Urban Image Magazine Valentine’s Day 2014 Issue
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A Letter from Our Editor Dear Readers, Once again, welcome to Urban Image Magazine! We are excited to kick 2014 off with our Valentine's day issue and our new website. We hope you find our new format easy to view and navigate. One of the kinks we worked on was the way our site is displayed on various devices. Our analytics told us that we weren't too iPhone friendly, now we are. Now check it out. We are "the people's magazine" and I am totally confused. We are set up, designed and here for YOU. As I've said in previous issues, we are going to shape our content around the feedback from our readers... (crickets and loud silence) Uhhh, we're not hearing anything...you guys have been very quiet. But we know you're there. Our readership is still growing and ya'll spend an average of 5 minutes on the site... But, no comments. Holla at us, let us know what you like and what you don't like. Our doors are open, take advantage of it. Aren't you tired of magazines that never post your comments? Aren't you tired of writing letters to the editors who never respond? We're here for you. Help us serve you better. On our new site we will have a new live wire chat where you can chat live on our website. You can either discuss our current topics or leave comments about our blogs, articles, our site or anything that's on your mind.
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For all of you entertainers, all of you; musicians, writers, comedians, aspiring actors, filmmakers and etcetera, you do understand that this is your place to shine, right? Let me tell you how Urban Image Magazine got started real quick. I am a GangstaLit author under the pseudonym Daddy Rich. I contacted all of the major magazines in search of ad space and exposure. But, I got my little feelings hurt when I was told that I could get a full page ad for $7,500- $10,000. And, none of the editors seemed interested in a story about an ex-drug dealer starting his own publishing company from prison in an attempt to overturn his wrongful conviction and turn his life around. Nobody cares. So, I started my own Magazine, from prison. I did however get one interview with a major media outlet who wasn't at all interested in my road to redemption. They were only interests in how many people I shot at and how much money I made on a daily basis. Honestly, I got offended and ended the interview. I will not be exploited and I still got things pending, are you serious? But anyway, this magazine is for ya'll who have talent but no place to shine. All of you independents that grind hard and long hours in the studio with no recognition. We want to give you the attention you deserve. I know there's one of you out there who has a dream of being a talk show host, recording segments in your living room. We want to have a conversation with you. All of you aspiring filmmakers who have shot the next generation of Belly, Boyz in tha Hood and The Best Man. We want to talk to you. That's why I am so glad and thankful to have Aaron Wiggins and Morgan McCoy on the cover of this months issue. They embody what Urban Image
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Magazine is all about; showcasing rising stars as they shoot to the top. Everybody wants to interview you once you make it to the silver screen, major networks, or sign a nationwide recording contract. But Urban Image wants to help you build your career. We want to ride with you and put a little air in your tires when you catch a flat. Again, we are "the people's magazine" and together we can make it. Get at us at: info@urbanimagemagazine.com. Peace and Love,
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e h t m o r f t s a c e h t g ” t n i r r a u e t a e H e F h T “ s e i r e s new What’s Inside Letter from the Editor-4 Meet Our Staff-12 Ask Emiaj-18 Naptural’s 85: Whipped Shae Butter-22 7 things That Can Change The Way She Feels…-26 Self-Love-32 Candy Crush Saga or Crack Crush Society-37 The Side Chick-46
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What’s Inside
UIM Celebrates Black History Month-52 UIM’s 25 Lil Known Black History Facts-54 Olympic Fiasco-60 What’s Going On?-66 Authors Corner featuring Perri Forest-70 Review by E. AhDai of “A Lioness Tale” -74 UIM friends and Fam Speak their Minds Forum-79 The Heart –84 Poetic Justice Joint-99 The Worst Music Review-108 Comedy Corner-111 UIM’s What’s da Word Mixup-114 Deszion’s Star Design-117 The Urban Alter-122 Sexual Expressions-126 Independence: Submission & Subordination-129 Empathy-133 Love , Sex & Relationships with Sexy Saphire-137 Real Sex Talk with D Queen-140 From Behind the Fence-146 What’s Love-154 9
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Our contributors:
Publisher: Ă„r s
Media Group
CEO & Editor-in-Chief: Richarh Aswanu President: Denetra Key Vice President: Internet, Web Design & Technical Support: Jeff McCollum Vice President & Editorial: E. AhDai Assistant Vice President: Taylor Danes CFO: Richard Tyson & Damika Smith 10
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Marketing /Social Media: Nhea Duncan & Shuntez Darden Senior Writers: E. AhDai, Deszion Nasir, E.N.Joy Kimberley Jasper, , Comedian Marc Howard, Angela Williams, Patrice Rivers, AJ Whitsett Contributors: Fidel M. Love, Larrod Evans, Sexy Saphire Magazine Layout Design: Denetra Key Cover Design: Nhea Duncan
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Meet Our Staff
My name is Richarh Aswanu AKA Daddy Rich. I am the CEO and founder here at Urban Image Magazine and GangstatLit. Writing is not a phase in my life, it defines who I am. I’m a man on a mission. I want my freedom! This is why I write! I have been locked down for 8 years but have published 3 books thus far. I have my own style that separates me from other authors. I created Urban Image to serve as a publication you can be proud of. It is our aim to dissolve the negative stereotypes associated with the “Urban Community”. We will inform, educate, entertain and inspire our readers. In addition to providing you with thought provoking content, Urban Image Magazine will showcase talents who haven’t had the opportunity to reach mainstream media outlets. Urban Image Magazine was founded as a life changing movement for all that are involved in our mission. We are a stage for those without a platform to have a spotlight. Published to be accessible online, this magazine is designed to serve as a catalyst to success, a place where you can network with like-minded people who are in pursuit of their dreams. 12
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Hello, my name is Denetra “Queen GangstaLit” Key better known as D Queen or Boss Ladii. I am the president here at Urban Image. I am a mother of three and also a 15 year nurse by profession. I also am our magazine layout designer… so I hope you enjoy my art. There are some topics that arise in life that strike a cord with me and I will write on those issues. My articles and blogs are to shed light on issues that are dear to my heart! I apologize in advance if I offend. But my pieces are based on my opinion. Our opinions reflect that we are individual children of God. One promise I can make is that I will report on the topics of my choice in as accurate fashion as I can. I welcome you to leave your comments good or bad in regards to my work. I actually appreciate it! Your views give me insight. Thank you for visiting our page. While your here please take the time to browse around and look at our past magazines and blogs. Thanks again and God Bless!
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EmiajAhdai is from Greensboro, North Carolina. She is our Fashion and Arts Blogger, our Managing Editor and recently promoted to Vice President. She is currently working on her first novel, and is a contributor to LAID: Young People’s Experiences with sex in an easy access culture. She brings us a unique look on love and relationships through her Single and Ready to Mingle blog and her column Ask Emiaj. This little woman wears a lot of hats but she has a big heart. You would never believer that she started out just blogging with us in her spare time. She believes in hard work and dedication will pay off in the end. Look for her name among the stars. KIMBERLEY R. JASPER was raised in Jamaica Queens, New York and still describes herself as a true New Yorker through and through despite currently residing in Humble, Texas with her family.
After self-
publishing her first novel, she 14
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Deszion Amani Nasir was born in raised in Hampton, VA, where she penned her first novel in the 6th grade when her simple ideas were read by others and she was told "Wow... this is good. You should be a writer." The light bulb clicked on and never turned off. In 2012 Nasir debuted her first novel, "Untrust," the strange tale of an unusual set of twins with no family, yet more family drama than one’s ever deem possible. Then she released, "Dragonflies & Demons," part one of a short series about a couple stuck in a vicious cycle of domestic violence that blurs the lines between victim and abuser. After that, the follow-up of "Untrust" entitled "Wicked Blues," dropped in November. She is currently writing her first paranormal/sci-fi novel, "Sariah," which is due to be released in the Spring. This excitingly eerie novel will come out in the Spring. Nasir is currently in the works to drop an Anthology with two other authors that will be released in June. The next installment to her series, Uncommon Devil, will be released in the Fall. is now fulfilling her purpose and passion as a writer.
From horror fic-
tion with a mystical twist to erotic thrillers, this author can do it all with well-seasoned finesse.
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Comedian Marc Howard has preformed stand up comedy for over 20 years. Originally started in his home town of Washington DC, and won a big competition in the area Coors Light Super Talent Showcase in his 1st 2 years. He later moved to New York City to test his talents and grow as a comic, he performed at the Apollo, and the variety show Uptown Comedy Club in Harlem as well. A year later Marc took his talents to the Pacific and moved to Los Angeles in 93. Since then he's been a veteran of BET's Comic View, HBO Def Comedy Jam, & Comedy Spot on TVOne. Been seen on Martin, in feature film Tears Of A Clown starring Don DC Curry. Marc has also done voice over work on a the It's Your World that was featured for years on Tom Joyner Morning Show. He has performed across the globe doing comedy clubs, colleges, and theaters. He has performed for our military local and abroad. Areas such as Kosovo, Iraq, and Afganistan. Now he's adding writing to his resume, along with stage plays, and commercial work.
Angela Williams is just now beginning to explore the possibilities opened to her. She is an avid reader who sometimes lets her imagination run wild. A lover of animals she shares living space with two dogs and a cantankerous cat. No stranger to being told what can’t be done she tries to empower those around her. She believes that you’re never late for your dream, you always arrive right on time. At the present time she is residing in Chesapeake, VA and working on a book of poetry. 16
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Patrice “Lyrical Passion” Rivers started her writing career at an early age of nine. With her vivid imagination, she started writing short fiction stories, then as years passed, her love for poetry took a full effect at the age of fifteen. Writing has always been a part of Lyrical Passion and believed that it was a gift from God. To seal the real deal, she published her first book, “A Collection of God’s Word and Motivation” in May 2012. As Lyrical continues her passion of writing poetry and stories, she hopes to succeed in what she does as an author, poet and blogger. Her second book “Lyrical Passion Tears from my Inkwell” will be published October 2013. You can find her poetry on www.facebook.com/AuthorNicoleP.Rivers Hello my name is Azaveran J Whitsett or more commonly known as AJ I graduated from James Dudley High School in Greensboro, NC in 1999 and immediately joined the Army. While in the military I was stationed in LA, GA, and Korea. I was also stationed in Kuwait and I am a 2 time Operation Iraqi Freedom Veteran. I served a total of 12 years in the US Army between active duty and National Guard. I am currently in school for I.T. and Networking Technology and also working on starting my own business in the restaurant industry. I have 5 kids ranging from 11 to 5 and yes there are some twins in there. In my spare time I like to spend time with the kids, anything that has to do with music especially live music, and I love to bowl. 17
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Dear Emiaj, Ok first I must say, I read your column every month and I can truly say that I value your opinion. Girl I done got myself into a mess. So I met this guy that is a baby to me. Brother is five years younger than me and looks every bit of it. I think that was one of the biggest of my initial attractions to him. Well this fine young brother has turned my ass out. I think I'm in love. Well if not I'm definitely in lust. My problem is that I'm embarrassed to be seen out with this PYT. I mean I look like his older sister or his aunt or something and this young guy is coming on strong. He wants to date and go to church and everything else. I'd rather keep it in the bedroom if you know what I mean. What would my friends and family think? What about my kids they are only a couple years younger than them. Well ok maybe I'm over reacting but you know what I mean. How do I let him know without pissing him off and running him away? “Loving that Youngin�
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Dear Loving that Youngin, I thank you so much for the love. You do not know how much I appreciate it. I do this for my readers. You know I am going to keep it all the way real with you. Why are you embarrassed by this young man? You obviously love being around him and under him. Five years younger than you in not that bad. He obviously likes being around you. You are more worried about what other people will think, I will be the first to say; forget what other people think. They are not in your relationship only you are. Now if you don’t want to continue the relationship then I suggest you let him know and not lead him on. If he gets mad, let him. The thing about people is this they always have two options. They can either accept it or not accept it. He can’t say that you lied or played with his heart. Since you read my work you know I am firm believer in being honest with your mate. If it is not working then let it go. What is funny I was just talking to some of my girlfriends about how ones family always has something to say about the relationship they are in. If we worried about what our family thought about every person we dated none of us would ever be in a relationship. The person you are in the relationship with is who you chose. Don’t be ashamed of him he is not ashamed of you. You have a little soul searching to do. I hope things work out for you Emiaj
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Hello Emiaj,
single mother but I've tried my best to raise my children and for her to treat me like this breaks my soul. I really have no idea at this point what to do. I even got her arrested after the last fight we had thinking that it would give me a leg up because at least she'd be forced to stay home and I'd have some back up but it's just worst when she is home because then I actually have to deal with her attitude and rudeness. I need your help!
I have a serious issue that I don't know how to address. I don't know what to do with my 16 year old daughter. She is out of control. She is totally disrespectful. It is like she hates my guts. She is failing school. Sleeping with grown men almost my age and pretty much doing anything she is big and bad enough to do. I've grounded her, stripped her naked of everything and nothing has worked. It has even come to blows between us. She is not “Weeping Momma” at all intimidated by me. I know I've made some mistakes in the past as a
Dear Weeping Momma,
reason why all of a sudden she is acting
My heart goes out to you because I out like this. Sometimes having a third am not sure how I would feel if I felt like party there may help. my daughter hated me. As a single
Teenagers go through changes just like
mother we are already in this category of anyone else. I was once told the night some type of struggle. We don’t have to that teenage girls turn sixteen; something stay there or deal with the craziness of
clicks and they start acting different.
our kids. Since being scared straight has- Mom and dad know nothing and they n’t helped I suggest that you seek family know it all. After sixteen has passed they counseling. There may be an underline 20
are back to normal. I am not telling you
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to wait for her to change back. I want
dren. I would put a stop to that act.
you to realize that your child is still in
Where is her father, uncles and cousins?
there and that something has happened Why is this grown man able to have sex to make her change.
with her?
The topic of her sleeping and hav- My suggestion stands, seek a family ing sex with grown men bother me. I
counselor to help out with this. I would
don’t know what state you are in but I
love to hear back from you .
am sure there is a law against grown
Emiaj
men having sex with teenagers. As a parent it is our job to protect our chil21
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NAPTURAL 85's WHIPPED SHEA BUTTER By: Deszion Nasir
For all my natural sisters out there, there are a lot of things out there advertised for our beautiful locks, but if you haven't heard of Naptural85, you've been wasting a lot of money and cheating your hair out of a LOT of heavenly treatment. One of my staples is her whipped shea butter, and I'm going to give you the step by step on how to do it.
You'll need: Deep glass bowl Unrefined shea butter at room temperature (I got mine from a little African shop at the flea market, $5. Don't pay $10 in the Asian store for the little tubs) Cocoanut oil (room temp, but not melted) Olive oil Jojoba oil (you can get it at a health food store, but it's becoming more available) Castor oil Vitamin E Hand Mixer Empty containers w/ lids Knife and spoon
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Place shea butter in bowl. This amount should fit in a 16oz. container. Add your oils. Measuring is up to you, but try to make sure it's going to compliment, not over or under power your shea butter. I usually use in between a teaspoon to a tablespoon, depending on the seasons.
Next, get your hand mixer out and start mixing! If you forgot to have your shea butter at room temp, this is going to take a while, lol.
Now we're getting somewhere! Just as an option, at this point, if you want to give some away, you can scoop some in a plastic bag, cut the tip, and squeeze your butter into containers like frosting so it's all neat and pretty, but you could just scoop it into a container if you want to keep it. I'm showing you how to make whipped butter, which is fluffier, sooooo we're gonna keep going, kay? This IS an option for a last minute, low cost gift, though! For the fluffy, silky smooth butter, the container should be half full of room temp/slightly warm NOT MELTED cocoanut oil ( I use a little less sometimes) Add ½ teaspoon castor oil (I use lil more lol) Add 1 tsp olive oil Add 1 tsp jojoba oil Add a big dollop of the shea butter you've already made and start to mix
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Once all the oils come together it'll become a nice, smooth blend. note: If while you're mixing, if you lift your knife & you don't see a smooth trail and it looks liquid-y, add some more shea butter
Give it a shot! Works for my hair!
AND IT'S SURELY WORKING FOR NAPTURAL85!
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This stuff is good for daily moisturizing, twisting, styling, ect. It's great on delicate children's hair and has no chemicals in it!
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SEVEN THINGS THAT CAN CHANGE THE WAY SHE FEELS ABOUT YOU BY: Kimberley Jasper
The first few dates may have been phenomenal. The first six months might have felt effortless until some random moment when you suddenly lose the connection. There are little things that can be major game changers for a woman. Women are always thinking in terms of the future and there are things that a man can unwittingly do that effect how she sees you in it. Here are 7 things that tell a woman more about you, and can sometimes send the wrong message.
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1.INSECURITY You can be a little weird at times. Maybe even have a few bizarre habits. So what? That doesn’t matter to her as much as you think it does. The problem occurs when you become insecure about the very quirkiness that may have attracted her to you in the first place. The attraction is not it the quirkiness itself, but in your confidence about it and nothing is sexier on a man than confidence. If a woman senses that you are not comfortable with who you are, it’s a bit of a turn off. All of a sudden she is responsible for dishing out unnecessary compliments and it can be daunting. If you are secure in who you are, she will follow suit. 2.KNOWING TOO MUCH ABOUT YOUR EX We’ve all dated people that we are now embarrassed by. Someone super clingy who wrote us 100 love letters or one who is notorious for being a crazy bitch or “mitch” in some cases. Someone who looked good in theory, but didn’t quite keep it together long enough to paint an accurate picture of what the hell you were thinking at the time. Your woman need not know all the odd details of your ex. She will judge you even though she’s surely dated some oddballs in her day. It may even cause her to question your taste and sensibility. Some exes just need to stay where they belong…in the past.
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3.YOUR FAMILY Disclaimers are allowed and sometimes necessary when it comes to family. Before you bring your woman around your parents or family members, analyze how you tend to act around them. We all get a little nuts around our family and it can be completely disconnected from who we are every day, but your woman may not quite see it that way. If you are totally out of character around your family, take that into consideration before introducing her. You family can change your woman’s opinion of you and this can be a good or bad thing, depending on your family. 4.CLEANING HAB-
ITS Bringing a woman back to your pristinely clean or hit by a hurricane home gives her great insight about you. She may appreciate the honesty if your place is a little messy and she can accurately assess what it will be like with you going forward. If she finds it neat and tidy, you immediately receive points and a gold star. The problem arises when the two of you become serious and those habits change. Your sudden aversion to cleaning may give her the indication that you now expect her to pick up after you. It is an assumption that may leave you lonely and her feeling misled. 28
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5.HOW YOU HANDLE STRESS The first few weeks and even months of dating are great! Every time she is with you, it’s like a mini vacation. You put your worries aside and allow her to be part of your fun time. But, it all changes when issues in your life arise. Women are natural nurturers so she is eager to be your comfort, but you shut her out completely. You become easily irritated, noticeably angry, and bottle up your emotions. It’s a whole new side of you that she hasn’t seen before and she’s watching closely to see how well you handle it. She’s looking for you to take the lead and this will give her an indication of the future because stress is inevitable, how you handle it is optional. 6.SEXUAL PERFORMANCE You were Superman in the bed in the beginning. Does she really expect you to keep that up? Maybe. Not every time, but at least be consistent. However shallow it may be, your sexual prowess is one of the things that hooked her and it is a vital contribution to your relationship. A lot of women only allow certain sides of themselves to come out during sex—it’s an outlet for them that she may not be able to express anywhere else and it affects her attitude greatly. She may feel more vibrant and relaxed after wards and definitely more into you. Don’t leave her longing for Superman, pull out that cape and rock her world. I guarantee the reward will be limitless. 29
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7.HOW YOU EAT If you’re a sloppy eater, you’re a sloppy kisser or if you eat so fast, that you forget to swallow, your sexual performance will be the same way. This may not even be true, but it’s what she thinks. It’s what her mother taught her. If you take time to savor and enjoy your meal, you’ll take time to savor and enjoy her as well. You may not know it, but women actually analyze the way you eat. It can be seen as an indicator of what “dessert” will be like. If she opts out of the goodnight kiss after dinner, it may just be because you’re a sloppy eater who didn’t wipe your mouth or chew your food completely. Without saying a word, you have told her that you will treat her the same way and she ends the night with a polite wave goodbye.
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Self-Love By Patrice Rivers
When you find relationships failing because it seems that the love isn’t there anymore…you then ask yourself was it ever worth it in the beginning? You are always hearing the saying “self-love is the best love!” It is the best love! You must first love yourself before you can learn and accept the love from other people. There are so many people that are lacking this type of encouragement within themselves. Look into the mirror and ask yourself “Do I love myself?”
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1) Never rely on the world to love you! When God created us, He created us to love us equally and to give us a vision. He is our deepest love when no one loves us back. This world is filled with the type of hatred when there isn’t a lot of love expressed because there are too many people arguing, killing and holding grudges. But keep in mind that we have to love ourselves first. That’s the bottom line! Stop looking in the wrong places for the little bit of comfort from people that probably doesn’t care about you. Learn to accept love from your closest family and friends. As far as relationships, ladies, never look for love in a man when the only thing he probably cares about is using you to his greatest advantage until he can’t get anything else from you. Be smart about whom you choose to let in 33
your heart and about the men you let into your inner peace. Learn to love every aspect of your body including who you are. When you understand who you are as a person, then you will be able to see things more clearly. How can one be in a successful relationship if you can’t love yourself first?
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tween that. A lot of people fail when they put their heart and soul into human flesh and depend on them to love them, but love doesn’t get better when only you begin to nurture yourself better with self-love.
2) Nurture yourself! “Talk” to yourself! 3) It’s okay to be lonely! The key to loving yourself to the fullest There are times where we fear of being alone with ourselves because we want is talking to yourself! And no I don’t mean it in a crazy way, but telling your- someone by our side to comfort us and self how special you are an that God is to love us. There isn’t anything wrong with that, but truth be told, being lonely still blessing you. You have to realize that no one is perfect and that you will and being by yourself at times is great learn from your past mistakes. Yes there time to spend with knowing who you reare times where we feel that the whole ally are as a person! Never fear to be in your own presence. We all need that world is against us and that the world “alone time,” away from people, away hates us, but remember it’s not what the world thinks because no one’s opin- from the negativity in our lives and away ion should matter. Love yourself like no from the world. So why do some people fear of being lonely? This goes back to other and never let a man come be34
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never settling for love from someone else, but loving yourself first. How will you ever learn to be in a relationship and giving your partner space when you don’t know how to be by yourself? I remember going to a single’s conference last year and some of the ladies were discussing the same thing. You have to be alone at times to discover the real you. This message is for men as well because some men have a hard time leaving women alone and giving them their space. Men need to relax and keep to themselves at time and learn more about their manhood. In order to grow stronger as a man and woman, is to spend quality time with the spiritual side of us and to mentally challenge our minds. So remember that no love is greater, but self-love is the best love!
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Candy Crush Saga or Crack Crush Society? By: Denetra Key
Why is it that every time I log onto Facebook; more especial on my boyfriend's page, I see at least twenty request a day from the most thugged out, grown ass men for “Candy Crush Saga”? (Most of you know I run his page because he is incarcerated) Seriously!?! It will pop up "Don Killa Solja" has sent you a request for Candy Crush Saga. Then there I go rollin on the floor because at that very moment "Don Killa" has lost all the respect I had built up over the years as a gangsta, hustla, pimp, playa and a thug. All his accreditation has completely 37
flown out the window. I don't care how many aves of the hood that nigga runs. To me now he's just a wuss. Gangstas don't play no damn games with a little white girl askin them to go get her some candy. Real thugs play stuff like Madden, Mortal Combat, Call of Duty, Grand Theft Auto and whatever the hottest basketball game is out right now. Not some lil game where you move pieces of candy around the screen. Where is the masculinity in
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that? Men like to blow shit up... knock shit over...be rowdy! "Raaah, I feel manly now I just killed off all the zombies and saved the planet." "Next level!" They like to do shit that they dream about as lil boys such as winning the NBA championship. Everybody can't be a LeBron or Kobe when they grow up. That's why they created these games so that you get to actually play and live out at least part of those dreams. I know that millions are buying into the
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Candy Crush thing. A nurse at me doctor's office told me she's on level 500 and some. Now how much time has she been spending playing that damn game! I was actually very reluctant to try it. But of course, after hearing everyone on “The Book” talking about it, I gave in. Boy what a Pandora's Box. I'd say that first twenty nine level's was a breeze then I hit level thirty that mug shut me
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down. They use the tactic of giving you five lives and then when you are out of lives that's when the real ish surfaces. You can buy more lives for only... Ok reel me in and then ask me for loot. I got ya. I see. It's all a money trap. Best believe sista girl wasn't gonna pay no money to buy any extra tools to make me win or any extra lives either.
level? Urghh! See y'all know what I'm talking bout. I knew I had some Candy Crushers that were gonna read this. LOL!
The game can be very addictive. In fact I've heard that there are millions of Americans turned out on this new Candy Crush Crack. I was almost one of them. I played every night before I went Oh and don't you hate when they let to sleep and every morning while I was you get to a certain level and then make drinking my coffee to start my day. And you go back and do old levels again but Lord only knows how much I played in you have to wait twenty for hours bebetween. fore you can play that next challenge
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I found my way around their blocks though. I just searched and found all the saga games and down loaded them. That way I'd never get locked out of all the madness at the same time. I even found a jewel game very similar to Candy Crush to play. I now have "Witch Bubble Saga", "Pet Rescue Saga", and Farm Heroes Saga. I even have one called Papa Pearls Saga but I haven't played it yet. I wish I could say that I downloaded all of these games for my eight year old daughter with ADHD, but no. I'm the
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culprit. I was so bad I was playin when I was driving. Yeah I know not one of my smartest moves ever. This is what the headline would have read had I met my demise. "Women Dies in a Head on Collision with a ------------------Her Cell Phone Survived and Her Screen Showed Candy Crush Saga." The autopsy report would list Candy Crush as my cause of death! Damn, Damn, Damn! I guess they need to make more warnings up but instead of saying not to drink
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and drive or text and drive they should say don't Candy Crush and drive, for those retarded people like me. But thankfully nothing ever happened.
home life and work ability. You CRUSHIN too hard. Time to let it go! AS for what I began this piece speakin on. All you beautiful thugs out there. And I do wonder however have there been don't get mad cause I still love me a any fatalities due to people playing Can- thug ya'll can play but don't be sending dy Crush. How many kids have been ne- request out to everyone. That is so glected because Mom is too busy play- damn de-masculinizing. Seriously I be like what the hell!?! Every time I see ing this game? Wake up people it's a that mess. Keep your image up and ploy! your game tight! That's it for now. Until I have been able to wean myself of the next time; NO MORE CANDY CRUSHIN! insanity of Candy Crush. I now only play See how long you can go without it! I at night while I'm trying to fall asleep. I dare ya! now know that it's an addiction. "Hello my name is Denetra and I'm an addict." Wow after thirty six years I sure chose on hell of a thing to become addicted to. But it is what it is. I can say that during a very dark time the Saga games kept me from dealing with my own personal sagas of my life. I played so much I didn't have time to think about the drama or pain I was in. I was busy Candy Crushin. However I would say when it interferes with your 41
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So humor me folks take this quiz I found online. If you answer “Yes” to most of the questions then you too are a Candy Crushin Crack Head LOL! Just kidding … but too many Yes’s does mean that it is a problem! Q1Do you think about Candy Crush when you're not playing it? Yes No Q.2Have you ever deleted Candy Crush from your phone or deliberately stopped playing it in an effort to cut back? Yes No Q.3Do you feel restless between games or when you're forced to wait for a new game because of the time limit? Yes No Q.4Have you ever paid to start a new game rather than wait? Yes No 42
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Q.5Have you ever manually changed the time on your phone or cheated in some other way in order to skip the wait time between games? Yes No Q.6When you sit down to play, do you play longer than you originally intended? Yes No Q.7Have you ever ignored friends, family or work to play Candy Crush? Does it interfere with your relationships and/or work? Yes No
Q.8Have you ever argued with friends or family about playing Candy Crush? Yes No
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Q.9Have you ever lied to a friend or to family about playing Candy Crush? Yes No
Q.10Do you use Candy Crush as a way to escape a problem or relieve a dysphoric mood (anxiety, depression, etc.)? Yes No
Say to yourself… “Hello, my name is _____________ and I’m a Candy Crushin Addict.”
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The Side Chick By: Angela Williams
It seems that the myth of a man shortage still exists and has caused some women to become the side chick. What is even more astounding is that some wear it as a badge of honor. The definition of a side chick is the other woman; the mistress; a female that is neither a man’s wife nor girlfriend who has sexual relations with him while he is in another relationship. In other words, you are not the primary and therefore not a priority. And unfortunately you may be just one of a few side chicks. The side chick is willing to accept a lot 46
of (in my opinion) crap. She accepts this just to be with "her man". The clandestine meetings in odd places at odd times. Never being able to display pictures of the two of them together publicly just in case someone guesses their
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secret. She can't meet the family because she doesn't hold the title of wife or girlfriend and is just and is just a secret. She must be willing to be available when he wants her and she is at his
man. Some have become the side chick because the man had some serious game and roped her into his web. He either straight up lied and said that there was no one in is life and she believed it. Or he gave her some well used lines that she fell for hook, line and sinker. "I'm still with her, but we sleep in separate rooms." "She doesn't understand me and my sexual needs." "She lost interest in sex." "It's complicated." "I'm staying with her until the kids get older." "She doesn't love me anymore." "I'm going to get a divorce as soon as (fill in the blank)." These lines play on her emotions and give her a false sense of hope that they will be a couple out in the open and not a secret.
Being a side chick often means you spend holidays, birthdays and vacations without him. These special times are reserved for the wife or girlfriend and the family. All the side chick gets is the leftobeck and call. She sees no other men vers‌.. celebrating holidays and birthbecause he doesn't want her to see anydays the day after and never the day of one else. Somewhere in the back of her the event. The primary is showered with mind she hopes that her putting him gifts and time. The side chick gets less first and her loyalty to him will make elaborate gifts and less time. There is him see the light and truly become her 47
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even a Side Chick Day. It is defined as enough to know that you don't have to the day after any major holiday or birth- share a man. Love yourself enough to know you are worthy of being the main day. woman and not someone's playthang. So I have to ask... what are the benefits Love yourself enough to learn and know of being a side chick? Let's face it if he your worth. Sometimes it's better to be is unhappy in his relationship with the alone for the right reasons instead of primary he would have been long gone. being with someone for the sake of not He's not staying because of the kids. being alone. He's staying because he wants to stay. There is nothing complicated. He wants to eat his cake, cookies and ice cream. While he's playing with your emotions his life is going on just the same, while yours is on hold. You have to realize that only 3% of men actually commit to the side chick. It is time to let go of the illusion that he loves you. If he loved you, then he would respect you enough to dissolve the previous relationship before getting involved with you. Let go of the lie that you're okay with the arrangement. You know you really don't want to share a man. Let go of the myth that all the good men are taken. That is a LIE. There are plenty of good men out there, but they may not be packaged how you want them. Stop being the side chick. Love yourself enough to say no more. Love yourself 48
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UIM C E L E B R A T E S 52
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UIM’s 25 Lil Known Black History Facts By:D Queen
Fact #1
Fact #4
As a child Muhammad Ali was refused an autograph by his boxing idol, Sugar Ray Robinson. When Ali became a prizefighter, he vowed never to deny an autograph request, which he honored throughout his career.
Jazz, an African–American musical form born out of the blues, ragtime and marching bands, originated in Louisiana during the turn of the 19th century. The word "jazz" is a slang term that at one point referred to a sexual act.
Fact #2
Fact #5
Muhammad Ali, the self-proclaimed "greatest [boxer] of all time," was originally named after his father, who was named after the 19th-century abolitionist and politician Cassius Marcellus Clay.
During the 1930s, painter Charles Alston founded the 306 group, which convened in his studio space and provided support and apprenticeship for AfricanAmerican artists, including Langston Hughes; sculptor Augusta Savage; and Fact #3 mixed-media visionary Romare Allensworth is the first all-black CaliforBearden. nian township, founded and financed by African Americans. Created by Lieu- Fact #6 tenant Colonel Allen Allensworth in Before Wally Amos became famous for 1908, the town was built with the inhis "Famous Amos" chocolate chip tention of establishing a self-sufficient cookies, he was a talent agent at the city where African Americans could live William Morris Agency, where he their lives free of racial prejudice. worked with the likes of the Supremes and Simon & Garfunkel. 54
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Fact #6 Before Wally Amos became famous for his "Famous Amos" chocolate chip cookies, he was a talent agent at the William Morris Agency, where he worked with the likes of the Supremes and Simon & Garfunkel.
degree in theology from Georgetown University in 1985. Fact #11
After African-American performer Josephine Bakerexpatriated to France, she famously smuggled military intelligence to French allies during Fact #7 World War II. She did this by pinning seMartin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated crets inside her dress, as well as hiding on friend Maya Angelou's birthday, on them in her sheet music. April 5, 1968. Angelou stopped celeFact #12 brating her birthday for years afterward, Scientist and mathematician Benjamin and sent flowers to King's widBanneker is credited with helping to deow, Coretta Scott King, for more than 30 sign the blueprints for Washington, D.C. years, until Coretta's death in 2006. Fact #13 Fact #8 Before he was a renowned Louis Armstrong learned how to play artist, Romare Bearden was also a talthe cornet while living at the Colored ented baseball player. He was recruited Waif's Home for Boys. by the Philadelphia Athletics on the preFact #9 text that he would agree to pass as white. He turned down the offer, instead Musician Louis Armstrong earned the nickname "Satchmo" which was a short- choosing to work on his art. ened version of the moniker "satchel mouth." Fact #10 After a long career as an actress and singer, Pearl Baileyearned a bachelor's
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Fact #14 Though he is of Caribbean ancestry and had a trailblazing smash with his 1956 album Calypso, Harry Belafonte was actually born in the United States. The internationally renowned entertainment
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icon and human rights activist is from Harlem, New York. Top 50 Little UIM’s
Known Black History Facts
Fact #15
By:D Queen
Musician and activist Harry Belafonte originally devised the idea for "We Are the World," a single that he hoped Fact #1 would help raise money for famine relief inAs Africa. The song was aAli huge a child Muhammad wassuccess, refused going multi-platinum bringing in an autograph by his and boxing idol, Sugar millions of dollars. Ray Robinson. When Ali became a
Jazz, an African–American musical form born out of the blues, ragtime and marching bands, originated in Louisiana during the turn of the 19th century. The prizefighter, he vowed never to deny an word "jazz" is a slang term that at one Fact #16 autograph request, which he honored point referred to a sexual act. Before becoming a professional musithroughout his career. Fact #5 cian, Chuck Berrystudied to be a hairFact #2 During the 1930s, painter Charles Aldresser. ston founded the 306 group, which conMuhammad Ali, the self-proclaimed Fact #17 "greatest [boxer] of all time," was origi- vened in his studio space and provided Chuck Berry's famous "duck walk" dance support and apprenticeship for Africannally named after his father, who was originated in 1956, when Berry attemptnamed after the 19th-century abolition- American artists, including Langston ed to hide wrinkles in his trousers by Southern Conference Humanand Hughes; sculptor Augustaon Savage; ist and politician Cassius Marcellus Clay. the shaking them out with his nowWelfare in Birmingham, Alabama, so she mixed-media visionary Romare Fact #3 signature body movements. could sit next to African-American eduBearden. Allensworth is the first all-black Califor- cator and activist Mary McLeod BethuFact #18 Fact #6 nian township, founded and financed ne. Roosevelt would come to refer to The parents of actress Halle Berry chose Before Wally Amos became famous for by African Americans. Created by Lieu- Bethune as "her closest friend in her age their daughter's name from Halle's Dehis "Famous Amos" chocolate chip tenant Colonel Allen Allensworth in group." partment Store, a local landmark in her cookies, he was a talent agent at the 1908, the town was built with the inbirthplace of Cleveland, Ohio. Fact #20 tention of establishing a self-sufficient William Morris Agency, where he Fact #19 singer worked with the James likes of the Sucity where African Americans could live Legendary Brown of a televised premesperformed and Simonin&front Garfunkel. Intheir 1938, firstfree ladyofEleanor Rooselives racial prejudice. velt challenged the segregation rules at audience in Boston the day after Martin Fact #4 56
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Luther King Jr.was assassinated. Brown is often given credit for preventing further riots with the performance.
"genius" grant from the MacArthur Foundation. Fact #23
When African-American neurosurgeon Ben Carson was a child, his mother required him to read two library books a week and give her written reports, even though she was barely litFact #21 erate. She would then take the papers Chester Arand pretend to carefully review them, thur"Howlin' placing a checkmark at the top of the Wolf" Burpage to show her approval. The assignnett was one of ments inspired Carson's eventual love the world's of reading and learning. most important Fact #24 blues singers, Politician, educator and Brooklyn nasongwriters tive Shirley Chisholm survived three asand musicians, sassination attempts during her caminfluencing popular rock acts like the paign for the 1972 Democratic nominaRolling Stones and Eric Clapton. Howlin' tion to the U.S. presidency. Wolf maintained financial success throughout his life, held a stable mar- Fact #25 riage and worked for charitable causes Rap artist Chuck D graduated from in his Chicago community. Adelphi University, where he studied Fact #22 Female science fiction author Octavia Butler was dyslexic. Despite her disorder, she went on to win Hugo and Nebula awards for her writing, as well as a
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graphic design.
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OLYMPICS FIASCO: THE DISRESPECT JOURNALS By: Deszion Nasir
The United States Olympic team and at ist threats ahead of the Winter Games, Russia’s concern is the volatile Cauca- adding to mounting security fears two sus region, several hundred miles east weeks before competition begins. of Sochi, where Russia has been The International Olympic Comfighting a simmering Islamist insurgen-
cy, and where suspected militants are believed to have an eye on humiliating Putin by disrupting the games. In the Caucasus republic of Dagestan, a wanted woman was killed Saturday by Russian forces, NBC News confirmed. Other suspected militants have been killed in the region in recent days, and Russian operations there continue. least five other national delegations have received messages making terror-
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mittee told NBC News on Wednesday that it did not consider the threat credible and said that it appeared to be “a random message from a member of the public.” The U.S. Olympic Committee received an email in broken English warning the Americans not to attend the games, which formally begin Feb. 7 in the Russian resort of Sochi. The Olym
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pic organizing committees of Germany, Hungary, Italy, Slovakia and Slovenia also reported getting threats.
isn't as deep as you'd think. The almighty dollar. That's right, money. Russia outbid Austria and South Korea But wanted posters seen in Sochi, some (good Lord). The revenue the Olympics posted at hotels, suggest Russian forces brings into a country, despite the controare looking for at least five other people, versy, is inevitable. The current estimatincluding three women known as “black ed cost is 51 billion, 30 of it rumored to widows” who are suspected be suicide be embezzled or given in kickbacks by/ to Putin. There are several whispered bombers. and shouted complaints of corruption “Black widows,” so named besurrounding Putin. cause many of them have been spurred How did Sochi win the bid? to violence to avenge the deaths of their husbands, have been involved in some Through a mix of Putin's charm, grand of Russia’s most notorious terrorist at- ambition, and promises to spend lots of money. The South Korean resort of tacks over the past decade. Why in the world would a country known for racism, anti-gay beliefs and the like host the Olympics? The answer 61
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Pyeongchang had been the clear favorite to host the Games, until Putin made it his personal mission to secure the bid, traveling to Guatemala City in 2007 to make Russia's final pitch and sweet-talk members of the International Olympic Committee into voting 51–47 in Sochi's favor. "Putin being here was very important," said IOC member Jean-Claude Killy. "He worked very hard at it. He was nice. He spoke French — he never speaks French." It also helped that Putin's original guarantee to spend $12 billion on the project dwarfed the other candidates' budgets. But now that costs have ballooned, Sochi's price tag has become a source of some embarrassment. "In the beginning, money was a reason and argument for Russia to win the right to host the Olympics," said Igor Nikolaev, director of strategic analysis at FBK, a Moscow consulting firm. "But it turned out we spent so much that everybody is trying not to talk about it anymore." What about terrorism? It's a serious concern. Chechen rebel leader Doku Umarov has urged his Islamist fighters in the neighboring North Caucasus to target the Games and cause as much carnage as possible. The Olympics, says Umarov, are being held "on
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the bones of our ancestors, on the bones of many, many dead Muslims buried on the territory of our land on the Black Sea." As proof that this threat is not idle, two men from the North Caucasus carried out deadly bombings in December in the city of Volgograd — the northeastern gateway to Sochi — killing 32 people. In response, Putin has deployed more than 30,000 police and interior ministry troops in Sochi, in one of the biggest security operations in Olympic history. What happens to Sochi later? Putin hopes the seaside town will become a year-round resort that attracts everything from Formula 1 races to political conferences like the G-8 summit, scheduled to be held there in June. Others expect Sochi to go the way of past Olympic host communities Athens and
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Beijing, where many of the facilities now sit empty. For Russia's president, however, what's most important is that the Games themselves go off successfully. "Putin believes that the Winter Games are his personal project and his personal triumph," says Nemtsov. "He wants to demonstrate his power to the whole world." Defying Putin's anti-gay law Russia caused outrage last year when it passed a law banning "gay propaganda," a blanket term for any behavior that promotes homosexuality, punishable by up to 15 days in jail. The bill raised widespread calls for world leaders and athletes to boycott the Games, and though ."
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the IOC says it's "fully satisfied" the legislation doesn't violate the Olympic charter, President Barack Obama nevertheless announced he wouldn't be attending Sochi, defiantly appointing two openly gay ex-athletes, Billie Jean King and Caitlin Cahow, to go instead. All eyes will now be on Russia's police and security forces and the IOC to see how they respond to protests — including a planned gay-pride parade in Sochi on the opening day of the Olympics. Not that Putin will be fazed by the criticism; in Russia, open derision of homosexuality remains commonplace. "Nothing the West says can influence him at all on issues like gay rights," says Marc Bennetts, author of Kicking the Kremlin. "A rift with the West only makes him look stronger at home.” At this point, athletes' families are being told not to even attend the games, forcing them to skip out on the dreams that they have closed their eyes and seen for so many years. Some athletes have had the heartbreaking decision of attending or not attending because of danger issues, anti-gay issues, or the fact that their families are not going to be safe to at64
tend. It's an absolutely shameful thing when the one event that is supposed to bring the world together can be bought and sold to corruption in order to make a buck, or a ruble, at the sacrifice of so many dedicated athletes. It disgusts me. It SHOULD disgusts everyone. But it doesn't. The love of money will always be the root of all evil. It is my prayer that all our athletes will be safe in their journey. The committee that selects the locations of the games will hopefully look at the fiasco that has become the 2014 olympics and learn a valuable lesson: OUR ATHLETES LIVES ARE NOT FOR SALE!
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What’s Going On: Still Shooting By Aj Whitsett
What’s going on readers and welcome to another edition of “What’s Goin On?” In the past I’ve talked a few times about public and/or mass shootings and it seems I will not be able to stop talking about it any time soon. I do know that someone is shot everyday by another as a result of negligence, conflict and confrontation, and as dumb as it sounds, conflict resolution but sometimes there are a few that stand out in the public eye. Those are the Sandy Ridge Elementary school shooting in Connecticut and the theater shooting in Aurora, CO. Here it is, only a few weeks into 2014 and there have been so many public/mass shootings already. Some may say I talk about this all the time but these kind of acts of violence just touch me in such a way and I cannot understand how someone can take out their frustrations
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on a group of innocent people, especially on children, or shoot someone in a crowded area such as a shopping mall without any thoughts of so many others may get hurt. Now that, I just can’t understand it. Last year, that Sandy Ridge Elementary School was just a horrific act of what could actually be called
terrorism by some people and in some ways I can agree. When enlisting and re-enlisting into the military there is a statement that goes “swear to defend this country against all
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enemies, foreign and domestic” but for some reason, I feel like that this country dodges the facts when any act of terrorism is committed on US soil by someone from the US as they did for a little while when the Boston Marathon Bombing occurred. I for one, being a Veteran of the US Army and a 3 time combat vet can and
the street outside. It ended up in one man shooting another but also shot 3 other people simply because he wanted that one man so bad that he had no remorse for shooting into a crowd of people.
At Purdue University a 23 year old teaching assistant was shot and killed by a 21 year old senior inside will say without question of a campus building. In that it is terrorism. Roswell, NM at Berrendo Back to the subject at Middle School a 12 year old boy pulled a shotgun out of hand, here it is a few a bag and opened fire inweeks into 2014, January 27th, to be exact and just juring two people. This is a 12 year old people. In a few days ago 2 people the wake of all the reports were shot a killed at a that you hear about stuZumiez store in a mall in Columbia, MD. Reports show dents being bullied and retaliating to the incidents, that 19 year old Darion Aguilar walked into an en- it makes me think about when I was 12. I was a kid trance of a mall, walked into Zumiez, shot two peo- that did not hit the 5 foot mark until I was in the 8th ple, and then turned the gun on himself. You have to grade. People attempted to wonder in a situation like bully me a few times with that what could possibly be no success. It wasn’t because I was some “bad-ass” going through someone’s so to speak but I just mind to walk into a place simply stood up for myself like that and shoot. I’m and bringing a gun to from Greensboro, NC and there was an incident a few school to solve the problem definitely didn’t cross my years ago where a fight started inside of a night- mind. I asked this quesclub and spilled over into tion in an issue a few months ago but who in the 67
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world wakes up in the morning, go through their morning rituals, heads off to school of all places, and ask themselves “Will anything tragic happen today at school?” It makes you wonder are schools even safe these days?
cities? What about the people and incidents in the more urban areas? According to www.salon.com, the inner -city of Baltimore has seen 19 homicides this year so far and were not even in February and Im sure this is the case with several other maI jor metdon’t ropolitan want to areas seem across like I the naam all tion. I over know the school place shootings in this resonate article with evebut as ryone and I write it should make the news. I this something dawned on me. Earlier I stated that I think the more people that know these things the betknow everyday someone is ter but don’t forget about shot involving something small that ends up in use- the others. So I guess the million dollar question is less violence but which what are we to do about ones do the news tell about? I have begun to no- these things? I have no clue but at the very least tice a trend. Most of the I can keep doing what I am shootings you hear about are the ones that occur in doing and by keep letting an affluent community with people know about the hapa rather small population. penings across the country to the best of my ability. So what about the people and incidents in the inner- So with that being said 68
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here are some incidents that most people probably didn’t hear about: Frank and Anthony Turner, father and son, January 1st, Washington, DC, Murder-Suicide in Spanish Fork, UT that left 5 dead, 4 people and injured outside of a church in Rocky Mount, NC, 5 people shot and injured at a nightclub in Huntsville, AL, and two 15 year olds shot by another student in
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Delaware Valley Charter High School’s gymnasium in Philadelphia, PA just to name a few. At the way things are looking so far, and Lord knows I hate to say this, 2014 is not starting off so good but only time will tell how it will end. So let’s just wait and see but in the meantime pray for the safety of this country.
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Urban Image Presents
Author Perri Forest
an interview with Emiaj AhDai
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“A Lioness Tale”: by Perri Forrest Review by: E. Ahdai
Gabriella Sandoval lived somewhat of sheltered and pampered life. Born to successful and love parents she knew exactly what love was supposed to feel like. I am sure everyone can remember their “first love.” She had found that in her high school love Kenny. It seemed to be heading down the right road until the relationship was a dealt a blow like no other. Kenny had decided to deviate from the original plan. They were to attend the same college together. Kenny acceptance of a scholarship to a school across the country broke up their relationship. This part of the story sounded so familiar to me. I say that because that is exactly what happened with my high school sweetheart and I. We had planned to go the same college and everything. Both of us had been accepted but he never told me
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until my sophomore year of college. I was tired of all the traveling on my end since he couldn’t really come home on the weekends. I began to change and I couldn’t really see us making until graduation. Enough of my story now back Gabriella. With the heartbreak she was dealt, it set her on somewhat of a journey to sex with no strings attached. For years on top of years this worked for her life. Well, until someone tried to penetrate her heart. The wall she built seemed more of a fortress covered in ice. It didn’t seem to make her cold and bitter, just a little reluctant to love again. She used her business to create a reason to not have to acknowledge the things that were going on in her heart. That too sounds real familiar to me. I am sure you don’t want to hear any more of my story. More time passes and my question to you reader “Would you have given Kenny another chance?” Well that is exactly what she is faced with ten years later. On one her many trips to her beautiful Brazil she has just that chance. Every feeling rushes back. 72
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Everything that she tried so hard to repress came right back up. You will truly have to read the book to know how it ended. I remember when I finished the book I went to Perri’s Facebook page and had to let her know how I was feeling about this book. This book had me living my life all over again and seeing my own mistakes I made. I had to thank her for this piece of work. I know you are wondering how many stars I am giving this is book. It is well worth 5 stars.
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Author’s Corner: Conversations with Perri Forrest The first time I got to be the presence of Perri Forrest, I knew she was going to be a force to reckon with. She is so outspoken and has thrust for knowledge like no other. Her debut novel “A Lioness Tale” continues to receive rave reviews. I am not even talking about my own review of it. Here is the conversation with Perri Forrest.
E. Ahdai: For our readers; where are you from? Perri : Born in Cincinnati, Ohio raised in California E. Ahdai: What was it like growing up there? Perri: It was typical. It was nothing too special. I don’t think I’ve ever been the type to relate to any one geographical location because I didn’t feel a connection to any particular place. I guess, when you think about it, I’m not really tied to any memories…yet. E. Ahdai: When did you know that you wanted to be an author? Perri: When I took creative writing in college was when I started to think that I wanted to write, but I never acted on it. I was invited to write as ¼ of an anthology, and that sparked the fire, but after that story, I was so detached from what I wrote, I still didn’t act on anything. 74
When I was invited back again to write with the same group, I began thinking that maybe I wasn’t as bad as I thought I was (although it’s still hard for me to look at that first story and take it seriously). On the second go ‘round I gave it an energy I hadn’t given to the first one and the flow and excitement I had while writing that story, gave me life. That story was published in February of 2013, and by the end of 2013, I’d written, and published 4 works. So I guess if I’m being honest, I would say I knew I wanted to be an author last year. E. Ahdai: When it comes to sitting down a creating a story; do you have any rituals that you go through to get the story out?
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Perri: No rituals. It literally begins with a sentence. I don’t even really know how to explain that, but it’s almost like a guided prompt that I’m given – only I give it to myself. Everything that I write has begun with a sentence. No lie. The rest is built out as I go. Don’t know how long that’s gonna work for me, but it’s working now, so I’m going with it. Lol. E. Ahdai: Who inspires you? Perri: It’s not a who, it’s a what. Music. It’s right there with me and gets me in a flow I can’t explain. I’m a lover of GOOD R&B music so when that’s on, I go and all else is blocked out. Add outdoors to that, and I could probably push out an entire story in a matter of hours. I would say that I’m my own inspiration in a lot of ways because honestly for the first time in my life, I am committing to something and sticking with it. I eat, sleep, and breathe writing. There’s not a time of the day where I’m not thinking story ideas in my head and that’s how I know I’m married to the game. I’m a Write or Die Chick, for real. If I couldn’t express, I would be no good. E. Ahdai: With your book “A Lioness’ Tale” was it based off any true life stories? Perri: I would say yes. I would also say that I don’t think there’s a story around that isn’t. But yeah, some of what was 75
written there was taken from various point of life – mine and others, and either embellished upon, or slightly condensed. Not all, but some of it, yes. E. Ahdai: It seemed like Kenny created the chain reaction inside of Gabriella? Do you think it takes one heart break to make that wall go up? Perri: He did create the chain reaction. No, I don’t believe that a single heartbreak can do that, but the one that impacted the person the most could. I believe that a traumatic experience like the one she experienced can go with you in life. Heartbreak is something that we all go thru, from adolescence all the way and through our adulthood. If you look at some of the behavior of people who have been through it, you can definitely see how the effect of those emotions can transfer into other areas of life. In her case, she felt that men were temporary, and why give her all. She hadn’t even realized that was what she was doing, until that past love reentered her life. Sometimes we don’t know why we behave the way we do, until something trig
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gers those emotions. It’s kind of like asthma. People think that asthma goes away, it never does. It’s in dormant until something triggers it – if something triggers it. E. Ahdai: Do you think the person who caused the heart break can really change and break down the wall? Perri: Of course! If I didn’t that would mean I’m saying that people don’t change and that would never make sense. To change is to grow, and we all do that or we’d be extinct. On that note, they’d have to be bold enough to do so. Especially, if they knew the level of emotional turmoil they took someone through. Not everyone knows, and that could either be because their feelings weren’t as involved as yours were, or that they were just going with the flow the entire time, unaware of the extent of the emotions. E. Ahdai: What advice would you give to someone going through heart break? Perri: It would really depend on that person. I’m not interested in the person who keeps going back to the torture, so I wouldn’t have much to contribute to that line of misery. If it were somebody on the other end of it, I would tell them to dig deep inside and find something that they love, and migrate toward that. To fall into a hobby or 76
some friends who can take their mind away, and let that take up the mental space that the heartbreaker left behind. A lot of times people get so involved in the heartbreak because they made that person the center of their universe when they should not have. It’s 100/100. No 50/50, no 70/30, no 80/20. It’s all or nothing and nobody requires that, but wonder why they are left trying to pick up the pieces of something that only really meant something to them. E. Ahdai Have you ever thought about adding to Natalia story after she moved to California? Perri: There will be another story. I’m working on it now. E. Ahdai: Have you ever been to Brazil, if so what was it like? Perri: I’ve been to Brazil. Lived there for 2 years, and spoke Portuguese fluently. I loved it. What I remember is looking outside all hours of the day and night and seeing people. It was always “alive”, and I loved that. There was always a healthy gathering of people on the streets. Just gave me the sense that I was never alone.
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E. Ahdai: What are you currently working on? What can we expect from you in the year to come? Perri: I have my series of Pandora’s Box that is doing surprisingly well. I come to tears every time I read a review. It’s humbling. I wrote the first installment of that series, “The Color of Lies”, while I was waiting for the editing to be done on “A Lioness’ Tale”, and I was a ball of nerves. For 4 months, everyday all day, I worked on “A Lioness’ Tale”, and then one day it was done and I didn’t know where to put that energy. And it started with a sentence and went from there. I wrote that story in 4 days and it’s my best seller on Amazon and has had me on the bestseller’s list for a while. The second installment is getting good reviews as well, and the third will be coming by the beginning of February. I’m fine tuning it now. I also have a story called “Class Reunion” that will be dropping at the same time as my second installment for Pandora’s Box, and I’m working on another full length novel right now, but I won’t give the title away until I’m nearer the finish line. E. Ahdai: What is something that you want to share with your readers? Perri: That it will always be my goal to bring the best story possible to them. Another, I am al77
ways eager to hear from them and that what they think of my writings matter. I’m always up for constructive criticism, and that overall I take this thing seriously. I’m thinking big and the way to get to big is to take risks, be unafraid, and be open. E. Ahdai: What advice would you give other aspiring authors/writers? Perri: To keep writing. Build up a healthy rapport of friends who support you. It’s the time in our lives where we have to surround ourselves with those who can be beneficial to us. I don’t mean that in a way of, “If you can’t do anything for me, you can’t be here…” type of way. I mean that in the make sure the relationships you are building are healthy, and genuine ones. It doesn’t work without that. I would also say to pay attention to everything. Not everyone has your best interest at heart and not all deals are good deals. I’ve gotten two offers to write for boutique urban entities that I had to turn down because while I know I can produce for them, the chemistry wasn’t there and I didn’t think going that route .
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would benefit me long term. Short term, yes, but I have to look at the bigger picture. I didn’t come into this industry to be here today and gone tomorrow. I live it, so I take all of it to heart.
Find this book and others by Perri Forrest @ Amazon.com
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UIM’S Friends and Fam Speak Their Minds Forum: Q:Sistas of U.I. Your First cousin, who you're close with, Calls you cause she needs a place to stay for only One month. She says she will contribute to the bills... Do you let her come in with you and your man for that month?
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Urban Image LOL Latoya Phelps Corbin Short stay hotels...your home away from home.
Urban Image Willette Barnett and Latoya Phelps Corbin turned into Mrs.Sophia on Color Purple "I said HELLLLL NAWWWLLLLL!!!!"
Urban Image IM Laughing at Toya..
a ee !... s nt eI ag ome m m nI b a o od r F U ul So
Latoya Phelps Corbin I'm good. Let me know what other ways I can support you.
Urban Image Willette Barnett and Latoya Phelps Corbin she's probably a great house guest who cooks, clean and tells great jokes! I know yall still not going! Lmao
Urban Image Latoya Phelps Corbin She trying to Rehab...
Emiaj AhDai If she is my cousin and we are really close she already knows how I feel about people coming to my house and wanting or needing help... So there is no miscommunication about a thing...
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Lat o pe ya P op le help re s s olv Corb et i he n I d ir i o ssu n't f e es at el ob my li ex gate dt pe ns e. o he lp
Willette Barnett HELL NO!!! Lol.
Emiaj AhDai Urban Image why are you laughing
Urban Image Blame Cuzzin Faye...
Latoya Phelps Corbin nope
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a oy id d at e L he ag in S IN " Im n Corb HIP C ba Ur elps 'll " e sh
Urban Image Emiaj AhDai said They know the Rules ..."I'LL KILL'EM DEAD!!"
y sa
Emiaj AhDai Am I the only one who will help their family. I am going to be real honest if your man wants to mess with your cousin he will .. It doesn't even matter what they look like...even if they are a boogawolf he will do it... My first cousins know Emiaj has several crazy bones if I tap one I will get dealt with properly... They are still my family...
Ph
Urban Image To the Y {YMCA}......Classic funny
Emiaj AhDai That's fine am use to it...
Latoya Phelps Corbin oh hell no!!!!! they have facilities for that. lol
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t n' as !! I w N! n O he ATI he y, w PT t st It' tivi TEM ett " ac ut! o r rn Ba cula y ab tte rri orr ille cu w W xtra I'd , "e me ho
Urban Image Yes you in the Cell alone Emiaj AhDai
Urban Image Boy Soul Food change alot of Women minds about Family...LOLOLOL
Taylor Danes I AIN'T COOL WITH SHIT!!! My couch is for my use only better go to the Y
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Ur b say an Im i be ng "A age I st, can ret " AL WA I don ha Fr hea 't w ank r m & m YS y lin o y m sitti san ex-w n ' nt N an ife O rou g !!! nd BOD it " Y loo . kin ... @ me
Urban Image Awwww Hell RUN TEZ!!!
Urban Image I know Danes Taylor cool w ith it . .. O_o
Urban Image Emiaj AhDai go to the corner ...
Latoya Phelps Corbin I will always help my family when I NEED to. Sometimes people are in situations because they have put themselves there. It's not my job to rescue people from their choices. Go live with a single cousin, or your mother, or your aunt, or your best friend....but you just can't live with me.
Emiaj AhDai like I said they know the rules of needing and wanting to live with me... I live by myself anyway
Urban Image LOL Urban Image Skipping to her Lou... Emiaj AhDai Why do I have to be put in corner...nobody puts baby in the corner
Taylor Danes It's not even about my man his ass know better. I have a teenage son and little baby boys I don't want her half naked ass prancing around my house.
Join Our Social Media Pages for More Engulfing Daily Discussions Hosted by Your Boy Shuntez Real Talks in the Afternoon! 82
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The Heart By: Richarh Aswanu
As a writer myself, I am very familiar with the dream of wanting to see your work depicted on the screen. Award winning author Iris Bolling has been able to do just that. “The Heart", a gripping romance debuts Saturday February 15th on CW Richmond WUPU channel 65 at 5:00 am. With her large following and loyal fan base, Ms. Bolling was able to bring her characters to life. The beautiful Morgan McCoy portrays the sharp tongued leading lady Tracy Washington as Aaron Wiggins steps into the shoes of political powerhouse J.D. Harrison. The two are involved in a steamy love affair that is compromised by the stressful world of politics and the secrets of Tracy's past. The elements of drama, politics and murder are sure to have you on the edge of your couch, waiting, anticipating what's next. And we have the lovely couple here with us to discuss The Heart...
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Richarh: Hey how are you guys doing? We're glad to have you. Aaron: Thanks it’s an honor to be here. Morgan: We’re glad to be here, thank you for having us.
be an amazing event filled day.
R: Aaron, do you have any special plans for the occasion? A: You know I’m really just looking forward to being together again with the R: So, entire cast and how are crew. We all ya'll feelput in such ing about hard work on the upthis project coming premiere and to actually of The see what the Heart? final product A: I am looks like on excited, the screen is yet humalready such a bled by special deal the realiwith me. I look zation of forward to what is having my onactually set family mixoccuring it up with ring with this project. It’s been a blessmy real life family and just sharing in the ing and I am looking forward to comfun and festivities of the night. Especialpleting the entire series of The Heart. ly with Richard Jackson (Brian), Morgan M: I’m so excited about the premiere and (Tracy) and Iris and the production can’t wait to see my fellow cast members, meet The Heart Series fans, and of course I team. We have all been a part of these am anxious to see the episode…it’s going to efforts dating back to 2010 so for me
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head, but I have steadily been looking this is like going to last day of the family reunion where everyone gets dress that matches the picture in my and all dressed up and slightly tipsy. I’m sure I’ll find what I’m looking for. I’m going for an elegant, classy, and regal R: Morgan, what do you have laid look…something that will represent me out to wear on premiere night? I know you have something beautiful and Tracy. set aside. R: What attracts Tracy to J.D. HarriM: Well, I definitely have a vision in son, what is it that she finds so irremind of what I want my dress to look sistible? like. The challenge is just finding the M: Wow, there are so many reasons Tra
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cy falls head over heels for Jeffrey. When she initially meets him as a teenager, she is of course physically attracted to him. However Tracy’s attraction to Jeffrey goes beyond his tall muscular stature and handsome face. She’s attracted to his confidence and sincerity. She’s impressed by his ability to be authoritative yet gentle. He’s fun and funny and manages to take care of business all at the same time. She’s attracted to his intelligence, loyalty, love for family, and desire to protect. If you’ve read the book, you know that there are many great qualities about Jeffrey Harrison, so this list truly could go on.
ishes, respects, and treats me. As far as qualities that I look for, I would have to say someone who is confident, caring, protective (but not crazy), attentive, affectionate, a good listener, intelligent, articulate, humble, funny, respectful, and easy to get along with.
R: Aaron, how would you describe you and Morgan's chemistry on screen? A: On screen you will prayerfully see the true fun and excitement we had in depicting these two characters. Morgan is an amazing actress that has such a level of maturity and professionalism that makes it real easy to jump into the right emotional state for each scene. We were comfortable working with each othR: In real life, what attracts you to a er throughout the project, and I man? What qualities do you look credit that to our understanding of for? the importance taking this work seM: That’s a great question. Honestly, in rious and living in the moment evea lot of ways I am similar to Tracy. I mean who wouldn’t want a Jeffrey Har- ry time the action sounds. rison in their life? A Godly man is at- R: I have to ask, our readers are dytractive to me. Not just a man who ing to know. Can we expect to see knows church protocol but someone any steamy scenes from the two of who knows, loves, and respects God. If you this season? M: Well… the show is based on a roa man is trying to live a life to please God then that will directly affect all of mance novel, so there definitely are his relationships and thus how he cher-
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steamy scenes throughout the season. Tracy and Jeffrey develop a sincere love and passion for each other and we make sure that passion is captured on screen as well. I’m sure our readers won’t be disappointed R: How does J.D. feel about ole Slick Jimmy (James Brooks) trying to gain his woman's affection? A:JD, like even the most secure man felt like someone was walking into his space and needed to be reassured of what the situation really is. However, J.D. being the smart man that he is knows that if Tracy was fine enough to attract him, others will be attracted all the same. The motto “Man up” or “Wimp out” definitely applies in this situation so it
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will be fun to see if J.D. knows how to work for his woman. R: Does James' advances put a strain on J.D.'s and Tracy's relationship? A: You know J.D. definitely internalized some of his emotions, which from a passive aggressive standpoint (bottling) always leads to some good drama because when it comes out, it comes out in whatever tone it pleases. So JD and Tracy have a deep discussion about this seemingly formidable opponent. R: Morgan, in everyday life, how should a woman deal with a man's advances when she's already involved with someone?
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M: I think honesty is the best policy. Even though Tracy wasn’t even in a relationship with Jeffrey, she never leads James on and is constantly pushing the brakes on him because she knew that her heart belonged to someone else. Oftentimes we as women can laugh off advances because we don’t want to hurt the gentleman’s feelings or maybe because we like the attention, but this can be dangerous and hurtful to our relationships. It is always best to be firm about your commitment to your relationship while still being polite. We definitely can learn from Tracy in this area. It’s easy to have a double standard in situations like these because we know our intentions or think that the advances are harmless, but a good friend of mine always says, “Sow the seeds today that you want to reap tomorrow”. We need to think about how we want our boyfriends or husbands to respond to advances and apply that principle to our responses. R: Your character, Tracy Washington has a painful past with secrets and untold truths. Can you give us a little hint of what's hidden in her closet? M: Hmm, I don’t want to give too much because there are many twists and turns that take place as Tracy’s past is unfolded. What I will say is that Tracy comes from what most would define as a dysfunctional family. She experienced many challenging situations in her youth which explains why she acts and responds the 89
way that she does. One of the wonderful things about this story is that, although we see the results of Tracy’s upbringing in her interactions with others, we also see how she is still able to rise above the pain and become successful in every area of her life. It is true that it doesn’t matter how you start, it matters how you finish and Tracy is a wonderful example of this and encouragement to anyone who’s been hurt by those who were supposed to nurture, love, and protect you.
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R: This has been a long debated topic. When building a relationship with someone special how much of the past should a woman reveal? M :( laughs) I’m still trying to figure that out myself. Um, I think there are many factors to consider. It depends on the situation, the person, and the sensitivity of the information that you are revealing. A part of me wants to tell it all, so at least he knows my past, present, and then can make a decision on whether he wants to be in my future. What occurs in our past still affects us and thus affects the relationships we are in and it will help that someone special understand why you do what you do if they understand the root of the action. At the same time, you don’t want to give information overload or prematurely share information that can be used against you. Again I say I am still trying to figure this out, so please don’t go home sharing all your dirty laundry and come back saying Morgan said it! It really is a case by case bases so be prayerful and discerning about what to share and when to share it. R: And you Aaron, as a man how much of a woman's past do
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you really want to know? A: I truly think it's important to go into a relationship with a clean slate given by parties. From there you both can share real stories of your lives which will paint the right image for the other person. Its part of having the open line of communication that is so critical in relationships. I feel like the best way for me
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not to feel uncomfortable in any situation with my wife, is for her to know that I will make the right decision when scenarios occur. And I think that by sharing your faults, failures and success in your past is a great way for your lady to see you practice what you preach. Life is a forever learning process and when you include another life, it’s twice the knowledge. Why would you want to be ignorant to such a potentially im-
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portant part of your life? R: When Tracy's secrets rise to the surface, how does it affect her and J.D.'s relationship? A: So without giving too much away about the story, J.D. finds out so much about Tracy’s life thru his job and investigative skill set as the Assistant District Attorney. This occurs prior to JD and Tracy opening up to each other about their past. Yet he em
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braces her in a way that portrays the necessary acts of patience, forgiveness, trust and perseverance. There are a lot of twists and turns in this story that involve Tracy indirectly, but have everything to do with JD and Tracy’s desire to be with one another. I think the audience will enjoy seeing their confessions to one another and if they will make it through all of the inevitable drama. R: Morgan, with all of the drama and external factors surrounding Tracy and J.D's love affair, how are they able to make it work? M: Communication is key to the success of any relationship and Tracy and JD definitely make sure they are in tune with one another in every area. Also, they both have a love and respect for each other. Someone once told me that if you have two people who feel as if they are the best part of the relationship then you have a recipe for disaster. In Jeffrey and Tracy’s story, they each feel as if the other is more than what they deserve so they value each other. When you value someone, then you will cherish, respect, honor, and love them and put them before yourself. Imagine two people doing that for one another, that
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is what Jeffrey and Tracy have and it’s a beautiful thing. R: Aaron, in this day and age, do you believe "True Love" exists?
A: Oh ABSOLUTELY! I consider myself very fortunate, especially in today’s time to bear witness to true
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love through my parents who this year will be celebrating 38 years of marriage. For me that was critical in shaping my thoughts and opinions about love, structure, trust, honest and my love and respect for God. That was my example. So fast forward to my marriage to my beautiful bride, I have found a woman that displays the qualities of a virtuous woman and is perfect for me. I look for-
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ward to displaying similar acts of love, kindness and forgiveness to my son. Almost a generational blessing of sort. What I have with my wife is true love, a blessing and example of Gods’ grace in my life. One of “THE” most important aspects of identifying this kind of love is to have an “EXTREME LIKE” for that person. When you really like that woman/man that you are dating nothing means more in my opinion. You can love someone to the point where you need to let them go. But if you really like someone… like on the level of a best friend, a true homeboy/girl that you can’t wait to call and just talk to about your day or about nothing at all. When being together and just hanging out feels like the best situation and you don’t mind if she never leaves. It’s that LIKE factor! It supersedes passion and lust every time and it that keeps the fire burning when times get tough and no
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one else has your back. When life starts to get you down, your best friend is there to lift you up and comfort you like a best friend would. That’s what’s within TRUE LOVE. And that’s what keeps the joy in the relationship. TRUE LIKE
helps me keep hope alive. I believe that men like the ones in Iris’s books who are honest, loyal, and not afraid of commitment are actually out there, so ladies we must not settle
R: How about you Morgan, do you? M: Of course I believe True Love exists! I’m believing God for my own “Once You’ve Touched the Heart” story, but yes I definitely believe in true love. My parents are celebrating 30 years of marriage on February 18th and I saw an example of true love with them every day. R: Has filming "The Heart" has an impact on your view of love? M: Yes, I would say that “The Heart” has impacted my view on love by renewing my belief in men my age being capable of love like the men of my dad’s generation. Both Aaron (J.D.) and Richard (Brian) recently got married and it was so encouraging to see how they honored their wives on set. In this world where it seems like men are afraid of the “M” word and less people value the institution of marriage it is wonderful to see young successful men who are genuinely in love with their wives and proud of it. Seeing these real examples of good guys on set for six weeks
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for the “David Holts” of the world. R: Aaron how about you Bruh, has filming the show changed your outlook on love in any way?
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A: I would say that the film has changed my outlook on love when it comes to the amount of time and dedication that the man gives to his woman. I truly be-
lieve that you can definitely work your way out of a relationship/ marriage. What happens is that the drive to handle business for the sake of taking care of work, or bringing home the bacon 95
can causes a wedge between the spouses. I see examples of JD’s dedication to his career and the greater good of cleaning up the streets. However there are situations that arise where he has to make necessary sacrifices to insure that Tracy is well taken care of with his attention and TLC. As I look at this acting career ahead of me, no matter what the future holds…my family is my priority. My wife first, my son, my other family members and then the business. It’s so easy to stay attached to your work now with cell phones and tablets attached to our hips, but there is no greater distraction from taking care of home. It’s so critical to set a standard within your house with regards to work time, internet time and family time. So I’ve focused on providing this balance for my family so that our love remains the priority, for better or worse and richer or poorer. R: Other than channel 65 in Richmond is there anywhere else our readers can catch "The Heart?" M: Yes, you will be able to purchase the series on DVD I believe and be able to catch it through digital media in some form as well. If you aren’t in the Richmond area but would like to see the show air on your CW station, call your local CW station up and request the show…the consumers always right, right?
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R: Well thank you guys for your time. I really enjoyed it. M: Aww thank you for interviewing us! We really appreciate you and the Urban Image Magazine covering this story.
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Y'all be sure to tune in to the Heart on February 15th 2014 on channel 65 CW in Richmond, VA. Our very own Deszion Nasir will be attending the premiere the weekend of February 8th and be bringing us more next month on “the Heart.”
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Fidel M. Love Patrice “Lyrical Passion” Rivers Emiaj AhDai
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Little Black Boy Blues By: Fidel M. Love
You see him walk a path his peers won’t go Scared to death of being alone but his tears won’t show So ignorant, it appears he don’t know The whole world’s against him Little Black Boy So offensive, on the defensive trying to prove he’s a man but so young They’ll always see him “Ay boy, what up son…” as a Little Black Boy Looked down on, never up to Always something for them to judge you So go to school, hear the professor in college preach 100
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Sell out or just sell his soul to the Chicago streets You see him walk a path his peers won’t go Scared to death of being alone but his fears don’t show Should be scared Ain’t the least bit prepared The whole world’s expecting you to fail Plus ya girlfriend’s expecting, can you tell? A Little Black Boy with a lil’ black boy Whose fault Can’t teach him, what you were never taught Don’t know the Quran and only a handful of scriptures Show him how to walk and maybe how to stand but understand there was never a man in the picture
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The Deepest Love by Patrice “Lyrical Passion” Rivers
How strong is your love? Is it strong enough to hold somebody’s heart? When you love hard, are you good at not letting that person fall apart? What type of love do you possess? A strong bondage of love We always put it up for a test Let’s all confess It’s not easy to love hard and not feel the returned love back Love is patient Love is kind Love isn’t jealous As a matter of fact How long does it take for you to love somebody and simply mean it? Love stands on its own two feet It’s like a brick wall Love won’t have to fit When love hurts us We fall down on our knees with tears streaming down our faces If love gonna continue to break our hearts over and over again Then there is no point to love again
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If that’s the case We meet different people and different people come into our lives for different reasons Love will vanish from your life, disappears just like the season But you have to pick yourself up and remain strong when the evilness of love strikes back The next time love walks into your life You should know how to act Love sometimes makes us weak That we get so depressed You are too blessed to be stressed Don’t feed into your love mess Sometimes we look for love in all the wrong places Trying to fill the empty spaces Stop trying to love for love! Let love find you A new love, the way it will make you feel brand new The dangers of love will make your head spin As if you are about to commit a sin The deepest love is all within All within You have been broken down Heartaches Headaches
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Can’t sleep because you are thinking about that lost love That one love The DEEPEST love As the love angels are falling from above The drops of visible love are bonded like two doves When people say they love you But leave you They never knew what true love was You forget the feeling when you are through! You still begging people to love you back so you can feel loved! You can’t beg for love! Just be patient Trying to multiply the number of people who love you and subtract the love pains like an equation The deepest love The REAL love is God himself When others have broken your heart God never left! He will ALWAYS remain in your heart ‘Til death do you part The real love is God He might not be your last love or your first love or a love whiz But whatever you are going through Whenever you need to be comforted
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God will do that without hesitating He’ll show you love when you are at your lowest and meditating When you’re lonely He’ll be there for you even in the time of need You won’t have to be a follower He wants you to take His hand and He’ll lead When the word love has given up and all you are dealing with are scrubs Just look over your shoulders and embrace the DEEPEST LOVE
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Urban Image Magazine Valentine’s Day 2014 Issue 106
Falling In Love In the Morning By: Emiaj AhDai
Am I dreaming, am I just imagining you are you for real? I am sitting up in the bed wondering if I am imagining you being in my life. I feel like someone needs to pinch me. Every time I am near you, I feel nervous. Then I am so nervous that sleep escapes me. I glance at the clock and I notice the morning will come soon. My heart races with anticipation. Tomorrow is another day. Another day where I realize you are a part of my world. This is not a mirage and I am not imagining you I can’t wait to fall in love with you in the morning The sunrise will greet me with its smile. It reminds me of yours. I see it often. I see it when something is funny. I see it even when have reached your accomplishments I watch you sleep. And you begin to stir. I can’t wait to fall in love with you in the morning. Breathing in the fresh air of the day makes me smile. Your love also keeps my heart beating. Looking over at your sleeping face I realize you are dreaming. And that award winning smile crosses your face. I wonder are you dreaming of me. I can’t wait to fall in love with you in the morning. My soul is revived every time I look into your eyes. Behind those eyes there is a story that I only have the pleasure of knowing. I know your scars and
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what makes your tick. I see beyond those into your soul I can’t wait to fall in love with you in the morning. I am going to make you a promise. Well maybe a few I promise to love you every day forever, and when forever comes I will be willing to do all over again. I promise to be there through the thick and thin, and for better or for worse. I promise to love your perfect imperfections because they are perfect to me I promise to never change you, but to just watch you grow. Because when it comes to you I wouldn’t change a thing. I promise to forever support your dreams, for they are destined to be reality. I promise to never take you for granted. I promise to be your strength when you are weak. I can’t wait to fall in love with you in the morning. You are the best part of my day, and because of you I am pushed to be a better me. Yes you did that. You gave my heart purpose. With that purpose I fell in love with you in the morning Today and every day thereafter in the morning, I plan to fall in love with you all over again and again. You wake. Good Morning Love.
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Urban Image Magazine Valentine’s Day 2014 Issue 108
A Music Review of The Worse By Jhene Aiko By: Richarh Aswanu
I regret to say that the current state of R&B is really sad right now. It's not too often that I get to hear fresh new artist on the radio. I get so sick of hearing the same ole songs over and over, listening to new talent that's not very talented. But this morning as I was getting ready for work, I heard some simple chords accompanying one of the sultriest voices I've heard in a long, long time. Sexy, but innocent. "I don't need you, I don't need you, I don't need you...," She sings at her unfaithful lover trying to convince herself more than him, before telling him "...but I want you." The song grabbed ahold of me instantly. She loves him but she doesn't mean to. Jhene Aiko sounds broken hearted and conflicted in ways that are all too familiar to anyone who has ever fallen in love with the wrong person. Torn between staying and walking away. The production is tight and simple, allowing her voice to just float effortlessly over the track. Then when she hit that Jay-Z line? "Please don't like him, he don't wife 'em, he one nights 'em", she killed it! I 108
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fell in love with her. If ya'll haven't heard it yet, go cop it, download it or whatever. Her voice is the hottest thing on the airwaves right now. I think Jhene Aiko is going to be around for a long time. I can't wait to hear what she follows up with.
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Urban Image Magazine Valentine’s Day 2014 Issue 111
Comedy Corner with Comedian Marc Howard: Deport a Motha Fucka, Will You!?!?
Well, well, well......we see there is a rich and famous white boy that can get the US to hate him. He's got to be from Canada, and hanging out with rich brash swagging disliked brother like Floyd "Money" Mayweather though. Justin Bieber? Wow, he doesn't look like he could really be taken serious. I mean when he's high I think a stiff breeze could knock him down. Some how he's done so much that Americans want him deported back the Canada Aye? I mean hockey sucks, but they still keep that shit around....don't get it. I mean he shouldn't wait for that to happen, but is hasn't murdered anyone, Now we he a threat to do that? I mean his speeding through a very wealthy gated community that resides in a city that only those who are rich can afford to live anywhere in tells you he's pissed off the right people and now we know where they live. 111
Urban Image Magazine Valentine’s Day 2014 Issue 112
If you don't know Calabasas, Ca is on the far east in what's called the San Fernando Valley of LA and directly over the west end of the hills from Malibu (You've heard of that city right, should you get the picture) So trust me it's another Beverly Hills, and it's been that for years. That's where the Kardashians live, and quite a few other Hollywood stars and moguls, and other money makers.
this is ex's home where his kids reside. So they are concerned about him not showing any respect for the fact that young children are at risk from his reckless driving. I get that, they've chased him to his home where he hides inside from the big black angry ex NFL n.....you know.
His latest escapades have apparently reached a limit with the USA, and they're mad as hell and they're not goThere are some blacks there too now ing to take it anymore!!! LOL! He appardon't worry. In fact a couple of the big ently cause $40,000 in damages to his time complainers of his speeding next door neighbors house by egging it. through the neighborhoods are none Yes the real estate here in Cali is ridicuother than a couple of ex NFL legends lous! So that prompted 12 LA County Eric Dikerson, and Keyshawn Johnson. I Sheriff's deputies to raid Beibers house mean they have kids that live either and check for...yes evidence. Let's check with them or in Dikerson's case I believe the fridge for missing eggs. I'm not mak
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ing this up people GOOGLE IT! Now that's some shit we would've said they did because he's nigga.....but apparently a Canadian white brat is equivalent, or times truly have changed.
it, but you can probably can get them to change the constitution for you and get a 3rd bid if you deport this evil teen.......DO IT!
Next blog will be some others I'd like to Seriously he deserves to be fucked with see deported.....some are US citizens and if they deport him I'm ok with it. but I want them out too.... Like I stated he hasn't murdered Now go on home anyone, but he's Justin! is really annoying like that song my daughter liked when she was 4Baby, baby, baby Oh....... So much that the petition to deport this 19 year old asshole has gotten enough signatures that the white house has to now consider this. Yes Barack this is your chance to redeem yourself for Obama-care. They hate you for 113
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ARIES You are anxious with taking on an important or aggressive role within an association or relationship. You are on the go in pursuing allies and in the forming of new partnerships. You may even find that you seem to need someone’s help in order to accomplish your objectives. Your close personal relationships are lively – full of conflicts and resolutions or reconciliations. Be aware of what you and your partner want for yourselves and what you want from the relationship. Let one another know what your needs are. TAURUS If a romance were to begin now, it is
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more possible to be with someone from a different background or educational level, or someone you meet through travel. A love interest who attracts you this month may be somebody who you previously wouldn’t consider striking, or someone whose cultural background is very different than yours. You have a taste for the unusual and the spirit to match. There could be especial understanding with foreigners and with women if you are traveling this month. You are all the more attractive and charismatic with this position, which increases your popularity.
Urban Image Magazine Valentine’s Day 2014 Issue 118
GEMINI You become very gregarious and active in your quest for pleasures. These take account – on-the-floor activities, hobbies and other creative outlets, as well as sports, parties and social dealings. You will focus on activities that will keep you in the middle-of-theroad. You’ll tend to express yourself creatively, through activities with children, romantic activities, hobbies or sports. You are more playful than usual, and especially magnetic. Depending on your circumstances, a new romance or even a series of romances is quite possible.
tive communication style. As such, discussions may become intense, or they may turn into arguments. If latter is the case, it’s likely because you are taking things very personally right now, or because you are deliberately imposing your beliefs and ideas. There might be an issue that might raise confrontations or requires compromise with someone. Extra caution is advised in driving or anything related to transportation. VIRGO This is an animated period to love and be loved! You are especially fascinated to visual forms of amusement and activities. Creative self-expression of any kind is favored at this time. You feel a little more playful now, and love matters tend to be exaggerated with a shade of excitement. That shouldn’t be a problem, as you kind of like it that way for the time being. Yet, you are not aggressive in your approach to love. Instead, you attract more if you allow yourself to be pursued this month.
CANCER You focus strongly on relationships – some good and some not so good. While there will be tremendous togetherness and warmth with close companions and loved ones, at the same time there can be rivalry bordering on open animosity with an adversary. Special attention to and from a partner is in focus, and flattery will get you everywhere if you use it wisely. At the same LIBRA time you’re also advised to slow down Your physical appearance may be the a bit and don’t get carried away in target of your efforts and you emotions or excitement. LEO You may be especially busy serving responsibilities and communicating with others. You may also tend to have a more pushy, self-centered or provoca118
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may set out to improve or change your style/approach. In fact, you may be somewhat aggressive and have a short temper. Avoid being over-ambitious. Take charge of your life, but don’t bully others in the progression! This is an excellent phase for assertiveness and physical liveliness. Love affairs may also be stepped up. On the odd circumstance when an accident occurs, it is more likely to involve the head or face. SCORPIO You realize that what matters is the closeness of bonds and ties with those you love. Friends are always important to you, and more so now. You are, therefore, not just willing but eager to maintain friendships and acquaintances. Essentially, you are quite companionable now. You enjoy talking about what interests you, and you find great value in the exchange of ideas. Sometimes this phase brings benefits/ pleasure through siblings, communications, or short trips.
be neglected, or the necessary inputs, data and information for work-related projects, plans or activities. No carelessness of any kind to be made if you want to achieve your goals. You are more curious and alert than usual, and you could be quite busy with errands, paperwork, phone calls, and light socializing. Much energy is expended in understanding and adapting to your immediate environment. Siblings, neighbors, close relatives, friends, and co-workers may play a more important role than usual in your life.
CAPRICORN Some of you are likely to fall in love with yourself. This is not a weird thing, in fact, it will help in boosting your own self esteem. This is a time when you naturally let loose your softer, receptive side. Romantic matters, as well as pleasure-seeking activities, come to the fore now. You are more likely to pay closer attention to your physical appearance and mannerisms, aiming to improve and enhance your attracSAGITTARIUS tiveness. You’ll learn that it actually You still need to learn to relate better pays off to trust yourself, forgive yourwith others, but now it’s more on the self and be truthful to yourself. Les intimate and personal level – the exchange of ideas, innermost thoughts, personal beliefs rather than the emotions. Family ties, linkages of loving and caring now become sharing. Vital correspondence and contacts must not
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sons learned now will help you project yourself confidently to the world. AQUARIUS Personal and social contacts may be mysterious, and there can be secret love affairs, or at least very private love feelings and longings. Shyness can lead to some seclusion or romantic frustration. Attention to subconscious romantic and sexual dreams and desires comes to the forefront. Perhaps it allows you to play out certain fantasies that you are unable to play out consciously; when your whole being is completely aware of the consequenc-
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es. Try to sustain a balance between inner and outer world. PISCES An emotionally moving phase sets in. You may have a hard time defining your actions and your objectives, perhaps for the short term losing view of actuality and rationale. Some of you might find themselves being misled by others or by situations; that’s because of your own desire for a more glamorous life or a tendency to take shortcuts.
Urban Image Magazine Valentine’s Day 2014 Issue 121
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Urban Image Magazine Valentine’s Day 2014 Issue 122
The Urban Altar “Who’s Yo’ Daddy?”
When you get into a relationship with someone and they already have children, it becomes a package deal. In order to have a relationship with that person, you must now have a relationship with their children as well (Just stay with me here for a minute…I promise you this thing is going to go somewhere). For example, if I wanted to get into a relationship with your father, I would have to have a relationship with you. It would be pleasing to your father, and even help him and me to have a better relationship, if my relationship with you was a good and cordial one. Wouldn’t you agree?
about time we all come to realize that if we claim to be the children of God, the one and only almighty Father in Heaven, then in order to truly have a relationship with Him, we need to also have a relationship with one another. Like I said before; it’s a package deal. You want a relationship with my daddy? Then you have to have a relationship with me whether you like it or not. And in order for our relationship to be fruitful, we must be able to communicate with one another.
Ephesians 4:25 says, “Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbor: for we are members one Well, then I have just one question for of another.” Here the Apostle Paul is you: “Who’s yo’ daddy?” I’m not talk- suggesting that we be truthful with one ing about in the biological sense. I’m another in our communications. But he talking about the real creator of all men- also says that we should be “kind to one the Father of all Fathers. The one who another, tenderhearted, forgiving one is never delinquent on child support. another.” Basically, he’s asking us to do The one that shows up at every gradua- away with that “tell it like it is” mentalition, function and event. I think it’s ty and replace it with “tell it like it 122
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is in a Christ-like manner.” For example, I once had an agent say to me, “So your books hit the bestseller’s list a couple of times-so what; that doesn’t really make you a bestselling author. A real bestselling author remains on the list consecutively month-after-month.” Needless to say, I terminated the agent who then went on to say, “I never made any real money off of agenting you anyway.” Granted, this very well may have been the truth, and it may have been how this person truly felt, but there had to have been a more diplomatic way of communicating this. Communication is a double edged sword when it comes to relationships because they are manifested and can both grow, or become severed based on how we communicate with one another. If we can’t even communicate with one another, then how can we ever expect to have relationship? Here it is only a month into 2014, which is supposed to be the year of double completion; the year when all the promises God made to us in our lives are supposed to come into fruition double fold; the year of reversal-when the last shall be the first and the first shall be the last. 123
Yet I have never witnessed so much hatred and separation within the literary community. I had big hopes that folks would be so caught up in the blessings that were pouring down in their own lives, that they wouldn’t have time to pay attention nor be affected by what the next person was saying or doing. Not so. Perhaps I should have prayed for such a miracle instead of simply hoped for it, because it seems like weekly I receive some email or phone call with one person talking about another. I wonder what would happen if just for once a person who has a beef or issue with another person, instead of calling up other people or Facebook blasting their situation, would just pick up the phone or message that person directly. Imagine what could be resolved and the relationships that could possibly be formed. Lack of communication is usually the root of most problems. And in today’s society, communication, the manner of which it’s done, is the cause of failed relationships. A lot of times we allow our flesh to get in the way of our judgment when we come up against a situation involving someone who we think either
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said or did something to harm us. Next thing we know, we’ve reacted in a manner that we might later regret. The Bible says that before a man builds a house he counts the cost. Think things through before acting on a situation. Think things through before you allow anger to take over your flesh and you do or say something that you might wish you hadn’t or may come back to haunt you. Spend time with God to see what He wants you to do. Sometimes He doesn’t want you to do anything. Sometimes-most of the times-He’s already got the situation in His hands. So in the meantime, while you are waiting to hear back from God, move forward into the more positive things in your life. I know that in the meantime can be a “mean time”, but we have to trust in our Father to work out our situations.
don’t want to have a relationship with you. But know that there is a big blessing on the other side of the big battle because we serve a big God and He has big things for us. Forgive me if this article was more on the preachy side and less on the entertaining side, but I felt it was time to be about our Father’s business and recognize and achieve what He wants for us and not be so focused on what we want for ourselves. He wants a relationship with each of us; with each of His children. But it would also please Him to know that we are mature, loving and kind enough to have a relationship with each other. Never mind that we all got different baby mommas. We all got the same daddy. We all serve the same Father. I know who mine is…who’s yours?
This is E.N. Joy sounding off and remindSometimes we mess things up in our ing you to love each other and not judge lives because we let people frustrate us. each other, for even sinners have souls. We then have to deal with the guilt of If you have any comments regarding this our actions while the other person has article or any of my past Urban Altar colgone on their merry way. I know first umns, please feel free to visit me at hand that often it can seem like a big www.enjoywrites.com. battle in itself just to turn the other cheek and be kind and have a relationship with everybody, even those who 124
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SEXUAL EXPRESSIONS with Deszion
HIM:I got an injury while I was in Iraq. My doctor said my sperm count was 0. Nada. Zilch. I love my woman, but she's pregnant. I've been through this 3 times before her. I wasn't the father. I want to trust her, but what else am I supposed to think?! I can't have children!
HER: I know what he thinks. I know bout his past. But I've been faithful to him. He's always around me. Now he wants a blood test, he calls me all kinds of sluts, whores, he's controlling, breaks into my phone...I really just want to break it 126
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humiliating in a sense, but you have Welllll, somebody's got a bit of a situ- it's to look at it from his point of view. Imation, don't we? “We,” meaning “Ya'll,” of course. Ya'll are both buggin'. Don't roll your eyes, honey, you're tripping, too. Let me explain before you get an attitude with me. First, let me speak to you, my dude. I get it. I read all of that about the doctor and medical terminology and blah blah blah. Got it. You DO know that doctors are wrong at times, right? What was proved to you before was that your other girls were whores. You DO understand that, right? #thinkaboutit. Now, while it's possible that she cheated, let's look at the possibility that she didn't. What if...what IF... that's your miracle child? Maybe God didn't want you having kids with Superskank and her sidekick Thotzilla? Anything is possible. You came back from Iraq alive, right? That in itself was a blessing, so why isn't it possible this is one as well? Don't reject this child and you may have to realize that you turned away what may be your only chance at being a father later. But let me tell you something. Controlling and belittling her isn't going to fix jack squat, either. If she DID cheat, it was already done. You going all gorilla pimp ain't gonna stop it. If that's indeed what she's doing. If... NOW. On to you, Miss Lady. I get where you're coming from. You say you're innocent. You feel insulted. Betrayed for your faithfulness. You're paying for the sins of his other past whores. Well...yeah. But you're also making it worse. You're acting like you have something to hide, babes. I know 127
agine what kind of hell he had to go through not once, but twice, being told he was going to be a father after a doctor told him he'd NEVER EVA EVA have kids, finding out he had BEAT that prediction...only to be told it was all a lie. He'd been betrayed...it was all a fairytale with an unhappy ending. Wouldn't you be a little jaded? I know you don't like it, but there is a SIMPLE fix: GET THE DAMN BLOOD TEST. Yeah, I know I know. But just do it. If you're not hiding nothing, it'll come out fine. If you've given him NO OTHER REASON TO SUSPECT YOU <~~~ (read) then after the test comes back you can work on the trust issues, but cut him some slack. If he still acts controlling, you gotta bigger issue on your hands. But he'll probably simmer down. But I promise you, if you don't, this will only get worse. Love is about compromise and accepting that the one you love ain't perfect. Both of you are tense. Take the steps to ensure that you have your miracle baby. That child was entrusted to you for a reason. Find the truth. Find your love again. Find your peace. <3 Deszion
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Urban Image Magazine Valentine’s Day 2014 Issue 129
Independence: Submission and Subordination By: Angela Williams
The subject of the independent woman is quite boring to me. My mother always said that if you have to tell someone you're independent, then you're probably not. My mother was independent. She was strong, confident, intelligent and worked outside the home. When she came home she had no problem submitting to my father. Yeppers, I said the "s" word... submitting! (I think some women just called me some not nice names.) I know for some the thought of submitting causes them to cringe. And others question how can a woman be independent, yet submit to someone. Very good question.
your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother A lot of people recite Ephesians 5:22-33 and be united to his wife, and the two --22 Wives, submit yourselves to your will become one flesh.”32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the Christ and the church. 33 However, wife as Christ is the head of the church, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so respect her husband... but I don't quite also wives should submit to their hus- think they understand it. I freely admit bands in everything.25 Husbands, love 129
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that as a single woman I didn't really understand. I hear men say that they want a submissive woman. They want a woman who knows her place. One that doesn't talk back and does as she's told. One that recognizes him as the head of the household. I often questioned if they wanted someone who was submissive or someone who was subordinate. I was a bit leery of being submissive because what most described did not fit what the scripture said. I equated submission with being less than. This isn't true. The definition of submission is to yield or surrender oneself to the will or authority of another. The definition of subordinate is someone that is considered inferior and subservient. Growing up I saw both.
less and she should be grateful he married her. She worked every day and he made her check-in at certain times throughout the day. If she was late for a check-in he accused her of cheating and she was punished when she got home. Subordination is controlling, abusive and sometimes deadly. When she left him he was angry. In his mind, since he had authority over her, then he was justified in doing whatever he wanted to her. His reasoning was if he couldn't have her, then no one would. He attempted to kill her. He missed her, but he shot and killed her sister who tried to protect her.
Submission is willingly surrendering authority. That's what my mother did to my father. My father was the head of the household and he set the rules. His rules were simple: 1) my mother was a Subordination is demeaning in a relationship. Actually seeing it in action can queen and was treated as such, 2) my sister and I were queens in training and a make person want to remain single. My cousin and his wife were my visual we would carry ourselves with dignity and respect , 3) he did what was necesfor the subordinate relationship. His idea of being the head of his household sary to take care of his family and 4) each and every day we would be shown was to control everything his wife did and everything his children did. He led we were loved in words and deeds. My by intimidation and fear. On a daily ba- mother treated my father with love and sis he let her know that she was worth- respect. She had his back and he never 130
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doubted it. My father was a strong, intelligent, courageous man who had no problem asking my mother for her thoughts on any problem. He consulted her because he valued her opinion. He always said my mother knew her place..... beside him.
interdependence. She taught me that it takes a strong woman to be independent, but it takes a stronger woman to depend on and trust her mate while, at the same time, letting him know he can depend on and trust her. My mother taught me to clothe my independence By most standards, I am an independent with gentleness and support when woman. I take care of myself and my re- needed. She, like my father, taught me that not all men were deserving of my sponsibilities. When the discussion of trust and support. independence comes up I laugh because most assume I learned to be inde- I have learned that truly independent pendent from my mother. I learned my women don't go around shouting about independence from my father. Growing their independence. They go about up he always told me I needed to learn their business and taking care of their how to do things for myself. He said the responsibilities without any fanfare. If a reason was simple... he wasn't going to problem arises that they can't handle always be there to take care of me. He they are strong enough to ask for help. didn't want me to be dependent on any In the midst of deciding if you can subman who didn't have my best interest at mit to someone get the definition clear heart. (Translation: Those who are will- of what you both expect from submising to help as long as they get somesion. Is it truly submission or subordinathing in return.) I know what I want and tion in disguise? Submission can bring I do go after it because that's what I was unity and strength. Subordination netaught. My father also taught me that gates your power. Know the difference. the right man for me would help enThe choice is always yours. hance and expand my goals and not curtail them. While my father was teaching me independence my mother was teaching me 131
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Empathy By: Larrod Evans
Visualize a father embracing his only son one last time before being deployed overseas or a single mother raising two children while their father serves a prison sentence. Better yet, picture a teenage girl depending on drugs and seclusion to cope with the abuse she's suffering from at home. These are the people that we encounter on daily basis in society. They are the cashiers who ring up our merchandise, the technicians who draw our blood, the waiters who take our orders, our coworkers and bosses at our respective work environments. We as human beings must take into consideration that our fellow citizens are suffering from diseases, heartaches, depression stress, abuse, and other factors that life has to offer. On top of that, our level of knowledge, educational background, cultural differences and upbringing play a key role as well. So often, we're quick to pass judgments and make assumptions based on our own doubts, selfishness and ignorance. With this in mind, the next time that you're disrespected, misunderstood or frowned upon; remember, we're all dealing with certain issues and cut from a different cloth. Most of the time, we're just scapegoats anyway, sort of like a
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dumpsite for another man's trash. This is specifically why we shouldn't take these petty arguments and confrontations personal and get all bent out of shape. We have all been on both sides of the spectrum at one time or another. Life can be tough at times, even somewhat unbearable. However, its during these tough times that we must be humble, open-minded and passionate listeners and take advantage of the moment to show our true character. I agree, some people are just plain old evil. But, that's only a spirit that can be defeated, and it may be meant for you to initiate war. So today, look within yourself and make a commitment to that unknown person that is going to steal your parking spot, get your order wrong, tell you how to raise your kids or that guy with the full cart in the "ten items or less" line; take a step back, take a deep breath and show your brother or sister some empathy.
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I love her but I didn’t want a ready- kids again? It's time for some self made family. -evaluation because now you have Q. I’ve been with my girlfriend for al- to decide which is stronger, your most 2 years, she has two kids but their love for your girlfriend or your father has full custody of them. Now the father is sick and the kids are mov- wish to remain in a childless relationship. Only you know the aning in with us. What do I do? A.Wait…you’re dating a woman
swer to that. Children are not to
with kids but aren’t prepared for be taken lightly, they are a full a readymade family? Whether the time commitment and responsibilkids lived with her or not she is
ity so figure it out before the
a mom and you have known that children have time to get atfor 2 years. I know it's one thing tached to you. when kids are only visiting on weekends and holidays but did it
He’s into what????
Q. O.k. I thought I was pretty open but my boyfriend asked me could he worever occur to you that life ship my feet. That’s so different than doesn’t stay anything we’ve done. He says it’s a normal thing and I shouldn’t mind but The same and at some point she might end up with her it’s weird to me. Should I try it?
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A.All things were weird at once.
bad thing. I think it’s the con-
Imagine the first person to dream text and frequency that makes it up fellatio and cunnilingus I’m sure their partner thought they were odd too. Believe it or not, foot fetishes have become extremely popular lately and is more common than you would
an issue. Let's be real, every woman your man talk to can’t be ugly. So realistically he chatting with sexy women will happen at some point. Is he chatting on sex sites,
think. I say try it out, it’s your dating sites or cam girl sites? If feet, how harmful could it be. If so, they are signs of danger. Is
you don’t enjoy it, be honest, he he chatting with the same woman can’t say you weren’t willing to daily? Does he stop chatting in try. Plus, in the future when you your presence? Ask yourself want to try something new, you will have a willing open partner who remembers when you tried for them.
these questions and if you’re being over sensitive because he is communicating with women who are sexy, yet platonic or do you
Emotional cheating is cheating.
believe he is having actual sex or
Q. I say online chatting with sexy women is cheating my boyfriend says he’s just being social. Am I wrong to complain?
intimate chats with these wom-
A.I’d say yes and no, we live in a world where social networking is all the rage. We have connected to strangers throughout the world and it’s not necessarily a
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en. If either way it makes you wholly uncomfortable then tell him that. Not that you’re angry about his actions, but how his actions make you feel. If he is unwilling to alter his behavior to not hurt you, then you have a whole other set of problems.
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It's Valentine's Day! I know all you people out there are setting up your dates for tonight so D Queen wanted to take some time out to touch base on you about contraceptives. Yes protection. I know when thinking about becoming intimate that is usually the last thing on a person's mind but it should be the first. The last time I came to you I shared some alarming statistics about sexually transmitted infections (diseases). Guess how they're spread? By one irresponsible act of sex. That one single act can affect you for the rest of your life and in some cases could just end your life. So before you get all hot and heated please review my info on contraception.
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Barrier Condoms (Protect from STI's and Pregnancy) Female Condoms(Protect from STI's and Pregnancy) Dental Dams(Protect from STI's during oral sex) Diaphrams(Protect from Pregnancy) Birth Control Sponge(Protect from Pregnancy) Cervical Cap(Protect from Pregnancy) IUD(Protect from Pregnancy)
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Hormonal (ALL only protect from pregnancy) Birth Control Pills Injection Implants IUDs Nuva Ring Patch
Other Methods Abstinence (100% Fool Proof) Morning After Pill (Alternative to Pregnancy) Outtercourse (100% Fool Proof) Spermicides (Protect from Pregnancy) Sterilization (Protect from Pregnancy) Withdrawal ( Ineffective from prevention of Pregnancy and Spread of STI"S) Abortion (Alternative to Pregnancy) Adoption ( Alternative to Abortion)
So to quote our friends at BET Love yourself enough this Valentine’s Day to “Wrap It Up!”
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From Behind the Fence By: Richarh Aswanu
I'm going to start this article off with a startling "I straddle the fence on that one. Part of me confession. Literally, about a minute ago, I realand part of me says no. Because, they have p ized that I am institutionalized. Lol! One of the place that are rehabilitative, that doesn't nec homies called me out on it. I just referred to my mean every offender is able to get into those grams." cell as "the crib". Dude Harry Gornick 46, down 11 years makes some pretty good So We asked the questaffy out of pre- tion...Do you believe the Desweetened Kool-Aid and partment of Corrections really creamer. I'm not exactly aims to rehabilitate offenders? sure how you make it. But basically, you put the Kool-Aid and creamer in a bowl with a little water and put it in the microwave. Stir it, cut it and wrap it up "No, I don't think they do. It's a big indusin little pieces of a brand new clear plastic try, it's a cover up to mask society, to make trash bag. But anyway, he sold me a piece it look like they're rehabilitating us." Terry Wayne Grey, 56 down for 22 years for a Ramen Noodle and I told him, "Stop by the crib and get your money." Then, he laughed. He was like "Damn, you really live here, huh?" Then, I responded, " Yeah, I sleep here, I eat here, I s#@t here, and I shower here." And it's really sad ya'll, because no matter how hard I try to fight it and say this ain't my home; I've been at this facility for 6 1/2 years and if you send me a letter, it's coming to 5124 W. Reformatory Rd. Pendleton, Indiana 46064, 12A-4A. (For those of you who don't know, that's the twelfth
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cell, top bunk on the fourth range of A my surf board. Hell, it's been 8 1/2 years unit.) It's where I live. I'm sitting here since I've had sex. (That's a whole looking at my 13 inch color T.V. with re- 'nother article.) mote writing this article while BeyoncĂŠ "No I really don't, because everything they do only encourages sings about being drunk and in love on anti-social behavior" the radio. "Surf board, surf board." Roger Lynn 58, down for 38 years That's my favorite part. I wish she'd ride
says yes programs in cessarily e pro-
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But anyway, let's move on to the real purpose of this article. From what I've been hearing, there has been an ongoing discussion out there in the free world about what really goes on in the prison system and some of the issues we face behind bars. One thing I'm going to say right of the bat is rehabilitation is a joke! It's only a myth that is sold to the taxpayers for approximately 74 billion dollars a year. That's how much the government claims the U.S. citizens pay every year to house the 2,266,800 people incarcerated in Monaye ModelType state and federal prisons Mitchell : No across the country. Personally, I believe 74 billion is an inflated number used to cover the fact that this country actually benefits from incarceration. Most of society buys into "rehabilitation." they believe the Department of Corrections tries to change offenders thought process, behavior patterns and prepares us for society. No! What they do is offer us programs that make us model inmates, not model citizens. They offer us programs that tame us and make us more corrigible while confined inside their walls. But, they do not prepare us for the challenges and pitfalls we face on the other side. They give us a false sense of security. I'm speaking from experience. We walk through the gates, our heads held high with our little folder filled with certifi148
cates feeling like we have some sort of edge to enter the workforce. We're brainwashed. We're constantly told to pay our debt to society and go home to a new life. But here's what happens; potential employers
don't care that we've done our time and they don't care about the certificates or degrees we've earned in prison. Once we check "yes" when asked if we've ever been convicted of a felony, doors slam shut in our faces. The department of Corrections don't prepare us for the
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disappointment and let downs we experience as a result of being turned down over and over. Everybody has
prison within "I believe they have programs in place and it's three years up to us to take the programs. I've completed 13 programs and I know what they have done of our refor my life" lease. 67 Joseph Zurzolo 51, down for 16 years percent! Let's look at that number for a second. Any other "company" who develops a system with a 67% failure rate would make some major adjustments. The question is; is a 67% recidivism rate looked at by legislature and the Department of Corrections as a failure rate or is it viewed as a success???
This is where I debate with my fellow inmates on an almost daily basis. The common consensus is that the D.O.C is filled with a bunch of incompetent nincompoops who can't seem to figure out a solution to the problem. I beg to differ. The legislation and the D.O.C is comprised of highly intelligent, college educated people who lead successtheir own threshold. After a while, dis- ful lives. They are far from stupid. They couragement, feelings of inadequacy know exactly what's going on and the and depression sets in and we resort to system is designed for us to "re-offend." crime to earn a living. That's what hap- They always throw this number (74 pened to me and the rest of the 67% of convicted felons who end up back in 149
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billion) of how much inwere 84,000 parole and probation officcarceration cost ers employed nationwide. According Vanney-Vanessa Thompson They the nation. to the U.S. Department of Labor, cage them like animals. So, they fight each other like caged animals. If only But, they this field was projected to inthe brothers & sisters would learn to never tell crease faster than the average act like the humans their parents birth, this system will break itself. you how through 2012. In 2002, there That is the reasoning for them to much is were 840,000 law enforcement mistreat the inmates profited from it. agents with the same projections through 2012, and 476,000 correctionLet me paint a picture real quick, let's fantasize for a minute. All of al officers with the same expectations for growth. That's 1.4 million jobs that the law abiding citizens are out in the free world and the D.O.C has rehabilitat- would immediately end without any crime. Not to mention the 27,000 judges ed and released all of its prisoners. There is no more crime, everyone is liv- and magistrates in the U.S. and the ing happily right? Wrong. In 2002 there 675,000 lawyers. I didn't include them
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into the calculations because I couldn't find a source that broke down how many of those judges and lawyers were involved in the criminal justice system. And we can't forget Senator Bob Barker and his corporation that makes huge profits supplying the nation's facilities with our stylish jumpsuits, uniforms and canvas shoes. As well as hygiene items such as toothpaste, razors, soaps, deodorants and etcetera. Even though he's not the Bob Barker from the infamous game show, I guess "the price is right."
imagine all the peo- "Pish hell no...why do that? It's less ple money for them." they em- William T. Phillips Jr., 41 down for 16 ploy. years Think of all the money that would be lost if crime was eliminated or reduced at a drastic rate. Now, with all that information ask yourself; does the Department of Corrections really aim to rehabilitate its offenders? When the automotive and industrial industries plummeted and crushed our country financially, it was the prison inThink about how many people he dustry that kept alot of small towns employs. And what about the contrac- across America afloat. Ask any correctional officer why he or she works in cortors who build the jails and prisons to rections and I bet one of the top 3 anthe foodservice industry such as Aramark who supplies the fine cuisine we swers is going to be "we never get laid off." Crime is a multi-billion dollar induseat. Oh, and commissary. Everybody from hair care companies like Softee to try. So believe me, they keep the doors revolving. It's not a coincidence, it's a reKoss Audio, to the Murachin sult of years of tactical planning on the Corporation who Margo behalf of legislators, the D.O.C. and big makes Ramen Waleed Absolutel y not. corporations like Unicor who grosses noodles. All of 765 million dollars a year off of inmate these and labor. They're experts at using the media many others profit from incarceration. They ship their to strike fear in America. They always products in clear packaging to the insti- highlight some idiot who committed a violent crime while on some kind of eartutions. Can't forget about the Keefe ly release program to justify being hard Group who distributes the goods. Just 151
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on crime. Then soon as everyone feels safe, they'll occasionally shine a spotlight on some hard working ex-offender to give the impression their system is truly working. It's all business...
habilitate ourselves. Take this article as a wakeup call. I know what's waiting for me on the other side of the fence. That' why I do what I'm doing now with this magazine and GangstaLit publications. I understand that nobody is going Now with all that said, by no to give me anything that I have to pave means am I saying inmates across the my own way. And see, this is how they country should just sit back and rely on get you. "Wait until you get out, wait the D.O.C to rehabilitate us. Hell naw! until you get out." Well brothers and It's not going to happen. We have to re- sisters, when you get out is too late.
Anytime you have to beg another man to set you free, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll never be free. Freedom is something you have to do for yourself. ~ Malcom X
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Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Love? Marlon Coleman
I am excited as well as extremely honored at the opportunity that my guy Richarh Aswanu has blessed me with. Not only am I a fan of the magazine and his other endeavors, but I consider my brother a friend. So I take this opportunity to share my thoughts with a humble and sincere heart. How often do we take "love" for granted, L-O-V-E, what a word! It's small, possessing a mere four letters, however, it's filled to the brim with every imaginable feeling. There are many words and languages that have multifaceted concepts of love. Most people can relate to the three most common words that love derives from such as, Agape, Philia, and Eros. Agape describes that divine, Philia describes brother/sister kind of love... also were Philadelphia comes from (the city of brotherly love), and then the word Eros (from which we get the word erotic from) which describes the intimate love shared between a man and a 154
woman. Why is it that we use love so freely? We just toss it around like nothing, when love is truly an intimidating feeling to describe accurately. It is limiting at best to describe the abstract feeling of the heart, but to have on word to describe all the types and levels of feelings, a word that means different thing to different people-well, we often fail to describe the variety of the intensity of the intoxicating impact of the love feeling. Love is to life what a scent is to a rose. It is the spice of life, and it adorns life as clouds decorate the skies. Many women have tasted the nectar of romance. Many men have sways beneath the influence of the memory of a special moment shared with that special person. Even the aged see youth rekindled in the emblazoned moments of affection and the displayed admission of concern, from the cooing sound of a contented baby, to the calm
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breathing of an aged grandmother, there is the constant need for appreciation of affections that affect the ordinary and transform the mediocre. Yes! Love is the magic elixir of the soul. It is the common denominator, something we all need regardless of our varied perspectives or vicissitudes (up and downs) of life. Whether love is communicated through a soft touch or a moistened eye... it is the message that we all need! The method is immaterial in comparison the magnitude of the message itself.
one looking for the assurance that ultimately must come from within.
The New Year is still new. Many people have made New Year's resolutions only to have broken them already. This is a subtle word of advice from someone who is speaking from experience... We have to learn selfhonesty, because we unconsciously look around for that which we must find inside of ourselves. We saddle our relationships down with undue weight and held our partners responsible. But what it boils down to is we expect too There is no drug that can compare much from others, and nothing for/ with the intense passionate feeling from ourselves. that are a flame when the heart is in The greatest perception is when love! (Trust me, I Know! Love is what the heart can look into the mirror and causes the senses to heighten. It is love smile at the image that's reflected that causes the heart to pump honey to therein. It's the grace that enables us the soul, and sedation to the mind. It is to wink at ourselves and appreciate our the sweet taste of the honeycomb that own gifts. It is a healthy mind that can satisfies the taste buds of the soul. celebrate itself. Then we can determine Without love life tastes bland, and suc- whether we are loving other because cess is empty. As we embrace this Val- they're lovable, or because we're so entine's day, 2014... Are you in love, famished for love that we settle for anwith others or are you in love with the yone or anything that gives to us idea of being in love? Don't be one of what we should give to ourselves. the many women, and men as well, who have turned to the arms of some155
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