The University Times - Vol. 1, Issue 5

The University Times www.universitytimes.ie

January 20th, 2010

Mrs Robinson

On the Fringe

The Irish Way

Rónán Burtenshaw examines the current scandal surrounding Iris Robinson. Features p6

Emma Keaveney reviews the Trinity Fringe Festival.

Cónán Ó Broin lists the top tens reasons why the country is in its current state.

Opinion p12

Arts & Culture p16

Library enacts service cutbacks to cope with staff shortage

Student centre suffers planning set back Dublin City councillors raise objections with redevelopment of Pearse Street property

Reductions caused by public sector hiring moratorium

Leanna Byrne News Writer

Marykate Collins Deputy Editor Library service reductions have been announced which will see a cut in a number of core library services. In an email from the Deputy Librarian, Jessie Kurtz, to all academic staff, postgraduate and undergraduate students, seven reductions in service were enumerated.

Cuts in Counter Services, that is the check-in and out of books will be cut so it will now stop at 18:00 on Fridays and the email also notes that there may be more cuts to Counter Services as it may be effected by staff absence.

Stacks and Santry orders will be reduced to a twenty-four hour service which means books ordered online will be available for collection after twentyfour hours. This is a change from a delivery every ninety minutes for stacks and two deliveries daily for Santry orders.

The Students’ Union Education Officer said that the library is in a ‘very difficult position with the public sector hiring moratorium.’ He went on to say that ‘the Students’ Union are working very closely with the library to minimize disruption to core library services and the campaign to improve library services is ongoing and if there is any change in moratorium we expect this decision to be reversed.’

This announcement follows a student protest in the library organized by the Students’ Union in November directed at ‘cuts made to library services.’ The Students’ Union made a number of demands to the College in a letter for the Provost.

The letter demanded that the library open on Sundays and that ‘Sunday opening hours become a core service offered by the library and regularise it as a standard year-long service.’ The letter went on to insist that the ‘library bring its opening hours and service hours in line with the national average to be agreed between the Students’ Union and the library.’

The Trinity library is the second Continued page 2

Front Square during the recent snowfall that ground the country to a halt. Most of the square had to be closed off due to ice on the cobbles.

Photo: David O’Dwyer

‘Big Freeze’ causes disruption to the college Schol students disrupted as exams postponed due to heavy snowfall Carl Doherty News Writer Schol exams were postponed on January 11 due to the ‘deteriorating weather conditions and the expected snowfall.’

The Senior Lecturer, Dr Aileen Douglas, sent an email to all undergraduates on January 10 informing students of the postponement.

The snow covered the whole college and barriers were erected in Parliament (Front) Square for safety.

Members of the college and visitors were directed to the perimeter or centre of the square on alternate days in order to allow the compacted ice to become less slippery.

People were also asked for the first time in recent history to ‘keep on the grass’ so as to avoid slipping on the icy cobbles. The front gate was also closed for the weekend to minimise the number

of visitors in college.

The snow not only affected Trinity students thousands of primary and secondary level students were told to stay at home when most schools closed for health and safety reasons because of the snow and icy conditions.

The Department of Education said it was up to boards of management to decide whether local conditions warranted the closure of a school.

The city’s transport infrastructure was also massively disrupted by the bad weather. Some roads were impassable and Dublin Bus cancelled some services while most others were disrupted becuase of the icy road conditions.

There was a shortage of salt for gritting the roads. Retired former National Roads Authority regional engineer Michael Cahill said what most people understand to mean gritting is often the salting of roads.

‘The purpose of putting the grit out on the road is to give you some purchase’ he said. This is different to salt which operates by melting the snow and by lowering the temperature at which water freezes. Salt water starts to freeze at about -2 degrees.

Most of the paths in college were gritted by grounds staff as a safety precaution.

Fianna Fáil TD Chris Andrews said city centre traders had experienced poor sales during the bad weather, he said ‘retailers in Dublin city centre were hit exceptionally hard by the recent spate of bad weather which deterred people from shopping and socialising.’

He was speaking about the reintroduction of the bus gate on January 18 which was closed for two months over Christmas.

‘The rush to reinstate the bus lane is unnecessary and short-sighted. I would

ask that the council delay this move, and give businesses an opportunity to recoup some of the lost revenue of the past two weeks,’ said Andrews The effectiveness of the bus gate will be reviewed by the council next May. Water supply was also affected by the cold weather. Many parts of the country being without water due to frozen water mains bursting. Trinity has not been hit by the water shortage yet but many say that the warming weather could still cause problems when pipes begin to thaw.

The snow was a seasonal distraction for some students as snowmen began to appear around college.Snow ball fights were also a common sight with a large one taking place in College Park between those studying for Schol exams in the library when they found out their exam was postponed they quickly went outside to have fun.

Some Dublin City councillors have recommended that planners refuse permission to Trinity College Dublin for its proposed new student centre. Councillors on the south east area committee are not happy with the College’s application for a 4,400sqm student facility in Luce Hall.

Dublin City Council has asked for more information from the College before it decides on a planning application for a new Student Centre in college.

In a letter to the College’s architects, O’Donnell and Tuomey, from the Dublin City Council in response to the planning application the Council asks for a number of clarifications relating to draining and flood plans.

The application asks for permission to redevelop Luce Hall and 183 Pearse St in order to provide for a circa 4,400sqm student facility. According to the documents submitted to the Council the new student centre would include society rooms, a library, student bar, and gig venue.

The heritage body, An Taisce, welcomed Trinity’s proposal saying that it was an ‘important one on account of the prominence of the site within Trinity College and the city generally.’

It pointed the city’s planning regulations and noted that their ‘objective is to create a dynamic, mixed use, visually attractive, world-class city...’

The College did have its last application turned down by planners. The application was for permission to turn the building it owns on Foster Place into Dublin’s largest bar and restaurant.

This application was turned down after a number of objections from bar owners and heritage groups including An Taisce.

However, the latest application did not receive any objections from residents despite the councillors’ opposition.

Luce Hall was built in 1979 and was used as a sports centre until the completion of the new gym and sports building.

It now remains largely empty except for Continued page 2

Budget 2010 sees education cuts, but no rise in student service change Students receiving back-to-education allowance no longer eligible for grants Simone Hall News Writer

Minister for Finance Brian Lenihan on the day of the budget

There was no rise in the student service charge in the budget this year. In last month’s budget the Minister for Finance left the student service charge (registration fee) unchanged at €1,500.

The Irish Independent reported that a confidential government document which it had seen showed the government recently considered hiking the charge by as much as €1,000. An increase by this much would raise an extra €54m.

The 2009 budget allowed the registration fee to be increased from €900 to €1,500 in colleges for the 2009/2010 academic year.

The government sets a maximum registration fee and after consulting the Higher Education Authority (HEA) each college sets its own fee.

The student service charge has been

had some attention in the last couple of months the Joint Education and Science committee heard that only a third of Trinity’s student service charge for 2008/09 academic year was spent on student services. The accounts produced by Trinity College were sent to the chairman of the education committee and Green party TD Paul Gogarty.

The student service charge is supposed to be ring fenced for student services, exams, and registration.

In a letter to Gogarty explaining Trinity SU’s argument on the student service charge Cónán Ó Broin, Students’ Union President, says that the Minister for Education is on record saying that the student service charge is ‘solely for the provision of student services.’

The student service charge was introduced in 1996 when the Government started to pay tuition fees. A charge of £150 was paid by students for services, registration, and examinations.

The Department for Education circular on the student service charge says that examination and registration fees have always been regarded as a separate issue. ‘Second level students pay an examination fee for sitting the Junior and Leaving Certificate examination,’ the circular says.

The estimates for 2009 say that the College collected €8,283,371 from student service charge. The estimates also indicate that the College budgeted €1,351,000 for examinations and

Editor: Robert Donohoe Deputy Editor: Marykate Collins Volume 1, Issue 5 ISSN: 2009-261X Phone: 01 646 8431 Email: info@universitytimes.ie Website: www.universitytimes.ie

€1,435,425 on the costs of registration for 2009.

The budget also made changes for those start college next year and who qualify for the back-to-education allowance. Those who are entitled to receive the allowance will no longer be eligible for a grant.

Previously, those who received a back-to-education allowance were also allowed claim a grant and apply for the top-up grant.

Trinity College Students’ Union’s

This newspaper is produced with the financial support of Trinity College Students’ Union. It is set in 9pt Utopia and Whitney – a classic newspaper typeface and a modernist sans serif respectively.

It was printed by Mortons Print Ltd.

Mature Student Officer, Simone Cameron-Coen said the government ‘wants to encourage people off social welfare and back to education and training, by pulling much needed funding from the poorest part of society they are actively discouraging a return to education.’

The amount of the grants and scholarships were reduced by five per cent.

It will apply to all incoming and current students from January 2010. These measures will achieve a €10m saving for the state.

To contact The University Times write to: The Editor, The University Times, 6 Trinity College Dublin 2

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Wednesday, January 20th | The University Times

TimesNews

“A free and independently audited press makes for a happy and fair community”

www.universitytimes.ie Upcoming events Wednesday 20th JANUARY

Volunteers Meeting

Trinity Arts Festival 1pm, Room 4050B, Arts Block

How to Make a Blockbuster Movie Poster DU Players 3pm, Computer Room 1, Áras an Phiarsaigh

Tom Low, Opinion p10

VOX POPULAI

“What do you think about the annual Students’ Union sabbatical officer elections?”

Breast Cancer Talk Dupsa and Cancer Soc 7pm, Joly Theatre

An Audience with Alex Ferguson The Phil 7pm, GMB

Bess Welcome Back Party Dubes 10pm, Spy

Thursday 21st January

Pub Quiz

Trinity Social and Political Review 7pm, Doyles

The Kingsmill Moore Memorial Debating Competition Grand Final The Phil 7.30pm, GMB

John Cooney

JS Mechanical Engineering My degree comes before politics and I didn’t agree with how one of the races last year was littered with personal attacks.

Annelise Berghanti

Alison Murphy

Hans Eckhardt

Claire Dunne

Declan Gibbons

Darragh Haugh

Dave Mackey

Linda Coughlan

Naoise Colhoum

Fionnuala Horrocks-Burns

SF English I think everyone should vote, not just say they will.

SS Biochemistry It doesn’t register with me. Never really paid attention to it.

JS Medicinal Chemistry I was really involved in 1st year. It seems like a lot of guys bickering over nothing.

SS Theology It’s important to have them. They’re necessary for the students.

JS Civil Engineering Other than the weekly SU email and ents facebook invites I have no contact with the SU.

Refresher Reception LGBT 8pm, GSU Common Room

The Candidates

Jazz Soc 9pm, The George Bernard Shaw

Breakbot w/ Hubie Davison Trinity Ents 10pm, Muzik

FRIday 22ND January

Haiti Earthquake Fundraiser Trinity Ents 10.30pm, Basebar

Monday 25th January

Stand Up Classes DU Comedy 6pm, Arts Block

Roisin Nic Fhearghusa

SF Irish Studies It’s a really good way for the students to voice their opinions.

The campaigning is also a bit of craic.

SF Law I think this year has several very strong candidates, yet some races have a foregone conclusion.

JS Botany I think it’s great pageantry. I enjoy it.

SS Nursing This year is going to be interesting. I’m excited to see how it goes.

SS French & Spanish I don’t know anyone running so I don’t have any interest this year.

SF History There’s always too many flyers. It will be exciting . I helped in a campaign last year and really enjoyed it though.

SU Election Candidate Announcement TCDSU 6pm, House 6

Battle of the Beatles DU Players 8pm, Players’ Theatre

Thursday 28th January

Two Euro Comedy Gig DU Comedy 8pm, The Pav

WEDNESDAY 3rd February

Pappy’s and WitTank DU Comedy 8.30pm, Players’ Theatre

Thursday 4th February

Rag Ball 2010 Trinity Ents 10pm, Tripod

FRIDAY 5th February

Science Ball 2010

Fearghal Hughes 7.30pm, Clontarf Castle Hotel

MonDAY 8th February

FROM THE FRONT PAGE

Planning application filed by College reveals proposed contents on new student centre

Eleven full-time Library posts unfilled

Continuted from page 1

Continuted from page 1

a bioresearch unit and the Botany Dept. The proposal is to leave the Botany Dept where it is and to move the bioresearch unit.

According to the plans the ground floor of the development will comprise of an internet cafe, bank, shop, and flexible social space.

The bar will also be on the ground floor and will allow access to the gig venue that will be located on the first floor.

The second floor will

contain more social space, Students’ Union offices. On the third floor there are plans to include student services like a GP and careers office.

The Students’ Union President, Cónán Ó Broin, said that he was disappointed that the councillors decided to oppose the plans. He said that he ‘hope the planners will listen to An Taisce and realise that this centre will be great for the college and for the city.’

The gig venue and bar would mean the return of a second bar in college since

the Buttery was shut down as a bar and venue under the tenure of Barry Murphy as Ents Officer in 2006/07.

The new gig venue will contain state-of-the-art sound and lighting equipment and will have a capacity of about 800. There will be a smoking area and a frontage onto Pearse St to allow patrons in and out after college closes.

The University Times has learned that all options are being explored but it is also thought that the best option would be for a full bar licence

rather than a private members licence. This would avoid the requirement seen at other colleges’ bars where students need to sign in guests before they can enter.

The Ents Officer, Mick Birmingham, said that ‘the bar and venue will be a great place to put on local and international acts as well as somewhere to showcase the very best of Trinity talent.’ ‘It will also mean that the students will benefit from using their own facility instead of renting one out’ said Birmingham.

worst in the country in terms of opening hours totalling seventy one point five hours, while the national average is eighty hours per week. UCD’s library opens for 100 hours per week and is at the top of the opening hours chart.

The College has said that the service reductions in the library are as a result of the recruitment moratorium which has ‘resulted in the non-filling of eleven fulltime permanent posts.’ The

recruitment moratorium was introduced by the Minister for Finance on March 27, 2009 and affects all the public sector.

The moratorium stipulates that no public service post may be filled, regardless of how it arose, by hiring.

This is subject to an employment control framework which allows third level institutions an exception where it is ‘necessary in the case of academic and support posts that are considered essential to maintaining core service activities.’

Andrew Maxwell

DU Comedy 8pm, Ed Burke

WEDNESDAY 10th February

Law Ball

Law Soc 7pm, Shelbourne Hotel

FRIDAY 12th FEBRUARY

Bess Ball

Dubes 7.30pm, Burlington Hotel

Have your event featured

Every issue The University Times features upcoming student events for the coming three weeks in this coloumn. If you would like to have your event featured here email deatils of it to events@universitytimes.ie Please provide us with the time, date, location and host of the event. All efforts are made to ensure that this events diary is correct at time of publishing. However all event details are subject to change and we suggest you contact the sociecty in question to confrim the event details.

Information Editor Deputy Editor News Features Life Features Opinion High Culture Books Fashion Popular Culture Film Music Television Science & Technology Sports Layout Photographs Illustrations Website All editors can be contacted at firstname.surname@universitytimes.ie

Robert Donohoe Marykate Collins Catherine Alice Nicholas Kate Ferugson Niall Donnelly Lily Power Bobby Nolan Katherine Reidy Emma Keaveney Eoin Rafferty Conor Sneyd Michelle Doyle Enda Shevlin Fionn Cafferty Conor Smith David O’Dwyer Sinead Mercier Conor Smith

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If you have any general questions about working with the paper please email the editor at editor@universitytimes.ie

3

The University Times | Wednesday, January 20th

TimesNews

Students amend Union constitution at special meeting of Students’ Union council Marykate Collins Deputy Editor A special meeting of the Students’ Union council met on January 8 to amend their Constitution. There were ten items on the special agenda for consideration by the members.

Under the terms of the new constitution a special meeting of the council could be held with the view to correcting some of the small

problems and typos that remained in the constitution when it was passed last year.

The first amendment removed an anomaly in the wording of the Constitution that allowed sabbatical officers of the Union the right not to give up the powers they had under the previous constitution. This amendment was passed unanimously.

Some of the other amendments were addressed to tidying up the routine errors in

the document. Amendment four removed a mistake in the Constitution that allowed two employees of the Union votes at Council even though they were not necessarily students.

The Administrative Officer is responsible for the managing the office of the Students’ Union. The Technical Officer looks after the website and the technical requirements of the Union. They do not participate in the political

element. Council voted in the motion removing their votes, but keeping their rights to attend and speak at meetings of council.

Council voted down a motion that would have changed the word ‘roll’ in section 3.5.6 ‘role’. The section pertains to the work of the Communications Officer. The motion noted that the ‘section is meant to outline his job, not his lunch.’

Schedule ten of the

Students’ Union Constitution allowed a special meeting to amend the Constitution. The Schedule provided that only changes that did not change the spirit of the Constitution could be accepted.

Schedule ten could not be amended and after it was used it was to be deleted from the Constitution.

The new constitution was passed by the students in referendum on April 16 last year. The new constitution

replaced the previous one which had been in use for two years.

It was drawn up by last year’s Education Officer, Hugh Sullivan under the direction of a constitutional review committee.

The Constitution brought in a new body in the Union, the Oversight Commission whose job is to check that union officers are complying with mandate and constitutional requirements.

United manager Alex Ferguson visits the Phil Gavin Moran Sports Writer

The 24 hour study space over the Christmas break. Due to a lack of desk space some students took to studying on the floor.

Photo: Conor Smith

Unexpected closures of 24 hour study space leave students in the cold Ailbhe Brazel News Writer The twenty four hour study space closed for two weeks without prior notice over the Christmas break.

This was due to a problem with the swipe card access which was incorrectly granting access to those without the necessary TCD student card.

The twenty four hour study space, located on the first floor of the Ussher library and accessible through the twenty four hour computer rooms, opened on the November 16 after a long campaign by the Trinity Students’ Union.

The library staff felt that the security risk of admission of non-Trinity students was too great and they decided

to shut the twenty four hour study space completely. It is yet unknown why the swipecard reader took a two weeks to repair.

The twenty four hour study space has no access to the Ussher toilets as these are deemed another ‘security hazard’. A lack of security staff means the potential for vandalism is considered too high and students must to walk to the Hamilton to use the toilets.

The space itself, supposed to cater after hours for all undergraduates however, the library says that there is room for 100 people to study in the new space which is funded out of the library’s budget.

There is no access to to any library books.

The study space was over capacity a for a number of

times over the Christmas break with students sitting on the floor and queueing outside the door to try and get access to after hours study.

Postgraduate students have twenty four hour access to the 1937 Reading Room which is in front of he new Long Room Hub building.

Although there are many problems are associated with the current running of the twenty four hour study space, it is still ‘a step in the right direction’ according to Ashley Cooke, Education Officer. ‘It is definitely used and definitely needed. For the moment it is fixed and functioning. We know this isn’t the end of the study space issue and we’ll keep campaigning for better services… Who knows, we might even get a port-a-loo in there some day!’

Alex Ferguson, Manchester United manager will be attending the College Philosophical Society (Phil) on January 20 to be interviewed for Trinity students. Students wishing to see Alex Ferguson should visit the Phil’s website and apply for tickets.

Tickets will be selected randomly by the Phil and successful applicants will be notified. All those wishing to apply are advised that you must all ready be a member of the Phil when applying otherwise your application will not be accepted.

Alex Ferguson is the most successful manager in British football history – winning more than 30 trophies during his time in charge of the Reds.

Born on New Year’s Eve 1941 it was as a player that Ferguson began his long and storied career in football.

His tenure as a player saw him represent many sides in his native Scotland including Dunfermline Athletic, Falkirk and most notably his boyhood heroes Glasgow Rangers.

Retiring at the age of 32, it was East Stirlingshire that introduced Ferguson to management in 1974. The club’s fortunes improved immediately and bigger clubs began to take note and following a four year spell in charge of St. Mirren, Aberdeen came calling.

Only two years were needed for Ferguson to break the Celtic/Rangers monopoly on the Scottish Premier League title as ‘The Dons’ were crowned champions in 1980.

Two more league wins, five SFA Cups, one League Cup, one European Super Cup and one European Cup Winners’ Cup were to follow in the next six years with the

Trinity College says that it has no records of how the commencement fee was calculated. In response to a Freedom of Information request submitted by The University Times asking the College to provide ‘records relating to the calculation of the commencement fee’ the College said that it was unable to provide these records because ‘such records do not

exist.’

The commencement fee is charged to candidate graduates who having satisfactorily completed their course of study and wish to proceed with conferral. The fee is currently €114 which the College says is used for the ‘production of the degree parchments, the upkeep of the University’s register of alumni, and the organization and running of the commencement ceremony itself.’

The College have said

that they do not include the charge for conferral in the course fee or student service charge as it has the advantage that ‘students who do not graduate in the end do not have to contribute to the costs of graduation.’

The commencement fee was introduced in the 1989/90 academic year. The Vice-Provost’s office said that ‘administration records held by the Student Records/Proctors’ Offices do not go back that far.’

Such records do not exist.

The college’s response to a freedom of information request regarding how the commencement fee is calculated

Trinity Senator calls for research into rape case acquittals Senator Ivana Bacik, of Trinity’s Law Department, has called for further research into the impact of acquittals in rape cases. The research was carried out with the support of the DPP’s office and the Civil Legal Aid Board.

They examined 40 of the 59 rape cases tried in the Central Criminal Court between 2003 and 2009. Research showed that in over 47 percent of cases the accused was acquitted. Just under one third of cases were successfully convicted, with the remainder either awaiting trial or concluding nolle prosequi.

In 70 percent of the cases the judge allowed the defence to question the victim’s previous sexual history – under what’s known as a Section 3 application. Ms Bacik said the research showed judges were inclined to allow this –often prejudicial – evidence be heard on the grounds of a woman’s alleged promiscuity in many cases.

The Director of Public Prosecutions, James Hamilton, said the findings were interesting and demanded further study before any changes to the law would be considered.

The Dublin Rape Crisis Centre held its conference last week to mark its 30th anniversary. The centre says while a lot has been done to support victims of rape, many still fear the criminal justice system. Criminologist Paul O’Mahony of Trinity told the conference that fewer than one in forty cases of rape end up being appropriately punished.

Marykate Collins, Deputy Editor

DU Publications set to update their constitution

latter being secured with an unprecedented 2-1 win over the mighty Real Madrid in the final.

Bigger and better things were to come though, when on 6 November 1986 ‘Fergie’ was appointed manager of Manchester United, historically one of the most successful clubs in Britain but a sleeping giant for almost 20 years.

After inheriting a squad possessing problems both on and off the field Sir Alex set about restructuring the club from top to bottom, taking five years to register his first success with Manchester United the 1990 FA Cup. Still though that English league title eluded United and their manager. It took a fateful call from Howard Wilkinson, then Leeds United manager (The champions at the time) enquiring about the availability of Denis

Irwin to turn the tide.

The signing of Eric Cantona the outrageously talented but often eccentric French forward was secured that day and the course of history would change forever.

A league title win that year (1993) would be closely followed by a league and FA Cup double in 1994 and another double in 1996.

It is perhaps most likely however that the achievement he will be most remembered by was the legendary ‘Treble’ win of League, FA Cup and European Cup in 1999.

11 league titles, 4 FA Cups, 3 League Cups, 2 European Cups, 2 Club World Cups and 10 other major trophies have been secured in Sir Alex’s 23 year reign to date and yet he still retains his passion and desire to attempt to achieve even greater success season after season.

College has no records of how the commencement fee is calculated Robert Donohoe Editor

News in brief

In the response to The University Times’ request, the College explained that the commencement fee is increased annually in line with the increase to tuition fees as approved by the Minister for Education and Science and informed to the College by the Higher Education Authority (HEA).

The College was advised by the HEA in 2008 that the undergraduate tuition fee was increasing by two point six per cent for the 2008/09

academic year. In their letter to The University Times the College has said that there was no increase for the 2009/10 academic year.

The Students’ Union President, Cónán Ó Broin, said ‘it is completely unacceptable that the College cannot tell the students where €500,000 of students’ money goes. If this situation remains like this the Students’ Union will take legal advice.’

The Publications Committee is in the process of updating their constitution. The first draft is now on display outside their office in House 6.

The reasons for the update seem to be a feeling that too much power was being given to the Executive Pubs Committee.

The Executive Committee includes the Chair, Treasurer, Secretary, Alumni, Publicity Officer and the Amenities Officer. The editors of the five publications (Trinity Film Review, Miscellany, Icarus, Trinity News and Piranha) also have voting rights.

The Chair, Luke Maishman stated that “it is well overdue.” Members of the Pubs Committee for the past few years feel that the constitution needs to be changed, yet it is a huge undertaking, and according to Maishman, could take up to a year.

He is however positive about the change and thinks it will be “very good for Trinity Publications.” The second draft is expected to be released shortly.

Marykate Collins, Deputy Editor

Two CSC officers resign from the executive Two ordinary members of the Central Societies Committee executive resigned over the Christmas period. Caroline Keating, a Junior Sophister Occupation Therapy student, and Barra Roantree, Junior Sophister Economics.

The executive positions have been temporarily filled by James Mullen of Scifi and Stephen Purcell of Duccs.

These resignations follow on from two others over the summer when then-Secretary Eoin Dornan and then Amenities Officer Stephen O’Connell handed in their resignations.

The CSC Term General Meeting will take place next week, on the 26th, where the positions are expected to be put up for election.

Simone Hall, News Writer

Dussc’s annual ski trip a success Over 300 Trinity students hit the slopes in Val Thorens, France, over the Christmas break. Dublin University Ski and Snowboarding Club (DUSSC) departed from Trinity on the 8th of January last to spend ten days in the popular Alpine ski resort. The annual event has been heralded a great success, with many students declaring it to be ‘the best week of my life’. Despite having to travel by bus for thirtysix hours to reach their destination, students were more than ready to make the most of their week and certainly did so, if reports are to be believed.

Simone Hall, News Writer

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Wednesday, January 20th | The University Times

TimesNews

“His nervous awkward onstage persona worked well with content about losing his virginity.”

Emma Keaveney p14

www.universitytimes.ie

Nominations for Students’ Union sabbatical officer elections open Conor Smith Senior Writer Nominations for this year’s Students’ Union sabbatical officer elections opened yesterday and will close this Sunday, January 24.

Already rumours are flying as to who will be campaigning next month. Though in most years all five officerships are hotly contested, this year looks set to potentially have three uncontested elections with only one candidate suspected to run for Communications Officer, Education Officer and Welfare Officer.

In the race for President two students have made their intentions of running clear for many months now: Fearghal Hughes (SS Environmental Science) and Nikolai Trigoub-Rotnem (JS Engineering with Management).

Both students have been involved in the Students’ Union, as well as a number of clubs and societies, since their arrival in Trinity. Hughes is currently the Faculty Convenor for Engineering, Mathematics and Science and has been campaign manager for two previous presidential candidates (last year’s President, Cathal Reilly, and Cathal Horan, who lost out to current President Cónán Ó Broin). TrigoubRotnem is currently the Union’s Assistant Campaigns Officer and before coming to college was President of the

Irish Second-Level Students’ Union.

Other names in the race for President have also been dropped: Declan Harmon (JS BESS), Mark Moore (SS PCAM) and Barra Roantree (JS BESS). While being a Union outsider, Harmon is an active member of Ógra Fianna Fáil and helped campaign for a Yes vote in the recent Lisbon Treaty referendum. Moore, another Union outsider, was President of JCR Halls last year. It has also been heard that Moore may run for Ents Officer, rather than President. Roantree is currently the Union’s Environmental and Ethical Trading Officer and is a prominent member of the Young Greens.

Currently it is looking like the ballot papers for Communications Officer will feature just one name: JS BESS student Tom Lowe. Lowe is currently the Treasurer of DU Publications as well as the website editor for Trinity News.

Other names have been thrown around for this position, including SS TSM student Caitriona Joyce (currently the Faculty Convenor for Arts, Humanities and Social Sciences) and JS Law student Ronan Costello (current PRO of Law Soc and former deputy editor of the University Record). At this stage however it looks like Lowe may be the only candidate by the closing of nominations.

For the second year in a row, the position of Education Officer could also be uncontested. SS Genetics student Jennifer Fox looks to be the only person interested in taking over from current officer Ashley Cooke. Fox is currently a member of college’s Undergraduate Studies Committee as well as the class rep for SS Genetics.

This year’s race for Welfare looks set to have only one candidate as well: current Welfare Officer Cormac Cashman. This is the first time a sitting sabbatical officer has run for election again since 2003 when then Welfare Officer Annie Gatling ran for and won the position of President.

A number of other students had been mentioned as running for the position over the last few months, including Ann-Maria McCarthy (JS English), Margaret Donnelly (SS Pharmacy) and Stephanie Fleming (SS Physiotherapy). However, since Cashman let his intentions be known nobody has really stepped up to challenge him.

The election for Ents Officer this year may be a two horse race, featuring nightclub promoters Darragh Genockey (JS BESS) and Keith Florea (JS BESS). Genockey is currently the head of the Ents Crew and involved in Trinity Cancer Soc. He also promotes Blasphemy in Spy and is a member of the well-known ‘EdCorp’

conglomerate of nightclub promoters. Florea was a member of last year’s Ents Crew under Nick Longworth.

He also promotes Noize in Andrews Lane Theatre.

Another possible Ents candidate is Justin Tallon (SS Engineering), who runs Heat at Tripod and is another wellknown member of EdCorp.

Like most other years, this year looks set to feature a number of ‘joke’ candidates.

SF History and Politcal Science student Daniel Reilly looks set to run for President, representing the ‘Trinity Intellectual Traditionalist Society’. However, the presence of a Facebook group for the past several months announcing his candidacy may hinder his ability to get on the ballot.

SS TSM student Dave Preston, who last year ran for President as a joke candidate, looks set to return this year in the Education race against Fox. SF Engineering student Conor ‘Timmy’ O’Toole is also thought to be running as

Two of the prospective candidates for SU President are Nikolai Trigoub-Rotnem (left) and Fearghal Hughes (right). a joke candidate. The Comedy Soc committee member currently looks to have his eyes set on the Ents office.

This year also looks like it may be the first since 2006 that current Communications Officer Rob Donohoe will not be running for any

position. Having run for Ents Officer in 2007 as a joke candidate and President in 2008 as a more serious candidate, Donohoe won last year’s election for Deputy President/Communications Officer. Donohoe declined to comment on why he would

not be running this year, even though there are two Union officerships he has yet to try for.

Since the nominations do not close until this Sunday, there is still time for other candidates to emerge from the woodwork. Campaigning

for this year’s elections will start on Monday, February 8, with polling taking place from Tuesday, February 16 until Thursday, February 18. The winners will be announced on the night of the 18th as the votes are being counted.

This year’s prospective candidates President Declan Harmon Fearghal Hughes Mark Moore Daniel Reilly Barra Roantree Nikolai Trigoub-Rotnem

Communications Officer Ronan Costello Caitriona Joyce Tom Lowe

Education Officer Jennifer Fox Dave Preston

Welfare Officer Cormac Cashman Margaret Donnelly Stephanie Fleming Ann-Maria McCarthy

Ents Officer Keith Florea Darragh Genockey Mark Moore Conor O’Toole Justin Tallon

Craigslist founder set to address Dublin Web Summit Katie Haberlin News Writer WEB entrepreneur, and founder of Craigslist, Craig Newmark, will be speaking in Trinity on Thursday, February 4, 2010.

Craigslist (www.craigslist. org) is the world’s largest classified website, featuring free online advertisements, with sections devoted to jobs, housing, personals, for sale, services, community, gigs, résumés, and discussion forums. It has become the seventh most popular website in the world, in terms of English language page views.

It was founded in 1995 by Newmark, a software engineer, who started it out as

an email list for friends and co-workers featuring local events in the San Francisco Bay area. Since 1995 the website has expanded exponentially and attracts 47 million visitors per month – more web traffic than eBay or Amazon.

The website employs only thirty people, who work out of offices in San Francisco, and had an estimated turnover of $100 million in 2009.

Craigslist has no fees for advertising, its sole revenue coming from job postings in San Francisco, New York, and Los Angeles and paid broker apartment listings in New York City. Web auctioneering company eBay owns a 25% share of Craigslist. Jim

Buckmaster is now the CEO of Craigslist, although Newmark remains involved in customer services.

Craigslist became a forprofit organization in 1999, although the company advocates a non-commercial, non-corporate culture, continuing to use an “org” domain. Newmark has also been known to put the success of Craigslist down to a sense of community trust.

Craigslist’s discussion forum is also widely used with more than 100 topical forums with over 120 million user postings. Craigslist is also available in French, German, Italian, Portuguese, and Spanish.

Newmark will be a keynote

speaker at the Dublin Web Summit.

Also speaking at the event will be Matt Mullenweg, who founded content management system Wordpress, used by CNN, the New York Times and Yahoo. This system powers more then 202 million websites worldwide and in October 2009 attracted 151 million visitors.

Both Mullenweg and Newmark regularly speak at technology conferences, and will be using the Dublin Web Summit to relay their experience in scaling their companies.

The Dublin Web Summit will take place on February 4 in the Edmund Burke Theatre from 5:30-11:30pm.

Trinity Takes to the Streets raises €110,000 Katie Haberlin News Writer The “Trinity Takes To The Streets” (TTTTS) initiative has had a very successful 2009, raising 110,00 euro for educational access initiatives and student hardship bursaries. The money raised will now go towards the Trinity Access Programme (TAP), The National Institute for Intellectual Disabilities (NIID), and the Student Hardship Fund.

This money was raised in a number of ways, primarily through running. Fifty people, including staff, students, alumni and friends, ran the Dublin City marathon on the 25th of October and recieved sponsorship for their efforts. Participants also ran in the Trinity fun run on the 23rd of October and runners also took part in the New York Alumni Fun Run on the 24th

of October.

“Trinity Takes to the Streets” also organised a number of other events, including a table quiz and a TAP Laughs Comedy Night.

The money will be spread out among these three university initiatives promoting acccess to education for disadvantaged groups.

The TAP scheme, which was established in 1993, aims to engage greater numbers of students from underpriveliged socio-economic groups in third level education.

The National Institute for Intellectual Disabilities is an institute centring on learning for individuals with intellectual disability, disability research, and raising awareness of disability issues. It develops educational programmes focussed on the learning needs of people with intellectual disability. The

Student Hardship Fund is a college assigned fund which can assist any student in financial difficulty.

Trinity takes to the Streets celebrated the end of the year with an event “ Pies in the Pav”, where prizes were presented to participants who completed the marathon in the fastest and slowest time and also a special to Eda Sagarra for the greatest number of sponsors.

Representatives from the three initiatives were also present, Myra Regan ( Senior Tutor), Kathleen O’Toole from TAP and Molly O’Keefe from NIID. All three thanked the participants and gave an account of how the funds raised could help Trinity students in these challenging times.

Director of Trinity Foundation, Nick Sparrow also thanked the staff, students and alumni of Trinity: “This

collective community effort has made a huge difference – we look forward to helping the College build on this initiative as a means of harnessing people’s enthusiasm and goodwill in the future.”

The money raised by “Trinity Takes to the Streets” will now give opportunities to hundreds of Trinity students and will help them realise their educational potential.

The money will have wideranging effects right across the board.

For example the initiative says that 100 euro could help a student through a financial crisis and be the difference between a student staying in college or dropping out. On the other end of the scale, 10,000 euro will support a Trinity link with a school in inner city Dublin, including educational programmes for school children and mentoring activities.

5

The University Times | Wednesday, January 20th

TimesNews News in brief

Open Day causes lecture confusion The Trinity Open Day was held on Wednesday, December 9 last, which caused much confusion among the student body since it was the first Open Day that took place during term.

The Trinity Open Day for undergraduates is open to all second level pupils in their final year of school, parents, teachers and guidance counsellors and is held annually in December. The Arts Block and the Hamilton Building, as well as many other buildings, were used to host a series of presentations outlining the content and directions of the various courses from 9am to 3pm.

All lectures in the Arts Block and the Hamilton were cancelled which was not a cause for confusion, but in regards to tutorials the student body did not receive clear directions which lead to a low tutorial attendance. Many other students that did not have lectures in these buildings were also unsure if their lectures were going ahead as they were not informed whether their building would be used for the Open Day. Student Representative for TSM Music, Johanna Clancy, was among many who was forced to ask on campus that day whether her lectures would be continuing as usual.

“We weren’t informed that the smaller lecture rooms like House Five and Áras an Phiarsaigh would be open that day.

The student body should have been given more information about the Open Day to ensure that lectures and tutorials were not missed.”

Leanna Byrne, News Writer

Photo: David O’Dwyer

Library procrastination taken to the extreme So there we were in the library. I, along with several other people during the first few hours, declared ‘oh bugger, I forgot to bring something to read.’ How right we were. Most of the books were locked away so we really couldn’t have studied. Honestly. We had no opportunity to. Except for the few students who actually brought books in themselves. So we had to find other ways of amusing ourselves.

The first way the students found to cull the terrible boredom of being in the library for 24 hours was to play some group games they must’ve learnt at SU team building or something. They did that thing

from that ‘Queen’ video where Freddie Mercury slides gracefully over a group of leotard wearing people by having them revolve whilst he lies on top, only they replaced Freddie with class rep Caitlin Sherry.

She wasn’t near as graceful as Mr. Mercury, and probably never will be. You’ll always be in our hearts, Freddie.

Then began the nice wholesome fun; Monopoly, card games and the like. This is when we decided to take the photos. For obvious reasons we couldn’t print pictures of the depravity that followed.

After everyone got tired of Monopoly, the games took a turn for fun.

Twister, the only game with major sexual undertones (we’re looking at you, Tom) and the good card games came out. Let’s not talk about the card games though, I couldn’t afford to eat for three days.

An interesting thing happened then. Despite the fact that no one had been drinking, some of the protesters suggest we play drinking games like ‘Never Have I Ever,’ proving that despite alcohol being used as an excuse in the past, some people are just pervy.

Conor O’Toole, Staff Comediest

Students’ Union stages Berkeley library sit in Emma Keaveney Senior Writer On Saturday, November 28 at approximately 3:30pm a group of more than 50 students took the Berkeley library in College, led by the Students’ Union.

Their demands included the reversal of a €650,000 cut in the library’s book budget, an increase in the opening hours to match the national average and for the Provost to personally come to the library to speak with student representatives.

The atmosphere on site was generally calm and peaceful. At a quarter to four, bells were rung by library staff to remind studying students that the facility would close in fifteen minutes. This was met with subdued cheers on the part of the protesting students.

The only aggravation faced by the students, dressed in matching yellow t-shirts emblazoned with the phrase “We love books”, was that of some library staff; but on the whole the protest passed peacefully.

At four o’ clock the last remaining students who were not involved in the sit in filed out of the library and the library closed to students. Both security staff and library staff remained in the lobby area while the protesting students

remained inside.

At approximately a quarter to five, Assistant Junior Dean Joe O’Gorman, met with Union President Cónán Ó Broin at the entrance to the library.

He confirmed that the Junior Dean, Emma Stokes, was on her way to the site.

He stressed to Ó Broin that his first concern was safety, both of the security who were overseeing the event and of the students themselves. Ó Broin confirmed that the students were hoping that the sit in would pass peacefully.

At five o’ clock, the Junior Dean met with the protesters. She said that she thought the strike was a good idea and that she would have preferred if the students had informed her of the sit in beforehand, claiming that she would have supported it.

She also said it was not currently clear whether the Provost was anywhere in the vicinity of the college at the time, so she couldn’t comment on the possibility of his visiting with the students and discussing their demands.

Stokes stipulated that no student would be punished for taking part in the sit in.

She also arranged with Ó Broin and Welfare Officer Cormac Cashman that, for health and safety reasons, the names and student numbers of those taking part would be listed.

“You have to trust me on this one”, Stokes said at the scene.

Security interjected with concerns that late revellers from the Pav would try to join the sit in if the library doors were not locked at an appropriate time. Ó Broin gathered the students present and informed them of the Junior Dean’s request that a list of names of those present be put together.

He stressed that this list was to be used only in the case of an emergency.

He also promised that the list would not be passed into the hands of college authorities, reiterating the promise he had received from Stokes moments before that no protester would be punished.

During the sit in, Students’ Union Education Officer, Ashley Cooke spoke with The University Times about the next step in the campaign for better library facilities.

“If our demands aren’t met by the end of the occupation, the Students’ Union will intensify its campaign”, Cooke said.

Asked to specify what this further intensification would involve, Cooke mentioned that the SU had “plans for further alternative action.”

“We feel that college has not been taking this issue seriously, despite the fact that it is perhaps the number one

Some Trinity College Dublin library staff have made comments critical of the Students’ Union’s library sit in.

Commenting on the Save Trinity Library Facebook group library assistant,

Maria Kelly said that she was “insulted at the Students’ Union’s suggestion that we have had a pay increase at the expense of the book budget.”

Kelly said that the book budget has been cut consistently over the last number of years and that the library staff have not received any pay increases. She went on to

say “instead of attacking the library - who are doing their best with increasingly limited personnel and financial resources - the Students’ Union should be joining us on the picket line to protect our pay, protect jobs,” referring to the public sector strike of Tuesday, November 24.

Another staff member

Trinity College Dublin awarded four individuals with an honorary degree on Friday, December 11 last. Esteemed poet Paul Durcan and current editor of The Irish Times Geraldine Kennedy were among the four recipients of the honorary degrees.

The ceremony was held in the Public Theatre, where the Provost and the public orator presided at it. Registrar and Chancellor, Dr Mary Robinson, who has become the first female to hold this position since the establishment of Trinity College by Queen Elizabeth I, officiated at the ceremony. It was Prof. Anna Chahoud, Chair of Latin and Head of the Department of Classics, who gave the orations in Latin on each of the candidates.

The honorary degree has been traditionally awarded to exceptional individuals of integrity and outstanding achievement who have contributed greatly to general society, civil society, culture, and scholarship.

Paul Durcan has only become one of Ireland’s most inspirational poets, but he is renowned for his powerful commentary on social issues which have shaped modern Ireland’s social, cultural and political life. Geraldine Kennedy also proved to be well deserving of the honorary degree as her distinguished career has made a considerable impact on political journalism.

Michael Griffith, the Chief Executive of Fighting Blindness (1996-2008) and founding chairman of the charity in 1983, was another recipient. He has played a leading role for a number of years in the development of biochemical research in Ireland and Trinity. Lastly, Ismail Serageldin is the Director of the Library of Alexandria in Egypt was presented with the honorary award for his work in education in developing societies and his inspiring contributions as a humanist and social scientist.

Leanna Byrne, News Writer

Assistant Junior Dean Joseph O’Gorman meets with student representatives at the sit in.

Photo: David O’Dwyer issue affecting students in Trinity.”

“Our demands are not unreasonable”, he said. “We feel that the resources are available. At the same time, College have to be aware that, on our part, we will use all resources available to us to ensure adequate study facilities for our members. That is what this sit in is about.”

The Provost did not arrive at the Berkeley library during the sit in. When Ó Broin contacted his office he was informed that the Provost was away.

Library staff hit out at Union over sit in Carl Doherty Senior Writer

College confers four honorary degrees

commenting on the protest was higher library assistant executive, Derek Birney, who said “the reason the library is now closed on a Sundays is because nobody was using the place.”

He also made comments that the Students’ Union should be supporting their strike.

Meanwhile, the doors to the library were locked at 7pm to ensure that there would be no outside interference in the sit-in.

However, protesters were allowed to leave and re-enter the building whenever they

wanted to and students made use of this to smoke and to bring back hot food.

The sit in continued until 12pm on Sunday, November 29 when the protesting students finally vacated the Berkeley library together.

Letter to the Provost The following is the statement released by Trinity Students’ Union, addressed to the Provost, Dr. John Hegarty. It was displayed on a large poster board in the windows of the Berkeley library during the sit in.

Dear Provost, The situation is very simple - students need books to learn.

You boasted in the Irish Times this week about balancing Trinity’s books. We think you’ve forgotten about the books that really count.

These are our demands: 1. Reverse the €650,000 book-buying cut.

2. Increase Library opening hours to the national average instead of cutting them further.

3. Come to the library today, sit down with student representatives and hear student concerns.

Trinity researchers produce report on children in Ireland Researchers in education from Trinity College Dublin have made a significant contribution to the first major report on the lives of children in Ireland, which was launched on the December 7 last.

“Growing Up in Ireland – The Lives of 9-Year-Olds” tracked the lives of over 8,500 children and this particular report is the first in a series. At the head of the Study Team are co-directors Professor James Williams and Professor Sheila Greene. The 150 page report provides an in-depth analysis of how children are faring across a range of focal areas in their lives including their health, education, social, emotional and behavioural status.

According to the “Growing Up in Ireland” report there is an estimated 40 percent of Irish nine year olds that have been subjected to bullying. TCD and ERSI researchers also uncovered that only 24 percent of parents had any knowledge that their children were being bullied. Either parents don’t know about the problem or they define bullying differently to their children.

The report also claimed that regardless of sociodemographic factors, all children are at risk of having to endure bullying. However, these factors play a vital role in academic performance, as measured by the standard reading and mathematics tests, as can be seen with those from the higher classes, higher income, and higher educated groups achieving higher scores on the tests.

Speaking at the conference, Professor James Williams asserted that “Growing Up in Ireland” would continue to give comprehensive reports on children and childhood in Ireland. “By providing this evidence-base of research and insights into children and childhood, the Study will inform and contribute to the setting of responsive policies and the design of services for children and their families.”

Leanna Byrne, News Writer

6

Wednesday, January 20th | The University Times

TimesFeatures

Here’s to you Mrs Robinson Recent revelations about her personal and financial dealings have brought an end to the political career of one of Northern Ireland’s strongest but most controversial figures, writes Rónán Burtenshaw.

I

ris Robinson, former MLA and MP, rarely avoided controversy during a colourful political career. Her staunch Unionism and religious views frequently caused ire in the nationalist community.

A born again Christian she received an angry response during June 2008 when she made a number of comments about homosexuality. In a series of statements, each more unrepenting than the last, Mrs Robinson stated that homosexuality was an “abomination” and “vile”, and offered to help “turn around” gay men and women. These comments were met with demands for sanctions from a wide range of organisations, including the British Labour Party and Amnesty International and she was consequently voted ‘UK Bigot of the Year’ by gay rights group Stonewall in 2008.

Further damage was caused to the reputation of Mrs Robinson and her husband Peter Robinson, Northern Ireland’s First Minister, by the 2009 expenses scandal. It emerged that in one calendar year the Robinsons had claimed £571,939

in expenses, which included lavish salaries for their children and even a daughter-inlaw, of £150,000. Her claims for everything from food to perfume caused a public clamour and even led the Daily Mail to dub the family “the swish family Robinson”.

Having once described herself as “not the brightest light in the chandelier”, this did not stop Mrs Robinson’s huge electoral success in the General Assembly elections of 2007. One of four DUP can-

“

and no little sense of a cult of personailty.

The glamour and wealth attached to Mrs Robinson had become, however, part of her brand. Her expensive clothing and lavish lifestyle had created a near-celebrity of the once working-class girl from the hard loyalist estate. Indeed the Guardian described a Mrs Robinson who “charged about in her convertible Mini Cooper, leaving a cloud of perfume and gifts from grateful constitu-

Her expensive clothing and lavish lifestyle had created a near-celebrity of the once working-class girl.

didates in her constituency of Strangford, Mrs Robinson, the leader of the ticket, managed to do what neither Mr Robinson or former DUP leader, Ian Paisley, could and get all four elected. Dismissed as too difficult beforehand, Mrs Robinson had achieved it through a mixture of careful vote management

ents trailing in her wake”, as a kind of “Ulster Sarah Palin”.

There is a question however, as to whether Mrs Robinson got caught up in this image of herself. The sharptongued, popular, glamourous queen of democratic unionism had managed to succeed in a macho, maledominated party. Her fierce

zeal mixed with an ability to charm had created for the DUP, a perfect politician.

However, as happens so often in politics, her zenith was to be quickly proceeded by her nadir.

With each piece of news that broke from Christmastime 2009 to the present, the public in Northern Ireland found themselves increasingly taken aback. Beginning with the odd announcement of her decision to retire from public life and reaching a climax with the BBC’s “Spotlight” investigation, the Robinson story was the very definition of a political sensation. The allegations made against her were as follows.

Mrs Robinson began an affair in the summer of 2008 with a nineteen-yearold called Kirk McCambley.

During the affair, she had been almost forty years older than him. Mrs Robinson had known him since he was nine years of age and had been close friends with his father who had died earlier that year. Various reports have suggested that she had, had an affair not only with Kirk’s father but also with another DUP worker in the 1980s. Mrs

Iris Robinson (DUP) in happier times.

Robinson drew strong criticism for this behaviour with veteran gay rights activist Peter Tatchell labelling her “a hypocrite” and Susan McKay, Director of the National Women’s Council of Ireland, describing her sexual behaviour towards McCambley as “predatory”.

Using the evidence of Mrs Robinson’s ex-advisor, Selwyn Black, “Spotlight” alleged that Mrs Robinson

had urged her young lover to make a bid to the Castlereagh Council for the right to run a café in the famous Lock Keeper’s Inn site. Not only did she not disclose her own involvement with McCambley to her fellow councillors but she also raised £50,000 to help his cause from two wealthy developer friends, Ken Campbell and Fred Fraser. The programme also detailed how Mrs Robinson had

Photo: David Heatley sought to get the money back from McCambley after the affair had gone sour.

Amongst the revelations was Mrs Robinson’s history of serious mental problems.

As regular attendee at a local hospital she fell victim to rumours of domestic violence. As a result, it appears that she suffered bouts of depression and attempted suicide in March 2009. Mr Robinson’s somewhat jocular

attendance at Stormont the day after adds another odd twist to the saga.

While her political career is undoubtedly over, the obvious parallels drawn between the Mrs Robinson of the DUP and the Mrs Robinson of the cult film The Graduate, the drama ensures that her cult status will continue.

Rónán Burtenshaw

Atheist group challenges Ireland’s new blasphemy law The start of this year saw the country’s new controversial blasphemy law come into effect. Cathy Geraldine Grant examines the steps being taken by those opposing it.

T

he Defamation Act 2009, which came into force on Friday, January 1, provides Ireland with a newly defined crime of blasphemy.

Blasphemy is now a crime punishable by a maximum €25,000 fine. The new controversial law defines blasphemy as publishing or uttering matter that is “grossly abusive or insulting in relation to matters held sacred by any religion, thereby causing outrage among a substantial number of the adherents of that religion.” However, it may be a defence if the defendant can show that a reasonable person would find the statement to have “genuine literary, artistic, political, scientific, or academic value”.

It has sparked outrage among the organisation Atheist Ireland, who have branded the law as anachronistic. They believe it is wrong in principle for a modern democratic republic to have any type of blasphemy law and that theological thought-crimes belong in the past.

“This new law is both silly and dangerous,” Atheist Ireland’s chairman, Michael Nugent pronounced “medieval religious laws have no

place in a modern secular republic.”

In a posting on Blasphemy.ie, the website dedicated to the campaign, Nugent writes, blasphemy laws “silence people in order to protect ideas. In a civilised society, people have a right to express and to hear ideas about religion even if other people find those ideas to be outrageous.”

Just minutes after the law officially came into force, Atheist Ireland began their campaign to have it repealed.

They published 25 quotes which they believe to be blasphemous under the new legislation.

Under the terms of the new Defamation Act, Nugent faces possible prosecution and may even be subjected to having his home searched.

The statements include utterances attributed to Jesus Christ, Muhammad, Reverend Ian Paisley, Pope Benedict XVI and even the Irish Minister for Justice, Dermot Ahern.

Among the quotes used

by Nugent is the singer Björk saying: “I say fuck the Buddhists”; Ian Paisley, former DUP leader, denouncing the Pope as “the Antichrist”; and Jesus Christ telling Jews that their God is “the devil” and

“a murderer”. Also posted is a recent comment by the Pope that Muhammad had brought only “things evil and inhuman” to the world.

Among the most irreverent was a quote by famous American musician, Frank Zappa saying that believing in God is “the chimpanzee part of the brain working”.

The organisation also quotes an exchange between Pat Rabbitte, Labour Party TD and Ahern when discussing the blasphemy law at an Oireachtas Justice Committee meeting in July 2009. Mr Ahern stated that; “Deputy Rabbitte says that I am close to the baby Jesus, I am so pure.”

Atheist Ireland said this was a case of “an Irish Justice Minister joking about himself being blasphemed, at a parliamentary justice committee discussing his own blasphemy law, [which] could make his own jokes illegal”.

The law has also attracted attention on the social networking site Facebook, with an Irish Anti-Blasphemy law group attracting over 7,000 social networkers.

Ahern, who proposed the law last year said that he could not and would not “wilfully ignore the

Constitution.”

The Constitution imposes an obligation to implement the constitutional offence of blasphemy. It states that the “publication or utterance of blasphemous, seditious or indecent matter is an offence which shall be punishable in accordance with law”.

Ahern has promised that, “No innocent conduct will be captured”, but his assurance has not soothed anxiety on the issue.

The law has also raised concern at an international level. It is believed that the new law may spark religious outrage, and set a dangerous global precedent. These fears have been sparked namely because Islamic States led

“

Under the terms of the new Defamation Act, Nugent faces possible prosecution.

by Pakistan are already using the wording of this Irish law to promote new blasphemy laws at UN level.

Professor Richard Dawins, scientist and critic of religion, has leant his support to Atheist Ireland. He stated that; “One of the world’s most beautiful and bestloved countries, Ireland, has recently become one of the most respected as well: dynamic, go-ahead, modern, civilised – a green and pleasant silicon valley. This preposterous blasphemy law puts all that respect at risk.”

Other supporters for the campaign include the creators of Father Ted, Arthur Matthews and Graham Linehan, and the European Humanist Federation (EHF).

The Federation, which represents forty-two organisations in nineteen countries, said it was “appalled” at the new law and considered it “a seriously retrograde step”.

Senator Ivana Bacik has also voiced her opposition to such a law in Ireland today.

At present, it is not known whether the Government will carry out a prosecution to this immediate challenge of the new law.

Cathy Geraldine Grant

Supporters of the campaign against the new blasphemy law include Richard Dawkins (right). The law could see many works classed as blasphemous, such as Father Ted (below).

7

The University Times | Wednesday, January 20th

TimesFeatures

Devolution threatened as scandal rocks political parties The recent scandal involving Peter Robinson, First Minister of Northern Ireland is the latest setback as the troubles of the people of Northern Ireland continue.

Despite Mr Robinson’s political will, mounting pressure has forced him to step down and hand control over to Enterprise leader, Arlene Foster, MLA while he endeavours to prove his innocence.

Mr Robinson’s fervent assurances to the people of Northern Ireland on Wednesday, January 6th did little to quell the questionability of his integrity. He stated; “I want to assure the wider community that I have at all times sought to carry out my public duties diligently, and I will continue to discharge those responsibilities without allowing, as far as lies within me, my personal hurt to limit my endeavours.”

This very public fall from grace may signal an end for his political career. For months, the leader of the Democratic Unionist Party (DUP) has been struggling to deal with the increasing pressure for devolution in a highly-charged political atmosphere at Stormont. However, when Foster temporarily took over the role of First Minister she was at pains to stress that, “Peter hasn’t left the scene, he is still the leader of the party, very clearly, and he is still the First Minister”.

At the centre of the extraordinary allegations is the accusation that when Mr Robinson found out about the illegal transactions between his wife and her lover, he did not tell the proper authorities, despite being bound by the ministerial code to act in the public interest at all times. In the aftermath, a number of investigations have been launched

by Castlereagh Borough Council and the General Assembly’s ethics watchdog.

The cross-party Standards and Privileges Committee could also order a full probe.

In response to questions posed to him over the

programme “Spotlight”, which revealed to the nation Mrs Robinson’s affair, her husband said that he was shocked by many of the financial issues which he had not heard before. The First Minister insists that he had no knowledge of the financial arrangements and accused the press of seeking to “smear by association”.

Reaction has been mixed amongst the political parties, but most have expressed their support for the Robinson family with Taoiseach, Brian Cowen stating; “ I want to pass on my best wishes to Peter Robinson and his family as they deal with very difficult personal issues at this time.”

But in the midst of this scandal, political opponents and government leaders have decided to concentrate on the looming crisis of devolution.

Prime Minister Gordon Brown, appealed to the provinces’ politicians to concentrate on resolving the outstanding political issues facing them. He said, “I urge

“

Public confidence is falling in the capability of politicians to continue to make progress with devolution.

all politicians in Northern Ireland, whatever the turbulence of recent events, to remain focused on the business of government.”

The political fall-out of this public embarrassment has enormous implications.

It is becoming increasingly clearer that public confidence is falling not only in Mr

Robinson, but in the capability of Northern Ireland’s politicians to continue to make progress with devolution.

The DUP and Sinn Fein have spent the last few months bickering in a deadlock that is threatening the establishment of peace in Northern Ireland. The parties have failed to provide a timetable for the devolution of policing and justice.

Ulster Unionist Party (UUP) leader Sir Reg Empey said, “The prospect of a plethora of inquiries going on for months, distracting the First Minister and leaving Stormont in a powerless state, cannot be contemplated”.

Foster responded by stating that she is hopeful that a breakthrough is within reach but insisted that, “it must come to a Northern Ireland that is stable and durable so that we can do it for the people of Northern Ireland.”

Indeed there has been a noticeable intensification of talks in the last week and it seems that the DUP’s internal problems have spawned a new realism. Whether or not the public’s confidence in its politicians are waning, the DUP and Sinn Fein are both still anxious to express their commitment to resolving what Mrs Foster calls “the last piece of the jigsaw”.

An ever-present thorn in Mr Robinson’s side, DUP MP Gregory Campbell said that the community still did not have enough confidence to

devolve the powers to Stormont. He stated; “It doesn’t matter how many first ministers come and go, it doesn’t matter how many scandals there are or aren’t, that remains the issue.”

The consequences of a further breakdown in talks would spell disaster for everyone involved and perhaps the collapse of the powersharing government. With each party having recently been involved in scandal, hopefuls have speculated that perhaps a new understanding between the DUP and Sinn Fein might arise.

SDLP leader, Mark Durkan said; “It seems to the SDLP that a humbler DUP has now found a clearer perspective on the devolution of justice and policing.”

What appears more likely is that each party will realise what is at stake, and look to the future in an attempt to forget the past. It remains to be seen how this new sense of urgency will re-energise the parties in what is sure to be a make or break era of political uncertainty for Northern Ireland.

The Taoiseach and the Prime Minister met in London on Thursday, January 14th for discussion on the affairs of Northern Ireland and issued a joint statement saying that the two governments do not contemplate failure in the current negotiations.

Catherine Alice Nicholas

Hundreds of pupils Dublin resident take part in Young carries explosives Scientist exhibition onto plane A record number of schools entered the BT Young Scientist exhibition this year.

Over 1,500 pupils entered their projects from all thirtytwo countries.Five hundred of these entries have been selected for the Exhibition at the RDS and the competition runs from January 12th – 16th.

The competition’s principal objective is to make science fun, giving students the opportunity to explore the possibilities of science outside of the classroom.

Attracting attention this year is an experiment devised by pupils seeking to find the answer to an age-old myth. After in-depth analysis involving hundreds of fellow pupils and teachers, the students from Drumcree College in Portadown, Co Armagh discovered three quarters of redheads were fiery, 59% of brunettes were boring, and 64% of blondes scored ‘below average’ in IQ tests.

Last year, fourteen-yearold John O’Callaghan and

thirteen-year-old Liam McCarthy, students from Kinsale Community School, Co. Cork stunned judges with their groundbreaking test which helps to establish the health of cattle using washing up liquid. Their project won the overall award 2009 BT Young Scientist.

As well as the 500 student projects on display, there are a further four exhibition halls filled with science and technology based exhibits and entertainment, making it an exhilarating event for those who enter and for general visitors too.

Cathy Geraldine Grant

A security procedure at eastern Slovakia’s Poprad-Tatry airport went awry when a passenger obliviously carried explosive material in his backpack on a flight to Dublin.

Plastic explosives were planted in the luggage of the unlucky male passenger, a forty-nine year old Slovak returning to his residence in Dublin on Saturday, January 2, after his Christmas holiday.

The man, who has been living in Dublin for the past three years, had two plastic explosives planted in his luggage in a bid to test the efficiency of new sniffer dogs in the airport.

However, the sniffer dogs found only one of the packages in which the explosives were concealed, and officers who became distracted failed to remove the other. The passenger, unaware of this, then boarded the 11am flight to Dublin.

The Slovakian government issued a statement explaining that a telex had

been sent to the authorities in Dublin informing them of the situation. However, Dublin Airport Authority (DAA) claimed that they received no telex until the following Tuesday morning.

It is now believed that a private company operating Dublin airport received the telex, not the DAA who only received information about the incident on Tuesday, January 5 and immediately informed the Garda Síochána.

The Slovak’s home on Lower Dorset Street was raided and the surrounding area closed off and evacuated for over an hour. The man was arrested at the flat and detained for three hours at Mountjoy Garda station until the Garda were satisfied that he was innocent in the matter.

Slovakian Police chief Tibor Mako expressed his apologies, “We are very sorry that a good effort to test the security of civilian air transport turned out so badly.”

Cathy Geraldine Grant

8

Wednesday, January 20th | The University Times

TimesFeatures

College brought to a standstill by winter freeze Daniel O’Reilly examines the recent weather conditions that almost shut down the college and the entire country.

M

any college and city’s facilities were disrupted during the Christmas break as the coldest weather since 1982 created chaotic scenes nationwide.

The front gates of college had to be closed due to the hazardous conditions and many services were disrupted in the city centre.

Bus routes into and out of the greater Dublin area experienced delays while some Dublin buses finished early due to health and safety.

The nightlink services which many people were depending on to get them home from their festive celebrations were cancelled.

The city’s local authorities were in a state of panic as supplies of grit began to diminish leaving many roads treacherous to drivers, cyclists and pedestrians alike.

The city resorted to using 60% sand in place of the usual salt as supplies dwindled to a few tonnes. The AA Rescue was called out for emergencies over 700 times as commuters combated the frozen roads.

Airport services were also affected as Aer Lingus

released a statement stating that thirty-one flights had been cancelled and most flights were experiencing delays of at least an hour. International students were left grounded in the airport as authorities struggled to clear the ice from the runways both here and in their destinations.

The disruptions in transport had perhaps the direst consequences for students on placement in hospitals during the cold snap. One student described how she had to walk three hours from Chapelizoid to Rathmines because her bus was cancelled. She stated; “It was like a mass exodus from the city, everybody was trudging through the snow, it was like a scene from a disaster movie”.

The annual Scholarship examinations were also affected by the icy weather as exams scheduled for Monday, January 11th were postponed. One Schols candidate commented that, “it was very short notice and it wasn’t very organized”.

Other colleges were badly affected by the freezing

conditions as NUI Maynooth also rescheduled exams and UCD had to shut both its Belfield and Blackrock campuses to vehicles.

Many sporting events were also cancelled with horse racing, Magners league fixtures and GAA provincial cups all postponed due to frozen pitches or unnecessary risk to spectators.

Of course much of the city’s more vulnerable inhabitants suffered due to the freezing weather. Many elderly people were left isolated in their homes. Meanwhile Focus Ireland had to extend the opening hours for access to its services as many homeless felt the effects of the bitter cold.

Accident and Emergency units in hospitals were also under pressure, as they saw a 33% increase in admissions from the same period last year as people were injured in falls and suffered illnesses due to the cold weather. The fire service also experienced an increase in call outs as more people lit fires in their homes in an effort to fight off the cold which lead to an increase to chimney fires.

An Irish Apartheid Currently working on a PhD in Trinity College, Sara Burke has just published a book entitled ‘Irish Apartheid: Healthcare Inequality in Ireland’, a damning look at the two-tier health system that exists in this country, the only country in Europe that allows private healthcare to be provided in public hospitals.

The book clearly lays out the failures of the healthcare system, and shows how there is segregation between those who can afford private healthcare and those who can’t. Burke succeeds in showing how the system

work at maximum capacity to supply water to many locations in the city. Meanwhile, many mains have been broken by the frost and subsequent thaw leaving some homes without water and thus central heating. Dublin City Council is urging people to conserve water as it attempts to repair burst mains and restore normal water levels. Many localities will be supplied with reduced pressure during off-peak times in an effort to prevent waste of current water supplies.

The high level of expenditure required to maintain the roads during the so called “Big Chill” will mean cutting down on expenditure later in the year. South Dublin county councils spending alone comes to €1.2 million which is three times the €400,000 figure that was budgeted for.

With no extra money being made available to the councils, it can be assumed that this year’s extraordinarily cold winter will still be felt by the council’s financiers until the end of the year.

The defence forces were also called in to aid in the clearing of pavements.

Perhaps the happiest people during the poor conditions were schoolchildren.

Minister for Education, Batt O’Keeffe’s imposed a blanket ban on primary and secondary schools opening until Thursday ,14th January.

However, many parents and employers were angered by Minister O’Keefe’s decision when it became clear that many schools could have reopened much sooner as the forecasted heavy snowfall for last week didn’t materialize.

This left many people making last minute childcare arrangements as they returned to work.

Noel Dempsey, Minister for Transport also courted controversy during the cold spell. He spent the worst parts of the cold spell in Malta. As the public called for a statement from him he was conspicuous in his absence leaving many to question his priorities.

In the aftermath of the cold snap, water supplies have been running low as functioning treatment plants

College Park during the recent snowfall that disrupted the country.

Photo: David O’Dwyer

Daniel O’Reilly

Kate Ferguson looks at the Irish healthcare system and the innate unfairness of its segregated nature.

works to the advantage of those who can afford the private health care, while being detrimental to those who can’t.

Every resident in Ireland is entitled to full eligibility (Category 1, Medical Card Holders) or limited eligibility (Category 2, Non-Medical Card Holders) for health services.

Medical card holders are entitled to free access to GP services, prescribed drugs and medicines, public hospital services, dental services, optical services, aural services, maternity and infant care services and certain

community care and personal social services.

Non-Medical Card Holders are entitled to free hospital services but may be charged in-patient and outpatient hospital charges.

They are also entitled to subsidised prescribed drugs and medicines and maternity and infant care services. They are not entitled to free GP visits but they may be eligible for some community care and personal social services.

Health care promotion is aimed at everyone regardless of what category they fall into, as is child health services and prescribed drugs and

medicines for certain illnesses. So far, so good, when put like that it looks like the Irish government is making a good effort to ensure a fair and balanced health care system that eliminates the need for anybody to have private health care insurance. But the reality is very different.

In reality all of these services have waiting lists that can run into years. Sick people get sicker as they wait for the crucial healthcare necessary to improve their condition. Meanwhile people who can afford private healthcare receive the necessary care almost immediately in the

same hospitals.

As the government closes hospital beds across the country in an attempt to save money the gap between the private and public health care sector gets wider and the waiting lists get longer.

In September 2007 there were 1,673 people waiting on trolleys in A&E departments around the country, this figure rose to 2,062 in September of this year. At the same time hospital cutbacks have meant there has been a total closure of 570 beds nationwide.

With the McCarthy recommending cuts of about

one billion euro in health services, we have to wonder where this will all end. The real victims of these cuts will be the most vulnerable in our society; the sick and the elderly. Decisions will have to be made soon regarding the future of the countries health care system. These are decisions that will have long lasting repercussions on all of the Irish people and which have the possibility to create an unbridgeable gap between the private and public health care sectors.

Kate Ferguson

As Gaeilge, in English

An binn béal ina thost?

Is silence golden?

An Eaglais is conspóidí in Éirinn i láthair na huaire ná “The Church of Dermotology.” (Nó an dara Eaglais is conspóidí ar a laghad.) Cheapfá gur cultas reiligiúnach eile atá ann ar dtús. Nó gríos cnis! Ach ní mar sin atá an scéal…

Bunaíodh “The Church of Dermotology” mar fhreagra ar an dlí nua in éadan an diamhasla a tháinig i bhfeidhm ar an gcéad lá d’Éanáir 2010 mar chuid den Acht Um Chlúmhilleadh. Dar leis an dlí nua seo, gearrfar píonós nach mó ná €25,000 ar éinne a fhaightear ciontach as diamhasla. Tá go leor cur agus cúiteamh ann faoin dlí seo agus an bac a chuirfidh sé ar shaoirse cainte.

Bhunaigh Michael Nugent, Uachtarán Atheist Ireland, “The Church of Dermotology” in ómós an Aire Dlí is Cirt, Dermot Ahern leis an dlí a thástáil. (Imeartas focal dár ndóigh atá in ainm na hEaglaise ar ainm Dermot Ahern agus ar an “Church of Scientology”). De réir an dlí nua seo, is éard atá i “ndiamhasla” ná ráitis nó foilseacháin a mhaslaíonn aon nithe atá beannaithe ag aon chreideamh ar bith agus a spreagann uafás d’aon ghnó i “líon substaintiúil” de lucht leanúna an chreidimh úd. Ach tá an sáinmhiniú seo chomh doiléir gur deacair a shamhlú conas gur féidir an reachtaíocht a chur in éifeacht. Cad is brí le “líon substaintiúil?” An é sin 99% de leantóirí an chreidimh i gceist? Nó an

The Church of Dermotology- Ireland’s most controversial Church at the moment. (Or the second most controversial at the least.) At first you’d imagine it was just another religious cult. Or a skin condition! But it isn’t quite like that…

The Church of Dermotology was set up in response to the new law against blasphemy that was introduced on the 1st January 2010 as part of the Defamation Act. According to this new law, anyone found guilty of blasphemy will be fined up to €25,000. There has been great debate over the law and its implications on freedom of speech.

Michael Nugent, the President of Atheist Ireland set up the Church in honor of the Dermot Ahern, the Minister of Justice, in order to test the blasphemy law. (The name of the Church is of course a clever pun on the Minister’s Name and ‘’The Church if Scientology.’’) According to the law, blasphemy is defined as any statement or publication that is insulting in relation to matters held sacred by any religion and that causes deliberate outrage amongst a ‘’substantial number’’ of the followers of that religion. But this definition is so vague it’s hard to imagine how the legislation can be put into effect. What is a substantial number? Is it 99% of the followers of the religion in question? Or is one third of them enough? But couldn’t

leor aon trian dóibh? Ach nach bhféadfaí diamhasla a chur i leith daoine ar nós Arthur Mathews and Graham Linehan, scríobhneoirí Father Ted, an clár teilifíse is cáilliúla dár rinneadh in Éirinn riamh?

Is í an phríomhchreidiúnt atá ag “The Church of Dermotology” ná gur sheol Dia Dermot Ahern go hÉirinn chun an tír a shábháil ó “smaoineamh réasúnach.”

Tá fobhristí le ceannach fiú ar a bhfuil siombal na hEaglaise (The Star of Dermot) orthu. Creidtear go diongbháilte go gcosnaíonn na fobhristí “draíochtúla” seo an duine atá á gcaitheamh ó thine agus ó philéir! Creidtear chomh maith gur ionann wafers uachtar reoite agus corp Dermot Ahern. Mar sin, is geall le diamhasla wafers uacthar reoite a ithe, dar leis an Eaglais. Anuas ar seo, tá an eagraíocht a’ rá gur diamhasla thar na bearta atá ann, dar leo, aon phictiúir a fhoilsiú dá nDia, Dermot Ahern, agus tá siad toilteanach an dlí a chur ar éinne a dhéanann a léithéid le teorainn an dlí nua a thástáil. A léithéid de sheafóid?

B’fhéidir é, ach caithfear a adhmháil go bhfuil ag éirí go seoigh leis an eagraíocht aird a tharraingt ar cé chomh dáiríre is atá an reachtaíocht seo.

Ní miste súil a leagan ar impleachtaí an dlí seo ar thíortha eile. Is cosúil go bhfuil an dlí ag cur breosla ar teannas agus antoisceachas domhanda. Sna Náisiúin

Aontaithe, bhain an Phacastáin úsáid as sampla na hÉireann cheana féin mar thacaíocht lena dtuairim gur chóir dlí mar seo a chur i bhfeidhm ar bonn idirnáisiúnta.

In Éirinn, tá baol ann go ngríosfaidh an dlí seo daoine radacacha le seasamh antoisceach a ghlacadh. An gá do chláir ar nós That’s All We’ve Time For agus The Savage Eye aire a thabhairt? Nó an gcaithfidh scríobhneoirí scripte do shobalchláir abháir chonspóideacha a cháineann an Eaglais a sheachaint? Ach n’fheadar cén fáth go mbeadh éinne ag cáineadh na hEaglaise….

Ní cioncheap úrnua é an dlí in éadan an diamhasla- ba chuid den Bhunreacht é i 1937. Ach is dóigh go bhfuil athrú meoin tagtha ar mhuintir na hÉireann ó shin. Iorónta b’fhéidir gur scríobhadh dlí an diamhasla sa bhliain chéanna inár tháinig scannail agus uafáis na hEaglaise Chaitlicí chun léargais. Cinnte, ní féidir a shéanadh ach go raibh forlámhas ag an Eaglais ar an stáit nuair a cumadh Bunreacht na hÉireann. Ach ní mar sin atá sé a thuilleadh. Tá ár saoirse cainte á creimeadh ag reactaíocht nua seo. An nglacfaimid le dlí mar seo sa tsochaí iolraíoch atá againn in Éirinn inniu.

Síobhra Nic Aogáin

the writers of Father Ted, Arthur Mathews and Graham Linehan, be accused of blasphemy?

The main religious belief held by the ‘’Church of Dermotology’’ is that God sent Dermot Ahern to Ireland to save the country from ‘reasonable thinking.’ Underwear with the Church’s symbol (the Star of Dermot) has even been made available for purchase! It is firmly believed that these ‘magical’ underpants are protection against fire and bullets!

It’s also believed that ice-cream wafers are literally the body of Dermot Ahern.

Therefore, anyone who eats ice-cream wafers is committing blasphemy against the followers of ‘’The Church of Dermotology.’’ As well as this, the Church believes that it is hugely blasphemous to publish images of their God, Dermot Ahern, and they are willing to convict anyone who does so in order to test the law. A load of nonsense? Maybe so, but the organisation must be given credit for effectively raising attention to the seriousness of this legislation.

We have to consider the implications this law has on other countries across the world. It seems the Irish blasphemy law is in fact fuelling international extremism. At the United Nations, Pakistan have already used Ireland’s example to support the implementation of a similar legislation on an international

level.

In Ireland, there’s a danger that the blasphemy law will encourage radicals to take extremist stances. Should programmes such as That’s All We’ve Time For and The Savage Eye watch their backs? Or will script writers for soaps have to avoid controversial subjects that condemn the Church? But then again, why would anyone be criticizing the Church…

The idea of a law against blasphemy isn‘t a brand new concept – it was a part of Bunreacht na hÉireann in 1937. Since then, however, attitudes in Ireland have totally changed. It seems ironic that this blasphemy law was written during the same year in which the scandals and horrors of the Catholic Church came to light. Of course, we can’t deny that the Catholic Church had dominance over the State when the Constitution was first written. But times have changed. This legislation threatens our freedom of speech. Will we accept such a law in the pluralist society of Ireland today?

Síobhra Nic Aogáin

9

The University Times | Wednesday, January 20th

TimesOPINION

The reality of the inhumanity of homelessness Claire Dunne

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n November at the annual Vincent de Paul Intervarsity, I attended a talk by an elderly nun and was ill-prepared for the legacy her humble speech would leave on me.

In an over-warm and sleepy room this remarkable lady spoke candidly to an intimate and motley audience of college students about the drugaddicts, abuse victims and alcoholics she has worked with throughout her life. When I say worked, I mean to engage a unique interpretation of the word. On occasion she helped these people to change their lives, rehabilitating them from homeless, unidentifiable citizens to employable and hygienic people. She spoke equally of less celebrated occasions when she watched powerlessly as her clients gradually killed themselves through a poisonous combination of addiction and an absolute absence of self worth, a powerfully overwhelming pairing for anyone to deal with.

The latest figures from the Homeless Agency, state 2,366 people are homeless in Dublin in 2008. 2,366!

That’s a lot of people. Of this number 110 were sleeping rough.

Considering the above statistic it becomes easy to rationalise and thereby justify, the presence of homelessness. It is in the ordinariness of homelessness that the danger lies. In a world where we are encouraged to pursue our own goals and maximise our personal achievement, it is terrifyingly easy to (at best) walk past another human being on the street and either fail to register their presence, or their humanity. At worst, a feeling of smugness or conceit can be sparked, consciously or otherwise, potentially due to one’s own relief at not being in a similarly hopeless situation.

Of course, it is both inaccurate and unhelpful to attribute blame to

individual insensitivity and ignorance. There is a collective mind set that has been gradually accepted and ultimately deeply ingrained in our society. This mind set leads to the passivity, which characterises homeless people as dehumanized individuals.

It is easy to walk past a person when you do not consider their humanity. It would become instantly complicated if you knew their name, the dreams they had in childhood, and the path of unfortunate events which lead to their current location on that anonymous square of concrete.

The most uncomfortable aspect of the nun’s talk was hearing the names of the people she worked with. There

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observation, which was sparked during the talk also; anyone can become homeless.

By this, she meant just that, including you. Including me. There are no absolutes guaranteeing exclusion for anyone.

There have recently been a reported a surprising number of businessmen who have lost their jobs and, in order to save face, leave their home each morning in suits but spend their working day begging as their only alternative to support their families.

There are many celebrity figures who were famously homeless at one point of their life, including Daniel Craig and George Orwell. The latter famously wrote one of his best known books based on his brief experience on the streets, Down and Out in Paris and London.

Ripley Bogle, by Irish author Robert McLiam Wilson, records the adventures of a maverick student who dropped out of Cambridge University disillusioned with society and ends up on the streets of London. What is notable about Ripley Bogle is the pain-

Anyone can become homeless, including you. There are no absolutes guaranteeing exclusion for anyone.

was Iris, a housewife with children who was arrested numerous times for sleeping on buses before it emerged she was doing so to avoid an abusive husband.

John, who had a pregnant girlfriend and a cocaine addiction. The cocaine addiction unfortunately took precedence, until the authorities intervened and John was offered a rehabilitation programme, succeeded, and now remains reunited (though closely monitored) with his now sixyear-old daughter.

I recalled a programme I had seen aired by the BBC entitled Famous, Rich and Homeless. The documentary followed six small time celebrities as they lived on the streets of London for five days. Although painfully unaware at times, the programme highlighted one overwhelming

fully accurate way McLiam Wilson records the sensations of living on the streets. No doubt due to the autobiographical nature of the book, which was drawn from his own experience of being homeless as a young man. Most troublingly he captures the hopelessness of the situation: “I am twenty-one years old, my name is Ripley Bogle and my occupations are starving, freezing and weeping hysterically”.

Further, the less than amusing realities of hunger and bodily discomfort are recorded, “It suddenly comes to me that I am hungry. Well, perhaps ‘hungry’ is not quite the right word. Bowel witheringly fucking ravenous might well be a more just and measured phrase to describe what I am currently experiencing . . . Have I already mentioned the fact that

I haven’t eaten in more than three days? . . . I grew so fucking desperate that I picked a half-eaten hamburger out of a litter bin, cleaned the grit off and wolfed it down with relish.” After reading such an unchecked narrative on the experience of being homeless I find it hard to pretend I can relate to that experience in any way.

I am left with a feeling of hopelessness. With such a large number of homeless people on the streets, what can be done? Do the old myths stand true; that “all homeless people are drug-addled alcoholics, the lowest of society and/or too lazy to help themselves”, “Surely they could just get jobs”, and “If I give them money it would be drunk or smoked or injected within a few hours” No. Despite years of caution from parents and friends and teachers, I think people are beginning to realise this situation is not that simple, and one should not allow such convenient, familiar thoughts to spur them towards apathy, which is inevitably followed by inaction. Rather, the nun advised that to offer people food vouchers is often more helpful than offering money.

What is needed most though is a change of perception, an overhaul of the casting of homeless people as faceless, inhuman and on the periphery of society. It is only when they are attributed worth and seen as human beings that their position will change and they will elevate themselves, with help, to become active members of society.

However, it is essential for us to remember the irony, as illustrated by Ripley Bogle, “The second thing to be noted is the fact that I am sitting on this frozen bench, threatening to flop over at any minute from pure poverty and all the while I am less that three hundred yards from Buckingham Palace. (This thought has an annoying tendency to make me giggle hysterically.)”

Namely, that none of us are immune to misfortune, and surely society will prosper if we are all a little more willing to offer the benefit of the doubt to those struggling, in the hope that someday someone will do the same for us if necessary. In the name of humanity.

The Free Marketeer

Students’ Union Book Store Inefficient, unnecessary, and doesn’t help the target underprivileged demographic.

Jonathan Wyse

A

good friend of mine recently retired from a parttime job at a subsidised book store run by the Students’ Union. A relatively banal event, marked by a celebratory dinner in a top Dublin restaurant at the expense of tax-payers and students.

The student-run book store in Trinity College is inefficient and unnecessary. Since it doesn’t help the targeted demographic of underprivileged students, it should be privatised.

For those unfamiliar with the Students’ Union book store, they deal in second-hand books and provide them to students at decent prices. The selection of books is not limited strictly to academic texts, and employees engage in an annual pilgrimage to London to purchase used books for the store – all paid for by the college, of course.

Let’s establish some background to the discussion. There is a high opportunity cost to locating the book store

in the current on-campus location.

If the college were to rent the space out to the highest bidder, no doubt that somebody would be more than willing to pay a significant sum for it.

Let’s imagine that the area was rented out by a private second-hand book store. This rent could supplant existing marginal revenue sources of the university – specifically, increases in the student registration fee. Would books be provided to students at lower costs? It depends.

The extra costs associated with private enterprise (to pay rent and profit) would be assuaged by increases in efficiency of service. The current student-run initiative is filled with croneyism and inefficiency – with hiring decisions made on vague ethos-based criteria, and the obvious difficulties arising when students manage their friends. Meanwhile, the private firm would have the incentives and freedom necessary to impose efficient work-place practices

and fire ineffective workers. Competition in the free market would ensure the most efficient book store secured the location. Even if prices were slightly higher (and they may not be), the new private enterprise would be selling more books to more people.

There may be an argument for taxing students through the registration fee in order to subsidise disadvantaged students who could not otherwise afford necessary books. Does this policy essentially achieve that?

Not by a long shot.

Sure, the store supplies books – but there’s no guarantee that they’ll

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The current studentrun initiative is filled with croneyism and inefficiency – with hiring decisions made on vague ethos-based criteria.

have the specific texts that poor students may be looking for. Ironically, the poorest students in the university are less likely to shop here and more likely to take books out of the library.

It was a pointless policy to begin with.

What have we learned? The book store incurs costs on all students, as the opportunity cost would reduce the burden on students imposed by the registration fee. The book store imparts benefits on some students – those lucky enough to obtain a job through the incessant croneyism, and those who fancy purchasing whatever random selection of books are present.

If the college really wanted to support the disadvantaged members of our community, skip the middle man – who in this case is a cabal of rackateering students that exploit their privileged position by celebrating significant events in Trocadero. Book vouchers for the underprivileged could be administered far more effectively by the college.

Of course, if the university was forced to actually analyse the necessity of such a policy, they would soon realise that it was completely unnecessary. Is a student-run book store likely to supply titles that the college library doesn’t stock? Nope. Given that any student has access to the library, the college should stop wasting our money on the Union book store.

Gordon Brown must realise it’s not about the economy – it’s about being stupid It would be fair to assume that in light of the American Presidential elections just under two years ago, political aristocrats and enthusiasts alike would relish another opportunity to see leading politicians engage in an enduring battle for covenanted seats of power. However, the upcoming British General election will not reach the engrossing and intriguing heights of its American counterpart. Electioneering has only officially started a number of weeks ago, but the British electorate may be forgiven for wishing the process would come to a premature end.

Whilst it was difficult to predict the outcome of the American election, Samantha Cameron should already be measuring number 10’s windows for curtain sizes. I wholeheartedly believe the Conservative party will handsomely win power in June, accompanied by a considerably large majority. However, the only lasting consequence of this political adjustment is that David Cameron will now be engrossed in a war of unsubstantiated hyperbole from the opposite dispatch box in the House of Commons. For some, Conservatism might represent a shift from the fledgling Gordon Brown and his self-harming Labour Party, but after the honeymoon period has ended, the ruling party will endure the same, and worse, antagonisms and transgressions that undermined Labour in the latter years. So what advice can I offer the weary British electorate as an interested foreigner? Will Conservative rule be that bad?

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Cameron’s policies have successfully received minimal scrutiny, mainly as a result of Gordon Brown possessing the articulation skills of a robot.

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Brown cannot command the support of his own cabinet. How can he expect to inspire confidence in a suspicious nation?

The rationale underlining my apprehension as to the Conservatives’ Governmental aptitude is rooted in their prospective policies and vision.

Yes, it is not only David Cameron’s glossy election poster that has been airbrushed. His policies have successfully received minimal scrutiny, mainly as a result of Gordon Brown possessing the articulation skills of a robot, and the British media’s obsession with unscrupulous inter party slanging rather than the materiality of policies.

For example, the electorate should pay particular attention to the prospective policy measures aiming to reduce the effects of the economic recession. The policy espoused by Cameron rests on the necessity of reducing public spending in order to balance the national debt, which currently stands at £829.7 billion. The Public and Government alike have to tighten their belts in order to avoid future adversity. At first glance this seems reasonable. However, most economists have convulsed in fear of the aforementioned. In times of recession most families are making financial cut backs, thus there is less money spent in the commercial sector. This is the catalyst for the Government to initiate a financial stimulus package, sometimes supported by borrowing, to assist the economy in its recovery and prevent its collapse. You then pay back the debt when the economy is stable, a position Cameron rejects.

The adverse implications for Cameronomics can be witnessed in Ireland. The centre right government reduced taxes and public spending.

Presently, the economy has contracted by 15%, one of the sharpest contractions of a modern industrial nation, and unemployment has increased to 12.5%. Evidently, Cameron has misjudged his economics. The policy currently implemented by the Labour Party, whilst undoubtedly not the immediate cure to the dire economic situation, has long-term merits. Before long, figures for unemployment and High Street sales should indicate positive improvements in the economy. Consequentially, should the electorate offer Labour a reprieve, just like the incumbent Tories, who battled victoriously through equally traumatic recessions of 1980-81/1991-92?

Nevertheless, I am sceptical as to whether Gordon Brown’s dying wish can be granted and he will be able to return to his perch of power. He may possess a myriad of more credible policies but lacks the essential skill of advocacy to present them. This will be detrimental but he lacks a much more critical attribute that will ultimately lead to his political death and Conservative rule. He fails to inspire confidence.

As suggested by the mumblings of discontent and evidenced by resignations and an attempted leadership challenge, Brown cannot command the support of his own cabinet. How can he expect to inspire confidence in a suspicious nation? He is a weak leader that only survived last month’s leadership challenge by granting concessions to opportunistic cabinet colleagues and the inability of others to offer themselves as willing replacements. His laudable policies fall on the deaf ears of cabinet officials and the electorate, as they do not have confidence in their merits.

The only option available to Brown is to admit his faults, accept his skills are better placed in the Treasury, and let a younger, fresh-faced rhetorician save Labour, in the short time before the election, from political extinction. Perhaps, give Tony Blair a call. Of course, the previous scenario is improbable, so get ready for a decade of blue rule.

Niall Donnelly

10

Wednesday, January 20th | The University Times

TimesOPINION

Letters

College: Freedom of Speech

to the Editor

Letters should be mailed to ‘The Editor, The University Times, 6 Trinity College’ or sent by email to letters@universitytimes.ie We cannot guarantee that all letters will be published. Letters may be edited for length and/or style.

Dumb without the merit of being blonde

The threat to our freedom of speech in Trinity

Dear Sir, I write in connection with your attribution to me of the description of a colleague as ‘dumb without the virtue of being blonde’. There is, of course, so far as I am aware, no implication of virtue in the colour of a person’s hair. What I in fact wrote was ‘dumb without the merit of being blonde’.

This was sufficient in itself to cause shock and horror among the sensitive members of our academic community, but probably in the circumstances it was about the nicest thing that I could say. Some amount of cultural clarification seems to be necessary.

I have never assumed that blondes are dumb. In the first place I have known too many clever blondes to make so absurd an equation. Further, there is no such equation made in the medieval English tradition with which I am most familiar. Medieval heroines are characteristically at one and the same time both blonde and intelligent. An obvious case in point is Blanche, the duchess of Chaucer’s ‘Book of the Duchess’ (in fact the daughter of Henry of Grosmont, 1st Duke of Lancaster, 1351, and first wife of John of Gaunt). Chaucer describes her hair (in fact every hair on her head) as ‘not red,/ Ne nouther yelowe ne broun hyt nas;/ Me thoghte most lyk gold hyt was’ (BD, 856-58) and tells us also that ‘dulnesse was of hir adrad’ (BD, 879).

Where, then, does this demeaning association of blondes with lack of intelligence originate? According to my brilliant seminar group on ‘Sir Gawain and the Green Knight’, it derives from Californian culture and the beach belles to be found there. If so, it is an unfortunate American importation into English culture. Let it be said, then, that Irish blondes, just as English blondes, are both beautiful and clever. And let us use the phrase ‘dumb blonde’ as an ironic reversal of social stereotyping in the best Swiftian manner.

Finally, I may say that I and my ‘Sir Gawain’ group are entirely dissatisfied with the placing of ourselves as 43rd in the world’s universities (Gawain himself, after all, is the best of the best). This is therefore a public warning to Harvard that we are aiming to become the world’s top university. I hope that we have the support of ‘The University Times’ in this laudable endeavour.

Very best wishes, Gerald Morgan, FTCD (1993-2002)

Welcome to the 16th century

Tom Lowe Few students know or care about Trinity’s Capitation Committee. That seems reasonable, given its fairly dry remit – to distribute the money for student services raised through the registration fee between the five organisations which promote and manage student activities on campus – sports, publications, societies and the two unions. In the absence of a big change in one organisation’s favour, the committee’s job should be fairly uncontroversial.

Last term, however, the Senior Dean, who chairs the committee, proposed a new “Terms of Reference” document, to redefine its purpose.

Included in this document is an article which proposes that the Senior Dean should be able to “seize” copies of any publication in Trinity which he feels could harm the college.

The Senior Dean claims that this measure is necessary to ensure that the college is not found legally liable for the content of Trinity’s publications. A reasonable ambition, I have no doubt, but as this college’s most famous literary alumnus, Oscar Wilde, said: “It is always with the best of intentions that the worst work is done.” All of Trinity’s major publications are voluntary members of the Press Council of Ireland, the same independent body which arbitrates

disputes on the content of all newspapers in this country. Its staff is comprised of legal professionals who excel in media law. The Senior Dean’s field of expertise is Botany.

Quite apart from the Senior Dean’s lack of expertise, his office is likely to feature in Trinity newspapers for years to come, often with a critical tone. Say this article bordered on defamation (I’ve checked, it doesn’t).

Can we trust the Senior Dean to cast a fair eye over it? I’m not impugning the Senior Dean’s motives, but he won’t be a disinterested party in many of the cases that would cross his desk in his new role.

Passing this measure will take the responsibility of legal adjudication on the content of newspapers from a dedicated, external, independent body and give it to an untrained individual member of staff in the organization on which these newspapers report. Imagine you found yourself in court accused of stealing from a shop. Who would you want banging the gavel, a judge or the shopkeeper?

This measure will permanently damage the relative freedom of communication that students have enjoyed for years. Trinity’s student media allow us to talk about the factors that affect our education, our living conditions and our social lives.

They give us a platform from which to protest when college impinges on our rights. The average student has no say in the vast majority of important decisions made in college today.

I’m willing to wager that a large proportion of the people who read this article didn’t know about this issue, which proves my point. A free and independently audited press makes for a happy and fair community where, if oppression is going to happen, at least the oppressed will have a chance to argue their case.

Fortunately students do have a say in this measure. If every student representative on the Capitation Committee opposes the document, it will not pass. Unfortunately, the structure and purpose of the Capitation Committee usually pits these representatives against each other over

struggles for funding, and they’re not used to working together in the interests of the student body as a whole.

That’s why I’m asking you, the reader, to do something about this.

If you’re a member of a sports club, let your DUCAC representative know that you won’t stand for censorship.

Society Treasurers will have an opportunity to vote on this issue directly at the CSC TGM on the 26th of this month, so let yours know where you stand. Email your union with your views: education@tcdsu.org for undergrads, president@gsu.tcd.ie for postgrads. As Treasurer of Trinity Publications, the other organization with a say, I will be using my vote and my voice to oppose this measure to the last.

Tom Lowe

Culture: Unsexy Ireland

Dear Sir, I was shocked and appalled to see that the anti-blasphemy law has successfully been legislated by our lumbering oaf of a government. As one comment on Twitter read on January 1st, when the law came into effect ‘Happy new year Ireland, welcome to the 16th century.’ It’s a complete step in the wrong direction. Instead of aiding the separation of church and state, this enourages the educated ignorance of religion, and safeguards it’s practice.

Whilst it is said to be unlikely that anyone is every prosecuted for the offence of blaspheming, it undermines the laws of the country if there is even one law that exists that is seen as a ‘joke law’ that only exists to play lip service to our constitution. If we don’t believe the terms of our constitution, it should be paramount that it be altered, regardless of cost.

Every TD I emailed about my concerns replied saying that it would require a constitutional change which they were not currently prepared to make. If one law can be ignored, surely all other laws will suffer?

Ironically, the atheist associations fighting the law, Atheist Ireland and the Humanist Association of Ireland, are not protected under the new law, as Atheism is not a religion, but the lack of religion. So Justice Dermot Ahern calling the president of Atheist Ireland ‘A crackpot in an attic somewhere’ in court is not illegal, where as a perfectly true phrase such as ‘some priests are dirty horrid sexual perverts’ would be. For God’s sake, when will this be repealed?

Please let me know when you have gotten rid of this rubbish law, so I can get back to complaining about the fallacies of religion in public places.

Yours Sincerely, David Cody

‘24 hour’ study space Dear Sir, I am sure that most of you are aware of the unexplained closure of the 24 hour study space during the Christmas break. I am also sure that students are aware that this isn’t the first time the supposed 24 hour study has been off limits for students. Already students are struggling to cope with the reduction in both library hours and services, now we have all study facilities withdrawn during the winter break.

Since the start of the year the SU has fought hard to get the study space reinstated and for the improvement of Library facilities however win a month the study space is closed and full library services on a Friday now end at 6pm. Did the College even think to seek the opinion of the student body?

I’m sure that the college will rely on their well worn excuse of a lack of funding in these recessionary times. Has the college even considered that the recession has hit students just as hard? Several of my close friends have to already juggle a part time job with college and home responsibilities. For all these students the 24 was the saving grace since the library now closes at 10pm weekdays and is no longer open Sundays at all (giving Ireland’s best college the nation’s worst library hours).

This begs the question, why is Trinity College Dublin trying to restrict student learning?

Yours Sincerely, Darragh Haugh

I am from Ireland, but more importantly I am uncultured Sarah Walker

A

s I was channel surfing this weekend I had the misfortune to stumble across The All Ireland Talent Show, our rip-off of Britain’s Got Talent. The premise is much the same as its more popular counterpart, except in true Irish fashion, we’ve given it a twist.

Contestants from the South, West, East, North and Dublin (the newest addition to the modern compass apparently) are pitted against each other like some sort of bloody GAA tournament. And said contestants certainly have about as much grace and poise as a pack of savage men wielding wooden instruments. While I watched in horror at a man from Kerry, with one front tooth, aptly named “Johnny Bongos” play the spoons and beat a drum to some sort of African tribal song to rapturous applause from the audience, a thought struck me. Why is it that any Irish venture is so horrifically, well, unsexy?

In the past decade every single reality TV show or television series has been so toe-curlingly embarrassing to watch that I sit there in dumb shock. It’s like watching a very, very slow car crash. It’s addictive stuff, if only so afterwards I can heave a sigh of relief and think, “Well, thank god I’m not like that.” But what if I am? What if we all are? It’s so easy

to dismiss any sort of embarrassing activity on Irish television as terrible editing focusing on intellectually challenged people from the country.

But what if this slew of bilious broadcasting is actually the most honest representation of our population? If you think about it, almost every single export from our country, while famous, lauded and critically ac-

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scenes where the heroine meets a sexy man from the North who buys her a glass of champagne in Krystle and maybe, if she’s lucky, a lap-dance in Club Lapello? Non-existent. If she’s lucky, she gets a tumble in the hay with a guy who barely passed his junior cert but charms his way into her knickers because he’s Irish. I’ve been to those villages, and the only available men have been snapped up long ago and rightly imprisoned through pregnancy by the local slag. There is such a lack of original and truthful Irish television out there no wonder we have to steal everything from overseas. Or debase our country with yet another leprechaun joke in P.S I Love You. But the definitive example of the

In the past decade every single Irish reality TV show or television series has been so toe-curlingly embarrassing to watch that I sit there in dumb shock.

claimed, will never, ever be described as sexy. Our Irish models, while not bad looking in any way, are still seriously below par compared to the rest of the world. Even The Corrs, while no doubt beautiful, never got any temperatures rising with their tin whistle improvisations. They didn’t even have the courtesy to keep Jim out of the videos.

As I read a review for yet another “Hollywood star goes to Ireland and finds love” movie my heart sank.

While there’s no doubt that big budget films make the most of Ireland’s landscape and beauty, where are the

sheer irrelevance and unsexy nature of much of Irish culture can be found within the ‘hallowed’ pages of the Sunday Independent’s LIFE magazine. Never have I seen journalism stoop so low. If it’s not the obligatory orange half naked girl on the cover promising a tell-all interview on how she gets her underarm botox just right, it’s the level of absolute self-indulgence that every article possesses.

If I have to read one more line by Barry Egan rhapsodizing about the “ravenhaired beauty of Ireland’s ‘It-girl’ Glenda Gilson, clad in classic Paul Costelloe, sipping tea with the kind

of feline grace normally only found in the puma family” I will do damage to someone. These lauded Irish celebs and the magazine dedicated almost exclusively to them make my stomach turn. It’s not just because they’re so very unattractive, which a lot of them are, but because they really seem to believe that this is it, they’ve made it.

Once you’re on the cover of LIFE and have been “papped” by that photographer/cab driver Barry keeps on tab to make himself feel important, then you’ve reached the height of fame in Irish terms. Which is why that anyone with any discernable talent and pride has left this country long ago. On a side note, I would have expected so much better from Brendan O’Connor.

From Don’t Feed the Gondolas to Editor of LIFE magazine can only be the cruelest of descents. Somehow his idea of “sexing-up” what used to be respectable publication is flogging a dead celebrity. And that’s just Katy French.

Wikipedia is certainly on the mark when it describes him as a “former” comedian. Although any editor that allows the following excerpt to be published must have a semblance of a sense of humour.

“Amanda Brunker drops her chin, lifts her eyes, and smoulders for the camera. It’s a practised pose – slight pout, eyes wide, hair tousled, buoyant bosom, and she slips into it without coaxing or ceremony. The girl has had plenty of practice at working it for the camera, and that come-hither look she’s pulling has long been her trademark.”

A truly shocking newsworthy item at last…

Sarah Walker

11

The University Times | Wednesday, January 20th

TimesEDITORIAL

The University Times Yes THEY CAN C

ollege has returned after Christmas and New Year’s and this paper hopes that you had a well earned break. For some though, they spent their holiday planning for the next few weeks in college. They were not preparing for their exams or catching up on their notes but rather getting their war machines

ready for the upcoming Students’ Union elections.

This time every year those who have ambitions towards a sabbatical position manoeuvre for campaigners. They sit and speak of these campaigners as chattel that can be bought and sold as others drop out of the running and others join in. They ask each

other how many Facebook friends they have in order to try and glean a guesstimate of each other’s support. Not exactly a foolproof method for triangulating support.

The University Times notes that each year the campaigns seem to be getting more professional as candidates try to outdo each other for the jobs. However, it

seems this year we will have three uncontested races which seems strange when we consider the excellent experience gained as a student representative. Perhaps we will see more candidates This paper is looking forward to the campaign and although we have provided you with the rumours of who is running no

one will know until the Education Officer reads out all the names of the candidates on the steps No 6.

When that is done we will know that five of those names will appear in these pages as victorious.

We wish everyone well and look forward to seeing whoever will be taking over here next year at The University Times.

Head to Head Embryonic stem cell research “Even the early embryo has realized some “Science, of course, does of its potential by dividing into two cells, not state that human life four cells, eight cells, etc.” begins at conception.”

C

onf r ont e d with the choice between preserving the life of an in vitro embryo (an embryo created in a laboratory) and finding a cure for illnesses such as Parkinson’s Disease through embryonic stem cell research, many people will support the research. I suspect that at least part of the explanation for such a choice lies in the fact that we readily identify with sufferers of serious illnesses while it is impossible to feel any empathy for in vitro embryos. However it is very dangerous to base the right to life on one’s ability to empathise with the holder of this right, given that history is replete with examples of where people fail to empathise with their fellow humans, and once we go beyond empathy to consider the arguments defending the deliberate killing of embryos in embryonic stem cell research, it is clear that permitting such research requires us to pay a very heavy price indeed in terms of how we value individual life.

There are two ways in which one might defend embryonic stem cell research.

First, one could argue that it is morally acceptable to destroy individual life wherever that results in a benefit to a greater number of people.

However this means that we would no longer have to treat an individual as an end in herself but rather could treat her as a means to an end (e.g. finding a cure for serious illness). Such a utilitarian approach to the protection of life would mark a major change in our current policy and values in this area where the taking of life is permitted only where that life threatens the life of another. Moreover this utilitarian approach denies the radical equality of each individual, instead, in the present context, dividing individuals into those whose lives may be expended in the interest of others and those who benefit from the deliberate killing of others.

For those reasons, many defenders of embryonic stem cell research do not rely on this utilitarian argument and instead argue that the moral status of the embryo differs from that of life at later

stages of development, thereby seeking to preserve the application of the principle that we should treat each individual as an end in herself but excluding the embryo from the class of individual protected by this principle. A number of arguments are advanced in support of this distinction between the embryo and life at later stages but, in my opinion, they are all problematic as I shall demonstrate presently. However an interesting preliminary point to note about these arguments is the fact that there are so many of them. In my opinion, this reflects the inherent weakness in each argument for if there was one convincing argument here, it would surely sweep all before it, rendering all of the others superfluous.

In 2005, a majority of the Commission on Assisted Human Reproduction recommended that an in vitro embryo should not attract legal protection until placed in the human body, at which stage it should attract the same level of protection as the embryo formed through sexual intercourse. However this argument is problematic because, if in the future we develop technology to keep in vitro embryos alive outside the body for longer than is currently possible, the logic of the majority position is that one could grow embryos and foetuses to a point where, for example, they could become a source of human organs for transplant even where such harvesting results in their death, a prospect that many people would regard as appalling.

Next, it is argued that the moral status of the embryo differs from that of life at later stages because many embryos do not implant in the womb and consequently perish. The argument that this fact justifies destroying the embryo is a naturalistic fallacy and, as such, unpersuasive. No one would suggest that a society with a high infant mortality rate for children under the age of twelve months should be permitted to kill any child under that age. By the same token, I do not see how the fact that many embryos fail to develop successfully in nature

can justify the deliberate destruction of an embryo.

Third, it is argued that, prior to implantation, it is possible for an embryo to divide into identical twin embryos and that legal protection should only apply to an embryo once we are certain that it is an individual, in other words, after implantation.

However monozygotic twinning accounts for only 0.4% of all births and so we know that the vast majority of embryos are individuated, yet we are invited to frame a principle governing all embryos by reference to the very exceptional case of twinning.

When it comes to responsibility for one’s acts, the law deals with probabilities, not possibilities and certainly not remote possibilities, and it is fanciful in the extreme to argue that, in destroying an embryo, one was not destroy-

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It is clear that permitting such research requires us to pay a very heavy price in terms of how we value individual life. ing an individuated embryo because of the possibility that the embryo in question might have developed into twins. Moreover, the process of twinning supports the view that crucial dimensions of individuation are already at work prior to implantation as twinning is not a random process but rather a compensatory repair triggered by a mechanical or biochemical disturbance of fragile cell relationships that threatens the embryo. Furthermore, if I oppose the destruction of an embryo because this prevents the development of a unique, irreplaceable individual, I can hardly condone destruction of the embryo where this may prevent the development of two or more such individuals. Indeed, the

possibility that destruction of the embryo may deprive us of the unique contribution that two or more individuals may make to human experience strengthens, rather than undermines, my view that legal protection should apply to the embryo once fertilisation is complete.

Fourth, it is argued that legal protection should apply to the embryo only after brain activity has commenced (normally about 14 days after fertilization). This argument would appear to be based on the analogy with death, where cessation of brain function is taken as conclusive evidence that an individual has died. The analogy, however, is a false one. In the case of death, the absence of brain function is irreversible and will never resume. This is patently not so in the case of the embryo where we know that, if we wait long enough, brain activity will commence and so the start of brain function does not appear to be a significant moral marker for the purposes of this debate.

Penultimately, it is suggested that legal protection should apply to ‘personhood’ rather than simple biological life. My difficulty with this is that ‘personhood’ is too imprecise a concept to afford adequate protection for human life. Consider, for example, the following “indicators of humanhood” compiled by Joseph Fletcher - self-awareness, self-control, a sense of the future, a sense of the past, the capacity to relate to others, concern for others, communication and curiosity. On the face of it, people with, for example, advanced Alzheimer’s Disease would not appear to satisfy all of these indicia of “humanhood” and so, on this approach, would not enjoy legal protection for their right to life. And yet if one understates or dilutes the indicia of personhood, the concept could logically include all sentient beings, including animals.

Finally, it is sometimes argued that the in vitro embryo only constitutes potential life as, unless it is implanted, it will not develop and, if it is going to die anyway, we may as well put it to good use through embryonic stem cell research. This argument is

also problematic. In the first place, I doubt that it is possible to distinguish between life and potential life. Even the early embryo has realized some of its potential by dividing into two cells, four cells, eight cells, etc. (Its gender, incidentally, is already determined at this time even if that cannot be discerned by an observer.) In terms of this argument, it is more accurate to say, with reference to the in vitro embryo, that the ongoing process of realizing potential is interrupted. However it is not at all clear to me why the fact that we are now capable of putting individual life into suspended animation (at present only possible in relation to the embryo) should affect the moral status of that life so as to permit us to destroy it for the benefit of others.

In conclusion, I consider that legal protection for the embryo should commence once the process of fertilization is complete because at that point we now have in place, for the first time, human life, already male or female, with a genetic programme that, in an appropriate environment, will develop as a unique life with a unique, ever developing relationship with the rest of humanity. As I have sought to demonstrate, the various attempts to differentiate the moral status of the embryo from that of life at later stages are all problematic with the result that, if we permit embryonic stem cell research, we fatally undermine the principle that each individual should be treated as an end in herself rather than as a means to an end. Thus, while I am as anxious as anyone else that cures are found for serious illness, I am opposed to embryonic stem cell research because, in the absence of a convincing argument that differentiates the moral status of the embryo from that of life at later stages of development, such research ultimately denies the radical equality of each individual.

Prof. Gerry Whyte Prof. Whyte is an Associate Proffessor of Law and the college’s Dean of Students

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esearch using human embryonic stem (ES) cell lines is urgently required in Ireland to help understand why certain diseases occur and to help in the discovery of new treatment for patients with chronic debilitating diseases.

Enormous advances in health care have been made during the previous 30 years, especially in the areas of cardiovascular and cancer diseases. Subsequently, we have witnessed rapid extensions of life span to approximately 80 years for women and 78 years for men.

On the flip side, epidemic occurrences in diabetes and neurodegenerative disorders have emerged and their exponential rise has huge implications for quality of life in patients and their families, as well as for society in terms of socioeconomic burden.

There are many drugs in clinical trials at present, however, health care systems and drug companies around the world are devoid of novel agents that reverse prevalent disorders like Alzheimer’s disease, Parkinson’s disease and Multiple Sclerosis.

Fundamentally, this is because we still do not fully understand the molecular and molecular mechanisms that underlie these widely prevalent diseases.

It is only through increasing our knowledge of how neurons in the brain develop and respond to environmental challenges will we be begin to prevent and reverse such devastating conditions in patients.

Embryonic stem cells have enormous potential as we use them to help understand how biochemical mechanisms control neurodegeneration and how damage in the brain may be prevented and reversed.

Of course, there are serious ethics to consider when doing such research and many countries have developed an ethics-infrastructure to deal with the associated issues.

However, at present, there is no constitutional legislation in Ireland that deals with scientists or medics using human ES cells for research purposes. Such legislation is

urgently required.

The main issue surrounding research with human ES cells is that the process of extracting these cells from an early-stage embryo or blastocyst results in loss of viability of the blastocyst. Advocates against such research argue that science tells us life begins at conception and that destruction of a 2 week-old blastocyst is wanton termination of life.

Science, of course, does not state that human life begins at conception. It states simply, that when single egg and sperm cells fuse together, new genetic material is created. No more, no less.

The new DNA has the potential to control development of the fused cell into a blastocyst, embryo and human, however, this process will not happen unless the embryo implants in the womb.

The Supreme Court of Ire-

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A 2 week old embryo that is left under liquid nitrogen storage is not the same as a 7 year old girl with leukaemia.

land recognised this fact last December and effectively ruled that embryos created outside the person during in vitro fertilisation (IVF) are not humans and are not protected under the Irish constitution.

Therefore, it follows that researchers who wish to use IVF-generated embryos, that have been discarded following successful IVF treatment, for generation of human ES cells should be allowed do so.

An argument often presented against using human ES cells for research is that adult stem cells are better and research has shown that a limited number of diseases can be effectively treated with such cells.

It is wonderful, after years of research, that some blood

born leukaemia diseases, can be treated using adult stem cells, however, the majority of current scientific opinion is that ES cells have much more research and therapeutic potential than adult stem cells.

Many scientists, myself included, would prefer to avoid working with human ES cells due to the ethical confrontations that exist. But when it comes down to a choice between not destroying a tiny mass of approximately 200 cells or helping a fully grown human with chronic disease, I choose the latter.

A 2 week old embryo that is left under liquid nitrogen storage is not the same as a 7 year old girl with leukaemia nor a 32 year old woman with multiple sclerosis nor a 55 year old man with Parkinson’s disease.

All of these patients deserve as much help as possible from society and ES cells that are known scientifically to have a much better potential than adult stem cells are a possible means to achieve this goal.

Important knowledge of cellular mechanisms involved in human diseases has been discovered using ES cells. This research is also directly responsible for the exciting new discovery that human skin cells can be reprogrammed to become very similar to embryonic stem cells.

These cells are called induced pluripotent stem (iPS) cells and a massive worldwide focus on their use in drug screening and potential use in transplantation therapies has begun. This development is proceeding in tandem with human ES cell research.

It remains to be seen if stem cell research can cure the above diseases however the successes that have already been achieved suggest that this kind of research should be pursued.

It is vital that Ireland is part of this development and that Irish patients reap the full benefit of such research.

Dr Gavin Davey Dr Davey is a Senior Lecturer in the Institute of Neuroscience

12

Wednesday, January 20th | The University Times

TimesOPINION

The top ten reasons why Ireland is in the state it’s in Cónán Ó Broin 1. A complete lack of ability to plan into the long term Folks, there is just no escaping it. As a society, an economy and a state, we couldn’t plan our way out of something if our lives depended on it. Want the proof? Every economist worth their salt knows that any small economy is only successful because the government focus resources on developing a small number of high value-added industries. Think financial services in Luxembourg and Switzerland, engineering in Sweden and Norway, communications technology in Finland. It was the decision of American multinational corporations in the I.T. and pharmaceutical sectors which kicked off the Celtic Tiger in the mid 90’s by driving an export led boom. The country was awash with money and the government coffers were bulging. And what did we do with these resources? Did we invest it in something sustainable (both environmentally and economically) like renewable energy technology and research? Did we set our sights on developing indigenous Irish industry in even one high tech sector? No and no. What did we do with our money? Yes, that’s right, we built houses, hotels and apartment blocks. Everywhere.

We gave huge tax breaks to anyone who wanted to build, well – just about anything (remember Section 23 and the ‘stamp duty saga’?), and we spent huge resources in both money and man power training thousands of our young men as tradespeople, many of whom are now doomed to emigration. After the inevitable and long foreseen crash, we now have a hotel sector which is insolvent, emigration rates rocketing, a near bankrupt government, a banking sector on its knees, and the worst recession in 80 years. Some plan it turned out to be.

2. A political elite of extremely poor quality I’m not going to pull any punches here.

Our politicians, from every party, are not as capable as their counterparts in the rest of western Europe. With some honourable exceptions, I have personally been shocked by the capabilities of some of the TDs and Ministers whom I’ve dealt with over the last few months.

Political scientists point the finger at the electoral system and there would

seem to be some substance to this. Ireland shares the PR-STV electoral system with one other country in the world: Malta. It reinforces parochialism and parish pump politics, and leads to individuals being elected to positions of power not because of their ability to run a good public service or to lead a country, but because of their ability to attend more funerals, sports matches and social events than their opponents. It leads to the Dáil often being more like a unruly lock-in in a country pub than the national parliament. Let’s put it more bluntly than that: Jackie Healy Rae TD and Mattie McGrath TD (the latter opposed the lowering of alcohol limits for drivers) make the laws that we live under and influence the direction of the country. Enough said. The electoral system needs to be changed.

3. The cosy relationships between businessmen, politicians and trade unions I know that the recent budget has made this a bit of a moot point, but nonetheless, anyone who has read Fintan O’Toole’s “Ship of Fools”, will know just how incestuous the political and business classes in this country are. Hence the complete unwillingness and inability of the political elite to put the brakes on the property bubble (or any other commercial activity which gets out of control) even though that is exactly their job. Similarly, the Trade Unions were not calling for a halt to the property madness and for a more sustainable development model as long as the wages stayed high and the government’s benchmarking scheme was still in effect. By buying elections through wage increases, allowing the property bubble to inflate and lowering taxes all around, everybody was winning. Business got profits, unions got wages and the government got votes. That was until reality caught up with everybody.

4. Parochialism Ireland is a small country. Very, very small. Sometimes we forget this, so for the record we have approximately seven thousandth’s of one percent of the world’s population. And despite our size, we have an incredible ability to fight and squabble amongst ourselves over, again, just about anything. During the boom, I

cannot count the amount of news clips I saw of people insisting that “there is no Celtic Tiger down here in County X” or TD’s campaigning that they would “bring jobs and roads to County X”. Understandably enough given the electoral system, no TD ever runs on “bringing jobs and sustainable development to the Irish people”. We have suffered with the parochial, small minded mindset for long enough and have allowed politicians to capitalise on that parochialism for just as long. Time we broadened our minds a bit and think of what is in the interests of the Irish nation as a whole. After all, Ireland is still a very small place.

5. Alcohol A strange one I hear you say. Well let’s face the facts. According to research in June 2009, Ireland has 250,000 alcoholics. I would suspect that the true figure is in fact higher. Anecdotally, I have never met an Irish person who does not have an alcoholic relative. I also know of at least five senior government figures who are raging alcoholics (yes, the same people who brought the country to the state it is in) and know of one in particular who only got their very senior post because they hung around to drink with the rest in the Dáil bar until the early hours. (For some reason, the word “Kazakhstan” and the image of a ‘bottle of vodka wielding President’ come into my mind every time I think of that scene).

The same research stated that the direct cost of alcohol is €960 million and

“

I also know of at least five senior government figures who are raging alcoholics.

the indirect cost to the country is several multiples of this figure. But enough of the statistics, the reality is that there are countless people in this country whose personal, emotional and intellectual development is being seriously hindered by their addiction to a devastating drug.

I know it’s great craic, I know the banter is just brilliant when you’re in the middle of it. But everybody knows deep down that alcohol destroys lives, it’s just nobody likes admitting it. How many more car crashes, drownings, accidents, suicides, murders, rapes, divorces, broken families and destroyed lives is it going to take before we say enough is enough?

6. Begrudgery Americans don’t do begrudgery. Any Irish person who has ever lived in America will tell you this. If you are successful in any way in America, show some initiative or come up with a good idea, you are to be congratulated and encouraged. Not so in Ireland, where the opposite is the case. The result is that people in Ireland are discouraged from being different, being successful or being ambitious. New ideas, new solutions and new ways of thinking are few and far between. And in the absence of new ideas, we come up with the same old solutions, from the same old people, to the same old problems and end up making the very same old mistakes.

7. Lack of Entrepreneurship This is closely related to number 6.

When young Irish people can’t get a job at home, we only ever have one real solution: Emigration. We are losing some of our best people to emigration right now (including many graduates of Trinity).

Why is emigration the only solution? Research has repeatedly shown that Irish people are unusually reluctant to set up their own business. It is very rare to hear of an entrepreneur under the age of 25 in Ireland, but not at all unusual in other parts of the developed world. Why is this? I believe that it is to do with our culture, and in particular the culture of ‘ Keep the head down or it will be hammered down’. Whatever the cause, we have got to lose this quiet jealousy which seems to envelop our people whenever somebody is successful. As long as they aren’t doing anything illegal or morally wrong, let’s encourage successful people, and not begrudge them their success.

8. Powerful Special Interest Groups (Farmers& Builders) Two words: Tom Parlon. This guy absolutely cracks me up, but I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. In no other industrialised country would he be given the time of day. The former head of the Irish Farmers Association (Big Farmers), former PD Junior Minister (Government) and current head of the Construction Industry Federation (Big Developers) now wants the government to – get this – invest in the construction industry. What is worse is that he seems to be taken semi-seriously. Like I said, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

The IFA is probably the strongest interest group in this country (with Fine Gael and every rural TD in their pocket), to the extent that they somehow manage to get away with defending as ‘sustainable’ a sector which receives 80% of its income from taxpayers. German ones that is. I am sorry to have to explode

the apparent myth, but farming in this country is not sustainable without enormous state hand outs. Why not? Because food can be produced in Africa or South America at a hundredth of the price that it can here. Compare those handouts to the plight of, for example, the Waterford Crystal employees who took pay cut after pay cut in an effort to save their jobs, but in the end lost their jobs to workers in the Czech Republic and Malaysia.

Two groups of people in a tough, competitive world, and both groups should be sympathised with. One group lost their livelihoods, the other continue to get government hand outs. Just like construction, we are putting the country’s resources, in terms of land, labour and capital, into farming rather than a more sustainable sector. Any ordinary person would think this foolish. But not so according to Tom Parlon and the IFA. He seems to be the epitome of everything that is wrong with public life in this country.

9. Excessive Individualism & Apathy Excessive individualism doesn’t mean people being too different from each other. Far from it. I’m talking about people not caring about anything else other than Number 1.

To be sure, everybody needs to look after themselves. But have you ever heard the phrase “Sure I couldn’t give a fuck, what is it to me?” I can’t count the amount of times I hear it in the course of a day. It was given expression in the incredibly light and muted reaction the public had to revelations of corruption among senior government figures over the last decade. The truth is that, as a

society, we didn’t care who was corrupt and who wasn’t, as long as we were kept in the style to which we had become accustomed. What we fail to recognise is that if everybody adopts this kind of ‘excessive individualism’, then everybody loses. We have the lowest overall tax regime in Europe, so when public money (which could be used for schools, hospitals and keeping sick children alive) is misspent, stolen, wasted or lost we do nothing. We need to care more about what is being done with our own money and the way the country over which we the people are sovereign is being governed. Otherwise, things are not going to change around here.

10. Civil Servants I’m not having a go at teachers, nurses, guards, soldiers or frontline workers. I am talking about departmental officials.

These are people who are supposed to ‘guide’ Ministers and the state more generally over a longer period of time than a typical 5 year electoral cycle. If we really do want to plan into the long term, then there has got to be a radical shake up of the public service. I know of one section in a department where the staff do “nothing from one end of the week to the other”, to quote a staff member. While direction has to be given from the top, the Civil Servants need to stand up and be brave enough to allow reform to come through so that we can begin to develop a long term vision for Ireland and its place in the world.

I am already sick of losing my friends to emigration. I don’t want to lose any more.

Where was the world when Haiti needed it?

Anna Cosgrave International aid organizations and governments around the world are mobilising massive relief efforts to help victims of Haiti’s earthquake but much of the devastation to befall Haiti is best understood as another predominantly manmade outcome of a long and ugly historical sequence.

How easy it has been forgotten that the source of much of Europe’s wealth, particularly that of France, emanated from the Sugar Plantations of Haiti manned by uncounted slaves. Forgotten also, indeed banished from mainstream history is, how in 1791, these slaves rose in revolt and repelled invasions by a series of British, Spanish and Napoleonic armies to create Haiti, the first, though short-lived, independent black republic outside Africa.

Haiti’s sorry history continued with United States occupation and later a

brutal military dictatorship totally subservient to its nearby collosus. When it finally had a reasonably free election, the winner, Aristride, was not acceptable to the US and was deposed. Is it any wonder that Haiti is a relentless victim of never ending debt servitude to the International Monetary Fund and foreign banks, labor exploitation, and US “aid” policies that stunt Haiti’s farm and manufacturing growth?

When “Aid” is accompanied by “Free Trade” it is a subsidy to US farmers and condemns Haitians farmers to destitution forcing them to relocate en masse to the poorly built slums in order to become fodder for yet more “Aid” in multinational sweatshops. Earthquakes are, of course, random destructive events, which are relatively unpredictable. The consequences, however, are entirely predictable.

The comparison of the impact of natural disasters in industrialized countries compared with developing countries mirror the same vulnerabilities and inequalities that are both the result and cause of unequal global development.

World Bank Figures show that between 1990 and 2000, natural disasters resulted in damages constituting between 2 percent and 15 percent of an affected country’s annual GDP with the poorer countries suffering the most. The funny thing with Haiti is that the noble “international community” which is currently scrambling to send its “humanitarian aid” is largely responsible for the extent of the suffering it now aims to reduce.

Earthquakes as said are random events. How many people they kill are undetermined and as much as we would like to blame tectonics for the astronomical death toll in Haiti, we can’t. We must turn the blame not entirely to nature but to those who have left the country in a place that leaves it more vulnerable to the aftermath of a natural disaster.

Compare the even greater Kobe earthquake of 1995 (Japan) with this week’s.

5,000 deaths as opposed to 100,000, While natural disasters per se cannot

be averted, democratic governance can mitigate many of their consequences, such as famine and disease outbreaks, which are less prevalent in countries, like Haiti. The most vulnerable populations tend to be the most marginalized (due to a lack of access to information, to pre- and post-disaster protection, and to sustainable agricultural options) which, in developing countries like Haiti, tend to be women and children. This deepens the impact of natural disasters by disproportionately harming the most vital population for long-term development: women, and unfortunately, socio-economic development is itself a prerequisite for escaping the disaster-recovery cycle pervasive.

Yes Haiti’s corrupt rulers and government officials get the standard blame for the country’s chronic poverty, woeful infrastructure and bankruptcy. But also take a take a look at its history.

A colossal earthquake brought the world to Haiti’s doorstep. The questions, though, are why did it take that? And what will it take for the world to stick around after the rubble is cleared and help transform Haiti into the democratic, self-supporting nation it can be?

Big budget

A new dawn

Eoin Rafferty examines the rise and rise of the Hollywood blockbuster

Yan Bourke looks at what’s to come in the Irish music scene over the next decade

Film page 16

Music page 19

The University Times January 20th, 2010

Arts & Culture

I want it all Sometimes fame, fortune and millions of adoring fans just isn’t enough. Katherine Reidy investigates the trend of celebrities releasing their own clothing lines.

I

t would seem that today’s celebrities are more brimming with talent than ever before. The likes of Shirley Temple and Gene Kelly could sing, dance and act, sure, but they didn’t have their own fragrances – or clothing lines. Is it an insatiable craving for power and money then that drives these people or do they genuinely believe they have what it takes to be the next Coco Chanel or Tom Ford?

As if winning a Grammy and essentially conquering the musical universe this year with the album Only by Night wasn’t quite enough for the band, Kings of Leon have recently launched their own clothing line. Together with Paris-based creative collective, ‘Surface to Air’, they’ve designed a limited collection of menswear and christened it ‘S2A X KOL’. Originally the collection was exclusive to the Dani s h store ‘Paris Texas’ , but it will be available in the UK in ‘The Shop’ at King’s Road, Chelsea, London and in select stores

across the US later this month.

As a whole, the line is pretty up-todate and wearable. The twelve piece collection consists of flannel shirts in mostly red and green, t-shirts, a leather jacket, patchwork drain-pipe jeans, a black fedora, boots, a woven belt, a scarf, guitar straps and a red bandana (because everyone needs one of those!). The shirts and denim aren’t half bad and reflect well the band’s cool, chilled Americana look.

However, take a closer look at the price tag and you may feel rather nauseous or, indeed, inclined to walk away.

Unless you’re fortunate enough to have particularly generous parents or an exceptionally large bank account, chances are you won’t be dying to throw away €120 on a flannel shirt or €130 on a scarf any time soon. Yet these are the hefty sums that are expected to lure us in.

Maybe the stomach-churning figures could be justified if the pieces were made of cashmere or silk, but alas, they’re not. Essentially, one could find almost identical shirts and jeans in Topman or River Island for only a fraction of the price.

Arguably, brands such as Ralph Lauren and Tommy Hilfiger charge similar prices and though I’m not in a position to compare the quality of their clothing to the quality of S2A X KOL, I think it’s fair to say that a fairly large chunk of what we’re paying is for the name rather than the product itself. Applying that hypothesis to the current situation would lead us to conclude that what we’re really paying for is not the shirt or the scarf, rather a little label with the letters ‘KOL’ on it.

A twelve year old might be forgiven for yearning for a ‘Stuff

by Duff’ top, a range by Disney Channel star, Hilary Duff, purely for the fact that it has a connection to the tween idol, but trying to

imagine anyone over the age of sixteen wanting to pay €800 for a leather jacket designed by their favourite artist is just a little bit perturbing I think.

Not that I have anything against the band, in fact I’m probably guilty of overplaying ‘Sex on Fire’ and ‘Use Somebody’ to an annoying extent, but just because they make some pretty sweet music doesn’t automatically make them budding fashion designers. If the likes of Giorgio Armani or Vivienne Westwood were to suddenly announce that they were going to pursue careers in music, there would be many-a brow raised. Not only that, there would be absolute pandemonium from the many millions of self-declared avid music fans out there.

This can be seen by the fact that wearing a band t-shirt in the company of music junkies tends to attract such questions as ‘Do you even know any of their songs?’, ‘Do you know anything about them?’, ‘When’s the last time you listened to their album?’ and my personal favourite, ‘You shouldn’t wear it just for the sake of wearing it or because it looks nice. It’s about the music, not the shirt.’

No matter, the celebrities of today continue on their bold adventures into the world of fashion design.

I suppose in attempting to fathom what exactly it is that motivates these stars to go forth and create their own lines, one can look to Liam Gallagher of Oasis who started his own collection, ‘Pretty Green’, in 2005, for guidance: ‘Clothes and music are my passion.

I’m not doing it to rip anyone off and I’m not doing it for the money either. I’m doing it ‘cause there’s a lack of stuff out

“

Anyone over the age of sixteen wanting to pay €800 for a leather jacket designed by their favourite artist is just a perturbing thought.

Artist such as Kings of Leon (above) and Liam Gallagher (right) have released their own clothing lines. Bono’s Edun range is modelled below-left.

there of the things I would wear.’

Apparently there’s a lack of plain tshirts and oddly shaped trench-like coats. It would also appear that £50 sterling for one of these t-shirts is not ripping anyone off, especially not when you could go to somewhere like Pennys and get an almost identical tee for about €5.

Could it be that Caleb, Jared, Nathan and Matthew were merely responding to a dearth of flannel shirts and jeans by creating S2A X KOL? As much as one may wish to answer in the affirmative, the wide availability of these types of garments across the globe is irrefutable.

Furthermore, if they were responding to an emergency crisis, they would not even consider charging nearly €100 for a black belt!

Bono and Ali Hewson deserve a mention too. They, with the help of the denim label ‘Rogan’ embarked on the project that is ‘Edun’, a line of men and women’s wear made entirely from organic materials. This line is pretty laid-back and casual. Granted that materials such as organic cotton are used and that it aims to promote a sustainable social alternative in cotton producing countries, it’s still quite pricey.

If celebrities are so uninterested in making money, why then is Edun a profit-making company? Why doesn’t all the money go back into the communities which are being helped? Or better still, why don’t they lower the prices, thus encouraging more people to buy organic cotton which would in turn help

these communities even more? Just a thought...

There are countless others who have ventured on similar quests for world domination. In 1998 Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs launched the ‘Sean John’ line and the following year, Jay-Z created ‘Rocawear’. Soon after ‘William Rast’ was founded by Justin Timberlake and childhood friend Trace Ayala. Then there are the more infamous singer/actor-turned-designers too, such as Gwen Stefani, Victoria Beckham and Jennifer Lopez.

I think it’s somewhat incontrovertible that there must be some element of

Southern fried chicken for the soul Sarah Elsbeth Compton samples the best fried chicken Memphis has to offer and discovers we’ve been doing it wrong here in Ireland.

When in the American South, one must eat fried chicken. This is not negotiable; it is as much a part of the culture as the famed Southern hospitality, serving almost anything in Jello, and Nascar. While Southerners are fond of frying pretty much anything that is edible (pickles, tomatoes, whole turkeys, steak) chicken is the most delicious, and I’m certain that many families have been split in two by vicious feuds about whether it is best to cook it in lard or bacon grease, for how long and what sort of weather it is best to eat it in. When faced with 4 weeks in Memphis, Tennessee, I was presented with the perfect opportunity for searching out the perfect

specimen of Southern fried chicken.

I took a trip out to the endearingly punctuated restaurant “Gus’s” in the woods of the Memphis suburb town Collierville. This town specialises in ‘southern fried’ chicken, so I was hoping to have a truly authentic fried chicken experience. GQ magazine voted this place one of the top 5 restaurants in the USA worth flying to for a meal. If any place should know how to do southern fried chicken the right way, it must be Gus’s.

From the moment I stepped into the hallway of the restaurant, formerly a home, I knew I was going to have an unforgettable culinary experience.

I gazed around at the tasteful chicken

themed art adorning the walls and realised the love and passion behind the meal I was about to have.

Ireland is doing it completely wrong.

Fried chicken is not just a greasy guilty pleasure fit only for 3am post-nightclub hunger pains; it certainly does not deserve to be dumped in a cardboard box along with fat smeared chips. I discovered in Tennessee that when given the respect is deserves, fried chicken can be something truly marvellous. In the South, it is usually paired with brown sugar infused baked beans, coleslaw, and iced tea and I have come to believe that this is the perfect combination for the ultimate in comfort eating.

True Southern fried chicken, such as the type found in Gus’s, is not as heavily battered as the type found in chippers, and is soaked in buttermilk and then slow cooked in a pan to seal in moisture then coated in spiced flour for deep frying. The resulting chicken has a delightfully crunchy exterior coating and the meat within pulls off the bone in satisfying stringy (trust me here, this is a good thing!) pieces: “Good eatin’” as we say down South.

When in Tennessee, do as the Southerners do and get yourself a deep fried hunk of chicken, smother it in gravy like the locals if you dare, and wash it down with some freshly brewed ‘sweet tea’.

And remember, fried chicken is a life choice, not just a guilty secret.

Sarah Elsbeth Compton

greed in these audacious undertakings.

If not, there would be no need for the celebrity lines to be so absurdly expensive. Furthermore, surely power is an integral part of it. Not necessarily power in the sense of control, rather some kind of need to create bigger and greater empires than those of their peers. Of course, I’ll never be able to get inside the minds of any of the Followills or Liam Gallagher or any other celebrity at that, so my musings are as good as the next person’s I guess!

Katherine Reidy

14

Wednesday, January 20th | The University Times

TimesArts&CULTURE

Do they know it’s Fringemas time?

The University Times takes a look back at the highlights of the Trinity Fringe Festival: a week that saw international acts play side by side with college talent

I

t’s becoming increasingly difficult to define what is “fringe.” The term was first used in 1948 by Scottish playwright Robert Kemp to describe the unofficial theatre companies that performed at the same time as the Edinburgh International Festival which showed “more private enterprise than before.”

Since then, fringe theatre companies, events and festivals have come to symbolise all that is alternative in the Arts. But with these festivals pulling huge crowds, and their international acts proving sell-outs, it’s hard to claim that fringe festivals are truly ‘alternative.’ Instead, fringe festivals seem to have gone the way of indie cinema – providing an independent aesthetic and ballsy spirit in tandem with big business. Perhaps it was this mission statement of quality Arts provided for mass audiences that inspired Robert Kearns and Ciaran Clarke to set up the Trinity

Fringe Festival in February 2009. Having worked at the Edinburgh Fringe the previous year, Kearns, then Chair of DU Comedy, spotted an opportunity for more alternative acts in the Trinity Arts calendar. He approached Clarke, then Chair of DU Players, with his idea and the two established the Trinity Fringe Festival. The venture proved a success.

This year saw DU Comedy and DU Players collaborate once again, hosting a week-long line-up of comedic, musical and theatrical delights. The big coup of the festival was, of course, Florence and the Machine. On the afternoon of Monday the 7th of December, the luminous Ms. Welch played a short but very special set in Trinity chapel. A lucky 300 students were treated to acoustic renditions of ‘You’ve Got the Love’ and ‘Cosmic Love’, many of whom had queued since the early hours of the morning for the privilege. The University Times spoke to one student who had gotten a train

from Limerick at 7 that morning to ensure herself a ticket. It was fair to say that the Fringe had gotten off to a highly anticipated start.

The rest of the week saw plays, comedy, music and, er, a hypnotist. Supporting and mentoring Trinity talent had been a key aim of the Fringe festival and this year gave an opportunity for talented acts to showcase themselves. Players Theatre was host to two plays on every day of the festival: ‘The Shaman’, a new play written and directed by Fergus Rattigan and ‘Teechers’, a play by John Godbert directed by Dean Rodgers. The college music scene was more than aptly represented by Jane Deasy, Ellen Quinn and Ruth O’ Mahony-Brady, while the Printing House and the Hist conversation room played host to Giraffes, Cloud Castle Lake and Killer Chloe.

However, my personal highlight of the college talent on offer was Friday’s billing of Conor O’Toole with support

from Stephen O’Connell (with Keytar interludes from Comedy Soc chair Ben Clifford). Conor, or ‘Timmy’ as he is often erroneously called, presents surrealist, acutely observed comic situations that had his unexpecting audience giggling their way to their afternoon lectures. As for his support, it was Stephen O’Connell’s debut gig – but nonetheless he impressed. His nervous awkward onstage persona worked well with content about losing his virginity and his relationship with his parents.

The Fringe offered a refreshing opportunity to both establish rising Trinity talent and present international-quality acts – Florence and the Machine, Ardal O’Hanlan and Frisky and Mannish.

With the Fringe over for another year, Trinity Arts Festival will be cleansing our palates in the meantime. We await to see what’s coming up.

Florence Welch accepting the Spirit of the Fringe award in the College Chapel.

Emma Keaveney

Florence and the Machine Dead Cat Bounce returns to the Players Theatre open the Fringe Festival Marking the beginning of the Trinity Fringe Festival was an appearance by 2009 Mercury Prize Nominee, Florence and the Machine. Playing to a packedout chapel, frontwoman Florence Welch and her Machine - consisting of just a harpist and acoustic guitarist on this occasion - kicked things off in style. Welcomed enthusiastically by the crowd of students sitting in the pews, Florence accepted the Spirit of the Fringe award, said a brief thank you, and got going with the music.

Beginning with the latest single, “You’ve Got the Love”, the band both looked and sounded great. With the harp on one side and the guitar on the other, Florence stood at the centre of the altar/stage, dressed all in black besides her vibrant dyed-red hair, with the chapel’s huge stained glass windows providing the backdrop. The strippeddown, acoustic rendition of the song fitted the atmosphere perfectly, and was greeted by a reverential silence from the crowd, which, combined with the impressive acoustics of the chapel and the natural strength of her voice, made the mic Florence sang into seem entirely unnecessary.

“You’ve Got the Love” was followed by “Cosmic Love”, which was equally

impressive and well received by the audience. However once the applause for this second song died down, and it felt like things were just warming up, Florence said another quick thank you before hastily leaving the stage. Though presumably left wanting, and probably expecting, more, the audience gave another enthusiastic round of applause as Florence half-walked, half-skipped, down the aisle (off to who-knows-where before her gig in the Olympia later that night).

Despite the quality of the artist’s performance, overall it was difficult not to feel slightly disappointed by the event due solely to its extreme brevity. While a full set would have understandably been too much to ask, two or three songs more, and maybe a short address to the audience, would have been most welcome. That said, the appearance of an act of such high calibre and renown at the Fringe Fest was extremely impressive, and considering it was entirely free (besides the time spent queuing in order to be guaranteed a ticket – hours in the case of many) it was genuinely extraordinary.

Conor Sneyd

Dead Cat Bounce. From left to right: Shane O’Brien, Damian Fox, James Walmsley, Mick Cullinan.

Photo: Luzy Nuzum The term “Dead Cat Bounce” was coined back in the 1980s when a high-flying Gordan Gekko-like stockbroker used it to describe a bounce up in falling shares- “even a dead cat will bounce if it falls from a great height”. The name was adopted by this musical comedy group following a sketch involving four stockbrokers and a dead prostitute. However, for all who witnessed the hilarities of Dead Cat Bounce in Player’s Theatre on Monday night, it was apparent there was

nothing bereft of life in their performance.

The four members met while in Trinity College Dublin and were four of the founding members of the group, “HBam”. From 2002 to 2004, the group had sellout shows in the Temple Bar Music Centre (today’s Button Factory) and successful runs in the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

Only recently formed in January 2008, the Dublin-based group have been

welcomed with open arms by the gurus and critics of the comedy sphere and public alike. The Irish Times noted that their performance was “an excercise in studied brilliance, nailing every music genre from hair metal to power ballad to R&B”. In 2009 alone, they have showcased their talent and mingled with the Comedy World’s finest at the Montreal Just For Laughs Festival, Edinburgh’s Fringe Festival, Kilkenny Cat Laughs, London’s Big Joke and the Bulmer’s International Comedy Festival.

The group, consisting of Mick Cullinan (keyboard), Damian Fox (Drums), Shane O’Brien (Bass) and James Walmsley (guitar), perform as a rock and roll sketch band, encompassing various music stylings from stadium rock, boyband pop, indie rock and hip hop with more pizazz and showman swagger than you could shake a stick at. With each song different to the last, characters, roleplay, music genre spoof and story-telling are the foundation stone of the foursome’s comedy. Each with a different persona- Mick, the effeminate backing vocal, Demian, the red haired clueless fool, James, the charismatic frontman and Shane, the all-knowing rocker, moustachioed and bandana clad. They work well off each other, like a group of guys that you know and that also make you laugh. This is evident in their banter between songs. Their appeal is infectious as their songs are easily relatable- covering topics such as night’s out,

Frisky and Mannish enrole Fringe-goers in school of pop Frisky and Mannish, a musical-comedy duo who specialise in parodies of various pop songs, were, despite how uninventive that specialisation may sound, hugely and contagiously fun.

Though their main joke is undeniably unoriginal, the sheer amount of pop songs we are exposed to day-to-day means that new commentaries/piss-takes are never superfluous, especially when they are as potent and well-conceived as this duo’s. Highlights from their performance at Players include a version of Kate Bush’s insane “Wuthering Heights”, delivered in a monotone, bratty Kate Nash style, which then segued into a version of her song “Foundations” (which conflated Kate Nash holding onto the “cracks in our foundations” with Kate Bush outside Heathcliff’s window, leaving us with some new figure “holding onto the cracks in your window”) before returning to “Wuthering Heights” for its hysterical final section. Another highlight was “Eternal Flame”, sung by Frisky with hyperbolic intensity. I also hugely enjoyed the duo’s bizarre, extended digression in which they imitate a confounding genre they call “Early 20th Century British Sea-Side Humour” which made great use of the duo’s vocal interplay- this kind of meta-humour is always enjoyable.

The duo promised audience participation early in the show; I was dreading this section, though it only consisted of a short

parody of the sorting hat from Harry Potter, which would have been successful (it was executed with great zeal) if I had appreciated the references to pop stars which replaced the school houses from the novel; the joke was to make fun of various bgrade pop stars, and it smacked rather distastefully of one of those soul-denying talking heads programs you see on Channel Four counting down the top one hundred whatevers, or some crass tabloid culture editorial- the same rather trite, smugly ironic asides were rehearsed. Unfortunately, this approach was something of a motif throughout the entire performance, though their infectious and wholesome sense of fun (constrained though it felt) dispelled any lingering after taste.

There was little spontaneity throughout the show, which made their conceit of covering and merging pop songs seem all the more rigid a framework. Also, though the overarching conceit was that Frisky and Mannish were teachers/headmasters in a “school of pop”, with the audience comprising the students, much of the humour was derived from allusions to concepts discussed more at third level education; genre studies came up, as did Roland Barthes’ “The Death of the Author”.

Not that these references weren’t funny, they just seemed incongruous in their secondary school conceit (though I may be

nitpicking).

The show simply wouldn’t work if Frisky and Mannish weren’t excellent musicians and performers; Frisky has a wonderful singing voice and Mannish plays the keyboard with all manner of complicated flourishes. Also, Frisky covers a broad range of voices and accents which are remarkably sophisticated. Her Lilly Allen is particularly good, as is her impression of the imperious school teacher. Mannish I found somewhat less impressive, perhaps because of his less bombastic persona (the contrast between their personae is made amusing light of in a closing song in which Frisky sings to Mannish lines like: “You were content to stand in my shadow”). Maybe it was just this particular night, but I got no sense of high spirits from Mannish, and on the whole found him, even for the timid role he plays, to be distinctly uncharismatic.

Really, it’s hard to recommend Frisky and Mannish if you’re looking strictly for laughs, as some of it just wasn’t particularly funny, however they successfully blur the line between mocking and celebrating the songs they perform, and pop music lovers/likers (which basically covers all of us, I think) will surely enjoy their set.

Eoin Rafferty

the male idea of masculinity, vanity, the female body clock and sport, as well as bizarre stories of orthopaedic legs and disastrous driving tests. However their shining talent is the meshing of the everyday trials and tribulations with larger than life music performances, turning songs of cases of mistaken identity into rock anthems. The group must be applauded for their observational skills, which are evidently finely tuned and compliment their eye for comedic value winningly. Their songs pick out behavioral patterns and gender identities, which often go unnoticed by the average bystander.

Their performance runs like a welloiled machine. They have clearly practised to perfection; pitch-perfect inflections, movements and comic timing bring the show to life. Even the smallest details, such as the confident wielding of the guitar, the conviction of the vocals and the striking expressions of determination etched on their faces, elevated them to stadium rocker status.

Their effect on the audience was evident in the thunderous reception, howls of laughter throughout and a standing ovation at the end. There was very much a solid connection established between the group and the audience, as Dead Cat Bounce satisfied their appetite for a night’s hilarity and entertainment.

Niamh Keaveney

15

The University Times | Wednesday, January 20th

TimesArts&Culture

Ardal O’Hanlon takes to the stage in Goldsmith Hall Less than 5 minutes into the gig, it becomes apparent that the audience is composed of about 1% prick. There are four young men, presumably arrived in Trinity College through some perverse exchange programme with Burn nightclub, who seem content to have their own conversation, loudly, punctuated by the odd exclamation of their own fucking legendary, memetic injokes. All I can muster, being a complete and utter coward, is the occasional disapproving glance, carefully performed so as not to make eye-contact with four people who, despite being about 2 years younger (I think) and quite a great deal shorter than me, could each, individually, beat me up with relative ease. In my mind, the situation could escalate almost instantly to such a point, should I raise any objection to their behaviour on a vocal plane. Ben Clifford, head of the DU Comedy Society (who is sitting ahead of me), confronts them every so often, but to no avail. They don’t seem willing to accept the objections of a man in a festive jumper, for whatever reason, and his travails earn him the temporary nickname “Jumper” (genius!). After this, as their merrymaking and general buffoonery become louder, Ardal O’Hanlon questions gently their behaviour and unsuccessfully tries to involve them in some way through the usual comedian-audience-member banter. Eventually, he tells them to shut up or fuck off (in slightly more eloquent but equally profane terms), to uproarious applause from the crowd, whose enjoyment of the evening has been hampered through the unfortunate presence of cunts. As O’Hanlon remarks, “It’s awful, isn’t it, when you’re just trying to have

your own conversation and some bollocks comes and builds a comedy club around you?” Quite. The security of Goldsmith intervene, and the quartet remain silent for the rest of the performance, the mood of which has now improved considerably. I wonder why there isn’t an interview process for college admission.

This incident, in which O’Hanlon’s willingness to engage with a potentially very problematic situation highlighted his improvisational capabilities and genuine courage, simply showed, in stark contrast, how bland his prepared material is. Observational routines about the weather in Ireland, the difference between Irish people and Americans and the recession are easy topics from which to wring a gentle laugh, but there’s nothing ground-breaking or largely insightful about them. Am I asking too much? O’Hanlon has carved out a career in a somewhat similar mould to the standup stylings of Michael McIntyre, and his reluctance to confront reality with anything other than a blithe but inoffensive misanthropy is both boring and familiar.

Admittedly, I laughed a few times, but mainly so as not to seem to the people around me like I wasn’t enjoying myself. Again, in my mind, such a slip-up might have had violent consequences. I certainly didn’t not enjoy the gig, I was relatively indifferent towards it. Having tasted the sweet comic nectar of Stewart Lee less than a month ago, my standards had been raised beyond Mr O’Hanlon’s ability, but it still felt like he was phoning it in. It’s the kind of show you could take your grandmother to without fear of her being offended (unless the very mention of “sex”, “condom” or “India” is

enough to push her over the edge). His self-deprecation seems rehearsed and insincere; although his chronic inability to open brassieres is an admittledly funny concept, the ends to which the joke is taken are all too predictable to elicit anything other than a lukewarm reception from an enthusiastic crowd. If he wasn’t such a nice bloke (he seems to be, at least), I’d probably be more critical, and were it not for the fact that I am certainly not his target audience, then a more negative review would surely be forthcoming. It’d be like slating Twilight for being a retarded book/“film saga” made for retarded people; there is little point given that it is a product, a superficial commodity rather than a sincere piece of art. The people who watch it don’t care, and are often very indignant when confronted with their own stupidity. A bad review won’t make a great deal of difference.

Obviously, Twilight is much more stupid and insidious than Ardal O’Hanlon. He has his audience, and evidently isn’t interested in challenging them. He’s certainly a capable comedian, his delivery is very good, but his material is well and truly moribund. I was on the verge of boredom for the majority of the gig, disappointed by the inevitable staleness of the comedy on offer. Other people seemed to like it though. What a divisive man.

I clap enthusiastically at the end, afraid of violent reprisal.

Oisín Murphy

Keith Farnan brings Edinburgh show to Trinity Race is slippery issue, especially when it comes to making jokes. A narrow line needs to be tread for fear of backlash, or worse, a silent and disappointed audience. Keith Farnan does a good job of keeping the issue away from any potential hazards while at the same managing to keep it funny.

I had never seen a comedy gig start off with a stop-motion Lego short before, especially not one with a Lego Hitler,

Members of the Comedy Soc and Players committees engaging in a cream pie fight in the Rose Garden to launch the second annual Trinity Fringe Festival.

Photos: Lucy Nuzum

but surely it was a sign of good things to come. Keith Farnan’s forty-minute show No Blacks, No Jews, No Dogs, No Irish, which played at Trinity’s Fringe Festival last Thursday, was filled with originality and some very funny moments, if at times a tad disturbing. For those expecting a deep debate on the problems and cures of racism, this was not your venue, but if you came for some topic humour, you were in for a treat.

Farnan’s epileptic stylings consisted of him running around the stage and using wild hand motions and loud voice to get his points across and it seemed to serve him well, ingratiating the full house at the Players Theatre to him, a difficult thing to do with such a touchy subject as racism. Jokes ranged from the Greeks (The Greeks gave us the Olympics, Philosophy, and Homosexuality, so if you lost in a race you were buggered… but at least you knew why) to Travellers (My grandmother used to tell us “THEY will literally sell your eye out of its socket. Of course she only had one eye so it scared the shit out of us) and everything in between. Despite having a few technical problems and having to check his

notes Farnan did a good job of both bantering with the audience, improv-ing, and sticking to his scripted stuff. A few jokes poked at Ireland’s less-than stellar history of acceptance put the audience on familiar ground with the material, and it allowed Farnan to really do what he wanted. He plays his overgrown college kid routine very well, though somewhat laboured at times, especially with numerous references to how hungover he was. However it worked well with his college audience who laughed at every joke and even gave him a chuckle on his weaker jokes (Think “War on Terrier”).

One gets a sense very early on in his set though that there is not much difference between impromptu Fernan and set-list

Fernn– they just seem to be exactly the same. Many of his jokes came from the rants he tends to go off on, slowly weaving his way back and forth around a point that never seems to get made. In trying to hit all bases while at the same time localizing the subject the material seems to go off and lose something solid that we should take away from the performance. With a longer set time and perhaps a little more effort on Fernan’s part we could have really learned something. But for less than a fiver, most people would have been more than happy with the laughs they got.

Thomas Pepper

Live at Five Reviewed

Killer Chloe play the GMB The evening of the second day of the Trinity Fringe Festival saw Killer Chloe playing a short set in the Hist Conversation Room.

With the room’s tables and chairs pushed back to make a large stage area, and the small but enthusiastic crowd seated on couches lining the walls, the atmosphere was casual and relaxed. Occupying the makeshift stage were four guys, a guitar, a bass, a drumkit, four keyboards/synths and a mass of wires and amps. Despite a few minor technical

issues and a delay in getting started, the event was largely successful overall.

With bouncy rhythms, prominent bass lines, and frantic vocals, the band’s performance captured a progressive feeling of being both mellow and energetic at the same time, while the heavy use of synths (the guitarist, bassist and vocalist all took their turns on the keys) prevented things from becoming monotonous.

After 15/20 minutes of playing, the band were informed that they had to

tickets €8 from

clear out immediately to make way for the next group who’d booked the room.

This slight cutting-short of the set – presumably the result of the late start - was fairly disappointing, but caused no major upset to the relaxed audience. Overall Killer Chloe seemed well-received by all present, with their synth-heavy pop/ rock sound being entertaining, if nothing groundbreaking.

www.tickets.ie citidiscs (templebar) tcd su shop

Conor Sneyd

Printing House hosts Cloud Castle Lake Q – When is prog not prog? A – When it’s post rock!

Cloud Castle Lake strike you instantly as the sort of band who might use phrases along the lines of “sonic texture” whilst practicing, unfortunately they seem not to have realised that not all textures are pleasant - hedgehogs for example. Whilst their post-rock synth noodling will occasionally strike a moment of beauty through the clouds of guitar effects and echoed voices they arrive both rarely and fleetingly before being rolled beneath all 18 wheels, rather like a hedgehog (I think that the

hedgehog analogy may have run dry at this point,).

The delicate, falsetto vocals were too often destroyed by the continual presence of echo effects for any comprehension, which is a real shame as there’s no doubt that the singer has presence in front of the band and as a clearly literate band (they take their name from a collection of short stories by Vladimir Nabokov) it would be interesting to know what they had to say.

The short-lived moments of subdued melancholy though were at times truly excellent, complimented entirely by

the unusual, almost antique, setting of the print room on campus as part of the Dublin fringe festival, but as always it was only a matter of time before they were drowned out by guitars that sounded so like the keyboards it was confusing why they would decide to choose between them. Cloud castle lake may well be worth watching in the future if only to see what direction they might take – just as you might watch a hedgehog on a spaceship. Sorry.

Lawrence Cook

Century musical notes that sparkle with contagious rhythms.

Their lyrics talk to their audiences about human moods, the frankness of life, love, passion and fired energy!

Their chemistry is a reaction that explodes in enjoyment and playfulness; their music nourishes your senses with the mixed-match of present and past melodies that make you move in a dance-like urge.

Giraffes were born in Trinity in 2007 - all musicians in their early twenties united by their need to share their talent, their feelings, their anxieties and

Support from Hubie Davison (MUZIK Resident)

Giraffes play final Live at Five gig The last kicks of the Trinity Fringe Festival brought us the experience of encountering a new feeling in musical mixing - acoustic jazz.

Giraffes; walking tall, elegant in their moves, confident by their good looks, their animal instincts of survival enrooted in self-assurance and agility when needs be.

While one would not consider a jazzy giraffe, and against all odds, these Giraffes hit the stage with massive energy and in-depth lyrics! Their music, acoustic-jazz, is a fusion of nostalgia with musical virtuosity of the flourished 21

breakbot

their best with others.

Giraffes played Friday, December 11 and took over the stage (their natural playground); and knowing what they were doing seduced the audience with their jazzy tunes and made them loosen up, to enjoy and let go of emotions, delighting us all with some of their originals: Meet Me In St. Louis, Do My Own Thing, London Time, The Way We Are (cover), the Ballad of Jack Daniels, and Jelly Fishes And Oscar.

Maria Copley

Thursday 21st January @ The Button Factory

Doors @ 10.30 ROAR // Govt I.D.

Group discounts & info muzikthursdays@gmail.com

Trinnittsy E.com

Ed Banger - Paris

www.myspace.com/ dothefunkybot

16

Wednesday, January 20th | The University Times

TimesFILM

Big Budget Eoin Rafferty reviews James Cameron’s Avatar and looks at the rise of the blockbuster over the last thirty years.

James Cameron’s Titanic (1997) is, according to various sources, the highest grossing movie of all time. James Cameron’s rapturously received Avatar (2009) is the second highest grossing movie of all time, earning over a billion worldwide. They are quintessential blockbusters. Because of what Wikipedia calls “the secretive nature of film budgets” (I hadn’t realized information about budgets wasn’t freely available), it’s not quite possible to compare the budget with the gross in all cases, however rumours circulate that Avatar is also one of the most expensive films ever made. Suffice to say, however, that the films which gross the most are generally those with the highest budgets, and that films with very high budgets tend to incorporate the latest technological advances, or, in the case of Avatar, are instrumental in developing them.

Many breakthroughs are put to use in a subtle manner. Like, for example, the various audio innovations surrounding Francis Ford Coppola’s The Conversation

and Robert Altman’s seventies work, or Stanley Kubrick’s work on steadicams and zooms. With Avatar, there seems nothing incremental about its visual innovation; the audience is confronted (all at once, and at many levels) with new and sophisticated imagery never before seen, or possible. Set on an alien planet in the future, the film follows a man who, inhabiting an alien body, attempts to diplomatically remove the native species from their land, so that greedy humans can mine their planet for a priceless energy source (I heard disappointingly few guffaws when it’s revealed that this priceless material is called “unobtainium”- honestly).

The idea of a film which combines mind-blowing special effects with acute (or at least not distractingly inept) characterisation and plot is something of a holy grail for producers and film buffs.

The Matrix (1999), Cameron’s own Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991) and Spielberg’s Jurassic Park (1993) are some of the landmark special effects films of

the nineties that achieve this. Avatar though, combines tepid characterisation with an altogether unreasonable plot (not just far-fetched, but irrationalthe plot is more alien to human experience than the actual aliens), and I could talk for quite some time about its failures in those departments. That would be missing the point of the movie, many people would argue, and anyway, it has already left a huge mark on the landscape of Big Movies.

But equally, people’s minds are boggled by the vast disparity between technical and visual sophistication, on the one hand, and what seems like wilful narrative incompetence on the other.

What I didn’t understand about Avatar’s weird political inflections, for example, was that it for some reason conflated the genocide of Native Americans (a gentle and simple race of people who are overrun by greedy humans), the latest Iraq war (I seem to recall stress placed on the word “terror” or “pre-emptive” or something), ecological issues, and, bizarrely, the internet. See, the alien people are able to connect their minds to a global network (the centre of which is a big tree) and can tap the esoteric recourses of their planet using this method. It’s always disheartening when films combine earnest and would-be worthy

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political cogitations, like the nods to Bush and Iraq, with extreme and offensive cultural insensitivity. How is it not racist, or tactless in the extreme, to portray a white man rising, through his tacit superiority, through the ranks of an alien society to win a war for them? And then it congratulates itself on its liberalism?

The concept of the blockbuster originated in the mid-seventies; a turbulent time for the Hollywood studio system.

A new method was needed to maintain profitability, as well as a totally new marketing strategy. Steven Spielberg’s Jaws (1975) was the first film in the rich

(pun) tradition of films of which Avatar is the latest addition. Jaws’ spectacular box office performance in the summer of ’75 led studios to invest bigger amounts of money in fewer productions per year, productions that were guaranteed success – this is when “saturation”, or the simultaneous national release of a film, came into practice. The blockbuster was also marketed using a procedure known as “horizontal integration”, whereby TV shows, Happy Meals, action figures and video games surround the production and usually end up being more profitable than the movie itself (leading to charges that the blockbuster becomes a mere advertisement for its own merchandise). Though the industry has changed dramatically since Jaws, this process is largely intact today.

Though Avatar has its share of tie-ins, the singular nature of its achievements in special effects makes it the centre of attention in this case. Furthermore, Avatar was something of a pet project for its director. Cameron has stated that Avatar was written in 1995, was shelved while he went on numerous deep sea expeditions, and took four and a half years to film. He waited “for technology to catch up” with his vision. Visually, Avatar is hugely impressive. Out of all the 3D films I’ve “experienced” last year, it

benefits the most from that extra sheen.

And there is something genuinely thrilling about witnessing technological breakthroughs aestheticised with such bravado, especially when those breakthroughs happen for the sole purpose of being enacted on screen. With Avatar, the visuals, at every level, look so completely new that it’s difficult to point out exactly what Cameron has done; the audience is given everything at once, and the sensation is overwhelming. Avatar’s innovations centre on 3D filming, and the development of “virtual cameras” which enable Cameron to focus on any detail of his computer generated world without the restrictions this would entail in previous productions.

I suspect that people are attracted to expensive movies in the same way that some people are attracted to rich people and expensive things, and I also suspect that audiences derive a weird and craven pleasure from the authority of a gargantuan budget and powerful new technologies. And, for better or worse, there is a powerful sense of authority surrounding Avatar.

The film centres on Ryan Bingham (George Clooney) whose job is to fire people. Hired out by large companies, Ryan flies to major cities throughout the United States to sack employees, thus relieving bosses around the country of the difficult task. Living in a ‘cocoon of self-banishment’ as his young co-worker puts it, Ryan has neither friend nor girlfriend and is totally happy about it.

In fact, when not firing others, he gives seminars encouraging a life without ‘baggage’. Flying over 300 days a year, his life is one of hotels and airports. Yet he likes that he can fit his entire life into one carry-on suitcase.

This seemingly bleak setup is offset by frequent comedic moments, thanks largely to Vera Farmiga (The Departed) and Anna Kendrick (Twilight), who more than manage to hold their own against

the predictably confident and charming Clooney. I guess it’s been done too many times though, because the “lonely aging man” trope seems especially tired here. Also, the whole “Hero who doesn’t get what he wants in the end” arc doesn’t quite satisfy anymore. Throughout, the feeling of having seen this film before was unshakable, although Reitman’s screenplay (co-written with Sheldon Turner), to its credit offers us more than just a few clever lines. Up in the Air also shares other characteristics of ‘good movies’: precise framing, the occasional voice-over, and so on. As such, we overlook the film’s more conventional elements (the hero’s sister’s fiancé has to get cold feet on the wedding day so the hero can save the day; the too-good-tobe-true love interest has to be revealed as having a husband and kids).

It’s hard to get really excited about a movie like Up in the Air. There’s plenty to like and little to dislike. But it’s just what the world doesn’t need: another pretty good movie. While watching, you get the impression that this is a movie your parents would really enjoy/appreciate.

But Jason Reitman remains an interesting case as perhaps the most successful amongst his peers at bridging the gap between the mainstream and the ‘art house’. He inflects these major productions with ‘indie’ quirks, which give his films an ‘edge’ and ‘crossover potential’. You might reconcile all this by calling Up in the Air an ‘art house’ movie for people who do not typically watch ‘art house’ movies.

The idea of a film which combines mind-blowing special effects with acute characterisation and plot is something of a holy grail for producers

Eoin Rafferty Avatar is currently on general release nationwide.

Film Reviews

Up in the Air Directed by Jason Reitman Starring George Clooney, Vera Farmiga, Anna Kendrick Running time 109 minutes

Up in the Air begins with interviews with individuals reacting to their being let go. Shock and anger are understandably expressed. What adds poignancy (not to mention universality) to these interviews, however, is the hopelessness

reiterated by several subjects, that common yet frightening feeling of simply not knowing what to do. Director Jason Reitman (Thank You for Smoking, Juno), in an attempt to bring authenticity to the film, used recently unemployed individuals

Spread Directed by David MacKenzie Starring Ashton Kutcher, Anne Heche, Margarita Levieva Running time 87 minutes

Set in the Hollywood Hills of Los Angeles, Spread is the amusing story of handsome, charming Nikki (Ashton Kutcher) who relies solely on his good looks to get by. Having no home, no job and few friends, he makes up for all this by sleeping with an excessive amount of women.

He is a modern day, fun-loving, manwhore, sleeping his way through and into the lives of the rich and privileged.

He reaches the height of his career when attractive, middle-aged attorney Samantha (Anne Heche, Nip/Tuck) offers to ‘spread’ everything for him, securing him the material life he always wanted. Everything goes smoothly

until he meets funny and cute waitress Heather (Margarita Levieva) who encourages Nikki to ‘conquer’ her as one of his trophies. Nikki succeeds, but when she visits him at Samantha’s house she mistakenly assumes it to be his. We discover that Heather is actually playing the same game as he is. Heather’s lies soon unravel and the two enjoy a life of crashing A-list parties until they start to fall in love – something they cannot reconcile with their decadent lifestyle.

From that point the film takes on the conventional plot of girl leaves boy, boy realises he’s in love, boy does everything to get girl back and, in this instance,

for these scenes, luring them in under the pretence of making a documentary about job loss. Kevin Renick, an unemployed proofreader from Saint Louis, sent Reitman a tape of his music a few years ago. Reitman ended up using Renick’s song, ‘Up in the Air’, for the closing credits. While these details lend the film an air of legitimacy, Hollywood is perhaps not properly suited to address the realities of the recent financial unravel (one reason being that the Hollywood film industry was left unscathed by the market collapse and has actually been flourishing). So while it would appear Up in the Air was released at the right time, the film’s ‘relevance’ might be considered opportunistic. There is little doubt that its topicality is partially what has elicited such enthusiastic responses from critics and audiences. girl is torn between love and money.

The moral of the story seems to be that money isn’t everything, that some ‘playas’ may actually be capable of falling in love. Indeed, it is women who represent those who prefer money to true love. At any rate, there is little point in getting too deeply ‘philosophical’ on this issue, as the film clearly doesn’t. It’s an entertaining, superficial story that loses its edge as well as some rather disturbing scenes after the first 35 minutes.

Directed by David Mackenzie (Hallam Foe, Young Adam), Spread explores the temptations of sex and money and examines notions of happiness and self-fulfilment. The movie portrays the glamorous Hollywood and what the city offers to the beautiful and rich, but also the price Nikki has to pay to facilitate his lifestyle of free-riding. The picture is worth a look for Kutcher’s ability to make suspenders look incredibly hot and for a great performance from a stunning Anne Heche. However, as the film leaves its prestigious Hollywood surrounding behind in its second half, it also loses its sharpness.

Gundula Beeler

The Road Directed by John Hillcoat Starring Viggo Mortensen, Kodi SmitMcPhee, Charlize Theron Running time 111 minutes

Disaster movies are an established genre and their heyday was the 1970s, when claasics of modern kitsch like Towering Inferno and The Poseidon Adventure pitted ordinary people against natural forces gone ballistic, and the audience celebrated mans triumph over adversity. Over the intervening decades the disasters have gotten bigger and bigger - think The Day After Tomorrow and 2012 – but the plot lines have generally maintained a consistent commitment to portraying everyday people banding together to overcome near impossible odds.

The Road is an altogether different

type of disaster movie and strikes altogether different tone. This film does not deliver a redemptive storyline and any triumphs are small and personal. It’s an original achievement, and the vision remains very close to Cormac McCarthy’s bleak novel, a fact that undoubtedly helps its narrative to sweep you along with its story of a father and son trying to survive in a post-apocalyptic future.

Viggo Mortensen plays the father and he carries the role expertly. Likewise Kodi Smit-McPhee is a very talented young actor playing his son. For such an emotionally centered film these performances are crucial, and the actors

Chris Kelly

both deliver the goods. There are appearances from Robert Duvall, Guy Pearce and Charlize Theron with Duvall’s turn being the most memorable.

However this film is all about father and son and as such the other characters are relatively unimportant.

The apocalyptic plot that propels this film allows the narrative to explore the darkest recesses of the human soul, as such we are treated to a nightmarish vision of how man might behave if there was little left to live or care for. This is a world where people are zombies not because they are acting beyond their control, but rather because they choose to cannibalize for reasons of survival. It is indeed a dark vision but not without overtones of possible redemption or indeed religious inflections.

Is it still a disaster movie if the good guys don’t win? Whatever it is, I liked it enormously and it is hard to find fault with any aspect of its production. The cinematography deserves special mention as do the subtle but effective special effects; this is a very beautifully constructed piece of cinema.

Conor O’Kelly

17

The University Times | Wednesday, January 20th

TimesTELEVISION

The Day the Music Died Colin McGrane looks at the gradual transformation of MTV from music television to reality television.

W

hen MTV first graced our screens back in August of 1981, its ground breaking marriage of popular music, artsy graphics and avant-garde music videos proved to be instantly successful. The idea that music was no longer confined just to the radio or the cassette player paved the way for an increasingly strong link between music and visual art, thus helping to create some of the most daring and memorable music videos of all time (anyone remember Michael Jackson’s 14 minute video for ‘Thriller’?). MTV’s popularity continued to soar throughout the 80’s, and during the 90’s the channel experienced its cultural heyday, with nearly every teenager on earth tuning in daily for their dose of youth culture.

But when did MTV begin sink into the decline which would ultimately see it becoming a dumping ground for second rate reality TV shows as opposed to a showcase for music and youth culture? Towards the end of the 90s MTV was still labelling itself as a channel devoted to music (albeit with the sporadic intervention of a Beavis and Butthead short), but as the noughties began to creep in, so too did

the phenomenon of reality TV. I can enjoy A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila as much as the next person, but there comes a point where you begin to wonder why such TV shows are given air time on a channel which ironically still calls itself ‘Music TV’ At the beginning of the noughties, shows like The Osbournes offered us a bit of mild entertainment, but soon the MTV schedule was packed with increasingly bizarre and convoluted shows, and with this, MTV’s transformation from the sublime to the ridiculous was complete. TV shows like Made or The Real World were all good and well when they were interspersed with music videos, but in recent years it seems that such shows have taken over the airwaves of our beloved MTV, thus rendering it virtually unwatchable.

While MTV does still claim to play a limited selection of music videos, the task of actually airing music related programming has now been charged to MTV’s various sibling channels such as MTV Hits and MTV Dance.

But while such channels do indeed deliver what they promise by way of a nearly constant stream of music videos, they have failed to live up to the reputation of the original MTV. The role of MTV was not only that of a showcase for music, but also the station acted as a cultural phenomenon, inspiring a generation not only with its music, but with its whipsmart VJs, and charmingly misanthropic and sardonic animated characters.

In many ways, the 90s incarnation of MTV began to define the generation which it portrayed in TV shows like Daria. The so called ‘MTV generation’ was a new breed of smart (if not overly cynical) teens with definitive views on music. Nowadays however, the only tools MTV can use to inspire or define youth

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Nowadays however, the only tools MTV can use to inspire or define youth culture are three year old episodes of My Super Sweet Sixteen and reruns of Pimp My Ride.

culture are three year old episodes of My Super Sweet Sixteen and reruns of Pimp My Ride, hardly the kind of stuff we will think back to in ten years when we reminisce about our teenage years.

But what will become of MTV? It seems certain that the days of the Apollo landing

inspired logo and the back to back music videos are long gone for MTV, and it appears that it must settle into an existence where it relies solely on second rate reality TV shows to reel in the viewers. It may be that MTV was a victim of the 21st century. With increased internet usage, sites like YouTube and iTunes mean that music is now available to us 24 hours a day, and this may have all but eradicated the need for a TV channel dedicated solely to music videos. No longer do we need to sit watching MTV for hours on end waiting desperately for Britney’s ‘Hit Me Baby One More Time’ to come on TV (I speak from experience). Instead, we can simply pop onto YouTube and enjoy all the Britney we want, when we want.

So what can we say of our dear friend MTV? Even though it has now changed beyond all recognition from the days when it was actually music TV, we can still switch it on from time to time, and while chuckling at the unfeasibly spoilt brats on My Super Sweet Sixteen, reminisce about the days when MTV was the coolest channel for your TV to be tuned to.

Colin McGrane

A New Year’s Eve with the telly on Instead of facing the problems associated with a New Year’s Eve night out, Jennifer Duignam opted to stay home and indulge in what television had to offer for the night. Unfortunately it was not exactly what she had been expecting.

New Year’s Eve 2009 held high expectations for me. Working under the assumption that, as the last night of the year, December 31 would produce television that was on a level far superior to any other day of 2009, I decided to forfeit my party plans in favour of a night at home. My belief was that by surrendering my evening to the whims of Sky+ I would escape the novelty glasses, the party poppers and the customary awkward hugs at midnight which dogged my usual New Year’s Eve celebrations. Instead, I would be treated to hours upon hours of great television celebrating the shows that defined the Noughties, those which had made it one of the most innovative and forward thinking decades of television in memory. So, as I settled down with a glass of wine in one hand and the remote in the other, I was quite optimistic, and sure in my deduction that with over eight hundred channels at my disposal I would easily find a wealth of programmes that would epitomise the magic of the Noughties. I was wrong. So terribly wrong...

Firstly, I should tell you that having Sky+ does not guarantee good television. It may be hard for those without the magic service to believe this, but trust me; nobody wants to be subjected to Derek Acorah by choice. However, what shocked me most about the majority of Sky channels was that they had made no alterations to their regular scheduling in an effort to celebrate New Year’s Eve. Living TV for example, continued with the same re-runs of

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The majority of digital channels had made no alterations to their regular scheduling in an effort to celebrate New Year’s Eve.

CSI and Criminal Minds as every other night of the year. Don’t get me wrong. Both of these are very good shows, but hardly classics in the noughties canon. Whether this was a poor attempt at ignoring the holiday altogether, or a serious lack of imagination on the producer’s part we will never know. What soon became obvious though was that this was a sentiment shared by many of the channels on offer. So it was with a slightly less naïve outlook that I decided to shun Digital TV for the night and turn my gaze to the stalwarts of terrestrial television: RTÉ, BBC and Channel 4.

BBC proved probably the most entertaining broadcaster of the night, with Jools Holland’s Hootenanny providing an evening of excellent music, drunken celebrities and a polar bear.

Showcasing a wealth of talent, it was worth catching purely for the atrociously off key version of Auld Lang Syne that echoed throughout the sound stages at midnight, which was surprising given the amount of number ones the revellers had between them. BBC 1 meanwhile, saw Graham Norton review the year in his own unique way with the help of a very witty Sarah Jessica Parker, Trinity alumni Dominic West and the eternally hilarious Joan Rivers. Throw in an appearance from the Jedward lads and it ran away with the award for best show of the night. What set it apart from the other programmes on offer though, was its interest in evaluating and celebrating the past ten years in a humorous way. Rivers’ comment that Susan Boyle is a perfect example that “sometimes makeovers don’t work” had me laughing for a good ten minutes after.

Followed by a twenty minute programme designed around the fireworks display over the Thames in London, BBC 1 became the only channel to designate an individual show to the countdown to the New Year; others had simply slotted the celebrations into their other scheduled programming. However, while vastly enjoyable and certainly entertaining, BBC failed to produce a show which epitomised the trends of the Noughties.

RTÉ on the other hand, embraced the revival of the talent show, a format which had come to dominate television during the decade. With The All Ireland Talent Show occupying the all important midnight slot, RTÉ followed in the footsteps of Popstars, The X Factor

and Britain’s Got Talent in an effort to highlight the home-grown talent the country has to offer. However, like the ill-fated You’re a Star before it, The All Ireland Talent Show fails to capture the magic or the excitement of its Anglo counterparts and the show was something I felt I had to endure, rather than enjoy.

Channel 4 meanwhile took a more straightforward approach in its review of the decade by doing just that: reviewing the Noughties under a plethora of different headings. The show that caught my eye when browsing the TV listings was The Greatest TV Shows of the Noughties. The primary reason for this was because I thought it might write this article for me. What I got instead was a bemusing and very strange list of English TV shows most of which I had heard of, but never watched.

What was most interesting about the review though, was not the shows it included but rather its exclusions. I have to break the news to you right now: The Wire wasn’t even mentioned and Top Gear took first place. In fact, only two American shows made the top twenty, both of which started their run well

before the turn of the 21st century: Friends (which finished a ten year run in 2004) and The Simpsons (which many of its celebrity fans agreed had experienced a serious decline in quality). Where were Lost and The Sopranos?

Where was Grey’s Anatomy? Instead of such US heavyweights, slots on the all important list had gone to Dragons Den and I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here.

I sat there in shock as events unravelled, and was struck by a scary thought. If John Cusack and Roland Emmerich(and the Ancient Mayan civilization) were to be believed, the world will end in 2012. And if we believe that these twenty shows (which, I forgot to mention, include Grand Designs) epitomise the best of televised output in the last ten years, then we are definitely in trouble. On the plus side, if there are indeed only two more years left on this earth, I won’t have to sit my finals and I’ll only have to endure another two New Year’s Eves. There’s always a silver lining.

Jennifer Duignam

Box News

Celebrity Big Brother returns to our screens Celebrity Big Brother, which launched its new season on January 3rd, has seen the culmination of some of its ‘chaviest’ housemates yet.

Among the shameless repertoire of stars trying to springboard their nonexistent careers from the pits of the unknown to the realm of being recognised by giggling fourteen year olds in TGI Friday’s are one of Jordan’s ex boyfriends, Alex Reid, a page 3 glamour model ‘Nicola T’, and rapper Sisqo who’s fame hit its peak in 1999 with the ‘Thong Song’.

Contesting alongside Sisqo shall be another crippled/failed ‘star’, Dane Bowers whose career clearly declined so fast that no one actually ever heard of him to begin with.

No doubt laughter shall ensue as these stars reminisce over their supposed fame and engage in candid and bitchy reviews of fellow h o u s e - mates in the video diary room that will then be broadcasted back out to the public.

Among the other irrelevant celeb guests are: Stephen Baldwin (brother to the real Baldwin), Lady Sovereign and Jonas Altberg, better known as ‘Basshunter’. All the show is missing now is real celebs and any kind of mental diversity.

Michelle Doyle

Glee set to bring joy to the high school musical genre After having launched a pilot episode on TV3 in early December, Glee was announced as the new resident newbie show to the channel to start this January.

Initially fettered by its seemingly close similarity to Disney’s High School Musical, further viewing will make it clear that the show is not that similar to High School Musical after all: its jokes are more risqué, its breaking out into song less random, its cast older and its characters more likeable.

If that hasn’t drawn you in, the soundtrack is a winner.

The first episode relinquishes all singing, all dancing takes of classics like ‘Rehab’ and ‘Don’t Stop Believing’, the latter shooting straight into the top five on Irish iTunes following the pilot episode in December.

Set in a middle of nowhere high school, this stereotype comedy follows teacher Mr. Schuester on his journey of turning his merry band of misfits into a glee club to be proud of.

The first season of Glee has yet to finish airing on Fox in the US and has been met with favourable reviews and a strong following (fans of the show are known as “Gleeks”).

It was also nominated for four Golden Globes and won the Favourite New TV Comedy award at this year’s People’s Choice Awards.

Michelle Doyle

Third season of action spy comedy Chuck premieres in US Sunday, January 10 saw the return of hit American show Chuck for its third season. The show was created by Josh Shwartz (The OC, Gossip Girl) and Chris Fedak and premiered in 2007. It follows central protagonist Chuck, a sci-fi geek’s everyman, who works tech support in an electronics store and struggles to find a girlfriend. However everything changes for Chuck when his former college roommate, now a CIA agent, sends him an email containing all the government secrets into his head and sets him on a wild adventure.

This might seem like a ridiculous premise but Chuck has fast become NBC’s top rated hour long drama and an unlikely hit with critics. The season premier was watched by over 7.4 million people. However nine months ago things weren’t looking quite so rosy for Chuck. Despite its popularity NBC was considering cancelling the show at the end of its second season.

This prompted fans to launch the “Save Chuck” campaign which gained momentum on Facebook and Twitter.

The real breakthrough of the campaign came when a fan, inspired by Subway’s product placement within the show, organised fans to purchase a footlong on the day of the season two finale in support of the shows renewal. This gained momentum and culminated in Zachary Levi (Chuck) leading a group of hundreds of fans to a subway restaurant in Birmingham, England. The campaign also saw over $17,000 donated to the American Heart Association on behalf of NBC in a fan effort entitled “Have a Heart, Renew Chuck”.

NBC bosses seem to have made a concentrated effort to boost Chuck’s ratings by airing two episodes back to back on Sunday, January 10 before allowing it to settle into its weekly timeslot the next day with an episode that ended on a cliffhanger that seems to have been designed to keep fans hooked. With this week’s cancellation of Jay Leno’s primetime show perhaps NBC will have be better able to cope with Chuck’s expensive budget. When asked whether the cancellation had lowered the bar for Chuck, NBC chairman Jeff Gaspin replied, “I wouldn’t say the bar’s lower, but we obviously have less choice at the moment, so he’s got a better shot.”

It would seem that Chuck fans are in for another uncertain year if ratings don’t at the very least hold steady.

Chuck airs on NBC in the US on Mondays and will soon return to TV3 here.

Stephen O’Connell

18

Wednesday, January 20th | The University Times

TimesARTS&Culture

The Paris Review reviewed Kevin Breathnach examines the Paris Review literary magazine and the collections of interviews with prolific authors that have come from it.

F

ounded in 1953 by the estimable trio of George Plimpton, Peter Matthiessen, and Harold Humes, The Paris Review is one of those worthy little magazines which people of a literary bent tell themselves they should read regularly, and perhaps even subscribe to.

But as things pan out, very few act upon such inklings, and most of us get on with our lives without any discernable loss for not having done so.

The only time I bought it was when John Banville was interviewed by Trinity graduate, Belinda McKeon, and I read nothing more than the interview itself. Indeed, its interviews, published under the title The Art of Fiction, have always been the magazine’s main attraction – its sole attraction, almost. Having interviewed E.M. Forster in its first issue, the Review brings a weight to the table which causes most writers slouched opposite to sit up and speak their whole truth; for these interviews are not tomorrow’s fish and chip paper. Posterity calls.

When, in 2003, George Plimpton gave up the ghost at last, the newly appointed editor of the magazine Philip Gourevitch, in a stroke of supposed genius, acted upon Ernest Hemingway’s prediction that the magazine’s famed Art of Fiction

interviews would “make a good book when collected.”

Why this wasn’t done under Plimpton’s reign is beyond me, for these books of interviews – a sort of Best Of, which has now reached its fourth volume – have generated more publicity and, I would hazard, more revenue in the last five years than the magazine itself has in its last twenty-five. These four volumes, which boast (very briefly) such luminaries as William Carlos William, William Faulkner and William Styron, are now available to

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specific books or poems.

“Do you feel you have any conspicuous or secret flaws as a writer?” Philip Larkin is asked in the Vol.2, for instance. “So many critics equate the success of a writer with an unhappy childhood,” E.B. White is informed in Vol.4. “Can you say something of your own childhood in Mount Vernon?” One brave interviewer asks Ted Hughes to talk about burning Sylvia Plath’s journals after her suicide, which the former laureate does to his credit – briefly.

Reading the interviews is an exercise in literary naval gazing. Writers are asked by how they go about their day, where writing fits into it, etc.

buy as a box set, hand-cut and very handsomely packaged indeed.

Reading the interviews is an exercise in literary naval gazing – of that there is little doubt. Writers are asked by how they go about their day, where writing fits into it, how long they spend doing at their desk, how they approach the blank page, what they think of their own work, and how they have gone about writing, rewriting and editing

Yet in an age obsessed with celebrity, with actors over characters, with backstage over the stage itself, it would be very odd indeed for those interested in books not to be interested in their authors and their private, yet professional lives. These interviews, often conducted by friends of the authors, are loaded with enough literary gossip, anecdote and invective to fuel a series of educated dinner parties.

Scan through some of the grumpier British writers for amusing (if eventually tiresome) occasions in cultural ignorance and intolerance. “Joyce started off writing very well,” says Evelyn Waugh, smoking a cigar in his pyjamas, “then you can watch him going mad with vanity. He ends up a lunatic.”

Waugh’s interview is monosyllabic and lifeless; questions are answered as if to the police or as if, having given everything he had to his art, the Waugh is now simply spent, ready for bed.

Philip Larkin happily ignores North American literature: “Someone would say, What about Ashberry?

And I’d say, I’d prefer strawberry.” And then, perhaps for the sake of fairness, happily ignores Latin American literature as well: “Who is Jorge Luis Borges?” Yikes!

Meanwhile, we’re told that his best friend Kingsley Amis flung a copy of his son Martin’s novel Money across the room when a minor character named ‘Martin Amis’ was introduced. Graham Greene denies everything and then more or less asks the Review to leave his home about twenty minutes into the interview.

Stephen King and Georges Simenon are the collection’s headlights, two veritable banks of erudition. These two writers, who are usually

considered little more than writers of ‘popular fiction’, are consistently, though alternately articulate, always enlightening and very often instructive. Any aspiring writer would do well to read these interviews before storming on unto the breech.

“Writing is not a profession,” Simenon warns, “but a vocation of unhappiness. I don’t think an artist can ever be happy.” Glum, yes; but for anybody willing to ply this unhappy trade, these two interviews are full of very useful technical advice. For instance, Stephen King, who comes across as a very funny and genuine guy, reveals his views on editing: “To edit ‘in the camera’ – to make changes on the screen. With Cell that’s what I did. I read it over, I had editorial corrections, I was able to make my own corrections, and to me that’s like ice skating. It’s an OK way to work, but it isn’t optimal. With Lisey I had a copy beside the computer and I created blank documents and retyped the whole thing.

To me that’s like swimming, and that’s preferable. It’s like you’re writing the book over again. It is literally a rewriting.”

These books are invaluable for writers and readers alike. Sadly, this review is not a large enough chest to offer more than an idea of its abundant treasures. When asked

what any novel of his mean, Martin Amis answered: “The novel, all four hundred and seventy pages of it. Not any catchphrase that you could print on a badge or a T-Shirt.”

The same goes for these interviews. The quotes they

gather are certainly revealing and frequently amusing, but each interview should be read as a whole. Occasionally, the reader will come across a bad interview, in which the author is uncooperative, brusque or downright

boring. But, to borrow a phrase from Simenon, many of these interviews sit down proudly at posterity’s desk, “almost works of art.”

Kevin Breathnach

Direct action in the war on whaling Lily Power discusses the renegade, celebrity backed anti whaling mission, the Sea Shepherd, as one of its vessels is sunk by Japanese Whalers.

On January 6th the controversial anti-whaling mission, the Sea Shepherd, entered the news once again after its smallest vessel, the Ady Gil, sunk off the coast of Antarctica. The captain of the Sea Shepherd mission, Paul Watson, accused Japanese whaling ship, the Shonan Maru, of deliberately ramming the vessel and causing it to break in two. A charge that the Japanese deny.

The Sea Shepherd Conservation Society (SSCS) was established in 1977 by Watson, one of the founding members of Greenpeace. The mission is described as an “international non-profit, marine wildlife conservation organization.”

Watson’s tactics have always been dramatic, and he vowed to apply himself to the protection of whales after a confrontation with a Soviet whaling ship in 1975, in which he was nearly killed after chaining himself to the vessel. Watson split from Greenpeace two years later as his frustration grew over the perceived bureaucracy of the organisation. Watson favoured a direct action approach, practical intervention rather than political pressure.

The SSCS is funded both by governments and private backers that support Watson’s renegade, and often violent, approach to the protection of whales. Their mission has also become the focus of a popular Discovery Channel documentary Whale Wars.

The high suspense documentary follows the ongoing

battle between the Sea Shepherd vessels and the Japanese whaling fleet. Watson and his crew employ tactics such as throwing foul smelling butyric acid onto the deck of the Japanese ship and sabotaging eqiuptment such as drift nets.

Other methods include ‘prop fouling’, where a rope is released into the water, entangling itself in the ship’s propeller.

The Japanese respond with giant, high force water canons, that prevent the apprach of smaller vessels such as the Ady Gil. The LRAD is also a favoured weapon, a system that produces a noise so violent that even the Sea Shepherd helicopter is endangered.

The documentary is presented as a David and Goliath struggle on the high seas, where good men never give up a fight, and bad Japanese people kill whales.

The contest is so unevenly matched that it’s almost comic, and has even attracted a South Park take off. The lobbing of what are essentially stink bombs at a crew that are well used to the stench of whale flesh just doesn’t seem enough.

The publicity that Whale Wars has stirred up has been invaluable to the SSCS, however, and has attracted support from an array of celebrities. The two largest vessels in the fleet, the Steve Irwin and the Bob Barker are named after their patrons, the latter of whom presents The Price is Right on American television.

Watson joked that the SSCS had Batman, Captain Kirk and James Bond behind it, referring to the support of Christian Bale, William Shatner and Pierce Brosnan.

It was also rumoured that Heath Ledger was considering playing Watson in a film about his life. Shortly before his death, Ledger made a six minuite animated clip with the band Modest Mouse, donating all the funds to the SSCS. The video, King Rat, features a blue whale in a captain’s hat, hunting humans in the ocean before skinning them and feeding them to his seal pups.

The issue of whaling has been sidelined, somewhat, since the 1986 Convention for the Regulation of Whaling.A moratorium on commercial whaling was agreed on by the fifteen whale-hunting nations, but membership remains voluntary. Currently nearly ninety states have signed up but support has dropped to a fifty fifty split among whaling nations, Japan, along with Iceland and Norway opting out. There are numerous controversies surrounding the IWC , among them the accusation that Japan was ‘vote buying’ in an attempt to overturn the moratorium.

A loophole in the agreement allows them a whaling quota on the grounds of scientific research, a move that the SSCS stands against.

Anti whaling lobbyists argue that the lucrative market for whale meat, which can be sold as a by-product, is the

real inscentive for the Japanese fleet.

This battle has raged for over three decades, with campaigners diverging over the correct tactics to use.The publicity that Watson’s direct action techniques have acheived is undeniable, but many believe this has done little for the plight of whales.

Greenpeace and other organisations argue that the only way to achieve a long term solution is through campaigning for greater legal protection, through an amendement to the IWC rulings.

Since the sinking of the Ady Gil this issue has risen to the surface once again, and Watson’s tactics contin-

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The Sea Shepherd fights its wars by the minuite, and by the whale. ue to divide. Phillip Hoare, whale enthusiast and author of 2008 book on whales, Leviathon, wrote an article for the Guardian newspaper, praising Watson’s Ahabian tenacity. The comparison to the wild captain of the whaling ship in Moby Dick holds an ironic truth as Watson remains utterly dogmatic in his beliefs, and often reckless in his actions. He is a pragmatist to the end, and claims to have saved exactly 350 whales during the lifespan of the SSCS. Hoare challenges the assertion by Bibi Van Der Zee in her critical article, who argues that Watson’s tactics

only encourage the violent response made evident in the attack on the Ady Gil. Van Der Zee asigns Watson to the “moral grey area” in people’s minds that surrounds violence against property.

Watson, she claims, admits to ramming boats himself, just as the Shonun Maru did, but defends his actions as a necessary tactic. Accusations against him have placed his mission in the realm of ‘ecoterrorism’, protest that permits violence. Watson’s retort is that he is not protesting against an injustice but actively intervening and preventing a specific wrong. The Sea Shepherd fights its wars by the minuite, and indeed by the whale.

Hoare’s book gives a fascinating history of the whaling industry, the huge wealth it brought, and the irreversible destruction it caused.

Watson claims that since the moratorium 25,000 whales have been slaughtered by Iceland, Norway and Japan and that several species are desperately in danger of extinction. There is undoubtedly an element of the ridiculous about Watson and his very personal campaign. Ego aside, however, the Sea Shepherd team, with their celebrity entourage and high octane documentary, is doing more than any other organisation to bring the horrors of contemporary whaling to public attention.

In response to criticism of the Ady Gil collision, Watson sums up his manifesto in a fittingly bizarre statement; “We don’t care what any human thinks, find me a whale that disagrees and I promise we will not do it again.”

Lily Power

19

The University Times | Wednesday, January 20th

TimesMUSIc

Dawn of a new decade in Irish music

X Factor prevails in the New Year’s charts

Yan Bourke takes a look at the current state of the Irish music scene and some of its upcoming acts.

With a new decade beginning, there’s a lot of assessment of the old decade’s music going on right now. But it’s also a good time to think about how things stand now for the Irish music scene, and how that makes its future look.

Dublin’s Unsigned... The Best Of, is a compilation CD that was released last month. Of the 14 acts featured, I only know a handful, like TCD perennials Killer Chloe. But, I know a lot of other Irish bands – bands that I’d rank alongside any international acts, and among my personal favourites, for whatever either of those honours are worth. I think it’s a good sign of the health of the scene that you can’t even fit all the good bands on one best-of CD (although some of the best do already have record deals). The Irish music scene is starting a new decade with a great variety of topcalibre music, some other strengths, and, unfortunately, at least one weakness that I can think of.

As the Dublin’s Unsigned website proudly announces, the compilation “combines a plethora of genres from contemporary folk right through to electronic pop”, to showcase

the great variety of “aptitude” in the Dublin Music scene. Unfortunate word choice aside (I can’t imagine they intended to imply that they were showcasing the variety of the ability Dublin’s musicians possess), it’s true: Irish people are making a lot of different kinds of music. Older friends remember dark days when all that was on offer was legions of Damien Rice clones; if that was ever true, it certainly isn’t now. There’s the frantic noise rockinfluenced sound of Richter Collective bands like Adebisi Shank and BATS, the chilled electronic music of Hunter-Gatherer and Trinity’s own Angkorwat, small but respectable hiphop and metal scenes represented by Messiah J and The Expert and Primordial, twee-pop and punk from bands like Jonny Fun and the... Hesitations, Ugly Megan, Chewing On Tinfoil, Duck-Proof Chimney, straight indie-rock like The Funeral Suits and Land Lovers, and post-rock from Halves, Gran Casino, Dublin veterans The Jimmy Cake. I could go on, but this is already enough of an exercise in namedropping.

The scene isn’t isolated, even without

The Irish music scene is filled with a variety of acts including Gran Casino (above), Babybeef (left) and the energetic Fight Like Apes (below).

Photos: Yan Bourke

News and Views

considering the biggest bands like The Script and The Coronas. Fight Like Apes are touring regularly abroad and Heathers have linked in to the American folk-punk scene, touring with Ghost Mice and releasing their album on Plan-It-X records. Chewing On Tinfoil’s debut album, Get Rich Or Try Dyin’, is being released for download on a donation basis by archDIY band Bomb The Music Industry’s online record label.

For all that, the Irish scene is still pretty compact, even relative to Britain’s. But even this is one of its strengths, it means you get more eclectic line-ups at gigs and that bands get to know and help each other out. In bigger cities, a band is likely to be supported by bands playing the same genre. In Ireland, there sometimes just aren’t enough to go around, so I have posters on my wall from gigs where BATS were supported by singersongwriter Squarehead, and dance/hip-hop duo You’re Only Massive were supported by Land Lovers and RSAG’s solo blues-rock. Gigs in The Lower Deck can be even more eclectic, and even from personal experience I’ve found it’s sometimes the only way to find enough bands who are free on the night. But it makes gigs much more fun, and lets the audience in on a much wider variety of music than they might otherwise find out about.

The support system for the Irish music scene is pretty good, and improving in some ways too. The closure of Eamonn Dorans is the end of an institution, and its successor and whatever they’re calling The Hub these days are charging much more than they used to. But they were never particularly pleasant venues; the Academy 2 and The Twisted Pepper are both nicer and cheaper for an independent promoter to hire. As well as that, with the opening of Exchange this year there’s finally a place where alcohol-free, all-ages gigs can be held in the city centre. It’s not an issue for most Trinity students anymore, but I remember well the needless hassle of trying to get into gigs that could only be held in bars before turning 18. Ireland has its own independent labels like the Richter Collective

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Older friends remember dark days of legions of Damien Rice clones; if that was ever true, it certainly isn’t now.

and Hide Away Records (and their Hide Away House is another great informal venue, but it’s all the way out in Deansgrange).

The one weakness I can think of is that Ireland’s recording studios can never seem to capture the energy of our bands’ live performances. Bands like Adebisi Shank and even Fight Like Apes (who recorded their album in Seattle – maybe it’s some sort of curse) are far more intense live. Even BATS, whose 2009 album Red In Tooth And Claw (produced by a member of Converge – one of the Three Metalcore Bands You’re Allowed To Like) bristles with tension, are explosive live. It’s not a universal problem; quieter, more introspective bands like The Holy Roman Army or The Hollows fare pretty well, but it is a sad feature of the scene that most fans I talk to sigh and agree with.

So, what does this all add up to? The Irish music scene is entering the new decade with a huge variety of top-quality bands and performers, increasingly linked into the wider world, playing eclectic shows together, looking out for each other and with a growing number of new places to perform. Maybe I’ve painted too idealistic a picture, but whatever way you look at it, we definitely have a good thing going right now.

Yan Bourke

In what may well be remembered as one of the most significant music industry events of the 00s, Rage Against The Machine’s ‘Killing In The Name’ managed to beat the latest X Factor single, ‘The Climb’, to the Christmas #1 spot in the UK, and come in at #2 in Ireland.

The campaign to make this happen was reportedly based on taking a stance against the monotony of the X Factor’s chart dominance, in an effort to inject a bit of fun and variety back into the race for Christmas #1. (a similar campaign started up last year, to get Jeff Buckley’s version of ‘Hallelujah’ in at #1) Since the week of Christmas however, charts have settled and returned to their usual trends, with ‘The Climb’ maintaining its #1 spot for the last two weeks in Ireland, while ‘Killing In The Name’ slipped down the list and disappeared.

Meanwhile in the UK ‘The Climb’ made it to #1 the week after Christmas, but has since been replaced by Lady Gaga’s ‘Bad Romance’. What remains to be seen is whether the campaign’s brief but explosive success will have any resonance in the future.

Conor Sneyd

Meteor Awards nominees announced The nominees for this year’s Meteor Ireland Music Awards were announced on January 7th. Of the 14 categories, 8 (all Irish) are open to public vote, while the remaining 6 (5 international, plus the “Best Folk/Traditional” – consisting entirely of Irish acts but apparently not an area the public can be trusted on?) are not.

The Irish sections are largely unexciting – U2, the Coronas, Delorentos, Bell X1, Snow Patrol, Westlife, the Script, the Blizzards, etc. – not bad acts, just ones that have already been around for years (and years and years and years in the case of some), and most of which fit more or less into the exact same genre.

The international categories are slightly more diverse, featuring some more fresh and exciting acts such as Florence and the Machine and Lady Gaga.

Fortunately there is some recognition for innovative new Irish acts, in the form of the “Most Promising New Artist of 2010” competition, the winner of which will receive all the professional services required to release a single, and a chance to perform at Oxegen later this year.

The top 10 applicant acts will be selected online by the public, then a professional panel will narrow this down to a shortlist of 5 (based on “on composition, lyrics, melody and originality”), and finally the public will vote again to decide the overall winner.

Conor Sneyd

Album Reviews

Codeine Velvet Club

Cold War Kids

Ke$ha

Codeine Velvet Club

Behave Yourself (EP)

Animal

Label Island Records

Label Downtown Records

Label RCA Records

One has to have a good digestive system and a capricious palate in order to appreciate the well dosed up blend of tunes in each surprisingly well-performed song.

Lawler and Hickey must be very nostalgic for the 20th century’s music, as they managed to mingle the sounds of the great bands of the 40s with the Beach Boys of the 60s, sprinkled with a boogiepop-like style and other combinations of musical instruments that surely make you understand the name of the album.

Codeine Velvet Club have balanced sounds and nice alternating male/female voices, giving us a dose of relief and understanding of the good intentions in trying a different approach to interpreting the needs of the new and different.

Surely you can try it out and hear them yourselves, as they offer free downloads and you can find their videos online.

Leaving behind the first decade of the 21st century we find this album to be an attempt at uniqueness, but I would suggest more work will have to be done to achieve this goal. Listening to the songs gives the sensation of being at the lobby of a tourists’ hotel down in America, or listening to the background music of a

series or TV movie. I could also imagine myself driving away for a picnic, which is not very feasible in this weather… but let’s dream on and drive along to ‘Hollywood’, meeting my ‘Little Sister’. So ‘Reste Avec Moi’ while I have ‘Time’ to see if we go to ‘Nevada’ and shine ‘Like a Full Moon’, ‘Begging Bowl Blues’ and though ‘Vanity Kills’, I can shout ‘I Am The Resurrection’!

Although the mixtures of sounds work, not much energy is felt but the melancholy of an attempt at the discovery of a new-era sound. Marketing has shown that repetition of a new song will finally get you and will make roots in your brain for the obvious involuntary recollection of a rhythm of a catchy song. Having heard the entire album several times made me relax but makes me forget what it was about.

Maria Copley You can find Codeine Velvet Club’s selftitled album available to download, along with some videos from the band, on their website: www.codeinevelvetclub.com

Cold War Kids have been slowly building up a loyal fan base for half a decade – it may seem a boring way to crawl toward recognition in a time of gimmick and fast-track fame, but they are a band of sufficient quality that their steady climb may lead to them being esteemed in the future as one of the untouchable greats, in a way that only people who do things the old-fashioned way can achieve. The bluesy traces of the old South create some of the finest moments on Behave Yourself but Cold War Kids also cite Radiohead’s OK Computer as one of their biggest influences – this fusion creates an original style yet is firmly grounded in (and maybe obsessed with) backward vision, charting the trajectory of the modern Western musical tradition, from the blues to indie rock. The lyrics of this EP also seem to be concerned with past cultures. As in previous releases frontman Nathan Willett sings ambiguously anecdotal lyrics, concerned with the sins and mistakes of unnamed characters, creating an almost otherworldly atmosphere that communicates all at once the ideas of ignorance, lethargy, anxiety and circumvention of

overriding Christian norms that we associate with our recent heritage.

Intro song ‘Audience of One’ is instantly exciting, with an addictive rhythm and trademark lyrics that perfectly evoke the thrill of vintage and degeneracy. It is a song that seems cheekily aware of how good it is but also the tensions and contradictions in its style and the lonely place the band occupies, always seeming to be on the cusp of major mainstream success but never reaching it. The EP is worth buying for this song alone. This moves into the lazily melodious calm of ‘Coffee Spoon’ and ‘Santa Ana Winds’, which sounds like the song a more troubled, gin-soaked Vampire Weekend might write. The fourth song, ‘Sermons’, is classic Cold War Kids. The last track, ‘Baby Boy’, sounds like it’s gearing up to be a fast track as exciting as ‘Audience of One’, but suddenly cuts off after 37 seconds, an ignominious finish for a great EP. It’s a clear message: Cold War Kids may be a very good band, but they refuse to be easy.

James Hagan

With her debut single, ‘Tik Tok’, topping charts all over the world in late 2009, it looks like Ke$ha’s Animal is going to be one of the first hugely successful albums of the 10s. Unfortunately if it’s in any way representative of things to come, it looks like we’re in for one obnoxious decade (but in a kind of endearing way).

Sounding like your typical teenage American bubblegum-popstar who decided to try and cash in on the trend of female vocalists going batshit crazy, without ever losing touch with her roots, Ke$ha comes across as a weird Miley Cyrus/ Lady Gaga hybrid. Her songs feature grating, semi-rapped vocals over generic electropop accompaniment, with lyrics which revolve around her partying and how badly everybody wants her. There are some undeniably catchy moments, but these are drowned out in obnoxiousness, and the songs all sound so alike that once you finish listening to one it becomes impossible to distinguish it from all the others.

Though for all that there’s something endearing about the album. Maybe it’s because, in the interests of gender equality, it’s nice to hear men being

objectified for a change, as in ‘Boots and Boys’ (“They bring me so much joy / I wear ‘em both so pretty as I walk in the city”). Maybe it’s because her website features a story about the time she apparently broke into Prince’s house to give him her demo for him to produce her. More likely though it’s down to the fact that the obnoxiousness is so unashamed and irreverent that the whole thing feels like a light-hearted joke on the listener: songs like ‘Stephen’ and ‘Dinosaur’ are so completely bizarre that it’s impossible not to laugh with them; while ‘Dancing With Tears In My Eyes’ is the album’s rough equivalent of an emotional ballad, with lyrics such as “Welcome to my funeral… / All alone it’s dark and cold / With every move I die” sung over a synthy accompaniment that sounds exactly like every other song, only with a slightly slower beat.

At the end of the album I’m certain I didn’t enjoy listening to it, but I’m left with a faint, inexplicable affection for the artist…

Conor Sneyd

20

Wednesday, January 20th | The University Times

TimesSCIENce & Technology

Challenging Climate Change Cormac Farrell tackles the issue of climate change and whether it is actually a natural process rather than a man-made problem.

I recently heard a group of campaigners marching passionately up Nassau Street in Dublin chanting ‘Stop Climate Chaos’ with reference to mancaused climate change. To me the only chaos seems to be the debate that has arisen between two opposing views those who say humans are responsible for climate change and those who say humans are not responsible for climate change. Climate is chaotic by its very nature. It almost seems now that every calamitous climatic event, whether it be flash flooding, hurricanes or heat waves is somehow a result of human activity.

This is not an unusually warm time.

As the Earth recovers from the ‘Little Ice Age’ the current cycle of glacier melting began around 1800 and is unaffected

by hydrocarbon use. The Sun, not hydrocarbons, controls temperature, and temperature varies for reasons unrelated to hydrocarbons.

The Milankovitch theory suggests that normal cyclical variations in three of the Earth’s orbital characteristics are what are responsible for past climatic change. The basic idea behind this theory assumes that over time these three cyclic events vary the amount of solar radiation that is received on the Earth’s surface and it is this which in turns varies our climate.

There are also claims made about the weather. There is no indication it is getting worse. U.S. rainfall is increasing at 1.8 inches per century. The number of violent tornados is actually decreasing.

Atlantic hurricanes making landfall have not increased. In any given year it might be low, it might be high, but the trend is basically flat. Violent hurricanes and maximum hurricane wind speeds have not increased. Graphs show a flat line. But the fact is that atmospheric carbon dioxide (CO2) has risen 30% in the last century almost exclusively, (we’re told), due to hydrocarbons produced and released by human activity. But there’s another very important point.When you warm the oceans, CO2 is naturally released from ocean because it is less soluble in warmer water, and so the level of CO2 in the atmosphere rises. During previous interglacial periods (periods between Ice ages, like now), CO2 rose 50% due to temperature dependent ocean out-gassing.

In his documentary, ‘An Inconvenient Truth’, Al Gore displayed two graphs showing inclining temperature and inclining atmospheric CO2 to indicate to audiences that CO2 drives temperature.

If he had superimposed the two graphs

we would see that temperature goes up first, then CO2 lags behind, not the other way round.

One of the first things I learned in Junior Freshman biology lectures was that ‘We are a carbon-based life form’.

Plants obtain their carbon atoms from

“

this relates to plants. All the carbon in your body comes from atmospheric carbon. When atmospheric CO2 increases, plant fertilization is increased. Recent studies indicate that elevated CO2 causes a more persistent stimulation of biomass increment and photosynthe-

The most important substances that make life possible are water, oxygen, and carbon dioxide. They are definitely not atmospheric pollutants.

CO2. Animals obtain their carbon atoms from plants.

Carbon is the structural element of all organic molecules in living things. The most important substances that make life possible are water, oxygen, and carbon dioxide. They are definitely not atmospheric pollutants.

We do get one benefit from the CO2 we are releasing into the atmosphere, and

sis than previously expected. Not only do plants grow faster when CO2 level is higher - plants actually require less water and respond more when under stress than when not under stress. Percentage growth enhancement will increase 50100% if CO2 levels in the atmosphere go to 600ppm (parts per million). CO2 has risen from just under 300ppm a hundred years ago to the current 383ppm

A vintage year for Trinity’s Professor Luke O’Neill

Google launches the Nexus One smartphone

2009 was an exceptional year for one Trinity science graduate. The Boyle medal for exceptional advances in scientific research was inaugurated in 1889 and over the years it has been won by many distinguished scientists, including John Joly (1911), Patrick Cunningham (1996) and Garret A. FitzGerald (2005). Recently, one of Trinity’s very own lecturers, Professor Luke O’Neill won this very prestigious award for his ground breaking research into the molecular understanding of innate immunity and inflammatory diseases. O’Neill was also announced in November by Minister Brian Leninhen as winner of Science Foundation Ireland’s first “researcher of the year” award. On recognition of his outstanding achievements, Minister Lenihan stated: “Luke O’Neill has achieved exceptional scientific research outputs in immunology, and has made a profound contribution to Ireland’s research community in the process.”

Professor O’Neill began his academic career as a science student of Trinity College Dublin and graduated with a first class honours degree in biochemistry, of which he is now Professor. He went on to complete a Ph.D. in Pharmacology at the University of London (Royal College of Surgeons) in 1988. As an enthusiastic lecturer, a prolific researcher, and a major contributor to international understanding of topics such as inflammation, Professor O’Neill is a key player in the world of immunology.

O’Neill has gained international recognition for his outstanding work in the discovery and extensive research into toll-like receptors, inflammatory diseases such as rheumatoid arthritis and development of malaria through molecular based research. Probably the most well-known research to eminate from O’Neill’s lab was the discovery of a human

Google’s Nexus One, heralded as a contender to Apple’s all-mighty iPhone, was unleashed at an invitation only event earlier in the month at Google’s Mountain View Headquarters in California.

There can be no doubt that this new smartphone is a force to be reckoned with.

Manufactured by Taiwanese based HTC, the phone is available exclusively from Google via their website (google.com/phone) meaning that unlike other smartphones including the iPhone, you have the immediate option to buy it “unlocked” although at a considerable price ($529 unlocked or $179 with two-year contract to TMobile). The ability to make phone calls is a mere aside as unsurprisingly the device is a stated “multi-purpose computing device” and is thus laden with all the bells and whistles you’d expect and a little more.

Aesthetically it’s a beauty to behold. Without getting into pounds and inches, the Nexus is both lighter and slimmer than the iPhone and comes with a slightly larger touch screen. The device is also more powerful and comes with more RAM but has only 4GB storage (although this is expandable to 32GB with a removable SD card – a feature the

protein called MAL in white blood cells (lymphocytes) that acts as a master switch or an alarm system, turning on the immune response to harmful bacteria which can pose a huge threat to the body – a process which for so many years was misunderstood. This in turn directs the function and response of toll like receptors, a class of proteins that play a key role in the innate immune system to trigger inflammation.

They are single membranespanning non-catalytic receptors that recognize structurally conserved molecules derived from microbes, bacterial or viral pathogens that can cause infection. He also had many other impressive advances with his research team in the last couple of years alone. Their research into the pox viruses (e.g. small pox, cow pox) was based around the virus’ many ways of disabling our immune system and diminishing the body’s defenses.

These discoveries could lead to better treatment for inflammatory diseases such as rheumatoid arthritis, as well as other diseases such as AIDS and malaria.

Professor O’Neill’s advice for budding young scientists?

“If you like biology, sign up!”

On being conferred with the Boyle medal, Professor O’Neill gave a public lecture on “From passion to practical benefits: why it’s great being a scientist!” at the RDS on Monday, November 16, 2009.

Sarah Edwards A podcast of Prof. O’Neill’s lecture can be found at universitytimes.ie/links/st81

iPhone lacks). A negative is that apps can only be stored on the phones internal memory which at 512Mb means space will be severely limited. Google have already insisted however that this ‘feature’ will be dropped in the near future.

As for battery life, the specs say a single charge will give you 250hrs standby, 7hrs talk and video playback or 20 hrs audio playback. Not bad considering the battery is keeping a 1 GHz beast of a processor ticking over.

Looking at features, the inclusion of Google’s Voice recognition technology certainly stands out and if it’s as good as they say it is, typing text messages and facebook updates are a thing of the past as every text field can be controlled via voice commands. First touch, now voice – we’ve come a long way in past 12 months.The Nexus also comes with a 5 megapixel camera complete with built-in LCD flash easily beating iPhone’s flash-devoid 3 megapixel version.

The Android 2.1 operating system (OS) still doesn’t have the goods on the iPhone’s OS with many users reporting the user-interface to be “rough around the edges” and lacking the polish of its competitors. It does come with access to a well stocked (18,000+) app store. This

Google’s Nexus One phone, manufactured by HTC. pales in comparison to Apple’s stock of over 100,000 but is set to flourish with the wider availability of Android running smartphones on the market.

Vodafone have already secured the initial rights to sell the Nexus in the UK this spring. However unlike the iPhone, Google doesn’t want to be tied to one operator

preferring to get the phone “into as many hands as possible” meaning that we can expect to see tie-ins with multiple mobile operators.

Its debut in other European countries is set for later in 2010 with no information as yet on an Irish release date.

Enda Shevlin

Overview: Nexus One vs. iPhone Processor Speed On-Board Memory Storage Memory Battery Life Screen Size Camera Multitouch Wifi GPS Supported File Formats No. of Apps Available Multitasking Price

iPhone 3GS 600 MHz 256 MB internal RAM 16 or 32 GB 5hr talk, 300hr standby 3.5” 3 megapixels w/ video recording & editing Yes Yes Yes MPEG4, MP3, AAC, WAV 100,000+ No $199 ($599 without contract)

Google Nexus One 1 GHz (1,024 MHz) 512 MB internal RAM 4 GB (expandable to 32 GB via SD slot) 7hr talk, 250hr standby 3.7” 5 megapixels w/ LED flash & video recording No (European model will include it) Yes Yes MPEG4, MP3, AAC, WAV, WMA 18,000 Yes $179 ($529 without contract)

level: already young pine trees are growing 72% faster because of the higher CO2 levels.

It is expected that if we continue to use hydrocarbons, as we should, because we need them for our energy, the CO2 level may eventually reach 600ppm. At that level these plants will all be growing even faster. This is a wonderful and unexpected gift from the Industrial Revolution.

To summarise, I believe there is little or no evidence to categorically implicate human hydrocarbon use as the source of our supposed climate woes. Hydrocarbon use is increasing the amounts and diversity of plants and animals on the Earth. Global taxation and rationing of energy will end this environmental improvement.

Challenging a consensus is an amazing tool for people to remain free and independent thinkers.

Cormac Farrell

Gift giving – the perfect way to de-stress?

There is nothing that changes your regular routine more than Christmas. From cooking a turkey – a feat you haven’t tried from one end of the year to the other – to entertaining guests you only see a few times a year. This disruption to what it knows best is the worst thing for the psyche. What the psyche loves more than anything though is to be rewarded and there is nothing more rewarding than giving someone that ideal present.

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that is associated with the pleasure system of the brain. It provides feelings of enjoyment and reinforcement which motivate people to perform certain activities. For this reason, more than 50 years of research has gone into studying the possible links between dopamine and reward.

A textbook definition of reward is that it is the activity of neural circuits that function to maintain an animal’s contact with certain environmental stimuli, either now or in the future. By this reasoning, there must be something about the activity that the animal perceives to be pleasant. In 1954, Olds and Milner discovered that a rat would press a bar repeatedly to administer brief bursts of electrical stimulation to specific sites in the brain, a phenomenon known as intracranial self-stimulation, or brainstimulation reward. In 1966, Wise explained this by stating that brain stimulation must be activating the system underlying reward. After almost 50 years of research, it was found that this is where dopamine comes in.

Stimulation to parts of the brain such as the lateral hypothalamus and the medial forebrain bundle activate the mesolimbic dopamine pathway, sending dopaminecontaining terminals to various sites in the brain, such as the nucleus acumbens, a collection of neurons thought to

play a role in reward, laughter, and other positive feelings.

There are several reasons for believing that this pathway is involved in the sensation of reward. For one, there is a marked increase in dopamine release when animals are engaged in intracranial stimulation. Also, the amount of dopamine released seems to somehow determine how rewarding an event is. As well as this, actions such as feeding, sexual activity or highly addictive drugs such as nicotine and cocaine, prove to increase

“

All of this shows that there must be an important link between dopamine release and the sensation of reward. the level of dopamine found in the nucleus acumbens.

All of this goes to show that there must be an important link between dopamine and reward. Like the rats pressing the bar, giving gifts has no obvious positive effect on our fitness or wellbeing. Gifts are not usually given so that the giver will get one in return.

So there must be something about gift giving that the giver enjoys.

Giving presents is a brainstimulation reward event that sets dopamine neurons firing and makes you feel happy. So there’s something to think about next Christmas or indeed any time when it all gets a bit much – give someone a present!

Rachael Maguire

21

The University Times | Wednesday, January 20th

Sports

Fabrice Estebanez tackled by Shane Horgan.

Leinster and Munster’s passage to Heineken Cup final remains on track Fearghal Hughes looks at the provinces quest for Heineken Cup glory.

L

ike any French team Brive have never been great on the road but they really do make opposition sweat. Brive kept the Heineken Cup Champions waiting until the 80th minute for that elusive 4th try which secured the bonus point, just like they had done to London Irish in the earlier rounds. Internationals dotted the French team with Alex Popham, who is currently trying to force his way back into Warren Gatlands mindset for Wales with the 6 Nations fast approaching and Steve Thompson the English World Cup winner hooker putting in solid performances.

Leinster started the game with arguably their strongest line-up clearly laying down a marker of intent as to how serious a threat they viewed their French rivals, this game was vitally important if the reigning Champs were to come even close to retaining their crown. Despite being at full strength with Shane Jennings and Johnny Sexton returning to the fold they never really got into their stride despite dominating both possession and territory for long periods of the game and they were made to fight tooth and nail for this hard fought bonus point.

Despite their domination Leinster went in at the break with only a bonus try 7-0 lead to show for their efforts after their pack had been knocking on the door with a series of five meter scrums before the ref finally awarded Leinster a deserved lead which Sexton duly converted. Following a Sexton penalty it was left to Isa Nacewa to

add the finishing touches to a well worked backline move with the ever mercurial Brian O’Driscoll involved throughout. Despite a now comfortable 15-0 lead Brive refused to lie over and die with Retief Uys ploughing over to ensure the match as a contest at the very least stayed alive. Despite clawing a try back you felt it was only a matter of time before the Blues added a third try courtesy of Gordon D’Arcy in the 67th minute. Leinster lead 22-5 until Spedding added a second Brive try to make it 22-10.

With Leinster needing one more try to secure the bonus point win, ‘’Cometh the hour Cometh the Man’’ yet again Leinsters talisman for nearly the last decade Brian O’ Driscoll came to the fore latching on to Shane Horgans deftest of flicks to score in the corner with the last play of the game.

This victory puts Leinster within touching distance of the Heineken Cup Quarter Finals as BOD and Co. look to add to last

“

This victory puts Leinster within touching distance of the Heineken Cup Quarter Finals as BOD and Co. look to add to last years triumph.

years triumph.

Munster will hardly find an easier game away from home in the Heineken Cup this season. 6 Tries guaranteed a bonus point victory over the hapless Italians in front of their home crowd. This victory puts them clear at the top of Pool One despite the Northampton Saints demolition of Perpignan on Sunday afternoon. If as expected Munster see off the Saints challenge next weekend in Thommond Park which as we know has been somewhat of a fortress for the Reds over the past few years they will have safely progressed to the quarter finals for yet another year as they bid to wrestle their title back from bitter rivals Leinster and win the competition for a 3rd time.

This victory was made all the more impressive when looking at the performance of pool rivals Northampton and Perpignan in Italy. Perpignan, the French Champions failed to win here on the opening week of the competition whilst Northampton failed to take the bonus point and only scraped home by 3 points. There were to be no such hiccups for Munster however with three tries in the opening 11 minutes effectively ending the tie as a contest from then on it was merely a matter of time before they secured that vital bonus point.

They didn’t have to wait long as full-back Paul Warwick secured that elusive bonus point 6 minutes before half time.

Team Manager Shaun Payne the former Munster full back was full of praise for his charges following this fantastic

performance signalling out the backs and especially Paul Warwick and young Irish international Keith Earls for special mention. However this was not merely an amazing performance by the back the forwards got in on the act too with both second row Donnacha O’Callaghan and his namesake Donnacha Ryan grabbing a try apiece in what was one of the Red Armies

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There were to be no such hiccups for Munster however with three tries in the opening eleven minutes effectively ending the tie as a contest. performance of the season.

The only concern for Munster head coach Tony McGahan will be the manner in which his side seemed to take the foot off the accelerator at the beginning of the second half and if a repeat of this happens next week in Thommond O’Connell and Co. will be severely punished by an ever improving Northampton side. That said this performance was one which clearly sent a signal of intent out to all those sides left in the competition that Munster are

still a very serious threat to any side looking to win the Heineken Cup and it will take a serious performance to stop them marching onwards in search of a third Heineken Cup title.

Ulster progress to the quarter finals is less likely in order to ensure qualification they must pick up a bonus point victory against Bath next weekend and also hope Stade Francais leave with nothing from their trip to Edinburgh. It looks unlikely that they will emerge as best runners up due to a low points total and as such their best hope of continuing in European competition this season may lie in European Rugby’s second tier competition the Challenge Cup. In the media of late their has been much talk of a potential Munster /Leinster Cup final and with both sides churning out performances like those seen at the weekend the possibility is a very real one as they have certainly been two of the form sides in Europe this season. Had such a possibility been uttered 5 seasons ago it would have been viewed as completely nonsensical but that clearly shows how far both these provinces have come over the last few years and how far Irish Rugby has come with such quality young Irish players on show at the weekend particularly, Keith Earls, Cian Healy, Rob Kearney, Sean O’Brien the future really is looking bright for the oval ball game on this island.

Fearghal Hughes

MUNSTER v Treviso Munster: 44 Treviso: 7 January 16th, 2010

Leinster V Brive Leinster: 27 Brive: 10 January 16th, 2010

22

Wednesday, January 20th | The University Times

TimesSPORTS Sports Illustrated with Conor O’Toole

Schumacher loses taxi job, returns to Formula One

I

t appears Michael Schumacher (41) has gone senile in his old age. He’s signed to a new contract to drive for Mercerdes-Benz for the next three years, presumably in the safety car. Schumacher won the F1 driving championship seven times, which, compared to Lance Armstrong’s five Tour-de-France wins, shows the German is well hard. Hey Lance, bikes don’t even go that fast! Pussy.

Formula One is renowned as the world’s fastest form of advertising and one of the few sports that nerds can enjoy too.

Just look at that engine. Hot stuff. Personally, I’ve grown less fond of the sport since Schumacher left. Back then, you didn’t have to worry about the result. You knew Schumacher was going to win, so you could spend your time talking about the tyre composition and the new aerodynamic something or other. It was like 2 hour display of how good your engineers were. “Did you see how much we’ve improved our car? We finished in 321.7834 seconds behind Schumacher compared to 322.2482 seconds last race. Suck it, Honda.”

But sadly those days are gone and now annoying young British drivers are winning a lot of races. Not that they are themselves annoying per say (except Hamilton, he’s clearly a prick) but it makes the BBC commentators irritating as hell.

“Jenson Button is driving a fantastic race today!” No, he’s not.

He’s in 8th place. “He’s probably remembering his amazing victory last month in Brazil.” Shut up, he’s going at 248 miles per hour. All he’s remembering right now is how to not die.

I’ve grown less fond of the sport since Schumacher left. Back then, you didn’t have to worry about the result. You knew Schumacher was going to win.

Schumacher retired from Formula One in 2006 after losing a race and breaking the curse put on him by some witches during his childhood.* He then set up a premium taxi service, offering travel times so low that the Taxi Union of Germany, Luftaxikabahn, revoked his licence. There were also allegations of racism, something that German taxi drivers strongly disapprove of.** Michael then went on to achieve a small but devout following as a pop singer, with his song “Love at 248 MPH” charting at #23 in the German charts.*** After a prolonged battle with testicular cancer, Schumacher eventually got back on his bike and won his sixth Tour de France in 2008.

Now that the ill-fated Brawn GP team has been bought out

by Mercedes-Benz, it’s looking like next year’s Constructors’ Championship will be even more hotly contested than ever, particularly with Schumacher on board. Most MercedesBenz cars on F1 circuits have been the saloons used as Safety Cars that led the rest of the cars around the track when there’s been a particularly awesome crash. Then a safety lap is performed, so everyone can slow down and have a look. How Schumacher intends to keep up with the F1 cars in such a bank manager’s car with fold down seats and full air conditioning is yet to be seen. At least the seats will be better for his back. It is likely he will implement some of the skills he learnt during

Safety Cars lead the rest of the cars around the track when there’s been a particularly awesome crash. Then a safety lap is performed, so everyone can slow down and have a look. his tenure at Klaus’s Kabs, such as how to take ‘shortcuts’ and how to piss off everyone else on the road. Particularly cyclists.

And another thing that concerns me about the snooker is how does the table know which is the white ball? If you paint all the balls white does that mean you can have infinite games for the price of one? Is it worth the extra cost of paint, brushes, etc? And will an uneven coat impede on play? Snooker tables are at the best of times slightly unlevel. Also who decided green was the correct colour for a field of play? Almost all games are played on something green, and frankly I’m a bit worried this runs deeper than any of us suspect.

Now if David Bowie was a sport, than maybe the overall atmosphere of sporting events would be more friendly and more enthralling, with it’s awesomeness. I mean the hair cuts alone would bring up the rep of sport on their own, sans head.

I mean that opening riff to ‘Rebel, Rebel’ has done more for the excitement of sports events through its use in advertising alone than any game I’ve ever seen. The atmosphere created at even the best of sports events is only barely comparable to the atmosphere created by, let’s say ‘Warszawa’ or ‘Sense of Doubt.’ If fact I can’t imagine any display of athletic prowess that wouldn’t be dramatically improved by the production of Brian Eno. The energy that Bowie can exert on stage, without breaking his cool, is impressive to say the least and terrifying to say more than that.

At the end of the day I think we can all agree that if David Bowie was a sport, at least the chants wouldn’t be so rubbish. * This is not true, and yes, it was the same witches that were in ‘Hamlet.’ ** This is also not true. *** Unfortunately, this one is true.

Premiership Half Term Report As the Premier League passes its half way point resident football expert Gavin Moran grades each team’s progress to this point and assesses what can be done in the January transfer window to rectify each team’s problem in his own inimitable style.

Arsenal

Aston Villa

Birmingham City

Grade I

Grade II.1

Grade I

What’s gone right? Arsene Wenger’s youth policy has been vindicated (almost).

Their entertaining attacking flair is easy on the eye and in Cesc Fabregas they have the Premiership’s and arguably the world’s most in-form midfielder. Their title hopes depend on the strength of his ailing hamstrings.

What’s gone right? A primarily young English side has Villa in a battle for the fourth Champions League spot. The purchase of Richard Dunne from Manchester City for close to £5m could be the best/worst transfer of the season depending on which side of the argument you are on.

What’s gone right? Everything.

13 game record breaking winning streak? Check. Lower league signings performing better than some of their international counterparts?

Check. Retired players returning from the wilderness and now in the best form of their career? Check. Everything Alex McLeish has touched has turned to gold this season.

What’s gone wrong? Long term injuries to key players Nicklas Bendtner and Robin Van Persie have severely limited the Gunners’ striking options. Manuel Almunia’s penchant for conceding almost as many goals as shots he saves has continued and must be a concern.

What’s gone wrong? Primarily young English players are suffering from a lack of form at a crucial stage of the season. Goals from Agbonlahor and assists from Ashley Young have dried up. No wins and no goals in three successive games is starting to look reminiscent of Villa’s second half form from last season.

What’s gone wrong? Nothing really. Only unrealistic expectation could sour this season for City. They are safe and it is only January, their fans could not have hoped for a better first season back in the top flight. Surely the only way from here on is down though?

Solution Ideally a new no.1 and a striker would be snapped up this window. Money is available to Arsene Wenger and he has indicated that he is willing to spend, the capture of veteran Sol Campbell on a free is a remedy to both of Arsenal’s main problems: Inexperience at the back and lack of quality cover.

Solution Difficult to say. Plenty of squad depth at Villa, maybe another striker could be bought as Carew, Agbonlahor and Heskey are not delivering the goals needed to secure a European spot.

Solution New investment is available to buy players who would normally be out of reach for a club of Birmingham’s size but McLeish is understandably reluctant to upset the harmony in his small squad mid season especially with the performances they are delivering.

Blackburn Rovers

Bolton Wanderers

Burnley

Grade II.1

Grade III

Grade II.1

What’s gone right? Typical Sam Allardyce team, not pretty to watch but effective. A League Cup semi-final will probably be the crest of Blackburn’s season which will again end in safety from relegation.

What’s gone right? 26 goals in 19 games is very good for a team in Bolton’s position, with firepower like that should be safe. The form of Gary Cahas been a plus point in this World Cup and has led to him being linked with an chance of a squad place for South Afri-

What’s gone wrong? 39 goals conceded in 22 games is more than West Ham, Wolves, Bolton and Portsmouth who are all below them. Not great from a side who would regard themselves as one of the ‘tougher sides’ in the league.

What’s gone wrong? For a team that finished 13th last season a 19th place berth at this stage of the season is extremely disappointing. The players and fans lack of belief in manager Gary Megson has contributed to the poor start and led to Megson’s dismissal.

What’s gone right? Home form. Five home wins from ten games is mid-table form and would ordinarily see Burnley well safe. Championship players playing to a Premiership standard has also contributed to the good start but can they keep it up?

Solution A master at January bargains Sam Allardyce is expected to dip into his transfer kitty and bolster his squad, one would hope to sign a defender or two.

Solution Sack the manager! Always the solution isn’t it?

Bolton’s squad is strong enough to survive and the hiring of Owen Coyle could lead to a reversal in fortunes at the Reebok Stadium.

they hill season outside ca.

What’s gone wrong? Their away form. One point from a possible thirty three with 34 goals conceded in just 11 games.

Stunning that a team can have such different fortunes on what is to put it lightly just a pitch in another stadium. The loss of their inspirational manager Owen Coyle may prove telling when the season is complete.

Solution With meagre funds available, a raid on the lower divisions looks likely but will the necessary quality to keep the clarets up be available? Doubtful.

Chelsea

Everton

Fulham

Grade II.1

Grade II.1

Grade I

What’s gone right? After two inconsistent seasons which delivered just one FA Cup and one Community shield the appointment of highly successful Carlo Ancelotti appears to be a shrewd one. His players are old but many are enjoying an Indian summer under the manager’s influence

What’s gone right? The form of Louis Saha has been instrumental in keeping Everton in the top half this season, 11 of Everton’s 30 goals in the top flight have come from the French star and his health is of the utmost importance to their progress.

What’s gone right? For a second consecutive season Roy Hodgson has his side competing well above what is expected of them, except this time it is on both domestic and European fronts. Six home wins including the notable scalps of Manchester United and Liverpool is more than impressive.

What’s gone wrong? Poor form from Petr Cech is partly responsible for Chelsea not being further ahead. The uncharacteristic concession of late goals at home is something which has cost them a bigger lead in this, the closest title race in years. How they deal with the loss of Drogba and Essien to the African Cup of Nations is the key to their season.

Solution More of the same! Ancelotti is refusing to add to his squad believing that they possess enough quality to compete on all fronts already. Only time will tell if his trust in his players is repaid.

What’s gone wrong? A terrible injury crisis robbing ‘The Toffees’ of players such as Phil Jagielka and Mikel Arteta is the main reason for the inconsistent form which has Everton maybe a few places below where they belong. Just four home wins from eleven tries is below par.

Solution With little or no money to work with this January it is important for David Moyes to try and keep his key players fit for the run in. Luck with injuries and astute investment in the summer will more than likely see Everton challenging for the European spots next season.

What’s gone wrong? One away win in nine attempts is relatively poor for a team of Fulham’s ability. After an injury to Clint Dempsey this weekend Bobby Zamora stands alone as the major goal threat, should he have fitness issues The Cottagers could struggle.

Solution Ensure press rumours that Roy Hodgson is destined for a bigger job aren’t fulfilled, he has transformed the club from cannon fodder to European contenders in just two years. If the injury to Clint Dempsey is serious a replacement is advisable.

Hull City

Liverpool

Manchester City

Grade II.2 What’s gone right? Four home wins have give Hull hope of staying up. When Jimmy Bullard is fit they look like they can compete with anybody in the league. The signing of Stephen Hunt was a clever one, 5 goals from midfield a good return.

Grade III

Grade I

What’s gone right? From a purely subjective point of view? Everything! Objectively it is heartening to see the fans standing by their manager and realising despite the media hype that he only picks the team and cannot be held accountable for lack of form and effort from some of his senior professionals.

What’s gone right? The signings of Roberto Mancini as manager and Carlos Tevez. City have been transformed from a midtable side under Mark Hughes to potential title contenders under Mancio almost overnight it seems. A comprehensive 2-0 loss to Everton this weekend brought their fans back down to Earth but they will be over their blue moon if they can knock local rivals Manchester United out of the League Cup and secure a first trophy since 1976.

What’s gone wrong? Jimmy Bullard’s knee. Again. He is crucial to Hull’s chance of safety, and average of 2 goals conceded per game hasn’t helped. Four points from 11 away games isn’t a great record and needs to be improved.

Solution Hull have weaknesses all over the park but it is in the middle where they are lacking most when Bullard is not fit. The old adage appears again though: How do you replace the irreplaceable?

What’s gone wrong? Spending £20m on a player not available for the first two months of the season is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the eccentric Spaniard’s transfer dealings. Liverpool have been in this position before in 2005 when they actually failed to make the top four but success in the European Cup allowed them to receive special dispensation to compete in the competition the following year. An early exit means there is no such get out clause this time.

Solution Squad strengthening is the only way forward for Benitez and he has already shown signs of movement with the free transfer deal for Argentinian international Maxi Rodriguez. It is questionable however whether funds are available to buy in January.

What’s gone wrong? What must be the most expensively assembled defence ever has conceded a disappointing 30 goals in just 21 games and but for the form of Shay Given it could be much worse. An injury to Joleon Lescott appears to have sparked a change in City’s fortunes though. An expensive flop for just £24m at the time of print.

Solution With a limitless source of money City can afford to buy every other club in the Premier League and still have change in the billions.Any gaps that Mancini feels his side has will be filled by an expensive potentially world class signing.

23

The University Times | Wednesday, January 20th

TimesSPORTS Manchester United

Portsmouth

Stoke City

Sunderland

Grade II.1

Grade F

Grade II.1

Grade II.2

What’s gone right? Wayne Rooney finally delivering the goals his talent has promised and Ryan Giggs continuing his excellent form from last season have been high points in a stop-start season for the champions. Have encountered many obstacles this season including the worst injury crisis seen in Ferguson’s 23 years but the fact they are still contending on almost all fronts is a testament to the squad the old master has built.

What’s gone right? Four wins with the marquee 2-0 win over Liverpool are the only bright spots in what has been a miserable season so far for the South coast club.

What’s gone right? Their defence, an inspired Thomas Sorensen leads a Stoke defence which has conceded just 26 goals in 21 games a more than admirable record. Five home wins has them in 11th place, one better than last year’s impressive debut finish.

What’s gone right? The signing of Darren Bent was high risk for £10m but he has duly delivered with 14 league goals registered already this campaign.

Five home wins is again a high point but just one away is more than worrying.

What’s gone wrong? The aforementioned injury crisis. With almost £100m worth of players unavailable for large quantities of the season United have suffered five Premier league defeats before the New Year for the first time in over a decade and the embarrassing defeat at home to lowly Leeds United was the worst result in the club’s recent history.

What’s gone wrong? The players aren’t being paid on time and subsequently are disillusioned and this is showing on the pitch. There is enough quality in the squad to stay up when compared with their contemporaries but the deep uncertainty behind the scenes is badly affecting the squad.

Solution Paying their players on time would be a start. Debt may force them into selling some of their stars and this would lead to an almost unavoidable relegation.

What’s gone wrong? Their attack. A miserable 19 goals in 21 games just isn’t good enough. Their five strikers have 8 goals between them with the top scorer honours being shared by Dave Kitson and Tuncay Sanli with an unimpressive 2 goals.

What’s gone wrong? An injury to Lee Cattermole has had more of an effect on Sunderland than most would have predicted. A lowly 13th for a squad possessing as much quality as they have must put manager Steve Bruce under pressure.

10 losses is a bad statistic for a team with aspirations of a top half finish.

Solution A replacement keeper for the in demand Sorensen may be necessary but otherwise Stoke should be fine and don’t need to spend any cash this transfer window.

Solution A new goalkeeper to replace the injury prone Craig Gordon and a centre midfielder to replace the influential Lee Cattermole are the Black Cats’ priorities.

Solution With £75m at his disposal according to Sir Alex (although many would dispute this), a creative midfielder must be bought. One wonders what United would achieve if they had somebody like Cesc Fabregas in a team already containing Rooney, Ferdinand and Evra.

Tottenham Hotspur

West Ham United

Wigan Athletic

Wolverhampton

Grade II.1

Grade II.2

Grade II.2

Grade II.1

What’s gone right? Solid at the back and scoring goals for fun, Spurs occupy a top 4 place at the half way point of the season albeit only on goal difference. 14 goals from Jermaine Defoe is an excellent return but they must get more from Robbie Keane (6 goals) and Peter Crouch (4 goals) if they are to maintain their challenge.

What’s gone right? Gianfranco Zola has his young squad playing nice football and they are beginning to turn the corner now.

The fitness of experienced players like Robert Green, Scott Parker and Matthew Upson is vital to the Hammers’ prospects of surviving.

What’s gone right? Hugo Rodallega has again scored crucial goals for the cause, three away wins is a positive point but only three home wins from 10 games must be a concern.

What’s gone right? One of the favourites to go down Wolves have surprised a few observers being place just outside the relegation zone after 22 games. Crucial home wins against Burnley and Bolton must be replicated later in the season if Mick McCarthy’s men are to escape the drop.

What’s gone wrong? Avoidable home defeats to Stoke and Wolves have Spurs a f e w points shy of where they should be. The fitness of Ledley King is again in doubt and Spurs look worse without him.

Solution Harry Redknapp is famous for his transfer dealings and ‘Houdini’ may need to conjure up a few tricks to give Spurs the edge in the Champions League race.

What’s gone wrong? Uncertainty at board room level has dogged the club all season and is affecting the players. West Ham’s usually solid home form is below expectations this season with only 3 home wins.

Solution A quick decision on who is going to buy the club is needed so Zola is given as much time as possible to get new signings in, otherwise West Ham could be in trouble.

Another one tells the truth Gavin Moran injects a fresh point of view into the steroid scandal which continues to fracture the American public’s confidence in their national game.

A

fter a decade of refusing to comment on his reported steroid abuse, St. Louis Cardinals slugger and potential Hall of Fame candidate Mark McGwire has admitted to using steroids on and off over a ten year period. A sporting legend in the United States he is more commonly known on these shores for appearing in an episode of the popular TV show ‘The Simpsons’. In 1998 McGwire would participate in a truly historic home run chase where both he and Sammy Sosa of the Chicago cubs would smash Roger Maris’s 37 year old record of 61 home runs. In a tightly fought contest where they matched each other hit for hit over a 6 month period it was McGwire who eventually won out finishing with an impressive tally of 70 home runs to Sosa’s 66.

In that same year though was the far less publicised admission from the Cardinals star that he used androstenedione, an over the counter muscle enhancement drug which was deemed illegal by the NFL, IOC and World Anti Doping Agency at the time but not as fate may have it by Major League Baseball (It was eventually outlawed in 2004).

This admission was forced after an article was written questioning the legality of his sudden, historic surge in power. As displayed in all sports, great success is met with great doubt and even greater scrutiny.

The steroid era as the late ‘80s to mid ‘00s is known had already claimed the reputations of some of the game’s greatest player s namely Alex Rodriguez, Jason Giambi, Jose Canseco and many more but McGwire had steadfastly refused to acknowledge any questioning of his achievements.

Why the sudden change in heart? Two reasons: Firstly and most importantly he was offered a job as hitting coach with his beloved Cardinals, he obviously felt he had to be honest with himself before he could start trying to be sincere with his players.

Secondly, the Hall of Fame. History has not looked fondly on those who have admitted to the use of illegal substances.

Under a cloud of suspicion and needing 75% of votes from national journalists to be enshrined in Cooperstown, New York (location of the Hall of Fame) he obviously felt honesty was the best policy-better late than never one must observe.

“

drugs and that the best should indeed be recognised.

The other side believes however that while this was the ‘steroid era’ there are those who did not use and only those who are 100% free of doubt and have achieved Hall of Fame

The steroid era as the late ‘80s to mid ‘00s is known had already claimed the reputations of some of the game’s greatest player s namely Alex Rodriguez, Jason Giambi, Jose Canseco and many more

Voting tallies of just 23.5%, 23.6%, 21.9% and 23.7% further outline the fact that if you are suspected of having used banned substances it is more than likely you will not receive immortality among the game’s greats.

There are two sides to this highly controversial story: On one hand there are those that believe that this was an era where the majority of people used performance enhancing

numbers deserve to be awarded the game’s highest honour.

With 11 years left on the ballot it appears Mark McGwire may best the first big casualty of ‘the national past time’ to fall foul of an increasingly sceptical nation.

Gavin Moran

What’s gone wrong?

Although Wigan are relatively safe from relegation one wonders should they be performing better under new boss Roberto Martinez. An appalling 44 goals conceded in 20 games is the main problem for Martinez’s charges.

Solution As previously mentioned Wigan defensively this season have been a shambles and Martinez has acted quickly signing centre back Steven Caldwell from Celtic, more of the same must follow if they are to consolidate in the middle of the table

What’s gone wrong? A paltry 17 goals in 22 games is a dreadful return for any Premier League side. Only ex-Cork City man Kevin Doyle has managed to score more than one goal (5 goals) from their five recognised forwards. 12 losses, second most in the league is a very worrying statistic.

Solution A striker to support Doyle must be signed. If he was to get injured, the other four forwards combined have scored just 2 league goals this season. His fitness could be the key to Wolves’ survival bid.

Įt’s Coming…

12.02.10