Urban Image Magazine November 2013 Issue by Urban Image Magazine

Meet our Staff...pg10 Ask Emiaj...pg16 Deszion’s Star Design...pg20 Sexual Expression with Deszion...pg 30 Natural Distinguishing the Myths...pg 32 Poetic Justice Column...pg 38 An Interview with Dr. Wendy Walsh...pg 52 Social Intercourse with Sexy Sapphire...pg 66 Life After Marriage...pg 74 Bipolar Disorder & African Americans...pg 83 Introducing G.P.A….pg94 A Look Into the Mother Land...pg 98 I wish You Were Here...pg 100 Weight Loss is the World Obsessed with Being Thin?...pg 111 NBA 2013-14: Season and Ready...pg 120 Charles Mattocks : Healthy Life and Healthy Diet...pg 126 Comedy Corner: Arsenio Hall’s Comeback...pg 134 Warning: Single Friend Giving Advice...pg138

What’s up Y’all, So, I was asked to provide the editorial this month . Kinda floored me, but ok so here I go. First off, I’d like to thank each and everyone of you who stop by our page and check out our magazine every month. If it’s your first time, please don’t make it your last. At Urban Image, it is our every attempt to provide you all with thought provoking , educational, and stimulation topics that are relevant to urban communities. We also pride ourselves in being a stage for those who need a platform to catapult them to a new height of success. We have a great team that work endlessly to bring you all the articles and blogs that you read on our pages. For that I must take the time to give a big ole Thank You shout out to our team. More especially my team: Nikki, ,Jeff, Emiaj, Nhea and Chantal. I truly appreciate the love and support you guys show me on an everyday basis. To our Boss Man, thank you so much for entrusting me with the opportunity to take Urban Image to a new level of the game. Keep pushin cause I’m a keep goin, even when you get on my last nerve! ;} Ok so now that I got all that out the way...This months issue...This month’s issue takes on a wholistic approach to

health and well being. Featured in this issue you will find an indepth interview with Dr. Wendy Walsh a world renowned psychiatrist who specializes on family and relationships. The “Poor Chef” Charles Mattocks stopped by to education on prevention and management of Diabetes. Talia discusses the “Natural Hair Movement” that is crazing the nation. Emiaj takes on an adventure to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico and Deszion shares with us the reality of Bipolar Disorder. And that’s just a few...We also introduce G.P.A. the winner of UIM’s September Talent Search. I worked really hard this month to give you all a beautiful layout, so I hope you enjoy. Please let us know how we’re doing and if there is any thing that you’d like to see by emailing us at: info@urbanimagemagazine.com Also join us on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/ urban.image.52 If you are interested in becoming part of our team or want to advertise on our pages you can contact us at the above email address well. Thanks again! Peace and Love, Denetra Key President Urban Image Magazine

Our contributors:

Publisher: Ă&#x201E;r s

Media Group

CEO & Editor-in-Chief: Richarh Aswanu President: Denetra Key Vice President: Internet, Web Design & Technical Support: Jeff McCollum Vice President & Editorial: E. AhDai Assistant Vice President: Taylor Danes CFO: Richard Tyson & Damika Smith

My name is Richarh Aswanu AKA Daddy Rich. I am the CEO and founder here at Urban Image Magazine and GangstatLit. Writing is not a phase in my life, it defines who I am. I’m a man on a mission. I want my freedom! This is why I write! I have been locked down for 8 years but have published 3 books thus far. I have my own style that separates me from other authors. I created Urban Image to serve as a publication you can be proud of. It is our aim to dissolve the negative stereotypes associated with the “Urban Community”. We will inform, educate, entertain and inspire our readers. In addition to providing you with thought provoking content, Urban Image Magazine will showcase talents who haven’t had the opportunity to reach mainstream media outlets. Urban Image Magazine was founded as a life changing movement for all that are involved in our mission. We are a stage for those without a platform to have a spotlight. Published to be accessible online, this magazine is designed to serve as a catalyst to success, a place where you can network with like-minded people who are in pursuit of their dreams.

Hello, my name is Denetra “Queen GangstaLit” Key or better known as D Queen. I am the president here at Urban Image. I am a mother of three and also a 15 year nurse by profession. I also am our magazine layout designer… so I hope you enjoy my art. There are some topics that arise in life that strike a cord with me and I will comment on those issues. My articles and blogs are to shed light on issues that are dear to my heart! I apologize in advance if I offend. But my pieces are based on my opinion. Our opinions reflect that we 10

are individual children of God. One promise I can make is that I will report on the topics of my choice in as accurate fashion as I can. I welcome you to leave your comments good or bad in regards to work. I actually appreciate it! Your views give me insight. Thank you for visiting our page. While your here please take the time to browse around and look at our mag. It's gorgeous. I did the layout myself and am quite proud of it! Thanks again and God Bless!

EmiajAhdai is from Greensboro, North Carolina. She is our Fashion and Arts

Blogger, ourManaging Editor and recently promoted to Vice President. She is currently working on her first novel, and is a contributorto LAID: Young Peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Experienceswith sex in an easy access cul-

ture. She brings us a unique look on love and relationships through her Single and Ready to Mingle blog and hercolumn Ask Emiaj. This littlewomanwears a lot of hats but she has a big heart. You would neverbelieverthat she started out just bloggingwith us in her spare time. She believes in hard work and dedicationwill pay off in the end. Look for her name among the stars.

Talia Rice has a personal blog, diamondpublicationz.wordpress.com where she talks about everything involving writing and sprinkles in her own work too. She freelances for Fashion At Large and is a contributing blogger for Urban Image Magazine. Without Consent is the psychological thriller she has finished and editing. Currently she is writing a novel involving human trafficking called Dear Daddy. Future works include a sex anthology, a women's guide for getting back to the basics of their true self and a how-to on reigniting your passion for writing with a twist. Connect with her on Twitter, Facebook, or read her works on Scribd.com. 12

KIMBERLEY R. JASPER was raised in Jamaica Queens, New York and still describes herself as a true New Yorker through and through despite currently residing in Humble, Texas with her family.

After self-

publishing her first novel, she is now fulfilling her purpose and passion as a writer.

From horror fic-

tion with a mystical twist to erotic thrillers, this author can do it all with well -seasoned finesse.

Comedian Marc Howard has preformed stand up comedy for over 20 years. Originally started in his home town of Washington DC, and won a big competition in the area Coors Light Super Talent Showcase in his 1st 2 years. He later moved to New York City to test his talents and grow as a comic, he performed at the Apollo, and the variety show Uptown Comedy Club in Harlem as well. A year later Marc took his talents to the Pacific and moved to Los Angeles in 93. Since then he's been a veteran of BET's Comic View, HBO Def Comedy Jam, & Comedy Spot on TVOne. Been seen on Martin, in feature film Tears Of A Clown starring Don DC Curry. Marc has also done voice over work on a the It's Your World that was featured for years on Tom Joyner Morning Show. He has performed across the globe doing comedy clubs, colleges, and theaters. He has performed for our military local and abroad. Areas such as Kosovo, Iraq, and Afganistan. Now he's adding writing to his resume, along with stage plays, and commercial work.

Angela Williams is just now beginning to explore the possibilities opened to her. She is an avid reader who sometimes lets her imagination run wild. A lover of animals she shares living space with two dogs and a cantankerous cat. No stranger to being told what canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be done she tries to empower those around her. She believes that youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re never late for your dream, you always arrive right on time. At the present time she is residing in Chesapeake, VA and working on a book of poetry.

Dear Emiaj, I love reading your work. Thank you for being open and honest with your readers. I am reaching out to you because I am a woman and I have a side piece. I have been cheating on my boyfriend for about a year now. I still love him but I have fallen out of love with him. I met a guy about a year ago and he is everything that I want. He knows my situation but lately he has been wanting more of my time. I am willing to give it but I don’t know how to leave my current situation. I am really interested in him. Only one of my friends knows about him and has even met him. She keeps asking me why I am staying with the other. I guess it is the history we have. I have been with him for the last six years. Yes we have had problems but never like this. Emiaj please help me… Cheating and Confused Dear Cheating and Confused,

to this. I don’t condone cheating at any point. I would much rather someone breaks up with me before cheating on me. I understand that you love the man you are with, but not in love with him. You can love him and not be with him as well. Love him enough to let him and go and not hurt him. How would you feel if he was doing this to you? I am sure you would be hurt and mad and want to blame the other chick. You are grown and I don’t have to tell you are wrong.

Thank you so much for the love and support. Knowing that you read my work is humbling. Now my sister you Now you said that your side piece is know already what I am going to say showing you the attention that you 16

rough instead talking it out and fixing it. That is my opinion. Just look at how this situation worked. You compromised your relationship. Hopefully you will be honest with your current soon. Please keep me up to date how everything is working out. Emiaj Dear Emiaj, Lately I have found younger men are attracted to me. I am not like and you are enjoying it. Again why not break up with the current boyfriend and date the other guy. Just keep in mind everything that glitters ain’t gold. How well do you know this side piece? Is it just the sex that is good? Has he shown you he is a good man? I think you are not even sure what exactly you want. I would surely break up with the current before I entertain anything else with the side piece. Right now I am about to be super honest with you. I wouldn’t want to be in the relationship with a side piece of anything. For one you can’t be trusted. You cheat the next time things got

talking 2-3 years younger. It is more like 8-12 years between us. I have even been hit on men who are closer to my son’s age.

know that I don’t look my age, but I keep asking myself what am I going to do with these young men.

Now don’t get me wrong I still attract men my age. I even feel funny dating outside of my age range. I am just not sure what to do. Please help Miss Emiaj!

Don’t want to be a Cougar

right course. They are not talking about twerking and what is the next best thing. I am always surprised by some of the ages because none of the women look like the age they are, but then again age ain’t nothing but a number.” There you have it he is just interested in having sex with you. He is interested in getting to know your mind. If you want to date them date them. Don’t allow anyone or anything to stop you. If you find happiness then enjoy it.

Dear Don’t want to be a Cougar, What is funny I understand where you coming from. I just know whatever

reason these young men these days want an older woman in their life is somewhat beyond me. I heard that they like mature women who have their lives together and know their goals. They know what they want out of the relationship. These men see something great in you. I would not date the men your son’s age but 5 years young Emiaj doesn’t seem so bad. As long as he is not living at home with his mama and driving her car. Houston we then a have problem. I think it is flattering that young men find slightly older women attractive. I decided to ask a young man why he was attracted to older women. He said; “ I am interested in older women because they are not all about games and are more established. They know exactly what they are looking for when it comes to a serious relationship. I love having conversations with older women. The conversations that I have with them seem so empowering and on the 18

Aries 3/21 - 4/19 You could find yourself cooking or cleaning or refilling your stores of beans and other dried legumes on the 1st. You could be dusting and sorting and airing things out. You might be washing and folding and putting the summer clothes away, you could be washing and folding and getting the autumn sweaters ready to be taken out. Yes, that's just the kind of energy you have as the month begins, and yes, it's going to make your home crisper and cleaner and cozier. What's that on the responsibility-laden 5th and 6th? You have too darned many responsibilities? Well, you probably do. So take a few minutes, go outside, sit in the

sun, and close your eyes. Breathe. Better, right? Your energy is high and your instincts are good, so get out there and do some exploring on the 11th and 12th. If not now, when? Yee-haw. Use your good karma to generate more good vibes by doing something super nice for somebody who super needs it on the 18th and 19th. By the pretty fabulous 20th and 21st, you'll be feeling the feel-good effects of all this great energy, and you'll love it! Get your communications clear and then get them going on the chit-chatty 24th, 25th and 26th. Romance brightens your life as the first winds of autumn start to whisper on the 29th and 30th. 20

Taurus

Gemini

4/20 - 5/20 What's the best way for you to network on the 1st? Why, over a delicious meal in the company of dear friends. That's right: If you need (or just want) to make a career change, your nearest and dearest are your best resources. They know you and value you and they will have some surprising ideas that could fit your skill set to a 'T.' And a good dinner always makes you feel great. You are all about fun and beauty and romance and adding something extra special to everything you do on the creative and sensual 5th and 6th. Somebody special notices, and really appreciates your efforts. Your philosophical approach can do a tense situation a world of wonders on the 11th and 12th. Well, you always have had a head for insight. By the 18th and 19th, you should definitely overcome any shyness and confide in your friends. They want to know how you are doing, and they can really offer some meaningful emotional support. Good luck, great friends and a couple of generally beautiful days make for a wonderful 22nd and 23rd. Another dinner party (or two) could open new possibilities for you on the 27th and 28th. You're right on the 29th and 30th -- be gracious about it.

5/21 - 6/21 Get thrifty on the 1st! Yep, this is the time to start padding your nest. The temperature is dropping and you'll be happier in a nice warm spot up in that tree. With a great view of the autumnal skies. And no empty patches where the wind gets in. If you can, try to have fun saving money. Like, make it a game! Then make sure that you're in it to win it. You know? By the chit-chatty 5th and 6th, you could be getting call after call after call after call. What are you going to do about it? Answer! Now's the time to talk. You can take this thing to a deeper level on the 11th and 12th. So go deep. Then go a little deeper. Leave no stone unturned! Focus your awesome energies on getting super creative on the 16th and 17th. You'll be amazed. Your buddies have some pretty good professional advice to offer you, so take it seriously when they start talking on the 20th or 21st. Everything is going so zippety-doo-dah great on the 24th, 25th and 26th that you might feel like skipping or singing. Do both! And why not whistle, too? Debate like this conversation means absolutely everything to you on the 29th and 30th. Then laugh off the outcome, shake hands and go out for a nice dinner together. After all, when you work this hard, you deserve to sit back and relax a little afterwards.

Cancer

Leo

6/22 - 7/22 You are off to a pretty wonderful start to the month on the totally terrific 1st. You are getting good news and somebody wonderful is showing up to share it with you. Add a beautiful walk outdoors (no matter what the weather) and you pretty much can't go wrong. In fact, you're likely going very, very right. Wow! By the impulsive 5th and 6th, you could be tempted to go out and buy that expensive item that you really and truly can live without. So maybe it would be better not to buy it. Right? Reign it in, sweetie. A little indecision might be inevitable on the 9th and 10th, so why not do your best to live with it? After all, there's really no point in getting all bent out of shape about it. You could be in a tight spot when it comes to cash flow on the 16th and 17th, so make sure you're not getting sucked into any unnecessary expenditures. You really shine at a social gathering on the 22nd or 23rd, so even if you're feeling a little tuckered out, don't cancel. All your hard work really pays off with a couple of terrific lucky streaks on the 27th and 28th. You love being able to be extravagant, but do it with a minimal output of capital on the 29th and 30th.

7/23 - 8/22 You are just oh-so-intuitive on the 1st that you could blink your eyes and come up with a whole slew of amazing insights. Grab a pen or a pencil or an electronic device of your choice and jot down whatever passed through your consciousness. You're amazing! Then blink again, and repeat. By the awesome 2nd, 3rd and 4th, you are at the top of your game. You're in it to win it, and win it you will. Don't forget to celebrate! Then again, when have you ever forgotten to celebrate? Go ahead and go big with this. When it comes to understanding a problem on the 9th and 10th, the deeper you go, the better you'll understand it. Yes, this could involve some really uncomfortable feelings. But you really, really should do your best to let them in, let them be, then move through them to the truth, which is out there, in one form or another (or in several forms, more than one of which you could find). By the ego-fueled 16th and 17th, you will need to tread carefully for best results. Don't be stubborn if it isn't absolutely necessary on the 22nd and 23rd (it probably isn't necessary). Go easy with the whole 'work' thing on the 24th, 25th and 26th. After all, you need to get in plenty of rest, relaxation and socializing, too! You end the month on a really high note on the absolutely positive 29th and 30th. Yay!

Virgo

Libra

8/23 - 9/22

9/23 - 10/22

Socialize, socialize and then socialize some more on the 1st. Yep, it is high time you got in touch and made plans and met for some serious face to face time with the folks who mean the most to you, and a whole slew of new people, too! By the super fantastic 5th and 6th, the afterglow you've gotten from all this unbelievably revivifying social interaction is only going to be exponentially increased by the super fantastic news that you get. Make sure to get outside and enjoy these waning days of summer, especially if you're feeling restless on the 9th and 10th. You are in a good place to meet someone special if you're single on the romantic-inunexpected-places 13th, 14th and 15th. Wear your most romantic sweater vest at least once. Do your best not to feel like your coworkers were put on this earth just to annoy you on the 20th and 21st. First of all, it's highly unlikely that that is their main purpose in the grand scheme of things. Second of all, you feeling that way will not result in anything terribly constructive happening. Take a step back and go to the gym. Organize your wardrobe (or something similar) on the 27th and 28th. End the month with a resolution to hit the gym more often on the 30th.

A couple of unexpected interruptions and a bunch of delays and a few extra details could leave you feeling downright harried on the 1st. Rather than go along with it and let yourself get flustered, why not take advantage of the uncertainty and get in a little five minute walk? You'll feel a lot better with a little fresh air. If you can, sneak out at lunch and get in a swim. You'll feel better than ever, despite all the unexpected interruptions and nagging details, if you do. You're in a good spot to get creative on the 2nd, 3rd and 4th, so get creative! By the super terrific 7th and 8th, everything you want will be within reach. What could be better? Almost nothing. Except that awesome grilled cheese sandwich you get for lunch. Mmm, good. Give yourself plenty of downtime, especially if you're feeling a little blue on the 13th, 14th and 15th. You need to acknowledge your feelings and indulge in plenty of TLC. Give your major relationships some major thought on the 20th and 21st. How are things working, as far as you're concerned? Make something more beautiful on the 27th and 28th. End the month with a whole-hearted creative effort.

Scorpio

Sagittarius

10/23 - 11/21

11/22 - 12/21

A very, very, very deep conversation on the 1st puts you in mind of something you have really, really, really been wanting to do (write a novel? Compose poetry? Find a truly meaningful relationship with someone to whom you can pour your heart out?) but that you've been neglecting to do. This is great: Now that it's back on your radar, you can really set your sights on getting this thing done now. Or at least on getting started. Your plans are all on the right track on the 5th and 6th. You are really getting along great with the folks in your vicinity on the 13th, 14th and 15th, and this is really, really terrific. Enjoy this time. As you know, it's not always going to be quite this smooth sailing (that's just life). Start something, as long as it's not a totally unnecessary squabble, on the 20th or 21st. Pay absolutely close attention to the small print on the 25th, 26th and 27th. You'll save yourself a lot of heartache, guaranteed. Don't ask for a raise on the 29th or 30th. But do go ahead and propose an awesome business idea.

You might want to charge ahead with a project while your business partner wants to wait and see how things shake out before taking any action on the 1st. Or the opposite might be true: You feel like caution is the name of the game, and your other half is all for shooting the moon. There's no friction-free way to solve the problem, but go with your gut. If you can compromise, do it. If you can't, don't. By the 5th and 6th, it could be an authority figure who is driving you nuts. Don't let them. After all, if you just go for a swim or a walk or a run, you'll be way more in control than you thought you were. Do something wonderful on the 11th and 12th, and you'll be doing everything right. Get some extra sleep on the 18th and 19th. You need it. Do your best to keep track of all your responsibilities on the 22nd and 23rd. That way, you can rest easiest. On the 27th and 28th, you have so much going on that you might lose track of how you're feeling. Don't. An overseas call or message brings some pretty fascinating information on the 29th and 30th. Welcome it!

Capricorn

Aquarius

12/22 - 1/19

1/20 - 2/18

For best results on the 1st, don't scatter your attentions to the four winds. No. Instead, concentrate all your energies and focus on the one person whose thoughts, feelings and emotions really matter to you, right now (and if that person happens to be how 'you,' that's all good!). By the oh-so-interesting, oh-sopositive-for-planning days coming your way on the 5th and 6th, get out your thinking cap and your planner! You need to go ahead and make some decisions about where you're headed, right now. Don't worry: It'll be fun. You're in a pretty fabulous space, when it comes to work and play and love and having a sense of emotional fulfillment when you sit down at your desk in the mornings on the 13th, 14th and 15th. Treasure this! Stability is what you want, and stability is what you should go after on the 20th and 21st. Don't hesitate to spice it all up, a little, too, though, especially on the romantic 22nd and 23rd (yes, romance can be a little destabilizing. But you'll love it!). You and they and everyone you know want to help society, and you should take some steps in that direction on the 27th and 28th. You'll wind up feeling super! Give yourself the afternoon off, if you possibly can on the 29th or 30th.

If you have overstressed yourself of late, then you might start noticing a few new aches and pains on the 1st. Are your teeth hurting? Is your stomach bothering you? Does your head ache? Well, all those (and more) can result from not exercising, neglecting your sleep schedule, and letting emotional stress get to you. What's the best solution? Stop! How? Well, the easiest way is to get up, go outside and go for a nice long run (or a walk). Even better, go for a swim. Get a massage. Get off that stress treadmill. Get on the meditative breathing train! Or the 'I like to get enough sleep' choo-choo. You can do it! By the 5h and 6th, you might not want what they want, and it would be better for you if you figure this out sooner than later. You know? You might come face to face with some of your less acknowledged feelings of disappointment in a certain area of your life on the 9th and 10th. Rather than running away, run towards this potential wealth of knowledge. Things are going amazingly well on the 16th and 17th. Reap what you have sown! It will be delicious. By the peculiar 22nd, 23rd and 24th, you could be privy to some very strange tales. Compromise on the 29th and 30th.

Pisces 2/19 - 3/20 Romance! Fun! Performance! Mystery! Magnetism! Beauty! An amazing aura! General awesomeness! Yes, all this and more is in store for you as the months starts on the 1st. Immerse yourself in the ongoing situation (or a series of situations) for optimal awesomeness. Be true to yourself, but stay open to new possibilities. Things might never be exactly the same, again, from the way you see yourself to the way you see your world. By the ever so slightly critical 5th and 6th, somebody might criticize you. And you probably won't like it. Try not to take it personally, but be honest with yourself if this person has, in fact, recognized something in you that you would do well to change. Don't be rude on the 11th or 12th. Even if you are sorely tempted, indeed. By the really wonderful 18th and 19th, go ahead and count your blessings. You might fall asleep before you're finished! You just have so darned much to be thankful for. If you feel a little overwhelmed on the 24th, 25th or 26th, take a step back. Review. Resolve. Then go for a swim. Focus on taking better care of yourself and your health on the 29th and 30th.

The Snitch Killer is on the loose! Every informant who agrees to help law enforcement bring Ryan “R-Dubb” Williams to justice ends up dead. Their throats are slit from ear to ear, and as a trademark, the killer “drops a dime” on his victims’ chest and scribbles the phrase “Speak No Evil” in blood at the murder scene. Bryan and Ryan are paternal twins on opposite sides of the law—or are they? From childhood they were groomed by their Uncle Nookie, who’s serving life at the Indiana State Prison in Michigan City for killing a cop in the 70’s. Bryan became a detective on the Metropolitan Joint Task Force , while Ryan became a dope dealer on the deadly streets of Gary, Indiana. Fresh out of prison, Ryan teams up with Bryan in flooding the streets with narcotics. This leads law enforcement on a chase to catch Bryan stealing out of the evidence room and to ultimately unveils the mysterious “Snitch Killer”.

With Deszion

HIM: I keep telling my girl I’m not into any kind of foreplay that has to do with my ass. She keeps trying to get me to try things and it’s pissing me off. Is she trying to get me to break up with her? Ain’t that much experimenting in the world!

Well, now…sounds like you got just what most men ask for: a lady in the streets and a freak in the bed. The problem with that is, sometimes you gotta be a little bit more specific, huh? Seems like you messed around and got Superfreak on your hands.

you’re very uncomfortable with it, DON’T DO IT. If she keeps pushing you, how concerned is she about your feelings? If it was the other way around and you were trying to get her to let you get in some anal play, she kept saying no and you kept insisting, what would happen? She’d tell all her little friends and you’d be an asshole (pun intended), a jerk, a creep, insensitive and selfish. What? Those names don’t apply to her because she’s a chick? NOT!

Look, I know you’re supposed to “open up” to your partner and try new things and all that, but anal play ain’t for everyone. I’ll tell you like I’d tell my ladies: If 30

Relationships involve TWO people. Two sets of feelings to consider. She asked, you considered, you said HELL NO. That should’ve been the end of it.

You just aren’t into that, and no amount of pleading, “Oh, you know that’s where a man’s G-spot is, stop being a punk,” and all that, is going to change your mind. Being a punk is going against your beliefs for someone who doesn’t respect yours.

Now, is this a deal breaker for you? Cuz if she keeps pestering you, you need to get some Q-tips, clean her ears out, sit her down and explain to her in an even but firm tone that this ISN’T GONNA HAPPEN and if she asks you again, it’s going to be taken as a sign of disrespect.

In short, tell her to get her damn life. If she wants a dude that’s gonna let her fuck him in the ass, tell her to carry her ass to Club Milk or something.

: Distinguishing the Myths About Natural Hairstyles. By: Talia Rice

What is it about black women and hair? Especially natural hair? Let a woman rock the natural state of her hair and watch the jokes/cracks come flying in she look like a dirty tennis ball, crackhead, your shit is nappy as hell, etc. I have never heard any other style cause such a stir more than natural styles. The hair industry has Several weeks ago comedian Sheryl Underwood, co-host of The Talk, made a comment about Heidi Klum

cutting then keeping her mixed kidâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hair saying who wants to keep nappy hair? She goes on to say nappy hair is unattractive and ugly and no one goes into a hair shop become a billion dollar industry and guess who is making it that big? The sistahs which puts a whole new meaning to the song written and sung by India Arie I Am Not My Hair. With all of this hate toward natural wearing sistahs 32

I beg to differ. asking for the nappy wig. I am a natural sistah and I have thought about going into a wig store and buying a larger afro until my own fills out so she is wrong on that point. And if someone like

her is going to talk about nappy naturals then at least have a tight wig on! It looks like she gets her hair done in the dark. And although she apologized for the comments the damage has been done.

itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s our identity. Calling ourselves crackheads or dirty little tennis balls will not elevate our community. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve become brainwashed into believing bone straight weaves is the sole definition of beauty. The hate has beBlack women we need come too much. It is to stop using hair like wrong for other races 33

to tell us what we need to look like but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s even more damaging for us to belittle the next sistah for wearing our natural hair. Lets start with demolishing the myths about it.

Myth 1: It’s hard to

manage. Really? And going to the salon once every two weeks to color and get a sew in is easy? You can’t sleep on your new do, swim with it and don’t even get on having rough sex with it on! I rock a natural fro and all I do is get up, put shea butter and pure olive oil on it and go. Can’t get any easier. Myth 2: It’s un-

attractive. What is not cute about it? Seeing a sistah in her natural state has a sexiness to it. It’s pure and how we were born into this world.

Myth 3: It’s too nappy.

We need to dismiss the whole nappy kitchen shit. My hair is NOT nappy. A beautician told me once before that it’s curls not naps. I can run my fingers through my hair.

Myth 4: Going natural makes

you an angry black woman. Didn’t know hair can make a person angry. You’re uneducated if you believe that kind of stupidity. Your reality makes you angry don’t let anyone else tell you differently. So don’t think you will turn into a negative person, if anything you will feel more empowered when you rock your natural. 35

Myth 5: You

smoke crack if you rock a natural. Wow! I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried. I’ve never smoked that ish and don’t plan to either. You will not turn into a crackhead sitting in a bird coop clucking at everyone if you go natural.

I have gotten nothing but positive feedback since I’ve gone natural especially from my sistahs. It saddens me that all of us who have chosen to go natural haven’t had the same experience. There is nothing wrong either way you go but whatever the next sistah does don’t knock her for her decision, embrace her. And lastly back to India Arie’s song, don’t define yourself solely by your hair. 36

2.5 INCHES EQUALS 912.5 DAYS By: Angela Williams

What if I said two and a half inches of hair is equivalent to nine hundred twelve and a half days? What if I said my eyes are opened and I see you....the real you? What if I said I know why you took such pleasure in hitting me with your verbal assaults? What if I said I know why you tried to break me? What if I said I know you are a scared and scarred little boy trapped in the body of a grown man? What if I said two and a half inches of hair is equivalent to nine hundred twelve and a half days? What if I said that cutting off two and half inches of hair freed me from the debilitating hold you had over me? What if I said with each snip the scissors made was like the key turning 39

in the lock of the cage I allowed you to imprison me in? What if I said with each snip of the scissors I reclaimed the essence of who I am... who I truly am? What if I said with each snip of the scissors I got stronger and gained confidence? What if I said with each snip of the scissors I saw the beauty I possessed? What if I said with each snip of the scissors I felt a calm of peace and selfacceptance wash over me? What if I said with each snip of the scissors I forgave you?

Emotions.... By: Frances Robinson

Uncontrolled Running Free Expressing Itself Inopportune Moments Having a Will of its Own Controlling The Strong Willed And Strong Minded... Bringing them Down to Their Knees When Emotions Rears it Head Caught in the Moment Every Fiber of Your Being Saying No Emotions Stepped in and Said YES Running Ramped

Having its Way Un invited Emotions Hiding from Ducking and Dodging 41

Trying to Suppress And get Away From Trying our Best To put Behind Us The Feelings being Felt

Emotions Playing Games Taking its Turn Causing Chaos

We Thinking

Mind Tricking Telling Ourselves We Control this Yet Being Hunted By the Very Thing We Seem To Have No Control of Emotions Keeping Us Silent If We Speak We Just Might Lose it Parted Lips 42

They Will Escape Us To Say Exactly What it Wants Too And We Thinking We Have a Grasp on The Ways Were Feeling

Lying to Ourselves Hoping It Just Might Make a Difference In Order to Maintain Order Inside the Realm of Our Mind Space

Emotions Taking over Invasion of Thoughts and Visions Stealing Your Peace Casing Your Mind Like a Thief in the Night Making You Recall Smells Sounds Sights and Memories You Just Cant Seem to Escape from Trying Hard to Get Rid of Hanging on like Fatal Attractions 43

Wishing Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d Go Away But They Wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Time Emotions Getting the Best of Taking its Toll on the Idle Minded Keeping Busy Trying To Block it But Remembering Like Eagles Soaring Flying High Roaming Like the Beast of the Fields Owning The Space it Inhabits Emotions Territorial Minded Like Gang Members

Sticking Together Fighting for Causes Winning the Battle Like an Addiction Trying to Shake it Cold Turkey 44

Emotions Well Hidden By the Cold Hearted And The Stone Hearted Killing Them Slowly

Dying From Holding them In Emotions Fighting Trying to Break Away To Be Free

Wanting to Live Breathe Searching Release To Be Expressed Unable to Be Tamed

Emotions Are Feelings We Deal With.... "A Taste of Poetic Flavor"ÂŠ September 12, 2013 45

FALLING OUT OF LOVE WITH YOU By: Jonathan Vinazza

Why can't I help this? This feeling of inevitable doom. I try so hard to shake this Feelings so regrettable and unforgettable too. I wish you would notice. Notice me falling fast away from you. Now it's so hard to focus Blinded by the love lost in my thoughts of you. And just across the horizon Within a fog watching the clouds at dusk with you, I contemplate fading out To black because the fact is the world is cruel So I look beyond it Seeking solace from any malice in a golden rule Trying to be a hero After being a such a villain, willing to try something new. And I hope you appreciate That God has probably punished me for what I did to you. Funny thing about it is My heart has been torn apart so my view is askew. Perhaps these notions are bogus Perhaps in a universe parallel none of it is true. Or perhaps in one kiss Such bliss would seem too abysmal for me to subdue Or even perhaps still This uncertain future of ours will soon become unglued But as I now write this With a pensive pen, trying so hard to construe. I hold back nothing

Nothing left to hold but myself thanks to you. My mind is a canvas In it I painted a mural of acrylic for you When it rains I'm dancing Watching the paint melt so I can start anew But slowly I'm losing it, These vented feelings have now sought refuge But slowly I'm losing it, My beauty is fading waiting for this to ensue Now I feel so ugly Hiding in a tower, powerless and in solitude, Because now I feel nothing Apathy is my friend as I fall out of love with you. Yes my dear, I'm now falling out of love with you. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sad but be glad I'm finally falling out of love with you.

By: Emiaj AhDai

An Interview with Dr. Wendy Walsh By: Richarh Aswanu

I'll never forget it, I remember it like yesterday. As I sat in front of the television watching the celebration of the March on Washington 50 years ago, an attractive, conservative looking white woman appeared on the screen. She was positioned between two African-American men in what looked like a debate, and I thought to myself; "I wonder what she has to say." I was expecting to hear something negative about Black America escape from her lips. But as she began to speak, I had to do a double take. I thought she had been possessed by Sister Soulja as she listed off some of the injustices suffered by African- Americans since the slave trade. I was completely amazed by her knowledge and her veiws. And ya'll know how I do, I just had to talk to her. So, we reached out and she accepted ever so gracefully. I took notes and got my question ready. I am thrilled and very honored to introduce you to Dr. Wendy Walsh. 52

Richarh: Please excuse me, I'm a fan. Psychologists fascinate me. I think you guys can read minds and break down people's personality by analyzing their handwriting. What made you decide to get into the field? Dr. Walsh: When I was pregnant with my first child, I was in therapy and starting taking a few classes in child development. I wanted a greater intellectual understanding of the therapeutic process. And I wanted to know more about the tiny brain I was developing in my womb. Richarh: I just have to ask, does being a psychologist affect 53

your love life in any way? I can imagine your significant other trying to lie to you about something while you're sitting there analyzing his body language, speech patterns and eye contact. I figure it's pretty hard to get one over on you. (Laughs)

door of parental figures on kids, so for now, I don't date. Richarh: As a psychologist, do you believe people are a product of their environment, and could you give us an example to support your position?

Dr. Walsh: Psychology is what happens when biolDr. Walsh: Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been a sinogy meets the environgle mother for the past eight years. And psychol- ment. Everyone comes into the world with a cerogy helps me trementain biological predisposidously in parenting. As for my love life, I know tion, for good or bad. And the dangers of a revolving then their environment 54

either enlivens or suppresses that biology. That's why some kids can come from abusive childhoods and turn out okay. And why others only suffer a little and get real

sional field raising two mixed race girls in America?

ly mentally affected. â&#x20AC;¨â&#x20AC;¨ Richarh: Now, you yourself are a single mother to two beautiful bi-racial girls. 10 and 15. What's it like as a white woman in a profes-

and was playing with some cousins in Miami, she asked me "Mommy, why is my skin brown and Dr. Walsh: The same as being any parent raising the other kids white?" I children of any color! We told her to hush up and are lucky because we live stop bragging. That ended in a very diverse and lib- our only lesson in race. eral neighborhood with Richarh: What do you plenty of multiracial fami- teach your little girls? I lies. My children selfmean, during dinner or identify as multi-racial, while you're tucking them not black or white. We in, what little seeds for are all just human beings. growth do you plant in When my oldest was four their minds? 55

ter is biracial, would advise do you have for me and other parents of biracial little girls when our daughters go through an idenDr. Walsh: I tell them that tity crisis, dealing with bethey have the power to ing half black and half change the world. I tell white? them that when they feel Dr. Walsh: Move! That sad, to look down rather was a joke, sort of. I actuthan up. Way more peo- ally would gently ask you ple have harder lives. And to ask yourself about I tell them it is their reyour beliefs about race. sponsibility to make life Do you think she should better for those who are have to identify with one suffering. And I tell them or the other? If so, what to eat their vegetables. do you think you are proRicharh: My oldest daugh- tecting your daughter 56

from? Do you want her to self-identify as your race? Why? Kids are sponges and they absorb a lot of our feelings. Richarh: Have you ever experienced any discrimination or funny looks while taking them shopping or out to eat? Dr. Walsh: Only once when we lived in homogeneous Italy. The Italians were too polite to say anything, except that my kids looked like "Bambolinas" (little dolls). But one day an African street merchant followed me while I had my toddler on my hip. I guess he thought I had adopted her from Africa because he accosted me with "Where did you get that black baby?" I told him she came from the Republic of My Womb. He was shocked, and then leaned and whispered "You cannot carry that baby in public! People

will know you have been with a black man!" I laughed out loud and continued walking, while I shouted over my shoulder. "You should move to America, dude. That's cool there." â&#x20AC;¨Richarh: Have you ever felt like you've been typecast or thrown into the pool with black people since you have bi-racial children? Dr. Walsh: Huh? Only in fabulous swimming pools in LA with family members. Is that a serious question? My friends are Latino, Asian, Black, White and Multi-racial. We live Dr. King's dream out here in Los Angeles. Richarh: Could you tell us a little bit about the challenges you face as a single mother? Dr. Walsh: The hardest part about being a committed single mother us

finding even a second to take care of yourself. I try to zip over to the gym while the kids are in school but then I cut into my time to try to make money for them. Every decision I make in my life is weighed against what effect it will have on my children. I made a commitment to these two fabulous humans and I plan to keep my promise to dedicate myself to their upbringing.

issues we (Black people) feel like it's "just us." Do you consider yourself living proof that some of the problems AfricanAmericans face such as single parenthood are "American" problems affecting white people as well?

Richarh: I realize, as a race Dr. Walsh: Yes. Although, while dealing with certain sadly, black American women are the group 57

least likely to be married in America... â&#x20AC;¨One solution proposed by Ralph Richard Banks in his book, Is Marriage for White People?: How the African American Marriage Decline Affects Everyone, is for black women to create strong black families by marrying outside their race. Richarh: I noticed during one of your appearances on CNN that you were stressing adequate pre-schooling. Is that another problem that effects white America too? Dr. Walsh: The lack of childcare and early childhood education affects this entire country. 44% of American babies are born out of wedlock and this country needs to step up and support single moms and single dads. It takes a village. And the choice for America is to pay for early childhood love or pay for prisons later. Richarh: I'm coming to a point where I don't believe everything is about race all the time. I think there is a social -economic class who basically runs this country. And if you don't fit into their criteria or standards, you are discarded as trash whether you're Black, White, and Latino, Asian or anything in between. What's your view? Dr. Walsh: You are brilliant!!! Yes. Right on. Class is a much bigger issue than race. Forty per cent of this country's wealth lies in the hands on only one percent of the population. In the last few decades, average household income has continued to decline. We need to stick together and make the top people accountable. Richarh: What was it like growing up in Nova Scotia, Canada, with a mother who was a social activist? Canadians have some 58

pretty liberal views on race and I hear cities like Toronto and Montreal have a lot of interracial couples. Do you think growing up in Canada had a huge impact on your views on race and relationship?

no more expensive than traveling within the US. People need to get out if their comfort zone more.

Richarh: In 1992, you covered the WATTS Riots and you said you had pain in your heart and you Dr. Walsh: Yes. Definitely. I just cited the toll it had on children as don't feel racism there ever. And hurting you the most. What did it is soooo politically incorrect to you see? make a racial comment, that Dr. Walsh: I saw enraged people people just don't do it. burning their own communities Richarh: You said your 15 year as if that was the answer. And old has been to 10 countries and who was hurt? The children who that her sense of race is not were just trying to go to school American-Centric. How are racial and grow up safely. It broke my views around the globe in com- heart. parison to those in the United Richarh: Tell us about LA CITY States? CAMP. Dr. Walsh: We love London. We Dr. Walsh: It was created by mydid a home exchange with an self and a group of friends withEnglish family for a month this in months of the LA Riots. It is a summer. London is where the series of day camps designed to globe comes to meet. When you get kids out if the hood and exget outside the boarders of the pose them to people, places and US you have a much wider view things outside of the projects. of ethnicity and culture. Being Every summer there is a campblack could mean that you come ing retreat in the mountains. I from one of many, many counran LA City Camp for ten years tries and your language and culand then other volunteers took ture could be anything. It is sad the reins. Last year, we celebratthat only one in five Americans ed our 20th birthday. have a passport. Foreign travel is 61

Richarh: With your upbringing, your contributions to the black community and your children. Do you consider yourself part of the African American community, or kinda like family?

about them as their shoe orate for our readers who size. I have many black may have missed you? relatives and I hope they Dr. Walsh: I get angry consider me family. when people talk about Richarh: My jaw practical- the "breakdown" of the ly dropped to the floor African American family. when I saw you on CNN When children were stodiscussing the institutional len from their homeland, Dr. Walsh: I just consider breakdown of Black Fami- when babies were sold myself a human. When lies by White America. out of mothers' arms, and you know someone's race How did you come to that when no slave was alyou know about as much conclusion? Will you elab- lowed to legally marry,

when the African American family was ever intact. Some black families are doing better today, in spite of what they are up against. I believe that marriage is the foundation and the cure for a lot of issues we face today. It all starts at home. As a relationship expert, could you give us some practical advice on what men and women can start doing to have successful marriages in our community? I think just as people who are gay are fighting to marry, so should the AfricanAmerican community. So many institutionalized laws made marriage hard for blacks to attain (i.e. giving social welfare dollars only if a man were not living in the house) that I think more blacks should fight for their right to marry. I say this, not because I think mar-

riage is the only way, but research shows that it's still the best way to create better outcomes for kids. Children from married parents have the resources and time of two consistent people and that increases their educational success. The first thing that needs to happen, in order to accomplish this, is a big change in mindset. Marriage and parenthood should not be considered two distinct things. With 44% of American babies being born out of wedlock, we are now seeing the middle class reflect the lower classes, who have tended to separate out marriage and parenthood. Trust me, marriage rates are growing in the upper classes. Combining income into one stable household is the best way to double your wealth.

There's always been this ongoing discussion of rappers use of the "B-word" in their lyrics. During an appearance on CNN you said "Tough young men in rap want love just like everybody else" Do you feel like we're hearing from a lot of heart broken young men?

Richarh: It seems like there's this never ending cycle of men and women causing emotional damage to one another.

Richarh: Well Doc, thanks for the interview. It was a joy to have you, and our doors are always open to you.

Dr. Walsh: On CNN, I was challenging rap mogul Russell Simmons assertion that we should not be offended by rap lyrics as they are just the artist's truth. I disagree. Plenty of rap is filled with male bravado and misogyny designed to sell records and nothing more. The real truth in the intimate relationships of these rappers has less to do with "lick it and stick it" and far more with vulnerable feelings and broken hearts.

By: Richarh Aswanu

Kitty Licker will be available soon! If you haven't preordered it yet, you're trippin. It's hot! I hadn't really been a fan of erotica. Everything I've read has either been corny or it was on some far out shit. I brung what was missing to the world of erotic fiction. I penned some freaky tales from the perspective of a true player. you know, that smooth cat who comes through and whispers something good in your ear. That dude who you can take a bubble bath with while you sip on a bottle of Remy Martin and put somethin good in the air. And when the mood is right, he licks you from head to toe and leaves you legs trembling before he even enters your body. 66

I knew I needed a special kind of lady to spread herself across the cover of Kitty Licker. And when I seen the pictures of Sexy Sapphire, I said "Ew, she looks like she wants me to lick her." I mean she has her leg all cocked up in the chair with an expression on her face that says, "eat me." So, I reached out to her and she agreed. I wanted to get to know her a 'lil better, so I asked her a few questions; Richarh:What's up wit cha? Give us the basics baby girl. What's your name and where are you from?

R:Tell us about Sapphire on fire productions and what you do. S:Sapphire on Fire Productions is My own small independent label started in 2007 to promote myself as a model. Little did I know that I would expand into the adult business world and take off the way I did. I model, write erotic stories/spoken word/poetry/articles and essays, I am a webcam girl, a phone sex operator, and I make xxx video clips. I also run a few websites and do online marketing and networking for small businesses.

Sapphire: Hey love I'm great, feeling R:I see you have a blog, what kind of pretty good right now and I'm Sexy Sap- topics do write about? phire, from Baltimore, Maryland. S: On my main blog I write about music 67

models and porn. Mainly I write about porn and nudity along with my life but I love to interview and introduce my fan base to other great talents whether they be in the music, modeling or porn business. R: I've noticed that you have a lot pictures posted up on your page. What made you decide to do sexy poses? S: I've never considered anything else but being sexy. It's always been a part of who I was. R: Instantly, we started getting complaints from the cover. It's already been reported as nudity and pornographic. What do you have to say to those comments? S:I say yay! That's how you know Sexy Sapphire put her foot in something, when people are complaining about it. If they aren't talking then there's a problem. I'm used to My photos being flagged for being too darned sexy. I find it to be a compliment now. R: How long have you been into 68

modeling?

on the cover of one. Honestly I S:It's been almost 7 years never thought I was cover material so seeing myself on the cover now. of Kitty Licker is a humbling yet R:What do you call it, the motivating moment for me. type of modeling you do? R:Do you like reading erotica? S:I am an erotic eye canS:Very much so, in fact, I write it dy and fetish model. I myself. shoot everything from glamour and R:Do you consider yourself an eye candy to full nude, erotic or sensual person? bondage and foot fetish S:Extremely work R:That pose, wit your leg all up R:Do you have any other on the chair like that. It does dreams or goals you something to me. I can't help it, I want to reach in life? gotta ask you. do enjoy getting S:I want to be a writer your Kitty Licked? and ravel the world shar- S:OMG YES YES YES all day everying the story of my triday. I'll take it over sex. umph and rise R:Um, what do you wash her from abuse victim with with? Do you use some cucumno family to the dynamic ber melon type fragrance or do woman I am today you use some kind of cherry lilac R:How does it feel to be body wash? Just wonderin what on the cover of Kitty Lick- it taste like. Lol! er? S:Naughty boy lol honestly I'm S:Exhilarating, while I've addicted to my waterfall fresh been in 17 magazines in Irish Spring 2 years I've never been 69

R:Other than your Kitty, what's your favorite body part to get licked?

pop music.

R:What's your idea of a romantic evening?

R:Hey, I just wanted to thank you for hoppin' on the cover. I really appreciate it. Go a head and promote your blog, your website and anything you got going on;

S:Candlelight massages, weed smoke all around, lots of oral love, soft music. It's all I need to feel like valentines day every day

S:Thank you for giving me the opportunity, I really appreciate it. There's always much more of Me to see at the links below

R:So, I hear you like to go out for drinks and crab legs. What else do you like to do in your spare time?

http://www.sapphirethesexyone.com

S:My booty and my toes oh yea they drive me wild.

http://www.clips4sale.com/19665 http://www.rude.com/sapphirethesexy1

S:Believe it or not I'm a homebody. I'm http://www.sexysapphire.c4slive.com usually in the house smoking bud, readhttp://www.twitter.com/sexysapphire ing, watching international cartoons http:www.instagram.combmoreshiddenjewe and dancing around my living room to 70

LIFE AFTER MARRIAGE:

SEVEN FEARS A WOMAN HAS ABOUT MARRIAGE

Everyone knows that men are terrified of commitment, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a little-known fact that women are as well. Most men may even think that women are always trying to trap them into marriage and that is simply not the case. Women have just as many fears, if not more, than men do. Here are seven fears that women have when it comes to marriage. 74

1.HIS MOTHER What is it about his mother that has the wife so afraid? Becoming just like her one day. Every wife wants to be her own woman, not a replica of his mother. She did her job and now itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time for the wife to do hers. Not simply pick up where his mother left off, but to begin a new venture with her husband by her side. Two Queen Bees cannot exist in the same hive, so he should protect his hive by allowing his wife to be the only Queen. A motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s advice is always welcome, but it is not the law, and a wife simply needs room to find her own way.

2. THEY’LL HAVE TO BECOME INSTANT HOMEMAKERS When the two first met, he did his own laundry, cleaned up after himself and even prepared an occasional meal or two. Now that the Honeymoon is over, she is thrust into the “homemaker” role. No longer cleaning up after himself, no help with the dishes or household chores, all of a

sudden he is totally helpless and a terrible housemate. The expectation that the wife will now take care of everything is unfair, she did not sign up to be Molly Maid. She just wants respect as a wife; homemaking will come naturally and in her own time.

3. HE WON’T FIND

HER SEXY ANYMORE Women are terrified that marriage will mean the end of sex as they know it. First thing to go is foreplay because now that sex is “inhouse”, it’s guaranteed. Once she becomes the “wife”, the appeal is gone and she will somehow morph into the role of his mother. Maybe it was the chase he was attracted to, and now that he’s caught her, the game is over…and so is the sex. Believe it or not, women want sex just as much, if not more, than men do. Foreplay is key and as long as stays in effect, sex is on tap!

4.HE NO LONGER COMMUNICATES He used to be very attentive, sending little notes or texts, now he hardly talks anymore. Of course marriage will bring about more issues, but they can be easily worked out with open communication. A couple should carve out time to discuss marital issues and he should try not to “hide” when she needs to discuss the bills, his mother or any other problem that arises. It is the husband’s job to keep the peace and all she needs is for him to listen and take action. He becomes King to her when there’s love in the castle.

5. HER DREAM GUY SHOWS UP For those women not lucky enough to find their dream guy, the fear is that just when they marry Mr. Right, Mr. Dreamy will show up. It may sound superficial, but this is a real fear, same as the fear men have. Shake it off ladies; Mr. Dreamy is just an illusion! Your dream guy is exactly where he belongsâ&#x20AC;Śin your dreams. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be lured by this apparition, this man only exists in Zane novels or Tyler Perry movies, depending on your preference.

6. HER SHOPPING DAYS ARE OVER The whole “what’s mine is ours” thing is more terrifying for women than men think. Women fear that once they start mixing credit card and bank accounts, they will be expected to be thriftier with their spending. It may seem trivial to men, but retail therapy is very real and is the cure to many of her ills. It also allows her a sense of freedom not to have to answer for a pair of shoes or another handbag. As long as her respective bills are paid and the house is taken care of, let the wife continue to get her shop on!

7.LOSS OF INDEPENDENCE AND EQUALITY

She used to go out all the time with her girls, now she has to “check in” or feels like she has to ask for permission to do what she used to do freely. Not that there shouldn’t be some couple courtesy given when hanging out, but women fear that their smartphone will become the new ball and chain. Friday nights with the boys are continued without question; the same courtesy should be afforded to her as well. Discuss this as a couple, choose one or two weekends for family, friends and relatives and reserve the other two for date nights and couple activities. This will help you stay connected as a couple and dispel the feeling that limitations are exclusive to the wife. 81

BIPOLAR DISORDER AND AFRICAN AMERICANS: YES IT’S REAL, AND NO A SPANKING WON’T FIX IT By:Deszion Nasir

I remember as a child, when children would act out, there was a common remedy for it: spank that butt. That was the common practice to tame a disobedient child. It most certainly was the solution to calm a child that seemed to be going off the deep end. But what if that child couldn’t help what was going on? As the years passed, strange terms started surfacing in the hood: ADD, ADHD. What? What the heck was all that foolishness? White people mess. When one of ours acts up, get me a switch. I got their medication right here in this drawer… But one has to realize this way of thinking most often came into play simply because there was no education about these kinds of things in the hood. Who was telling our peo-

ple about this? We weren’t hearing about this until little Kaseem was acting a fool in class, being suspended, and we hear a foreign term: ADHD. Put him on these pills. The exhausted parents give the child pills they haven’t researched. The child calms down. YES! A month passes.

The child becomes a zombie. Uh oh. The child begins to revert. Then the child starts emitting even worse behavior. Here come the old heads: “I TOLD you to stop messing with them white people and WHOOP that child!” That hasn’t worked. But neither do these pills. Back to the doctor you go. After more tests, you finally hear: Bipolar disorder. What the heck is that?! Biwhat? What does that mean? Is my kid crazy?! So many people still really don’t know. Especially African Americans. Bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive illness, is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity levels, and the ability to carry out day-to-day tasks. An estimated 2.3 million Americans have bipolar disorder. While the rate of bipolar disorder is the same among African Americans as it is among other Americans, African Americans are less likely to receive a diagnosis and, therefore, treatment for this illness. Symptoms of bipolar disor-

der are severe. They are different from the normal ups and downs that everyone goes through from time to time. Bipolar disorder symptoms can result in damaged relationships, poor job or school performance, and even suicide. But bipolar disorder can be treated, and people with this illness can lead full and productive lives. Bipolar disorder often develops in a person’s late teens or early adult years. (My son was diagnosed at 4 YEARS OLD). At least half of all cases start before age 25. Some people have their first symptoms during childhood, while others may develop symptoms late in life. Bipolar disorder is not easy to spot when it starts. The symptoms may seem like separate problems, not recognized as parts of a larger problem. Some people suffer for years before they are properly diagnosed and treated. Like diabetes or heart disease, bipolar disorder is a long-term illness that must be carefully managed throughout a person’s life. 84

+ = Symptoms People with bipolar disorder experience unusually intense emo tional states that occur in distinct periods called â&#x20AC;&#x153;mood episodes.â&#x20AC;? An overly joyful or overexcited state is called a manic episode, and an extremely sad or hopeless state is called a depressive episode. Sometimes, a mood episode includes symptoms of both mania and depression. This is called a mixed state. (This is what I have). People with bipolar disorder also may be explosive and irritable during a mood episode.

Extreme changes in energy, activity, sleep, and behavior go along with these changes in mood. It is possible for someone with bipolar disorder to experience a long-lasting period of unstable moods rather than discrete episodes of depression or mania. A person may be having an episode of bipolar disorder if he or she has a number of manic or depressive symptoms for most of the day, nearly every day, for at least one or two weeks. Sometimes symptoms are so

severe that the person cannot function normally at work, school, or home. Symptoms of mania or a manic episode include: Mood Changes A long period of feeling “high,” or an overly happy or outgoing mood Extremely irritable mood, agitation, feeling “jumpy” or “wired.” Behavioral Changes Talking very fast, jumping from one idea to another, having racing thoughts Being easily distracted Increasing goal-directed activities, such as taking on new projects Being restless Sleeping little Having an unrealistic belief in one’s abilities Behaving impulsively and taking part in a lot of pleasurable, high-risk behaviors, such as spending sprees, impulsive sex, and impulsive business investments.

Symptoms of depression or a depressive episode include: Feelings of sadness or unhappiness Irritability or frustration, even over small matters Loss of interest or pleasure in normal activities Reduced sex drive Insomnia or excessive sleeping Changes in appetite â&#x20AC;&#x201D; depression often causes decreased appetite and weight loss, but in some people it causes increased cravings for food and weight gain Agitation or restlessness â&#x20AC;&#x201D; for example, pacing, hand-wringing or an inability to sit still Irritability or angry outbursts Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements Indecisiveness, distractibility and decreased concentration Fatigue, tiredness and loss of energy â&#x20AC;&#x201D; even small tasks may seem to require a lot of effort Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or blaming yourself when things aren't going right Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things Frequent thoughts of death, dying or suicide Crying spells for no apparent reason

Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches

Causes

are contained inside a person’s cells that are passed down from parents to children.

Scientists are learning about the possible causes of bipolar disorder. Most scientists agree that there is no single cause. Rather, many factors likely act together to produce the illness or increase risk.

Children with a parent or sibling who has bipolar disorder are four to six times more likely to develop the illness, compared with children who do not have a

family history of bipolar disorder. However, most children with a family history of bipolar disorder will not develop the illness.

Genetics Bipolar disorder tends to run in families, so researchers are looking for genes that may increase a person’s chance of developing the illness. Genes are the “building blocks” of heredity. They help control how the body and brain work and grow. Genes

Genetic research on bipolar disorder is being helped by advances in technology. This type of research is

now much quicker and more farreaching than in the past. One example is the launch of the Bipolar Disorder Phenomena Database, funded in part by NIMH. Using the database, scientists will be able to link visible signs of the disorder with the genes that may influence them. So far, researchers using this database found that most people with bipolar disorder had: • Missed work because of their illness • Other illnesses at the same time, especially alcohol and/or substance abuse and panic disorders • Been treated or hospitalized for bipolar disorder. The researchers also identified certain traits that appeared to run in families, including: • History of psychiatric hospitalization • Co-occurring obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) • Age at first manic episode 89

• Number and frequency of manic episodes. Scientists continue to study these traits, which may help them find the genes that cause bipolar disorder some day. But genes are not the only risk factor for bipolar disorder. Studies of identical twins have shown that the twin of a person with bipolar illness does not always develop the disorder. This is important because identical twins share all of the same genes. The study results suggest factors besides genes are also at work. Rather, it is likely that

many different genes and a person’s environment are involved. However, scientists do not yet fully understand how these factors interact to cause bipolar disorder. Brain Structure and Functioning Brain-imaging studies are helping scientists learn what happens in the brain of a person with bipolar disorder. Newer brain-imaging tools, such as functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) and positron emission tomography (PET), allow researchers to take pictures of the living brain at work. These tools help scientists study the brain’s structure and activity. Some imaging studies show how the brains of people with bipolar disorder may differ from the brains of healthy people or people with other mental disorders.

For example, one study using MRI found that the pattern of brain development in children with bipolar disorder was similar to that in children with “multidimensional impairment,” a disorder that causes symptoms that overlap somewhat with bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. This suggests that the common pattern of brain development may be linked to general risk for unstable moods. Learning more about these differ

ences, along with information gained from genetic studies, helps scientists better understand bipolar disorder. Someday scientists may be able to predict which types of treatment will work most effectively. They may even find ways to prevent bipolar disorder.

these tests can help rule out other contributing factors, such as a stroke or brain tumor. If the problems are not caused by other illnesses, the doctor may conduct a mental health evaluation. The doctor may also provide a referral to a trained mental health professional, such as a psychiatrist, who is experienced in diagnosing and treating bipolar disorder.

Exams and Tests The first step in getting a proper diagnosis is to talk to a doctor, who may conduct a physical examination, an interview, and lab tests. Bipolar disorder cannot currently be identified through a blood test or a brain scan, but

Treatments To date, there is no cure for bipolar disorder. But proper treatment helps most people with bipolar

disorder gain better control of their mood swings and related symptoms. This is also true for people with the most severe forms of the illness. Because bipolar disorder is a lifelong and recurrent illness, people with the disorder need long-term treatment to maintain control of bipolar symptoms. An effective maintenance treatment plan includes medication and psychotherapy for preventing relapse and reducing symptom severity. As someone that has mixed bipolar disorder, I know how challenging it can be. The key is to educate myself, not to act like it

doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t exist, and most of all, keep drama, foolishness, and unhealthy everything out of my life. That includes food, people and attitudes. Am I perfect? Pffft, of course not. But as someone with this disorder and an African American, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d be doing our readers a disservice by not keeping it 100. I wrote this article because I felt it was important and to encourage anyone who thinks they may be suffering with bipolar disorder to take this information, study it, and if it stirs anything up inside, get checked out. Peace and Blessings, Deszion <3

Denetra: First off, Congratulations to you for being this months UIM Talent Search Winner! I have to start off with one question, where did you come up with the name Greatest Poet Alive? And what makes you feel confident enough to say so? (I say smiling)

Introducing Septemberâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s UIM Talent Search Winner:

G.P.A.:Well, I want to thank you for this opportunity to expose myself to new readers. In a conversation with God, He said that He not only wanted me to write and perform Poetry, but He said to be the best!! Woo!! And every day and night, I'm working on something else. There may be someone that can write a little better than me(shakes head), perform better than me (shakes head), but no one is going to outwork me. I don't write like anyone or sound like anyone. And this goal is to be the best ever!!! D:How does it feel to be the winner of the Urban Image Magazine Talent search?

By: Denetra Key

G: Woo!!! It feels darn good. From the first few days, we led, and though the young man made a serious charge, we held strong and finished. It is a great honor to grace the pages of your magazine, and man, did we party after the win!!! Woo!!! And you know what? I'm a 94

Poet with a poem put to music, and ing your poetry? people love it!! D:Is there any certain event in life that G:Life experiences, beautiful women, catapulted you to start writing poetry? and to make a impact upon the genre are what inspire to pick up my pen and G:In 2007, i found myself in a sordid stand in front of a microphone. situation that needed a positive light. D:Do you think spoken word poets In this, God found me and told me to have a better opportunity to be heard do what i stated earlier, to be the then tradition poets who just wrote Greatest Poet Alive. books? D:What is your inspiration when writ-

G:Great question. Spoken word has become the prevalent genre out of the two. The other of course is the written word of Poetry. A lot of people don't know understand that there is a divide because of the two genres. But i am a hybrid. AS adept as i am at performing, my writing skill is just as proficient. But yes, spoken word artists are given more light, so I will steal the light. D:Explain your feelings right before you go on stage to perform a piece. G:Right before a performance, I put my mind in the thought process of a Kobe Bryant, Ric Flair, the Rock, or John Cena. Turn the lights up really bright. Let the crowd be really loud. I am going to electrify them as soon as my name is called. And no one does it better than me. D:What does the future hold for GPA? In the next few weeks, I will assume the number one spot on Reverbnation in my city, country, and world. I will release my new cd, "GPApocalypse Forever" on December 1, 2013. It will be very difficult to mention Poetry without mentioning me. It is the impact you have on what you do. I will continue to make such an impact. D: Are you working on any new projects at the present time?

G: GPApocalypse Forever, my new cd of Poetry, writing The Orgasm Strikes Back and The Middle School Adventures of Bobo (A Black Kid from Chicago) D:Your piece that won our talent search was deep? Tell me about the woman that inspired it and I know the audience is dying to know did she wait for you? G:It was after I was divorced that I rote Wait for Me. I thought what could I say to a woman whom i love so she would know that I was serious about her and honest about what I'm work-

deserves honesty. And this was my

work and please donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t forget about

plea. No, she didn't wait. She could not your shout outs! see what I as becoming and where I

G:Thank you to God for making me

was heading. (shrugs)

special and talented. Huge appreciation

D:Well thankful for participating in

to my family, my teammate Kottyn

our talent search and congratulations

Campbell, and all of #teamGPA for

on the win. Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s your chance to tell

supporting me in this journey. We are

our readers anything additional you

not done!! Thank you Urban Image

want them to know about you or your Magazine for the opportunity again.

www.iblowyourmind.net Reverbnation: greatestpoetalive Facebook: G.P.A. (Greatest Poet Alive) Twitter: gr8estpoetalive

A Look Into the Mother Land Self Education Cafe 101:The Modern Wit for my African's Diversification By: Odom Emeka Richard

Educating the mind without educating the heart, it's no education at Aristotle can feed his\her mind with both positive and negative thoughts but the heart still remains the same.. The time lag of my Africa diversification could be better if our leader's stop waiting for trains at the airport, and start putting in round pegs in round holes and doing the right things humanly possible for we all to make a bus turned to bread truck for my African's.. There's no entity that is more refined than the knowledge of self education, in other for us to continue to progress as a continent we have to extinct the" I AM "symptomatic effects off our planet which is making us being out of touch with reality and thus keeping us neglecting our own self educa 98

tion ethics.. We don't need no soothsayer to keep us right and exact, we need knowledge of self then we can exert the teaching of the" I AM "symptoms

into the "WE ARE "symbols to our own cipher, thereby creating a more formidable and resourceful Africa.. Five Self Education Rules Not Taught In Schools

We talked so much about living on a better planet to ourselves, that we forgot about leaving ourselves better in this planet... Rule1:Life is not fair-Get used to it!! Rule2:Don't whine about your mistakes-Learn from them Rule3:The world won't care about your self esteem-The world will expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about self!! Rule4:Your school might have done away with Winner's and Loser's-But Life has Not!! Rule5:Television is not real life-In real life people have to leave the coffee shop and go to work!!! In conclusion; the most useful aspect of a person is not a head full of knowledge, but a heart full of love, with ears open to listen, and hands willing to help!!!

I WISH YOU WERE HERE! By: E. Ahdai

Have you ever said to yourself “I want to go on my dream vacation, but I can’t afford it?” I was so guilty of this. Until one day one of my girlfriends asked why didn’t take my dream vacations. I am going to be super honest I could not afford the places I wanted to go. Being a single parent I had other obligations. Traveling was not one of them. She suggested I check out world adventures also called dream trips. I must say I was super surprised with the pricing. With this piece I am taking you all on my first dream trip. My travels took me to the west coast of Mexico; to the state of Jalisco, and to the city of Puerto Vallarta. When I told my family I was going to Mexico the first thing they said was “Please be careful.” I knew enough about the place to know that this was not one of those places. Plus I was taking one of my friends along with me. I would never travel outside the country alone. So let’s go on my journey.

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DAY 1

port of all places. The same meal was $9.50.

7:00 am EST My journey started out at the Raleigh- Durham International Airport in the Raleigh, North Carolina. I boarded my 7 am flight to Los Angeles, California. This was only my third flight ever and this was my first international flight. I am going to spend the next five hours in the air. I will be crossing all of the times zone in the United States. I closed my eyes and have prayer. I needed traveling mercies, but once in the air I was able to turn on my IPOD. Just then I was fine, sleep came soon...

Dear California, Are you freaking serious? You can’t be serious. I see why people like to move away from here. You all are tripping. Visitor 10:50am PST

As my travels continued, I sat down in my seat on my connecting flight. The airline separated my travel partner and me. We had to sit across the aisle from one another instead of beside one another. I could complain 9:35am PST but I can’t because the guy I was sitting Welcome to sunny Los Angeles, beside was a people person. We struck up a conversation as soon as we sat California! Walking off the plane all I could think was “I want regular food”. I down. He saw my Carolina Panthers twas full off of the complimentary pea- shirt ask me was I football fan. Why yes nuts and pretzels my travel buddy and I opted to head over to the McDonald’s since it was still breakfast time. Let me say this, living on the east coast in the southern states has me spoiled. Here is the reason why I say that. In North Carolina I can go to the McDonald’s and get a number one breakfast combo for$ 4.35. Oh no not in California in the air101

sir I am, (in my very southern voice). He then asked me where I was from. His name was Chris and he from Milwaukee. We talked, we laughed, we napped, and our next stop was two hours away. Next stop Puerto Vallarta, Jalisco Mexico.

3:45pm MST We have officially arrived in Mexico, where customs awaits us. On the plane we had to feel out our immigration forms. Since we were not citizens we were required to fill out information on how long we were staying, where we were staying, and etc. Being that this was my first time flying international I was unsure of what was going to happen. We were greeted by dogs smelling our bags. I am not talking little dogs either. One dog stayed at my bag longer than I would have liked. My bag had to be checked. When I tell you those dogs can smell any and everything. The dog smelled my Benadryl. Yes my bag had to be checked because

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of my allergy medicine. Talk about â&#x20AC;&#x153;Welcome to Mexicoâ&#x20AC;?.

work for time-share companies and instead of taking you to your hotel they would take you to show the hotel of After we left customs this is where we the time-shares. They harassed us all were welcomed to Mexico. We were the way to the door, until we saw our greeted by locals with margarita shots. sign from our hotel. Now that is the type of welcome I We were greeted with a smile expected. Once we finished our shot from our driver Jorge, George in Engwe headed to our pre-arranged translish. portation. About two weeks before leaving for our dream trip, our trip That was his words not mine. We took guide reached out to us, making sure our seats in the front of the bus and we had proper transportation. Here is waited for our other travelers. By the the reason why; heading out the airway guess who get on the bus; Chris port we were bombarded by taxi driv- from the plane. He was staying the ers trying to say that we need to check same place we were. Still while waiting in with them. Come to find out they on 103

the others we met Mr. John and Mrs. Sandy from San Jose. I could already tell they were a ball of fun. Finally everyone was on the bus and we were head to the Costa Sur Spa and Resort.

over I had already met three thousand people and I am going to meet a thousand more.

5:00pm

We ended our first night hanging After a thirty minute ride up the out by the pool and side of a mountain back down to the drinking sangrias. coast; we were at our home away from Tomorrow is going home. Once again we were greeted to be a relax day. with drinks; rum punch this time. Did See you on the othsomeone send a memo to Mexico that I er side. was on vacation and that on vacation I tend to enjoy drinks a little more than Day 2 normal? After we checked and in was My travel partner and given a tour of the resort; we went up I decided to have a chill to shower and change out of our travel day. We spent the day on clothing and into something more prethe resort. Breakfast was sentable. everything that anyone My mind was simply on food be- could want; fruits, cereals, cause peanuts and pretzels seemed to pancake, bacon, sausage be what my diet was at this point. I had and oatmeal. You name a pasta dish I cannot pronounce right they had it. After a light now. All I know is that it was good. It is breakfast we went to the very rare I will try something different gym to get in a morning workout. when it comes to food. The reason be- After the workout we showered and ing I have this pesky food allergy. After put on our swim suits and headed dinner went to the meet and greet for down to the pool and the spa. The the dream trippers. We received the in- spa treatment was my favorite part. formation for our excursions; and I received a full body massage; mixed and mingled with new people. which was needed. I spend so many This where we met Ebony from Atlanta, days worrying about everyone else. I Nina from Oakland, Martin from Salt do not get to relax. Lake City, and this goes on and on. My travel partner said that in this flight 104

Anyone who has ever had a massage knows the feeling is intoxicating. I seriously felt drunk afterwards. We then headed to the pool for some tanning and more Sangria. Day two was about relaxing so nothing to write home about. See everyone tomorrow. We are going snorkeling.

Day 3 You would think that since I am vacation you would think I would get to sleep in. That is not happening here in Mexico. We are up a 7 a.m. so that we take a one hour boat ride to the national park to go snorkeling. The great thing about this is that they were feeding us breakfast and lunch. While on the boat I met Crystal and Chastity from Houston. We laughed and joked about so many things. Again here I am meeting new people

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Along the way we stopped to watch the dolphins play in the waves. We even saw a see turtle come up to the surface. Here I was enjoying what most people good only imagine in life. I WISH YOU WERE HERE! Then it hit me. I was hit with sea sickness. Please understand I have been other places on the water and never been sea sick. I guess there is a first time for everything. Thankful that he crew knew exactly what to do to help the feeling pass. Once I started to feel better I put on my fins and life jacket and jumped off the back of the back boat to see the world under the water.

age of out liking. My body was still feeling funny so I really eat my lunch but I had the company of Nina and Ebony. We sparked up different conversations with Adonis and Rick. I can say they made me feel a little better. WE headed back to the main land. We spent seven hours out on the ocean. I am tired. See you tomorrow we are heading into town. Day 4 Today we are heading into town to do some shopping. I know you all didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t going to come here and not do any shopping. We took the bus

I swam out into in the middle of the ocean. This is where I felt free. I was enjoying the view. I saw sting rays, rainbow fish, and more. I even took picture s with the fish. The coral was so beautiful. I could have stayed out there for hours and just take in the view. We swam closer to the island so that we could go to the hidden beach. We had to swim through a cave to reach the hidden beach. It was so beautiful. Upon arriving back to the boat we were fed lunch and offered any bever106

you were here. We stopped in five shops; we had tequila shots in four. They were trying to get us drunk in the flea market. After about three hours in town we walked back to the bus stop and headed back to the hotel. WE were having a last night party and on top of that we were watching the fight in Mexico. Tomorrow we are heading home. Day 5

down the mountain. Once we got there had to walk 5 blocks to the male`con (flea market). Not once have I complained about the heat here. I guess that is because I have spent so much time in the water. But it was hot as hell walking in the sun.

We stopped in several little shops looking for shot glasses to take home to family. Who would have known that we could taste test tequila. Why didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t I know this? Alex who owned one shop treated us to strawberry tequila and passion fruit tequila. I seriously wish 107

The time had some to say good bye to our home away from home. I was missing home. I was missing my bed and my favorite girl (my daughter). We found out that Chris and Ebony had the same layover we had in Los Angeles. We ended up having dinner with our new friends and hoping to see each other again. My trip was an awesome experience. All I could think was when can I go again? Where will I go next? Who would I take with me? Who would I meet the next time? This way I can say you were here with me enjoying the sunrise and sunsets.

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NBA 2013-14: Season and Ready By your Sports Enthusiast: Antione Barber

The 2012-13 season was a good one. The Miami Heat claimed its second straight NBA championship, with Lebron "King" James defending his throne, and putting the rest of the league on notice of his reign. However, with alot of key moves being made on the off season and players returning from injuries, the rest of the league might have something to say about that. The Eastern Conference is stronger than ever with at least 5 or 6 teams making a run for the title. Of course, you have the defending champs Miami Heat adding former 1st

pick Greg Oden as center and Michael Beasley at forward. But, will losing forward Mike Miller be a hit to their outside shooting in the playoffs after coming up big in those title runs? A healthy Dewayne Wade is good for Miami but bad for the league. After forcing them to 7 games in the conference finals, the Indiana Pacers believe they have the pieces in place to capsize Miami's ship. Their first move was bringing Larry Bird back to run the team. His mission was to make his bench production stronger by resigning David West and Paul George to contract extensions, and acquiring CJ Watson, Luis Scola and the stretch 3 point shooter 120

Copeland from the Knicks. Larry Bird has Pacers Nation believing again. Where's Brooklyn at? The Russian Billionaire owner and GM Billy King managed to up the stock in their team. They brought in proven stars, NBA champions and future Hall of Famers Paul Pierce,

who won NBA finals and finals MVP there in 2004.

Kevin Garnett, and Jason Terry in a trade done with the Celtics this off-season. This gives Brooklyn's younger stars Daren Williams, Joe Johnson, and Brook Lopez that veteran leadership and championship prestige to this franchise. will the newly retired Jason Kidd be able to direct this team to a title? The rest of the Eastern conference has improved. The Detroit Piston's will make some noise, the Motor City adds forward Josh Smith( from Atlanta) PG Brandon Jennings (Bucks) and veteran point guard Chauncey Billups

Can Melo capitalize on his first scoring title and push his Knicks past the top seeds, or will a 3rd straight knee surgery for PF Amare Stoudemire leave them feeling just a piece short? Some die hard fans in Cleveland believe they have put the right peices in line to possibly bring Lebron James back home in 2014 and win them a title by drafting Michael Bennet (UNLV) and

time after his tour in L.A. and he likes his teams chances. In the west things have been rough lately. Fresh off of blowing the finals, the defending conference champions San Antonio Spurs feel like they have everything to say about who will take home the NBA title. While the Spurs believe they lost the finals, the Miami Heat did bringing C Andrew Bynum. Will PG Kyrie Ir- not win it. The General Gregg Popovich feels his ving and company stay healthy and provide the team can bring it back to king with a worthy royal San Antonio. With the court to come home to? emergence of Kawami Former coach of the year Leonard, and Gerald Green in the post season Mike Brown is back to coach the Cavs for his 2nd and the 121

addition of pure shooter Marco Becinelli, the teams proven leaders Tony Parker, Tim Duncan and Mano Ginobli path back should

his lightening fast side kick sidelined for about 4 to 6 weeks, and Kevin Martin, no longer will his fellow cast mates be able to hold things down until be lightened with this sol- Westbrook returns. I wouldn't bet against Kevid play. In Oklahoma, the Durant- in Durant. chula has promised him- Being home of the blues self and his team better has the Memphis Grizzlies signing the hometown leadership and production this season. but with mantra, as the past two

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post season gave them high hopes. Power forward Zach Randolph has been perfecting his moves to his right, so there will be no stopping him this year. With maybe the leagues best front court combo (Indiana) in Randolph and Gasol. The Grizzlies bring back 3 point shooter Mike Miler from

Miami to relieve some of their pressure. Can the Grizzlies finally live like rock stars and stop singing the blues and get to the finals? Randolph and his band think so. After an uplifting season in 2012-13, Houston we have a problem. Not for the Rockets, but for the NBA. Kevin McKale began bringing this problem when he traded for James Harden last season, only to add to his mix 3x defensive player of the year Dwight Howard in free agency. Most people believe Houston's chances are greater than most, crowning Harden and Howard as

the second coming of Shaq and Kobe. If this is so, never mind a problem, Houston has declared war. The leagues best 1-2 punch from behind the arch has Mark Jackson and the Golden State Warriors turning heads of the eague and deeming them true title contenders. Will their pure shooting push them forward, or will the teams youth stop them from becoming "golden?" This season will most definitely be one for the ages. Fans get ready to be entertained. For I am truly looking forward to the tip off on Oct 29th!

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Charles Mattocks: Healthy Life and a Healthy Diet By: Ned Garrett

The percentage of African Americans suffering from type 2 diabetes is very alarming. The major culprit is a poor diet full of carbohydrates and hiden sugars coupled with lack of exercise. Type 2 diabetes is a serious threat to our health. But, it can be defeated. I had the honor of talking to Charles Maddock, also known as "The Poor Chef", and we discused his victory over the disease and the importance of a healthy diet among other things; Ned: What was behind your inspiration to become a chef? Chef Mattocks: I had an opportunity to raise my son as a single father. So my inspiration was to be able to feed him and make him meals that were not only healthy but also cost effective. We all know kids can be picky and he was very picky at that age so I thought let me get great at being able to

make all kind of meals that would be tasty but budget friendly. N:How did you become known as the poor chef? C:One day me an my son were walking into a restaurant and he said wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t it be cool to see real people on TV making meals, and at that time there were mostly shows like Iron chef on TV, and most of us donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know how to cook like that or can even afford to make those type of meals. So I thought about the meals I grew up on, the meals mom and grandmother and dad used to make. Those meals seem like they were the best meals we ever had and coming from the islands where we are very humble in our cost for meals, I knew we could take a small amount of money and with love and great ingredients could whip up an amazing meal. So I really just go by Charles now but my start was using The poor chef and it 126

was also catchy and got people to ask just this type of question. So the poor chef is a master at what he does just on a budget. lol N: You were diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in 2011. What was your initial reaction to this startling revelation, knowing that if not managed properly it could possibly lead to kidney failure, blindness, amputation and even death? C: Well I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know any of that, I only thought I was going to die. It was not until maybe about a month or so in after reading all I could online that I started to understand all of that. It was not until I started shooting my new documentary that I started to see some of this first hand. I was thrust into a world that I had no idea existed and as a black man in his late

30â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s I should have known very well what diabetes is and was. That is one reason I am so passionate about diabetes today, millions die each year from diabetes complications. It takes more lives than AIDS and cancer combined but does not get the true attention it deserves. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one reason I am on my nationwide RV tour with Shire and Heal together to raise awareness of diabetes and its complications and ways to avoid those nasty complications. N: Type 2 diabetes usually strikes adults, but it is emerging earlier, especially among minority youth. It has spread to nearly one in four U.S. teenagers. What must be done to reverse this trend? C: Education, if only I had a class in school on diabetes, that class could have been 30 minutes by anyone, someone that could have just said this is what diabetes is and this is how you can get it with a bad diet, lack of exercise. If we understood how bad soda and the crabs, the junk food and processed foods were. If I understood that stress and lack of sleep all played a role I would of at least had a fighting chance. Its almost like

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someone does not want us to know, like they want people to get this disease because there’s so much money in it, because only 30 minutes of teaching this could save millions of lives. N:Can you explain the correlation between eating a poor diet, a sedentary lifestyle and Type 2 diabetes?

lead to type2, and lets face it, I also needed to loose about 20 pounds, when I look back at some pictures I don’t like what I was seeing. N: What advice would you give a person ho has been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes and who has relegated his life to a regiment of daily injections of insulin?

C: I think I was the poster child for this disease. I worked out a lot but

C: Find a Dr that will work with you that will give you great advice, say to them I want to get off of this medicine or I want to be able to lower this medicine as much as I can, if they can help with that find another one.

never did any cardio. I stayed up late and ate very late and of course I ate processed foods and carbs while drinking ginger ale because I thought it was healthier because of the ginger, not sure what I was thinking. I was stressed with work and my sleep was about 5 hours if that a night then I was up right back to work again. All of these things are factors in diabetes. I didn’t know about diabetes so I never thought I could get it, I thought it was only from family history and I didn’t have anyone in my family with it. So poor diet and bad health choices can

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These Dr’s work for you, many seem to be very lazy and don’t have the time and think medicine is the first line of defense, they wanted to put me on meds and I said no. I have never been on meds and plan to stay that way, at least I hope I will but you can be sure I'm fighting hard each day. I have seen people loose weight and get off insulin, so I would say find a Dr or diabetes educator and talk with them about getting off meds, meds in itself is not the full answer as meds don’t force you to change your diet or change the way you live your life. For many it’s a easy fix and your body is still in a war because diabetes attacks every organ in your body. N: Will you explain how diet and exercise helps to defeat Type 2 diabetes? C: For me and many others, exercise is key, most of diabetes is found in the gut or stomach, many of us need to loose the weight, and I'm talking type2. We loose the weight or the gut and change the way we eat, we stay away from the carbs and starch and

sugars and processed foods we beat diabetes. That’s not to say you won’t need meds but you can be in control of your life. It takes a serious look in your bathroom or bedroom mirror and saying what do I need to do to live. N: From your experience, what food groups have you found to most effective in regulating blood sugar? C:This is very easy, veggies and fruit with lots of water. If you want some lean meats make sure they are backed and portion control is key, also try and stay away from the salt, salad dressing and oils. N: How is your health today? C:I am doing great, I don’t take meds I exercise everyday, I eat very good, I do slip from time to time but that’s life and a slip here and there is ok, and when I mean slip I may 129

eat a steak or something like that, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a healthy slip for the most part. But so far so good. I also take supplements, this is very key and not spoke about much, I take a few products that help with making sure my body is getting the help it needs. I take Syntra5 that helps regulate my blood sugar; I also take a product immunocal that is Glutathione and that is the master anti oxidant, this is key for diabetes. So I am helping my body to stay healthy, most think the medicine is enough, most die from heart disease so this can help us staff of those issues, when we truly regulate our sugar. Make sure you talk with your Dr before you take anything and ask your Dr about ways to protect your body. N:I see you are gearing up for your second national diabetic testing R.V. tour. Besides testing clients for diabetes, what other information you

share with your clients in an

attempt to raise their awareness to this deadly disease? C:To be honest I am very blunt in a loving way, I let them know this will kill you, can you live a good life yes you can but it will take you owning up to diabetes and working very hard and changing your life but if you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t take this serious and educate yourself you can die. I have seen to many amputations and with 4.8 million deaths from diabetes complications last year its finding a home. So take this serious and change 130

your life, because you don’t have to keep going down this road. N: When you are not touring the country to raise the awareness of Type 2 diabetes or making appearances on T.V. promoting healthy eating, how do you spend your

try and take his humble ways and his passion for people and that’s what motivates me, I truly love the people. N:Did you ever consider pursuing music as a career?

C:I did when I was young, I had albums leisure time? out with major labels and just finished C: I try to head to my home island of a new reggae song called ‘In a Babylon” Jamaica and have fun in the sun like so if you have a record company and they say, or hang out with my kids want to give me a deal give me a call, and do very simple things. I like quiet it’s a really good song to be honest, I times cause I travel so much and just have a few others I’m working on with need the time to meditate and focus a great legend in the game Eugene Grey on godly things. and Douglas Gooden. But the real foN:Besides eating healthy do you cus is the film and the new diabetes rehave a regular exercise program that ality TV show I am producing that’s like the biggest looser but for diabetes and you follow? the RV tour but I do make songs on the C:Walk and ride my bike and swim. side. Hey its in the blood na man. lol N:How has being the nephew of Bob N:Thanks for the interview, the honesty Marley impacted your life and opportuand we wish you much success in your nities? sincere effort to make a difference in C:Not really, I don’t use that much, people's lives. it has impacted me personally beC: Much love and make sure you concause I have a uncle that came from tact me for more info . very little and made a big impact on http://charlesmattocks.com the lives of millions. So I know that I have that same blood and I have a great role model to follow after, I 131

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Comedy Corner:

Arsenio Hallâ&#x20AC;Ś Back in the Saddle By: Comedian Marc Howard

Hey everybody, an icon has made a huge comeback. Not just a black one, but an icon to all whether others believe it or not. Arsenio Hall made his return home on the couch to late night television. The show debuted last Sept 9, 2013, it's been a huge success. His debut night got number 1 ratings, it's fallen off a bit since but the show is holding it weight in the 18-49 demographic. You know it's so great to see some "ole skool" make it's way back like Arsenio did. For those who don't know in a time when there were so few of us doing things in the world Arsenio was one the African Americans who broke new ground in a strong genre and was doing it in a way that whites were scared to

even think about. From the 80's where Oprah Winfrey was slowly becoming so huge that I don't think she's recognized as a black woman anymore. I swear to you I have a buddy I worked with who's a white woman who believes she looks like Oprah(that's incredible). Eddie Murphy was the top box office draw over Arnold Swarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, and Bruce Willis. Spike Lee was breaking ground as a great film 134

director. When the 90's ushered in a new era of urban comedy with Def Comedy Jam, and Comic View. Arsenio was breaking ground as the 1st and only late night talk show host. Going up against Carson, until Leno took over, and then Letterman when he moved from Late Late night to the Late night. Those guys had a network backing them for an audience Carson/Leno NBC, Letterman moved to CBS to get his show (No Jimmy Kemmel yet), Arsenio was syndicated through Paramount. Now just to make sure everyone knows what that really means, Networks hold there spots in every market so what they put on every market gets. Syndication means that the affiliate tv channels in each market have the choice to buy the show and air it however they want. Now I remember being a college student at Langston University in the state of Oklahomaconservative for sure the affiliate channels aired his show, but those networks went off the air at 1am-so country, so they aired Arsenio's show at 12:30 so you only got to see a half hour of it. So needless to say not having a network was almost like using YouTube to get seen in many ways. The Arsenio Hall show (that was then, then latest show is name Arsenio) started in 1989 and went on for only a short while actually to 1994. I was bummed for many reason back then. As a comic I just moved to LA in Dec 93 and he was giving comics a spot light to perform so I so hoped to get an opportunity with him because it 135

would've done wonders for my career. As a TV fan I loved his show and didn't see why it didn't last. As a black man I knew that they fucked him because he took the risk of having Minister Louis Farrakan as a guest on his show, then all of a sudden "his ratings were low." Right........ Arsenio being back shows that Late Night talk is his baby. After his 1st show was cancelled, Hollywood made a few feeble attempts to replace Arsenio with some Urban Late Night talk shows. Keenan Ivory Wayans, Quincy Jones produced a show name Vibe-after his magazine, and 1st chose an up and coming stand up comic Chris Spencer to host, but unfortunately Chris wasn't ready for that big stage. Chris is my boy, and I really believe that he would be great to host a show today. Then Vibe replaced him with Sinbad who couldn't make it work either. BET attempted Late Night a couple of times, but they both failed. So Arsenio goes on the Celebrity Apprentice and wins that and announced that he wants to come back. So glad he did, and I'm so glad it's working. I hope to get that opportunity that I missed the last time. Either way I still will watch, I hope you will too.

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By: Angela Williams

I laugh when I see "Ladies don't take advice from your single girlfriends because it can break up your relationship". I shake my head at "Your single friends may be keeping you single". And I shrug at "Fellas your single guy friends don't want you to settle down". I laugh not in humor, but in disbelief. It appears that the single and unattached get a lot of blame for the demise of many relationships. Actually, I should say the advice from single friends has caused the end of some relationships. I disagree. Now we all have free will to follow advice or not. We decide what we will follow. Most times when you seek advice you pretty much know what you want to hear. You go in search of that friend or random person who will give voice and validation to what you truly want to do. So saying Nelly Poo told you it was okay to cheat on your man was asinine, especially when you know she has no idea what monogamy means. So saying your buddy Cletus told you to dump your woman because you were not ready to settle down is foolish, especially when you know he believes in

hittin' it and quittin' it. You decide who you take advice from regardless of their relationship status. You can decide to listen to a voice of reason that will lay out the pros and cons of your impending decision and guide you to the best decision for you... or you can decide to mute the voice of reason. You can decide to seek out and listen to the advice that mirrors what you want to do regardless of the consequences. The choice is always yours. The one thing I always tell my single friends who are embarking on a new relationship is to keep it to themselves as long as possible. I think they should build a cocoon around their relationship and give it a chance to grow without the interference of others. Granted, when you're in a relationship you want to shout it out from the rooftops, but hold off a bit. A romantic relationship is between two people. At the start you're trying to learn the dynamics of how you two will dance together as a couple. There are issues you will have to work out to determine if this is truly a good match. It's a learning process and a period of unification.

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While you're in the relationship cocoon you're deciding if you are going to be a couple or not. If you decide that it's not going to work, then you move on dealing with just your emotions instead of having to deal with your feelings and those of others. If you decide you are a couple, then you're building a strong, unified front against the well-meaning, but unwanted interference of family and friends. Once you go public with your relationship there will be the genuinely happy as well as those who will try to insinuate themselves into the relationship. When you have taken the time to quietly and truly build a bond with you partner it may be a bit easier to deal with some of the outside "help" you may encounter. In building that bond you've set boundaries as to what you will tolerate and what will not be tolerated from others concerning your relationship.

reography won't change when others are introduced. The couple won't get lost. They will continue to do their dance. A relationship that is strong will withstand outside influence. A relationship that is strong will withstand outside interference. Two people in a strong relationship will communicate with each other to solve any issues that arise. If they can't resolve their issues, then they will seek advice and counseling from a voice of reason..... single, married or professional. A strong relationship isn't derailed by the single friends or the married friends. A strong relationship keeps dancing even when a step is missed. A strong relationship recovers and becomes stronger.

A relationship started in the public eye can be a dance of chaos. The couple, if they are not strong together, can be lost amid the advice and suggestions of people who are not a part of the relationship. A relationship started in private has the chance to develop its own dance steps and the cho139

"There's

nothing sexier than a man who gets off on getting women off. A lot of the time, pop culture associates the gangsta lifestyle with men who don't care about the feelings of the women they have sex with, but Daddy Rich's writing demonstrates just how wrong that stereotype can be -- this is a guy whose own pleasure is tightly interwoven with making sure that his lady is having the time of her life. His enthusiasm and dedication make for some seriously hot and heavy reading for anyone, be they someone who likes to give oral or someone who likes to get it. Daddy Rich's writing celebrates the art of going down with a gusto not seen since Linda Lovelace learned to deep throat." ***Bestselling erotica writer Mary Borsellino's story 'Blush', originally written for a collection of oral sex stories, was chosen for Best Women's Erotica 2013 by Cleis Press. Her site is http://maryborsellino.com 140