An Astrological- Circle Of Goddesses and how they would help

BY CRYSTAL EVES

What would it look like if, oh, I don’t know, some astrologer in an act of feminine assertion (it was me) invented a feminine deity for each of the zodiac signs? Well, that would essentially result in a zodiacal Circle of Goddesses, who, if invoked, might each assist you in their own particular way, such as the following.

Aries, the Get Your Butt in Gear Goddess

“That’s right, get off your butt and get moving. You said you wanted to do it, what’s stopping you? You’re afraid of failing? Who cares, life is for living and there’s no time like the present. I brought you this t-shirt to remind you, it says, “Carpe That Bloody Diem”. Now get off of that fence and get going. Don’t make me push you!”

Taurus, the Leave my Chocolates Alone Goddess

“No need to be hasty, nothing is that urgent. The best thing you can do is stay the course. It won’t kill people to wait. In the meantime, how about I cook us up a nice meal and you book us a massage? Then we can think about what matters most and how to keep building on those values. Hey, those are my chocolates, don’t touch them, but you should definitely get your own because they are delicious.”

Gemini, the Meme and Chit Chat Goddess

“I’m here, oh, just a minute let me finish this text. Okay, sorry, what’s up? How can I help with your issue? Do you need to talk? D’you wanna go window shopping? Actually, let’s see what’s on Netflix—a distraction is always good. Speaking of, did you see what your neighbour posted? Unbelievable! Oh, hey if you’re looking for a reference, I can give you one, or if you need a tradesperson, I’ve got tons of numbers for you. Listen, I have to run, but before I go, I’ve got a great joke for you….”

Cancer, the I Made You Soup Goddess

“I’m just calling to see if you’re okay. I didn’t come over in case you wanted to be alone. Did you get the results back? Do you need anything? Food? Company? Someone to walk the dog? If you want, I can just listen on the other end of the line. You don’t even have to say anything. Mostly, I just want you to know that I’m here and that you’re loved, and if you want me to come over, I’ll be right there.”

Leo, the Let’s Celebrate Goddess

“You know what you need? A night out. It’ll be fun—I’m excited already! Let’s book that trendy restaurant and then go out dancing. There’ll be music and food, maybe we’ll have a few drinks. You can wear that new outfit— which looks amaze-balls on you, by the way. I hope you know how wonderful you are! Skoosh in for a picture!”

Virgo, the I Already Booked it Goddess

“I’m just checking to see if you need any help getting everything done. I’ve made a list of the important tasks and I figure if we break them down into smaller jobs, it’ll go much faster. By the way, don’t worry about making the booking, I already took care of that. I figured you’d be busy. Also, I brought us a green smoothie for when we’re working. No sense ignoring our health just because we’re busy, right? We’ll have this handled in no time. Is that broccoli in your teeth? Here, I brought a toothpick.”

Libra, the No Harm in Flirting Goddess

“You have a problem, you say? Well, the important thing is to weigh your options. Don’t just jump at your first choice; think it through logically. Bounce it off other people; they might have a perspective that you don’t. Can I try a bite of your dinner? I should have ordered what you ordered; it looks good. By the way, that person over there has been eyeing you all evening…”

Scorpio, the Things Aren’t Always as the Seem Goddess

“My advice to you is: don’t reveal your cards just yet. You’ll find out more when they think you don’t know. In the meantime, do you have access to their email? I’m not saying hack in, but it’s left open, it’s not a crime to look. Also, let’s pull a tarot card and see what it says. Couldn’t hurt to recruit the powers of the universe right now.”

Sagittarius, the You Have Options Goddess

“If it really bothers you quit, just leave. You don’t have put up with that! You could be on a beach somewhere, right now, enjoying yourself in the sun. You’re talented, you’re funny, you’ve got lots of opportunities! The world is your oyster. You’re totally free to choose whatever you want! And hey, if you do go to a beach, I’d be happy to join.”

Capricorn, the Don’t Let Anyone Outwork You Goddess

“The thing is, almost every problem can be solved with the earnest application of hard work. It’s not rocket science. Just figure out what you want to get out of the situation and work it backwards from there. Step by step, make it happen and before you know it, you’ll have everything that you want.”

Aquarius, You Can’t Make Me Goddess

“Look, you have to do things your own way. Who said you have to follow the rules? Who made them, and why are they the boss of you? The most important thing is that you be your authentic self, if that means bending some rules, so be it.”

Pisces, the I’ll See How I Feel Goddess

“I sense that you’re feeling confused. No worries, these foggy moments happen. It’s best to let your intuition guide you through this. Things will unfold properly, you’ll see. The trick is to align with the present moment. Here’s a healing crystal that might help. Do you want to come to yoga with me? No? Well, wait a bit and see how you feel later.”