Urban Image Magazine September/ October 2013 Issue by Urban Image Magazine

Table of contents

I just want to thank you for reading Urban Image Magazine every month. For those of you who are viewing our publication for the first time, welcome. Urban Image is a family. We welcome your feedback, join our fan page and participate in our discussions. Spread the word and tell your friends about us. Urban Image is the lace where you can shine. If you're out there trying to make it in the business world or the entertainment industry shoot us an email. We're building a strong netEditorial work of independents who support one another. Together we can make it happen. I want to take the time out to thank Melinda F. Emerson or enlightening us with her knowledge. Be sure to check out her interview. She hit us with alot of insight. I just want to send a shot out to my baby sis, I love you Nikki. Thanks for all you do. I live through Urban Image, it's what I look forward to everyday. To my writers and to my staff; I appreciate you guys for giving me the opportunity to work with you to create something positive that can be around long after we're gone. It's realy beginning to sink in. Urban Image isn't even about me. It's way bigger than me, it's about us; The people who help create it and those of you who read it. That's what makes it so special. I love ya'll, I mean that. Until next time. Peace and Love,

My name is Richarh Aswanu AKA Daddy Rich. I am the CEO and founder here at Urban Image Magazine and GangstatLit. Writing is not a phase in my life, it defines who I am. I’m a man on a mission. I want my freedom! This is why I write! I have been locked Meet our down for 8 years but have published 3 staff books thus far. I have my own style that separates me from other authors. I created Urban Image to serve as a publication you can be proud of. It is our aim to dissolve the negative stereotypes associated with the “Urban Community”. We will inform, educate, entertain and inspire our readers.

In addition to providing you with thought provoking content, Urban Image Magazine will showcase talents who haven’t had the opportunity to reach mainstream media outlets. Urban Image Magazine was founded as a life changing movement for all that are involved in our mission. We are a stage for those without a platform to have a spotlight. Published to be accessible online, this magazine is designed to serve as a catalyst to success, a place where you can network with like-minded people who are in pursuit of their dreams. 9

Hello, my name is Denetra “Queen GangstaLit” Key or better known as D Queen. I am the president here at Urban Image. I am a mother of three and also a 15 year nurse by profession. I also am our magazine layout designer… so I hope you enjoy my art. There are some topics that arise in life that strike a cord with me and I will comment on those issues. My articles and blogs are to shed light on issues that are dear to my heart! I apologize in advance if I offend. But my pieces are based on my opinion. Our opinions reflect that we are individual children of God. One promise I can make is that I will report on the topics of my choice in as accurate fashion as I can. I welcome you to leave your comments good or bad in regards to work. I actually appreciate it! Your views give me insight. Thank you for visiting our page. While your here please take the time to browse around and look at our mag. It's gorgeous. I did the layout myself and am quite proud of it! Thanks again and God Bless!

EmiajAhdai is from Greensboro, North Carolina. She is our Fashion and Arts Blogger, our Managing Editor and recently promoted to Vice President. She is currently working on her first novel, and is a contributor to

Talia Rice has a personal blog, diamondpublicationz.wordpress.com where she Meet our staff ture. She brings us a unique look on love and relationships talks about everything involving writing through her Single and Ready to Mingle blog and her column and sprinkles in her own work too. She Ask Emiaj. This little woman wears a lot of hats but she has a big freelances for Fashion At Large and is a heart. You would never believer that she started out just blogging contributing blogger for Urban Image with us in her spare time. She believes in hard work and dedica- Magazine. Without Consent is the psytion will pay off in the end. Look for her name among the stars. chological thriller she has finished and editing. Currently she is writing a novel inTaylor Danes “Our volving human trafficking called Dear DadAssistant Vice President” is from Ordy. Future works include a sex anthology, a ange, NJ, she is one women's guide for getting back to the basics of our bloggers as of their true self and a how-to on reigniting well as Managing your passion for writing with a twist. Conassistant. She is currently working on nect with her on Twitter, Facebook, or read a advice page on Facebook and managing her her works on Scribd.com. LAID: Young People’s Experiences with sex in an easy access cul-

own blog as well .

Meet our staff

Comedian Marc Howard has pre-

KIMBERLEY R. JASPER was raised in Jamaica Queens, New York and still describes herself as a true New Yorker through and through despite currently residing in Humble, Texas with her fami-

ly. After selfpublishing her first

formed stand up comedy for over 20 years. Originally started in his home town of Washington DC, and won a big competition in the area Coors Light Super Talent Showcase in his 1st 2 years. He later moved to New York City to test his talents and grow as a comic, he performed at the Apollo, and the variety show Uptown Comedy Club in Harlem as well. A year later Marc took his talents to the Pacific and moved to Los Angeles in 93. Since then he's been staff Comic View, HBO Def Comedy Jam, a veteranMeet of our BET's & Comedy Spot on TVOne. Been seen on Martin, in feature film Tears Of A Clown starring Don DC Curry. Marc has also done voice over work on a the It's Your World that was featured for years on Tom Joyner Morning Show. He has performed across the globe doing comedy clubs, colleges, and theaters. He has performed for our military local and abroad. Areas such as Kosovo, Iraq, and Afganistan. Now he's adding writing to his resume, along with stage plays, and commercial work.

novel, she is now

Brenda Tashae is a young en-

fulfilling her purpose and passion

trepreneur, from Thibodaux,

as a writer. From horror fiction with

Louisiana. She is our the Ur-

a mystical twist to

ban Literature blogger for the

erotic thrillers,

website. She is also a promot-

this author can do

er, and poet. She resides in

it all with well-

Donaldsonville, La where she

seasoned finesse.

is currently working on her first poetry book. 12

Stephen Rodriques was born in Brooklyn to two Jamaican parents. Raised in Queens New York during the dawn of Hip Hop culture was the key factor that molded Stephen's future ideas and outlook on life.

Angela Williams is just now beginning to explore the possibilities opened to her. She is an avid reader who sometimes lets her imagination run wild. A lover of animals she shares living space with two dogs and a cantankerous cat. No stranger to being told what canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be done she tries to empower those around her. She believes that youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re never late for your dream, you always arrive right on time. At the present time she is residing in Chesapeake, VA and working on a book of poetry.

His motto is Dogs, cats, women, children, the elderly, men pregnant ladies, handicapped people, the deaf, dumb and blind can all get it.

By: AJ Whitsett

Dear Emiaj, There has been a situation that has been plaguing my mind. A man's best friend has an incurable STD and has been living with it since his late

teens. He now has a new girlfriend who's a virgin. He's not willing to tell her because he feels it will mess his chances up loves him and can see him as her husthan to see his pal happy but he also doesn't want a band. Then on the other hand she can become upset and yes leave. He has to woman's life possibly destroyed if things don't work be grown up enough to accept any one of her reactions. Naturally before havout. Should he tell the woman or stay out of it? ing sex they need to have a discussion. A Friend Concerned Since she is a virgin she is may not have much to say. Since he is not he Dear Friend Concerned, has a lot to say and he needs to discuss This is a very touchy subject. I alhis past with her. ways believe that honesty is very imNow, for you; I think you should portant in any situation. This really mind yours. I say that because it is calls for that honest moment. This not your place to tell. You need to be friend seriously needs to come clean with his girlfriend. Here is why I say there for your friend for when he comes that; he is making her decision for her to you and ask you for your opinion. by not telling her. I know you said he Be his support system. I am going to is concerned about losing a great wom- be honest I would not want to hear information second hand. I want to hear an if he tells. Well he stands that it straight from the horseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mouth that chance still by not telling her. If he tells her it gives her the chance to make drank the water. (Yes I am country). I up her own mind. She could even say seriously would want to hear from him. You have to look at the conseâ&#x20AC;&#x153;Ok thank you for telling meâ&#x20AC;? and make the decision to stay because she quences of with a great woman. His friend wants nothing more

telling him and not letting him tell it. 1) You could lose your friendship. 2) He will be very upset with you. 3) She may not believe you and not trust anything you even say. Do you get the picture there? Let him tell her on his own terms. You just be there as support to him.

swers. Have you ever noticed when one of them gets married then all the rest start getting married too? That is neither here or there. You don’t have to force the conversation on men and you don’t give them ultimatums. “I am leaving if you don’t marry me.” When he hits you with “Bye”; what are you going to do? Cool out on that for a moment and just see what happens.

Emiaj Dear Emiaj, I have been in my relationship for over five years, and it is safe to say I am ready to get married. Every time I bring it up to my boyfriend he changes the subject. I will be thirty in a couple of years. I want to be done having kids by that time, but I want to be married first. We are financially stable and live together. I am not sure why he is not wanting make the commitment to me. If something doesn’t happen soon, I think I will call it quits on the relationship. How should I handle this?

Here are my thoughts about living together. I think couples should live together once they are engaged to be married and see what it is like. Sleeping over and living with someone every day are two different stories and sometime a horse of another color, He has got comfortable why go to the store and get the milk and you already have the cow at home. You all may need to be in different places for a year.

Ready to be married

I understand you want kids before thirty, but women have kids every Dear Ready to be married, day after thirty. I would seriously Your question made me ask my- stop putting a timeline on life. Life is self a question; is there really a time- about living it and going with the line to when someone should get mar- flow. When the time comes and God ried? Then myself said “Well accord- has that in your plan you will be ing to parts of your life there are but to ready for now enjoy being child free. others no.” You feel like you are ready to be married he doesn’t. Men are fun- Emiaj ny like that. I love them to death but they are strange creatures. (Men don’t email me bashing me). Majority of the time they look to their boys for the an24

Dear Emiaj, I have been racking my brain about my current situation. My ex and I have decided to try our relationship again. We have a son together and have not dated one another in about seven years. There are things about me that have changed and he is looking for the same old me. We have had our share of ups and downs but I really want to try to make this work. Not just for our son’s sake but for us as well. Like I said before I have changed a lot from the woman I use to be when we dated before. I don’t tolerate a bunch of things that I would have tolerated back then. I am also not as giving as I was before. My relationship after him took a lot out of me and I am not quite sure if have any more to give. I know it is not fair to pull my last relationship issues into this relationship. I want to try but I am seriously not even sure what to really do. Can you please help me, Emiaj?

for a second; take as much time as you think you need. The fact that you all already have history and a kid together shows that you already have a connection, but he has to get to re-know you. Who you were seven years ago and who you are today are two different people. He has to get to know the new you. You even said you are less tolerable. You are not going to deal with the bull that he has to offer. He is probably really thinking “This is going to be like last time.” Open your mouth and voice that this not going to be the like the last time. People always want the past experience and it is time to add new ones to the life experience.

Seriously Confused

When you say you are less giving I am guessing you are speaking of love. Love is such a beautiful thing. It is especially when given to the right person. The last man was obviously the wrong one. This even goes back to my original statement. Take time out for you and get back to you; in that time soul search and date yourself.

Dear Seriously Confused,

Emiaj

I am going to be completely honest with you, put that all on pause. What that means is this; you have to get back to you. You even said it yourself the last relationship took a lot out of you. Anytime relationships do that I will be the first to say get back to you 25

Double Trouble By: Taylor Danes

First I would like to say thanks for all the well wishes and support. I’m so glad I am able to share this experience with you all!!!! Now that’s out the way; I guess your wondering what in the world happened right? Me too... I’ve been wondering the same thing for weeks now (3 weeks to be exact). I was 33 weeks and 4 days (7 ½ months), and I’m feeling Taylor’s Babies In Vitro fine; no pains or nothing just swollen feet and a huge appetite. I went to the doctor 7/18/13.The doctor told me I was fine. I had my ultra sound and the doctor said everything was checking out. I didn’t do anything outrageous when I got home from the doctor. I just ate a snack and laid around for the rest of the day. I didn’t even make dinner that night. I ordered some food and went to bed. Had I known all hell would break loose the next day, I might’ve just stayed at the hospital after my doctors appointment. Friday 7/19/13 I woke up, made breakfast, ate, watched a little TV, and waited for everyone else to wake up. Around 10:30 Marc told me his plans for the day got canceled so we were gonna go baby shopping. I showered, had lunch, and dressed lil mama. We were about to leave out the door and I started having stomach pains. I was thinking maybe I ate too much ,

Taylors Babies One Week After Their Birth

Sibling Rivalry: Does it EVER Get Better By: Denetra Key

This month I decided to bring to you this article about sibling rivalry because I totally lack understanding. I write according to what is going on in my everyday personal life. At this point in my life one of my biggest stressors is my oldest two children’s relationship or the lack there of. The attitudes, name calling back stabbing and fighting is quite over whelming and has become an absolute still joy in my life. I cannot relate to any of this drama or the dynamics of their relationship because I was an only child. All I remember coming up was how I wished I had a brother or sister to share my life with. I was lonely and wished I had a sister to be my best friend to get into mess with…to be my closest confidant. Or a brother to beat all the dudes who hurt my feelings up or scare dudes that he knew weren’t any good for me away! I have always heard other people tell stories about how they and their siblings fought like cats and dogs as children but get along great as adults but I do not see that in my girls’ future. They act like they hate each other and I have no idea why. My dilemma is that at one point the oldest two got along well…That was until I had the baby. Then well I can just say it ALL went downhill from there. So here’s the set up. My oldest who is seventeen has a very close relationship with my seven year old. My seven year old has kind of grown up looking at her as a second Mom versus a sister. She’s her go to person when I’m unavailable. However my middle daughter, who is fifteen by the way, does not get along with either one of her other two sisters. She constantly argues and fights with both of them. She gets along better with her halfsisters on her dads side that she’s just gotten to know over the last three to four years waaay better then she gets along with the sisters that she has lived with her whole life. 29

There were a lot of benefits to being an only child. I was and still am completely spoiled rotten (not bragging, just the truth). But when thinking about the responsibility of having to make important decisions for my mother in the future as she gets older, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d much rather have someone else to lean on and make those decisions with. I personally do not deal well with making decisions. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a true Libra and everyone knows that one of our traits is being indecisive. I am just that! So I can truly say that there are also many disadvantages as well. If you read my last article you know me and my girls have been through a lot in life. Mostly because of my bad decisions but regardless we have. The one thing that I always recognized is that we have gone through whatever situation together. Now there is absolutely no unity or family love between them and that hurts me to my heart. So what I decided to do was ask my staff to give their input on their position within their own families. I called out the oldest children, middle child syndrome child and of course the baby of the bunch to give me some short stories even opinions of family life with siblings. I hoped to get some sort of understanding with this piece, and I hope that that if you are going through anything remotely similar to what I am, that you do as well.

“The Responsible One” the oldest child: By: Ms. Deszion Nasir

ther. We would fight so badly at times that our friends would tell us we looked like prisoners in a yard fight and leave the house. What were the fights about? The ones I remember were usually something stupid. Mostly me telling him to do something he didn’t feel I had the right to tell him. Like I said earlier, me being the oldest didn’t mean jack squat to him. We were practically raised as twins.

Well, being the oldest you’d think it’d be a great experience, but meh. For one, there were only two of us. Second, we were only a couple of years apart, so that whole “Big sister privilege” deal was a crap shoot for me. My brother didn’t really see me as the “Big sister.” He As we matured into adults I did feel jealousy saw me as “The other opponent.” as our roles changed. I was out on my own My mother, however, saw me as the person reand I did see mother showing favoritism tosponsible for absolutely everything. When my ward her baby boy. I was still young and didparents divorced at 8, my mother got busy n’t see that my mother just assumed I didn’t with work and school and I became responsi- need her anymore. She turned all of her attenble for cooking, cleaning and eventually driv- tion on my brother and paid me little to none. ing my brother to and from football practices However, she began to treat me like a close girlfriend. This confused me and annoyed me. once I started working and got my own car. I wanted a mother, not a girlfriend. I never Me and my brother didn’t so much have sibling took it out on my brother, but I did harbor rivalry as we ended up having a…truce-like some resentment. When he went to college she existence most of the time. We didn’t compete went all out for after our parents divorced. It was more like to lions glaring at each other on opposite sides of the same cage. No growling, just…”You stay in your corner, I’ll stay on mine and nobody bleeds.” Oh, we fought at times, though. I’d tell him to do something, he’d decide that I wasn’t big enough –even though I was older we were the same height- to tell him what to do, and BOOMBEDLAM! The result was doors kicked off my mother’s house and punishments that lasted well into the summer. My mother never put those doors back on our rooms, ei31

him, sent him money, everything, but when I went to college, on my own, paid for everything on my own, I never got as much as a pat on my back. I was hurt and confused. I loved my brother, but didn’t know how to feel. I kind of felt abandoned. My brother was actually becoming spoiled a bit as a young adult instead of as a child and here I was living real life, doing it all on my own, and I couldn’t even call him and get through. I waited for him to call and get advice on college life, you know, chat it up with big sis…but the calls never came. I was hurt. But I still loved him. Eventually I learned to stop waiting for the future to do what I wanted and let it do what it was going to do. If you ever want to make God laugh, tell him YOUR, plans, you know? I let my confusion and minor resentment go and embraced my brother for who he was and who he is now. He turned out to be a great guy and a greater father. I love him to death and I take what we went through as a learning experience in life. I never really felt like I got to be a “textbook” big sister. But when I hear him talk to other people, he tells them I was the “best big sister” ever. So I guess I don’t have

“Middle Child Syndrome” the middle child By: Mr. Stephen Rodrigues I'm the middle child. The only son of four. That's me with three sisters. I can't say I was affected by that. I grew up during the beginnings of rap music in Queens New York. I wanted to learn how to break dance and write graffiti I was too busy to really care about being the middle child. There were so many abandoned buildings to run around in, vacant weeded lots to explore with an assortment of junk for a young boy like myself to throw rocks and break bottles. Exploring the mischief only made for a boy. I have two older sisters that I wasn't really close to due to their ages. So the chance to create chaos was left to my baby sister and me. My baby sister is who I developed the closest bond with. She is the sister I spent the most time with. We had fun. She was my running buddy. Creating havoc in the mall and yelling really loudly in the car with me. Silly stuff but fun.

We had our ups and downs she thought I was my mother’s favorite, which I hate to say was true. She was a daddy girl anyway. I did always wish I would have had the pleasure of having a brother, but couldn’t waste too much time wishing for something that wasn’t coming.

“The Baby of the Bunch” the youngest child: By: Ms. Emiaj AhDai

I am the younger of the two, yes the baby. Growing up with an older brother was It was a true event for my cool. I will not mother to have all four chilsay that we did dren in the house one day only not fight because we did. That is what siblings do. My brother to have my sisters’ try and threaten to beat me up. That was my bully but if anyone else messed with me he was my was funny. I still speak to my protector. . We are exactly two and half years apart. Matter of fact his birthday is September 13th; HAPPY BIRTHDAY little sister regularly she has BIG BROTHER! beautiful children as do my older sisters. I love my sister's When I say we fought we fought like cat and dogs. We and its a pleasure to be their would fight about things like using the phone to me wearing brother. Our time as siblings has worked out great at least I his shirts to school. Oh yes I went through that whole dress think so because they haven't like a boy stage. I believe we started to fight about the phone threatened to beat me up in a when I got into middle school and he was in high school; so imagine that life. I was becoming more social so talking on the while. phone was my thing; and my brother had the whole “the man” mode going on. We fought daily about the phone until my mom decided that he needed his own phone line. That solved that fight. Eventually I grew out of the whole dress like a boy thing and that stopped me from wearing my brother’s shirts. One piece of advice I will offer to younger siblings with older brothers, especially little sisters. Keep an eye out on “socalled” female friends. When I entered into high school my 33

brother was a senior. Right before school started my mother sat me down and said “You will be making new friends who truly want to get to know you; while others have a different motive of wanting to get closer to you to get to your brother.” My mother put that little piece of information in my ear and to this day I still watch the people who want to be friends with me. It was very true because there was one girl who did exactly that and I had to call her out on it. In typical female fashion she said “I am not interested in your brother.”

Here is another approach to our story by one of our staff members about being the adopted sibling: “Momma Said You Were Adopted” By: Ms. Angela Williams My sister and I had a normal relationship. Most days we loved each other, but some days….. I wanted to choke her. I was the baby of the family and I was spoiled. She was an only child for many years and then I came along. Don’t get me wrong it was more fun than anger because there was so much love. However, every now and then she would use the “you’re adopted” argument to win a disagreement.

Now my brother and I are very close. We don’t have to talk every day or see each other every day but when we do talk or see one another we laugh and joke like siblings do. We still have the occasional fight but again that is what siblings do. He is an awesome uncle to my daughter and I wouldn’t trade him for the world.

She would point out the difference in our skin color… she and my parents were a beautiful dark chocolate and I was a gorgeous café au latte. Then she went to the hair texture…their hair was soft and wavy and mine was curly. And all I could say was “SO?” I knew she loved me and we had each other’s backs. Then one day she said the “you’re adopted” thing one time to many. And I went to my Mom. My Mom hesitated and said “You are.”

I was in shock. She just looked at me. I wanted to cry. She came over and hugged me. That hug said all I needed to know. That hug said “You are my sister. I will fight for you and with you. I love you.” I walked around for 34

To sum it up all I can say is that I guess it’s the norm for siblings to have their fights and arguments, but I wish everyday could be a good day like the one below. That was my birthday last year and their Opening Night for their show choir...thus the costumes.

days just quiet. She didn’t pick on me. She didn’t try to make it better. She just was there just like a sister should be. When I was ready to talk she listened. I realized that I was loved and special. After she made sure I was okay she simply said “Now it’s true when I say Momma said you were adopted!” I laughed and she laughed. Yep, Momma said I was adopted and there were still times I wanted to choke a sister.

I feel as family especially as a family of all “Ladies” that we are all we got. I hope that as they mature, my girls relationship will get better. But as for now I just ask that ya’ll continue to pray for us, them and their relationships and me as their Mom. So that I have the strength and patience not to kill them before they can kill each other! Until next time take care!

25% By: Richarh Aswanu

About a month or so ago, I caught up with the June 2013 issue of Black Enterprise. I read the articles religiously every chance I get, studying them and taking notes like I'm preparing for a final exam. I use Black Enterprise as one of my tools for success. But something different happened when I opened this particular issue, I began to read the Publisher's Page written by Earl G. Graves Sr. and I was moved and deeply motivated by what he

wrote. He spoke on a lot of accomplishments African Americans have made since the historic march on Washington 50 years ago. Basically, he wrote that be-

cause of our developments as a race African Americans feel that we have overcome. "It's a nice, comforting, and even inspiring notion, but it's just not true." Mr. Graves wrote and I read on as my wheels began 37

to turn. "To write off the roughly 25% of African Americans still enmeshed in crushing poverty; underperforming public schools; rampant unemployment; substandard healthcare; cycles of violent crime and imprisonment; and dysfunctional underserved neighborhoods. To declare that we have overcome is to forget about those who Pulitzer Prize winning columnist Eugene Robinson labels in his book "Disintegration" as the abandoned." Hold on wait a second, "imprisonment", he's talk

ing about me.

trying to change but there's their life around? See, that's I'm in prison. I am a part no one there to help. I feel the problem with Black "abandoned". folks. And society wonders of the 25%. I want to do something to change my I've been reaching out for "why?" Why do young African American males go to assistance ever since we position in life as well as prison, come home, do the others who are similarly sit- launched Urban Image 3 same 'ole thing and go uated. I want to leave be- years ago. But nobody back? hind a road It's not beto success for cause we're my children stupid, it's to follow. Mr. because Graves inwe're hunspired me to gry. It's bestart a movecause when ment, the we want change, our 25%. I'm goown people ing to do snuff their everything I noses and can to reach turn their out to some heads, but of our black the neighseems to care about "some leaders and entrepreneurs borhood dope man is right inmate trying to run a magto see if we can turn this inthere waiting to put us back azine from prison". Here's to a non-profit organization in the game. You can't just my favorite, "I don't think preach change, there has to and get some programs be some feasible alternastarted. Let's get some edu- it's wise to associate my brand with someone who is tives. Like 8ball said years cation and come up with ago, "...in my ear tryna some solutions that actually incarcerated." Why not? Why wouldn't you want to kick some knowledge, I'm work. Because I've been not the one to there, I'm still there. Trying associate your "brand" with helping someone turn to do something positive, 38

knock it. But I can't hear over the echo from my empty pocket." We just need a shot.

tional methods. I'm one of them, and I want change.

We need practical education and guidance from those who have made it. The penitentiary is full of young black entrepreneurs who got caught up trying to finance their dreams in the streets due to a lack of conven-

I am part of the 25% and I am standing up to be counted. We need to come together, we need to show the world that we

are ready for change, and we need to show our black leaders and entrepreneurs that we are worth their time and energy. We need to or39

ganize, I can't launch this movement by myself. It's going to take a collective effort from those of us who meet the criteria outlined in this article as well as those who are in the situation to offer assistance. Join the fan page. Stand up and be counted.

Men aren’t the most complex creatures, but their simplicity is often misleading.

There are signs that

will let you know whether or not he’s really into you. When a man is into you, he demonstrates very subtle behaviors that we may overlook if not careful. While we may be more complex in our communication and interaction, men are way more primitive than us in that respect. If he exhibits any of these traits or behaviors with you, then it’s a really good sign that he is into you exclusively.

HE PLANS AHEAD

If he is making plans with you in advance, then you are somebody he sees himself with long-term. If he asks that you save dates for him on your calendar, then he definitely wants to make sure you know that you are the one. Flings are replaceable, but dates on the calendar circled in pen are a real good sign. He could take anybody, but he wants to be with you on that date. Good sign.

HE SHARES WITH YOU

Every boy has a clubhouse of sorts, a special place where he goes to hideout. Men are no different. If he invites you into his “hideout”, you’re really important to him. He’s sharing something with you that he may not have shared with anyone else. Make sure you pay attention because he may not announce it right away or make it a big deal, but it is to him. If he gives you the last bite on his plate or saves the last piece of cake for you, he’s a keeper. Men don’t share a lot, especially their food. If you get the last bite, he’s really into. Sharing his space and his food is always a good sign. 42

HE CELEBRATES YOU

If he really cares about you, he wants all the other things in your life to go as well as possible. If a man has clearly put time into thinking about your happiness and ways to celebrate with you, he is planning on being around for a while. He is making sure things in your future will be good because he plans on being with you and he wants to be with a woman who is happy. A happy woman will make him happy. Everyone wins.

4. HE PAYS ATTENTION TO YOUR NEEDS He’s attentive. There is no bigger sign than attentiveness. Not necessarily PDA, although that’s always nice, but little things like eye contact, his hand protectively on the small of your back, thumb across your lips. Any kind of tender touching is a good sign. Those moves come from the heart. They are instinctive so he really can’t help himself and he can’t fake it. If he’s tending to you, he cares about you. 43

5. HE CLARIFIES THINGS FOR YOU Men don’t like to explain themselves too much, if at all. If you find that your man is offering up an explanation for the “little things”, it truly means a lot. Did he forget to call you back? Take a couple of hours to text his reply? If you find that he offers up clarification with ease, it’s a good sign. Not that he’s concerned about you getting upset, men don’t think like that. The fact that he’s offering anything at all other than a shrug of his shoulders should definitely put him on the “keep” list. This behavior will surely improve and continue. It is a courtesy that he will not offer just any woman so don’t take it lightly.

HE BRAGS ABOUT YOU

Not that he’s keeping secrets, but if he’s not serious about you, no one knows about you. If he’s claiming you in any way, taking you with him to his friend’s BBQ and other social gatherings, he wants to show you off. With men, showing off is a good thing. He will make a point to introduce you and tell his friends about you. You’ll find him bragging about the strangest things, like your pretty feet, but his pride is a good thing and a great sign that he’s really into you.

Hi everybody! I'm Arnetta Badd and I am the face of GangstaLit. There's nothing like curling up with a suspenseful novel laced with a thrilling plot and erotic sex scenes. Daddy Rich is taking the game to the next level. He stepped on the scene in 2010 with his first release "Mack's Revenge", a gritty street novel loosely based on his life. "Mack's Revenge is where I learned how to write. It don't even compare to all my new shit." Daddy Rich said as he reflected on his debut that's recieved five star customer ratings on Amazon.com. "This is one of the best gangster novels I've read..." Melissa M. wrote in her review posted on Amazon. Then, he followed up in 2011 with "Shh...Beware of the Snitch Killer." It's an erotic thriller that kept me hot and at the edge of my seat. The plot, the sex, and the suspense are elements that compelled Anna of OOSA online book club to give the novel 4 out of 5 stars. "This book was off the chain...this book was written like someone was telling a story to one of the homies" Jordan wrote in her 5 star customer review posted on Amazon.com. Then Daddy Rich came right back in 2012 with a heart wrenching story "By any Means." It's a touching story of how far a father will go to save his daughter's life. It was awarded 5 stars by Smashwords.com and by Urban Image's Emiaj Ahdai. "It made me think of my daugter and what would I do in that situation..." Emiaj says in her review. Daddy Rich has been putting it down ever since he came in the door. I was able to have a little one on one with King GangstaLit himself to ask him what's up with his steamy collection of erotic short stories "Kitty Licker", and here's what he had to sayâ&#x20AC;Ś 47

Arnetta: Hey Daddy Rich, what's up witcha?

mate with a kitty than to get down there face to face- and lick it.

Daddy Rich: Just chillin, gettin ready Arnetta: Mmm (Fans herself) When are to drop Kitty Licker. you getting out? Arnetta: What's Kitty Licker all about? Daddy Rich: I don't know baby girl. I'm still fighting my case. Daddy Rich: It's a collection of erotic short stories. I wrote em' as I remi- Arnetta: What can we expect to see in nisced about some of the women in Kitty Licker? my past. Daddy Rich: The same explicit sex Arnetta: What inspired you yo write a you see in my novels minus a plot, lots of it. I just released a new sampiece like Kitty Licker? ple to give ya'll a taste of what to exDaddy Rich: As you know, I've been pect. locked up for the past eight years and all I have is memories and a few Arnetta: What separates Kitty Licker magazines you feel me? I wrote piec- from all the other erotica that's out es of Kitty Licker on late Saturday there? nights while listening to the radio. Daddy Rich: When I first wrote KitArnetta: A question alot of ladies is dy- ty Licker, I hadn't read any erotica before. I just went in. But as I started ing to know is; are you really a Kitty preparing for its release I began to Licker? ( Giggles) study the art and I haven't came Daddy Rich: (Laughs) Yes I am, and across any erotica written from the proud of it. Arguably the best that's perspective of a young black male ever done it. livin "that life". Every now and then, Arnetta: Why do you enjoy Licking the women wanna have sex with a gangsta. That's what Kitty Licker is going Kitty so much? to be like for the ladies, plus the hoDaddy Rich: I just love it. The taste, mies will respect it because it's not the smell, the way it feels on my lips. corny. There's no way to become more intiArnetta: I noticed you referred to eroti 48

ca as art, do you believe it's an art form? Daddy Rich: Yeah. Anytime you paint a picture in someone's mind whether it be with written words, brush, cameras or songs, it's art. Arnetta: So, when is Kitty Licker dropping? Daddy Rich: I'm not sure yet. Still waiting on my editor. Soon as she's done I'm going to get wit my team and we'll set a date. Arnetta: Thanks for taking the time to discuss Kitty Licker, I can't wait to read it. Daddy Rich: You're welcome.

By Angela Williams

V. was my best friend. She was everything that I was not. She was outgoing, talkative, the center of attention and confident in contrast to my being shy, quiet, blend into the background and unconfident. She was hard not to like and we became fast friends. The serious talks and the talks about nothing were our normal everyday routine. She was that friend that it wouldn’t have been a surprise to wake up in a jail cell with saying, “What the hell happened?” And she would have responded, “I don’t know, but we got to do that shit again! We won’t get caught next time!” We were a team. She always had my back and was my

constant cheerleader. And I always had her back no matter what. One day in one of our serious moments she confided in me that she was a lesbian. She went on to say that she would understand if I decided to end our friendship. In all my seriousness I confided that I was straight and loved men. I didn’t base our friendship on her sexual orientation and therefore our friendship wasn’t going to end. At that time I pictured us getting old and being bailed out of jail by her partner and my husband. Little did I know that would never happen in our lifetime. I remember it was April and we had started planning our summer adventures. 50

The official kick off was Memorial Day weekend. We had the cookouts lined up and the clubbing schedule in place. This would be our summer of unabashed fun. Our excitement level was high and we were impatiently patiently waiting. As the time ticked away V. complained about her hands and wrists being achy which she attributed to her carpal tunnel. Then in the beginning of May she complained about being constantly tired and achy, but she said she just needed to rest a bit more. A few days into May she declared that her fatigue and aches were the flu and she was going to just rest and get more sleep and take the necessary medicines to get better. When she didn’t get better her mother, brother, friends and I badgered her to go to the doctor. May 20th she went to the doctor. Her regular physician was on va-

cation and she saw the visiting physician. He gave her pain pills for her carpal tunnel, told her to rest and make an appointment to see her doctor. A week later when she saw her doctor she was admitted into the hospital for tests. This was not good. A couple of days after she got her test results she told me she had kidney cancer. Again she gave me permission to end our friendship because she knew how devastated I was when I watched my father battle colon cancer and she didn’t want me to go through that again. And again I rolled my eyes at her and told her I wasn’t going anywhere. All I wanted to know was what were we going to do to beat this. She smiled and said, “Just be my friend and my sister.” That was easy for me. In the first surgery the doctor removed the cancerous kidney. It was looking good. Her family, friends and romantic 51

partner focused on helping her heal and stay positive. She apologized for the change in our summer plans and all I could do was to hug her gently and let her know we had next summer to rock the world. I was so thankful that she was alive and on the mend. However, being her friend and knowing her so well I knew something wasn’t right. I asked her for the truth. She smiled sadly and told me the cancer had spread. There was a second surgery scheduled. Once again I wanted to know what she needed from me. She said, “When I told you I was a lesbian you smiled and said that wouldn’t stop you from being my friend. Will you be my friend when I lose my hair? Will you still be my friend when I’m too sick to move? Will you still be my friend when the pain is too

much to bear and I need you to hold my hand? Will you sneak me food when I get tired of the hospital stuff? Will you smile even though you want to cry?” Whew! I hesitated before I answered because I wanted her to know that our friendship was stronger than the cancer that threatened her body. “Even when you lose your nappy hair I’ll be here with your chunky earrings and makeup to let you get your cuteness on, but then I’ll tell you it’s not needed because you’re beautiful. I’ll even shave my head so we have matching hairstyles. When you’re too sick to move I’ll help you. When the pain is too much and you need a hand to hold remember I got two. I’ll have the Moseberth’s chicken with fries, hushpuppies, hot sauce and a sweet tea ready when you need some real food. I’ll smile through my tears.” At that moment 52

I knew this cancer would take my best friend. The second surgery was scheduled for a Friday. She insisted that her friends go to work because her mother and brother would keep us informed. She also said she needed us to earn some money because she was expecting some really cool, expensive gifts from us. Throughout the day I got updates on how things were going with her. At around 6pm we called the hospital to check on her. We were told that there was no patient there by her name. Shocked we checked to checked to make sure we had the right number. While we were checking the number her mother called and said that V. had died around 6pm. In my heart I had already known that. Death had taken my best friend. My heart ached. I

smiled as I cried because I had made her a promise. V. was buried before the fourth of July. After her death I was depressed for weeks. I went to work and came back home. I closed myself off from everyone. It was hard to explain my pain because I felt no one understood. I was being selfish because I never acknowledged that others were hurting. It hit me the day that our friend Larry looked at a chair she normally sat in and he just broke down and cried. At that moment I realized I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t the only one who lost a friend. Death is an equal opportunist. It doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t care about wealth, race, education, personality, popularity or looks. It takes from you your loved ones with no remorse. The only thing that we can do is

the New Season. Take a chance to record everything you want and need and be truly sincere about your direction, even though this is not normally the way you move. It could be enlightening. You are feeling and acting so wonderful the 1st of Oct 2013 and at the center of the 30 days. Venus transits through your house of connections and gives the ignition that you need to take people under your wing. Appreciate enough time with co-workers and your associates and let them know what you're really like: expose them to some of your interest and share a little of your time. On the fifteenth of Oct your public interaction will get a large increase from Mars and Virgo enjoying in your home of family associates.

SAGGITARIUS Sagittarius, from the 7th of Oct 2013 on to the end of the month of your energy and fascination will be great as Venus goes through you. You can wish upon a celebrity during this effort and your desires will be provided, it seeems. Reflect on what your goals and desires are and think of them arriving realistically. This will definitely help them along. After the twentieth when Mercury transits through Scorpio you will find out that you are extremely moved or touched by something said that reminds you of a loved one who are deceased. Relationships are ideal during this months in your your home of connections. You can find that things should be delightfully simple during this effort and you will tell those around you 59

that you regard them dearly. Your public interaction will improve and if you are single you might find out that relationship possibilities are improved. If you are dedicated an enjoyable time with no justifications will take place. Money and achievements are very effective from the 1st to the fifteenth of Oct 2013. Mars transits through Virgo and stands out on your bank statement. You have an opportunity to improve your earnings during this efforts and it may be an improvement, a reward or a second job; take good care, however, not to hurry through your performance. CAPRICORN Capricorn, take a chance to reflect and pay attention to your inner speech as Venus goes into Sagittarius and your home of goals. Keep a pad of the

document and a pen by your bed so you can create down the goals you have during the evening while you are relaxing and thoughtful. Great ideas that have/could be turned into problems in your life will be exposed to you through goals. Discover a senior individual who is clear and ask them for guidance. They might provide you with a different viewpoint before you become frustrated. Family problems on the 4th and eleventh will need your attention. You need to fix problems before they affect your profession. Capricorns DO NOT like their money messed with! Take good care that you do not let close relatives damage what you have tried so difficult to develop up. Search for the guidance and assistance of your manager and a best bud-

dy. Do not be alone and try to fix everything yourself. AQUARIUS Aquarius, during Oct 2013 you may need to come up with a strategy in advance to see buddies. Venus goes into Sagittarius and your home on the relationship and on the 7th you may be forced to toss a public event. A buddy might give you exciting details around the sixteenth and this will carry a beneficial gain to you. Use social networking and public social networking around the sixteenth to improve your profession. Do not journey during the week's time of Oct 4th and the new celestial satellite in Libra and your home of journey. Be very careful during tasks and during your everyday life. A strange lunar power might just induce 60

injuries. You will discover that the difficulties happen with an in-law and the moment is not good for any lawful issues. PISCES Pisces in Oct your professional position improves. Your profession is very beneficial and this month should be used to discover advantages with your manager. Store for good deals during the month and make sure they are professional ones that will take you through the end of the season. Store on the fifteenth or the sixteenth for the best good deals. Focus on connections when Mars goes through your home of connections. If you are in several, you will discover a rise in interest but you are also likely to be short -tempered with those around you. Every now and then, there will be severe arguments this

Not Bonding By: Talia Rice

â&#x20AC;&#x153;I just had a baby girl, a baby that I was so looking forward to having and I totally donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t feel like a mother to her.â&#x20AC;? Mothers are nurturers by nature, or at least that is the rule right? So what if a mother goes through nine months of bonding while baby is in their stomach, excited and glowing about the baby she wanted so badly and as soon as they deliver and see the small human being they immediately do not want to have anything to do with it?

subject. No one wants to admit that they did not love their baby as soon as they delivered. Tamar Braxton known for her outlandish conversations and over the top mannerisms and life has admitted to not immediately bonding with her son after he was born. She admits to not having that moment where she was so excited to have a baby or that moment of gushing over the bundle Figure 1" Is this the wrong child? Am I the wrong of boy and when she tried mother?"Tamar in a recent interview. to breastfeed the baby she What then? Are they a bad really had problems because parent? Surprisingly this he would not latch on. happens more than you Tamar felt jealousy toward know. Thing is, no one her husband and his relawants to talk about it be- tionship with his son because it is such a taboo cause they immediately fell 63

in love with each other. Tamar got flack for saying this because no one could fathom how a mother could not bond with a blessing such as a newborn. But a lot of women thanked her as well because this is such a touchy subject that no one wants to talk about and she had opened that door for this topic to be discussed so many motherhood. Ladies and fellas realize that you are not alone and that not bonding when the baby is born is the first hers can heal and enjoy mother reaction but not the permanent situation.

Twenty percent of moms and dads feel no real connection when their newborn was born. It may take actually weeks or months before the nurturing part kicks in. But why in the world can’t mothers or fathers bond? There are several different reasons why. The baby was premature and in NICU. It is a proven fact that if a baby is in NICU for long periods of time their development is delayed. Not only that parent’s bond time and connection will be delayed as well so one may not immediately love the bundle of joy they just delivered. The baby was adopted. Adoption is a tricky and sensitive subject when it comes to bonding. It is normal to not connect right away because that baby did not physically come out of the adoptive mother’s

womb. The baby was born through a c-section. When a mother has a c-section sometimes it is down when the parent is under eliminating the moment of oohs and awws that usually come after pushing a baby out. It could be several hours before that

mother can even see the baby they created postponing the initial bonding moment. Problems that arises between father and mother. Lets be real here, not all parents are the Huxtables. More and more single par64

ents come in than we can count to deliver babies alone. If there is serious blood boiling between the two during the pregnancy chances are the mother may not connect with the child because he/she is a reminder of what they are going through. Mother cannot breastfeed. Breastfeeding is the ultimate symbol of bonding when it comes to a mother. Many mothers think this process to be sacred and if not successful will mean they are not good mothers and do not deserve to have these children. Lets ask this. Is it better to know you don’t have a bond with your baby early and put the baby up for an adoption or is it better to raise the child and never bond with that child? What kind of life would that child have if they knew their mother or father never loved him?

CBeautyArt By: Christopher Brown

The CBeautyArt Column would like to welcome all our readers to another highly celebrated issue of Urban Image Magazine. As you know my name is Christopher Brown, Art Columnist for UIM, and this month I am here to introduce you to Neci, Owner/CEO of Strangfrut Productions. What an AMAZING run Neci has had in the industry of hair and skin care. Studying at MarPelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Beauty Academy gave Neci the foundation she needed to begin her journey which gave her all her basic understanding of hair care. This lead her into working in a salon which she admits made it hard for her to incorporate a more holistic approach to body and skin care. This realization prompted her

to purse more education. Neci was awarded a full scholarship to the acclaimed Brown Aveda Institute earning her license and certification. Studying fashion at Kent State University also helped develop her business

was much needed in the industry. Working as a cosmetic and skin care representative for Fashion Fair and Clarins gave Neci experience, enabling her to get closer to her true vision Strangfrut. While managing several National Health & Nutrition Centers in Cleveland, Ohio, Neci made the decision to create her own line of organic and all natural hair and skin care products called, Epiphany. Neci feels that all her life experiences helped her create the line of Hair and Body products that are well above the rest. She feels that a product free of chemicals is the best solution for anyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s body and soul! I would like to thank Neci for all her continued support of the arts! Remember we must keep the arts aliveâ&#x20AC;Ś For more information on Neci, go to www.CBeautyArt.com and click on the art show tab. STAY TUNED FOR MORE UPCOMING ARTISTS!

Introducing UIM’s First Ever Talent Search Winner:

The People’s Choice Chozen D!

UIM fam you picked him the one and only Chozen D. Rocked our tal

search with his highly motivational single “Dreamer”. Well you can t

this young man has more than a dream in his plans making banging to uplift and encouraging our youth.. Take some time to get to know

winner!

Denetra: Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s up Chozen? How are you today? Chozen D: I'm doing good, can't complain. Denetra: How does it feel to be the first ever winner of the Urban Image Magazine Talent search? Chozen: Feels pretty good, I didn't know I was the first winner so that's cool. Denetra: What events in life made you know at nine years young that you want to be a musical performer? Chozen: I've always had a passion for music since young, from playing the drums at church, singing in the choir and writing my first song at age 9. It's a thing where I couldn't see myself doing anything else. Denetra: Do you have a definite role model that has had great influence over your life?

lent

tell

g hit our

Chozen: If I had to name a role model it would have to be my mom. She has had a lot of influence over theses years and has stuck by my side through good and bad. I've learned a lot from her and have the upmost respect for her raising me and my brother as a single mom. Denetra: How important do you feel that it is for our youth to have someone to look up to and guide them along lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s path?

Chozen: I think it's very important for the youth to have positive figures to look up to. As youth we need guidance so that a lot of mistakes and bad decisions can be avoided. It's always better to learn from others mistakes that have been through things before us rather than learn the hard way. 69

Denetra: The single you sent in for the talent search “Dreamer” was hot, and it’s evident your fans came out to support. So when can we plan to see an album drop from Chozen D? Chozen: Thank you!! And I'm very grateful for the people that supported. The album entitled "The Transition" is already finished and will be released before the year is out via iTunes. I plan on shooting a few more videos to help promote it and gain momentum for the release before I put it out. Denetra: What is your favorite part about being a performer?

like to leave Urban Image Magazine readers about Chozen D? And don’t forget about your shout outs. Chozen: Thank you for allowing me the opportunity, and if I could leave you with anything about Chozen, just look for me to continue to make great music to inspire the world. I would like to thank first and for most to God for giving me this talent and gift. Secondly, my mom for being my biggest supporter, and homie Kai for believing in the vision, my producer J.Ahmad for creating timeless music with me, my homie and favorite artist Kyron Leslie and all the TeamChozen supporters. DMG all the way.

Chozen: My favorite part about being a performer is just having the opportunity to be on stage and do what I love. It's a great feeling to make music and connect with the people at your shows and they be inspired by what you had to say. Denetra: If you could take some time to encourage the youth of today that may need some direction, what would you say to them? Chozen: If I could say something encouraging, I would say follow your dreams. Don't let your now situation, your environment or your surroundings determine the person you become and how you live your life. Denetra: Well thank you for your time and for submitting your track for our talent search. And CONGRATS on bringing home a win! What knowledge would you 71

By: Richarh Aswanu

The main thing we promote here at Urban Image is entrepreneurship, and it's not everyday that we get the opportunity to have a conversation with a bona fide professional. Melinda Emerson's trail of success stretches back 14 years. Early on in her career, she was named one of the Top Leaders of the Future by Ebony Magazine. Her business acumen has been recognized by Black Enterprise and Forbes Magazine says she's one to follow. She's an entrepreneur in the purest form. And fittingly named, her company Quintessence Multimedia has had a hand in the success of Johnson & Johnson, Verizon, Enterprise Rent-A-Car, Comcast, IKEA, Radio One and The Robert Wood Johnson Foundation. She has the ability to assess your small business and give you the insight to land you on your feet. She knows her stuff, and I had the honor and the privilege of asking her some questions. I hope the interview proves to be informative and useful in our ventures... 74

faith in God, how does it feel to know your future relies on how hard and how smart you work? Melinda: Being your own boss is all about figur- ing out what you do not know about business. Every small business ownerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s first challenge is understanding how to work smarter not harder. Richarh: In a previous interview you were asked; "What keeps you up at night?" And you responded "Nothing". Then, you followed up with Philippians 4:6-7; "Do not be Richarh: Hey Melinda, how anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and peare you today? tition, with thanksgiving, present Melinda: I am great! I have your request to God. And the my dream job, and I love help- peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your ing entrepreneurs. My mission is hearts and your minds in Christ to end small business failure, and Jesus." That's powerful and encouraging. How big of a role does that is my focus every day. Richarh: How does it feel to your spirituality and faith play in your success? wake up in the morning as your own boss? Melinda: When you start a small Melinda: Being my own boss business it is a spiritual journey as is the ultimate form of freedom. I wake up each day without an alarm clock, I have a purpose clock. Richarh: Along with your

much as a business journey. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s so much that comes at you as a small

business owner that can knock

Melinda: I was 26 when I started

you off your game, you must be

my first company. I knew I didn’t

grounded in something. I have

know much about running a

found being grounded in the Lord

small business, but I knew I could

keeps me from worrying because

never have another job. So I had to

my father always

hustle hard to feed my-

for me. What op-

and doing research, so I

portunities com-

approached starting a

ing to me are for

business like a research

me. I don’t focus

project. For 10 years

on competition.

straight, I took a busi-

business for eve-

course every year to

ryone. I start

learn how to run my

each day in

business better. You

prayer, and it

must grow yourself to

keeps me from

grow your business. Richarh: What qualities do you possess that you feel are instrumental to your continuing success?

prepares a place

self. I am into reading

There is enough

ness or leadership

feeling like I’m in

a race. Richarh: Being an entrepreneur takes a special Melinda: I think my top kind of person with certain three qualities that have qualities. If you made me successful 1) don't put in the work, you don't Relentless consistency is eat. When did you realize you had what it takes to step into the my secret weapon – I keep my word, I business world and make a living follow-up. I’ve not missed for yourself? 76

posting to my blog since it started

business?

over 4 years ago 2) I know I don’t

Melinda: Yes! As women, we are

know it all – I’m constantly striv- naturally more nurturing, we listen ing to learn more. I think of my well, and we are willing to ask for help. life in terms of growth not goals. At the same time, many of us are 3) Being great to work with—No willing to negotiate on price when one likes a diva, I show up on time, camera ready and I am pre- we shouldn’t. pared to get to work. Richarh: A lot of advice I've been given emphasizes action with a flexible blueprint that can be adjusted to accommodate any problem that arises. That advice has been given by men. Now to the contrary, you stress careful and thoughtful planning. In your book "Become Your Own Boss in 12 Months", you recommend that aspiring entrepreneurs plan for a year. My question is; do you believe men and women have extremely different views on how to approach

We lack confidence

some times for things that have nothing to do with business. We can be emotional at times when we need to use data to make critical decisions. With that said I think our empathy and constant multitasking between our personal and professional lives is why we run better businesses. Richarh: Ok, Forbes Magazine named you as one of the #1 women to follow on Twitter, you've been featured on MSNBC, Fox News, NBC Nightly News,

was in charge. I had to get my confi-

USA Today, Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and Black Enterprise. So- being African American hasn't gotten in your way, and it doesn't appear the being a woman has slowed you down either. Lol! What would you say to motivate people who have nothing but excuses as to why they are not successful? Melinda: People

dence up and not take everything so personal. I wasted a lot of time chasing business I never should have, once I became

focused on a

specific niche my business took off.

respond to ex-

Richarh: What is the force behind you that motivates you and pushes you forward?

cellence. They

Melinda: God

don’t care what shape, color or sex the

showed me a vision in a dream

message comes if it helps them solve

three times to become America’s

their problem and make money. I don’t

#1Small Business Expert in 2007;

believe anyone cares that I am a woman

that pushes me to keep working

or that I am African-American. Richarh: You make entrepreneurship look so easy, but there's always obstacles. By your track record you appear to obliterate them, all we see is success. What are some of the roadblocks you've had to overcome?

hard. My son is my driving force too. I work hard so that he will have any option he can dream up.

Melinda: I was very young when I started my business, and I had to get over people always asking if some one else 78

Richarh: I notice that you used to produce news for ABC and NBC. Did you apply those skills into your Multi-media production firm Quintessence media? And is it safe to say

production is your true love? turned upside down. I ended up with a Melinda: My first company was in video high-risk pregnancy and was very ill production, so yes I used my producer and on bed rest for six months. My skills quite often. I â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;m not sure I would call it production. I would say content business was almost lost during this development has always been a passion time, but I had plenty of time to think. I of mine.

realized that I made every expensive

Richarh: Have you ever considered producing a mini-series or a film? Melinda: I have been considering my

mistake out there and then I decided to

own small business makeover reality

business owners would not go through

series. I have a few

what I experienced. So I sat down and

options in the

works now for that type of TV

show,

and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m very excited.

share what I learned so that other new

wrote the book I had never read, and that became my national bestseller Be-

Richarh: Was there any particular sit- come Your Own Boss in 12 Months. My uation you encountered or witend game was to end nessed that made you decide that you wanted to end small business failure? Melinda: It was my own business story that lead me to become a small business coach. I was doing very well in my business I had 8 employees and of-

fices in downtown Philadelphia. I had won every business award and recognition out there. Then I got pregnant with my son in 2005 and my life 79

small business failure. Richarh: In your professional opinion, what is the #1 cause of small business failure? Melinda: No staying on top of the

are the main things you examine to determine what needs to be done? Melinda: I immediately start asking questions about the business. What is

numbers in your small business is

your niche? Who is your typical cus-

the #1 cause of business failure.

tomer? How much time to do

You must manage your business

based on up-to-date financial in- spend on marketing tivities each formation. You need to use a budget and realistic sales projec-

you ac-

week?

tions to manage your marketing

activities. By the 15th of the month, you should know how well your business did last

What is

month so that

your monthly

you can

burn rate? If they canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t

make

answer these question or if their answers are incoherent, then I

any

adjustments. Peo-

ple let

their

start evaluating if the business owner is coachable, has any resources to invest in fixing the problems, or if itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a glori-

fear of math keep them from

fied hobby and not really a business. In

knowing what really going on in

two hours of talking and observing, I

their businesses. Richarh: When a new client approaches you to "save" their business, what

can typically diagnose any failing business.

Richarh: Could you give us an example of a recent problem you've solved within a small business and what you did to fix it?

golden nuggets from clients, my sub-

Melinda: I had a long time contractor

has really helped me continue to grow

sat down with her and said that she

Richarh: A lot of entrepreneurs, 1.5 million to be exact look to you for business advice. When you come across a little snag in your business, who do you turn to?

contracts, and even my interns. I am willing to learn from anyone and that

that I use in my business, who I noticed and evolve as a person and as a business was really becoming overextended, so I leader. needed to build her capacity in her business. She needed to find and hire a strong number two manager that she

could trust dealing with clients and get Melinda: They say it takes a village to some additional admin support. She did raise a child, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the same thing it and her revenue doubled in three

with a small business. I have a team of

months.

mentors around me. I also belong to two

Richarh: What are some of the things mastermind groups and get a ton of you've learned about your own busigood advice from ness in the my peers in busicourse of helping someone ness. I am a veraelse? Melinda:

cious reader too, so

Technology and

that helps me stay

trends are

sharp and provide

changing con-

helpful information,

stantly. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m al-

when I am stuck on

ways picking up

something. 81

Richarh: There’s a lot of aspiring entrepreneurs, especially African-Americans who have a good business idea. But, no money, no credit and no apparent way to fund their venture. What's your advice? Melinda: You can start with just an idea, but that is like pushing a rock uphill with your back. Seriously backbreaking work. You are your business’s credit, so the first thing they must do is get employed and clean up their personal credit. They start to save money to invest in their idea. No one will invest in you or your business if you have no skin in the game, so be willing to take a few steps back to run forward. Richarh: Do you believe someone can be taught entrepreneurship, or do you think people are born with the character traits that are necessary to be successful in business? Melinda: I believe that anyone can be taught to run a business better, but entrepreneurs are

like, know and trust. Your network is your “net worth” when you start out in business. 90% of

all small businesses get business from referrals, so if you are not friendly, bad at returning calls,

typically born. There is a specific type of person that does well in their own business. Entrepreneurs tend to be the type of person who

networking. Could you explain to our readers why building relationships is critical to being successful in business? Melinda: People do business with people they

sending out holiday cards or are a person who doesn’t keep their word when you say you’re going to follow-up,

can’t really work in

you shouldn’t be-

corporate America.

come a small busi-

They don’t have the

ness owner. You

filter required for a

need a network to

desk job. Richarh: I am a firm believer in

sell to. 82

complete profile on LinkedIn first. Why?

Richarh: In this day and age of computers, smartphones and tablets, it seems like people are "out of touch". Everybody relies on text messages and emails. What do you feel is the best mode of communication? Melinda: Phone calls and hand written

Because it’s the first place a potential customer will look for information about you. Then, develop a listening strategy to figure out where your best target customer hangs out online, and

notes are the best forms of communica-

join that site. Start with one social media

tion. But, if you don’t know the person

site first, to build a following. Then move

start with email. Richarh: You also wrote an e-book entitled "How to Become a Social Media Ninja". How significant is it for businesses to have a strong social media presence? Melinda: Social media is the great

on to another site once you feel that you have a dominant brand presence. Do not kill yourself trying to do everything. Richarh: What are some tips for entrepreneurs on how to get followers to actively participate on their social media pages? Melinda: Use social media to “friend-

equalizer for small business owners. It used to be that the busi-ness

that

raise.” Use the HELP Mantra to build

could purchase the most advertising won in business, now the power is in the hand of the customer. These days, no one wants to be sold to; they are looking for helpful information, and if you have some to offer, you have the opportunity to build a relationship that you can eventually monetize. Quality content is the currency required to be successful online, but everyone should keep in mind that social media marketing is a long tail strategy. When it comes to getting started online, I suggest building a 83

your social media brand.

dia brand. Having a social media

Help Others – You should create

account that is not updated is

or share helpful content always.

worse than not having an account

Engage with people – Build rap-

at all. You can manage your so-

port. Share personal information,

cial media presence one hour a

remember names. People love to

day using tools like

you for sharing my content.

www.sproutsocial.com to schedule

be acknowledged with a thank

www.hootsuite.com or

Listen First – All social media sites

your content in advance. Now, be

are differ-

sure to check in live three

ent. It is

times a day to engage with

important

people who are trying to

the cul-

ing your content. Do not

ture of

just leave your social media

one social

accounts on autopilot.

to know

speak with you or are shar-

media site

Richarh: I love Facebook. What is your favorite and why? Melinda: Twitter my favor-

over an-

other. Facebook people are not Twitter people.

ite. It’s the first place I went online

Promote with Care – You should

in 2008 and it’s the fastest social

be sharing other people’s content

networking site. You only get 140

at a 4:1 Ratio of your own. Sell

characters so you must “hit it and

with caution. Go for the relation-

quit it” as James Brown would say.

ship first and the sales will come.

I wrote a blog post about Twitter

Do not start something you can’t

the NY Times called “How Twitter

maintain. It takes 12-18 months

Changed My Life” http://nyti.ms/

of daily work to build a social me-

M0uLO0. 84

of the American economy. Richarh: What’s your next big move? You've accomplished milestones every year from 1999-2006. Then, you released "Become Your Own Boss in 12 Months" in 2010. In 2011 Forbes Magazine named you the #1 woman to follow on Twitter. That's serious right there. You've demonstrated that you are a meticulous planner and that you'll take a year or so to put an idea in motion. So- what are you up to? Lol! Melinda: I am really excited about my foundation that I

started last year on my 40th birthday. MelindaFEmersonRicharh: What do you think about the role entrepreneurs play in the economy? And further, do you feel entrepreneurship is critical to the future of the financial system of the United States? Melinda: The Entrepreneur economy will be what brings back our

foundation.org. I am hosting my

first conference through my foun-

dation October 12th in Philadelphia, We are calling it ReinventionWeekend.Com. We’re inviting 100 minority and women entrepreneurs the chance to be coached by the 6 best small business experts

economy to full strength. Small

in the US for FREE for a one-day

business create 70% of the net

conference. Applications close

new jobs in this country, so it’s

Sept. 16th, so we are going to be

absolute that we are the backbone

selected the attendees by 85

Sept 23th and we’re having a

tell people that I am where I am

fundraiser that night called

because of the prayers other peo-

SmallBiz Jam, so that we can do it

ple prayed who didn’t even know

again next year. I’m working on a

me. I am very aware of what God

second edition of my best selling

is doing through me. I have a par-

book Become Your Own Boss in

ty every New Year’s day for the

dia book that will be out in 2014.

love and never get to see. I

Richarh: You are not only a paradigm for African-American women in business, you're also an example for every entrepreneur who's striving for success. You've been sharing your expertise in the business world for over 14 years. A lot of people are familiar with "The Small Biz Lady", but who is Melinda Emerson as a person?

am a work in progress, always

12 Months, and a new social me-

same 15 women in my life who I

grinding but enjoying the ride too. Richarh: After months of grinding, where do you like to go to get away on vacation?

Melinda: I’m a fun loving single mom of a 7 year-old son. I am a loyal friend and lover of spicy ethnic food. I love old school RB and HipHop. I am a consistent church-goer and prayer warrior. I 86

Melinda: I love the Jersey shore, France and Mexico. Richarh: What are some of the things you like to do to unwind in your spare time? Melinda: I love dancing, fresh flowers and gardening. Richarh: Outside of business, what are your dreams? Is there anything in life you'd like to do? Melinda: Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d love to get married again. Richarh: Well Melinda, thanks for the interview. It was truly a pleasure and a blessing to have you. I hope this interview was enlightening for our readers. Is there anything else you would like to say? Please feel free to promote anything you have coming up... Melinda: I have some TV projects in the works, so more people will get to see how I help small business owners make over their businesses real soon.

Black Beauty By: Kolade Olanrewaju Freedom

Driven by unknown forces I collided with fate And received a knock That drove my to destiny land Where I saw a diamond Shining like the stars Radiating beauty beyond contention. I lost my root and forgot myself Entrapped in a cage Not wanting to be free But touch diamond and caress Hands got burnt Diamond emanating intense heat Not to be touched but distantly admired. Black angel walked on earth Only a few noticed But my eyes explored hidden treasures And discovered angel

A black angel with tender face Discharging addictive and infatuating waves.

All desire to touch But hands got burnt at every attempt Why should beauty be so mean Yet so desirous?

Metaphors of Permanence By: G.P.A.

I am the monster under the bed. I am the Boogeyman in the closet, but when you come with your friends to verify my existence, I am not there. But when you come to retrieve your jacket or coat, I am the one handing it to you, fangs glistening in the moonlight with saliva dripping from my mouth for I am ravenous. I am Jason Voorhees, Michael Meyers, Freddy Krueger, Pinhead, and Pennywise, and no matter how many times you wish to kill or vanquish me, another movie or book is made for me to live again. I am Lex Luthor, Grodd the Gorilla, Black Manta, Simon Bar Sinister, and Riff Raff and the heroes that battle, for this illustrates the perpetual struggle of good versus evil. I am the proverbial fly in the ointment that shows up at the picnic, and no matter how much you swing and swat at me, I do not leave but tap dance in the potato salad, perform backstrokes in Cole slaw, and swing back and forth on your fork as you are getting ready to place it in your mouth.

And these are the metaphors of permanence of what truly am. I am the anger and hatred of Beelzebub for being cast out of Heaven, and I am the disappointment and resignation of the Almighty Himself knowing that when He

created Lucifer, He would have no recourse. I am the bully, the bullied, and the bullied that finally stood up to the bully. I am dark skin, for no matter how many times it has been chained, whipped, or cursed, it and the people who have it, remain. And these are the metaphors of permanence to show what I truly am. I am an addict, but there are no pipes, blunts, bottles, or needles. There is simply me going to open mics, using assumed names, taking the three, five, or how many minutes given to me, and performing like Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m the feature. There is me using social network to share a poem so there is room for the next poem and the next in my head. I am the invitation in the mail sent to me, and it is an invite that I am surprised that I received. At this gala, there is Wordsworth and Blake conversing in one corner, while Giovanni, Hughes, and Brooks exchange stories in another. I bow my head in reverence as a Maya Angelou approaches, but she lifts my head by the chin and says welcome home, my child.

No longer am I lost or wayward. My life has a course and high purpose. This skin is temporary and irrelevant, for I realize what I truly am. I am a poet. And the metaphors of permanence are complete.

Tears By: Brenda Tashae

Sadness has been me for the last few days but not one single tear dropped. Finding out a love one betrayed you by doing the ultimate sin But still loving them, Forgiving them and trying to move forward. Crying would cleanse my soul But yet a tear hasn't fallen My heart has been broken in a thousand little pieces

Yet I'm still standing tall and smiling. Putting my decisions on the back burner for yours Just to be let down again and again. I can try to move forward and forget that we met But my heart won't let me, All I can say is these past few years has been a test

And I believe I passed all of them. Always been faithful and loved you unconditionally

Even when family and friends were saying you were cheating. Dealt with all the drama with your then girlfriend but now baby momma. Through all of that I became stronger, And realized I'm too good of a person to have dealt with all of that bulls***. Still the tears wouldn't fall my heart is now healed and I've met a man who topped them all.

Power of Words By E. Ah Dai

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.

If only that was true, and who ever said that clearly never words of hurt said to them. Words do hurt; they cut through your skin and pierce your heart and seep down into your soul. That hurts more than any

bruise can; bones will mend Words likeâ&#x20AC;Ś You are a slut You are a whore

You are a dumb bitchâ&#x20AC;Ś See these words travel, but to stop in the mind. Tricking you into thinking you were unworthy of kind healing words 96

You are fat You are ugly Then you begin to thinking again, I am still unworthy. Through these tainted eyes you see what they want

you to see Tears shed; fears grow all because of what someone else says to you. So you who said words don’t hurt, say that to the little girl or boy being picked on daily.

People fail to realize that words have a profound effect on us Proverbs 18:21 says “Death and life are in the power of the tongue and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

Do you know what this mean? Words can speak life or death. So I chose another road. I wanted my words to have power like no other. So why not speak life,

I want to give you courage and encourage you to be a great person

Tell them they are strong and they have the strength to make it through that hard time You are different yes, but you are unique and made to be different from everyone else

I love you, I love you more than words can say and I love you unconditionally You are a beautiful; your beauty matches your beautiful soul These simple words can send a person in the right direction In those directions there are words like… Joy, a joy in your soul erupts like no other Then Peace settles on your heart And your Faith grows daily Life seems so much better than before; because life has been breathed back into you See how words can change a feeling… The power of words…

The Relationship Revolution By: Denetra Key

You have chastened me. Fatigue racks my body like pain. Your love has clouded me. And your rage covers like pouring rain. I must confess That happiness Will excel Escaping your restraint. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m leaving you, Out of the blue, Never to return again. You will over powers

Causing me to feel faint, Toxic is this relationship Every day you seem to taint. The idealism you portray Makes me the Devil And you the saint. Dreams of good times with you I merely must abstain. Any vision of happiness, By your hand has been slain. I say good bye to you now, My dear love, With no further need to explain

100

HIM: I told her I just got out of relationship, and I’m not ready to be in another one other than a friendly companion. She has a man. She still tries to approach me sexually. If I take it there with her, emotions are going to get involved, and I don’t want that. So because I don’t want to take it there with her, she’d mad. Most women would be happy that a man is respecting her relationship. Yeah, soo…hate to break it to you, but ya homegirl isn’t trying to be your homegirl. She’s trying to make you boyfriend #2. And since you’re not going for it, she’s hot. There’s different ways to look at this. #1 Your “friend” is not respecting you or your emotional state. You’ve told her that you’re not trying to deal with anyone. You’re trying to get your head together and she’s too busy thinking about her own selfish needs to be there for you. Kudos to you, btw, for not smashing everything moving, as a lot of men are known to do after a relationship is over. #2 If your girl is willing to use you as an escape from her own problems, that’s not going to bring any peace into what’s already an overly emotional time in your life. You know you don’t need that kind of drama. #3 This is the simplest, but most important fact: IF SHE’LL CHEAT WITH YOU, SHE’LL CHEAT ON YOU!! Be firm in your position and don’t let anyone push you into a position you’re not ready for. It’s not “punk.” It takes a real man to say no. Remember that.

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What's Funny Nowadays By: Comedian Marc Howard

I've been through a real time portal ya know. I started in stand up comedy 23 years ago, that's almost a decade and a half. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve seen the game change. In talking about the world changes. That's significant because life shapes what we talk about on stage. There's a lot of "do's and don'ts now. The rights of homosexuals has grown increasingly significant too where you definitely can't use the word faggot anymore. Now to be clear I've used the word, I grew up knowing that term, but I'm not complaining. Just stating the facts, comics still say it, but I know that ever since the great Kobe Bryant was caught on camera screaming the word out to a referee when he didn't like a call (by the way to my knowledge the ref isn't gay). Kobe was fined

$100,000. Times have changed indeed. Tiger Woods was found out about his infidelity, his great image was tarnished, and somehow he needed to make an apology to the world for doing something that was disrespectful to his family. Not condoning it, but I personally don't care about his personal affairs do you? So why it was necessary to do, or news worthy to even cover is still shocking to me, times have changed indeed. Well of you hear the nigger being used on black folks, but the thought is why should we have a issue with it when we call ourselves this. Nigga, nigger same thing, so then what's funny nowadays I ask? As a comedian I have used a lot of words in my act. Does one need to use those references to be funny? In a word......no. Now certain words have shock factor, relevance to the material (if you are imitating a character that might use slurs then it's necessary to

104

know a few years prior he wouldn't have needed to apologize for. We as comedians used to be able to express any ole kind of way, but that day has changed. For the good? Well see if it makes the difference. We must adjust to the ever changing times. Funny will still be funny say. It's all in bounds really as long as don't worry, & we will still continue to it's funny. push the envelope. Comedy is still relaI heard Eddie Murphy say once when tive to the masses of people so we will Barbara Walters asked about saying be able to say a lot of controversial offensive jokes. I recall him saying basi- things, and get the benefit of the doubt cally that if something is funny it's not as long as we make the people laugh. offensive. That was so true to me, I So......what's funny nowadays? in a mean think about it. If you're comword.......EVERYTHING! pelled to laugh at a joke then you can't be offended. Now I believe this is about the time you're asking........WTF is your point? Well, I know that comics like myself have made the conscience decision to be a lil mindful of what we say, especially in Hollywood, because we don't want to hurt our opportunities. Tracy Morgan quickly had to apologize to the homosexual community for derogatory comments he made. Statements that I

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Sickle Cell Anemia : A Life Long Journey By: Patrice Rivers

Help Break the Sickle Cycle

causing it not to move as freely. When

Awareness of Sickle Cell may not be ex- these red blood cells become congested, it causes complications and pain pressed highly enough in most states. For those of you that don’t know, Sep-

within a person.

tember is Sickle Cell Awareness month.

This disease isn’t contagious, but can

During the whole month of September,

only be inherited if both parents have

foundations from all over plan fun fes-

the trait. It occurs when a child inherits

tivities and walks to help raise money

two hemoglobin genes from each one of

for sickle cell patients to help with treat- the parents. ments, financial issues and medication. What is Sickle Cell? For those of you who aren’t aware of this, Sickle Cell Disease is an inherited blood disorder that affects the red blood cells. A normal person’s blood cells are shaped like a doughnut, whereas a person with sickle cell, their red blood cells are shaped like a banana 107

The Four Types of Sickle Cell Sickle Cell Anemia Sickle-Hemoglobin C Disease Sickle-Beta Thalassemia Disease

Treatment Options There are various treatment options for SCD. The first option is a medication called hydroyurea which helps to produce fetal hemoglobin. This prevents

Sickle-Hemoglobin O Disease

any necessary complications a patient may experience. It also decreases the

Early Signs of Sickle Cell

number of blood transfusions. Because

Symptoms vary from mild to severe

hydroyurea is an ‘’experimental” drug,

symptoms. Those with severe symp-

this medicine does not work on every-

toms are hospitalized frequently for

one with SCD. Another treatment op-

treatments. A lot of times, sickle cell

tion would be the blood transfusion

disease is present at birth and some-

therapy. This also prevents complica-

times signs aren’t shown until after four tions and blood transfusions usually are months. One of the most severe pain

given to SCD patients once a month or

linked to sickle cell is called a “sickle cell sometimes twice depending. This treats crisis.” They often affect the bones, lungs, abdomen, arms and other parts. The pain from sickle cell can be acute (sudden) or chronic which can last weeks or sometimes months. 108

severe anemia and other complications think I would make it at the age of related to the disease. twelve because things weren’t looking Bone marrows and a core blood trans- too well. But God’s angels stood by my plant for cures of SCD are very high risk side and protected me. I am a living testimony and God has a reason for allowand serious. ing me to live and I truly believe that. I Living with Sickle Cell: My Journey am here for a purpose! I started taking My parents found out that I was had hydroyurea which really helped me in a SCD when I was only one. Over the lot of ways. No more transfusions and years of growing up with SCD have had thank God I never suffered any joint some challenges for me. At the age of pains and major complications like some one, I suffered my first crisis called patients with SCD. Another medicine Aplastic which could last up to seven to that I take related to my SCD is folic acid ten days. July of 1998 at the age of which is normal to take for a lot of peotwelve, I suffered my first acute chest ple. Another medicine I took in the past syndrome which was penicillin which didn’t really help any. Hydroyurea has truly saved me is a non-infectious disease that is caused if the red blood cells are blocking from a lot of pain. the vessels in the lungs. This causes major chest pain and makes it hard for a person to breathe. All of my crisis occurred at a young age, but my parents were always there by my side when I was going through all of this. The following year of 1999 in January, my second and last episode occurred and by then I began doing blood transfusions every six weeks. It’s amazing how a young person battling this chronic illness can take so much pain, but as my doctors and parents said “She is a fighter” I fought my way through school barely missing any days, because I was determined, even though some days I would be in pain. At one point during my acute chest crisis, the doctors didn’t

If you want to learn more about how to donate to the association of SCD in America or whether you want to volunteer or become a member of a chapter in your area, please visit www.sicklecelldisease.org This site is filled with wonderful information that helps educate you about what the association is doing in your area. Please remember to spread the awareness of SCD the whole month of September.

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TO DO LIST FOR THE END OF THE SUMMER! TIPS TO GET YOUR HOUSE BACK IN GEAR FOR THE SCHOOL YEAR! By: Deszion Nasir

Yes, it’s that time. *checks calendar* The slip and slide is ripped, the plastic pool has a hole in it, everyone is back from camp and cabin fever has set in. As you grab a Q-tip and make sure your ear canals are clean, you hear what you thought you heard again: They’re ready to go back to school. Yes, folks, it’s that twilight time of the summer when everyone in your house is sick of each other, sick of you, and getting excited about their new classes, wondering if their friends are going to be in their classes, and wanting that Iron Man back pack swinging from Wal Mart’s well-placed shelves every time you enter the store. But are YOU ready for the

transition? Here are a few tips to get you and your house prepared: Ease the family into a school year schedule. The first day of school is no time for a drastic adjustment of household sleep schedules. Instead, ease children back into a school year routine gradually. During the last two weeks of summer, reintroduce a school year bed111

time. Begin waking late sleepers earlier and earlier, closer to the hour they'll need to rise when school begins. Don't neglect mealtimes! Younger children, in particular, need to

adapt to new meal routines before the school day demands it of them. Plan meals and snacks to accustom little ones to rituals of the school day before the school year begins. Create Calendar Central Each school year floats on a sea of schedules. School functions. Lunch menus. Scout meetings and music lessons. What do you do when you're drowning in paper?

Nothing calms school year chaos like Calendar Central: a centralized site for all family calendars and schedules. You'll need a family event calendar to track after-school activities, school programs and volunteer work. Add specialized calendars and schedules, and you have it: a one-stop shop for family time management. Form is less important than function. A paper calendar with large squares lets you enter information easily. Preprinted white board calendars are easy to revise when necessary. Color-coding entries by family member helps keep busy lives straight. 112

Paper planner fans dedicate a planner section to serve as Calendar Central, while techsavvy cybergirlz store the info in a smart phone or tablet and sync with multiple computers. Choose a calendar format that works for your family. Post the family event calendar in a public place near the telephone. Use magnets to attach the calendar to the refrigerator, or tack it to a bulletin board. Add other calendars to Calendar Central: school lunch menus, class assignment sheets, sports practice schedules. When the room mother calls for field trip volunteers, you'll know at a glance whether you're free to join the group on the bus that day. Plan before you shop August is the second-biggest sales month for clothing retailers. Back to school clothing sales begin as early as July! Are you prepared to run the school clothes gauntlet? An informed shopper is a savvy shopper, so prepare before you shop.

Before

Take an afternoon and assess each child's clothing needs. Empty drawers and closets of outgrown or worn-out clothing, and either store or donate the discards. Research and discover if there are any consignment shops in your area. You can take your kidsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; entire too-small wardrobe of gently used clothing and either get cash back or use it as a credit toward purchases in their store. Working with your child, clean and organize clothing storage before new garments are added--and cut down on school morning calls of "Mom! I don't have any clean . . . . " Develop a wardrobe needs list for each child. Check for possible hand-medowns from older siblings as

After

you make your list. If you discuss the needs list and the family budget with your children before you shop, you'll avoid in-the-store tantrums. Similarly, ask the school for classroom supply lists before shopping for school supplies. Usually these lists can be found online or-VERY RARELY- there are some still available in some of the major stores. Attend open house at your childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s school if they have it in the summer; they are usually given out then, as well Forewarned is forearmed ... and helps protect the family budget. Do shop early! With back-toschool sales beginning in midJuly, tardy shoppers have a tough time locating needed 113

supplies among September's Halloween costumes and Christmas decorations. Gather your papers School entry may require documentation from immunization records to report cards from the previous school year. Athletes need proof of medical examination. A little preparation can prevent frantic lastminute searches for a birth certificate or registration confirmation. Call your child's school or check the school district Web site beforehand to find out what paperwork will be required--then find it! You won't be sorry come registration day. Take aim on morning madness

home? Crazed and chaotic, or calm and cheerful? Plan ahead to send your schoolchildren-and yourself!--out the door in a happy frame of mind. Each evening, think ahead to the following morning; where can you lighten the load? Set the breakfast table as you clear the dinner dishes, and make sure breakfast foods are easy to reach. Lay out children's clothing the night before. Scan backpacks or launch pad spaces for missing homework, projects or library books. Make sure musical instruments or sports bags are packed and ready to go. Do "bathroom wars" break out daily among the small fry? Multi-child households may need a bathroom schedule so that everyone gets equal time before the mirror. What do you do about books and papers, lunch money and permission slips? Practice the Launch Pad concept! By creating a dedicated space for every family member, a Launch Pad gets the family

out the door in record time-and organized. Make a practice run How will children get to school? The first day of school is no time to find out it takes ten minutes--not five--to walk to the nearest bus stop! Before school begins, make a practice run to get children to the school on time. If they'll walk, help them learn the route they'll take and note the needed time. Car-pooling? Make sure the dry run accounts for earlymorning traffic! Bus riders will need to be familiar with 114

the location of the bus stop; print and post the bus schedule to prevent a missed bus. Spiff up household systems A new school year quickens the tempo of family life. Sports activities, music lessons, church programs and volunteer commitments tap parental time and put new mileage on the mini-van. Get organized!

Spiff up your household systems to meet autumn's faster pace: Clean house ... fast! Take a stab at speed cleaning and whip through household chores in record time. Cut time in the kitchen: create a menu plan and never again wonder "What's for dinner?" Streamline dinner preparations. Tr y a session of freezer cooking to stock the freezer with prepared entrees for stress-free dinner on sports night. Conquer the paper pile-up. Set up a basic home filing system to track school paperwork, volunteer activities and household planning

Happy New School Year! Time to swing into a new school year--from an organized home.

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NFL's New Era: Read it and Weep By: Antione Barber

This is the time of the read option in the NFL. An offense usually applied at the high school and college levels has began to reap havoc on the defenses in the NFL. Now with the faster more athletic Quarterback whom can also throw with great precision, this offensive scheme had defensive coordinators scratching their heads last season. Several teams adopted a piece of the read option. Most NFL coaches tend to think that this is a fad that will fade, just like the wildcat. Other coaches think that it's here to stay, especially with today's athletes being faster and stronger, all around more athletic. some coaches such as the Dallas Cowboy's head coach Jason Garett and Packers Defensive coordinator Dom Capers have sought the advice of the college coaching friends. Such as the likes of Nick Sabana of Alabama and Kevin Sumlin of Texas A&M to gain preventive strategies to this scheme. The African American impact is huge

in the new era of things. last season's top 4 offenses to apply the read option were lead by the Black QB's. Robert Grifin III, Cam Newton, RusselWilson and Colin Kaepernick were the quarterbacks who seemed to benefit the most from the read option and it's surprise attack. However, some say that we have seen this before in former Black QB's in what the league called the scramble. which was ran by players such as Randall Cunningham, Donovan McNabb and as recently as MichealVick. (with the exception of Steve young) Todays version has so many options and components that defensive coordinators tend to adjust the packages which put them in trouble.Whether it's the QB keep, Dive, or Pitch Run, Vertical Run or Pass it's great for the offenses that run it well. Now that the 2012 season is over and the shock has passed, teams have spent the off season preparing for this.Will it pay off? We will soon see this season. Are you ready for some football?

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By Richarh Aswanu and Antoine Barber

We are always looking to showcase peaple who are out in the field striving for success. Whether you are an entrepreneur or someone trying to make it in the entertainment industry we want to tell your story. This month we caught up with Drea Avent, who's determination and relentless efforts has led her to becoming one of the most respected women in sports.

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Richarh: Hey Drea, How are you? Drea: I am doing well! Its football season, and that is always my favorite time of year. Richarh: So, what made you decide to be a sportscaster?

never going to make it. But I kept pushing and sending out resume DVD's after I graduated college. I sent out 200 before I got my first job in Texas...I was relentless and I knew I had what it takes to do well in this business, and I was persistent until I got my first Drea: I grew up as an shot in Texas doing local TV. I shot my own stories, edited athlete who loved sports. My dad was them and produced. I was happy about that, I wanted to also a youth sports recreational coach, so be known as more than just a I was always around "face". Antoine: What would you say sports. It has been is the biggest misconception part of my life for quite some time. I live of women in sports casting? and breathe sports, so Drea: Well the biggest misconception is that women there is no faking it don’t know what they are here...it’s the real talking about. And it’s a condeal. stant battle to prove that I do, Richarh: How did you but it comes with the territoland your first gig in ry. I thrive on that pressure, the world of sports? because I actually love sports. I’m not just a talking head Drea: Well it was that is lost out there...I’m a tough starting out. I true tomboy who loves got rejected a lot. I sports...but I had executives and naysayers saying I was 118

have a girly side too. Coaches and players know if you know what you are talking about. Some of my friends in the NFL joke and text me when other female sports journalists ask them dumb questions. They take notice and so do the coaches. I overly prepare for games, and coaches and players recognize that. I’ve had high profile coaches say they respect me...so I use that as validation and I stay in my lane and do what I do.

you feel about comments like that? Drea: Well there will always be haters, or people that are against

women in sports. Even though there are many more women in sports, it’s still a man’s world, and that will never change. The pressure is even greater if you are perceived as being attractive. I have very thick skin, and I know I work hard to do the best job I can, and I have a true passion for what I do...so no amount of hate will change how much I love what I do. Richarh: I'm glad you I’ve had people doubt asked that question me before and then afBruh. A while back, one ter seeing me do a game of our followers on Fa- they change their opincebook made a comion...so you have to just ment; "Women sports- do good work, and let casters don't know any- the rest be as it may. Its thing about sports and life! You can’t please everyone. they're nothing but pretty faces used to get Antoine: While working in a male dominated ratings." Drea, how do 119

field, do you think a female anchor will ever get the lead spot of a major sports broadcast such as Monday Night Football, the NBA Finals or the World Series? Drea: Well there are plenty of women anchoring at the national level and there are a few women doing a great job in the booth as play by play and color announcers. I see that trend growing, and I LOVE that. There have been several quality women on the Monday night football sidelines, and I hope that trend

continues as well. Antoine: As a woman of color and a sportscaster among the likes of Cari Champion (ESPN's First Take), Sage Steele (ESPN), and Jemele Hill (ESPN's Numbers Never

ble, and we will all end up making our own individual impacts when all is said and done. I think it is good and important to have ethnic diversity in sports and in entertainment. There is not just one mold of a female sportscaster, and I think that is something that is vital to showcase. Richarh: What was your experience like traveling to London to cover the Olympics? Drea: Well Lie). How do you think that was the biggest asyour presence will imsignment of my career. I pact the world of broad- mean the Olympics was casting? global and I was one of Drea: Well I think we are the youngest people that NBC hired. I was also the all different and bring different things to the ta- only woman of color on the field 120

such a polarizing figure and that is intriguing to me. I would also love to do more high profile baseball interviews. I covered the MLB all-star game a couple of years ago, and haven't covered baseball since, so that would be fun. during the entire Olympic Games. So that was a huge honor and a huge thing that I can always be proud of. It was a great experience, and I will never forget it. Antoine: After covering some of the world’s most astonishing sporting events, who would be your dream interview and why? Drea: I would love to interview Floyd Mayweather because of his dominance in the sport of boxing and he can be

Antoine: Who would you say has been your most intriguing athlete you've interviewed so far? Drea: I’ve had some memorable interviews, my favorites have been David Beckham and Mike Vick. I interviewed Jerry West when I was in college. That interview stands out because nobody thought he would talk to me...and I got an exclusive. I mean come on he's the NBA logo...so that was huge. David Beckham and Mike Vick 121

were very down to earth and easy to work ...with even though they are huge figures. So those two stand out. Richarh: Who's your favorite athlete of all time? Drea: Michael Jordan!!! The greatest...and that is not up for debate! Richarh: What's your favorite sport? Drea: Well that’s tough because I love all sports. But football and basketball are my top two....there is nothing like being on the football sidelines. But I love soccer and feel that it’s annoyingly underrated in this country. Baseball holds a special place in my heart as well. Antoine: If you weren't sports casting what would you be your occupation? Drea: I dunno that’s a tough question! I really can’t see myself do

ing anything else...but if I was not on tv I would want to do PR for a team or something working with a team. Antoine: Does being a sportscaster interfere with your personal life?Drea: Ha! Yes it does. There are many sacrifices to being a sportscaster. When 'I’m busy I’m super busy and don't really have time to date...and when I do date, sometimes guys have a problem with what I do, or they are insecure about it. So it can be unfortunate, but I believe when the time is right I will meet the right guy! Stephen A. Smith (ESPN) is one of my best friends, like a big brother to me for the last 10 years. He has given me good advice on how I should handle my life in the romance

department being that I’m in this career. It’s all about timing and a potential love interest understanding my life, and me understanding theirs. Over the last couple of years, I've worked mostly as a sideline/feature reporter so there is a lot of travel around the country. It can be tough on relationships, but my career is worth the sacrifice. Richarh: Hey Drea thanks for the interview. We hope to see a lot more of you in the future. Drea: Awe no problem! Thanks for interviewing me, it was fun!

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Biyaaaatch! Some would say this word made Too Short rich. But, this is also the word that has sparked many debates within the Hip-Hop community and has led to discontent from the members of the civil rights era. I've been waiting on the perfect opportunity to weigh in on the conversation. I've sat on the sideline for years as women's advocate groups protested the usage of the word in rap songs, even going as far as charging the rappers with misogyny.

They SongByrd Jackson Bitch is a female were dog. I'm a HUE-man so for me I'm very offended out! Usually, only ghetto chics and by the flamboyant gay guys still use it and heavy most untalented rappers. use of the word "bitch" in rap lyrics. What I have to say to those sisters and to those who share their views is; when rappers rap about the "bitch" or "ho" who met them backstage after the concert and performed oral sex on the whole crew, they aren't talking about I remember two or three years ago, a you. As a result of this kind of behavior, group of intelligent college sisters were some women are being categorized in impaneled on the Oprah Winfrey rap music, not directly disrespected. So Show, beautiful women inside and out. my question to you is, why are you so offended? You are not even a part of that culture. More than likely, on most Saturday nights you are at home spending time with your significant other or doing something to work towards your future. I applaud that.

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The word "bitch" is not a blanket that describes all women. So please sisters, stop throwing yourself under the quilt by becoming offended. In my personal observation, the women who become upset by the term "bitch" - aren't bitches. But meanwhile, the women who engage in the acts outlined in some rap lyrics develop a sense of pride or accomplishment, and I'm not knocking it. Variety is the spice of life. Just like men, there are many different types of women in the world. A man will categorize a woman according to how she carries herself, and women do the same thing with men. It's human nature. I'm telling you from a male perspective what's real. You cannot control the general views a man has of women collectively in his mind. However, you have direct control over the view Bernie Bagley Don't like the word, don't use the word and l don't respond to the word! To me, its so offensives. All ways and all the time. A man bet not ever'va refer to me as "this is my bitch". Hell to the NO! And l hate it when my girls say "where my bitches at" or "these my bitches". I HATE that! Again .....that's my opinion.

men have of you as a woman individually. There are certain women who I would never refer to as a "bitch" or a "ho" because of the way their demeanor silently commands and deserves respect. Take Michelle Obama and Sabrina Fulton for example. Elegance, grace, poise and good moral character are what comes to mind when I see these women. Now on the other hand, look at some of the women we see on reality television. Are you getting the picture? The term "bitch" isn't always used to refer to women in a negative sense. Believe it or not, sometimes it's used as a compliment or in a sense of awe and accomplishment. Take the young, determined, ambitious and successful sister who is in a corporate world dominated by male chauvinist who don't respect her as their equal. In order to survive, she has to be a "bitch". She has to be tough. She has to strut into those board meetings in her high heels and her pinstriped pantsuit with her head held high. She's a "Boss Bitch", she knows it and men respect her. She crowned herself with the title way before anyone

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Denetra Queenganstalit Key Here's my take on the word bitch...Y'all may be mad at me, but if feel that the word itself has no power. It is truly what is put with the word and what context that it is used in that gives it it's meaning for instance; you stupid "bitch" well we all know that is negative. However for me and my friends to say that's my bitch or to refer to each other as bitches well we know that its us saying that's my girl! We been calling each other that since way back. And none of us are ignorant hood rats either...I myself am quite educated. Or another example I have is that between me and my man; I have no problem with him knowing or saying that I'm "That Bitch"...It means two things; that I am that one that's irreplaceable, that Boss ...yes Bitch, that's gonna hold things down and get it together as well as that I am "That Bitch" not to messed with or misused in any way shape or form. SO yeah "BITCH" to me is not such a bad word! and I can truly say yes I am "That Bitch" !

else acknowledged her aptitude and her strong mindset. She's in her car bouncin' on the way to work, pumpin' songs like "Independent" by Lil Boosie and Webbie. She's a role model, a lot of young girls want to grow up and be her and it's all good.

see anybody protesting that. I just wish that people of different generations and social classes would understand that words change meanings over

time.

Take the word "bad" for instance, now it means the complete opposite- good. I also wish our own black leaders would quit turning the usage of the It's all about growth. People word "bitch" evolve on their own timeline. into some sort When theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re 50, the the same 25 to of lyrical gen30 something year olds aren't go- ocide against ing to be walkin around using the our own black same terminology they use today. women. F.Y.I, rappers like Drake, The word "bitch" has many differ- Lil Wayne, Rick Ross, Kanye West ent applications and definitions. and ASAP Rocky don't All depending on the tone of voice, discriminate. They rap about bitchbody language and context in es of all races. I don't see any which it is used. Hell, the Merriam- white women protesting. It's just Webster Dictionary defines the like on Facebook. Someone will term bitch as a â&#x20AC;&#x153;A malicious, spitewrite a general post, just venting. ful or overbearing woman". I don't But, you always got that one who will stand up and paint a target on their own back by responding. Instead of criticizing the rapper who 126

writes about his personal experiences with women, why don't ya'll take the initiative to address the behavior lying beneath the word "bitch"? Let's get to the root of the problem if you're truly concerned. Or, do you just want something to hoop and holler about? That's one thing our leaders are good for- delivering a good speech. Which brings me to what drove me to finally write this article in the first place.

Marcelle Eades I think it's a very derogatory word and shouldn't be used at all. I know that's not going to happen though because there are too many people out there that thrive on using the word. Too many angry, volatile, men and women that will use it all day long. I don't think it's going away anytime soon. It doesn't cover all women.

black woman in the civil rights movement (I didn't catch her name)

I listened to the speech Rev. Al Sharpton gave during the cele-

and said she "wasn't no ho". The crowd went wild. I took that as a direct shot at the Hip-Hop community, myself included.

bration of the 50th anniversary of the march on Washington. In reference to rap lyrics he said "Rosa Parks wasn't no bitch". Then, he referred to another

I find it narrow minded and repulsive that one of our own African American leaders would insinuate that by using the word "bitch", rappers are throwing insults at the women in African

Author Deszion Amani Nasir I don't call my girlfriends that, nor do I allow them to call me that. What they do when I'm not around is on them, but they know I don't play that. I don't

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Miles TruDigital McNeil I only use it when someone's being a bitch, male or female .

American history. It's this type of rhetoric that is causing a greater divide between our generations.

Eric Moore Jr. Any word only has the meaning or weight assigned to it. Meaning, if you apply it to you in offense you will be offended. A husband one day joking around may be able to say it, but that same evening say it and get cussed out. We give these words the power and unconsciously turn that switch on and off depending on the circumstance. It seems rather silly the older I get. I don't like nigga anymore than nigger and have been offended when called that by younger Blacks...but my dumb ass still uses it among my buddies. Ultimately I believe we give these words too much power. At the same time and in direct contradiction to that statement, we need to speak better to our friends and loved ones.

Dear Rev. Sharpton, when a rapper uses the word "bitch" he is referring to the gold digger who is trying to use him for his money and his fame. And when he uses the word "ho", he is talking about the promiscuous woman he mistakenly gave his heart to only to find out she's been sneaking around with other men. I've never heard anybody classify Ms. Rosa Parks into a group of bitches and ho's except for you during your speech. So again, I'm challenging everybody that has an issue with rappers who use the term "bitch' to get to the root of the problem. Address the behavior, not those who write about it.

you feel it reflects negatively towards black women as a whole, why don't you reach out and educate some of your misguided sisters? Rappers couldn't rap about certain things if they didn't exist. Feel me?

I love women. For real I love ya'll, all kinds, shapes, races and sizes, different social statuses and backgrounds. I hear over and over how as men we need to respect our women, but not enough about how our women need to respect themselves.

For the strong black women who cringe at the sound of the word because Thomas Long If it fits the situation fine but not just used randomly.

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