedwalking, trying to find balance as i walk the thin line. the tightrope between two sides. two worlds. two spheres of life I must see.

A trembling, staggering paradox I am a Black Woman in a White Mans world I am queer, in a heterosexist dimension.

And it this binary complex which made me your circus freak.

Your bearded woman; my androgyny is for your entertainment while ostracized from respect Gendered by your charcoal stares. great Met by false applause.

The same claps which revel in the sights of my Black buffoonery.

Minstrelsy through jerk dances, Madea, BET, Waka Flocka, Soulja boy Doin the dougie. all day. everyday.

I am ugly in your eyes. and those are the eyes i am forced to see my self.You took the rivers, and created your own reflections.

Destroying any vision.

Blind to true beauty.

Blindfold by reality Blindsided by denial of my history, my culture.

Your eyes lead the way, A mere ventriloquist dummy, speaking your words, your voice Gaping, Gawked jaws guide my fate.

Your circus freak has no power.

Yours to experience, yours to love. yours to exploit Yours not mine .

Powerless, broken, vulnerable, laughable, animated, loud, aggressive, Black.

016 October 2012

Coming Out at Work What are the effects of disclosing your sexual orientation in the workplace or during an interview?

Writer: Deroll Scarlett The standard rule of thumb in the work place is you leave your personal issues at the door and focus on work during work hours.

This issue falls into that personal issue category. Employers don’t want to hear about your sexual orientation, and in many cases, it makes many uncomfortable to become grounds for dismissal. It can also become a sexual harassment issue. The best advice to any job seeker is to keep it to yourself. It’s nobody’s business and my guess is nobody’s interested in knowing, so why share it?

If an individual persists on bringing up the subject at work or during job interviews, I recommend you contact your Human Resources department to file a formal complaint. An investigation should be completed to advise all parties involved to cease and desist making such allegations to any individual within the organization.

But more than that: 1) You should decline from even considering telling someone your sexuality. That is like telling someone on the phone you are ethnic background--what’s the purpose of it? Why do I need to know that information?

2) If you lost the job after coming out, my guess it is because of how it was done, not that it was done. If you thought it was crucial to talk about an entirely personal matter that had zero bearing on your position, the company probably figured you would spill confidential information about the job to competitors or friends working for competitors. The company may also look at you as a huge liability, so they will either terminate or provide severance.

Additionally, job seekers should never discuss their sexual orientation at a job interview or thereafter. It has little to do with the ability to perform the workload assigned. It is against Equal Opportunity Employment (EOE) mandates to refuse to hire someone based on sexual orientation as it has no merit on the position in which you are applying for. Focus on work, not your personal life.

3) An individual should never disclose their sexual orientation for any reason. Even the military has changed that as legal ramifications exists.

If the company rescinded an offer after you came out, it is a federal discrimination offense punishable by law. You may potentially have a direct lawsuit against that company merely based on EOE!

If you are interested in working at a company that is LGBT friendly checkout HRC buyer’s guide to LGBT friendly companies or check to see if the company you are interested in has a diversity page.

If you expect to get a job or keep your current position, I highly recommend it never comes up during a job interview or thereafter in the workplace.

October 2012 017

Coming Out:

PULLED OUT X2 Writer: Elijah Mekalin Karr Li

With BlackOut’s first issue focusing on coming out and in honor of National Coming Out Day, I wanted to allow viewers to get to know at least one of the founders and hear their personal accounts of coming out. As I look back, I have two accounts of coming out. As I write, I thank the universe for these experiences because I am here at this exact moment in time doing what I am doing with BlackOut magazine because of my past life lessons.

Ever since, I was little, I had this thought in the back of my mind that I was always different or special. One quote that accounts to that time is by a character called Aunt Carmen in the movie Elliot Loves that best describes that time: “Its tough being special. Once you are special you are always going to be special, and there’s nothing you can do about it, so you gotta be tough.” “Tough” was what I had to be during Junior High, which was when I had my first experience coming out. I had one of those typical coming of age moments where I wanted to sexually experiment. The closest person I wanted to trust was my best friend at the time that surprisingly did not decline the offer. In general we were inseparable as friends, but one day someone decided to call him a three-letter word that changed the course of my life, “Gay.” My best friend convinced himself that they had called both of us gay because I had given accounts of our sexual interactions to the school. In an act of revenge, my friend outed me to the entire school. If you did not know I was gay, he made sure that you knew and had to stop talking to me.

During that age, kids can easily be convinced about anything so over the course of a week I lost almost all of my friends including a few I went with to kindergarten.

His anger against me was so strong that outing me to the school was not enough for him, so he attempted to tell my family. With all but a few friends left, I sought refuge by practicing my music during lunch time. Music became my passion because of the anger, depression, fear, and loneliness did not have any other outlet.

My second time coming out was not as miserable as the first. At fifteen, I was particularly fond of porn, I mean, what kid was not? My mom would attempt to catch me in the act, but I’d always be fast enough to turn off my computer screen so she would not see. As a devious little hobby, I started collecting pornographic photos and I had a Mac so I decided to store them in iPhoto.

One day my cousin borrowed my digital camera to take pictures so she could put it up on MySpace. When she connected the camera back onto the computer to put the pictures on MySpace, up popped my iPhoto album with all the pictures. So she went and told her mother, my aunt, and then my aunt told my sister and then, my mom.

My sister came and told me early in the morning that my mother was coming to talk to me about what they saw.

My heart was racing when my mother came down stairs, and she told me “I will love you for who you are, just be careful.” After mulling over being pre-warned earlier, I got angry because I got betrayed by my computer and felt my privacy was violated so I ran off early to work.

In my intro, I mentioned that I thanked the universe for those experiences because up until recently, I held onto that story like that was the definition of my life. I felt that I was not special anymore, did not mean anything, did not want to connect with people, tell people I love them or trust anyone. Those beliefs held me back in so many places. The one life changing piece of advice I received was that I let this event that occurred 14 years ago define my life, my friend is far passed it, and I was giving him power to control my life through these beliefs. So I thank the universe for the experience because I’ve grown in so many ways since that breakthrough and I am here to be a powerful, open and responsible leader making change for our community.

The Interview

Kin4Life

KIN4LIFE , a lesbian hiphop duo is taking the community by storm. They’ve headlined the GO Magazine New York Nightlife Awards show; Pride celebrations in New York, Atlanta, Philadelphia, Toronto, Palm Springs, Columbia, S.C.; and Inferno Dominican Republic, where they performed for the second consecutive year in 2011, along with Grammy nominee Marsha Ambrosius. KIN4LIFE was chosen as Group of the Year by the OutHipHop.com 2010 Readers Poll.

Notable collaborations include tracks with producer DJ Jazzy Jeff and artists STS, Lil Flip, Black Ice and Clarita De Quiroz.

They’ve only just begun, being touted as the female version of The Neptunes, the female duo KIN4LIFE is a name to remember. There more recent music video , It’s Ovah Now” was awarded Best HipHop Song 2012 at the 8th annual OUT Music Awards , serving the LGBTO community.

They’ve been working with the hottest up and coming hip hop and R&B acts including including Black Ice, Babs Bunny, Monifah, Lady Twist and Ty Ward and have garnered comparison to Missy Elliot. Their single “Money Brings Trouble” was chosen for placement in the feature film “Changing The Game” that debuyed in May 2012.

A: Nor: We met in elementary school many many years ago.

She is a little bit older than me and her sister and I were best friends. So we met then. She always used to be a like a big sister to me kicking me out of her room & being mean to me.

IQ: That’s very true. I currently kick her out of my house on occasion as well.

Q: When you guys grew up who inspired you?

A: IQ: We are 80’s babies raised in the 90’s glories days of hip hop. Sorry to anyone who was feeling the Sugar Hill Gang.

Bad Boy, Biggie, before that MC Light , Lady Nurage and R&B artist like Mary J. Blige. We are from Mt. Vernon, NY. So the rough rider movement was very inspirational because we are from Westcher NY & RR is based out of Yonkers which is a neighboring town in youngers and MJB is from Yonkers so that movement was very important to us because that’s just where we are from.

We got a chance to sit down two on one to pick their brains to figure out what makes KIN4Life tick.

Nor: From Cypress Hill, Nas, Queen Latifah. There were a lot of arist out in the 90’s that affected my musical style. But I would say the biggest inspiration during the 90’s was my mother was a recording artist doing her independent music thing. She actually helped me write my first rhyme.

Q: Can you tell us about your origin story?

Q: Kin4Life.. Where did it come from?

A: IQ: Originally our name in 1999 was kin for the obvious def. Meaning family because we grew up together, same hometown, 4 square miles, one high school now two high schools. So it came from that and we came out with an album in 02 called Kin4Life Vol1 & we put that album out we toured around NY and travling to LA and going hard and people started associating that albulm, Kin4Life, as our name.

So when hever we did interview whenerver we had shows people now one would call us Kin the y would call us kin4life and instead of correcting people we stayed with Kin4life. So the fans named us. So fans have been and its stuck. People that are fans have been fans seince the concession of kin.

So once you become a fan of Kin you’re a fan for life.

Q: With Mount Vernon being known for its contribution to Hip Hop how do you think the dynamic of the community has changed during your lifetime..

A: Nor: Def Mount Vernon is the founding place for HipHop like you said. Thought that time we had a lot of artist come out on the independent level But Since Heavy D &TLC the peet rocks We haven’t had a lot of people come out since then. We hope that K$L will put MV back on the map. We have a lot of people ou thter trying to do thing but noody has taken tot the mainstream level recently. We have a lot of people bubling out they are trygint to do thing so shout out to the independent artist trying to make it out there.

IQ I hope to kind of change the trend of you know im not going to bring up Nor fav/unfav story of her running with pete rock. But I don’t want that to happen to us. I want to reach back into our community all those superstars that are from MV running down from heavy D, Pete rock , Didy lived in the same building that Nor & I lived in for a large portion of our lives Pulling up in the benley he’s not going to tell anyone that he went to school or was from MV. Because he was born in Harlem but he grew up in MV> What I despise is that all of those people that made such major contributions to hip hop in the 90’s they don’t reach back to where they are from. We really love where we are from and so I plan to continue to reach back to community and they wont ever have that issue with us. .

Q: In the next 5-10 years. Give me your picture of a utopian LGBT-friendly society.

A: Nor: I think it would be a place where people wouldn’t double take. & look at you funny. & make comments and judge you. You could pretty much be who you want to be.

Ultimately not have to hide from your friends and family not have to worry about getting hurt from people who may hate your b/c of your sexual orientation. That type of stuff. Just to a point where you could coexist equally with a straight person. How straight people live. They get to do whatever they want.

IQ: My utopia. Would be that everyone would stop whispering.

Like when our documentary came out on In the life in 2008.

All my GM best friends & church friends. Would be like “ You did so great on that show. Im proud of what”. Everyone is whispering why do you have to whisper. Why can’t you be proud out loud. Before I retired when I used to work

“MY DREAM FOR THE WORLD IS A WORLD IS A SOCIETY THAT STOPS WHISPERING ” for a major fortune 500 company . I wanted to get health insurance for my partner at the time. The HR rep drove to my office and was like “ We have tons of people like you in the office. We are going to domestic partnership” It was like a big whispering-ass meeting. Live out loud and live free. I can’t hear you whispering like that. So that is my utopian dream. A society that stops whispering.

Nor: SO you want everyone to scream.

IQ: Why does everyone lean really close to you and say” You guys are doing really great. You’re so brave”. Why can’t you tell me that from a normal level. Why are you so close to me. I need my personal space. Stop whispering. Nor: Nor: The anti-whispering movement has begun. I come from a family that whispers. For the record my mother is a professor .I would like to see LGBT studies where they talk about. A lot of people are not going to get that education at home or on TV. If LGBT studies were at state universities and city universities. That would be awesome.

Q: How did your family react when you came out to them.?

A: Nor: Initially in my household it’s pretty much my mother my brother and myself. My brother outed me to my mother.

He found a picture of a girl I was dating and she wrote some stuff on the back. And he felt. That is was his duty to tell our mother. When I did confirm it she wasn’t too happy. It caused a lot of friction in the house and a lot of separation I actually winded up being on probation. And I stopped going to school and everything. But, throughout the course of time she got used to it and realized that it wasn’t just a phase. She got to understand me some more and I stood my ground. We worked through it and she is very loving and accepting of my lifestyle. She loved women that I dated and she embraced them as if they were her own children. So it turned out for the better but in the beginning it was very rocky IQ: I was the first born and my father wasn’t in the house. He was like the w/e dad. My mother told me.

Nor: Moms. Where she kept trying to tell me why don’t you try it, which really irritated me. When I was 16 she would say.

“Well why don’t you try to have sex with [a boy], If you never had sex with a boy how do you know your gay. I love you no matter what I’m just saying . I told my mom “ I’m 16 who tells me at that age to go have sex”. That was a battle that is ongoing and just sparked up recently. Some guy tried to hit on me during easter. & while we out at the store she was still like “ your still not going to try it huh? She wont let it go but she still love me. She was supposed to be sure but, she would be like “ You’re really not going to do it ever ? . But that’s the only thing she can’t fathom is that part. But, she’s very supportive, loving a rock definitely. In the coming out process.. When I told her about us coming out . She told me

your mother loves you can’t nobody tell your mother nothing that she doesn’t know about you. So why do you care about what everyone else things. So do what you have to do. She’s a great support system..

Q: Do you get in resistance in the music industry for being females and lesbians.?

A: Yes and multiply what you can multiply it by.That’s why we haven’t crossed over to mainstream completely because everyone is afraid to touch a girl group that’s lesbian. It’s hard to be a female trying to get into rap especially if you’re not trying to put out that sexual appeal where you have your breast showing, the bathing suits and talking about sucking penis and everything you know. If you’re not putting out that type of record or that type of vibe then people don’t pay attention to you to begin with. Then being gay on top of that everyone is afraid. Everybody in the industry knows about kin4life and if they don’t then they have kind of head about us. It’s kind of the matter of who is willing to tae a chance. We just talked about this yesterday act. Some A&R’s have been discussing us amongst other people they are just waiting to see whose going to be to have the balls big enough to touch us. They have def said this b/c we are musicians and we work behind the scenes with producers and writers so we have penned a couple of gigs with artist that you may known over passing. They went and had a meeting with top A&R and said kin4life wrote this. We love them. Their music is dope. Let’s go and see whose going to have the balls to mess with them. They want to be all out and gay . Like literally A&R would have meetings at record labels saying omg you guys are dope but I can’t fuck you. Like Sony records, major record labels. Not any run of the mill record companies so we just keep fighting through it. Why change lets just keep fighting through it. They know who we are. [] It’s more of a double edged sword too. But until we came out the press wasn’t covering us as much. We’ve received some main stream publicity like PBS and MTV where our video got played and the in the life documentary for PBS. With us being lesbians has brought us a lot of attention too. So it hasn’t been a total shutdown for us. It has actually propelled us in some crazy way. But as far as being in the mainstream hip hop world, some people are just afraid. They know they know that we are coming. So somebody is going to open that door.

Q: In the gay HipHop world is there a division in between men and women?

A: Nor: We get so much tension for gay supporters. Gay men love us and we love them. It’s never been a thing where there has never been tension between. Lesbians Vs. the Gays. It’s just that promoters have separated LGBT parties therefore separating the crowd. How they promote the people and their parties they don’t make it all inclusive for everybody.

So that also separates the type of music you get to hear and the type of artist your exposed to so you know we have to have more parties that are all inclusive for everyone to put everyone together. So there def is a large division abs. But I love gay boys they love us. IQ We love our entire community.

That’s our goal is to get everyone rocking together we are

performing in the Dominican republic Inferno DR for the 2nd year in a row opening up for Marsha ambrosia and the first year we performed was the first year. Originally it was an all gay event in the DR. They asked us to come perform b/c they wanted to try to, shout out to Williams, they wanted to try to make it so that the women and the men could party together. So they invited us to get the women to the island and it was the first year women were there and it was highly successful. & that’s why we are coming back for year number 2 . It’s really on the promoter level, because artist who get paid by promoters to perform you see some of that on the artist level. You may reach out to try to do a song but the gay male artist may think that this may not go with my crowd and you guys don’t know anything and we don’t party together but, good music is good music. You put yourself in a box where the people that are making money off of you are categorizing you in. Let’s just make music. That’s all we are trying to do.

Q: Do you have any advice for people that are starting out in the music industry.?

A: Nor: Just keep doing your thing. Just be yourself and never try to fit into what the industry wants to make you. Don’t try to be cookie cut. Do try being a zombie be a real person.

Like real can recognize real. Fans can tell when you are being yourself. Kin4life has gone through many changes appearance wise. We went from never wearing makeup to wearing make changing how we dressed. That b/c we did it be/c we wanted to do it not b/c anyone ever made us do it. Don’t ever make anyone make you do something that you don’t want to do. Look good but be yourself. Never compromise your integrity. Never give up just keep pushing it. B/c you are going to get a lot of doors slammed in your face but that’s how it is you can’t let that knock you down.

You have to keep doing your thing. IQ Those wanting to get into the industry need to understand that this music industry has changed. Record labels, where we used to sell albums for $10 you’re lucky to get $2 or $.99 for singles.

For that reason there are no longer record labels out there scouting for you that doesn’t exist so study your craft know what it is that you want to do promote yourself. Read market, YouTube, everything that you need to do get your out there to those label, because they aren’t out there looking for you anymore. You have to make yourself. Available to been seen by them. Study, read and know the business.

Q: What was one of your biggest hurdles that you have overcome.?

A: Nor: The biggest hurdle was the image thing. b/c all of these top industry people , mostly male dominated, that we’ve met through our career has always tired to give us advice about our image/ You guys should wear thongs and tight pants and let us see a little bit of skin. That has been biggest hurdle b/c we feel like if I would change my clothes would I have already had a record deal. Or if I just put on a bathing suit would I already have a record deal. But then you think twice and say would wouldn’t want to do that. Ill just take the long road and do it my way and it will turn out a lot better. But that’s been my biggest hurdle with people

battling on how they want me to be and trying to be what I want to be IQ I would say that would be our mutual hurdle.

In addition to the clothes there are the whispers from inside your camp. You have to understand that people that don’t you can’t hurt you. It’s the people that care about you the most hurt you. When someone that you care about says to you “If you weren’t gay you would have been made it you need to quit” .. That is a monster hurdle. I am not afraid to jump over people I don’t care about. I’m not afraid to run over them kick them all of that but you can’t do that to someone you love and so I would say that everyone watching us for 12 years everyone that thinks they know what’s best for us and would say if you guys weren’t doing this, similar to the clothes, you would have made it.

for doing that track with us b/c it was so important It was a song written and produced by the KIN factory. We wanted to go for a we are the world feel b/c it’s a part of our life. Before I came out I did a fake suicide to tell my mother I was gay.

I‘ve been there before I walked in their shoes, and I wanted us to address it past the media hype. Because as you can see now its gets better is quiet nobody is talking about that anymore. We want to show people that we still care about it and it isn’t our fad its and everyday. We are here for our fans for our whole community if they need advice on who to go who to talk to we are here fighting for you and we want to put a light on your struggles b/c we were there and we still go through it today.

Q: Who was your biggest supporter & why ?

Q: Someone wrote a biography about kin 4 life what is the title?

A: IQ: I have something that comes to my mind and Nor would probably laugh because it was something said at my grandfathers funeral but it was “ We did it our way” .

Nor: I like that.

IQ: We changed our clothes when we wanted to changed our clothes. We put on makeup when we wanted to put on makeup. We took it off when we wanted to take it off. And we put out the records that we were proud of. That’s just what we did.

Nor: I concur.

Q: NYC or ATL? A: IQ: NYC. Nor You are trying to get us in trouble… NYC all the way. We live in Georgia don’t get us wrong. But we are from NY and New York is in our blood. You hear it in our accent you see it in the way we walk. In the way we dress.

The way we breathe. You can tell this is New York all-day.

But, the real estate market down here is crazy guys.

Q: Whats your Dream venue?

A: Hello we’re from New York, MSG. There is no stage that tells you that you made until you are standing on the stage of MSG. There is the Nokia Theater of there which is nice.

But I wouldn’t mind doing MSG. Q: How would you categorize your music ?

A: IQ: There really is no category for our music. We are a multi-genre group. We can go from drum & bass to electro…. from trance to hiphop & RB to pop. There is no box you can put us in. I would call it boxless music. Don’t put me in a box.

Nor: Boxless music I like that.

Q: Could you tell us a little about Lone Ranger?

A: IQ: Theology 101 was apart of that song as well as Tora Tores along with Nefertiti. So we want to thank our artist

A: Nor: Family, Especially our mothers from coming to shows, driving, being there trying to sell our merchandise. The cd’s the t-shirts, the stickers, the pins, whatever we were selling they would want to buy. This was our parents they had our back and always have our back. IQ Both of our moms, we call “ma” interchangeably. They have been supporting us from day one. Nor IQ’s grandmother definitely. Her grandparents have been grandparent to me as well. They support what we do. They helped us get started letting us build studio’s in their house. Helping fund stuff, driving us on trips. Making sure we had sandwiches to take with us on tour. IQ grandparents have been incredible. IQ My Grandma is stupid awesome. My mom’s mom let me build a studio in her house and not pay rent and let Nor be in their doing what she had to do even when I wasn’t home. We shot our first video in her house. My other grandmother, she makes cakes for our record release parties, she’s making the cakes she’s bringing the snacks. She’s buying the liquor. When we are away in LA and we aren’t eating she says’ put dinner on the credit card for us. We have an amazing family and we wouldn’t be where we are it today without them.

022 October 2012

Scan Here for Wade Davis Interview

Wade Davis The Interview Blackout got a little one on one time with recently recently retired gay NFL player and LGBT rights activist, Wade Davis. To give you a little background, Wade Davis spent four preseaons with three NFL teams and also played in NFL Europe. While playing in the NFL, Wade was a smart cornerback, who spent a lot of time studying and drawing up the defensive schemes he would need to get ahead. It took him years after leaving the NFL to be comfortable enough to reveal pubically that he was gay. During our interviews Wade shares it all. We get to know about the life he had to live while a playing in the NFL, coming out to friends and family and giving back to the community.

Q> A<

What was your best experience on the football field?

My best experience on the NFL was with Berlin Thunder, I was with NFL Europe at the time. That was my second year in the NFL and we had won the NFL championships overseas.

NFL Europe gave me the opportunity to be in a foreign country, travel and bond with my teammates was an amazing experience.

Q> A<

What qualities translated from being a football player tranlated in use in everyday life ?

I think one of the things I learned in football was from my coach is, “ What are you going to do when no one’s looking?” In the offseason am I training hard. In terms of my work in the LGBT community as an advocated it’s; What am I going to do for my community when no one’s watching, I’m not being interview or when the cameras aren’t watching. Am I still living the life to advance the rights of LGBT people.

October 2012 023

Q> A<

What was your most memorable moment playing straight while in the NFL?

One of the most memorable experiences was when I was training and went to a strip club with the team, I blew a lot of money. You try to act like how your teammates are acting. Or you try to act like the stereotypical man. If I’m acting like them no ones going to question my sexuality or my identity. The last thing I wanted was to be ostracized from my teammates who are my family the time. So spending money wearing oversized clothes, baggy jeans/t-shirts. I can pass as straight. You’re loosing who you are as a person.

Q> A<

Do you think it’s easier for athletes to come out now?

Q> A<

Did you have any support when you were growing up?

It’s getting easier because there are more conversations happening out there where allies are indicating that they have no problem having a gay teammate. As long as those coversations still keep happening, players will think that its okay to be gay and be and athlete.

My mother and sister were hard on me to go to school, get good grades and not just be a football player. I wish I had someone who was gay in my life to help me understand what it is to be a gay man. I think one of the biggest reasons why I took so long to come out of the closet was that I didn’t see anyone who looked like me or talked like me, who was gay. So I thought that being a football player and gay was not possible. So who I am deep down inside was not possible., so that was what I did. I did all the postures and the acting like a straight guy because thats what I thought the world wanted me to do and what the world would accept as.

Q> A<

How did your former team take you coming out?

A lot of my teammates now are mad because they said they would have been comfortable with me being gay. I think it’s easy to say that and I ‘m not saying that it may not be entirely true but there are always outside forces. When your on a team and if the star athletes says I’m not cool with Wade being gay everone would fall in line. I’m pretty sure a lot of people are okay with gay players but if there are one or two in position of power others will fall in line.

Q> A<

How was it like coming out ?

Coming out to myself was very different from coming out other people. When I was in highschool I realized it but I didn’t own it. Once I actually owned the fact that I was gay, was not until I stopped playing football. I allowed football to distract me from my sexuality that I didn’t own it until I moved to NYC. It

“I WISH I HAD THE TITLE OF GAY FOOTBALL PLAYER WHEN I WAS IN THE NFL BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE KNOWN THEN I WOULD HAVE BEEN LIVING IN MY TRUTH ”

was kinda of like a blinding light. Where you say wow. Like I’m really gay and I have to learn how to exist in this world now. In a world where I really didn’t exist in this world before. I did exist before as a straight man, but now I had to exist as a gay man.

It was one of those times where you have to reinsert yourself into the world for who you really. The hardest part was learning to love myself again. So much time I spent hating the fact that I was gay. & for lack of better words homophobic. When you try to exist in a world for something that your not you hate who you are and I hated myself for so long and the process to learn how to love myself again. It’s a process that so many people have to be involved in. Like my parents and my partner. It took so long to look in the mirror and say that I’m gay and that I love myself. So many people don’t understand the process. B/C to hate yourself since your 15/16 until your 24-26 that’s 10 yaers not loving and not be able to look into the mirror and say I love you.

Q> A<

Do you think coming out brought you closer to your family and friends?

Q> A<

How do you currently serve the community?

It hasn’t brought me closer to my parents. They are from the south and are extremely religious. My mom, dad and I are going through a transition. I want them in my life but I don’t need them in my life. It’s a scary moment, because I may not have a partnership with my parents because they won’t accept me for who I am. To own that and accept that is everyday is very frightenting. When you come out you have to have a support structure and I have that now with my friends and my partner.

However if you don’t and your parents don’t support you it could be heartbreaking.

I work at the Hetrick-Martin Institute its the funder of Harvey Milk HS. I am the director of Job readiness so I educate youth how to get a job, how to maintain a job and how the job they are working in will help them towards their career. I also teach a class on male empowerment. It was a challenge at first to determien how can I inspire youth of color to undersand the importance of education and also help them define success for themselves. Adults usually paint a picture for success for youngerster. I give them the tools to help you along their own journey of success

Writer: Monica Navarro, SN, BSN

Q.

‘‘CROHNS DISEASE” WHAT IT’S LIKE LIVING WITH THE DISEASE FOR GAY AND BISEXUAL MEN THE TABOO TOPIC?

A.

I am writing this article because there is a great need for more research to be done on (Crohns)?

When I was younger Crohns was thought of to predominately occur in people of Ashkenazic Jewish origin but new data is showing a change in people who are getting diagnosed with Crohns. Some people like myself have found out they do have Jewish ancestry but there is a large amount of people who have no connection. New information is showing the number of people affected by the disease is not just Caucasian people. It is affecting people of all races and ages and gender and sexual orientation. It is not just common in Northern climates and Europe anymore as once thought to be believed. The numbers are increasing in the U.S especially among African Americans Crohns disease does affect the LGBT community. I know you are already asking yourself what is Crohns disease.

Crohns disease is a form of (IBD) Inflammatory Bowel Disease. That is described as a condition with chronic or recurring immune responses and inflammation of the gastrointestinal tract. The most common two types of inflammatory bowel disease is ulcerative colitis and Crohns disease. The two illnesses have one strong feature in common. They are marked by an abnormal response by the body’s immune system. Normally, the immune cells protect the body from infection. In people with IBD, however, the immune system mistakes food, bacteria, and other materials in the intestine for foreign substances and it attacks the cells of the intestines. In this process, the body sends white blood cells into the lining of the intestines where they produce chronic inflammation. When this happens, the patient experiences the symptoms of IBD. There are other diseases that affect the gastrointestinal tract such as Irritable Bowel Syndrome which affects gastrointestinal motility sometimes called “spastic colon” or nervous stomach and is not nearly as debilitating as IBD . IBS ultimately can be cured unlike IBD.

026 October 2012 IBD has so many symptoms that affect the whole body ranging from watery stools to fatigue to tongue and mouth ulcers, abdominal cramping, rectal bleeding and some. It can affect your eyes, liver, skin and joints.

Ulcerative colitis is a chronic gastrointestinal disorder that is limited to the large bowel (the colon). Ulcerative colitis does not affect all layers of the bowel, but only affects the top layers of the colon in an even and continuous distribution. . Loss of appetite and subsequent weight loss are common, as is fatigue. In cases of severe bleeding, anemia may also occur Both illnesses can be treated with medications. The difference is Surgery becomes necessary in Crohn’s disease when medications can no longer control the symptoms.

Crohns disease in today’s world is very different from what it used to be, it’s not just considered the Jewish Disease. Crohns disease affects people of all ages and genders. More drugs are available but more research still needs to be done. One topic that might be taboo to talk about when it comes to crohns disease is the affects it has on bisexual and gay men who sleep with men.

Having crohns disease can cause inflammation in the gastrointestinal tract. This can cause ulcers, open sores in areas of the bowel. This can also happens in the mouth, genitals and anus. People who have crohns disease can often times have problems having a bowel movement. This can lead to (anal fissures) which are small cracks in the anus and surrounding skin. Because of this penetration for both men and woman can be risk behavior and lead to STI’s. Men who have sensitive genital and anal tissue should use lubrication. Practicing safe sex, using condoms and other barrier methods can help men stay safe and healthy.

There are a number of different treatments for Crohns Disease a doctor may prescribe to help with the symptoms mentioned above. Doctors will prescribe anti- inflammatory drugs or immune system suppressors. Antibiotics may be prescribed to alleviate symptoms such as ulcers, bloating, abdominal pain and nausea. Nutritionist and dietitian recommend eating small meals so that your digestive system is not over worked. Nutritionist and dietitian also recommend drinking plenty of fluids and taking a multivitamin. Limiting the amount of fatty foods and dairy when having diarrhea is something they also recommend.

Having a PCP (Primary Care Physician) along with a GI (Gastroenterologist) are essential in helping manage the disease along with other specialist. Examples of other specialist are ENT (Ears Nose and Throat) doctor, Ophthalmologist (Eye doctor).Crohns Patient should also have a nutritionist to help with diet.

Gay and bisexual men do not have to fear having anal sex .Taking the necessary steps will also help making sure that their partner understands. Having a conversation with you partner about crohns and anal sex. There are other options besides anal sex if you chose not to have anal sex.

I want to help all the suffers of Crohns disease.I created a face book page and blog to help educate people even on topics that might be taboo.My face book page is Crohns Disease Awareness (Mr.E’s Crohns Disease Awareness page) My blog is (Mr-E – info.com). I am working to spread awareness and get funding and research for crohns disease. I started a business to ensure that people will have a place to go when looking for information and place to just speak about whats on in their minds or how they are feeling.I want everyone to feel welcome. My website will launch early Feb 2013 (Mr-es-place.com).I want people to be able to have a place to go where they can get the information they need and have a better understand than myself and those that were diagnosed before me.People will be saying one remember the fight the struggle for a cure. Remember how crohns used to consume your life. People will be saying remember the dream, we dream no more. compared to 5,700 in men every year in the United States. In addition, African-Americans are at higher risk than other races and ethnicities. See graph below.

October 2012 027

W

Our lives out in the world

ho would have thought the weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve

identify with. We still have a long way to go to see more than

come to where we can open a

the stereotypical image from our community. OutLife is here

book , listen to music, turn on the

highlighting shows, movies, books you need to read, artist you

television and even go into a movie

need to hear.

theatere now and see someone that our community can

For Colored Boys Keith Boykin The new book, For Colored Boys, addresses longstanding issues of sexual abuse, suicide, HIV/AIDS, racism, and homophobia in the African American and Latino communities and more specifically among young gay men of color. The book tells stories of real people coming of age, coming out, dealing with religion and spirituality, seeking love and relationships, finding their own identity in or out of the LGBT community, and creating their own sense of political empowerment.

For Colored Boys, is designed to educate and inspire those seeking to overcome their own obstacles in their own lives.

ShortComings Daryl Stephens The novel follows a group of young men whose lives intersect around the notion that sex is just another means to an end in the ultimate quest for love and companionship. They turn to dive bars, drug habits, pop music and pornography to cope with the loneliness they suffer when they find their emotional well-being dependent on the support and understanding of other men. SHORTCOMINGS is a provocative and compelling glimpse into those intensely personal moments when men come together and allow fear to finally give way to love.

good.books

028 October 2012 The LA Complex the CW This show follows the lives of twenty year olds living in the same apartment complex in L.A., trying to follow their dreams to be actors, dancers, producers and standup comedians.

Whats interesting is the storyline following DL star rapper, Kaldrick King (Andra Fuller) and his developed love interest in a young male intern Tariq (Benjamin Charles Watson). These two have have been in quite a demand being the central topic by most viewers of the show.

The New Normal NBC This new series brings true of he ultimate “Modern Family” as gay couple Bryan (Andrew Rannells) and David ( Justin Bartha) set out to make their perfect lives complete by having a baby. Their dream comes true when Goldie (Georgia King), an extraordinary young woman with a “not so perfect” past enters their life.

Realizing that she is so much better off away from her current predicaments in Ohio, Goldie leaves to be the surrogate of the lovely gay couple. This show is new, funny and exciting to watch as the antigay, Xenophobe grandmother of Goldie’s, Jane (Eilien Barkin).

Downtown LA Logo DTLA tells the story of a diverse group of friends, all at crossroads in their lives. DTLA depicts the relationships of seven friends with varied ethnic, cultural, and sexual orientations who work and live in the vibrant community of Downtown Los Angeles. It is a story of love, friendship, loyalty, and being true to oneself no matter what the cost. It is the first dramatic series with gay leads since “Queer as Folk,” “Noah’s Arc,” and “The L Word.” DTLA is premiering on Logo.

BRICKS Online We have to show love to our web series.

Bricks is a reality show about 9 gay black guys, working in New York City, striving to make their dreams and careers come true in THE BIG APPLE. The trailer for this series is out already to look at on Youtube. This is a new reality drama series, and we can not wait for their next steps.

good.shows

DramaQueenz Online We have to show love to our web series.

Drama Queenz follows the lives of three roommates, Jeremiah, Davis and Preston.

Through madcap auditions, burgeoning romances, and heartbreaking realizations the trio from Queens takes viewers on the zany roller coaster ride that is the actor’s life.

Each episode is fun, entertaining and full of unexpected events.

October 2012 029

Elliot Loves Terracino

Children of God

“Its tough being special. Once you’re special you’re always going to be special and there’s nothing you can do about it. So, you gotta be tough.”

-Aunt Carmen

Kareem Mortimer This story is a romantic drama following the interactions of two young Bahamian men, Johnny (Johnny Ferro) and Romeo (Stephen Tyrone Williams) who fall in love with each other. The back drop is during the height of the Bahamas going through an antigay revolution in response to Rosie O’Donells gay family cruise ship arriving in Bahamian waters.

The storyline follows the journey of the two lovebirds, and the tumultuous journey dealing with homophobia.

Elliot Loves tells two seemingly disparate stories: that of nine year-old Dominican-American Elliot Ayende (Fabio Costaprado), who is the best friend and sidekick to his young single mother; and one summer in the life of Elliot, now 21 years-old and enduring a string of comically, unhealthy relationships. Both stories explore the universal need to be loved and understood.

Spork J.B. Ghuman This story follows an intersexed frizzy-haired, pink-cheeked outcast named Spork who is trying to navigate her way through Junior High.

After getting picked on for being intersex, she has had enough. A talent show provides the stage for her to take a stand against a group of bullies. This film is funny as it addresses the issue of bullying.

TheSkinny Patrick Ian Polk From the creator of Noahs Arc, Patrick Ian Polk delivers another fantastic movie, The Skinny. The Skinny follows 5 friends, 4 gay men and 1 lesbian who are Brown University alumni that are reconnecting a year later after graduation for New York’s Gay Pride Week. This week is not only fun filled but has drama as Patrick addresses prevalent issues that surround the black gay community. This storyline takes us deep into conversations of sex, being black and gay, HIV, rape and what friendship means.

Finding Me Truth Roger S. Omeus

This is the second installment of the Finding Me series following the sweet, bright-eyed and emotionally vulnerable Faybien (Raytell Moore).

Finally, comfortable with his sexuality but burned with self esteem issues, we see the chaos brewing in his life as he deals with loosing his ex who suddenly returns back in his life. Faybien life is not the only drama factory in production, his best friends Amera (J’Nara Corbin) and Greg ( Eugene Turner) have their own relationship problems. Greg is cheating on his current boyfriend with Amaras cousin, and highstrung Amara is certain that her boyfriend is cheating on her. Following through from Finding me, Finding Me continues the emotional ride.

good.movies

1

030 October 2012

2

3

5

good.music

4

1. Loco Ninja 2. Brynâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t 3. Kin4Life 4. Diana Kingdom 5. Solomon

October 2012 031

The Gay in Women Women are beautiful. In how many cases that we were told to believe that all women were to love each other like sisters? How about if the lady reading this would say that she happens to love women just a bit more than a sister? She loves her so much that she wishes to do unspeakable things— As if homosexuality is unspeakable. Whether it was outside in the open or in “7 minutes of heaven closets”, women love other women. It’s only natural.

While women were sometimes in circumstances to learn how to become a proper mother and housewife to a man, I would easily bet that some were pondering on how the neighborhood lady would look like without a corset. The irony of this thought is that this mentality of women (along with the exchange of a corset for a body shaper), still very much exists. There is also the fact if a woman was considered as socially “unfit to belong” or just downright strange, she would live in isolation in order to protect herself for the choices she’s made, and the person she accepted herself to be. Sometimes being a lesbian and a divorced woman with no children of a certain age belong on the same branch.

There are societies that would judge a woman’s status harsher than a man’s, even after the age of feminism, women are still considered to take part of the nurture role in a household and the man would be the breadwinner. But we know today that women play many gender roles for the sake of an evolving society. Therefore, the imagination gives different images of a lesbian which could be unsuspected by the social archetypes.

Another issue that happens for women loving other women is that there could be a sense of isolation or seclusion. Heterosexual women sometimes perceive the homosexual women as a threat or cannot find themselves relatable to them. The interesting side of this issue is that when a lesbian, on the outside, blends into the appearances of the straight women and never mentions her sexual orientation, her social problems with other women could be covered up. But if a lesbian is of the butch type, straight women may find themselves not being able to relate to her because of her appearance or demeanor without discovering that she might have some good recipes to share. Among women, there had been always a miscommunication and have a habit to judge right away among one another, when really, sexual orientation is the only thing that may separate between the heterosexual women and the homosexuals women. Women, as a whole, are capable of being contributors of society no matter if the roles they choose are of the feminine or the masculine variety. Women are allowed to choose the identity that best suits them— don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.

But whether its parents, friends, religion or just society— be proud to be a lesbian. As a woman, you can get away with playing multiple roles and be different female archetypes all with one body. As a woman, you are allowed to choices; therefore, there are many designs to represent a woman’s beauty that would be considered as equally as artistic.

Represent YOURS. You are allowed to be liberated to who you are and show your beauty from the inside out.

“WOMEN, AS A WHOLE, ARE CAPABLE OF BEING CONTRIBUTORS OF SOCIETY NO MATTER IF THE ROLES THEY CHOOSE ARE OF THE FEMININE OR THE MASCULINE VARIETY.”

032 October 2012

Inspiration Personified BLACKOUT’S IS ON A MISSION TO EMPOWER A POSITIVE IMAGE FOR LGBT PEOPLE OF COLOR

There is inspiration all around us every second.

However, we get caught up in our own lives unconscious too all the exciting things going around us. BlackOut’s Inspiration personified is here to make your job that much easier to realize all that is going on. Following BlackOut’s mission, “ To Empower a positive image for LGBT people of color,” we felt that there was no better way than to empower us than to inspire us.

So in every issue BlackOut will feature a number of individuals in our community that are making an impact.

Some will be people that you know and a majority will be people that you do not know. Shining light on their impact to the community we know that their contributions will inspire the desire to give back.

Let us know what your doing to make an impact to the community email us at ContactUs@shuomii.com.

”NEVER BE BULLIED INTO SILENCE. NEVER ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE MADE A VICTIM. ACCEPT NO ONE’S DEFINITION OF YOUR LIFE; DEFINE YOURSELF.”

Harvey Fierstein

Wade Davis

October 2012 033

‘‘Donec dignissim iaculis tortor, sit amet volutpat diam hendrerit vel.

Ut sodales, sapien nec.’’

Wade Davis is one of the few people from the athletic arena that have come out to the world. He not only came back, but he is giving back to the community and inspiring the lives of youth.

Wade Davis is a nationally-recognized speaker, activist, writer and educator. Davis is a former NFL football player who played for the Tennessee Titans, Washington Redskins and Seattle Seahawks, as well as two different teams within the NFL Europe league.

Since retiring, he has owned a media business through a partnership with the New York Times called InMotion Media, but currently he works at the Hetrick Martin Institute (HMI) as the Assistant Director of Job Readiness.

At HMI, he teaches at-promise youth how to define success for themselves and thrive in society. His writings and interviews have appeared on Huffington Post, The NY Times, Out Sports, TheGrio.com, and other media outlets, like President Obama’s Whitehouse blog. He has appeared on NPR, CNN and BET.

He is also an LGBT Surrogate for President Obama. In the role of surrogate, he speaks at events on behalf of the President. Also, he is a member of the GLSEN sports advisory board where he advocates to create safe spaces for LGBT youth.

034 October 2012

Dan Choi ‘‘Donec dignissim iaculis tortor, sit amet volutpat diam hendrerit vel.

Ut sodales, sapien nec.’’

We selected Dan Choi because not too long ago our cofounder, Elijah Li, was a cadet at West Point Military Academy during the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell (DADT) policy was activte.

Elijah Li left because DADT was a witch hunt back then but thanks Lt. Dan Choi for taking a stand and making a difference.

Lt. Dan Choi is a combat veteran of the Iraq War, an infantry officer, a graduate of the United States Military Academy at West Point, an Arabic Linguist and a gay rights activist.

Lt. Choi was honorably discharged under the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy in 2010, after 10 years of honorable service in the US Army.

He came out on national television on March 18, 2010 as a founder of the West Point LGBT Alumni Organization, “Knights Out” and the US Army immediately began discharge proceedings against him. They even threatened to take away his veterans benefits and force him to pay back his tuition (~ $300,000). He has been quite the advocate for the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, making Russia a safer place for the LGBT community and the environmental protection of America.

Ivette Ale

October 2012 035

2012 Winner

Bex Wade, www.bexwade.com

We love Ivette Ale because dominated the Queer of the Year 2012 contest being the only female and only person of color in the finalist.

Ivette González-Alé is an entrepreneur, fashion designer, party producer and selfdescribed queer housewife. The CubanMexican bombshell is the co-founder and Creative director of Marimacho, a genderqueer clothing company based in Brooklyn. She is also the co-founder of La Joteria, the production team behind Azucar, New York’s award winning Latin dance party.

Ivette’s thoughts and experiences are candidly captured as part of The Peculiar Kind, a web series that explores the lives of queer women of color. When she is not designing, producing or filming, she is involved in community organizing, particularly around queer-femme visibility. Ivette believes fashion, music, art and food are all vehicles for change and intends on making them accessible to her community in radical ways.

036 October 2012

Janet Mock

We selected Janet Mock because she is a writer and advocate, who publicly shared her teenage transition story in Marie Claire and a video testimony for the It Gets Better project in 2011.

A native of Honolulu, Hawaii, Janet speaks out about the portrayal, struggles and triumphs of transgender women, founded and runs the digital campaign #GirlsLikeUs to empower trans women, and wrote about her quest to live visibly in Fish Food: A Memoir, which will be published by Atria Books in October 2013. She also tells stories from her life on her blog and hosts a relationship podcast called The Missing Piece with her boyfriend Aaron Tredwell.

A graduate of the University of Hawaii and New York University’s graduate school of journalism, Janet lives and writes in New York City, where she’s covered pop culture and entertainment as Staff Editor at People. com for more than five years. She serves on the programs committee at the HetrickMartin Institute, where she’s building the LGBTQ youth center’s transgender-specific programming, creating resources and services for young trans women. She also served as co-chair, nominee and presenter at the 2012 GLAAD Media Awards and will be honored with the Sylvia Rivera Activist Award by the Sylvia Rivera Law Project in November 2012.

October 2012 037

Wilson Cruz

Wilson Cruz is an actor that everone has seen in atleast on of his movies or television shows. If you don’t know him from the silver screen you know him because of his work in the community.

Wilson Cruz was born in Brooklyn, New York to parents of Afro-Puerto Rican descent.

At age 19, Cruz came out to his parents as gay, first to his mother and then his father. While his mother was initially hurt and shocked, she eventually accepted the news. His father, however, threw him out of the house, and Cruz spent the next few months living in his car and

at the homes of friends.

After coming out to his parents, Cruz went to Hollywood to seek work as an actor, intending to be open about his sexuality from the beginning of his career. In 1994 he was cast as Enrique “Rickie” Vasquez, a troubled gay teen, in the short-lived critically acclaimed cult classic TV series My So-Called Life. In one episode (entitled “So-Called Angels”) drawn from Cruz’s own life, Rickie comes out to his family, who throw him out of the house.

038 October 2012

Writer: Travis Madison

Lying still Staring at my skin Naked in its infant glory.

Yesterday I was luke warm wrapped in secrecy today I am cold.

Utterly exposed.

They went looking for my bones so I seized with rapid hesitation my bodies proclamation to speak its dying mind.

In all dreary premonitions I never saw my self alive.

So here I lye rolling in a fire, like a Phoenix on the rise In open air Wiping my wings clean.

I see life with un Closeted eyes.

Knowing the future and this Truth is mine.

Coming Out:

October 2012 039

Realizations “Just close your eyes and relax,” he said. “All men do this with their children.” However, I soon realized these were not the typical actions of men. His distinguishing features continued to disturb my thoughts. His beady eyes still created an unsettling feeling in my stomach. The slightest sound of his baritone makes my skin tremble. This unfortunate experience occurred for nearly two years, and since I was a child, I felt powerless and without a voice. Although I did not realize the value behind this experience at the time, law school and life educated me on its importance. I made a promise to never let anyone silence my voice again, and to always advocate for those who may not feel comfortable. Sixteen years later, I finally have the courage to say, “I am a sexual abuse survivor!” This sexual assault on my human rights was a catalyst for me to declare my commitment to civil rights, constitutional law, and public service.

Hello all – my name is Preston Mitchum and it is true, I am queer and I am black; yes, the two are not mutually exclusive. I have been queer from birth; I came into the full realization at the age of 15 when I was a little more than just physically attracted to someone of the same-sex in my high school. Feelings clouded my head with joy, happiness, nervous energy, coupled with constant fears of going to Hell from what I was taught as an abomination from hypocritical preachers who were caught in other scandals. This high school crush turned into something much more. A “good morning” text at 7:00 a.m., ending with an occasional visit to surprise me at night made me smile from ear-to-ear. Could this be love? It was certainly more than simple attraction and was much more than I could handle; it was the first time, I felt my heart skip several beats the moment I saw a beautiful smile on such an angelic face. But I had to question myself and what I was feeling inside since I only heard young boys refer to women in the same manner, and I was thought of this young man. So I sat quiet – positive on the outside; attempting to emulate “masculinity” on the outside; but depressed on the inside.

In undergrad at Kent State University, I met several people who I connected with on a multitude of levels. Everyone seemed to essentially like me, and it was something that made me happy.

Though “popularity” should have been of no concern to me, I was 18, still impressionable, and believe me, admitting my sexuality would get in the way of being elected to student government or being on Homecoming court. Already being Black at an 86% White school, I didn’t want me being queer to have that same or similar negative affect. Still, with homophobia, effemiphobia, and religious fundamentalism running rampant with some members in some Black Greek organizations (you know who you are), it caused me to think – a lot about masculinity and acceptance.

Who was I? Who was the person I wanted to become? Again, however, I told a few people, promised them to secrecy, and said I wanted to “come out” own my own terms.

And boy, did I come out on my own terms. During my 1L year at North Carolina Central University School of Law, I immediately felt accepted. I bonded with groups of people and it felt like my new home. Moving from Ohio to North Carolina made me realize that I could be myself and allow people to take me or leave me.

I decided to come out on National Coming Out Day that year in October. I felt so refreshed that it did not seem to have a negative effect on people who wanted to get to know. Still, something

was missing and I knew what it was – the lack of discussion or race, gender, and sexual orientation in the Black community.

Being in law school where we rarely discussed LGBT equality, shocked me and left me isolated and disappointed. Sure, we had Outlaw Alliance, which I was an active member, but that organization still had more white members; and at a historically black law school; I was disturbed. What were the Black students so afraid of? As Tonya Davis Barber and I thought, “Straight people didn’t want people to think they are gay, and gay people didn’t want others to know they are gay.” This left us in a rather uncomfortable situation. Though I was happier and becoming more comfortable with myself, it was something off-putting about an entire school with only three “out” Black men. Where was our power? Did we even know we had it to begin with?

Since I had recently came out, I couldn’t make a “call to action” for others to do the same; that would be pretty hypocritical. So I thought and I thought. Though, I have always been a social and political activist, this was mainly around “Black issues” and not “Gay issues.”

At American University Washington College of Law, Professor Darren Hutchinson taught me about the danger of separating the two groups – “they work together . . . intersectionality is important.” Wow, I thought! This is exactly what I needed to hear. This entire time I never realized that the “black versus gay” rhetoric unintentionally isolated one group – the Black LGBT community. This is when I began reading, researching, and writing about the dynamics of the Black LGBT community.

Though we are thought not to exist, we do.

Coming from a city and school where being gay was never discussed, imagine my surprise when Professor Hutchinson told me about the National Black Justice Coalition (NBJC), an civil rights organization, headquartered in Washington, DC, dedicated to the Black lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community. Months later, the National Coalition of LGBT Health told me they were sponsoring me for the Third Annual “Out on the Hill 2012 Black LGBT Leadership Summit.” Out On the Hill was the most life-changing experience of my young life.

During the leadership summit, I met both “inexperienced” and “experienced” social and political activists, doctors, attorneys, CEOs, politicians, educators, and artists/musicians. One thing was clear – everyone came with a purpose; that purpose was to advance the civil rights and liberties of the Black lesbian, gay/ queer, bisexual, and transgender communities. The joy I am now feeling in my heart cannot be matched. From the White House briefing to issue advocacy day to the town-hall discussions to the various panels to the receptions and to our own late night on the town, this is one experience I will never forget and it is all thanks to the National Black Justice Coalition. NBJC works tirelessly to combat both homophobia and racism and has been doing a wonderful job, especially under the leadership of Mrs. Sharon Lettman-Hicks. I am honored and humbled to be sponsored to attend this leadership summit. I learned that though queer and black, it is necessary for me to just . . . BE. Be me. Be fierce. Be all of me. My spirit is full of joy and I have a renewed energy.

To my family, friends, my Creator, NBJC, mentors, and supporters – I salute you. Today, I thank all of you!

LifeofArt Visuals The essence of all beutiful art, all great are is gratitude. With everything going on in the world we have to come from a standpoint of being blessed.

So in every issue BlackOut will feature artist, photographers, playwrights in our Life Of Art section.

Shining light on their impact to the community we know that their contributions will inspire the desire to give back.

If you have artwork in the form of illustrations, comics, plays, photos please submit your ContactUs@shuomii.com.

In Life of Art we are featuring artist from our community, JunJun and photographer Katia Ruiz.

Each artist gives us something new and refreshing using ordinary items & concepts.

â&#x20AC;?THE ESSENCE OF ALL BEAUTIFUL ART, ALL GREAT ART IS GRATITUDEâ&#x20AC;?

Fredrich Nietzche

Sergio Wonder Vest: Butch Diva Sunglasses: Mercura Sunglasses Stylist: Coco Bella

042 October 2012

Chicago Portraits JunJun- Sta Artist

Jun-Jun Sta. Ana lives in Chicago and has shown extensively across the U.S. and the Philippines including 3 museum shows at the Portsmouth Museum of Art for” iImage: The Uncommon Portrait”, “The Wahana Exhibition” at the Vargas Museum in Manila, and “IDentity 1”, a solo show at the Negros Museum in Bacolod City, Philippines.

He was a finalist at the public art competition of the Chicago Transit Authority call for the Fullerton Station of the Brown Line train; shortlisted for the 1st Ateneo Art Awards; and was the recipient of the Avellana Art Gallery Tower 4 residency in 2011.

The new series of portraits continues the artist’s exploration on the the subject of perception & identity, using strangers as subjects, and layering them with texts which merely pretend to give clues on the subject’s identity. The subjects were after the portrait is finished, in order to get to work instinctively using only the image of the subject as basis, devoid of any opinion or impression on what the subject is actually like in reality.

This exercise continues on with the viewers, to see how the texts and symbols affect their own perception of the subjects.

044 October 2012

October 2012 045

Katia Ruiz Photographer kncamera@gmail.com

This is the Premise that we came up with for As New York City increasingly becomes the series... gentrified, individual experience influences the way people relate to the city. Residents, tourists, Concrete Jungle is a photo shoot inspired by and fashion savvy people alike find muses from some of New York City’s most cutting-edge, the environment surrounding them. This has artsy neighborhoods. These span across created many pockets of people specializing in Williamsburg, BedStuy, Soho, Harlem, Lower their inspiration. New Yorkers are some of the East Side, and a few others. Many of these most expressive and creative people recognized areas are often perceived to be unattractive, in the world. dangerous, and a contributing factor to the lowered property value in many Brooklyn Concrete Jungle, creates the stage for a neighborhoods. Others such as residents, new perspective on New York City. With the visionaries, and artists believe that these combination of edgy designs, models who reflect neighborhoods are the epicenter of inspiration the “out of the box” style of many residents, and limitless art. People of color, immigrants, sharp accessories, and landscapes we aim members of the LGBTQIQ community, Queer to capture the magic. Concrete Jungle will be Identified people, under paid workers, are just highlighting neighborhoods such as Bedford some of the faces of these communities.

Stuyvesant, Red Hook, and East NY. All these areas have an enriching history that is often overlooked due to stigma. Gentrification is one of the biggest challenges that many low income areas in NYC struggle with due to racism, and has drastically grown since the recession that our country is currently facing. It is often assumed that the development of new business in order to attract those of a higher economic bracket is the answer.

Through the eyes of a designer, new conceptions are brought to life. With an impeccable team of stylists, photographers, and models this photoshoot will set the stage for the latest set of trends. Catch a glimpse into the life of some of the cities’ up-and-coming fashion designers, stylists, and photographers.

L

Chanika Dress: Nippy Laverne Shoes: Stiletto Swap LLC Stylist: Carlton Rolle

Tyler Charmichael Bowtie: Ambiance Couture Bowties Stylist: Sandy Thevin

R

R

Tokyo Nippy Laverne bra shorts Stiletto Swap Makeup Ari Fuentes of Fay Elegance Hair Tree Alexander Accessories: Accessory Fix Frankie White Style Coco Bella Harukah Salt Bra by Nippy Laverne Makeup Ari Fuentes of Fay Elegance Hair Tree Alexander Style Carlton Rolle

L

Sergio Wonder Bow Tie- BowToy Pants: Divide and Conquer e:Tlarot85@gmail.com Stylist: Coco Bella e:cocobella0427@gmail.com London Devaue Body Jewelry Stiletto Swap Makeup Coco Bella Accessories: Accessory Fix Frankie White Hair Tree Alexander Style Coco Bella

Sergio Wonder Bow Tie: BowToy Pants: Divide & Conquer e: Tlarot85@gmail.com Stylist: Coco Bella e:cocobella0427@gmail.com

THE CODE

Rule Two: Check the facts before you catch your new girlfriend with her current husband. #CarFax

October 2012 0049

Q>A

Got any questions you want to ask us? Simply email us at askMrK@shuoMii.com and we’ll publish the best questions with relevant answers. Each issue we’ll highlight the Question of the Month — best questions wins a prize!

Q>

Where can I get resources to assist me with coming

out to my parents?

A<

Coming

out

to

your

parents and even friends

and family can be stressful. One of the biggest resources is Parents & Friends of Lesbians and Gays, PFLAG. CheckOut their site http://community.pflag.org for various resources including dealing with being out during the holidays.

Q>

Are there safe spaces where I can meet people

that I can identify with, talk to, or get mentored?

A<

In alot of cities there are LGBT centers. In New York

City for instances, theres Gay Mens Health Crisis (GMHC) , Gay Men of African Descent (GMAD) just to name a few. The best place to inquire is to check online.

Q> A<

LGBT Dating.. Where do I even start or look?

While being LGBT is not all about sex or relationships,

dating is certainly an integral part

Q>

If I want to work at a company that is LGBT

friendly where can I look?

A<

The best resources to check out is from HRC Buyer’s

of most single people’s lives. The

Guide for LGBT-Friendly Companies,

internet has indescribably houses alot

at

of options available. But before you

Oher options are to see if the company

begin, have a sense of what you’re

you are interested in has a diversity

looking for. For men alot of sites are

page where they usually mention what

more sex oriented so you maybe better

they dedicated to creating in the work

off directly searching for what interest

environment.

you. Also LGBT events, like outings or even a party maybe a better place to start.

http://www.hrc.org/BuyersGuide.

Q>

Whats a good resource for someone who identifies

as transgender?

Q> A<

How does being LGBT and being religous work out?

A<

One of the best thought out resources is www.

Religion is a tricky issue

tsroadmap.com. This site has alot of

to converse about. I’m not

information dealing holistically with

goign to lie, but many people raised

the transition as far as your well-being,

in communities of faith leave their

physical changes, sexuality and youth

traditions due to real or perceived

issues as well.

discrimination. If religion or spirituality is

important

to

you,

checkout

http://www.gaychurch.org to help you find a community of faith.

9 GAY GUYS WORKING IN NEW YORK CITY MAKING THEIR DREAMS AND CAREERS COME TRUE