Paper Cuts Vol. III by The PANTOGRAPH x MALAYA

The PANTOGRAPH x MALAYA The Offi cial Student Publications of the University of Nueva Caceres Senior High School in English and in Filipino

No part of this literary folio may be reproduced, stored, and/or transmitted in any form or by any means, without prior notice and permission from the publication, or without satisfying the terms expressed by the law. No circulation of this book and hence, its contents, in any other binding or cover, shall be done. All rights reserved © 2022

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(n.) “They say, paper cuts are the deepest form of cut. They may seem small, but they hurt a lot.” GRAPHICS BY RYE PRILLES

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about the cover They say each of us have our own hidden scars. The scars deep within us that never fades, and the agony of feeling the misery we try to hide each day. On how words tell how we feel, nothing else suffice.

introduction On the pages beneath that blind people block, There’s a hope for the future that those words will unlock.

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WORDS BY JAYVEE FORTUNO GRAPHICS BY MA. JULINE JOSE

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Contents table

amore breve 1 | Endless Chase 3 | Heart 5 | A Ball of Sunshine 7 | The Land of the Nod

8 | The Night Sky 9 | You and I 11 | Lost Constellation 13 | One Last Goodbye GRAPHICS BY RYE PRILLES

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23 | Batt-Life 25 | Endless Journey 27 | The Scribe's Pen 29 | Illusions: The Truth of Life

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You are the favorite poem and song

The lovely one I read and sang along; When days are drawn with euphoria and joy, You’re the image that my mind enjoyed But also the person that destroys a story, My heart once relied but you’re never sorry; Yet I never thought that like literary pieces Our love and passion will eventually ceases Into grief and agony lacking of any remedy Until what’s left are feelings in a memory

EndlessChase You are my favorite poem

The best piece I’ve ever read Every letter, every word, every paragraph that makes up you is what keeps my heart beating. Maybe we were meant to be together, but only for a short time and not forever Because I was the sun and you were the moon Two forbidden lovers who chase each other at all hours of the day and night in the hopes that their two worlds will collide once more. But you drifted away with a wicked grin on your lips,

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WRITTEN BY RHODA MAE CABATO GRAPHICS BY RYE PRILLES

I wanted nothing more than to see an eclipse, where I could wrap my arms around you, surrendering to your allure.

We may only collide once more, yet the entire world comes to a halt to look A rare occurrence that occurs over the sky, a stunning sight that will undoubtedly make everyone cry. I didn’t understand how powerful my light was when all I could see was you My light had been a wonder to me until I stopped beaming it on you I will fulfill every promise, I will love you even if you aren’t whole, I will stay, even when I appear you go away. We have the perfect love story, where one would die so that the other may live In another life, I hope you’ll be the sun, my guiding light, I’ll let your light shine through and when the night falls, Just like the moon, I’ll reflect the light back to you.

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HEART Though it may be frozen

Though it may be blue It is still a live beating heart That is given up for you Though it may be rock hard Though it may be numb All it needs to feel is your warmth Caress it with your thumbs Though its blood may be black It still wants you back Back in it you belong Because you’ve stayed in it for long

LAYOUT BY DAVID GOYENA

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You’ve stayed in it for long But you didn’t stay with it as long You left and abandoned this stone cold heart You left it, torn and ripped apart I can see right through those clear brown eyes I can hear the truth behind those lies I can feel the broken beats of your now numb heart Come and let me heal each broken part Though it may be frozen Though it may be blue

Though it may be rock hard, stone cold Still in it is you Inside this live beating heart Are vivid memories of you Back when it was still happy Contently smitten for you Though it may be frozen Though it may be blue This rock hard, stone cold heart Is still in love with you

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I can be your sunshine

To light up your day If yours have faded away, I'll share you mine. You may not be able to see it at first glance, But I can show you if you'll give me a chance Deep inside of you is sorrow, But because of my sunshine, they'll fade away tomorrow.

LAYOUT BY GILBERT LAGUARDIA JR.

A strong ray of sun is what I am To enlighten your brain is what I can If you share with me your struggles, Only then you can find a way from them If you're sad, so am | Eventually, my sunshine's going to die And all you're going to hear is the sound of my cry Why? Because cadness eats me up from the inside. AND I AM ONLY HUMAN, AREN'T I? 5 | Paper Cuts

LAYOUT BY DAVID GOYENA

LAYOUT BY GILBERT LAGUARDIA JR.

Bafll o shine n u S WRITTEN BY ROCHELLE JOY MACAYAN GRAPHICS BY RYE PRILLES

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When I awoke one morning,

A cat reclined and slept on my chest. “What are you doing there?” I asked “Feeling your warmth.” It looked and said at me. Hearing that made me lost in a thousand wonders, Enkindling my senses from the lingering coolness. The warmth reinstates the jouissance I pine for,

WRITTEN BY MARK JOSHUA BARDON GRAPHICS BY RYE PRILLES

Transporting me anew into the solacing cloud nine. I pray this feeling will perpetually persist, Even in the darkest eventide. Desiring this will not be another mist, Permeated in the dreamy, coruscating light. Suddenly, a streak of sunlight struck my eyes, Awakening me from the dulcifying fantasy. Shortly, I heard a tender purr radiating from my chest “What are you doing there?” I asked. LAYOUT BY ROMAR CASTROCASTRO

The Night Sky Over the dark empyrean filled with

dazzling stars, I’m witnessing a thousand stars before me. While fervently gazing at the distance, There’s a fragment of memory I reminisce. To someone who rescued me from the engulfing darkness, It’s you, my light. While the other stars perpetually cascade, You remained on my side. To the love of my life By any chance, can we dance like binary stars? Even separated now in light-years, The night sky is the passageway to see you every night.

WRITTEN BY MARK JOSHUA BARDON GRAPHICS BY RYE PRILLES

This piece depicts a story of two fated souls.

A story where fate and destiny is the one who’s in control. A story of You and I, who had gone to separate poles. Two broken hearts who continued to pursue their different goals. Looking back to the day we’ve first met, An important memory that I’ll never forget. That instant, I asked you, “What’s your bet?”, You said “It’s something you’ll never get”. That something was also a piece of mine, Connected to you with a red string or line. Even when days passed and the day turned into night, I’ll continue to love and cherish you with all my might. Staring at a distance became a daily routine. Admiring you from afar while smiling in between. Everyday hoping that I’ll never be seen But continuously praying you’ll come to know what I mean. Days passed by, and it was still the same. Panic and Anxiety, do you know who’s to blame? The feelings inside my heart kept on raging like a flame. Until the day I confessed my feelings to you

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YOU

suddenly came.

It was just luck and a lucky encounter. A sudden opportunity came, and I didn’t think any faster. I confessed my feelings and shouted as nothing mattered, “I like you,” I confessed, hoping it won’t end in a disaster. Blushed cheeks and eyes closed, I waited for the latter. Full of wishes and expectations, hoping it won’t shatter. I was surprised when I suddenly heard a sound of laughter,

U&I

It was pleasant to the point that it made my heart flutter. My feelings reached her, and we became a couple. Every day we would be together and glued like a double. We would be beside each other, solving every trouble. A beautiful bond that is pretty and fragile as a bubble. To pursue our dreams, later on we separate and depart. Trusting each other’s feelings and the knot tied in our hearts. But as day passes by, our relationship starts

to fall apart. Come to the point of breaking up, can we please restart? Many months have passed, thinking our relationship will be lifelong. As fragile as a bubble, we knew that breakage would start to come along. A promise of eternity, where did everything go wrong? Lost in thought, hungry for a place where I belong. Light came upon, and my reasons went back. Using emotions as fuel, I strived to improve what I lacked. Little by litte, I was able to heal my heart’s empty crack. I kept moving forward without looking back at the track. Our feelings were once united and connected as an ether, Thinking we could end up and live happily ever after. But sometimes, things just aren’t meant for each other, Just like You and I, who were never destined to be together.

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n o i t a l l e t s n o C t s o L

Dreaming of you was my favorite part Until I realized it was a nightmare oke up from a dreadful sleep Promises you’ve constantly A bag of black visible under my broken eyes I shivered in the sense of lie I once I wrinkled my nose for it was runny believed I couldn’t find my voice to speak

A tear streamed down my cheeks As I remember what you’ve said I shouldn’t have embraced your thorns Your words cut deeper through my soul The clouds are rumbling Noisy yet comforting Seems like we’re both agonizing Tears are constantly outpouring

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My only wish was to reach you Even under the circumstance that pierced us I can only mourn for my lost constelation It was far, it reached the depth of longing The coolness of the breeze The gloominess of the room Blanket of sadness is surrounding me Silence is creating a chaos inside my head

I thought I can no longer find myself Darkness is comforting me I can only mutter my silent prayer A piece of mind comes home, finally I painted myself blue For it resembled my whirling sorrow Lost smiles, stale eyes Wishing for better tomorrow Domino of melancholic memories Forces my eyes to bleed At some point, I loved how it clenches me A bittersweet feeling succumbed me While my demons stay faithful I’ll take this chance to say goodbye To the image of you inside my head To the version of me that made me feel worthless

My heart that once tasted bitter For the things you’ve made me feel I still offer you my deepest gratitude For the reasons you never utter Loving the sky was a phase The stars creating a maze A wandering soul it portrays Suddenly, it vanished into the haze But I realized The lost constellation is me Certainty at last comes to thee Purpose of living I can finally see Waves of hope it guarantee

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ONE LAST GOODBYE

When I walked one day,

A butterfly greeted me on my way I asked, “what are you doing there?” It looked at me and flew above my hair. I know it’s you; your touch seemed familiar It’s been a while since we saw you on the altar You came back to God, yet still visiting us And even followed me outside the house I hope I can hug you last And tell you how much I love you most I know it’s you; you’re still guiding me on my pathway Do not worry; I am strong every day You trained me how to play

Play in the game of our life here You taught me to be caring and sincere, Here I am loved by my compeers I know it’s you, who has silver-grey hair The one that I care You taught me how to be fair, that even though life is unjust in “Everyone’s Goodness,” I must trust. Oh, how those good old days with you have gone too fast.

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LAYOUT BY DAVID GOYENA

Mala a t s i V

WRITTEN BY JAY VHIE ABUNDA LAYOUT BY ROMAR CASTRO

Eyeglasses were meant to give a clear vision

As life have an unanticipated collision Yet why is it still blurry and causes a deep lesion? Tears in the eyes appeared when it burst imagination.

I can see the candles melting right in front of me, And I can see every time someone visits when I’m gone. And seeing their back, while they leave, but I wanna stay here, And be a gravestone for eternity.

I think I know,

No, I know, I want to be a gravestone in my next life, My gravestone, So I can see the sunrise and set, I can feel the pouring rain, I can feel the breeze of the wind, I can see the constellations shift, I can feel the moon’s light, I’ll feel the leaves falling from the mahogany beside me, 15 | Paper Cuts

The flower’s wilting, nobody was willing To make it grow, in just a single blow.

There was the sun, which can give light not irritating nor draining, but a light that’s energizing. The flower’s slowly falling, still nobody else’s willing. The sun’s always there, waiting for somebody to dare. The flower is now rooting, the sun wondered, and the flower uttered, “With you, I’m still nothing.” The sun continued to shine The flower reminded him Why the rain is so necessary He can’t escape reality. The flower’s rising, and the sun stops shining. Here comes the rain,

but the flower drains. The sun keeps on thinking, but the flower longed for him, asking for one thing, It is to stay. The flower bloomed, The sun continued to shine yet we need someone The rain falls to keep us alive. Then the real-life calls. How good are flowers without water? How good is life without a chapter? What if the sun stops shining? The darkness is blinding. All of these are just a recipe for life, we must first wilt, fall, root, and rise in order to bloom,

WRITTEN BY JOHN PATRICK REGIDOR GRAPHICS BY RYE PRILLES

I sleep every night, hoping I won’t yet

decay. Check my pulse everyday to check if they function like yesterday. My heart is going frantic, oxygen depleting from my lungs and I can’t help but cry. I said mom, there’s someone in my head. He can’t stop but pry. I’m trying to be a good boy and give them fruits in a basket. Hoping that God would reward me enough to not put me in a casket. Not yet, my feet buried in the ground with growing sesames but I’ll rather have dirt on my feet than on top of me I said mom; I want to reach 95 and hope to make you proud. 17 | Paper Cuts

My mom said, “I’ll always be proud and I’m always here to guide.” She also replied, “Ian, you can reach 75, I’ll be proud because I know you tried.” I said mom, I’m not talking about numbers and grades, I’m talking about ambitions and age I want to live long, at least long enough for me to embrace darkness without regrets. At least long enough for me to forget, at least long enough for me to pay my debt, at least long enough for me to memorize your voice, your face, and its silhouette. I want to reach my goals and see my parents clapping in the crowd. I want to go to the place of my dreams and feel the texture of the ground. I want to find genuine love and see her LAYOUT BY ROMAR CASTRO

Please don’t take me yet because my dogs need to be fed. So, God, I know you have plans for me. I hope it’s aligned with mine. Please don’t take my soul yet while my heart is still unsatisfied. Make me breathe for a long time. I don’t want to watch the sunset. You may ask, “Son, are you ready?” I would always reply, “Father, not yet.”

walking in a gown. I want to hear the laughter of my kids and forever hear its sound. I want to take my parents to Disneyland and enjoy all the rides. Enjoy the ride of life. It could be happiness, anger, or situations where we cry. Whatever it is, don’t take my soul, don’t take me from their side. I want to sit down at 5 pm and tell my kids the love that they have supplied. The thing is, I’m not afraid of the dark, I’m more afraid of white and red. It reminds me of heaven and hell, so I’ll close my eyes instead. I’m willing to rest, but the concept of death remains inside my head.

WRITTEN BY EDRIAN CABRAL GRAPHICS BY KIA MAY BOITIZON

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I’ve seen your kind, time and

time again Every truth must see light, Every secret must be unearthed. Such is the conceit of a selfproclaimed seeker of truth. But in the end, you lack the stomach,

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Such beliefs caused by your delusions is like a fool’s conclusions In this world, ignorance is a bliss To live in peace is not an opportunity to miss This is for the best For not a soul shall know the rest. Now, return from whence thou cam’st For that is thy place of belonging Sweep all thought of it As thy kind has always have If thee will not uphold thy promise Then forgive me, For I shall draw my blade. Fret not, I shall end it quickly, and I shall not miss. And your death will be as peaceful as the vast everglades will be.

LAYOUT BY ROMAR CASTRO

WRITTEN BY NEIL ANDREI PRILLES GRAPHICS BY KIA MAY BOITIZON

for the agony it’ll bring upon thyself. Your Ignorance caused by your delusions

I fell into a pit.

I wasn't expecting it to be there. And me being unaware, I didn't care and is still stuck there! I fell into a pit that I didn't want to fall onto. I fell deep inside and it ate me like the toxic flu. I walked normally but my feet suddenly dropped. I tried to but I had no way to stop. I am no brave person I have always been fragile. When I fell into the pit, I wasn't a person that's agile. I sat still until plenty of dirt started to compile. I know it wasn't a reasonable move But I couldn't do anything– It was like being pushed down by gravity while lifting a heavy thing. I had no choice but to be such a poor thing.

I was alone in nothing but darkness, I didn't know what to do. No friends, no family, no selfawareness, I had no one to hold on to. I fell into a pit. But it was like no other. The pit was within me hiding in slumber, It has always been waiting for me to go under. Everything went down, My body, my mind, my heart. I didn't want to drown But it was also hard to start. I felt no motivation to move, The fire in my eyes was gone. Every positivity was removed,

I felt like I was carrying a ton. I fell into a pit, then I broke. I felt like I was being choked. Everything seemed quiet and still, But the world was moving with free will. I clenched my fists, little by little. I realized I shouldn't stay forever brittle. Better than staying still is to try and stagger. Succeeding is the goal but trying is what matters. Right now, I'm still inside the pit. But now I'm not just in sit, I'm gathering the dirt and using it as a ladder. Slowly but sturdy, for it not to shatter. Whatever you may be doing, Always watch where you are going. If ever you fall into a pit, Don't be afraid to get out of it.

My life is like a shadow in an empty

wood, Walking across barefooted upon wearing my hood. The creatures I passed by seemed to be bothered, At a stranger who had never been heard. On the verge of the night, I only see darkness. As I lay down, I just see the sky starless. Why did the world make my existence go like this? Living my life full of crises. Diving into the depth of the ocean, unable to drift back, Scream turns into bubbles as I go into the deep black. Tears are like rain, but it was dispersed in vain, Staring into the burning abyss, for this is now my domain. Living my life as a miner, But gold is not enough to escape what I suffer. Often try so hard to hide these scars, Tired of wondering why I seem to be locked in bars. 21 | Paper Cuts

W M G

WRITTEN BY JOVIC ALQUERO, ANGEL MORTEGA, & CEDRIC SINOGBA GRAPHICS BY KIA MAY BOITIZON

Why do I have to cross a road this rough? Just for me to stand firm, acting like I’m tough, As I continue on with this one kind of journey, I wonder what kind of success lies ahead of me. Loving myself didn’t mean a lot to me before, But with my carelessness neglecting, I broke my core, Seeking warmth and comfort, For the love that I deserved and asked for. Worry not, for I am aware, Of how life to me is so unfair, Hoping you’d understand the pain I’m going through, Things may be hard to tell, but what I speak to you is true. I closed my eyes, hoping everyone could see. That happiness is the only thing I want to guarantee. Reminding myself not to worry much of the future and past, For it’s not too late to make memories and find happiness at last.

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Batt-Life

Waking up means another day to be alive Recharged and filled with energy to survive Glad to see that my phone is charged since five ‘Cause I will be using until mom arrives LAYOUT BY DAVID GOYENA

9 A.M, time to prepare and dress, time for classes Time to enter the meet brimming with lasses Time to open the camera and wait until it flashes Now used to study while sibling watches After the class meeting, time to

do other things amusing What’s the status of the phone? Is it still working? Yes, I guess it has no choice because I’m boring Time to play songs I found comforting Fifteen percent phone still functions I need to work hard for my education Action and attention are required in this situation To be successful and have a million But like a zero percent phone, I was drained Looks like a mess because I’m stressed Exhausted like an animal running from east to west Now I pretend not to look worthy less

Paper Cuts | 24 I’m tired of being a pretender. I want to give up and surrender. After pouring all the effort, I don’t feel better. It was time to get off at the next stopover. This is the reality that others might not see. Shadowing the fact that most of us are not free. Free from the cuffs behind the word degree. Yet to have a brighter future, we must use it as a key So we must continue and recharge to accumulate energy Just like a phone, we have capabilities and memory We must not abuse it and should utilize it cleverly Slow down, and take your time to reach your goals fully.

Journey WRITTEN BY JV ABUNDA GRAPHICS BY RYE PRILLES

VERSE I

It was a sunny day, and the heat touched my skin.

I packed my things and was excited about the journey that remains unseen I open my mind, my soul. This is the first time that I will leave A long trip will reach a destination that I couldn’t find on my sleeve. My Momma said I only need to be the best and have some rest, I should be vigorous in every corner of life may test. 25 | Paper Cuts

Behaving properly is the bridge to being blessed. In my mind, I want to enjoy and find what is in my chest. I am the little John who does not know anything. Empty baggage and a bag of hope, the one that I bring This is the life that I thought so perfect, like staying on the swing “I want to be that man!” The lyrics that I always sing. VERSE II

An hour later, the bus suddenly moved to the west I had never heard this quite

loud silence; the sun was near to set It has beauty but is full of sadness; this moment possessed What does it mean? It seems like the darker energy of threat. Oh! Why does the sky need to become gloomy? It seems like this perfect life doesn’t know me. “Sir, can we please go back?” the word that I wanted to say But I am terrified to speak up because of this strange way. The darkness runs and spreads out in this place. The sound of the wind that

is calling challenges and disgrace, Everything happened in a faster phase. I look around and observe that I am alone in this chase. VERSE III The bus reaches an area with no lights and a rocky road. It stopped and said we needed to go out and take out the load. “The bus is broken,” the driver spoke; his words were like a code, This feels like I have been neglected and tossed. I step my feet forward and find myself walking in the east I start to move rather than wait for something less. Only a few lucky ones are born into privileges,

But it doesn’t guarantee the easy process and end in happiness. I still have this little hope in my bag. It gets heavier, this emotional baggage that I need to drag On the walking journey where I thought life was great But the reality is, it is harsh that you will hate. VERSE IV In this journey of life, I learned to be tough and brave Because no one will come at the moment that I need to be saved. In this lifetime, destiny played and made me a slaved I know that I am alive, but at this time, I barely lived. As I grew up, I realized life

is not a laughing matter I do not have time to let my heart be flatter Because we need to battle demons on this journey Or let the monster eat us without having any mercy. This place makes me cold, and it has an entire fog scene. It seems like this traffic light will never turn into green But I will work hard and put my effort into extremes And find the chance to catch my bigger dreams. LAYOUT BY ROMAR CASTRO

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s ' e b i r Sc en P the

WRITTEN BY MARK JOSHUA BARDON GRAPHICS BY MA. JULINE JOSE

A scribbler cultivates sprouts,

Using the scribe's pen. Those will flourish instantly into plants, That will quench the reader's mind. Every word pondered delicately, Can be enchanting if grasped rightly. Every tantalizing, sensible phrase, Has the potential to enkindle a dormant flame. Writing is a contagious form of luxury — That has the capability of enchanting someone— To be inspired, to start scribbling — To be the next holder of the scribe's pen. 27 | Paper Cuts

LAYOUT BY ROMAR CASTRO

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WRITTEN BY GIYAN CALABIA, MAR DELLORO, & SEAN NERO GRAPHICS BY KIA MAY BOITIZON

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Judgements and

imperfections, Naked truth and dressed lie. If this poem gets into you, Be empowered and be inspired. In this poetic mundane I envy the idea of standards In here we celebrate the unique the failure, the broken, the bastards We riot against the normal burn society’s standards all we want, In battle we slaughter the wicked residing on the rules they own “If you own a pretty face,

the world is your oyster You’ll be hell’s favorite doll and heaven’s new preacher” “Your mistakes shall define you, Your skin and weight most of all, Our words decide who you are, You’re worth nothing when you fall” These are but illusions made for the death of humanity Followed by those not strong enough to fight for their sanity Opinions of humankind, Rule and break us all down. Setting qualities,

Carrying the world upon us. Let not society control and break those that are meant to shine Fear not the bullets they shoot Be your own shield and lifeline Flaws are like badges of honor, Wear it and be proud. The darkest of times is yet to come, Stand out and choose to be freed. In this poem we celebrate the betterment of our tomorrow The imperfections within us and in this life we borrowed. Paper Cuts | 30

Ms. Charlene Kris A. Borbe

GRAP Y MA. HICS B

acknowledgement.

E JOS

JULIN

Words are phantom that were created as a voice to be heard, For tribute, reflection, and deepest gratitudes collected from the ocean’s abysses

FRONT AND BACK COVER BY MA. JULINE JOSE