2020 Jan Unite

January 2020 Volume 30/ Number 1 • Find Digital Version @ www.unitenewsonline.org •

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Springfield Honors

Legacy, Life & Work Of American Civil Rights Leader

New HEALTH & WELLNESS Column

Make 2020 Your Best Year: It’s Time To Revive,

Restore & Rejuvenate YOU! Young Diverse Professionals Meet et

A social support group for young professionals of color

Dr. Martin L. King, Jr. Civil Rights Leader 1929 -1968

Read about a new business opening in SGF: Springfield Braiding Company / PAGE 8

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ALSO IN THIS ISSUE

Secret to a Happy Marriage PAGE 11 / Excerpts to ponder as we embark ona new decade PAGE 7

Tableof Contents

Community Legacy, Life & Work Of American Civil Rights Leader Dr. Martin L. King, Jr.

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Community Diana Vargas: Diversity and Outreach specialist for O’Reilly Hospitality Management

Page 7

Health & Wellness Make 2020 You Best Year: It’s Time To Revive, Restore & Rejuvenate YOU!

Page 10

Next Month

Business & Money Simfoni Capital: Impact Investing in Conscious Consumption, Poverty Alleviation, Community Building, and Alternative Health

Business & Money Springfield Braiding Company: A one-stop-shop for all-natural hair care and protective styling

Page 8

Community Winter Reading Challenge for Adults

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Community Young Diverse Professions: A social support group for young professionals of color

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Community George Washington Carver Day of Recognition: Jan 4th & 5th

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Unite News Building Empowering Connections | Page 3

See How CU Can

Work With You Plumbers, caterers, landscapers, exterminators, and more are all needed to help City Utilities of Springfield operate on a day-to-day basis. If you offer a good or a service, CU has opportunities. Call 417-831-8363 or visit cityutilities.net, key search “Purchasing”, to learn about ways for us to work together.

It is the policy of City Utilities to offer equal opportunity to individuals without regard to race, color, religion, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, ancestry, national origin, disability, age, genetic information, veteran status, or marital status.

301 East Central, Springfield • 417.863.9000

cityutilities.net

GORMAN-SCHARPF FUNERAL HOME, INC

The Quality And Care That You Expect In 242 Years Of Combined Experience W. Bruce Howell Robert J. Lohmeyer Don R. Lohmeyer Heather K. Howell Angela N. Collins Harley R. Williams 886-9996 Clint W. Mease Russ Allen

(417) 886-9994 • Fax: (417) 1947 E. Seminole Springfield, Missouri 65804

EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES

Missouri State University is an Equal Opportunity/Affirmative Action/Minority/Female/Veterans/Disability/Sexual Orientation/ Gender Identity Employer and Institution. Employment will require a criminal background check at university expense.

UNITE. Volume 30, Number 1

MANAGEMENT MANAGING EDITOR & PRESIDENT Samuel G. Knox ASSOCIATE EDITOR & VICE PRESIDENT Tyra K Knox ASSISTANT EDITOR & DIGITAL STRATAGIST Amber Donaldson CONTENT CONTRIBUTING WRITER, Melesha Bailey CONTRIBUTING WRITER, Lyle Foster CONTRIBUTING WRITER, Tyra Knox CONTRIBUTING WRITER , Gwen Marshall CONTRIBUTING WRITER Kathleen O'Dell CONTRIBUTING WRITER Daniel Ogunyemi CONTRIBUTING WRITER Francine Pratt CONTRIBUTING WRITER Sativa Boatman-Sloan CREATIVE TEAM PHOTOGRAPHY, Amber Donaldson PHOTOGRAPHY, Erin Gamble FESTIVAL GRAPHIC DESIGN, Bradley Knox COMMUNITY ADVISORY GROUP COMMUNITY ADVISORY MEMBER Christopher Palma COMMUNITY ADVISORY MEMBER Jasmine Bailey COMMUNITY ADVISORY MEMBER Diana Vargas

The Unite. publication is a monthly newspaper published by Unite of Southwest Missouri, Inc. a 501(c)(3) non-profit community organization. Our mission is to promote a broader understanding and appreciation of the ethnically diverse talent, community resources and opportunities available in the Springfield/Greene County area. Distribution of Unite. is by free circulation at various locations. However, request for home delivery by mail may be directed to Unite. P. O. Box 1745, Springfield, Missouri 65801 and accompanied by $25. for one year’s postage and handling.

Those wishing to make a contribution or become a monthly sponsor should direct correspondence to the same address. Reader’s comments and questions are welcomed. The opinions expressed in these pages do not necessarily reflect the views of Unite. of Southwest Missouri, Inc. “The Unite Publication in accepting advertising in this publication, makes no independent investigation concerning the services of products advertised and neither endorses nor recommends the same and assumes no liability therefore.”

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If so, Missouri State has a place for you.

With a campus community filled with diverse perspectives, voices and opinions, Missouri State is fulfilling its commitment to address the needs of a changing society.

The Unite News Publication is published by Unite. of Southwest Missouri, Inc.

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The Unite News Publication is in the process of updating content and the way we deliver news to our readers. We want to hear from you!

Your input is very important to us. Please help us out by taking our short 5 question survey by scanning the QR code. You may also send a letter to us by mail to: Unite P.O. Box 1745, Springfield. MO 65801

“If you would like to advertise your message in the Unite News Publication or on our website, please contact our office at (417) 864-7444. “

- Samuel Knox

Community: Events & People January 4 & 5, 2020 1:00 pm George Washington Carver National Monument George Washington Carver’s rise from slavery to scientific accomplishment has George Washington Carver inspired millions since his death on January 5th, 1943. Join us on this 77th anniversary of Carver’s passing to learn more about his life. Iowa Public Television produced a new documentary in 2018, George Washington Carver: An Uncommon Life, which uncovers Carver’s complexities and reveals the full impact of his life and work.

This film will be shown January 4th and 5th at 1:00 p.m., and includes a discussion with a park ranger to explore the life and legacy of George Washington Carver.

January 20, 2020 MLK March & Program 9 am Jordan Valley Ice Park, Program at Gillioz Theatre

The MLK march will begin promptly at 9:00 am. Participants will Dr. Martin L. King, Jr. march together to the Gillioz Theater for a program that will celebrate our community through the arts. There will be an acknowledgement of the Springfield Public School (SPS) students who won the essay and art contests.

The NAACP will be collecting outerwear donations (hats, gloves, scarves, etc.) for SPS students at the ice park and at the Gillioz Theater. The MLK March will be celebrating 50 years. The Springfield NAACP chapter will be honoring the 3 men who started the march --- Denny Whayne, Calvin Allen and Jerry D. Johnson (deceased). The Gillioz Theatre will also be recognized for it’s long history and acknowledgement of a Black usher and his wife (The Coopers) who served the theatre during segregation and currently today.

WInter Reading Challenge for adults, Watch Bumblebee & Enter Jigsaw Puzzle Competition

January 20, 2020 12pm - 4 pm Oasis Hotel & Convention Center The Springfield Multicultural Festival is an annual performing arts and community resource expo designed to provide access to cultural enrichment through the visual and performing arts. The festival features two main components: The festival also features a community resource expo with over 50 exhibitors connecting our guests with local Financial Services, Health Care information, Career and Employment opportunities. The event is open to the general public. $5 for adults Free for kids 17 and under.

Sean Nevills, a teacher and coach in Springfield Public Schools, stepped down last month to take a job with the Missouri Department of Elementary and Secondary Education.

Leggett & Platt has hired Jeffrey L. Tate as executive vice president and chief financial officer to succeed Matt Flanigan, who is retiring.

Tate brings 27 years Jeffrey L. Tate of senior-level finance, operating and general management experience with The Dow Chemical Company, Packaging & Specialty Plastics operating segment.

Forget summer reading for the moment, we think winter is prime time to catch up on reading, so we’ve launched the Winter Reading Challenge for adults. And it comes with a gift!

Anytime in January through February, pick up a Winter Reading Challenge form at the checkout desk of any library branch or Mobile Library. There are 15 reading “challenges” that may delight you, push you outside your reading comfort zone, or introduce you to a new, favorite genre.

Read at least five books among the 15 topic challenges, turn in your completed challenge form to your library branch and receive a pretty mug for being a Winter Reading Master! The challenges include read an author new to you, an author of color, a book set in an imaginary world, and more.

••• Catch a Saturday, Jan. 18 movie matinee and watch “Bumblebee” (rated PG-13) from 2-4 p.m. in the Library Station Santa Fe Room. Popcorn provided.

••• For a fun family winter event, enter the Jigsaw Puzzle Competition on Thursday, Feb. 6, from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. in the Library Station Frisco Room.

Gather friends, family and neighbors for a team of 2-4 people and race to be the first to finish a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle. Space is limited. Registration is underway, call (417)616-0683.

Kathleen O’Dell is community relations director of the Springfield-Greene County Library District. She can be reached at kathleeno@thelibrary.org.

... See more community events and people on page 7 Unite News Building Empowering Connections | Page 5

Young Diverse Professions:

A social support group for young professionals of color in Springfield

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here Dreams Come True… I have a shirt at home from a local company that has these very words imprinted. Movements from this city also include taglines such as Enjoy the Life You Want from liveinspringfield.com and Jeff Houghton’s Make Something Where You Are. Additionally, I would argue that perhaps Springfield’s greatest assets include the people in the city and the accessibility to those individuals. What undertones are included in these hopeful sentiments though?

I recall an iconic legend’s famous I Have a Dream Speech that envisioned a nation where diversity and inclusion were no longer a hot-button issue because equity, access, equal rights, respect, and mutual understanding would be so easily achieved.

The sad reality is that many people still struggle to grasp onto the practicality of this dreamwhether from 1963 Daniel Ogunyemi or 2020. Who do Unite Contributing Writer I look up to? How can I (a young, black man) dream to be a CEO when I struggle to name very many black CEOs? Or politicians? Or frankly anything that is not an athlete, rapper/musician, fast-food employee, or front-line worker… now D&I practitioner? On top of that, most knowledge and perceptions that are stigmatized for people of color come from the news and other media outlets. Do you see some of the problem?

The good news is I have found Springfield to be an awesome place to live and grow a family… for some. For others, it is a reiteration

of the notion that “we” don’t belong. When I began my journey of community involvement, people would ask me, “Do you know Wes Pratt?

Samuel Knox? Lyle Foster?” Later, I discovered that these were well-respected, successful Black leaders in this community. While I appreciate the well-meaning gesture of others that were interested in connecting me with people that looked like me, it made me wonder- “Is this all I’m good for? Is this all that they are good for?” I drew this conclusion on a couple of different facts: 1) Basically, the ONLY time I saw a person of color in the community was if invited to talk about diversity and inclusion and 2) The only ones being called were the aforementioned names and a few others. I firmly believe that I stand on the shoulders of these respected persons of color that have dedicated their lives to fighting for equal justice for the community. I also believe that this community has a way of completely exhausting people of color and dictating their dreams for them.

Not only have I been able to build relationships

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and mentorships with my predecessors, I have gotten to know other persons of color that are in my generation. These friends of mine DESPERATELY want to be involved in and connected to their community. Unfortunately, it is extremely disheartening when you are the only person of color in almost EVERY room you walk in; it is extremely disheartening when you have less than 5 years of work history and your employer expects you to fix their diversity issues; it is extremely disheartening when it is almost automatically assumed that you want to be on the Diversity and Inclusion committee/ taskforce; it is extremely disheartening when you have to question whether or not you have been recruited for employment or volunteer work to be the “token.” So, I started a social support group for young professionals of color.

Thankfully, I have been blessed enough to be involved in many conversations and have the ambition {and naivety} to continue to pursue my own dreams. However, not all my peers Continued on page 7

Diverse Professionals Continued from page 6

have experienced that same fortune. I discovered that given the opportunity, people will perform tasks and support initiatives IF they feel welcomed to do so. So, the need was identified, and I accepted the internal compulsion to do something about it. Without very much permission, I texted about 25 of my friends that fit these demographics about the idea to gauge their availability and interest. We settled on the First Friday of every month at 7:30 AM with the goal of building a sense of community and belonging amongst ourselves. We have also added an extra social component for individuals to attend in the afternoon/evening along with their families. It is awesome to see the magic of people connecting; being able to talk freely and comfortably about various topics including where to get appropriate hair care, the struggle with feeling isolated or uninvited in the community, the frustration with the obligatory diversity and inclusion mantle,

suggestions in dealing with discomfort in the workplace, and other social networks made for personal and professional growth.

Let me tell you what this group is not. It is not an opportunity to make others feel not young enough, not brown enough, not involved enough. On the contrary, we try to provide a space where people are excited to attend because they can call the group theirs without fear of being misunderstood or reduced to a number/box. Our group is not slated to overtake The Network, Minorities in Business, NAACP, or any other similar group. Instead, it is our goal to help facilitate community involvement, connections, and development of those that engage.

Thus far, we have had close to 30+ different individuals attend since the inception, averaging about 10-15 people per meetup. My hope is that natural friendships and contacts are birthed from this group and we encourage members to become involved with community causes of personal passion; you know, sort of an ombudsman for involvement, middle-man group, welcoming committee, you catch my drift...

Since many [I] refer to me as the “Networking Wingman,” I enjoy helping people explore and discover their passions and bridging pathways to be involved. I don’t know where this group will go, but I do know that it is our goal to make Springfield the place where EVERYONE can experience their dreams!

A few excerpts to ponder as we embark on a new decade This month I would like to share a few excerpts for you and your child to ponder Gwen Marshall Unite Contributing Writer as we embark on a new decade. They’re from “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!” by Dr. Seuss. Somehow, they just seem to capture the promises and challenges of the new year ahead. So, 2020s here we come!

You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes You can steer yourself any direction you choose.

You’re on your own. And you know what you know.

And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

Everyone goes through both good times and bad times, EVEN when they are successful, and there is a good chance they are, if they are comfortable with their own skin. It’s how you choose to handle the things that you cannot control which define how you will

succeed in the face of upsetting challenges and losses.

Or basically, the way out when things aren’t going your way.

Wherever you fly, you’ll be the best of the best.

Wherever you go, you will top all the rest. Except when you don’t Because, sometimes, you won’t. I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true and Hang-ups can happen to you.

And when things start to happen. Don’t worry. Don’t stew.

Just go right along.

You’ll start happening too.

You were made to do the impossible, because impossible is made possible through each step you take, so never put a limit to who you can be and what you can achieve.

And will you succeed?

Yes! You will, indeed!

(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.) Every day belongs to you. Congratulations!

Today is your day.

You’re off to Great Places You’re off and away!

Kid, You’ll Move Mountains If You Only Believe!

Saturday, January 25th 11a.m.

- 2 p.m. 1st Annual Pitts Chapel Chili Cookoff at The Downtown Church, 413 E. Walnut, Springfield, MO. Prizes and trophy presentation at 2:30 pm.

Entry fee: $25 Admission: $5.00 Email: pittschapel2019@gmail.com to request an entry form. Entry deadline is January 21, 2020.

Diana Vargas: Diversity and Outreach specialist for O’Reilly Hospitality Management Diana Vargas has always been interested Diana Vargas in hospitality and travel. Missouri State University’s hospitality leadership program gave Vargas the best of both worlds with a hospitality leadership degree.

“I was looking for the best program, and I found MSU,” Vargas said.

Finding the right path Vargas grew up in Bogotá, Colombia. She started going to a community college in Bentonville, Arkansas, and eventually made it to Springfield, Missouri.

One thing Vargas loved about the hospitality leadership program was the professors. “The professors are amazing,” Vargas said. “They’re able to just take you to the right path.”

One of Vargas’s favorite professors was Dr. Jokima Hiller, assistant professor of hospitality leadership. “She’s not going to teach you,” Vargas said. “She inspires you to do your best, be better and always work with passion.”

Securing a job Vargas graduated from Missouri State in May 2019.

She had offers from Hotel Nikko, the Hyatt Regency St. Louis and O’Reilly Hospitality Management (OHM). Since she had fallen in love with Springfield and OHM, she chose to stay here.

Vargas is currently the diversity and outreach specialist. She works to put the right people in the right positions at the right locations.

Unite News Building Empowering Connections | Page 7

Springfield Braiding Company: A one-stop-shop for all-natural hair care and protective styling

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pringfield Braiding Company held its grand opening last month on December 1, 2019. The business, located at 219 E. Commercial St. in Springfield, MO, is quickly becoming a one-stop-shop for all-natural hair care and protective styling. Unite had the opportunity to sit down with the owner, Champale Love-Hudson for a quick interview.

Love-Hudson, a native of St. Louis, moved to the area four years ago and was inspired to open Springfield Braiding Company. “I used to work in the back of a barbershop and I just wanted to expand and do my own thing and a lot of bigger cities have braiding shops on every corner and we don’t have enough here for ethnic hair, African American Hair,” Love-Hudson said. “There weren’t a lot of options so I just wanted to branch out and open my own.” When asked about how she liked the move to Springfield she responded, “I like it a lot. It’s very peaceful and quiet. The air is cleaner than St. Louis and we have a lot of parks here, that’s my favorite.” Before moving to Springfield, Love-Hudson attended college in Cape Girardeau at SEMO, Southeast Missouri State University, pursuing a degree in Computer Information Systems but quickly found the coursework to be endless, given the rapid pace of changing technology. She had always done hair on the side for family and friends and she knew that she wanted to turn her passion into a career instead of continuing on with something that she didn’t love.

Springfield Braiding Company is open Monday - Saturday from 9:30 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. and is closed on Sundays. The salon offers many styling options including over 20 + options for braids, twists, faux locs, regular locs, sew-in styles, dreads, cornrows, and more. “For most

Springfield Braiding Company - Featured Left to Right - Robert Graves, Nick, Champale Love-Hudson, Faith Hawkins, and Adrian Williams

services, you can get in the next day, appointments aren’t always necessary. They are recommended but we have a few styles available that fit in-between booked appointment times, ” says Love-Hudson. A big plus about getting your hair done at Springfield Braiding Company is that braiding session times are often cut in half compared to when you’re doing them yourself at home. “We actually team up on long styles so styles that usually take 6-8 hours, it may take us two-in-a-half to four hours. That’s another thing we’re offering is a faster service. It gets it done faster and we can still keep the momentum going.

When you’re at home you start getting lazy and people just get tired of doing the same thing for six hours so, they stop and slow down and lose motivation, whereas if it’s two of us, we can get it done in two-in-a-half to four hours and we’re still pretty upbeat at the two-hour mark, so it’s

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not too bad,” says Love-Hudson.

Springfield Braiding Company is currently hiring more braiders. If you’re interested in becoming a braider at the Springfield Braiding Company they will help you get the certification that is needed. Love-Hudson said, “We have everything as far as helping them get their license, registration, state licensing, all the paperwork and everything professionally needed. They just need to bring their braiding skills.” Last year Missouri dropped their cosmetology school requirement for hair braiding and opened the barrier to entry for many home braiders to work professionally in salons. More information is available on Facebook @Springfield Braiding Company or call (314) 800-6537.

Springfield Braiding Company is currently hiring more braiders.

by Amber Donaldson, Unite Contributing Writer & Photograher

the West Area also good with tilapia and ahi that seeing these computers division. The women tuna. You may want to try the sisters work their magic in mathare played by some easily recogematics will inspire some young nizable women in the person men and women to become engiof Taraji P. Henson, Octavia neers and scientists and wildly Spencer and Janelle Monae. succeed in technology as well.

Their acting ability can bring The real message of the film any story to life and the reality might be one for our society that it really happened simply still and that is when you are t happens far too often. A fall, a stroke, or other tragedy suddenly forces you makes it even more powerful. trying to get a man in space to make difficult decisions about moving your loved one into a nursing home.

The film doesn’t hide from you don’t time and room Ideally, you have already made plans for when youhave are faced with these difficult the racial andsogender climate for because prejudice in your way.to decisions, some stresses areofalleviated youto areget better equipped the day and with theare lead charHopefully we will learn that know how your assets affected. acters beingplanning black and femaleis preferred about else in life as Although in advance and everything encouraged, life does happen. inCrisis a male dominated space race planning becomes necessary when awell. person has already entered a nursing home—or must be field placedone in one has been informed thatthese he or she and engineering canvery soon—and Please try to support has too many assets qualify for Medicaidincredible assistance. films and let me know imagine the day totoday challengInformation provided by friends, family, social workers, nursing home intake es that they face. The film gives what you think! staff, and even of date or even wrong.

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11 to 9 and until 10 on Friday and Saturday. Four forks!!!

What Can You Do If You Haven’t Prepared for the Nursing Home?

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complicated and ever-changing.

In Missouri, what was previously named Medicaid is now known as MO HealthNet. In most cases, when a family member goes into a nursing home some of their consistent with cuisine assets can be saved. However, this is a veryAnd complex area of law, andthe no two people there iswith an an abundance of tequila have the same set of circumstances. A consultation attorney practicing in continued from page 8 the area of Elder Law can save you time andas money, even you are confronted well so if when that is your drink with a crisis situation.

Most people an you attorney cantohelp much too early to find out but Idon’t even or realize that isthat what want try them in this type of situation, but it can really make the difference in being able have been told by very reliable in the new year you are now to qualify forthat Medicaid more quickly and in potentially saving their sources the margaritas informed.

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Restaurant Column

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By Sativa Boatman-Sloan, Attotney at Law Unite Contributing Writer

Thinking of starting a business in 2020? Two upcoming programs will answer many of your questions On Thursday, Jan. 23 from 5:30-8 p.m. in the Library Center meeting room B, hear about Financial Statement Basics for Small Business Owners. Get help demystifying financial statements and learn basic financial terms and concepts. Call 417-986-4730 or visit swmissouri. score.org and click on “Local Workshops,” to register.

Thursday, Feb. 13, from 5:30-8 p.m. in the Library Center meeting room B, hear about Microlending: Accessing Capital When You’re a Small Business. Learn how U.S. Small Business Administration-backed microloans are designed to help aspiring entrepreneurs. Both sessions are sponsored

by Southwest Missouri SCORE. Call 417-986-4730 or visit swmissouri. score.org and click Local Workshops to register beginning Jan. 30.

Unite News Building Empowering Connections | Page 9

Health & Wellness News Make 2020 Your Best Year: It’s Time To Revive, Restore & Rejuvenate YOU!

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nother year has passed. Do you feel like it moved way too fast? Was it hard keeping up with so many changes this past year and the last decade?

Did you start out with great expectations of making significant changes in your life? You may have wanted to learn a new skill, read more, spend quality time with your family, and concentrate on your own personal needs.

Whatever it was, did you accomplish your goals?

As we begin a New Year it’s a great time to think about your greatest desires and write out your goals and dreams. Doing this sets you on a course to create a plan of action to accomplish your goals. According to a Huffington Post article written by Dr. Gail Matthews of the Dominican University of California you are 42% more likely to achieve your goals and dreams, simply by writing them down on a regular basis. Purchasing a journal, or using an on-online resource will get your goals out of your head and onto paper, for daily reflection and inspiration, so you can visually see and track your progress.

According to a study done by the University of Scranton, 92% of New Year’s Resolutions fail. Another study showed that 73% of people who set health and wellness goals, fall by the wayside within a few weeks. Why? Because we didn’t formulate a plan of action. As the old saying goes, “people don’t plan to fail, they fail to plan.”

Melesha Bailey, Certified Nutritional Holistic Health Coach

Do you feel better or worse than you did a year ago? How many times have you put YOU on a shelf and not dealt with chronic issues regarding your health (excess weight, sleep problems, diabetes, stress, etc.) ?

2020 is your year to take charge of your life, to finally put YOU first! It’s time to complete what you may have started and stopped many times. Proclaim this is my year for me!

The New Year is an opportune time to begin transforming your mindset. Start by saying to yourself; “NOW is the time to Revive me, and start making changes to Restore my health by making healthy lifestyle choices TODAY to Rejuvenate my life now and forever!”

Here are some steps to jumpstart your plan: 1. Be Present: for you. Take time to smell the roses

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2. Have more gratitude: It will always change your outlook 3. Feed your mind: spiritually, mentally and emotionally.

4. Sit less and move more 5. Eat better: less processed foods and sugary drinks to start Making changes to your health, especially if you are dealing with some health issues, can be a challenge because of the time and effort that is required . I am a certified nutritional holistic health coach and as a new Unite columnist, my focus is providing practical resources and tools to Revive, Restore, and Rejuvenate your health and wellness by creating a mindset for Renewal in all areas of your life.

For more information please visit my website www.love4lifewellness or my Facebook page Melesha’s Love 4 Life Wellness for my blogs, recipes and coaching tips.

Secret to a Happy Marriage: Put Your Spouse First

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by Mel Robbins For Success Magazine

he E! reporter, Giuliana Rancic, said putting her husband first, and the baby second is the secret to her happy marriage.

I couldn’t agree more. As you might suspect, a nuclear meltdown happened online as women who put their kids first came out on attack. I was invited to appear on Good Morning America to defend Giuliana.

If you watch the segment, you’ll meet these two female bloggers who basically say the kids always come first and then laugh about where their spouses fall on the list…. “If you asked me what the breakdown was I would say my children, my girlfriends, then my husband.

But…don’t tell him that because he doesn’t know it.” And then they laugh hysterically like it’s all a big joke.

Marriage isn’t a joke. It’s something we work hard at and are tremendously proud of. I want it to last a lifetime, which is why I treat it accordingly.

I bet her husband‘s breakdown is the same:

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my children, my girlfriends and then my wife….but don’t tell her because she doesn’t know it because she’s too busy focusing on her kids, her friends and her self. Marriage isn’t a joke. If you put your spouse last; it’s a tragic, sad affair. My husband Chris and I have been together for 19 years. Like you, our lives are consumed by the logistics of running a household, managing careers and caring for our three kids and a dog. Like you, our lives are impossibly busy. Like you, we love our kids. Our marriage provides the foundation for

everything that we’ve built together. It isn’t a joke. It’s something we work hard at and are tremendously proud of. I want it to last a lifetime, which is why I treat it accordingly. If you stop and think about it, it’s the way it should be. You should put your marriage first: A strong marriage is the healthiest thing you can give your kids. Your kids feel safe and loved when they see two parents who work as a team, take interest in each other, make an effort, display both respect and affection and act like one another’s favorite, even after all these years.

If you put your spouse first, your marriage will last your lifetime. If you want your marriage to last your lifetime, give it the attention and effort it deserves. Your kids will live with you for just two short decades. Putting your marriage on cruise control for 20 years, while you focus on your kids is like falling asleep at the wheel—deadly. When your kids leave, your

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A Transition Specialist at school can help with finding a job

s your child with Autism makes the transition into the workforce, there are several places in town that can assist your family. The first resource is through the transition specialist at your child’s school.

They will be the best resource for getting you headed in the right direction with this process.

They have a transition guide that lists many resources that will be very helpful. You can also reach out to your case management agency whether it is Abilities First, WCPartners, CCLinks, etc. for additional help with resources available. I’ve been able to compile a small list of some area agencies that can help with this transition as well.

Vocational Rehab The Missouri Division of Vocational Rehabilitation’s (VR) main mission is “to provide oppor-

tunities and resources to eligible individuals with disabilities leading to successful employment.” Their services include assistance in finding you a job, developing job-seeking skills, guidance in choosing suitable employment, vocational training to prepare you for employment, and many other services. For a full list of services visit: https://dese.mo.gov/adult-learning-rehabilitation-services/vocational-rehabilitation.

Preferred Employment Services

I spoke with Lori Dunn, Manager of ASD at Preferred Employment Services, and she shared that Preferred Employment Services helps clients with Autism find a job. They have a job coach that can help onboard the employee by going to work with the employee and helping them learn their job expectations.

When both the employer and the employee feel comfortable with the progress that the employee has made, they will step back and be available for further assistance if needed. This helps make the transition to the workplace a little easier for all parties involved. They also have a client handbook that talks about de-escalation planning (if needed) and more information can

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