UTculture Volume 1 Issue 1

issue 1 21 September 2010

Colin McGrane talks Freshers’ fashion

Outdoor cinema grows up

Your guide to Freshers’ Week

Planet of the Apes

Conor Sneyd talks to Fight Like Apes

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I think my boyfriend’s cheating on me, but I have no evidence - HELP! So you think your boyfriend’s cheating, eh? While I’ve never experienced this personally, a little fact that may or may not be related to my being incredibly beautiful, if not a little dominant and pretty sexy (FYI), I do listen to a lot of R&B music, which means I’m well versed in the philandering ways of the opposite sex.

Obviously, there’s the rational, psycho-babble school of emotional thought pushed by Doctor Phil and co that says things like “relationships depend on open, honest communication” and “sit down and discuss your problems with your partner”. However, I believe when in doubt, turn to the benevolent connoisseur of all matters of the heart, your good friends: Pop music and YouTube.

Whether doing a stealthy creep around your loved one’s house à la Justin Timberlake or hopping around your duplex flat as though you’re hyped on Ritalin like Mary J Blige in ‘No More Drama’, there are loads of irrelevant ways to deal with the pent-up emotional rage only known by a woman scorned.

Or maybe you’re a throw-all-his-stuffout-the-window kinda gal? Regardless,

one piece of advice I recently learnt from YouTube (and had backed up by Maury) was the new mantra that says ‘smell his dick’. No, seriously!

Obviously this is a little superfluous if your man is a condom-carrier who can bin the post-coital evidence faster than you can send him another three ‘where are you’ texts. But if he is stupid enough to be making the beast with two backs with some nasty across town, be sure to make him drop those boxers, ladies, because female Chlamydia is a fetid affair.

Just as one can always smell a rat, so can a woman always nose out another woman’s STDs. Whatever your poison of choice for that philandering someone, make sure he is definitely cheating first by getting hard evidence prior to conducting your own illicit and sordid affairs – Jeremy Kyle frowns on lying and shouts at people with loads of unplanned babies.

I want to go out and have random sex with random men - am I a slut or just following my animal instincts?

Sex with random men can be a fun and exciting way to while away those boring hours after a night out, granted, but

UTCulture

Susie & Joanne, B.A. Psych. invite you onto their therapist’s couch... generally is viewed as not the best thing for your mental health and, I hear, almost always a clear indicator of lurking psychological issues.

You can say this is just society’s way of keeping all the single ladies down and putting limits on our God-given right to express our sexuality, and you may be right, but maybe have a look at the motivations behind your behavior, yeah? For example, how long have you been acting like this? How do you feel before, during and after these encounters (emotionally speaking, obv)?

If you walk away with feelings of emptiness that can only be filled (heheheh) by a new man, that’s probably a sign that you’re not just following your animal instincts. Feelings of loneliness may not always be apparent, but can cause people to act in ways that may not be productive or helpful. My advice to you is to have a good long think about your feelings around all this sleeping around to see why you’re doing this. If it is crippling, despairing loneliness after all, invest more time with your friends, or buy a dog; this way the gap can be filled and you run a far lesser risk of contracting yukky STI’s.

Love culture? Get involved!

We’re always looking for new staff. So whether you’re a budding writer, photographer or editor, we’d love to hear from you. Email michelle@universitytimes.ie to get involved!

featured contributor Colin McGrane: Fashion Editor

When Geo-Pol student Colin McGrane isn’t strutting his stuff ‘round college, clutching a Cath Kidston pencil-case and frantically running from one lecture to another whilst simultanously highlighting already colourcoded notes with his wide-array of Muji pens, this fashion-fiend can be found haunting the high street for up-and-coming trends and turning his nose up at any faux-fashionista who dares use the sacred name of Balmain in vain.

A man known for his outdoor pursuit, Colin can usually be found lounging outside Café Sol with gaggles of giggling girls hanging onto his every ingeni0us syllable.

If uncertain of his whereabouts, in the uncommon event that he’s not sipping hot chocolate with his entourage of female fans, mosey around the arts block and listen out for his distinguishable cry of “guuurl”, spelt with three Us. Alternatively, call in to Fox’s across the street where this fine-smellin’, upstanding young man is likely to be selling quality cigars and vintage wines to people far more classy than us Trinity folk...

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In this issue…

Hello readers and welcome to the first ever edition of UTculture - a magazine made for Trinity students, by Trinity students, about music, TV, food, and all the other stuff that keeps us entertained.

I hope you enjoy reading it. In fact you’d damn well better, as getting it made has been a right pain in the hole. Why? Mostly due to the striking similarities between my co-editor, Michelle, and that Mean Girls queen, Regina George. Actually no, Michelle’s more like a combination of Regina plus the other two, all mixed into one dastardly whole.

I in turn am like a cross between that naïve nerdy kid played by Lindsay Lohan, her angsty goth friend and that sarky guy who’s almost too gay to function (a combination of the three of them is actually a hauntingly accurate descpription of me).

The odds may seem to be against me, but we all know the good guy perseveres in the end.

Plus, I know a guy with a school bus...

Art Dublin art through the ages Rosalind Abbott celebrates the 50th Anniversary of Graphic Studio Dublin )4

Books And the nominees are...

Ryan Kenny discusses this years’ Booker Prize nominees )4

Film Screens Under The Stars Michelle Doyle on the popularity of outdoor cinema )5

Ents Bright sober days Hannah Popham brings freshers through the best ways to kill time between lectures )6

Ents Dark drunken nights Katie Abrahams verses freshers on Dublin’s best clubs, pubs and post-club haunts )6

Fashion Feeling good, looking fresher Colin McGrane takes freshers through this season’s must-have looks on a shoe-string budget )7

Film Get schooled in college film Simone Cameron-Coen grinds freshers on the films they must see before they graduate )7

Music Planet of the Apes Conor Sneyd chats to Fight Like Apes about their new album and mounting success )8

Freshers’ survival Guide There’s no place like Halls Sarah Compton on how to survive flatmates and deal with life away from home !1

Freshers’ Survival Guide An international perspective on Dublin Ruthi Hymes’ invaluable advice to international Freshers not yet versed in the Irish way of life !1

Ranting Welcome to fuckin’ Trinity Mark Walsh on love, life, Hogwarts and Tic-Tacs !2

Reviews Bear in Heaven, Weezer Reviews by Fleur Moriarty and Katie Abrahams !3

Reviews The Plough and the Stars, Skippy Dies, TCD Orchestral Society Reviews by David Doyle, Ryan Kenny and Michelle O’Connor !4

Backpage columnist A Whore Abroad Vomiting, Zaytoon, Oxford University and eventual acceptance to Edinburgh Uni !5

Backpage columnist The Celeb Corner Mary-Elizabeth Bruton brings you the latest news and gossip on all your favourite celebrities !5

“Power will be generated by six bicycles that audience members are invited to pedal...” - Film, pg. 5

conor sneyd

ed to ed michelle doyle

After putting the vaguely cultural question to University Times editor Tom Lowe: “Which would you choose: a Chopper-Gunner in Call of Duty, or sex?” I knew it was only a matter of time before I got a promotion within the ranks of The University Times.

Not content with being offered the diminutive title of Culture Editor however, I saw it only appropriate to coerce the editor and demand my own magazine, which I clearly got!

But then he drops the bombshell on me that, ’oh, you’ll be working with some other guy’…

Working? Sorry, WHAT!? I hope that’s some sort of synonym for bossing, bullying and ridiculing!

But no - this simpleton is apparently my equal in the whole thing; my co-edito… I can’t even say the word!

Regardless, he has to go! And while he may trump that he can overlook my cattiness and withstand my bitchiness - bitchiness that has been painstakingly learnt over 15 years in a private girls’ school, I’ll have you know, Conor…

His days are undoubtedly numbered; defeat is certainly imminent.

You may have survived issue 1, but there are 7 more issues to go! He won’t be back.

Cartoon by Sam Horgan

Traffic Light Ball 2009

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Dublin art through the ages Rosalind Abbott on the impact and importance of Graphic Studio Dublin on their 50th Anniversary...

D

ublin, 1960. Quite a different city to Dublin, 2010, as any “back in my day” type old-boy down at the local boozer will be happy to inform you. Not only has the architectural landscape of the city changed colossally, its social attitudes, religious convictions, population and economy have all been tipped on their heads even the post-recession city looks flush compared to its younger self.

However, there are of course many constants - and not just the appeal of the black stuff: somewhere in the background, as the city has grown, made money, lost money and ditched austerity for cosmopolitanism, the Graphic Studio Dublin has been going strong.

When it was founded by five print enthusiasts in 1960, the Studio was the first of its kind in Ireland, bringing to Dublin’s cultural crowd a previously neglected medium. The studio became a kind of cornerstone, establishing a base for growth, experimentation

and creativity within the field.

And sure enough, a solid collection of great prints and printmakers have accumulated there over the years. A glance at the studio’s back catalogue makes not only for easy viewing, but also spins a web of narrative, documenting Ireland’s creative development over the past half-century.

A lot of this narrative has now been brought to a wider audience via several celebratory exhibitions paying homage to the studio and its fiftieth anniversary. Having held a successful show at Galway Arts Festival in July, the Graphic Studio Dublin has now opened an exhibition at the Irish Museum of Modern Art, which will run until January 3rd. Taking place in the East Wing of IMMA’s historic grounds, a walk around the exhibition introduces you to a variety of prints in all shapes and sizes, but all executed to an immaculately high standard.

If you’re interested in prints, this really is a must-see: you probably won’t find a better collection

of Irish works than this. Whether you’re drawn towards the opulent simplicity of Patrick Scott - with his yen-like balance and bold, clean lines - or the pained and frantic expressionism of Brian Maguire, the sexual subversion of Dorothy Cross, or the religious fervour of Patrick Pye, there is a

A glance at the studio’s back catalogue makes not only for easy viewing, but also spins a web of narrative, documenting Ireland’s creative development.

style and subject matter to meet all tastes somewhere in the collection. What’s more, through each work, you catch a glimpse of Dublin and its many faces over the past fifty years. Personally, I couldn’t take my eyes off any of them.

China Cabinet Fly, by John Kindness; one of the many Graphic Studio Dublin prints currently on display

and Whitbread Prizes. While Small Island focused on the experiences of Jamaican immigrants in 1950s London, The Long Song sees Levy shift her perspective back to Jamaica, taking a sugar plantation in the turbulent years around the abolition of slavery as its setting.

The massive success of Small Island could not have been easy to follow, but that Levy has more than managed the task is testament indeed to her formidable talent.

The inclusion of Damon Galut’s book In a Strange Room surprised some, as it stretches the definition of what is typically considered a novel. A triptych of almost completely separate stories, In a Strange Room is rightly celebrated as one of the finest examples of travel writing in recent years. Chronicling three journeys of a protagonist also named Damon, Galut’s work plays on this ambiguity, dancing between the first and third person with delicacy and control, avoiding confusion and instead creating a strange sense of paradox between involvement in and removal from the narrative. Widely acknowledged as a beautiful and well-written book, novel or not, In a Strange Room certainly deserves critical recognition.

Rounding out the list is Howard Jacobson’s The Finkler Question. As ever with Jacobson, Jewish themes play a central role, and the narrative follows the story of Julian Treslove, who, while not himself Jewish, becomes fascinated by the idea of what being Jewish means. Noted for its off-beat humour and seamless prose, The Finkler Question’s inclusion ads another dimension to this year’s shortlist.

With the winner to be announced on October 12th, this year’s strong and diverse shortlist is certain to be the cause of much debate over the next few weeks.

And the nominees are...

Ryan Kenny discusses the main contenders for this year’s Booker Prize

T

he announcement of the shortlist for the Man Booker Prize created its usual buzz when announced on Tuesday. Working from a longlist of thirteen announced earlier this summer, which has itself provoked considerable hype, the panel of judges narrowed the field to six contenders for fiction’s most coveted prize: Tom McCarthy’s C, Emma O’Donoghue’s Room, Peter Carey’s Parrot and Olivier in America, Howard Jacobson’s The Finkler Question, Damon Galut’s In a Strange Room, and Andrea Levy’s The Long Song.

Perhaps the most interesting book on the list is Tom McCarthy’s C, which is widely tipped by many Booker watchers and the bookies current favourite. Generally parsed as an ‘experimental’ work, McCarthy’s third novel has garnered rave reviews from many critics; however, the original and ambitious approach to, and challenge of, the conventional novel which has won McCarthy such acclaim has also led some to label his book as inaccessible.

Also front runner, Emma O’Donoghue’s Room is a haunting story told in the voice of Jack, a five year old boy who has spent

his whole life locked in a tiny room with his mother, entirely unaware of the outside world, and is sure to evoke memories of the harrowing Fritzl case. Despite considerable controversy around its initial publication, Room has gone on to win O’Donoghue wide acclaim, its touchingly poignant account of Jack’s relationship with his mother leading many critics to hail O’Donoghue’s achievement as one of the books of the year.

A similarly controversial book relating to questions about parenthood, and for some a surprising omission from the shortlist was Christopher Tsiolkas’s The Slap.

Possibly the most talked about book on this year’s longlist, and certainly one of the best selling, The Slap has been dividing opinions since its publication.

The book is based on barbecue in Melbourne where a man slaps someone else’s child, and the series of events and relationships that surround the incident. Lauded by some as a brave exploration of life in contemporary society, The Slap has been dismissed by many others as gratuitously vulgar, often to the point of being pornographic, and as having little redeeming artistic merit or originality.

Another, entirely different exploration of contemporary society, and another shock omission from the shortlist was Paul Murray’s Skippy Dies. A chaotic and riveting story of life at a south Dublin boys school, Murray’s novel is an excellent read, which, had it made the shortlist, could have been a serious contender to come out on top. This is only Murray’s second novel, and the brilliance of Skippy Dies promises plenty more to come from the young Trinity graduate.

Unlike Murray, Peter Carey’s name is familiar to the Booker panel. Previously awarded the prize in 1988 and again in 2001, Carey could this year become the first writer to win three times. Loosely based on the life of Alexis de Tocqueville, a French noble who travelled to America in the 19th century to write about the emerging nation, Parrot and Olivier in America is an accomplished, entertaining and occasionally comic look at the relationship between the two titular characters, and their adventures in the strange New World.

Another author with an impressive array of literary awards, Andrea Levy is nevertheless a new name to Booker shortlists. Her novel, The Long Song, acts as a quasi-prequel to the dazzlingly successful Small Island. Published in 2004, Small Island won serious critical and popular success, earning Levy a host of awards including The Orange

Lauded by some as a brave exploration of life in contemporary society, The Slap has been dismissed by many others as gratuitously vulgar, often to the point of being pornographic.

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Screens under the stars

Michelle Doyle speaks to outdoor cinema organiser Peter O’Brien about the trend of outdoor cinema.

I

t was Oscar Wilde who once said: A hipster is a person who knows a bit about everything despite knowing little about anything... Or, maybe that was a cynic?

Either way, nowadays, and just as Oscar would have feared, everyone is alternative; a generation of aficionados with a degree in the Internet, roving eye for vaguely different, semi-quirky things to do and a massive camera to document whatever irrelevancies cross their double-denim paths.

However one unprecedented thing to blow in out of the alternative hinterland and snowball into mainstream popularity was the potentially faddy trend of outdoor cinema.

Outdoor cinema is hardly a new phenomenon, drive-ins are a thing of my parent’s past and watching films under the stars probably dates back to the 50s, sometime.

So in the knobbly-kneed hipster trend of old-stuff-buffed-up-andpackaged-as-new, while it’s definitely no surprise that the skinnyjean, latte-crew lapped it up faster than they usually do cringy streetblogs, I found it somewhat surprising that its popularity had been so long lived in the mainstream public eye.

Cinema is a common form of entertainment of course, albeit pretty costly. And nowadays, discerning film fans want more from their cinema experience than over-sized Pepsis and popcorns.

So in the vein of frugality coupled with the public’s growing enthusiasm for something a little different, I spoke to Peter O’Brien, a Dublin-based open-air cinema organiser.

O’Brien talked me through the reasons behind outdoor cinema’s popularity and explained how, by doing what he does, he is helping bring communities together, and working towards a greener planet.

The little fact that he’s doing this for free during Freshers’ Week made the impact of the event all the more

exciting.

Following a successful string of outdoor cinema events in Fitzwilliam Square to help raise money for the development and refurbishment of the square, O’Brien was contacted by Dublin City Council to run a similar event as part of Mobility Week.

When questioned on the event he planned to run as part of Mobility Week, O’Brien explained that, instead of running an outdoor cinema event generated by huge amounts of electricity similar to those in Dundrum, the projectors would in fact be generated by cycle power triggered by six bicycles that audience members were invited to pedal.

Once I eventually stopped oohing and ah-ing, I had to put the question of PR to O’Brien.

Outdoor cinema’s PR campaign intrigued me. Popularity had seemingly mushroomed out of nowhere and posters and ads never entered my personal radar, yet somehow I was constantly aware that it was there and happening.

When I put this question to the voice on the other end of the phone his response was: “Well I know Facebook really well and that’s how I got it out there. I have a lot of good contacts that can help promote things, but in the end it’s about using social media properly and to your advantage.” - I guess that explains how it entered my periphery.

The altruistic context behind the events was another matter that caught my attention. I enquired whether the events run were specifically intended to raise social awareness of climate change, or merely an enjoyment of running outdoor events. O’Brien responded by explaining his goal to pursue social media aimed at creating social change: “What I do essentially is aim to encourage a shift towards sustainable ways of living whilst entertaining people, allowing people to do something that is fun and cool. It’s great to express yourself in different

ways; I’m just trying to show people that you can do it without bombing the shit out of the planet!”

Being a bit of a cynic however, all I could think of was worst-case scenarios. It’s all well and good highlighting the issue of unnecessary energy consumption and packaging it up as the must-do thing this year, but what is to be done in the event of rain? Surely a screen would melt or at the least, cyclists would get pissed off and leave their post, rendering the film unwatchable?

The answer to this question was again social media: “Since the events are organised online, what we’ve done so far is just cancel them and reschedule.

With social media tools you can cancel something immediately; you can instantly let the world know what you’re doing.”

So would this be the call of action on the night of the 22nd if forecasts were unfavourable? “We’ve actually got a backup for that evening.

It’s definitely going ahead, and while we plan to have it happening on Fade Street, if needs be, we can move it to the Market Bar.” The last thing that tickled my curiosity was whether other organisers ran similar events to O’Brien’s.

He explained that, while others ran similar events, no one did it in his style; associating social consciousness to film and entertainment.

When asked if he would ever consider doing it just for money he replied: “No, never”.

Wrapping up our conversation, O’Brien filled me in on his enthusiasm to continue this quirky entsactivism and eventually we finished up our chat.

Whether a financially viable form of Eco activism I don’t know.

And whether it will maintain popularity in mainstream culture as well as the faux-underground

Peter O’Brien’s Freshers’ Week event will be The Triplets of Belleville, shown on fade street.

22 September at 8PM.

Back to culture Rosalind Abbott

P

ack your bags, kids. It’s time to go back to school.

As sullen-faced tweens the nation over trudge through school gates, cussing newly learnt swear words under their breath, we hope you’re a little more enthusiastic about the year ahead - and that applies to both Trinity veterans as well as newbies.

However, if the traditional Freshers’ Week cycle doesn’t appeal to you (register; spend all your money joining societies that you’re not actually interested in; drink €1 shots of something that is possibly petrol; snog some girl/ guy at a Traffic Light Ball then be sick over yourself only to spend the rest of the year avoiding said girl/guy out of sheer embarrassment), fear not. As well as kicking off the academic year, you may be interested to know that September is also the month when all things bright and cultural come to the fore.

With Fashion Week to satisfy your sartorial needs, Electric Picnic for your musical cravings and Fringe for, well, just about everything else, September is a great month to develop a new interest. You don’t have to look far, either: ‘Liffeytown’ by Fergal McCarthy, an art installation featuring Monopoly-esque green and red houses, will be floating between O’Connell and Ha’penny Bridge, for the cultural delight of unsuspecting onlookers until September 26.

Likewise, anyone who’s

culture where individuality comes at the cost of a hideous t-shirt from Salvation Army, I don’t know.

Come whatever weather and whatever future sentiments arise from

recently walked past the newly opened Convention Centre after the onset of dusk will have been equally impressed by the fantastical and mind-warping projections illuminating the mammoth building. Culture has never been so hard to miss.

If these public displays of art have only served to whet your appetite, however, there’s plenty more where that came from: Culture Night, September 24, is probably the best way to quickly

September is the month when all things bright and cultural come to the fore. immerse yourself in Dublin’s cultural scene. Bring a few friends, squeeze in as many events on the night as you possibly can, and knock back any free wine you encounter as you go. Even if it tastes like turps. It often does.

By the end, you might just turn out to be a cultural connoisseur in the making (albeit not a wine connoisseur, sadly), cracking jokes about German Expressionist poetry and finding yourself unable to enter a trendy bar without critiquing their attempts at postmodern design. Who knows, in a week’s time you might even end up writing for some fancy magazine like UTculture. Imagine that. the mainstreaming of outdoor events however, this looks like a sweet, sweet evening to come this Freshers’ Week.

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Enjoying the bright, sober days...

Hannah Popham brings you through the wide variety of things to see and do around Trinity

O

nce you’re done untagging yourself from all the dodgy photos from Freshers’ week and have attempted to catch up on some shut-eye on the arts block couches (impossible, by the way), you’ll be left wondering what to do until your next lecture. Luckily, there are alternatives to coffee-drinking and texting every friend you have in Trinity to confirm they’re all either in lectures, gone home or too hungover to leave their bed.

Take up a new sport: the Sports Centre offers beginner classes for dozens of unusual sports and activities you might not have been offered in school. Sports like fencing, trampolining, rock climbing, water polo and rowing, to name a few.

You can also try out for teams in all the usual sports like hockey, soccer, cricket, rugby and swimming if they’re more your style.

Trinity College’s SVP Society offers a unique variety of charity work you can get involved with, ranging from homework club with disadvantaged kids to soup runs for the homeless to football matches with inmates from Mountjoy Prison!

Just pick up a SVP leaflet from their Freshers’ stand to find out specific

meeting points and times. SVP is also one of the few societies that is absolutely free to join!

The incredibly committed Players theatrical society is constantly putting on impressive productions of both well-known and original plays. With tickets available for as low as €2 they are well worth an invested lunchtime. If theatre doesn’t appeal, Players have invited stars such as Bill Nighy, Florence and the Machine and Ardal O’Hanlon to stage different events which are all free to members.

Experience something different at the Science Gallery: even if the word science only reminds you of cramming horrific diagrams of pregnant plants, TCD’s Science Gallery is definitely worth at least one visit. It’s actually the only science gallery in the world, completely free and very visual. Past exhibits have included the science of light, love, infection, fashion and music so there’s inevitably an exhibit you’ll find at the very least, slightly appealing.

Play games in the Sci-fi Soc room: Can’t afford all the games you wish you could? Even though it’s located a few too many flights of stairs up House 6, SciFi has a

Display from the Science Gallery’s recent Hyperbolic Reef exhibition (photo from Flickr.com/lusciousblopster) really extensive collection of science fiction books, games and a DVD library which members are welcome to with a deposit. Even if you’ve never seen the Matrix or don’t know what Firefly is, I spied the first season of the OC in their DVD cabinet, so you’d be surprised what you’d find up there!

Argue in the Graduates Memorial Building, otherwise known as The GMB. You’ll find both the Hist and the Phil (most of the time indistinguishable from each other) which run “Maiden” rounds for all those beginner-debaters who have the bravery to give debating and public speaking a try.

If you’d rather stay in front of the podium however, both societies have invited such renouned guess

as Bob Geldof, Tommy Hilfiger and Tommy Tiernan.

Alternatively, go have a look in the Secret Book and Record Store on Wicklow Street. Hidden behind a long corridor leading in from the street, you’ll find books on subjects you had no idea anyone would write about; DVDs you’ve never been able to track down before and for pretty low prices! Luckily it’s also very browser friendly, so you won’t get odd looks for spending a good bit of time in there like in most franchise record and book shops.

Catch a game of foosball or snooker in the GMB. Many a bitter foosball match has been played waiting for lectures on the bottom floor of the GMB (though it’s usually played with four people and a lot of

shouting about the frivolous use of “spinnies”). If you fancy something more serious and are committed enough to climb 3 flights of stairs, there is also a room equipped with six snooker tables above the conversation room.

Watch a film in the Language Centre (Room 4074) in the arts block. Dozens of foreign films like Abre Los Ojos (the film that Vanilla Sky was based on), which are normally really hard to find, are stored in this room. Unfortunately, they can’t be taken out, but you can watch them in their DVD room.

You’d also be surprised at what they have on the DVD shelf in the library, as they lend lots of Irish produced films like Man About Dog, so that’s worth a quick look, too...

...and those dark, drunken nights Katie Abrahams takes you through all the best clubs and pubs to take in at night

W

e may be biased, but Dublin’s nightlife is second to none.

From best-sellers to cult artists, indie, pop, rock and DJ acts consider the Irish capital a must-play destination. We are no longer synonymous with a smoky pub culture, nor the pre-recession, ostentatious VIP clubs that offered little more than an uninspiring air of affectation. But to experience this transfor mation

fully, one must be familiar with venues and their corresponding student club nights.

What makes for a great night out on the piss-stained cobblestones of Dublin is obviously subjective. Whether you veer towards LCD Soundsystem or Lady Gaga, whether you want to mosh to animalistic techno, or enjoy drinks to the backdrop of Animal Collective, here’s the definitive

guide to our fair city after sundown.

For indie-pop advocates, Propaganda in The Academy (57 Middle Abbey St) has become an institution in its first year. Filled to capacity each week, the playlist is flawless, and the vibe is high-energy. The Academy is also a treasured gig venue, having welcomed Foals, Laura Marling, (ad nauseum) as well as countless local bands this year.

Whelans (25 Wexford St) is a national emblem of the Irish music scene. Offering a platform that cultivates local talent as well as catering for international stars, the best of Irish bands have started out headlining in this historical pub.

The Village next door should also be on your official gig itinerary; the very best rising young musicians and bands dominate the stage on a weekly basis.

A most-exciting new music venue, The Workman’s Club (10 Wellington Quay), has recently opened to illustrious reviews. If it continues to rope in distinguished bands and DJing talent (Phantom DJs, Damien Dempsey, and Fight Octopussy, the newest night at The Academy, promises to get all attendees good n’ wet

Like Apes) at its current rate, it will make its way to the forefront in no time. If you like your drinking pleasure heightened by views of the Liffey, and your gigs intimate, head down.

Andrews Lane Theatre (9-17 St Andrews Lane), just off Wicklow St, is open Tuesday to Friday. See the culmination of the week’s pent-up party urge released recklessly in Friday’s infamous ‘’War’’. A longtime, offbeat favourite amongst the most flamboyant of revellers, prepare to be bombarded with glitter, neon war paint, and the visual of both boys and girls in fluorescent spandex.

Dtwo on Harcourt boasts chart hits, a gorgeous, fairy light-adorned beer garden on the roof, and is strictly over 19s. Also over 19s, Copperface Jacks is another ‘D4ers Paradise’ on Harcourt with a similar sound and crowd- but beware its infamous reputation for being tantamount with salivating older men, bad falls and broken limbs.

But hey, maybe that’s your thing.

We won’t judge. A plus is that it remains open until 4am.

Electro and techno fans will be in their element in Temple Bar’s Button Factory on Saturdays.

Transmission has played host to

such luminary DJs and producers as Foamo, Jack Beats, Felix Cartal and the Bloody Beetroots.

Button Factory also runs Muzik on Thursday nights (your student card will get you in for a fiver), and a reggae night on Sundays.

Finally, check out Bad KidsThursday in Crawdaddy. It remains true to and similar in the style and atmosphere of the beloved, nowdeceased Antics Wednesdays: think the freshest, liveliest Indie pop, indie rock, and the best of accessible but still alternative 80s, 90s and 00s hits.

So the night is drawing to an end.

Your eyes are heavy, maybe a little bloodshot. Your throat is dry, and your head’s starting to hurt. And you’re starving. Zaytoon in Temple Bar somehow calls to the drunkard’s soul in the wee hours. But the Harcourt Diner is the Holy Grail of post-clubbing binges. We’re not sure what they lace their food with, but its only delicious after 2am and we’re convinced it has hepatichealing properties. With the alcohol soaked up by all that delectable grease, your hangover is stopped in its tracks, so you will wake up the next day with only your crippling sense of shame from the night before to deal with.

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Feeling good, looking fresher How could a material which constitutes tablecloths and curtains ever be fashionable?

Colin McGrane discusses the best clothing to stay warm and look sharp this Autumn/Winter

S

o the time has finally come.

CAO offers are accepted, registration fees are paid and highlighters of all shades and hues are purchased and poised for usage – you’re just about ready to take your first tentative steps towards academic greatness. But as Freshers’ Week trundles on, and your first lecture draws ever closer, it’s time to confront the all-important question – ‘What am I going to wear?’ But fear not, because this easy guide is here to advise you on how to make this season’s signature looks a little more ‘college friendly’ without breaking the bank, or looking like a circus act.

Neutral territory: With the memories of a Summer season filled with fabrics in the brightest shades of bright still burning our retinas like some cheap contact lenses, I say it’s time to pull a Switzerland on it and go neutral. No longer confined to the wardrobes of octogenarians and Stepford wives, neutral tones are making a big comeback on this season’s catwalks, and students everywhere should cry out ‘Hurrah!’, because no colours are more flattering and practical when it comes to college wear. For inspiration, check out Michael Kors’s collection of austere slouch sweaters and oversized shirts, which come in a veritable sepia-toned rainbow. The ‘back to basics’ pallet of this season means that it is now easier than ever to mix and match items (gone are the memories of crying on your bedroom floor because you have nothing to go with your tangerine

blazer) and the subdued, dusty hues lend a certain air of relaxed sophistication to any college ensemble. Hit up Zara to explore their collection of dainty yet structured cotton blouses in shades of rose and taupe, starting from €19.95, and uber-flattering twill skirts in hues of navy and slate, starting from €16.95.

Tight knit: When a Siberian wind blows through the Arts Block on a December morning, you can be glad that knitwear remains the undisputed king of winter fashion.

With drafty lecture theatres and chilly classrooms being the norm, why not take refuge in a sumptuously chunky cardigan, inspired by those seen at Chloe, or in a slouchy loose knit sweater in soft biscuit shades, such as those shown by Missoni. Thankfully, you can get a lot of knit for your money on the high street these days, and a trip to Topshop will reveal an Aladdin’s cave of precious knitwear. Wise buys include an Angora-esque cropped sweater, tightly knit in the cosiest mushroom-coloured wool, and a range of lacy, cable knit cocoon sweaters, available in a range of caramel and honey hues, all starting from €58.00.

Lace appeal: I know what you’re thinking - How could a material which constitutes tablecloths and curtains ever be fashionable?

Now, I’m all for vintage, but I have to admit that even I was sceptical of whether lace was just that bit too old fashioned to be wearable in 2010. However, I willingly stand corrected, because this Autumn/ Winter, lace has gotten one hell of

Arts student Jenny Claffey shows us how it’s done (Photo by Dargan Crowley-Long) an extreme makeover. No longer dated and drab, lace is now being used by designers in almost every way imaginable. Still not convinced? Explore Erdem’s collection of lace a-line dresses. Decked out in the most scrumptious autumnal shades of plum and bronze, they remind us that lace need not always be whiter than white. For a more striking look, why not channel Donna Karan’s use of black lace in form fitting dresses and blouses?

Pair this look with minimal eye makeup and deep, plum stained lips for maximum impact. What’s even more appealing about this trend is that you can now find lashings of lace all over the high street.

For instant sophistication, check out A¦wear’s collection of lace fronted wool sweaters, which are available in a range of deep autumnal colours and retail at €25.00. For a more practical day to day look, head to Topshop to salivate over their collection of lace-effect knitwear, available in a range of jumpers and cardigans, starting from €53.00.

‘In Vogue’ outdoors: Remember when you were a kid, and your parents would always tell you to bring a coat with you when you left the house? Well they were on to something, because the spotlight is very much focused on outerwear this Autumn/Winter. Nearly every

designer has produced their own spin on the classic winter coat, but check out Georgio Armani’s architectural range of oversized coats to learn how to layer like a pro. For a softer look, peruse Chloe’s collection of biscuit and taupe coloured camel coats which prove that you can still look uber-feminine, even during Arctic conditions. However, those of us who don’t have an unlimited bank balance need not worry, because the high street has definitely made provision for the cold winter ahead. Head to Reiss to check out their small but perfectly formed collection of structured winter coats, starting from €200.00.

And if you are operating on a smaller budget, check out A¦wear’s collection of uber-feminine winter coats starting from €70.00, taking special notice of the knee length navy ‘school girl’ coat with red trimming, synched at the waist to flatter any shape or size.

So there you have it, a sneaky look at some of the season’s biggest trends and an even sneakier look at how you can recreate them without marrying into wealthy European royalty, or having plastic surgery to turn yourself into Coco Rocha (although, if that’s your thing, don’t let me stop you). So grab your Cath Kidston pencil case, your Birkin bag and your ring binder, and get ready to hit the library, fashionista style.

Get schooled in college film...

Simone Cameron-Coen lists the films every student needs to see, and the reasons why...

T

he Big Lebowski (1998)because it’s a Coen Brothers film with Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, Steve Buscemi and Juliane Moore in it, with lots of quotable lines and scenes to get lost in. It is a quirky film that is suitable for any time of the day but is ideal upon arrival home post-club with chipper chips clutched in one hand and a slightly swaying demeanour.

Put down the chips (on the table not the sofa) stick on the DVD, find a hoody, curl up with your chips and your drunken mates and enjoy. Please note that the film may be started several times and reach various points in the plot before you have to stop and start again.

Worry not, this adds to the overall enjoyment of the film. If you are

still confused upon fourth attempt, watch it in the morning clutching a large mug of tea, and it will all become much clearer, dude.

La Haine (Mathieu Kassovitz, 1995). Because of the amazing French hip-hop music. It’s set in the suburbs of Paris and follows a day in the life of three friends who wonder aimlessly through Paris the day after rioting. The black and white style and the music are great, and who doesn’t love a bad DeNiro impressions in French, speaking of which…

Goodfellas (Martin Scorsese, 1990). One of the best films that you will ever see. It’s a simple as that. If you haven’t seen it, stop what you are doing (clearly when you reach the end of this article) and go beg,

borrow, or steal it. Well, maybe not steal it, but begging would not be out of the question. If you have seen it, watch it again and quote every quotable line. Bear in mind, that you do have to devote some time to this one, so don’t have anything planned for a while, and a good supply of crisps and/or popcorn is advised.

Casablanca (Michael Curtiz, 1943). Why? Because everyone has seen this film…for a reason. It’s Ingrid Bergman and Humphrey Bogart, it’s wartime and love story…and if you don’t watch it, you will be looked at quizzically by those around you (who have seen it numerous times at Christmas and what not), like you’re a strange breed of failed film student. And who wants to be that? It is a wonderful love story with enough Bogart to still be cool; a safe bet for early Sunday evening or a Wednesday

afternoon in the library when you should be studying statistics.

In Bruges (Martin McDonagh, 2008). It’s Irish, it’s got Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson and Ralph Fiennes; it’s a buddy/gangster movie. It is funny and poignant and will surprise you.

Your Study Survival Guide: Ok, so we all start out with the best of intentions, but then that really cheap gig sounds like a really good idea, and oh yeah, that really famous actor/politician/scientist is speaking at that society, and your very newest friend is having a flatwarming/birthday/’survived first lecture’ party, and the reading list gets lost down the sofa.

For these very occasions sometimes a short cut or two is required so don’t have that idiotic face in the front row of the lecture (because you were just too late to hide down the back). For these occasions

this is the list that you need. Bear in mind it will not get you through an English literature exam and you will trip yourself up in an essay if you don’t actually read the book at some point.

Sense and Sensability (Ang Lee, 1995), because Alan Rickman is fabulous, Pride and Prejudice (Joe Wright, 2005), just to see Donald Sutherland, Great Expectations (Alfonso Cuarón, 1998) because it’s weirdly beautiful, A Midsummer Night’s Dream (Michael Hoffman, 1998), because it will make you laugh, and Baz Luhrman’s William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet (1996) because it’s wonderful in its over-the-top-ness. For a really quick overview of Jane Austen, you need The Jane Austen Book Club (Robin Swicord, 2007) but mostly cos Hugh Dancy is an incredible geek, and quite loveable.

8

Planet of the Apes

Clockwise from top-right: MayKay at The Body of Christ and the Legs of Tina Turner’s album launch in Tower (photo by Yan Bourke), Tom Ryan live at the Trinity Freshers’ Ball 2009 (photo by Tom Lowe), Pockets at the album launch (photo by Yan Bourke), the band go wild with some tape.

Fight Like Apes chat to UTculture about their new album, the Irish music scene, and Kristen Stewart By conor sneyd

W

ith their latest album, The Body of Christ and the Legs of Tina Turner, gaining rave reviews both at home and abroad, things are looking bright for Fight Like Apes. I had a chat with vocalist and synth-player, Mary-Kate Geraghty, aka MayKay, to find out how the band were feeling about life, the universe and everything.

MayKay has a reputation for intense live performances and frantic on-stage antics, which are always entertaining and occasionally terrifying. Off-stage, though, she’s as friendly and laid-back as can be, and is clearly passionate about her work.

Although its reception was largely positive, the Apes’ debut album, Fight Like Apes and the Mystery of the Golden Medallion, wasn’t without its detractors. This time around, though, it seems like the critics have been silenced, and responses to the The Body of Christ and the Legs of Tina Turner have been fantastic. “We’re delighted with the reception it’s been getting,” explained MayKay. “We were really, really excited about it, and we’re resigned to the fact that no matter what happens we all love it, so we weren’t that concerned with what people were saying. It was a bonus surprise that people were into it. You still can’t put a negative thing out of the way – that could happen, and more often than not it does – but initial reactions were great.”

The album’s bizarre title is intriguingly mysterious. “It was a thing that Jamie and our friend Paddy had been joking about years ago” MayKay explained, when asked to shed some light on the subject. “I don’t know what it was really for to be honest, but anyway – just the idea of it being a really hilarious image. Once it got suggested for this album it was hard to consider anything else, cause nothing else is going to match up to it really. It was brought up that it might be kinda controversial and stuff but to be honest we haven’t heard anything negative about it at all.”

Fight Like Apes have a well-established reputation for frenzied live shows, and with the album’s

release successfully completed, some good old touring mayhem is doubtlessly in store for the band.

Yet, besides a couple odd dates here and in the UK, nothing major’s been announced. “We’ve got a load of stuff that we just haven’t announced yet or confirmed,” revealed MayKay, “but there’s gonna be a lot of college shows, a lot of more regional gigs because we only really did Cork and Galway when the album was released. There was

It’s the first time in a long time that it’s actually been really, really exciting in Ireland. so much going on – we wanted to do all those in-stores and stuff – so we still owe the country a tour, and there’s a couple of things… that’s the thing, see, nothing’s been confirmed so I’m always reluctant to talk about it and make a fool of myself!”

The band made their second ever appearance at Electric Picnic this year, and according to both audiences and themselves, they put on a killer show. “It was probably one of my favourite gigs ever” says MayKay, “In 2007 we played first thing on the Sunday morning and it was our first big gig, we’d only been together a few months.

We went down the Friday morning and just got wrecked for two days;

by Sunday morning I couldn’t even talk, so I certainly couldn’t sing.

Tom had broken a finger the week before so our sound engineer was playing bass, and it was just generally a disaster. We’d a lot to make up for this year, so we were extra determined, and it really paid off - we were so happy with the gig.”

For a band with just 4 years experience under their belt, playing alongside international legends like Massive Attack, Modest Mouse and Roxxy Music is an experience

that must be both intimidating and exhilarating at the same time.

“Yeah that’s always fun” remarked MayKay, “and it’s weird when you’re backstage seeing people like that just wandering around as if they’re nobody. Wolf Parade headlined our stage, which was huge – we’re big fans of theirs. It’s probably one of the first festivals I did go and see a lot of bands at, cause usually after a show you’re either having to go somewhere else or you’re just so wrecked that you just wanna sit backstage and drink, but we did go around and see a lot of bands.”

The Apes aren’t the type to suck up to famous performers though.

According to MayKay, “I’d be the last person to approach someone unless setting out to feel like an eejit. Unless it was an idol or something then I probably would say hello, but other than that I’m happy to observe from a distance and leave them about their business”.

Fight Like Apes could easily be labeled the biggest band on the Irish scene today. I asked MayKay how she felt about her peers, and what it feels like to be a part of Irish music today. “I think it’s actually the first time in a long time that it’s actually been really, really exciting in Ireland. The obvious one for me would be Adebisi Shank, who I saw at Mitchelstown Indiependence festival, and they were just amazing. They’re absolutely incredible; they’ve got the energetic live show and stuff, but the songs are fantastic and the new album’s just absolutely brilliant. I can’t get enough of it. Grand Pocket Orchestra released their album the same day as us, we love them. Le Galaxie are releasing theirs next year at some point. It’s a far cry away from the old, typical Irish thing of singer-songwriters, which there’s nothing wrong with at all, but there certainly was call for a change alright and it’s coming in a lot of different ways. I wish I could think of more bands off the top of my head… bands from up north as well – And So I Watch You From Afar are incredible. So, yeah, if you’re ever going to be up top amongst those bands, now’s the time to be there, cause it’s pretty

competitive at the moment, which is great - great for everyone”.

Speaking of Irish music, there’s one more act out there which must be mentioned. They may be seen as a joke by most, but with a #1 album in the bag, and their own ridiculous TV show, Jedward are, in their own way, serious competition for any up-and-coming Irish act. Wondering how just such an up-and-coming Irish act, such as Fight Like Apes, feel about the quiffed twins, I asked MayKay for her thoughts. “On paper I should hate them, and I wish I hated them, but I don’t” she laughed. “I’ve no respect whatsoever for the music, but I just kinda think - ah, God, if I was given the opportunity to make a load a money and a bit of infamy for awhile then I’d take it. So I’m not gonna blame them for grabbing at something that’s handed to them on a plate. I think it’s hilarious, they’re just entertaining everyone.

Whether you like it or not you can’t deny how funny it is. There’s kids queuing and crying and they’re getting mobbed all over the place and

they’re just two eejits with massive hair. And they actually seem like decent lads, there doesn’t seem to be any badness in them. I’m happy enough to let them off, but I don’t think it’s gonna have the longevity that maybe they hope it will, that’s just my opinion now, but at the same time if I was told I could have two or three years of ridiculous chaotic fame it’d be hard to say no… they must be having the time of their lives”.

Judging by MayKay’s enthusiasm, it seems like Fight Like Apes do pay serious attention to what’s going on around them in the musical world. I wondered if making music professionally made it harder to step back and see other bands from the perspective of a fan: “The only thing that’d ring true with me is that you don’t have as much time I guess. I have noticed in the last couple years that I haven’t been as raring to go to see other bands and hear other bands and stuff. I think that’s just laziness; it’s something I really have thought that I should get going again, cause it’s

9

It’s probably good for us that we didn’t all finish college because you do get that bit of cop-on and discipline from finishing a degree that none of us have, and we wouldn’t be the same band if we had it.

as the other two. So that’s my only criticism of it. I thought it was actually great, I wasn’t expecting as much of a gutsy performance from Kristen Stewart or Dakota Fanning and I thought they actually did it really well”.

On whether she saw herself as part of a long tradition of female rockstars, or whether she felt we’d advanced beyond all that and saw herself as simply a musician, fullstop, MayKay remarked: “I’ve been asked so many times what problems do you come up against as a female in the music industry and I’m like ‘none’, because I don’t pitch

UTCulture

very inspiring if you wander into a 50-person capacity venue just for a drink and you end up seeing some band that blows your mind – there’s just nothing better than that. I don’t think it’s the fact that it’s gone professional, I think with anything, yeah, its kinda’ hard, you kinda’ become a little bit more critical because you’ve become involved in the production end of things, and the recording end of things, and I find it really frustrating that I can’t take a band at face value. If I hear a recording it’s like ‘it’s a shame they didn’t do it that way’, and I’m like ‘shut up you wanker, what are you saying that for!?’ – it’s not like I even know what I’m talking about when I say that, it’s not like I’m being constructively critical or anything”.

As this is a student magazine and all, I asked MayKay what her own days as a student were like.

Although her time in college was cut short by the rockstar calling, MayKay did spend a few months in Trinity, studying Medicinal Chemistry, then Philosophy. “God, my 7 months as a student in Trinity

were brilliant. I actually love the college; I’m always quite regretful I didn’t spend longer there.

The lads always laugh at me when I say I want to go back to college.

They think I’m just saying that to please my parents or something, but I would love to go back, it’s always something I’ve wanted to do.

My sister went through Trinity, and lots of people I know. It’s probably good for us that we didn’t all finish college because you do get that bit of cop-on and discipline from finishing a degree that none of us have, and we wouldn’t be the same band if we had it. I think Trinity’s a great place, it really is. I made some friends there that I’m still friends with now. I’m gonna go back in a few years like a creep, hanging out with a load of 17 year olds, showing them the ropes…”

The day before I spoke to MayKay, I’d seen and loved The Runaways, a biopic of the legendary, all-female rock band from the ‘70s, starring Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning. I asked MayKay if she’d seen it, and if so, what were her thoughts, as a female rockstar herself: “I really did quite like it. I don’t think it shoulda’ been called ‘The Runaways’ to be honest, as it wasn’t the story of all of them. It was about Joan Jett and Cherie Curry [the band’s two frontwomen] and their relationship. They shoulda’ called it something else, ‘Crimson and Clover’ or something, cause that’s the song Joan wrote about Cherie. The Lita [Ford, the band’s lead guitarist] story and everything is so interesting, it’s as interesting

myself as a girl. The three lads in the band are my three best mates and that’s just the way it’s always been.

I’ve never thought any way differently of it and I think as a result no one treats me any differently. Other people probably say differently, they’ll all be like “sure she’s an aul bitch, she’s always making them carry her shit”. That’s always the way I’ve felt about it”.

Fight Like Apes will be coming soon to a venue near you - make sure you check ‘em out!

The history of Fight Like Apes - 2006: Band is formed by Mary-Kate ‘MayKay’ Geraghty, Jamie ‘Pockets’ Fox, Adrian Mullan and Tom Ryan. They take their name from a quote out of the 1973 B-movie Battle for The Planet of the Apes.

- 2007: Debut EP, How Am I Supposed to Kill You if You Have All the Guns?, is released. The band make their first appearance at Electic Picnic.

- 2008: Release of their debut album Fight Like Apes and the Mystery of the Golden Medallion .

- 2009: Extensive touring and appearances throughout Europe, Japan and America.

- 2010: Release of The Body of Christ and the Legs of Tina Turner (pictured) on August 27th. Adrian Mullan leaves the band due to creative differences.

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There’s no place like Halls

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Sarah Compton offers some handy ‘do’s and don’ts’ on adapting to life away from home Don’t be embarrassed to call home every once and a while if you’re feeling homesick. It’s the perfect way to de-stress, especially during the first few weeks when your new life is more hectic and confusing than it has ever been before. It may take a while to adjust to the whole college way of life, but once things settle down, you may even forget you have a home outside of Dublin, much to your parents’ distress!

Do make a huge effort to get to know and love your flatmates, no matter how insane/boring/ unhygienic they may at first appear. Seriously, this is crucial to a Fresher’s sanity. You certainly don’t want to be living with your enemies when it’s 3am, you’ve lost your keycard, and are faced with a night spent anxiously stationed outside your door just hoping someone will drag themselves out of bed to save you. These are the people who will get you into trouble, bail you out, make you tea when you’re down, and drive you crazy with their inexplicable quirks: love them and cherish them, for these are your new best friends.

Don’t be afraid to speak up if you’re having a problem with your

roomies. If the girl you share space with insists on having late-night Skype giggle-fests with her boyfriend before your Tuesday 9am, you should politely mention that it gets on your nerves before it becomes ‘that thing’ that drives a wedge between you two and makes the rest of the year painfully awkward and memorable for all the wrong reasons. That said…

Do be considerate of the people you live with. If, like me, you’re naturally inclined to fling your junk everywhere and would rather eat pasta out of a mug than wash a dirty plate, then you’re going to have to learn to keep that to a minimum to maintain a level of peace in the flat.

Similarly, if Cillit Bang was the first thing you thought of packing for halls, and the sight of a stack of unwashed dishes is enough to tip you over the edge, you will have to remember to remind yourself at these times that you are living in student accommodation with real-life students (who, let’s face it, are not exactly known for their cleanliness).

Do set out a daily budget and stick to it. There is nothing more deflating than needing that €20 note to pay for a taxi home, only to find the words ‘Insufficient Funds’

displayed on your ATM screen. I would recommend that you keep track of everything you buy so that you can tell how much money you have leftover from trips to Tesco to spend on nights out, just to make sure that you have enough left to eat. Which leads me to my next point…

Do please try to eat well. Listen to your mother on this one, she’s right! If you can’t eat ‘well’, then for

god’s sake, eat ‘decently‘. Yes, eat full meals. No, a can of beans does not count! Yes, eat vegetables and fruit. Yes, eat breakfast. If you don’t look after yourself then college life will catch up with you, and you will get sick, which means wasting valuable socialising and drinking time.

Do watch out for the ’Fresher 15’. It’s lurking behind every lazy Monday evening pizza delivery and every post-nightclub bag of

For most students from outside Dublin, Trinity Hall (pictured) will be the new place to call home garlic-and-cheese chips you consume. Trinity has a great gym on campus, and if going for a workout isn’t your thing, try walking into college a couple days a week to get some fresh air and burn off that Chinese take-away you ordered last night.

An international perspective on Dublin Ruthi Hymes offers international students some advice on adapting to Irish life Welcome to Trinity’s Freshers’ Week, the massive piss-up you’ve all been waiting for! What’s that you say? You have no idea what Freshers’ Week is about? How can this be? Oh, you’re an International Student. Well, this is awkward…

But we can help! While not everyone has been there, many around campus, myself included, have. There are many aspects of being a Trinity student that you have yet to discover. However, by the time you finish reading this survival guide, you’ll feel a little bit more like you know what you’re doing here; or, at least, you’ll be able to pretend you do.

What you need to know: Being drunk is a perfectly acceptable state of being. Some of you may not yet have realized that walking up Grafton Street while completely plastered is fine, as long as you don’t speak to, or, worse, vomit on a passing Garda. Of course, the rest of you know this, and have come to Dublin specifically for this reason. Just don’t overdo it: you can get alcohol poisoning just as easily

here as at home.

Pay attention to new social codes. The acceptability of certain behaviors differs from country to country, so be sure to keep that in mind, especially when you’re on a night out.

Don’t attempt an Irish accent in front of Irish friends unless you are prepared to endure four years of ridicule. However, you will hear plenty of imitations of your own accent repeated back to you. Pointing out that a Valley Girl accent is to Americans as the Leprechaun accent is to the Irish will do nothing

When it comes to food, just because they call it something familiar doesn’t mean you’ll recognize it!

to stop this.

When it comes to food, just because they call it something familiar doesn’t mean you’ll recognize it. Mexican, Chinese, sweets… even if you love these things back home, you might not love them here. Of course, the opposite is also true.

Keep in mind that your favorites from back home might be made with different ingredients here, and will therefore taste different.

You may also find it difficult to locate ingredients you would have ready access to at home. However, you’ll figure out where to get what you need eventually. Just for reference, however, I would like to point out that Dunnes keeps pasta in the “ethnic foods” aisle.

Slang - just because it sounds familiar doesn’t mean you know what it means. For example: “Shifting,” “meeting,” and “scoring” are all synonyms for what common college happening? Get your mind out of the gutter! They all mean “kissing”, you pervs!

If someone giving you directions tells you to go straight, go straight. Sometimes Dublin’s roads curve, split, or end, so what do you do when you’ve been told to go straight? You do it. Whatever happens, just go as straight as humanly possible and you’ll get there.

And finally, some serious advice: In case of emergency, call 999.

This may be a new go-to number if you’re not from the EU. If you have questions or concerns about living in Dublin or studying at Trinity, talk to your fellow students. Older international students are usually happy to point you in the right direction and the Irish stereotype of friendliness has persisted for a reason. Administrators

mean well, but may have never had to deal with specific issues that may crop up; you’re better off talking to your classmates or consulting the International Students’ Officer or Welfare Officer.

You’re going to have an amazing time. ‘Nuff said.

May the piss-up begin!

View from a student’s window (photo by Elizabeth O’Connell-Thompson)

12

Welcome to fuckin’ Trinity Mark Walsh on love, college, student life and being the other Mark Walsh...

W

e’re back. The summer was far too long.

There’s only so much time Youtube can fill.

Good ol’ college. I do actually love it. If you’re a fresher, you probably will too.

The only thing I achieved this summer was become quite an accomplished Facebook stalker. I realised I’d hit a low point when I found myself tracking down and judging the profile of a girl who’d been photographed in the local newspaper. I managed to keep up with everyone’s whereabouts throughout the Summer via the “current location” thing, too. I’m starting to think people only go away so they can change that. One friend updated his location to a place he was only staying in for one night, between flights. Really, is that necessary?

I say these things because I’m obviously jealous of people who went away, when I stayed at home and worked. It leaves me with no content for the “How was summer?” ice-breaker. Any friends reading this, I’d appreciate if in the future you could stay at home and be miserable, please. And as for you people going on Erasmus, you cunts. You ambitious and admirable cunts.

Anyway, back to college and that.

The main change college brought me was that I was no longer a big fish in a small pond. Back in school I was one of the smart kids. I was like a whale in the Liffey. Or Fungi, that dolphin.

In college I’m more like a Tictac that’s carelessly been discarded into the Atlantic. Everyone is smarter than me. Everyone is more talented. Sometimes people get into really intelligent conversations about politics, and not only do I not have an opinion on the matter, but I don’t even know who or what is being talked about. I sometimes

Read more from Mark Walsh at www.walsho.net

throw in an “mmm” or “yeah” and hope I’ve gotten away with it. I study business and politics, for the record. I have no excuse. I am simply an ignoramus and a moron.

I do take great pleasure in pretending I’m in Hogwarts when I’m walking around college though.

Especially when it’s dark.

Also, I fall in love every day. In school you got to know everyone and eventually you got sick of them, or just became used to the desire to do a sex on them. Every day I walk around college and fall in love with different people. I think the most intense love is the library love.

The girl sits across from you, reading, like the smart, library girl that she is. You pretend to read and study as your mind wanders. She sighs as she turns the page and at that very moment you know that

In college I’m more like a Tic-Tac that’s carelessly been discarded into the Atlantic nobody else could ever make you happy. Until the next day when a completely different library girl sits opposite you.

I envy the Freshers with all this to come. I’m half way through my course now, which is terrifying. In two years time, all going to plan, I’ll be done. I’ll have a degree. Then I’ll be expected to live my life like a real person. I’m not a real person. Feels like only yesterday I was counting my confirmation money. Surely there’s some of that left somewhere to keep me going for a while so I don’t have to get a proper job?

Though I do remember spending a large amount on Wham bars.

My hopes of being an individual in

Photo by Dargan Crowley-Longcollege were quickly dashed. One of the first things most new Trinity students do is meet their tutor. I went in to do just this, all enthusiastic and full of Fresher fun and frolics.

Him: Hello, come on in. What’s your name?

Me: Cheers. I’m Mark Walsh.

Him: Oh yes, the other Mark Walsh.

And there it was. The next four years of my life summed up in four words. “The other Mark Walsh”.

There’s a guy in my course with exactly the same name as me. You just know there’s going to be some sort of mixup at some points, and it’ll all be hilariously annoying. We’ve already had project results get mixed up.

During the summer, I emailed my course office to ask them what subjects I’d picked (yes, I forgot, because I am an idiot). I gave my student number and told them about there being a student with the same name, so be careful. And obviously, as one would assume, the office of one the biggest courses in Ireland’s highest ranked college still fucking managed to send the subjects of the other guy.

Joy. Anyway, this ramble’s gone on long enough.

I wanted to avoid turning this article into an “advice for Freshers” sort of thing, and hopefully I’ve managed that. The only advice I would like to offer is that it’s 2010, and nobody gives a shit about anything anymore, so do what you like and everything’ll be grand.

Joshua Plunkett’s €15 curry for 4 This is a variation of a recipe taken from David Thompson’s super awesome book ‘Thai Food’. It’s basically a curried noodle and chicken soup that is easy to make and relatively hassle free. There are two stages, the first is making the curry paste and the second is the soup itself. It may seem like a lot of ingredients but most of them are things you should have anyway and can use again and again. Best bet is to hit up the Asian market on Drury Street, which will have the ingredients and is good value in comparison to the other food stores in town.

Paste: 4 large shallots, unpeeled, 5/6 garlic cloves, unpeeled, 1 tablespoon of fresh turmeric, 1 tablespoon of fresh ginger, 1 teaspoon coriander seeds, 2/3 dried long red chilies coriander root/a bunch of coriander stems will do (reserve the leaves for garnish) Soup: 1 can of coconut milk, 4 small free range chicken legs, 1 teaspoon sugar, 2 tablespoons soy sauce, 600ml chicken stock/water + 1 stock cube, 3/4 portions of dried egg noodles Garnish: coriander leaves, spring onion, sliced thinly fried breadcrumbs (preferably panko), 8 lime wedges Roast all the ingredients for the paste together at 160 or so until the shallots and garlic are soft, this should take about 35 minutes. Let this cool and then peel the shallots garlic etc. Pound using a pestle and mortar or blend them all together into a paste and season it with a small pinch of salt.

Gently scoop the fat from the can of coconut milk and simmer it gently until it has reduced and is beginning to separate. At this point add the paste and fry for around 5 minutes. Add the chicken legs and simmer for a few minutes, then season with the sugar and soy sauce.

Add in the stock and simmer until the chicken legs are cooked – this should take about 30 minutes.

Prepare the garnishes for the soup. Cut the lime wedges. Slice the spring onion. Fry the breadcrumbs gently in some oil until golden, strain and place on some kitchen paper.

Once the chicken is cooked add in the dried noodles and simmer the soup for another 5-8 minutes until the noodles are cooked. Check the soup for seasoning. Use your judgment and season it accordingly with some salt, soy sauce or a little cayenne pepper.

Evenly spread the noodles between four wide bowls and place a chicken leg on top. Spoon over a ladle or two of the soup and garnish.

13

A Heavenly dose of post-rock Bear in heaven, with halves and cloud castle lake

 Crawdaddy, Harcourt Street, Dublin 2 August 25th

T

he supporting acts, ‘Cloud Castle Lake’ and ‘Halves’, were enough to get me excited about this gig, never mind the headliner Bear in Heaven.

Both bands have received a lot of hype over their ambient sets as well as recently completing sets at last month’s Electric Picnic.

The latest album from headliner Bear in Heaven obtained an 8.4 rating and a ‘Best New Music’ award from Pitchfork (an internet publication famous for criticising new music rigorously). So I was hopeful that their live set would live up to their excellent second album ‘Beast Rest Forth Mouth’.

Setting the mood for the night with their first song ‘Synchronicity’, Cloud Castle Lake’s romantic guitar riffs and alluring falsetto vocals made for an atmospheric opening. And from start to finish, their set was seamless and filled with suspense.

Each track began softly, drawing in the crowd with poignant melodies and eerie vocals. Slowly, a climax was reached, with such subtlety that you wondered how it happened. A set this good was no doubt going to be difficult to follow up, yet I had high hopes for Halves.

In theory, Halves’ set was full of talent and charisma, with the multi-instrumentalist members constantly swapping instruments to play tricky, experimental electronic rock.

Despite a tight set with no mistakes and a huge amount of effort from band members, the tracks played never really developed or took flight, making the set, dare I say, a bit monotonous and

somewhat boring.

Hopefully, Bear In Heaven’s set would be the opposite…

As everyone knows, a gig is nearly always more fun when you know almost every song the band are playing. And since I knew the latest Bear In Heaven album back to front, I expected to enjoy the catchy chants and bewitching synth riffs fully.

Initially however, Jon Philpot didn’t seem to be vocally competent. He later told me he had a chest and throat infection, but after the first three songs, no one ever would have guessed! It must have been something to do with the fact that the band considered their Dublin gig to be the favourite of their European tour (or so they told me).

So don’t be fooled by Bear In Heaven’s handlebar moustaches and pretentious blog ratings. Their addictive melodies ensure that they are a band to impress not only the common folk but also the most judgemental of hipsters.

Don’t be fooled by Bear In Heaven’s handlebar moustaches...

Fleur Moriarty

Clockwise from top left: Bear in Heaven, Bear in Heaven, Halves. Photos by Yan Bourke.

Weezer strike again, but Hurley may be Lost on older fans Hurley

 Weezer Epitaph

Weezer became internationally known nine years ago with Island in the Sun and its ingenious, Spike Jonze-directed video . However, the eclectic four piece have provided an aural aide for a generation of preppy rockers since their formation and quick rise to fame in 1992.

An instantaneous cult figure, frontman Rivers Cuomo became, and to many still is, a demi-god for fans, who no doubt rallied together to support their controversial album Pinkerton, which was widely excoriated by the press - Rolling Stone deemed it ‘one of the worst albums ever.’ A ten year hiatus followed, which was broken by the release of two more albums in two years, and more crucially, a sound far more commercially conformist. Cue a jump in worldwide popularity, juxtaposed by accusatory cries of ‘selling out’ by many longtime Weezerites.

Hurley - no, not really a nod to the perpetually overweight Lost character - is thus bound to cause upset; newfound listeners who favour the poppier ‘Buddy Holly’, ‘Beverly Hills’ and ‘Pork and Beans’, will surely reject a return to their darker, grungier style, and a continuance into mainstream territory could permanenly alienate earlier followers.

Onto the verdict: Their first album since leaving their record label, Weezer have maintained a conscientious awareness of what sells; catchy hooks, identifiable sentiments. However, ‘Run Away’, ‘Hang On’ and ‘Unspoken’ are strikingly impressive nods to their personal yesteryear. The sound which personified and made popular the Geek Chic minority is evident, it’s just not a dominating force on the record.

So, Hurley will do little to lure back those who denounced Weezer for

selling their soul to the business suits, and abandoning the angsty style of their cherished Pinkerton. Nor will it go down in history as an inspired conceptual comeback, overflowing with prodigal creative brilliance. But with a confident mix of poignant, nostalgic ballads and infectious, potential anthems, we get the impression Weezer just don’t care. And really, neither should you.

Katie Abrahams

Hurley’s album cover, depiciting Lost’s Jorge Garcia. Weezer chose the photo,and subsequently named the album after it, due to its “amazing vibe”

14

No stars shining at the Abbey the plough and the stars

 Wayne Jordan The Abbey Theatre

Skippy dies

 Paul Murray Hamish Hamilton 672 Pages

T

here are few plays more synonymous with The Abbey Theatre than Seán O’Casey’s The Plough and the Stars, so it is unsurprising that Wayne Jordan’s revival of it has garnered so much interest from the public. Indeed there seems no better time to revive a play which attempts to fundamentally question notions of Irish society and identity. Jordan’s revival does attempt to modernise the play while also paying homage to its historicity but ultimately falls into a chasm of mediocrity from which it struggles to emerge.

From the opening act, Tom Piper’s set design - with its exposed lighting rigs and material backdrops - only serves to draw attention to the staged nature of the events unfolding and in doing so loses the sense of realism so inherent and fundamental to O’Casey’s original depiction of tenement life.

The set is only one aspect of a far more endemic problem of Jordan’s seeming unwillingness to engage with the harsh reality of tenement life in Dublin. The underlying threat of physical violence between Jack and his wife Nora is all but glossed over, while the underlying political tension of the community is often maligned as a moment more suited to comedic revelry than serious

contemplation.

The production is not only let down by its director’s failure to engage with some of the more serious aspects of the play, it is also let down by some below-standard performances. Denise Gough’s depiction of Nora Clitheroe fails to engage with either the audience or her onstage husband and leaves a void at the centre of the play which cannot be filled.

However it would be unfair to characterise the production as entirely without merit. Indeed, there are several standout performances which add a sense of life to a production which sometimes feels stagnant. Kathy Rose O’Brien’s portrayal of Rosie Redmond is arresting. Her depiction of a manipulative yet impish prostitute demonstrates a maturity far beyond her years and the burst of song with which she ends the opening act is as haunting as it is beautiful. However, it is her cohort, the gregarious Fluther, played by the enigmatic Joe Hanley that steals the show. Hanley is perfectly cast in the role and manages to succeed where many others fail - in portraying a character who is both believable and endearing. Ultimately though the production fails to capitalise on its opportunity to provoke thought amongst its audience.

Prize prospects are dead, but Skippy’s not forgotten Released earlier this year, Paul Murray’s ‘Skippy Dies’ was longlisted for the Man Booker Prize, but failed to make the short-list.

Dissatisfied with this decision, Ryan Kenny reviews just what makes ‘Skippy Dies’ worthy of recognition.

Trinity graduate Paul Murray’s brilliantly written second novel, Skippy Dies is my book of the year so far. Comic and tragic in equal measure, Murray’s story of life in a south Dublin boys’ school is best described as a sparklingly original take on the familiar themes of adolescent life. The same old cast of teachers and bullies, parents and friends, inhabit the same clichéd landscape of school corridors, neighbourhood parks and street corners, and explore the same wellworn themes of growing up, all weaving together to form the fabric of a teenaged life with which we are very familiar, and also very bored.

Don’t be deceived by the tired familiarity of the setting, Skippy Dies is a fresh, moving and entertaining read, vividly realised with Murray’s darkly humourous style.

The destiny of Daniel ‘Skippy’ Juster is clear from the outset, and within a matter of pages we witness his death in the middle of a doughnut-eating competition with his room-mate Ruprecht. Only then are we brought back to the beginning of the story, and introduced to Skippy and his classmates, and the cast of delightfully realised, at times

almost cartoonish, characters with which Murray has populated Skippy’s world, Seabrook College.

Despite the unavoidably comic nature of this novel, with its hilarious caricatures of so many familiar elements of adolescent life, it is at times genuinely tragic, subtly evoking the desolation and disappointment of growing up. While we follow Skippy and his friends through their second year at Seabrook, and their encounters with bullies, drugs and girls, we are also introduced to Howard ‘the Coward’ Fallon, a former pupil and now teacher at Seabrook. Haunted by a shadowy incident from his time in the school, unhappy with his job, his relationship, and every bit as infatuated with a new substitute teacher as his hormonal students, Howard embodies the desolation which lies just beneath the care-free surface of school life.

A lengthy read at well over six hundred pages, it never loses its fresh, entertaining touch, though the story can lag in places.

However, a poignant observation or offhand gag are never far away, and Murray’s knack for schoolboy dialogue gives every scene the kind of irresistible humour that fans of The Inbetweeners are sure to recognise. An ambitious, impressive and fantastically written, genuine tragicomedy, Skippy Dies is simply a must-read.

Ryan Kenny

Denise Gough and Cathy Belton on stage (photo by Ros Kavanagh) Once so controversial that it caused outrage and riots, the play now hardly raises an eyebrow from the crowd.

Indeed several hard hitting dramatic scenes, including Bessie Burgess’ final moments onstage are met with muffled laughter which suggests that the message Jordan is trying to convey to the audience is lost in translation.

Undoubtedly, Jordan’s revival of an Irish classic with a two month run

Trinity orchestral society performIng the songs of radiohead

 Block-T, Smithfield, Dublin 1 August 26th

during the tourist season is aimed primarily at visitors to Dublin and indeed this portion of the audience responded with rapturous applause, seemingly unconcerned about the anachronistic accents. However, it is a sense of mediocrity rather than passion which surrounds Jordan’s production, which is ultimately unfulfilling.

David Doyle

No Surprises as Orchestral Society triumph yet again In February ‘09, the Trinity Orchestral Society performed a selection of Sigur Rós songs in the Chapel. The huge success of this event led them to consider other bands, finally choosing Radiohead.

Although not a Radiohead fan, when I was asked last-minute to go to this event on August 26th I decided I had nothing to lose: orchestral renditions are generally interesting, the €8 entry fee was being donated to Temple Street Children’s Hospital, and the added BYOB clause seemed like this was something I’d regret skipping.

The entire event was set up in a very small amount of time, as organiser Brian Denvir stated, “The gig was very last minute – we booked the venue and set up a facebook group two days beforehand, but the event spread through word of mouth.”

The event took place in Block T in Smithfield, as Brian felt “the Exam Hall is an adequate musical venue, but ... far from ideal for an orchestra. Block T suited this time because we were ... looking for a more laid-back, intimate setting.”

Block T is a warehouse-type performance space in an inconspicuous building less than five minutes from the Luas. According to Brian, the venue gave the gig “an underground feeling ... which added to the atmosphere.” The event was very casual - there was no stage and no seating, and after the first song the audience went from standing to

sitting on the ground.

Although the atmosphere was casual, there was a clear sense of respect during the performance.

While instruments were being played and lyrics sung, the room fell silent, besides the occasional distinctive sound of a can being opened.

The musicians were amazing, the instruments sounded lyrical, and at times I was trying to decipher the lyrics from the melody of the string section.

Leanna Byrne, a Radiohead fan, referring to Sallay Garnett, the only female singer in a group of five, said it was “refreshing to hear a female voice undertake songs which are mostly sung by males”. Between Sallay, the other singers (David Tapley, Dan Forde, Pats O’Leary and Owen Denvir), and the musicians, thirteen songs were performed, including ‘Exit Music For A Film’, ‘Paranoid Android’, and ‘No Suprises’.

Overall, the event was a success, raising €1100 for Temple Street; it was great music for a great cause and I left feeling moved. As the concerts are so popular, the Orchestral Society intends to hold them annually, with Daft Punk next in line.

A selection of the Radiohead songs will be performed in the GMB at 4pm on September 23rd well worth seeing during Freshers’ Week!

Michelle O’Connor

15

A Whore abroad Caoimhe Bradseá Having vomited all over myself and sitting barefoot in the middle of Harcourt Street during 6th year I had something of an epiphany. Was I destined to spend the rest of my life getting off with the kind of guys that wear under-sized Abercrombie Polos, dye the tips of their hair and consider a kebab from Zaytoon a successful date? Probably. However, could I manage to outrun this fate by moving somewhere altogether more sophisticated in search of royalty? Possibly.

I decided then and there that rather than spend the next three years flirting with Luke Fitzgerald wannabes I was going to fly the nest, if only to take the vomiting to a new arena. Eventually I would work past the days of mindless drinking and fall into the arms of someone rich and well connected, I would return to Ireland a paragon of style, poise and success. The following morning I applied to UCAS. A year later, and after an unfortunate mix-up with Oxford (it was all politics) I found myself bound for Edinburgh. This, of course, was not the plan. I was supposed to be attempting to woo the future politicians while punting, not watching Scottish youths throw battered crème eggs at one another. I took solace in the fact that the Queen spends time in Balmoral Castle. I was simply coming at things from a different angle, as I was sure Harry and William would understand.

It transpired that Edinburgh is in fact a hub of Oxbridge rejects - well, Oxbridge rejects and heroin addicts, but they tended not to mix well. It turned out that not many of these Oxbridge rejects knew much about Ireland at all. In fact, they didn’t even know where D4 was, rendering my plan to mention a fake Donnybrook address obsolete. I knew then that I was going to have to alter appearances if I was going to get anywhere. I figured that a more recognisably Irish name (the less pronounceable, the better) would give off more of an impression of grandeur.

I wanted to go more for descendants of Brian Boru and Cúchulainn and that sort of thing. Unfortunately, this was a dead-end as well. I settled on convincing a group of Edwards and Lotties that I was Oscar Wilde’s

great-granddaughter.

This approach proved to yield more success: towards the end of term I had managed to pull not only the guy on the cover of the alternative student prospectus, but also a lesser known member of the English version of ‘The Hills’. At this point, though, I had hoped that I would have been bound for stardom.

I expected at least a guest spot on the next season as the brooding girlfriend who later goes on to do bigger and better things than the stars themselves.

Typically though, my English Brody Jenner was reluctant to talk about the role. In fact, he had used the money to go on a world tour and hadn’t looked back at the frivolous world of stardom. Apparently, no amount of praise and blowjobs on my part would make him consider returning to the limelight with me in tow. I could have been the Irish Lauren Conrad!

Reality television, it seemed, was not to be my medium of success. As for the alternative student prospectus, it turned out the guy was just in the right place at the right time.

This method of discovery was perhaps the way forward, though. I needed to appear to be in the right place at the right time, when in fact I knew exactly where and when the right time was, and had conspired over a period of months to get there.

The Celeb Corner Mary-Elizabeth Bruton

I

t’s been a few years since we’ve been reminded of the unimaginable stupidity of Paris Hilton.

Fondly do I recall the days of The Simple Life, when no matter how much dope you stuck up your ass or braincells you destroyed drowning your misery in a vodka bottle, you were still never going to be quite as mentally challenged as Ms Hilton. Sure, in recent years we hear about her new boyfriends (the women goes through men like I go through Miley Cyrus posters), or maybe we’ve tried her new perfume in the hopes that we too can smell of herpes, but really she just hasn’t been around that much to act as the poster child for the over -privileged and inbred.

That however has changed in the last few weeks.

You may or may not have heard of Paris’s run-ins with the law in the last couple of months – first there was her arrest for having cannabis in South Africa during the world cup. Paris managed to get out of that situation in a way us civilians just couldn’t pull off; she came out with some excuse of it belonging to a friend.

She got away with it. Then it happened again, and oh what a surprise it belonged to another friend. And if

this wasn’t enough to make you think that Paris really needs to find some new goddamn friends, one day while driving around Las Vegas like only an heiress can do, she gets stopped by the good old cops. What happens, you ask? Well the cops find a little baggy of cocaine in her purse. Now surely you are thinking “well Paris you are busted”. No no - not Paris. Turns out, the bag actually belonged to her friend. Shocking, I know. She did get arrested this time though, and also managed to get herself banned from a few different hotels in Las Vegas. Classy.

In other celebrity-related news, Jennifer Aniston went on a date. Yes, that is as boring as it sounds. How this still manages to create headlines (by headlines I mean People.com headlines) is beyond me. Listen, I am well and truly in the Team Aniston camp – Jolie can go starve with all those babies she’s trying to adopt for all I care. But while Aniston can do no wrong in my eyes, I really don’t care to hear about every single date she goes on. How does anyone still care about this?

Her love life is about as interesting as my Miley Cyrus memorabilia collection. Anyway, peace out.

Editors: Michelle Doyle Conor Sneyd Music: Katie Abrahams Fashion: Colin McGrane Art: Rosa Abbott Books: Ryan Kenny Copy Editing: Ruthi Hynes Lead Illustrator: Sam Horgan Cover Illustration: Kathi Burke Published with The University Times 6 Trinity College Dublin 2

Basebar

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DUBLIN’S BEST STUDENT GAY NIGHT

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doors 10:30pm €5 (student ID) / €7 roar, govt id, over 18s

sambuca shot €2 tequila shot €2 apple sour shot €2 pint guinness €3 pint budweiser €3 pint heineken €3 pint carlsberg €3 coors/heineken btl €3

alcopops €3 glass of prosecco €4 vodka & energy €4 vodka & coke €4 vodka & 7up €4 rum & coke €4.50 gin & tonic €4.50 select cocktails €5