How to Make the Most of the 20's in Your 20's In the wise words of Justin Bieber, “you should go and love yourself” by JENNY DESTEFANO
graphics by RUTH SHIFERAW
Whenever I get daydreamy in my gen-eds, I often think about myself as an adult (because I refuse to call myself one until I’m 30-- ew). But while I’m picturing a wedding dress fit for Blair Waldorf or brainstorming the least cheugy baby names, I remember what my mom always says: stay single in your 20’s. Through ~situationships~ and Tinder validation, it becomes easier and easier to carry that very piece of advice in my back pocket at all times. Staying single in your 20’s doesn’t mean being lonely (or like, SINGLE for that matter)-- it just means that the only committed relationship you’re in is with yourself. Take it from me, a (pathetically) hopeless romantic: Being your own *wifey* is actually incredibly freeing. Once you surrender the HOLD that your dream meet-cute has on you and take life one second at a time, you’re no longer always searching for something to make your life complete-- it can just be complete. So, how exactly do we go about making the most of this time? Romanticize Everything: The Good, The Bad, and the *Really* Ugly You might think that ~romanticizing~ your life just means staying positive, but really, it’s so much more than that. Think of romanticism in the context of one of my favorite quotes-“See life through rose-colored glasses.” The world looks bubbly and welcoming when it’s pink, but ultimately, you can always take the glasses off when it’s time to make hard and fast decisions. As long as you’re not harming your own well-being or going colorblind when it comes to red flags, romanticizing everything *really* just means that we should embrace the difficult times because it’s all part of our inner growth-the bathtub cries, the little accomplishments, and even the random frat makeouts. (Sometimes a mono scare is feminist and not like, dangerous to my organ health.)
Be Sporadic With Psychoanalysis When you’re navigating new relationships, new opportunities, and new cities, it’s a little too easy to overanalyze *everything.* It’s understandable-- I mean, is change ever not terrifying? Still, when you get into overanalysis, all you’re doing is inviting more unnecessary stress into your brain. The important thing to remember is that not everything means something. Say, for instance, your *person* Snap-texts you asking to hang out for the first time-- right before you were about to knock out for the night. (First of all, if that’s enough to sweep you off your feet, the bar is on the FLOOR, babe. At least iMessage.) You’re allowed to think and feel all your feelings-- just beware of their attachments (and maybe leave that Snap on read for a while).
Learn How to Say ‘No’ to Things Seriously, it’s so important to be assertive with what you want and don’t want. As someone who has difficulty with confrontation (because apparently my brain can’t handle having someone not like me), I’ve learned that saying ‘no’ ≠ being rude. You don’t need to unleash your inner Karen (sorry mom <3) to be straight up with people when things are not okay. I promise, people will appreciate your honesty because they’ll know you authentically, not as someone who joins brunch plans just because she’s afraid of coming off as a b*tch. Let Yourself Feel Uncomfortable Hear me out on this one: though side effects can include full-body cringing and emotional panic, going out of your comfort zone is a crucial life skill to hone. Trying new things is somehow always a recipe for anxiety, but (as cliché as it sounds), you never know what opportunities could lie ahead if you let yourself feel *uncomfy* for a sec. Personally, this is how I’ve gotten through college so far- the more ~extrovert~ situations that I put my ~introvert~ self into, the more thankful I am that I put myself out there. (Keep in mind that this def does NOT apply to situations that are inherently uncomfortable and/or dangerous-- in those cases, feel free to dip, queen. #SafetyFirst <3) Put Yourself First Your adult life is exactly that-- YOURS. That’s why it is imperative (yes, so serious that I pulled out an SAT word) to stay true to yourself at the end of the day. Of course, we still need to give our friends and family the same care and energy they give us and listen to relationship advice (if it’s constructive), but ultimately, you have to do you. If that means piercing your belly button or moving cross-country for the job of your dreams, then f*cking do it. The only person who can make you truly, genuinely, and purely happy is you-- so why not pursue you? If there was ever a time to say ‘YOLO,’ it would be now. Why wait? UGIRL 43
