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FROM THE EDITOR I have a simple request. Read the magazine. I’ve been told many times, readers start with my letter, go to the backpage, then thumb through the rest. Not this month, as this issue has been a year in the making. It may seem foolish for a lifestyle magazine to have the entire feature centered around homelessness. Thus, my request. I have been reading about what cities are doing, not doing, and cannot do. I have stretched the limits on solutions, quick fixes, long-term resolutions, and Band-Aids placed over gaping wounds. I discovered genius moves, creative concepts, and genuine attempts at balancing humanity. I want you to read and unearth your own revelation while sharpening your perception. With research and the reality that my dream came to fruition, I was fortunate to have several notable conversations. I’m so thankful for busy people giving their time for difficult subjects. Laura Cootsona, director of the Jesus Center; Joy Amaro, director of the Torres Shelter; and Suzi Kochems, saddled with solutions for our homeless population, were gracious enough to hear me out. Their willingness to answer questions with clear answers, offer insights I didn’t find, and demonstrate a caring approach to each of their demanding positions was beyond reproach. Not one of their names appears in the piece. Their wisdom graces every page. I cannot thank them enough. Our theme, “The Ambivalence Surrounding the Houseless,” revolves around featured stories. Our Local Spotlight, Alyssa Cain-Nolan’s story is not only powerful, it left me wondering what I’m doing with my life? Our cover story, “The Anchor and the Activist,” follows the companionship of a former houseless soul and his angel. Their story cuts to the enormous quandary wrapped around the move from homeless to citizen. Another must read to gain the proper consciousness of the light at the end of the tunnel. Our featured piece, bearing the theme as its title, places the reader in the middle of “the strange combination of proximity and distance” we find ourselves in when we are fully faced with our current houslessness. It strives for balance and challenges readers to “pick up the onion” and peel away the multiple layers. It’s meant to be read and reread, discussed, even cussed at, while maintaining a chance to make a difference.
UPGRADED LIVING STAFF AVEED KHAKI Publisher/Owner KEVIN DOLAN Editor-in-Chief
NERISSA QUINN
SHELLY BRANDON
Production Director
Writer
JASON CORONA
TIM MILHORN
Sales Director
Writer
DARREN MICHELS
FRANK REBELO
Product Integration & Mobility Strategy
Photographer
CONTRIBUTORS LANCE FERRIS
SWEENEY & MICHEL
Health
Finance
HRiQ
JASON CORONA
Human Resources
Liquor Toolbox
TIMM SCOTT
DERM BAR
What Are You Comprised Of?
Beauty
On to November—but first, please read and then vote.
For editorial or general magazine inquiries, please contact: Kevin Dolan, 530.894.8091 kevin@upgradedliving.com
Kevin Dolan Editor-in-Chief
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For sales inquiries, please contact: Jason Coronoa, 530.591.2634 Sales@UpgradedLiving.com
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WRITTEN BY SHELLY BRANDON | PHOTO PROVIDED BY HER MOTHER, TINA
A Seven-Year-Old Inspiration Seven-year-old Brooke is a second grader at Chapman Elementary School and loves learning about math and writing. Brooke also loves to paint, draw, and color; really, she loves anything that has to do with art. In addition to school, she loves the time she gets to spend at the Boys and Girls Clubs of the North Valley (BGCNV). Brooke says, “I have a lot of fun with my friends and the staff there, and we do a lot of activities, a lot of art, and a lot of sports.” The team at BGCNV is “so impressed with her maturity level and how responsible she is. She always participates, helps out the staff, enjoys arts and crafts; she is joyful and makes friends with anyone.” At home, Brooke plays with her younger brother, Johnny, and her older brother, Doc, along with her dog and new kitten. She misses spending time with her friends at school but tries to keep in contact with them through writing letters. Missing friends and traditional school hasn’t been the only struggle Brooke has had to face this past year. Her mom, Tina, says that Brooke doesn’t really know how to bring the subject up, but she was recently diagnosed with Rapid-onset Obesity with Hypothalamic Dysfunction, Hypoventilation, 10
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and Autonomic Dysregulation (ROHHAD). As a result of the disease, she has also developed Type 2 diabetes. Tina explains, “She’s had to deal with long hospital stays and learn about the body, diseases, hospitals, and doctors, along with what she has to do to care for herself.” She’s also had to learn all about nutrition and how it affects her insulin levels. She has even learned to give herself insulin injections. How does Brooke handle all of these new challenges? She talks to her nurses, and getting to know them helped her feel more comfortable in the hospital. Her mom noticed the way that Brooke “watched everything that was going on and became knowledgeable about her condition,” and believes this gave her the tools she needed to better cope with her diagnosis and understand what was going on. Brooke smiles and admits she uses stress balls a lot in dealing with her multiple doctor visits and extended hospital stays. Brooke’s cheery smile and bright outlook on the day belie her recent health struggles and bring inspiration to anyone who is lucky enough to meet her.
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Table Mountain Eye Care perfectly suited to ease eye care If you follow Upgraded Living, you’ve likely noticed something has been largely missing since the March issue. Though most of the magazine has remained unchanged, there has been a relative absence of stories heralding the opening of new businesses throughout Butte County and, with the current climate, it comes as no surprise. There have certainly been plenty of stories involving pivots and changes, but few where new business or expansion is concerned. That being said, we find ourselves especially excited when such a story does surface, and even more so when the story involves one of our favorite local businesses, North Valley Eye Care, which is part of the Ridge Eye Care family. 12
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Since the Camp Fire devastated the Paradise community in 2018, most medical service providers found themselves overwhelmed with an influx in traffic from new patients seeking care. As Paradise residents settled in Chico and Oroville, many encountered long waits when it came to scheduling appointments, if they were able to schedule an appointment at all. Many medical offices were unable to accept new patients altogether. North Valley Eye Care was able to accommodate the patients from their sister Ridge Eye Care office but they were busting at the seams. As 2019 continued, it became clear something would need to be done. Recognizing the enhanced need for
eye care in both Chico and Oroville, the owners of Ridge Eye Care began searching for a new building to expand their practice in the spring of 2019. Focused on alleviating longer wait times and providing state-of-the-art eye care to the North State, they selected a location on Oro Dam Boulevard in Oroville that satisfied all of their needs—it was large enough to allow considerable traffic, and it was central enough to be easily accessible to all residents of Butte County as well as those living in nearby rural communities. They also wanted the practice to be as familiar to residents as it was accessible, so they sought out Oroville’s best eye doctor, and welcomed Dr. Carlson, Oroville’s resident optometrist of
PHOTOS BY FRANK REBELO & AVEED KHAKI
over 30 years, into the Ridge Eye Care family. With the perfect partnership and location in place, they set out designing the new facility that summer. Halfway through the build-out, they were presented with yet another challenge—COVID-19. The size of the new location more than accommodated the new guidelines minimizing interaction between patients and provided the greatest possible distancing in waiting areas, hallways, and examination areas. They returned to the drawing board and drafted a new layout. The end result was a design built not only to be totally COVID-19 compliant, but more thoughtful all around for the health and well-being of their patients.
Eye Care’s own Dr. Isaac Barthelow and stunning artwork of paper and sculpture by the late Dennis Leon, a local artist whose work is included in art collections around the United States, including the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art and The DeYoung Museum. “We wanted to make the space feel peaceful and inviting, but also provide enough detail work so there was always something new to discover when patients visit,” said Jessica. “We think the space does exactly that.” It would be difficult to disagree as the expansive
space alone provides new opportunities for exploration around every corner. The office minimizes interaction between patients by utilizing a loop. Each patient begins at the start of the loop in the waiting area—which seats 60 patients comfortably—before moving to one of the five pretest rooms. From there, the patient will either wait in the meditation-inspired dilation room or, if unnecessary, skip it and visit one of the seven examination suites directly. If surgical intervention is needed, the patient will visit the fully outfitted
After nearly one year of construction, Table Mountain Eye Care finally opened its doors at the beginning of July. One of the largest in Northern California, the 7,000 square foot facility is modern in every way possible. With towering ceilings, walls of windows, and ample natural lighting, the space seems more akin to a spa than a doctor’s office. The interior design, dreamed up by the practice’s marketing director and resident designer, Jessica Farrell, complements the space perfectly with bold yet unobtrusive colors, and a blend of industrial and rustic materials that speak to the office’s location in Northern California. The walls are adorned with stunning photography taken by Ridge 13
surgical suite which is located next in the loop. Finally, the patient will reach a fork at the end of the loop, where they can visit the optical department for eyewear by turning right, or continuing straight ahead to reception. If a visit to the optical department is needed, continuing through the space will position the patient on the opposite side of the reception desk. In essence, the flow of traffic always goes one way throughout the space, minimizing any opportunity for patients to cross paths while visiting the office. For those who are in need of more in-depth surgeries, like cataract, glaucoma, or macular degeneration, the office has surgery coordination offices directly through the entrance door to ensure patients need only take a few steps in for a consultation. Even with all of this in place, there are still countless hand sanitizing stations and plexiglass barriers to further protect visitors. The optical department, itself, is also particularly worthy of note, with well over a thousand pairs of glasses and sunglasses on hand to try on. Multiple desks allow for one-on-one consultations while maintaining proper distancing and a brand new Fusion UV Sanitizer allows for glasses to be fully sanitized immediately after they’re worn, before being placed back on the rack for others to try on. Table Mountain Eye Care is headed up by Samantha Marshall, previously the surgery coordinator at North Valley Eye Care in Chico. It is the seventh private clinic in the Ridge Eye Care family, following North Valley Eye Care in Chico, Ridge Eye Institute in Paradise, Royo Eye Care in Marysville, Feather River Eye Care in Yuba City, Anderson Eye Care in Anderson, and Cascade Eye Care in Redding. The seven clinics are also complemented by six rural eye clinics throughout Northern California and another soon to open in Oroville, bringing the total to 14 clinics throughout the North State. With an amazing team and all the latest in diagnostic equipment and treatment options available, Table Mountain Eye Care is perfectly suited to ease the burden of long wait times for our underserved population. They even provide telemedicine and curbside visits for individuals who would prefer maximum distancing during the COVID-19 pandemic. Best of all, they are in fact accepting new patients at this time. TO SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT, CALL TABLE MOUNTAIN EYE CARE AT 530-922-2020 BETWEEN 8:30AM-5:30PM MONDAY-FRIDAY. FOR MORE INFORMATION, VISIT THEM ONLINE AT WWW.TABLEMOUNTAINEYECARE.COM 14
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A modern day good samaritan It is said, you don’t choose your path; it chooses you. If so, Alyssa Cain-Nolan should have seen all of this coming right at her. Empathy is the emotional and responsive understanding of the feelings and thoughts of another. It is one thing to have an emotional response when walking by someone in need, and quite another to have the responsive instinct to find out what to do to help. Emotion leads to pity; response leads to solutions. Alyssa developed this vicarious relationship with people in need as a person who has experienced need herself. She moved to Concow in 2005, leaving the East Bay behind her. She soon fell in love with Concow and its surrounding nature. In the summer of 2008, she lost everything to a wildfire. In addition, she has also struggled with homelessness. Alyssa relays, “There was a time in my life when all I wanted was a place to put my toothbrush.” Easy to see, she is the quintessential empathetic human being. One who, when a need arises, is ready and willing to harness her emotions and respond with fervor. Alyssa was working at a nursing home in Oroville, with a five-month old baby in tow,
when the Camp Fire exploded on The Ridge. She gave what she could at the time but was left with an overbearing need to help. She turned to prayer. The response was guidance to build tiny homes. Alyssa cried out loud, “I don’t have the money for that!” The response was swift and to the point, “I didn’t ask you to fund it; I asked you to build them.” The next morning, Alyssa turned to social media with a GoFundMe page for building a single tiny home. The next day, it was fully funded, followed by donations to build ten more. This all came with volunteer labor to assist in building them. Alyssa admits she did not even know how to read a tape measure and had never built anything. So, she set out watching over 2,000 videos, all about building tiny homes. Task number one—she needed to track down the proper trailer for framing. She drove to Modesto to purchase one. The first expense totalled $400.00. Paulo Coelho’s novel, The Alchemist, comes with the subtitle, “A Parable About Following Your Dream.” Two lines from the novel stand out. “It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting,” and “When you want something, all of the universe conspires in
helping you to achieve it.” Certainly, Coelho knew about the Alyssa Cain-Nolans in the world. Her picture would fit nicely on the cover. She knew this was “her dream and her job,” but she always had doubts in the front and back of her mind. Soon after the first fully furnished home giveaway, the universe came into full view. It appeared to Alyssa during a phone conversation with Scott Paris, a man who was clearly vetting her. He said, “I am sending $10,000 for two homes, and if you can’t get them done, you're in trouble.” She kept in touch by sending pictures of the progress. He funded six more homes. Alyssa admitted the doubts were fading as this was like a “shot of vitamin D” right in her heart! The universe was just getting started. Sewa International is a Hindu faithbased humanitarian nonprofit service organization specializing in disaster relief and rehabilitation. The Sewa Bay Area chapter’s director contacted Alyssa with news they were not only going to fund five homes but would also send volunteers to help build them. These volunteers worked for Google and Apple. As Alyssa’s puts 19
it, “Here were all these intelligent and beautiful people, and I’m showing them how to put screws in place.” Clif Bar was next, utilizing their service learning component called “In Good Company.” Aside from providing bars for the workers, the company funded three homes. They, too, sent 40 workers to build, and Alyssa noted, “They killed it!” Next up, Lutheran Social Services, out of Minnesota, came out to see what was happening for themselves. As they were leaving, Alyssa was casually informed they would be funding ten homes and left a check for $75,000. The universe kept showing up, this time in the form of a “community build-off,” featuring 75 people from Sacramento, Bakersfield, and Los Angeles. The build-off judged who could get the most done in the time constraint, and provided a t-shirt and catered lunch. Alyssa shared, “It was very competitive.” Volunteers from Chicago arrived next, volunteering five days of their time. They were followed by a group of construction students from Colorado State who stayed for an entire month. Besides the productivity offered by these groups, Alyssa was delighted to learn even more about construction. If all this was not enough, The Jersey Boys from, where else, New Jersey, arrived to donate their time as well. Alyssa’s dream had turned into the community’s reward. To date, there have been more than 3,000 volunteers, and almost 40 fully furnished homes have been funded. However, there remains 500 people on the waiting list. Alyssa readily admits, “I discovered I have 20
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a heart and never knew how much fun it was to build homes for others.” She also is a “solutions person,” and knows “the model is the key.” The last home given away was to a VietNam veteran who had been living in a tent for the past 18 months. The giveaway was on Veteran’s Day and proved to be the most emotional of all. He revealed he never believed he would have a bed again. The experience led Alyssa to commit to a Veteran Village, which will not only provide housing, but also other needs and wrap-around services like behavioral health. She is also partnering up with a group known as Engineers Without Borders to construct a tiny home village in Concow. They have helped put the entire package together, including the structure design, two architects, and landscape designers. The 35 home village for Camp Fire survivors will feature a planned co-op, playground, and community kitchen. Alyssa’s smile brightens as she says, “I’m out of my skin over this one, it is so cool!” SEWA has already promised $250,000. Alyssa does not limit her dream; she has always known the feelings about homelessness range from “bleeding heart to not in my backyard.” Next up, will be a 30-unit tiny house campus for the homeless, equipped with wrap-around services including job training, mental health, and substance abuse services. The end goal is self sufficient citizens and more prayers to be answered. We celebrate Alyssa and her “can do, will do” energy. So did Senator Jim Nielson, as he nominated her for Woman of the Year. Due to COVID-19, the ceremony to honor her has been postponed. We look forward to watching the continued success of her dream and her job. If you wish to donate, volunteer to help, or both, contact her directly at tinypinefoundation@gmail.com.
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YOUR HEALTH THE GAP, GRIEF, AND GRACE
Have you found yourself bouncing between happiness, sadness, frustration, exhaustion, distraction, excitement, disappointment, and being overwhelmed? There is a good chance you kept saying, “Yes.” Lately, I hear a lot of, “I'm just angry—I’m mad and sad.” Perhaps you have felt your own emotions on a spin cycle outburst repeating over and over. For myself, I can fairly say there have been equal parts of exhaustion, frustration, and mad-sad. Between the fires, a global pandemic, political and social unrest, and finding a new normal, life became confusing and uncomfortable. We’re in the gap. “Being “in the gap” can be disorienting and even scary. Nothing to hold on to, no sense of direction, not even a hint of what choices and possibilities might lie ahead.” - Osho If you're like most folks, you hate being in the gap. As humans, we have been habituated to fill the gaps. We were trained by our ancestors to resist cold, survive extreme heat, endure on long journeys at high altitudes—and yes, like it or not, survive global pandemics. If you’re like most people, being in the gap feels like starting over. Being in the gap shows up in the emotional structures within each of us, the layers that make us feel unsure. I believe this is grief at its core. There’s no playbook for our emotions and, as frustrating as it is, we must be in the gap. Our ancestral DNA makes us all snowflakes. We are individually complicated, and the layers beneath the surface make each of us unique. As a result, grief and the gap can make us uncomfortable, vulnerable, and raw. We must give ourselves the grace of grief, without force, without rush, discovering the layers of loss and letting go. 22
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“Things falling apart is a kind of testing and a kind of healing. We think the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.” - Pema Chödrön We may have to be in the gap a little longer. There is the possibility that what we have been learning through this messy and unwanted process is we are all touched by grief. Regretfully, there are no shortcuts or alternative routes – the way out is the way through. There is no amount of sad, mad, or yelling that will speed up the process. What we have is the capacity for resilience that has been handed down by our tribal ancestors. What we have is community and grace. We have the opportunity to deepen our relationships, recognizing the parts of our lives that were missing. Perhaps it’s a chance to reset—to let go of the things that no longer serve us. Acknowledging the gap, allowing for the grief, and creating the space for grace, may offer deeper healing. Take time for a reset, with compassion, gentleness, and grace. “Allow us to sit at the edge of the cliff for as long as we need to before we can move forward. Keep us from hurrying the process, knowing it is in our readiness for leaping we gain our sovereignty.” - Pixie Lighthorse Lance Ferris is a licensed psychotherapist and long-time Yoga instructor with a love for brain and body-based healing. Contact Lance by phone at 530-592-7847 or email lance@lanceferris.com
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LINE AWAY, LINE AWAY LINE AWAY ALL You're checking your face in the mirror and, all of a sudden, you see a line—or two. Worse, maybe you even see three! When did those frown lines appear, and what canbe done to fix them? Botox and other similar products have been in circulation for years now. When administered correctly, they are safe, effective, and dramatically reduce the appearance of moderate to severe frown lines. Treatments are quick, relatively painless—as very fine needles are used—and do not radically change one's appearance. These products work by reducing the muscle activity that causes the lines to form. Frowning, squinting, and even laughing can contribute to the deepening of these dermocreases. Injections are performed every 3-6 months, depending on the strength of the muscle being injected, and you need not worry about getting a "frozen face"! Our trained nurses inject conservatively, ensuring that you keep a natural and relaxed look.
There are some situations where there’s reason not to use Botox and similar products, so a brief medical history is taken first during your free consultation. Once fully assessed, the nurse will decide if you are a good candidate for the procedure. The amount injected will be determined by your facial anatomy, your musculature, and what your overall concerns are, which of course is different from one individual to the next. The nurse will thoroughly explain the procedure and any possible side effects that could occur to ensure your full confidence before proceeding. Here, at the DermBar Med-Spa, we strive to enhance your own natural features, and want you to look like the best version of you! If you decide that Botox or injectable fillers are for you, call us to schedule your free consultation!
BEAUTY ADVICE
VIA
DERMBAR MEDSPA
85 Declaration Dr. Suite 100 Chico, CA 95973 | 530.342.2672
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Reading Through Disquieted Times
To me, reading is sacred. Reading is knowledge, answers to burning questions, and clarity through clouded times, like these. It's the best tool of distraction. In the unprecedented and deeply divided times we find ourselves, reading becomes imperative. A funny thing happened to me on a recent walk—Lady A sang in my ears: I run from hate, I run from prejudice, I run from pessimists, but I run too late. Sometimes, running away just doesn’t work. I couldn't stop thinking about who I would run from and who I would ‘turn’ to. Actually, it’s not who, but what I turn to. I turn to my bookshelf. You see, ignorance is not bliss. Ignorance without an opinion is not good, and ignorance with an opinion fares far worse. I do not wish to go about my life wearing the ‘blinkers’ forced upon Kentucky race horses to keep them in line. I want my eyes wide open and my peripheral vision maximized. Reading ensures this. Here’s an offering of what I turn to for remedies of those three critical words Lady A sang. These readings make me uncomfortable, sad, frightened, wowed, invincible, and vulnerable. I feel it’s best to be educated in this manner. If you want an accurate glimpse of what it is like to wake up Black each and every day, read the Prologue to Ralph Ellison’s “Invisible Man.” Be prepared to find a place by yourself to recover. Then, try reading the entire book. Want a true perspective on the Holocaust? Read chapter 34 of Pat Conroy’s Beach Music. It makes Schindler’s List seem like a 30
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Disney movie. The chapter’s first two words are, “So, Jack”. So, read—really read the book. It's my all-time favorite. Want to discover the power of the pronoun? Pick up Sandra Cisneros’ House on Mango Street and read the chapter titled “Red Clowns”. Go back to the instructions following the prologue and repeat. Then, turn to the chapter titled “Those Who Don’t” and be prepared to nod your head. It would be to your benefit to read the other 31 chapters. To gain insight and understanding of the difficult concept of the T in LGBTQ, read Julie Ann Peters’ young adult novel, Luna. You will cringe, swell with tears in your eyes, laugh out loud, and be enlightened, all while falling in love with the wonderful central character, Regan. I find myself returning to Sharon Creech’s Love That Dog because I do, and I did, and a good cry can be rewarding. Want to discover the dangers attached with building walls? Read T. C. Boyle’s Tortilla Curtain. Sometimes, a mirror is the best perspective. Finally, there is a list of reads that raise awareness of this current-not-current movement. I'd start with Ta-Nehisi Coates’ Between the World and Me, written in the form of a letter to his 15-year-old son. It builds beautifully and without apology on Ellison’s time-honored treatise. Captivating reading; captivated hearts.
With Elections Comes Change
BY RENEE MICHEL, MBA, AND JOE SWEENEY, CFP ®, FINANCIAL ADVISORS AT SWEENEY & MICHEL, LLC
The election is a month away, and as social unrest has grown in 2020, so has the Democratic frontrunner, Joe Biden, in the polls. History reminds us polls are not always accurate—they were wrong in 2016—and anything can happen. In either case, investors need to prepare for a very real possibility of change in the White House. Here’s our view on possible headwinds and tailwinds for stocks: Headwinds — Tax increase proposals by Biden & Co are the core argument behind predictions the stock market will drop. Corporate, Personal and Capital Gain taxes are all expected to increase. Increased regulation is always a concern for businesses, and it’s certainly on the table. While President Trump repealed hundreds of industry regulations, Biden will likely sign multiple executive orders reinstating many of them. American companies are no stranger to changing legislation every few years, but it does come with a cost of compliance. Smaller shareholder returns? Stock buybacks have been the new target in Washington. The lawmakers' public push is for excess corporate cash to be used to increase wages or expand the workforce, rather than reward shareholders. It’s unlikely that buybacks are made illegal, but they’re certainly a threat to be publicly frowned upon. Tailwinds — Stimulus bills could offer a one-time offset to tax hikes. The early Biden proposal does include spending measures. The Infrastructure bill alone is estimated at nearly $1 trillion for the economy. Health care and clean energy initiatives are expected as well. Tax credits for child care and family caregivers would apply to the majority of the population and could help. These are projected to be between $5k-$8k each and could help spur the economy and productivity. Stock Market History suggests a Democratic president would not be a bad thing: Although conventional wisdom says Wall Street favors business-friendly Republicans, Since 1928, the S&P 500 has averaged 13.3% annually under Democrats, compared to 7.7% under Republican presidents. In Short we expect political rhetoric to lead to a volatile November and December for the stock market. However, it is important to remember the White House has far less impact on the stock market than the overall economy. With interest rates at 0%, a recovering economy after COVID-19, and technology improving lives everywhere, we do not expect a large market crash. Though volatile, stocks are historically the best way to participate in the growth and ingenuity of humanity.
Renée Michel, MBA and Joe Sweeney, CFP® | 196 Cohasset Road, Suite 100, Chico CA 95926 (530) 487-1777 | renee@sweeneymichel.com | joe@sweeneymichel.com | www.sweeneymichel.com Sources: www.irs.gov; www.ssa.gov; www.medicare.gov | Sweeney & Michel, LLC is a Registered Investment Adviser. This brochure is solely for informational purposes. Advisory services are only offered to clients or prospective clients where Sweeney & Michel, LLC and its representatives are properly licensed or exempt from licensure. Past performance is no guarantee of future returns. Investing involves risk and possible loss of principal capital. No advice may be rendered by Sweeney & Michel, LLC unless a client service agreement is in place. 32
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The Anchor & The Activist Michael Benson graduated from Durham pyramid with ‘basic needs’ at the bottom. High School and enrolled into Butte College Categorized as psychological, they are: which, at the time, was on the same food, water, warmth, and rest. Michael campus. He moved from Butte College understood homelessness made satisfying to Chico State and studied agriculture, two of them difficult. He muses, “Here’s before going on to Oregon State University once normal people doing normal things where he specialized in horticulture. The while, all along, they must live in public extensive education paid off as Michael spaces. Eating, sleeping, brushing teeth took a job outside of Richvale in the center or hair—any normal, everyday thing, I got of the agricultural world. He was working to do all of these in public spaces.” In his on the farm when the first fainting episode three-and-one-half years as a homeless occurred. He just fainted. The episode person, there was always one vital need— did not appear to be anything serious to have a bathroom. Every human need or concerning. The faintings continued, becomes part of the street, and when any though, and became more frequent. The of it gets shut down, the self esteem of medical issue eventually prevented Michael each individual disappears. At the time, from driving to work, resulting in the loss the Chico landscape was not dotted by of his job. Then he lost everything. The end many homeless people, so it was certainly result came with the diagnosis of late onset not as controversial as now. As he notes, bipolar disease. With the diagnosis in place, “Visibility is the key.” Michael navigated Michael was officially homeless. through the Park Avenue corridor and often slept behind Melody Hall. He moved spots Michael Benson knows about Maslow’s for safety and for the neverending search hierarchy of needs represented as a for much needed warmth and softness. To 34
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this moment, he still feels the isolation and disconnect. There were times when he would ride his bike all night, peddling as far as he could, “just to get things off the hook.” With help, Michael was placed in transitional housing and has now lived in his current place for three years. He has paid the rent and become the unspoken caretaker of the townhouse, running errands for tenants and generally checking up on each of them. Getting off the streets, however, is not an automatic ticket to normalcy and regained esteem. Navigating as a ‘settled citizen’ materialized with the same isolation and with the same stigma, mostly because he still looked homeless. A reoccurring scenario may shed light on his predicament. Knowing the diagnosis more fully, left him knowing what medication he needed in order to battle it. So, like any other citizen, he would go in to get his meds, and the glaring stigma would overwhelmingly prevent him from securing
WRITTEN BY KEVIN DOLAN | PHOTOS BY FRANK REBELO
the necessary prescription. He confesses, “I would get frustrated and upset, and I would stay away for a long while.” The isolation does not go away. Michael’s smile widens as he says, “Then I met Shelby, one year after getting off the street.” On the surface, Michael Benson and Shelby Chase could not possibly be any more different. That impression could not be more off base. For openers, they met while serving together as board members on the ACLU of Butte County. It took just a couple of meetings for the concern to grow in Shelby as she picked up on some symptoms. She also picked up on, “the absolute innocence about him.” She started driving him home from the meetings. Shelby revealed, “We hit it off right away,” as she found out he was “very open”. As time went by, he spoke about his lack of healthcare. That is when Shelby discovered his diagnosis, and further, discovered his homelessness. She started asking a million questions. Along with finding out about the prescriptions, she made a list of age appropriate tests. Immediately, it became clear, even with her help, the embedded stigma made all of it nearly impossible. In addition, even when she secured the medicine, it was an entirely different thing to get him to take them. She broke through the initial trust issues, and they both found out the meds helped. In order to earn his complete trust, Shelby played the one card she had, the fact that he served on, and volunteered for, numerous community causes. She told him, “If you want to be an activist, you have to be healthy.” Those causes included: reporter for Human Relations Network of Butte County, member of the Police Community Advisory Board, council on Greater Chico Homeless Task Force, while volunteering at both the Jesus Center and Torres Shelter. The card was well played as it garnered further trust between them and the
willingness to proceed. Next step was securing Shelby as his adult guardian with power of attorney. Still, his confidence just wasn’t there, that is, until he brought up his first name. He hated it. He was adamant about wanting to be known by his last name. He and Shelby took the necessary steps, jumped through the numerous hoops, and went to court. When the judge asked him what he wanted the change to be, the reply was “benson benson benson,” all lower case. The very moment the judge granted the name change, benson’s confidence emerged out of sight, thus paving the way to really get things done. With the newly registered name came a successful signing up for Medicare, ensuring the proper aid he had not received all those lost years. It also led to signing up for CalFresh. Of course, benson shops each week for food, goes home and cooks things up, and distributes the meals in the plaza on Sunday. Shelby did check off the list of tests revealing that he had a normal colonoscopy, was getting hearing aids, cataract surgery is being scheduled, along with necessary teeth extractions to be replaced with dentures. The warrior activist will continue with a renewed vigor. The story begs the question—do the other “bensons” of the world have a “Shelby?” In this case, the relationship is close, mutual, and also necessary. After all, Shelby is a caring adult, advocate, guardian, and a ‘mom’ with a huge heart. Benson, who clearly understands Maslow’s pyramid, and certainly knows about individual civil liberty, could very well still be Michael, the homeless person looking for the next warm and soft spot. The shame, disgrace, and scars left by blind stigma can mark a person for life. A caring person with a heart can obliterate the stigma, validating the target as a person and reconstructing confidence and self esteem. It also can get someone a new name with all lower case letters. 35
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A
mbivalence is a disagreeable and difficult emotional state. It is defined as
strong mixed feelings towards someone or something, at the same time. Take your hands and clench them into tight fists. Now push them together, knuckles against knuckles, and push in a relentless manner. As long as the fists stay together, you are realizing ambivalence. Those two feelings can clash without taking control. Once a single fist slips away, one of the mixed feelings has won. We all have ambivalence in our lives, ranging from chocolate to parents. So, it may seem foolish to bring homelessness into the world of strong, mixed feelings, at the same time. Strong, mixed feelings to be sure. At the same time? I can only hope so. Hope aside, perhaps it is time to bring critical consideration into our feature by introducing words like marginalization and prioritized. Again, it is ok to have strong, mixed feelings about this volatile subject, so long as your fists remain clenched together and your peripheral vision is heightened. 37
WRITTEN BY KEVIN DOLAN
I grew up in an idyllic Chico. Early on, houseless souls appeared as the romanticized hobos who carried the contents of their life tied up on the end of a pole, slung over one shoulder. We were left in awe as they hopped on the train, winding their way through the canyon, traveling to far off magical places. The random bums sprinkled about were more beloved than scorned. Their unfortunate nickname soon turned into a verb, “Can I bum a nickel off ya?” All in all, our comfortable community had little controversy until the freeway rammed its way through the middle of our park, and then I discovered the reality of controversy. Suddenly, Pioneer Days got too big and messy. It was at that moment I learned one answer to chaos was elimination. In turn, Halloween filled the business district in its own threatening fashion and was muffled. St. Patrick’s Day tried to take its place, and the Spring Break calendar became revised. The Labor Day river float also met its fate.
level. Homelessness exploded, stretching the limits in cities across the Golden State. In 1987, I came across an article hailing Santa Barbara’s successful campaign to do away with the meanest aspects of its "sleeping ordinances"—a set of foolish laws making it illegal for the homeless to sleep at night in public places. The article, written by Peter Marin, and titled Helping and Hating the Homeless, was an attempt on his part to explain at least some of the anger and fear, to clear up some of the confusion, and to chip away at the indifference. His title, and his 7,004 words, also cut deeply into achieving true ambivalence over what he states as “the consequences of that strange combination of proximity and distance.”
a burdensome dilemma. So, with further examination, let’s start by understanding the necessity to stop the use of the pronoun ‘they’ when speaking of our houseless. The all inclusive nature of the term belies the complex phenomenon that is the Chico houseless. It is also the initial step in marginalizing by clumping the entire population into a single four-letter word. The range of houselessness is wide and takes us back to those words marginalization and prioritized. Within this scope, you will find houseless folk who are either chronic, episodic, transitional, or hidden—and you will find criminals. The breakdown looks something like this:
The lingering difference between
Houseless - A broad umbrella term that encompasses all those terms that follow and perhaps any individuals that do not quite fit any of those terms.
marginalization and prioritized,
Each summer, I traveled to Santa Barbara to work at a basketball school. At first, it was for a single week, then two, and finally turned into three weeks each summer. As a result, I discovered more and more about this stunning vacation destination. Besides the beauty, the beaches, the nightlife, and the weather, I also was introduced to the word homelessness. Turns out, in the early 80’s, Santa Barbara’s homeless population ranked among the largest in California. I distinctly remember understanding this as, to me, Santa Barbara carried three critical factors: weather, wealth, and willingness. These hapless souls lined the grassy areas of the beach and stowed away in out-of-the-way places on State Street. One weekend morning, on a coffee drive, I discovered what was known as the “Homeless Tree,” a Moreton Bay Fig from Australia, claimed to be America’s largest living Ficus. It was gigantic, claiming to house 1,000 homeless gathering together under its broad canopy each evening as the sun began to set. During all of this, our president, at the time, signed a bill to replace funding for community mental health services, diverting it to the state 38
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and how they can equally disparage a community of people, is staggering.
The subject of homelessness remains a complex phenomenon. Currently, Chico is not unlike many of its fellow towns and cities. Prosperity materializes along with the growth of household income, coupled with the rising cost of housing and increased rental rates. Homelessness sprouts due to these circumstances, as well as numerous other causes, including mental illness and drug addiction. Small wonder any community would struggle with the notion of ambivalence and lean heavily towards one side. I recently read a beautifully written letter to the editor of our local newspaper. The writer, in true melancholy fashion, applauded the recent tent villages along the loop of Pine and Cypress. The letter positions itself in stark contrast to the billboard adorning the Esplanade, stating, “Our City is Under Siege.” Neither quite portrays a community demonstrating true ambivalence about
Homeless - Consisting of the chronic and episodic, where both drug abuse and mental health can either be the original cause or the consequence of houselessness. Each has differing stories to relay. Chronic, simply, describes those houseless who have been on the streets for a year or more, including our veterans, and yes, including VietNam vets. Episodic comes with familiar stories of spousal abuse, loss of job, increase to monthly rent payments, and the recurring story of an individual suffering from an injury requiring opioids for the pain. All of these episodes keep happening, making for single mothers, mentally ill individuals unable to keep a job, and the poor souls who have become addicted to opioids having to rely on synthetic drugs flooding the streets. Hidden Homeless - Consists mostly of our young adults and can even drop down to the teens. It includes youth who have aged out of the Foster Care system and students who have lost the funding to keep up with rent. Students often have the opportunity to ‘couch surf’ during the weekends and only find themselves sleeping in their cars during the school week. Pandemic aside, students also have the advantage of having the student workout facility to take showers. Unlike the hapless youth no
longer in Foster Care, the students have access to food, clothing, and personal necessities. Transients - Consisting of transitional houseless in between their next stop, or are making their way through agriculture jobs. Locally, transients are known for not being rule followers. As our shelters and places set up to feed the homeless come with rules, the transients refuse to follow them, leaving the transient population to rely solely on the street. Also included in this group are young locals, with homes, who choose to “run the streets” with these rule breakers. The Criminal Twist - Any time poverty exists to this degree, a criminal component emerges as it becomes easy to fit in without undue notice and prey on the hapless, looking for, and needing, drugs. It also includes the added benefit of openly exhibiting criminal behavior with an entire population to blame. Not only do we prioritize our resources for the criminal element, but we also prioritize our feelings and biases towards the larger group of houseless based on their behaviors. NOTE: this category does not constitute the use of the word ‘vagrancy’ as it is meant to conjure up the wanderer, floater, rolling stone, and individuals without a permanent home or means of support.
Hate and fear far
receives the prioritizing. Not only do we prioritize our resources for the criminal element, but we also prioritize our feelings and biases towards the larger group of houseless based on their behaviors. Local law enforcement have these criminals in their crosshairs, and, treating them like a homeless person, strap an ankle monitor on them in order to track their whereabouts. Removing them from the streets for any one of their despicable acts would prove an overall beneficial move for the community at large. These are criminals, who commit crimes far worse than the down-on-their luck jail inmate who had a ‘baggie with intent to sell’ and was given 12 years. Serious offenders could replace the lesser, taking the actual criminal off the street, returning a grateful member of society to their home, and lessening the stress, fear, and following of a homeless community. Perhaps, this is not as simple as it sounds. Though, this solution could also change everything and potentially satisfy all parties. The lingering difference between marginalization and prioritized, and how they can equally disparage a community of people, is staggering. Do not take my cynicism as naivety. I, too, have strong, mixed feelings about this subject matter. I have experienced fear and changed some of my walking routes as a result. I also possess a humble and compassionate heart. Peter Marin ultimately asked, “Do we owe anything to these men and women, who reject our company and what we offer and yet nonetheless seem to demand something from us?”
outweigh any humble and
compassionate hearts. Odd,
then, to think it is the criminal aspect of our streets who receives the prioritizing.
To be certain, the Chico homeless are marginalized. The entire population has been pushed to the edge of its own group and accorded lesser importance. Hate and fear far outweigh any humble and compassionate hearts. Odd, then, to think it is the criminal aspect of our streets who
‘Owe’ is the kind of word that gets you in trouble. Whether the homeless have chosen to be houseless or houselessness was thrust upon them, I believe we can afford them dignity and allow them to be acknowledged as people of the same kindred beings. My compassion prevents me from understanding how bathrooms are prohibited for an entire population who face doing everyday things in public places. My heart laments over a solution. If this is viewed as my obligation,
THE POWER OF SOIL You can feel the energy and enthusiasm radiating from Ali McMorrow, the “garden keeper” of the Jesus Center Farm, the moment she begins to speak. “Food connects us all,” she says. “It doesn’t matter if you’re rich or poor—you can be a client of the Jesus Center, or you can be a wealthy volunteer who comes in to help on the farm.” Her t-shirt proclaims the connection: “Local Food is Homeland Security.” The Jesus Center Farm, part of a larger Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) group, donates food to local service organizations and also helps feed the Jesus Center clientele. Every meal served at the center incorporates some of the bounty from the farm. Volunteer workers from the center also work the garden as interns, ready to learn a new skill, find a purpose, and gain selfconfidence and dignity while finding a pathway to employment. It isn’t just people from the center who come out; anyone willing to put in some hours under the hot sun for the good of others is welcome. Local Boy Scouts visited recently and helped perform some needed improvements, while students in the CSU Chico Agriculture Program— where Ali earned her degree— came out and planted ground cover. Interesting to note, no machinery is used on the farm. It runs on 100% “Ali power.” The farm is located on land generously provided by the Growden family. If you would like to volunteer, please contact the center for more information. You can also become a member of the CSA by registering online and becoming a donor. For more information, contact the center at 530-345-2640 or email csa@jesuscenter.org.
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it is pragmatic and observational. The hard truth is there is no real end to houselessness. I have heard the word ‘eradicate’ bouncing around, even as a solution. In order to end houselessness, we must expand greatly our thinking and realize we must eradicate poverty and unemployment in order to eradicate houselessness. Even then, there will remain individuals who will choose to remain houseless.
BLOOMIN' HOPE If you happen to walk by 4th and Main Street on a beautiful day during the work week and spot an inviting flower cart filled with blooms of riotous colors, you’ve stumbled onto a beacon of hope for the Jesus Center Community. The same cart can be seen on Saturdays at the Chico Certified Farmers Market. The Bloomin’ Hope Flower Cart began in April of 2013 with a generous donation from the Soroptimist Club of Chico. Shelly Watson, director of services at the Jesus Center, developed the idea to offer women in their shelter and transitional housing program a hand up. The cart gives them a sense of purpose, along with valuable work experience to aid in getting them back on their feet. The benefits this program offers are multifaceted. It allows the Jesus Center community to give back, and feel a sense of belonging and meaningful intent. For the workers involved, the arranging of flowers into bouquets and gifts utilizes the well-known process of creative therapy to help express thoughts and feelings beyond words. Finally, the Bloomin’ Hope cart enables women from the Sabbath House and House of Hope to learn a vocation, along with a variety of skills, to serve them as they continue on their journey to independence. The simple gift this cart has given to so many can be summed up by a guest of the Jesus Center, “You feel good when you create something, when you have something, it gives me an inspiration to do something, and it gives me happy thoughts.” So the next time you see this cart with its brightly colored blooms and smiling attendants, stop and pick up a bouquet and spread hope throughout the community. 40
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In the meantime, what works? I came across numerous ideas from ‘aggressive landscaping’ to paying the houseless $15 per hour to clean up and landscape. The following were the most intriguing to me. Rapid Rehousing—the ability to take the houseless who immediately qualify for housing into either temporary or permanent housing right away. Currently, Chico has—under construction or recently completed— well over 1,200 apartments—high quality apartments. I feel like this leaves existing apartment complexes, with years on them, as perfect targets for this ‘rapid rehousing’ program. Keeping the houseless off the street before they ever get there. Brilliant.
by the local shelters, behavioral health facilities, and quite frankly, the community itself, clearing the way to a match with a community member gives it a better chance to work. No need to bring them home. Merely reach out, establish a relationship, and see what happens. Of course, there are simple, everyday things each of us could adopt which would make a huge difference: Respect the houseless as individuals and respond to them with kindness. Donate food, clothing, and money to assist each shelter to thrive. While you are at it, volunteer. There are lots of ways to do this. Finally, advocate for what works, for what is needed, and for changing our vocabulary and discourse. Ambivalence allows for strong, mixed feelings at the same time. Helping and hating the homeless is our current reality. Does this lead to eradication? Unfortunately, I have witnessed a model of this growing up here. The city of Santa Barbara has celebrated Old Spanish Days the first week of August since 1924. Known as “Fiesta” to locals, the event has grown each and every year. U.C. Santa Barbara, a well known party school, has been there since before the Fiesta began. It has taken ‘creative control’ each year to manage the ever-growing, and often-rowdy, crowds, not elimination. Clench the fists, push them together, just don’t let your head get too far away from your heart.
Advocate for what works, for what is needed, and for changing our vocabulary and discourse.
In dotted cities across the land, tiny house villages, with wrap-around-services, have proven highly successful. The services include mental health assistance, drug and alcohol counseling, and job training, all while offering general inclusion. Butte County appears to be successfully on the way to making this happen. More than once, I have heard the most intriguing question of all in relation to this complex phenomenon. The concept of answering the call to action by answering this question—what if you only had one? Success has been found in the matching of a home with an extra bed and an LGBTQ youth who was left on the street. This may come across as extreme. However, our houseless population is well known
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Liquor Toolbox In August, I explored most of what I felt were the must haves in your barware toolbox. Like any craft, there’s a plethora of fancy specialty devices you can own. Sure they look great, but you first must identify their purpose. Also, don’t immediately be lured in with gift sets and combos, as you might prefer one tool design over another. Also, keep in mind you most likely will inherit yet another item stuffed into the “miscellaneous” drawer of your kitchen. Here’s a look at the more intermediate bar utensils. Muddle sticks are a commonly found tool in which the cocktails are using mint or fresh fruit. Absolutely a must if you love Mojitos, Mint Juleps or Caipirinha, or if you like the presentation of muddling your own sugar cube to make simple syrup. I would recommend a flat head rather than a rigid one so you don't have to dig mint particles out of the teeth. Muddling berries or softer stone fruits are also common. Otherwise, most other popular reasons for owning a muddler are cast aside due to being dated like the cherry and orange into an Old Fashioned in the 1980’s-early 2000’s. You can however, simply achieve a similar result by waiting for the flavors to infuse. A mixing glass is another great item but with very limited purpose. I, for one, have never owned one but if I were entertaining and showing a drink for presentation, the fancy edged cuts in a crystal looking mixing glass 42
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PA R T 2
are second to none. The single purpose of this is to stir, not shake, which controls the dilution while maintaining texture. Since many cocktails simply must be stirred, the mixing glass may be right for your bar. You cannot have a fancy mixing glass with your least favorite spoon from your drawer in it. If you decided on one luxury, you must concurrently own another, the bar spoon. The bar spoon is a 12” or longer spoon, often with a spiral shaft allowing for a sommother stirring process and a length that will fit into most anything you use to mix into. It’s also beneficial for adding a small amount of liquid since the “spoon” only has gold under a ¼ ounce, and is great for layering when poured over the back of the spoon. Things like citrus planers and graters are OK if you commonly use lemon twists or chocolate and fresh nutmeg. They just need their time and place less than the other tools above. On the other hand, long surgical tweezers for precise and garnish placement and liquid droppers for finer essences are really for the most advanced cocktail crafters. What’s most important is to look at the drinks you’re most interested in creating, and find the right tools to construct them. Until next month, Cheers!
COCKTAIL ADVICE
VIA
JASON CORONA
For more cocktail tips, give Jason a call at 530.591.2634.
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Balaphone, which is like a xylophone but made out of wood and gourds. Do yourself a favor and look it up. This specialized piece can’t be made in the U.S. He also plays a variety of African Gourd Shekeres and the pandeiro, a Brasilian hand drum. One set of his drums, the conga and tumba, were made in Canada by a master drum maker who used Central American mahogany, which is nearly impossible to obtain due to over-harvesting of these trees.
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Michael Tonetti’s passion is healing people. He does this two ways: through his vocation as a massage therapist and as a drummer on percussion instruments from around the world. The common element in each is his hands. You could say Tonetti possesses “healing hands.” He heals with his massage, body mechanics, and teaching; and he heals through his music. The junior high Drum and Bugle Corps, in his home state of Pennsylvania, is where Tonetti first played the drums. Later in life, he came to music as a dancer. He wanted to learn more about the deeper rhythm of music, and what better way than drumming? He has now been playing for over 30 years. When most people think of drumming, they envision a guy with two sticks sitting behind a drum kit. While Tonetti does use sticks on certain types of drums, his primary method is using his hands. The wide range of drums he plays is phenomenal—congas, box drum, bongos, Irish bodhran, square box drum, cajon, and others. He also plays the Guinea
The roots of drumming originate in Africa, and Tonetti has been influenced by the African rhythm and beat. Other influences are Cuban and South American, especially samba, and samba parade music, which is exactly what it says. Tonetti has played in many drumming bands including Wolfthump, Honor Africa, and Ayana. His drums have taken him to play at High Sierra World Fest, Chico World Fest, many fire walking ceremonies, and other locales. One of his favorites is playing in the puppet shows at the local Endangered Species Fair. Tonetti says, “My aim in music is to support the other musicians and achieve a transcendence through music.” Not only has Tonetti achieved musical transcendence, he has also achieved a transcendence over gravity. Through his development of The Tonetti Method, Michael has helped thousands of people to achieve better posture, walk correctly, move better, and avoid surgery. He is so fine-tuned to people’s posture, he can literally look at someone and tell where they have pain and inflexibility. He has been working on people for 40 years using a variety of techniques: Swedish, Asian, and Rolfing, to name a few. Over his many years of practice, Tonetti has perfected his own approach, and the people who adhere to it—it takes practice and willpower— lead better lives physically. As he says, “Nature gave us all the bones and muscles necessary to stack them properly and fight gravity.” Michael Tonetti has combined two different worlds where healing is apparent, in music and massage, and done so through the magic of his mind and hands. Listen to the music, keep dancing, and above all, keep moving.
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2 20 Looking Through A Cracked Rearview Mirror
I remember the email regarding whether or not I could fit another student on my roster. I was taken by the fact this senior was having difficulty managing an eight-period day. My roster showed I was close to 40 students. Nevertheless, I set up an appointment to meet her. I knew there would be no assessment when Maria made her way up the ramp with her grandmother. She was ready to sign up. So, what do you do? I pulled out the paperwork and filled it out so Maria and her grandmother could sign. They left with multiple, “thank yous” and a 9:00 A.M. Monday appointment to get Maria started as an independent study student.
On Monday morning, I glanced at my computer screen: 9:00 am Maria. 9:15 came and went, so did 9:30, 9:45, and then 10:00, when my next student arrived for his appointment, work in hand. I glanced back at my screen and shook my head. After my appointment, I opened Maria’s folder and called her grandmother. On the first ring, it went straight to voicemail. The message noted the box was full. My Monday came and went, as did my Tuesday. On Wednesday morning, I thought about calling again but let the thought slide away. I didn’t have an appointment that afternoon and planned to put together some new lessons. About 1:40 P.M., someone was light stepping it up the ramp, and Maria appeared with an oversized purse slung over one shoulder. She found her way to the bookcase, perusing the titles. She turned away and sat at one of the computers, putting in her ID number and briefly searched. I could not help but think, I’m watching Fauna, the fairy godmother from “Sleeping Beauty.” Fauna is known for being sweet and optimistic, naive and absent-minded, and “a bit flighty.” She is also the most sensitive. It’s hard to explain how, like Fauna, her shoulders moved in one piece and, like this character, Maria didn’t ‘walk’ anywhere, more like a hovering amble. Her half smile turned her eyes into narrow slits. As I caught myself watching, I realized she had not spoken. I opened my hand, gestured to the open chair, and Maria took a seat. Monday never came up. I pulled her transcripts out of the file and went over credit by credit for her path to graduation. It wasn’t going to be easy but not daunting. I explained to Maria this was not going to be about worksheets and rote answers. The way to maximize credit recovery was through in-depth work going across the curriculum. Insert an art component to a science lesson and you receive credit for both. When she flashed her half smile, it appeared to widen, and her eyes were not turned into slits. We started with writing poetry, form
poems based on things not understood and a range of moods. I felt like this would give me insights to Maria and how I could better help her. We are also going to read Sandra Cisnero’s House on Mango Street together. The novel, containing 33 chapters, allowed for many of them to be read aloud, and that was just what I planned on doing. Government and economics would have to wait. Before she left, I brought up the need for appointments. Maria did not flinch. She asked if she could come and go, stay to use the computers, and get help. Appointments never came up again. I found Maria to be a discerning reader, flawlessly fluent writer, and both inquisitive and guarded. House on Mango Street had a huge impact on her as I figured, but in those chapters regarding highly sensitive topics, her chin often dropped to her chest. I looked forward to her light stepping up the ramp, flinging her oversized purse under “her” table as she prepared to get to work. The main campus had breakfast, lunch, and snack times, and I would walk her to the cafeteria when she requested, which was often. I can’t say I had major breakthroughs, with one exception. I told her she was at college level and asked if she saw herself moving on. Her head shook side to side with a flair of enthusiasm. The campus came with a remarkable support staff, especially the case worker who specialized in students like Maria wanting to go to college. It was here I learned Maria had been homeless this entire time. I now know she was one of our ‘hidden homeless.’ Sometimes it is possible to marvel at your own naivety. Remarkably, Maria’s path to graduation led also to her admittance to college, with enough grants to make it happen. I retired from teaching at the same time Maria moved on to a higher education. Two years later, December 7th. I remember opening the online ER to the headline of an innocent pedestrian struck by a hit and run DUI driver. I clicked on it out of curiosity. 1:30 A.M., three friends walking on the sidewalk on Nord Avenue toward their apartment. Maria was the sole pedestrian struck by the car racing down that sidewalk. To this day, I can't absorb the tragic nature of this unnecessary death. I can only wish Maria could have had Fauna’s magic wand. I will leave you with this. As we read House on Mango Street together, we collected our favorite, our most meaningful lines. The last line on Maria’s list - “Only a house quiet as snow, a space for myself to go, clean as paper before the poem.”
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