December 2018

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BULLYING BUILT ME INTO A GEM

PIECING TOGETHER A LIFE TORN APART by bullying

Project: Kindness Club

FEATURING UNCOMMON GIRL 16-YEAR-OLD CYNTHIA CASTILLO

UNCOMMON NOTES LOVING WITHOUT FEAR UNCOMMON

THRIFT STORE FINDS

COVER MODEL: BROOKLYN HOLBROOK

FOLLOW US ON IG [uncommongirlmag]

contents december 2018

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A MESSAGE FROM THE CO-FOUNDERS MORGAN KAWAKAMI & SARAH WILSON ‘TIS THE SEASON OF ANTICIPATION!

UNCOMMON NOTES LETTERS FROM OUR READERS LOVING WITHOUT FEAR

UNCOMMON THREADS THRIFT STORE FINDS COVER MODEL: BROOKLYN HOLBROOK

BULLYING BUILT ME INTO A GEM PIECING TOGETHER A LIFE TORN APART BY BULLYING

UNCOMMON GIRL CYNTHIA CASTILLO PROJECT: KINDNESS CLUB

WWW.UNCOMMONGIRLMAG.COM

It is crazy to think that just a few short months ago this magazine was just an idea. From dream, to design and now reality! Welcome to Uncommon Girl! It seems as though this season for Sarah and I has been all about anticipation as we’ve watched our dream come to life. ‘Tis the season of anticipation right now for you too! All the joyous hustle and bustle. Visiting with family you may only see once a year. Making memories that will last a lifetime. We hope that in this season, you are able to sit down and enjoy as those highly anticipated moments come to life! We challenge you to soak in every second, savor the scenes around you, and enjoy the season God has you in. I know we are!

Morgan Kawakami & Sarah Wilson Uncommon Girl Magazine Co-founders

W R I T T E N B Y: G A B R I E L A M I R A N D A As the new year approaches, many use this time to reflect on the past year’s mistakes, moments and goals for the next 365 days. Each new year, the media and others create slogans of what the new year will stand for.

This year I am proclaiming it will be, “2019: Year for the Uncommon Girls.”

Each of you reading this are uncommon girls.

An uncommon girl is beautifully flawed, she is shining in God’s light and she is strong in His word. An uncommon girl is every young girl reading this searching for a community, for support or clarity. This is your year.

Many times as a new year starts, I become reminded of my mistakes as well as the baggage and fears I’m carrying over. It’s so easy to be overwhelmed with self-doubt about what you can accomplish and overcome. However, the shame and pain of last year does not have to roll over into 2019. Let go of your baggage! Be free and trust in the support only God provides.

As crippling as anxiety or doubt can be, God is stronger. Before, I focused all my energy on new year resolutions and reflections on what I’ve done wrong. I made lists of my mistakes and small goals to accomplish in the new year. I let my fear and shame lower my expectations and faith in myself. I forgot that I had the greatest support system, friend and protector on my side.

Psalm 46:5 says, “ God is within her, she will not fall.”

This verse was created especially for uncommon girls. Write it in all your notebooks, your phone and mark it in your bibles! God is your secret weapon. You will not, you cannot fall with Him within you. You may stumble at times or lose your balance, but God will never let you hit the ground.

The Year for the Uncommon Girls is founded on the strength a relationship with God gives you. When I was younger, I leaned on friends or other outlets when I was stressed and needed support. Each time I just found myself more and more strained; that was until I let myself lean on God’s shoulders. I remember feeling as if I had a safety net or cushion below my feet to keep me from falling. When I left my baggage, fears and insecurities in Christ’s arms, I never felt more free!

This is the year for uncommon girls filled with a passion and love for Christ to become trailblazers. This is the year for you to talk about God to that friend or stranger in school you’ve been too shy to speak to. This is the year to live without shame, fear or pride.

Song of Songs 4:7 says, “You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way.”

Let yourself shine, beautiful! This year let your pains, your doubts and past go and focus on the future. God is rooting for you. He has planned and guided your steps so you will not fall, you will thrive.

W R I T T E N B Y: M O R G A N K AWA K A M I

I AM A NEW CREATION Today’s Verse: 2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come.”

Ever wish you could hit a restart or refresh button on life? The end of the year is quickly approaching, and maybe you are looking forward to that fresh start in January. Perhaps you’ve messed up on something, made a wrong decision, said something you wish you hadn’t; wouldn’t it be nice if we could rewind and totally start over?

I’m not going to air all my past regrets here publicly, but let’s just say there were many moments for me throughout middle and high school, even into college, where I thought to myself, “If only I could go back. I know I can do better, be better.” I don’t think I stand alone when I say I’m sure I’m not the only one that has ever felt this way. Instead of beating myself up about my mistakes and letting them dictate me as a person, I chose to run to God, every time. Even when I made that same mistake again, and again, and sometimes even again. I found the best place to engulf myself was in God’s loving arms, His grace, and His forgiveness. All my blubbering tears, snotty nose, red-faced moments were completely safe with Him. The good news is, with God, we get that luxury of starting over! He is our refresh button.

This is why God is such a good Father, because He tells us, “Hey, it doesn’t matter. I do not hold your past over your head. You are a new creation, the old is gone, the new is here.”

Be encouraged, Uncommon Girl, God has your back! Do not let anyone, even yourself, put an old label on you or continue to throw your mistakes in your face. God has made you a new creation!

Today’s Prayer: God, I thank you that You are a good Father and that You make all things new. Today, I give you my past and I rejoice that it is gone, the new has come. Thank you for loving me and making me a new creation.

GRAB YOUR JOURNAL AND THINK ABOUT IT, WRITE ABOUT IT: Think about a time in the past where you made a wrong decision, said something you shouldn’t have, or maybe did something you know you probably shouldn’t have done.

Take a moment to write about it.

Are you allowing that moment in the past to determine your today?

Do you think you have given that situation completely over to Jesus?

How do you know Jesus is making you into a new creation? What is He doing in your life, in your relationships with friends/family, and in your walk with Him?

W R I T T E N B Y: J O N N A M C G I L L “When you sit in your room, door locked, tears streaming down your face, God is still Emmanuel. He sees, he knows, he knocks at the door of your heart wanting to know if there’s room.”

I love all things Christmas! The movies, songs on the radio, the smells and joy the holiday brings to us. The spirit of Christmas is just so radiant and consuming, even the grinchiest in nature can appreciate the decadence that goes into the season. I love to shop for presents (and receive them), bake cookies (and eat them), and follow all the traditions my family has instilled throughout the years. I look forward to this holiday to say the least! I try my best to remember the “reason for the season” too. My grandmother would always serve a birthday cake at Christmas that read, “Happy birthday, Jesus.” How sweet, Grandma, I love you for that. We’ve come to learn that Christmas Day is Jesus’ birthday, the day he entered our world as God made into flesh, into human likeness so that he could dwell among us. We learn of the scripture in Matthew 1:23 that reads, “Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.” We learn of the manger scene and the angels and the wise men. Poor Mary, riding on that donkey majorly pregnant. I’m honestly surprised she made it to that barn where it all started long ago. It did in fact start there, but we can’t stop there. God had a plan then and He still has a plan today.

Keeping in line with my love for Christmas, I love the Christmas Story of Jesus and all that was represented that night. Have you ever stood in the wonder of that Holy Night? Let’s dive in for a hot second and let it come to life for you again. Imagine yourself tucked under a warm blanket, next to a cozy fire, sipping some hot cocoa, reflecting on a time afar off as we explore it together.

It was Mary’s third trimester and she just learned she had to make a very important trip that just so happened to be very far away.

Her husband Joseph saddled up the donkey and they set out. Upon reaching Bethlehem, they saw the hustle and bustle of other travelers searching for rest and trading for food.

Candles lit the streets and breads and fruits were being sold at every post. The weary couple reached the inn, hoping to find comfort for their tired bones. No vacancy there. I’m sure frantic Joseph didn’t want to break that news to his highly exhausted, highly pregnant wife.

They find a barn inhabited by some animals and they take refuge. But the night was far from over. Soon, the Christ-baby would enter on this night we would one day call Christmas.

Wise men, shepherds, angels, all of them in awe of Emmanuel laying on a bed of scratchy hay.

Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.

Matthew 1:23

So why them? Why not kings and rulers and priests? I believe through the audience at that manger, God was showing us all that He was bringing wisdom into the world. To be wise means to have 1) keen discernment, 2) sound judgment and 3) deep understanding. I’m so glad God brought the three wise men to show us those three attributes that he was making available to us through Him, aren’t you?

The lowly shepherds? Jesus is in that too. We are His sheep and He goes after the one who strays away. Wow, thank you, God! Maybe you are the one and you need the Good Shepherd to leave the 99 in search of you. He will do that (Matt. 18:12-14).

And then you have the innkeeper who wouldn’t make room for them. Maybe that’s you and you just haven’t made room for Jesus in your life.

It’s not too late for that (Romans 10:9-10).

Alas, there is Jesus, Emmanuel, born to us that day, but we can’t forget one important truth: He is STILL with us. I’m thankful that the Christmas season heightens our appreciation toward Jesus, but just as he was born that night, He is still being born in the hearts of many today.

The Christmas season points to Him, but the leaves changing and falling are all part of Him as well. When you’re at the beach and you watch the tide rolling in and being tossed back to sea, that’s God still with us. When you sit in your room, door locked, tears streaming down your face, God is still Emmanuel. He sees, he knows, he knocks at the door of your heart wanting to know if there’s room. He’ll take some scratchy hay just to be close to you. When you face hardship or a long journey that leaves you exhausted, know that you’re carrying the King with you. He is with us and when He is with us, nothing can stop us. As we love to get into the Christmas spirit, let His Spirit be the very thing that others look forward to seeing in you!

UNCOMMON notes LETTERS FROM OUR READERS BIBLICAL ADVICE FROM SOMEONE WHO HAS WALKED IN YOUR SHOES

W R I T T E N B Y: C H R I S T I N A S T A F F O R D

“HOW CAN I LEARN TO NOT PUT MY LOVE INTO THINGS OR PEOPLE WHICH IN RETURN LEAVE ME HURT?” S U B M I T T E D B Y: A N O N Y M O U S ( S E N I O R , G E O R G I A )

Hey, sis! Wow! Such a real question you have here that I’m sure a lot of other girls struggle with. I know I did all throughout high school! At the core, my initial response to your question would be to first allow God to completely pour His love over you. Find your love first in the One who created it, the One who IS love.

Now, granted, I know that even after doing that, we can run into hurtful situations where we invest our love and time and are still left with a negative outcome. Here’s the thing. God calls all of us to first love Him, and second, love others. You can read this in Mark 12:30-31 where Jesus gives the two greatest commandments, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with

all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

There’s a balance between loving people and using wisdom to guard your heart in the process. My encouragement to you is this: There is a difference between loving someone and giving parts of your heart to someone. Use wisdom, but don’t allow fear to stop you from extending the love that we’re called to live in. I pray you allow God to guide you in His love and direct your heart to the people He’s calling you to love in this season.

Your Sister, Christina Stafford

You do not have to be terrified.

He has made you strong and courageous.

W R I T T E N B Y: M O R G A N K AWA K A M I

BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS Today’s Verse: Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.

Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Sweaty hands, racing heart, shaky steps. Take a deep breath, RELAX. Ever felt these feelings? Ever have moments of amazement where you look back and think, “I can’t believe I did that”? Or times where you dread the days to come because you know Friday is your big speech in class, your big game, or auditions day?

I remember in 8th grade, I was new to the school I was attending. My family had just moved to Michigan from Ohio, and I was quickly labeled “the new girl who talked funny.” I should preface this by saying Michiganders have their own accent, so living most of my early life in Texas, I forever remained the girl who talked slow. Anyway, in my efforts to fit in and make friends, I thought I would try out for the cheer team. I had never cheered a day in my life, and I didn’t know two things about splits or back handsprings, but I thought I would go for it. Talk about sweaty hands, racing heart, shaky legs, the whole works. After two days of giving my best effort, I realized cheering was not for me.

GRAB YOUR JOURNAL AND THINK ABOUT IT, WRITE ABOUT IT: Think about a time, past or present, that had you very nervous.

Write about it.

Why were you so nervous? Were you able to overcome your anxious feelings?

Moral of the story here is, I knew God was with me. No matter how scared I felt, I knew God was saying, “Be strong, don’t be terrified, and don’t be discouraged. I am with you.” I obviously didn’t make it through tryouts, but hey, I tried!

What was the outcome of the situation?

Did being nervous about it help you or hurt you?

Be encouraged, Uncommon Girl, whatever you have coming up towards the end of this year that has you shaking at the knees, know God is with you wherever you go. You do not have to be terrified. He has made you strong and courageous. Talk to that person you’ve been too intimidated to approach, go to that tryout, show up for the audition, start that Bible study, and dominate your class presentation. You’ve got this!

What other scriptures can you find to help you in the future when you are feeling nervous or scared?

Today’s Prayer: God, please help me this week to be strong and courageous with the tasks that are making me nervous. Help me to remember I am an overcomer. I thank you that You are with me in every situation, and with you by my side, I soar.

THRIFT STORE FINDS FEATURING: BROOKLYN HOLBROOK

UNCOMMON THREADS W R I T T E N & P H O T O G R A P H E D B Y: S A R A H W I L S O N You only have to spend about five minutes around Brooklyn to know that there is something special and unique about her.

We met up at a European-inspired space in downtown Tampa called the Oxford Exchange with the sole purpose of talking fashion. She walked in wearing classic mom jeans and an oversized sweater, golden brown hair wild and free. She looked like she had stepped right out of a Saved by the Bell episode, in the best way possible! I knew she hadn’t gone to the mall and spent a few hundred dollars, but yet I was already in love with her outfit! She casually mentioned that the sweater she was wearing belonged to her late grandmother and had been gifted to her after she had passed.

Being super sentimental, it was during that time that her love for vintage and pre-loved clothing was birthed.

Beyond what she was wearing, there was a clear, uncommon confidence that radiated from her spirit. It made me want to dig deep and ask her all her secrets! On the DL, I was hoping that some of her confidence (and of course fashion sense) would rub off on me! We intended to talk fashion, but two hours later, we had laughed and cried together (literally) about life, love, ministry and the future. Joy radiated from every ounce of her beautiful soul as she shared her passion for Jesus and her dreams of one day returning to the mission

field in Africa. She was open about the fact that her life wasn’t perfect, but yet despite her circumstances, she was confident. It had nothing to do with the clothes that she was wearing and everything to do with knowing she was exactly who God had called her to be.

Lucky for you, we finally did get around to talking fashion. I asked her to share some practical tips for any girl looking to discover her own personal style without breaking the bank. So go ahead, sit back and pretend like you were right there with us. Imagine the three of us, sitting together on a vintage brown leather couch, sipping hot tea and talking about the best places to thrift shop. I hope this conversation inspires you to step outside of the normal fashion box and discover that real, uncommon confidence is more than the labels you wear. Uncommon confidence comes from knowing who you are in Christ and not allowing the world’s version of fashion and trends to determine your joy. There will never be a more beautiful version of you!

When and why did you start thrift shopping?

I started thrift shopping probably about my second or third year in high school. Obviously, knowing it’s cheaper and just curious to see if there was anything I’d be interested in, I went to a thrift store and was HOOKED. Being a girl Continued on page 16

“At the end of the day, it’s YOU who goes home with you. It’s yourself in the mirror, and it’s YOU who is in charge of lov One thing that is difficult to do is to find something cute and say no to it just because I already have something similar in my closet!

When I thrift, I like to find things very unique, things I haven’t seen before, or things/colors that I don’t have many of. My favorite things to look for are mom jeans, big sweaters, and to be honest, the first place I go to is the men’s section. They have the best vintage T-shirts if you look closely!

What would you call your style? Do you feel pressure to be “in style” or do you create more of your own?

The best thrift stores all depend on where you live. I’m from Michigan, so my favorite one was always Value World. When I moved to Tennessee, I started going to Goodwill (which can get pricey), but I just looked for things that were on sale. When I moved to Florida, I started looking for “mom-and-pop” thrift shops, the hidden gems that nobody knew about. Some of them ended up becoming my favorite stores to go to. But the main one I go to in Florida is Salvation Army. Make sure you go on Wednesdays, when everything is half off!

I definitely have an eclectic style, but I would also say that I have a young heart with a vintage style. Before I even remember the overalls and mom jeans coming back into style, I always loved the clothes that the women on Full House, Friends and Saved by the Bell would wear. I think there’s a lot of pressure to be “in style” or “with the times.”

I always loved wearing different clothes that I felt modest and confident in, but I feel as though there’s pressure to dress like celebrities, girls we follow and compare ourselves to on Instagram, or our siblings.

I actually remember one outfit I wore in high school (it was a patterned jumpsuit), my sister looked at me and said, “Are you really going to wear that?” Later I realized that it’s not about what other people like, it’s about what you like! It’s easier said than done, but if you come to a place where you’re confident in yourself and who God made you to be, embrace it! Because when you start to walk in the identity that Christ has placed upon you, you care less about what people think and more about what Jesus thinks. A heavy weight of people pleasing begins to lift, and being who you are becomes so much more exciting and fun.

What are some of the main things you look for when going shopping?

On any given day, what could you buy with $20.00?

When going shopping, the main things I look for depend on what time of year it is and what I feel as though I would like in my wardrobe.

Oh, geez… 20 dollars is like a shopping spree to me! If I went on a Wednesday (half-off day) specifically, I could walk out of the store with

“Before I even remember the overalls and mom jeans coming back into style, I always loved the clothes that the women on Full House, Friends and Saved by the Bell would wear.” with an eclectic style, I was never limited to one type of style or look. I loved that I could find old things and repurpose them to make them my own.

What are the best thrift stores?

’s YOU who looks at ving you.” “you have to look through everything. It’s not ideal, but the best things are hidden in places you would never think to look.”

2 pairs of jeans, a pair of shoes, 4 T-shirts, a blouse, and a sweater for about $24. You may think I’m lying, but it’s true! You just have to look for the right deals. Thrifting is not for the fainthearted. When I thrift, I make sure I have some time to spend looking through everything I can. A lot of people tell me, “I go thrifting, but I can never find the stuff that you find. How do you find such good items?” And I always tell them the same thing: “You have to look through everything. It’s not ideal, but the best things are hidden in places you would never think to look.”

What would you tell girls who are trying to find their own style or who feel pressure to pay top dollar for the best fashion?

Girls who are trying to find their own style, here’s my advice. Spending lots of money on name-brand clothes can be nice, but you can find something very similar for a lot less.

Evaluate WHY you want to spend that much on a simple blouse. Is it because you genuinely love the blouse? Or do you want it because there is someone you’d like to prove yourself to, brag to, or show how much money you spent on something? Stop comparing yourself to women online. You know what I’m talking about. The ones who you’ve only seen their highlight reel of life. They have struggles and insecurities too, just like we do. Start to do things that make you happy, and when searching for clothes you like, don’t think about who will be accepting of it.

(Obviously be modest.) Just start experimenting to find what YOU love and what makes YOU feel good. At the end of the day, it’s YOU who goes home with you. It’s YOU who looks at yourself in the mirror, and it’s YOU who is in charge of loving you. You can’t rely on anyone else to do it besides Jesus. So start embracing who you are, loving who you were made to be, and be yourself. I’ve heard it said before, God will bless you, but don’t let him bless a fake version of you. Let Him bless the real, raw you. Because it’s the most beautiful version of you there will ever be.

God is with you, and He is not going to leave you.

W R I T T E N B Y: M O R G A N K AWA K A M I

I’M NOT IN THIS ALONE Today’s Verse: Hebrews 13:5 Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, “I will never fail you.

I will never abandon you.”

Have you ever seen the movie “Monsters University”? When all the students return to college from break, the campus is such a dud! The trees are bare, the skies are grey, and there isn’t a soul to be seen outside. I always think this scene is such a perfect depiction of what life can look like from January until spring. We go through the beginning of the school year with such a rush! There is so much excitement with starting a new grade, perhaps you started driving, all the homecoming and fun fall festivities, Christmas…you catch my drift. Then BOOM, January comes.

Sometimes our spiritual life can look this way as well. We start in August feeling fired up from summer church camps, retreats, we are on such a spiritual high. Once January rolls around, for some reason we start to feel ourselves drift slowly away from God. Perhaps trying to do things on our own until we fail and realize, “God, where are you?” I feel so weak and distant.”

God is never distant. We may feel as though we have drifted away and hit a low, but He tells us in Hebrews 13:5, that He will never leave us or forsake us. If you’re feeling that you’ve been trying to do things on your own, STOP IT! Invite God in again. Why not start the new year at a new place with God? You don’t have to look like that college campus, dead and bare.

Be encouraged, Uncommon Girl, God is with you, and He is not going to leave you.

Today’s Prayer: God, please help me to start the new year refreshed in You. I do not want to drift away from You, and I do not want to feel distant. Please help me to remember You are always with me, and You will never forsake me. I am not in this alone.

GRAB YOUR JOURNAL AND THINK ABOUT IT, WRITE ABOUT IT: Think about how in times past you may have drifted away from the Lord.

Write about this time and how you can keep from letting it happen again.

What can you do to keep a strong relationship with God?

I Am Who He Says I Am W R I T T E N B Y: B R I T T A N Y S U

“I had thrown my self-worth into the hands of all those around me. At one moment I would feel loved and the next moment betrayed, rejected, lonely, and insignificant.”

Much of my life, I struggled with feeling I needed to please people in order to earn their love and affection. As a child, it began with feeling pressured to meet the demands of my parents. The moment I was born, I was expected and groomed to become a doctor.

I was raised with that single goal in mind.

Although now I understand that they only did that out of how they knew to love me, I remembered always feeling pressured and worried I wouldn’t meet their expectations and let them down. I’d stay up until 4 am at the age of 5 doing math problems. By 8 years old, I was trying to understand algebra, being frustrated because I couldn’t get why letters and numbers were being mixed together! By 15, I got my high school diploma and was clearly on track to being a doctor. Yet, at that moment, I felt the most lost in my life. Every step of the way up to that point, I would receive affirmation or love from those around me only if I got good grades or achieved things placed before me. Any time I fell short and failed, I was met with the fear of rejection.

I began to question myself, my life. What was the point of my life? What was the purpose of me meeting the expectations of others but yet feeling so empty inside? I thought that life was supposed to be so much more than doing and becoming what others wanted of me. What about me? What did I want? Who was I? For the next few years, I went on a journey of searching for my identity and searching for love. Unfortunately, I had to learn some things the hard way. Because I somehow gained an unhealthy perception that love is something that is earned, this affected all friendships and relationships. As a result, I entered a dark season where I no longer valued myself and felt my life spiraling out of control. I had thrown my self-worth into the hands of all those around me. At one moment I would feel loved and the next moment betrayed, rejected, lonely, and insignificant. In this time, the only thing I thought I could control was my weight.

I began to abuse my body. I would tell myself I had to reach unhealthy numbers on the scale Continued on page 23

I remembered telling Him, “God, I grew up going to church and listening to all the stories and hearing about you being all present, all knowing, and all powerful.

Then where are you?!�

And at that moment,

He came.

“There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves PUNISHMENT.” (1 John 4:18) to feel I still had control. I would starve and even throw up whenever I felt I ate too much.

But then I encountered the Lord. He met me one night as I was crying myself to sleep so frustrated and unhappy with life. I remembered telling Him, “God, I grew up going to church and listening to all the stories and hearing about you being all present, all knowing, and all powerful. Then where are you?!”

And at that moment, He came. I will never forget that feeling of His love rushing in and surrounding me. It wrecked me. I was ugly crying. His love was just THAT PERFECT. He knew what I needed. I didn’t need to be disciplined or yelled at for being wrong. He did the exact opposite, He flooded my heart with only things He loved about me. The moment His love entered, all the fears and words of hate in my mind left. I was marked by His love.

I experienced 1 John 4:18 intimately: “There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment” (1 John 4:18).

From that moment on, I surrendered my life completely to Him and when I finally allowed Him into the deepest caverns of my heart, He began to heal all the broken areas, beginning with my identity of who I am in Him. In Him, I am perfect. In Him, I am beautiful. In Him, I have purpose. In Him, I am no longer a slave to fear. In Him, all things are possible. In Him, I am a child of God: “For all those led by God’s Spirit are God’s sons. You did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear. Instead, you received the Spirit of adoption, by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father!” The Spirit himself testifies together with our spirit that we are God’s children, and if children, also heirs— heirs of God and coheirs with Christ—if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him” (Romans 8:14-17).

I share all this with you in hopes that if any of you struggle with your identity, with feeling loved, with feeling worthy, with feeling

insignificant, you would be encouraged and not lose heart. Through the unending mercies and grace of God, I can look back now and see His fingerprints over everything. I continue to still grow every day in knowing my Heavenly Father and who I am in Him, but that personal journey is so special. No one can take that away from me or you. So whether you struggle with your self-worth or figuring out your purpose or feeling like you don’t have a voice, I want to leave you with this….

He is waiting for you. He’s been waiting for you.

Since the beginning of time, He’s already been singing songs specifically for you and over you.

With arms wide open, no strings attached, He cries, “Child, here I am. Come find rest in me.

Come find wholeness in me. Let me tell you who you are, the you that no one else except me your Maker will know. Let me show you the plans and the adventures that I have set before you. The things I want to shower you with, the people I want to surround you with.

Come abide in my everlasting, unconditional love.”

There’s no one like your Abba Father who can change the trajectory of your life with one intimate love encounter. Just take a moment, breathe Him in and pour out your deepest hurts, your wildest questions. He’s not afraid of them and wants to walk you through each of them.

“You yourself have recorded my wanderings.

Put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book? Then my enemies will retreat on the day when I call. This I know: God is for me. In God, whose word I praise, in the Lord, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mere humans do to me?”

(Psalms 56:8-11).

“You will be a glorious crown in the Lord’s hand, and a royal diadem in the palm of your God’s hand” (Isaiah 62:3).

W R I T T E N B Y: M O R G A N K AWA K A M I

Bullying Built Me Into A Gem

Tucked away in the heart of Georgia, Bekah was living the life of your average teenager. Going to church, hanging out with friends, all things fun and down-to-earth. “I’m a lover of reading romance stories, journaling, flowers, rainbows, and sometimes being wild. I love food, clothes, spending time with friends and family, and anything cozy, kind, or fun.” She never imagined in a million years that one friendship would bring her life crumbling to pieces, needing to be rebuilt.

Like most people, Bekah had always heard of bullying. Seeing it in the news or presentations at school, bullying was finding itself a very popular topic in the headlines. Unfortunately, the topic hit home for Bekah, and the headlines became the front lines of her life. “I was best friends with someone from school for about two and a half years, then out of nowhere she completely turned on me. It got to the point that every night I would cry myself to sleep.

She would always tell me how worthless I was.

She would post pictures and rumors about me online. I eventually started believing that I was worthless. I was so mad, sad, and lonely. I began to isolate myself from people and the world because I felt like I couldn’t trust anyone.”

I was best friends with someone from school for about two and a half years, then out of nowhere she completely turned on me.

BEKAH, 16

After some time had passed of Bekah being miserable, a girl from school had noticed what was going on. She encouraged Bekah to do what anyone should do in that situation, and that was to tell an adult. Bekah chose to go to her youth pastor who uplifted her and fed her with scriptures of her true worth in Christ.

One scripture that Bekah holds with her to this day is Psalm 139:14 which declares, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Looking back to that time in her life, Bekah sees herself now as an overcomer and no longer a victim. “I feel like God was using that hard time to help me.

Through it all, I’ve learned to trust God more. I want all girls to know that just like a gem, they will be stunning at the end of the process.” Bekah learned that sometimes we have to go through hardships so the Lord can refine us and draw us closer to Him.

Bekah has since learned to move on and forgive this person. She is now able to go about her life again knowing who she is in Christ. The headlines of her own life now read, “Bullying Built Me Into a Gem.” If you’re out there and you are being bullied, it’s time to exercise your voice and bring an end to the harm being done. Or if you know someone who is being bullied, Bekah couldn’t have said it better herself, “Pray for the person, speak up, and stand up for them.” Go out of your way to befriend them and pray for them.

Uplift them with scriptures, such as Psalm 139, to affirm their worth in Christ. Make that step to be uncommon and forever change someone’s life.

God has a plan for our lives.

He will bless us, give us hope, and a future.

W R I T T E N B Y: M O R G A N K AWA K A M I

NEW YEAR, NEW YOU Today’s Verse: Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

New year, new you! Ever heard that one before? I was always the one who wanted to have really cool New Year’s Eve plans, but in reality, I never did. I was lucky to stay up to see the ball drop on TV (I was never much of a night owl)! Whenever the new year would begin to approach, I tried my hardest to make some kind of cool resolution for the year. I’ll grow my hair out, I’ll eat better, try harder in school, etc. I think the only one I ever stuck with, as gross as this may sound, was to quit biting my nails. I’m happy to say, I stuck with it! I have never bitten them since!

Sure, my resolutions were never exactly life changing! I never came up with huge plans to have a new year, new me. Aside from silly little goals I tried to set, every year I wanted to grow closer to God. I would find myself wondering, “God, what do you want for my life?” Even on days where I really had no clue, I clung to the verse Jeremiah 29:11 which says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

God has a plan for our lives. Even when we doubt it or may not see it at times. It is written in His word and is His promise to us. He will bless us, give us hope, and a future.

So as the year closes out and a new one begins, there is no way of knowing what God has planned for our future, but He promises it’s going to be a good one. I challenge you in this new year to seek Him more and watch His plans for you this year unfold.

Today’s Prayer: God, please help me to trust Your plans for my life. Going into the new year, I want to grow closer to You. Give me strength to not do things on my own, but to simply follow You where You are leading me. I want to embrace a new year, and a new/better relationship with You.

GRAB YOUR JOURNAL AND THINK ABOUT IT, WRITE ABOUT IT: Take a few minutes to reflect on your relationship with the Lord over this past year.

Are you satisfied with your walk with Him? How can you spend more time with God? Create some spiritual goals for yourself this new year.

Be kind, be fair, be honest, be true, and all of these things will come back to you.

Cynthia is a quiet and reserved 16-year-old, but bold in her stance to be kind to any and all walks of life. Kindness isn’t a trait Cynthia has to convince you she has, rather it just radiates from her because she’s been so intentional about it for so long. Couple that with her dedication to her relationship with the Lord, and her kindness level is off the charts. That of course has been met with its own struggles, but in my opinion, Cynthia is a walking expression of Christ’s love. A little less than a year ago, Cynthia remembers always seeing other people seemingly happy yet all the while there she was feeling anything but happy.

She started noticing people show her kindness and witnessed selflessness on display and it truly changed her life. “What if I tried that,” she thought.

What if she could do something small for someone, what if she could change her outlook? Well, she did, and here we are writing her story. She describes herself as honest, somewhat shy, but speaks out and up for others when necessary. She isn’t afraid to stand up for something so that the wrong thing can be righted and she’s pretty passionate about that. In fact, so passionate that she and a good friend decided to initiate the Kindess Club at their high school with the intent to provoke new perspective’s on school weeks, culture and individual life as a whole. It’s pretty awesome, so I can’t wait

Cynthia Castillo: kindness club W R I T T E N B Y: J O N N A M C G I L L to dive in and tell you all about it. Imagine yourself taking the same steps Cynthia has and get inspired as you read about her story to equip others to bring change.

Tell me about what you’re doing at your school.

“The Kindness Project is a club a friend and I started because there wasn’t any place at DHS that served as a ‘safe place’ for students. We wanted to create some place where students could go to feel welcome, find happiness, get help, wind down, get community service hours and find different and healthier ways to cope with stress and anxiety. We also wanted to provide a way for them to get involved in the community and the school. Our biggest goal is to get students connected somewhere doing something positive.

We believe that helping others will help you as an individual grow and learn and that you’ll be happier when you’re helping others.”

So much goodness flowing there! As I interviewed her, the true concerns of her heart gave me goosebumps. She really is seeking to do something uncommon! Let’s keep reading…

What does the Kindness Club look like at school?

“We meet in classrooms and from there we get

To spread the word about the Kindness Club, Cynthia has enlisted others to help make videos and they have even acquired a few sponsors who have provided stickers to post throughout the school. They’ve secured an ad on the radio, as well as getting it announced over the speakers at school. They want to branch out in any and every way possible.

As I continued to talk talked to Cynthia, one thing was clear: KINDNESS goes a lot deeper than a smile here and there. Kindness is indeed a lifestyle, a way of the heart. To her it starts with a mindset change.

You have to take small steps to get to bigger places.

It doesn’t happen overnight and it doesn’t happen in a week. Here’s how it goes…wake up, go to school, hate school, hear negativity, start thinking negatively, feel stress, rinse, and repeat..

Right? So what prompted Cynthia to make a difference was to break this cycle of low expectation’s at school. She wants to put kindness in schools so that students don’t look at every school year the same. That they come with a positive expectancy that it’s going to be a great day every day! In her words, school doesn’t have to equal stress and kindness can change that. She’s right, I think we can all agree that affirmation goes a long way. Her hope and desire is that students develop a different approach to the triggers of life and school.

What is the overall goal of the club?

“To start a new movement in schools to spread kindness. There are a lot of things in the community already that are ran by adults, but this is an initiative by students in the schools. We want to spread kindness instead of hate and bullying.”

Have you noticed change in others since you started this?

“In a couple of people in particular. Really the ones that have been coming since the beginning.

A close friend is involved and she went from not really coming to school, not wanting to wake up

permission slips to go into the community. (think Salvation Army, non-profit organizations, places that distribute to those in need). We discuss what we can do and how we can help. My friend and I meet every day, and we are trying to meet twice a week with the other students who have joined our efforts. There are about 25 so far and we are trying to get it to grow. We clean up parks, host events for both the community and school to initiate kindness. We started showing the kindness we want to see happen, and it created an awareness about our group.”

There is nothing like the happiness you can get when it comes from being kind to others.

Cynthia Castillo, 16 and deal with it, to being excited about school and her attendance improved. She also started coming to church and has learned to change her mindset from ‘I have to’ to ‘I get to see my friends’ and lots of other things she didn’t realize before.”

As she expressed this truth, I couldn’t contain my excitement. The project was working! Even if she stopped and closed up shop right there (but she definitely won’t), she has made a difference in the life of even just one. And you know what, duplicity.

One person affects one person and two people affect four. When we go at this life hand in hand, and I’ll do you one better, hand in hand in His hand, we can be that change we want to see.

Start small but hope for big. I hope her story is encouraging you thus far. Let’s find out more, shall we?

Best-case scenario, how could this change someone’s life?

“Best-case scenario…bringing up someone from the bottom, hopeless, depressed, to completely changing their mindset, that they have reason to be happy and spread kindness and that they have purpose. I understand what it means to be depressed and have a negative mindset and I changed from that. I want to help change those same people. A complete turnaround. If you’re thinking about harming yourself, I want to help you completely turn that around. If you think, ‘Oh, I don’t deserve this life.’ I want them to believe that they truly are deserving of the life they’re given.”

What does kindness mean to you?

“Kindness is treating others with love and dignity regardless of what they’ve gone through,

how they treat you or others and regardless of their race or social class.”

It just so happens that kindness costs zero dollars, but it can still be hard to give away.

Treating others “the way we want to be treated” is easy to say and sometimes hard to do. And I think it’s okay that we don’t always get it right as long as we recognize the wrong when we’ve done it. I’m not giving you a free pass, just offering forgiveness through Jesus. It was his kindness toward us that allowed us to be free from the burdens that seem to weigh us down. What would the world look like if a kind heart was at the center of everything we did? Let’s find out what Cynthia has to say about how united efforts could change a school…

“United hearts of kindness would change the culture of a school. Right now, it’s say what you want, do what you want regardless of the consequences or who you hurt. That’s not a culture that should be anywhere at all. Having more people be kind will change that. With fights every week, things being stolen, there’s nothing positive that comes from that. Even if half the school was united, it would change the culture to sound like, ‘This isn’t cool, this isn’t what we should be doing as students.’ It would be a healthier atmosphere and make the high school experience a lot better. The new norm would be, ‘I get to go to school, I get to be apart of clubs and make a difference.’ It would change how people perceive schools and things could be avoided if people were kind. Teenage problems like drama and gossip would be minimized (instead of glorified). A positive mindset keeps you from spreading rumors and gossip.”

but she doesn’t want anyone to feel excluded or hinder their curiosity by deeming the Kindness Club as a Christian thing only. I think that’s pretty key, especially when that can quickly dampen their impact. It’s unfortunate but true, and Cynthia’s hope is to change the perception of Christianity in schools. Kindness surpasses race, language and religion, but its truest form is found in Christ, and Cynthia recognizes that. That’s why she’s very vocal about her pursuit in inviting When you decide to commit to change, you others to church, so they too can experience the will inevitably face hardship, but the key is to life-changing things God has brought about in her overcome that through advice, accountability and own life. hope. I asked Cynthia if she faced any discouraging times when getting the club going…

I like that last line, it really resonates truth. A positive mindset keeps you from…what does a positive outlook keep you from? A lot of things, to be exact! When we can change our perspective we can change our path. Think of some things you can implement now that will help you get to a better place mentally. It could be as small as smiling instead of complaining or as big as initiating a kindness club in your own school.

“Some people would question the effectiveness, but I don’t let that get to me because no matter what, it’s still worth it, even if it’s just changing one life, one student’s attendance, or one student’s relationship with God. Even if others can’t see the effectiveness, I can see differences being made.

It’s a small group, but within those students they have taken steps back and asked, ‘Am I being kind to others and spreading joy and love to my school, family, and myself?’ They have made changes to their lives.”

Her prayers for the project…

“I pray that students first feel welcomed when they talk to me about the club, that they have a sense of comfort, that’s the biggest thing. Also, when they do go to the club meeting, that they have an awakening, that they open up their lives to realize and evaluate if they’re doing good or not. That they need to change, we all do, but that it comes through their actions.”

What if this went nationwide?

“If it went nationwide I would honestly be in shock because truly that is one of our goals. To make this last for countless years. I think in a few years, not in two months, we can see more change. I would be proud of myself and the students. By myself, I can’t do this, but it’s the ripple effect that will make this go nationwide. I would be so proud for other students to initiate this in their own schools.

It’s truly a blessing to have these clubs so that others can find peace and joy.”

I think it’s important to add that Cynthia is a Christian within the group, but it’s not labeled a “Christian club.” She tries to encourage others to attend her youth group with her, and many have,

some people would question the effectiveness, but i don’t let that get to me because no matter what, it’s still worth it, even if it’s just changing one life.

Cynthia’s life verse reads as follows: “Do not be anxious or worried about anything, but in everything [every circumstance and situation] by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, continue to make your [specific] requests known to God.” Philippians 4:6 [AMP] Pray about how you can initiate your own version of change. It starts with you and it lasts when the change takes place in your heart. Don’t be afraid to be uncommon and do something no one else is doing. People are waiting on your purpose to come to life, it just may save them and provoke them to make a difference as well. You never know what your act of obedience will unlock in this world. So do the things, and do them with your God-given passion. I’m a firm believer that we can change the world. I’ve always said this and will always believe it. I’d like to hope Cynthia’s story has impacted your outlook. If it has, we’d love to hear about it! Send us a DM @uncommongirlmag. If you’re looking to do some good and make a difference now, visit dosomething.org for ways to bring change, such as relief to hurricane disasters.

As always, inspire others and make sure you’ve made at least one person feel like an important part in the world. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Let it comfort you in times of sadness, and strengthen you when you feel weak. May it come alive in your life.

W R I T T E N B Y: M O R G A N K AWA K A M I

JESUS IS WITH ME Today’s Verse: Matthew 1:23 “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”).

I know this is a really popular scripture around Christmastime, simply because everyone talks about the birth of Christ. I mean, that’s what Christmas is all about, Jesus was born!

But when I look at this scripture, I like to reflect on how Jesus has always been with me.

I’d like to ask you to take a minute and think about specific times where you knew Jesus was with you. I’m sure you came up with a crazy amount of times! I don’t know about you, but I am truly thankful that Jesus is always with us. He says countless times in scripture that He won’t leave us, He is there.

As you go through the Christmas season and the New Year, I challenge you to not let this be a scripture you only reflect on during this time. As you go back to school, allow it to guide you every day. Let it comfort you in times of sadness, and strengthen you when you feel weak.

May it come alive in your life. Jesus is with you.

Today’s Prayer: God, I thank You that You are always with me. I thank you that in times past, You have protected me and shown up in my life. I ask for strength when I feel weak and feel like You are no where to be found. Help me remember Your words and Your promises which say You are with us.

GRAB YOUR JOURNAL AND THINK ABOUT IT, WRITE ABOUT IT: Write about a time when Jesus was with you.

Think about a current situation in your life.

How do you need Jesus to show up in that situation?

ON THE 2019 WINTERFEST TOUR

W W W. K AY L E E A N D E R I C A . C O M Kaylee and Erica |

@kayleeanderica |

@kayleeanderica