Volume 1, Issue 10 - April 23, 2014

ApRIL 23 2014 voL. 01 IssUE 10 URBANItENEWs.CoM

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URBAN DWELLING living smart in the city /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

p.05 / Eco friendly style p.06-07 / Urban spaces p.08 / Maximizing space p.09 / Cheap decor

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No place like home for derby girls

pop trash

Border City Brawlers search for home track

Recycled art gives new life to retro rubbish

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THE URBANITE » URBANITENEWS.COM » APRIL 23 2014 » 2

REMEMBERING ALISTAIR MACLEOD

C-23 THE FAIR ELECTIONS ACT

Canadian author Ray Robertson once told me the trick to teaching creative writing was to make 95 per cent of students better readers and the other 5 per cent better writers. I don’t know what Alistair MacLeod thought about that strategy. I didn’t know the man well. But I was often touched by his kindness in treating me as a writer and insisting on better writing.

It’s an understatement: free and fair elections are vital to our democracy. So too is debate about how to fix problems that occurred in the 2011 federal election.

The acclaimed, Prairie-born novelist died Sunday at the age of 77.

In 2009, I worked with Nino Ricci on a novella when Nino was writer-in-residence at the University of Windsor.

Invariably I’d run into MacLeod. He was jovial in that sly way of his, giving you exactly what he wanted you to have and nothing more. “Stay with it,” he always said as a parting gift. When the book was finished, I approached him for a blurb. “Perhaps,” he said. “Let me read the thing.”

Not long after, I was invited to pick up a package from the English department secretary. Inside, was the coveted blurb from MacLeod accompanied by a few sheets of forthright criticism and suggestions. I didn’t dare use the blurb without addressing and incorporating MacLeod’s suggestions because they were essential advice from an artist who was the very best of writers.

Alistair MacLeod wrote in a strong voice that was undeniably masculine and regional. If Can Lit is to have any future amongst the young men of Canada, MacLeod’s muscular, honed prose is the beacon lighting the way forward.

It’s no small irony that Alistair MacLeod left one blighted part of Canada to spend most of his adult life in another and in doing so, enriched the entire nation. He honoured Cape Breton on the page; he honoured Windsor in the life he lived here. The great existential psychotherapist Irv Yalom suggested that to find true value in life, we should try to ripple into the lives of others. I know that many people when they think of MacLeod feel the force of his ripples — the teacher, the mentor, the wry joker and the impish figure at Phog Lounge delighting in his children playing the music of his home turf. May that force carry us through our grief and inspire us to stay in touch with his genius of mind and heart.

- TIMOTHY DUGDALE

Remember what happened: a federal court judge ruled fraud occurred in six electoral districts; the Guelph robocall controversy where a still-unknown actor, with access to a political party database, misdirected voters from their proper voting locations on election day; and the Etobicoke-Centre election result that was overturned by a federal court because of illegal vouching and voter fraud, only to be upheld by the Supreme Court of Canada in spite of what it called serious irregularities.

In Canada, our elections are administered by citizens, mostly nominated by political parties, under the watchful eye of the chief electoral officer and his supporting bureaucracy, Elections Canada.

Ask Elections Canada what went wrong in 2011 and its commissioned report, by Harry Neufeld, contains the following observations: • Irregularities in 1 of 6 voter registrations; • Irregularities in nearly half of all identity vouches; • 165,000 cases of irregularities across Canada, or about 500 per electoral district.

Neufeld concluded these were “serious errors, of a type the courts consider ... can contribute to an election being overturned ...”

Our government agreed with these, and many of the report’s additional findings: that voter information cards are error-prone; and that many failed to vote because they didn’t know where to vote, when to vote, or what identification to bring when voting.

So what, then, is all the fuss around our Bill C-23, the Fair Elections Act? First, it’s not about C-23’s measures to create — for the first time ever — a registry of robocalls; nor the first ever mandate that scripts and call lists be maintained to assist in possible post-election investigations of suspected election fraud. Both measures will mean the end of fraudulent robocalls.

Nor is there question about requiring Elections Canada to make consistent and public its rules, interpretations and its compliance agreements.

Rather, debate on C-23 is focused on what to do with the evidence of electoral “irregularities” and the roles of citizens, political parties, and Elections Canada in the administration and oversight of federal elections.

C-23 reflects our differing approach and explains why there is opposition, especially by the chief electoral officer, to our proposed reforms.

For example, Elections Canada’s report recommends reducing to zero the number of irregularities from voter vouching. That’s where someone without proper ID to vote has his or her identity vouched for by someone else. It’s like saying, “If you don’t trust who I say I am, trust someone else.” Try to board a plane or cross back into Canada from another country using that one! Elections Canada’s solution to vouching irregularity: expand, not curtail, use of the error-prone Voter Information Card by making it approved ID. Did you ever receive one that said “occupant” at your address? By contrast, C-23 establishes voters should produce at least one of 39 approved pieces of identification, and ends vouching (Ontario did that three provincial elections ago).

In the end, Elections Canada’s report blames citizens for screwing up the administration of the vote; blames party candidates representatives for getting in the way of its professional bureaucrats in polling locations; and seeks to strip political parties of administrative tools that help them drive up voter turnout. No wonder Elections Canada’s solution is more bureaucrats, a bigger budget and more powers for its CEO. What you won’t find in its report: Elections Canada, as election overseer, bears no blame. Everyone else, in effect, has failed them.

Instead, our government’s approach in C-23 is to ensure the integrity of our voting system; remove the influence and big money of special interests; keep citizens, not bureaucrats, at the heart of our election administration; and ensure that, should investigations into suspected voter fraud be required, that the commissioner of Canada Elections can investigate independently.

— JEFF WATSON, MP ESSEX PARLIAMENTARY SECRETARY TO THE MINISTER OF TRANSPORT

Neither is the fuss about important measures to close the loophole whereby unpaid political loans end up as illegal donations.

Publisher/Editor: Natasha Marar (natasha@urbanitenews.com) Managing Editor: Jon Liedtke (jon@urbanitenews.com) Art Director: Stephen Hargreaves Contributors: Jay Verspeelt, Dan Savage, Stephen Hargreaves, Walter Petrichyn, Jenn McMullan, H.G. Watson, Elise Keller, Jamie Greer

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THE URBANITE » URBANITENEWS.COM » APRIL 23 2014 » 3

Roller derby league with nowhere to hang skates Border City Brawlers still in search of a permanent space

Border City Brawlers took on Fergus Feimss at Adie Knox Herman Arena last Saturday » Photo Joe Mac Photos

joN LIEDtKE Swimmers have the Windsor International Aquatic and Training Centre, the Windsor Spitfires and Express share the WFCU Centre and while bikers, joggers and walkers have over 100 km of mixed use trails, Windsor’s Border City Brawlers still don’t have a place to call home.

The Brawlers were formed by a group of women in 2010 as a non-profit to bring sustainable derby to the city. The league has been homeless since 2012 when they lost the ability to practice and play at the former armouries (future University of Windsor campus) and the Windsor Arena (future home of Catholic Central High School).

“We had some possibilities [at a permanent space], but they’re way out of our price range,” explained BCB spokesperson Kim Reaume.

With an average of 350 people attending each bout (a practice or game) paying $10 per ticket in advance or $12 at the door, the league is seeing about $3,500 generated per bout. While it’s not a huge number by any count, the Brawlers are getting roughly half the numbers that the Windsor Express sees on average.

Border City Brawlers and The Canadian Clubbers derby teams opened their season Saturday with a double header win and lost against Fergus Feims and Orangerville’s Pulp Affliction, respectively.

This year, the Brawlers plan on using Adie Knox arena for bouts because it had the most available dates, but the the set-up and teardown time required for practices and games is an issue.

“We have to lay down a track … it gets to be a pain ...” said Reaume, explaining the entire process takes roughly 30 to 45 minutes. “If we have to do that for every practice, it eeks into our practice time, we’re paying by the hour ...”

The league has been attending city council meetings to “make our presence known,” according to Reaume, who hopes that the city sees the merit of helping the Brawlers find a permanent home.

An ideal venue would be an arena or any flat space that is roughly 92 square metres.

“We’ve looked into empty bingo halls, buildings … any vacant building in this city, we have looked into.”

Percy Hatfield MPP Windsor–Tecumseh

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The Brawlers have to rely on using temporary community properties that install ice during the winter which cuts into the season and revenue from ticket sales. “If we have a permanent place, we can have bouts all year round, we can raise money all year round.”

Without a permanent venue, sponsors aren’t willing to commit because they don’t have assigned space to advertise. While community support has been overwhelming, Reaume explained not having a permanent home takes its toll on both the league and fans.

“We’re stuck [and] it’s really hard and frustrating for us. When we get bounced around, it’s hard for our fans, and us, I’m praying that someone comes through …”

Ward 7 city Coun. Irek Kusmierczyk sees the benefits of sports tourism and local sports teams and leagues.

“I think it’s wonderful in terms of attracting, bringing people here, getting them to see the city, to see how lovely the region is,” said Kusmierczyk. “One of the benefits that I see from the emphasis on sports tourism is that a lot of the people that might otherwise not have come to Wind-

sor or maybe would not be on the radar, they have a reason to come here and hopefully thats enough of a reason to get them to come back.”

Kusmierczyk said that the city wants to support community organizations directly through helping them hold events in community spaces and indirectly through “helping the Brawlers identify a potential partner in the city that they otherwise might not have thought about.”

“I do believe that there is a role for the city to play in terms of helping these community organizations get rooted here in the city,” he said.

Kusmierczyk added that while the onus must be put on organizations to bring forward a viable business plan that he supports local grassroots entrepreneurship.

“Anytime that there’s an opportunity for grassroots economic development, that’s something that I’m very much interested in looking at, but again the onus is on the organization to put forward an objective, realistic business plan,” he said. “Anytime you see organic grassroots organizations coming to life, the city should take a good long hard look at it.”

Q

THE URBANITE » URBANITENEWS.COM » APRIL 23 2014 » 4

There is strong consensus that a provincial election in Ontario may be imminent. An argument can be made that all three main parties have a plausible opportunity to form the next government. Given the province’s highly charged political landscape, the only certainty with respect to outcome is no one can truly be certain who will form the next government or even who will form the Official Opposition and who will be the third party.

In this column, the RCP panel weighs in on the issues going into the election that may come to define the ballot question. As an added bonus we’ll also offer predictions regarding outcomes.

Rino Bortolin People’s frustration and disapproval of the way the Liberals have handled the gas plant fiasco will undoubtedly become the singular issue of this impending provincial election.

For a government that has run its course, it’s still incredible to me they continue to poll high enough to potentially form another minority government.

If the opposition parties can capitalize on the public’s outrage over the gas plant scandal and offer viable policy alternatives, we should see a change in government.

Therein lies the problem. While people may be disgusted with the way the Liberals have dealt with the gas plant scandal and are up in arms over the latest energy policies such as time of use billing, the opposition parties have not stepped up to offer much of a clear

Rino Bortolin

Rose City Politics:

»predicting a possible

provincial election difference in policy direction. Even with respect to the gas plant scandal, let’s remember that both opposition parties also vowed to cancel those plants. We have heard nothing from either the NDP or PCs about time of use billing and to this point, have not really seen a clear direction from either party on how they would balance the books.

While there is an appetite for change, we will have to see some strong policy announcements for people to move decidedly to either the right or the left. With strong local representation like Teresa Piruzza, it is not impossible to foresee another very tight minority government. While I predict a PC minority government to be formed, I also predict that we will be heading to the polls in less than a year for another provincial election.

Kieran McKenzie It’s a complicated set of political variables in the mix as Ontarians seem destined for a trip to the polls this spring. Of course, Liberal lies and coverup form the pretext of this election, but will that ultimately become the ballot question? Both opposition parties have to make sure it does but must also convince voters that they are the answer. In both of the previous two provincial elections, the Liberals were poised to be defeated, but when push came to shove, Ontarians opted to stick with the devil they knew. Some may argue that this time it’s different [and ponder] “the Liberals have gone too far.”

Perhaps ...

Husband, father (of three), chef/co-owner Rino’s Kitchen & Ale House. Rino Bortolin is a passionate advocate for all things local especially local food. Bortolin’s community activism focuses on local municipal issues, having run for city council in 2010. He’s contributed on many local campaigns at all three levels of government.

Both Tim Hudak’s Progressive Conservatives and Andrea Horwath’s New Democrats have a job to do. For Hudak I think it’s to reassure Ontarians he is moderate and for Horwath it’s that the party is moderate. Polling data has shown the PCs have been on top for a while now but Hudak is the least liked leader of his two main competitors. The NDP, though within striking distance, are third in the party horse race but have Ontario’s most popular leader in Andrea Horwath.

The Liberals may perhaps have the most daunting challenge of all — to convince a very angry electorate that they aren’t who they’ve demonstrated (repeatedly) they are.

The campaign will matter — a lot. This is why I think we’re headed for an NDP minority.

Leadership evaluations are central considerations in the vote choice matrix in elections and Horwath has a clear advantage over Hudak, who will appeal to a greater number of the “throw the bums out” constituency.

This is who will ultimately decide this election — disgruntled (potentially) former Liberal voters … do they break left, right, stay put or do they ultimately stay home?

Don Merrifield Jr.

seriously accounted for — I would expect the NDP to finally stop driving the getaway car in this financial robbery of Ontario’s future and trigger an election. Given the numerous scandals, cover ups and complete disregard for anything remotely close to financial responsibility, the Liberals will play the “that wasn’t us, that was the previous administration,” Sgt. Shultz defence (ask your parents), and the other two parties will do their best to show that many of the same people were in power then, as now.

The cancelled gas plants, oversaw the Ornge debacle, deleted e-mails, were complicit in the Green Energy fiasco; a billion here, a billion there, and various investigations that go along with that sort of behaviour will be the main talking points of the campaign. The NDP will go after accountability and fawn outrage over the behaviour of the Liberals, hoping everyone will forget they supported them the last couple years. While the Conservatives will paint the NDP as an accessory to financial robbery and corruption for keeping the current government in power.

I will predict the Conservatives will win the next election, but only a minority, as even Tim Hudak and his inner circle will find some way to screw this up. To answer my first question, given the mess Ontario is in, who really wants the job?

So you want to be premier? After the May 1 ‘budget’ — I use that term loosely as it will be filled with tons of promises and spending that the Liberals know will never have to be

Kieran McKenzie

Political activist/organizer with a passion for social justice issues. A lifelong Windsor-Essex resident, Kieran McKenzie holds an honours BA in political science from the University of Windsor and has been campaigning in both elections and on issues since he could walk.

Don Merrifield Jr.

Fourteen years as a Windsor realtor, musician, father of one son Miles, politics-run financially conservative yet socially liberal. Merrifield Jr. was a candidate in last municipal election in Ward 3 for city councillor, a cigar aficionado, motorcycle enthusiast and lover of travel.

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Make a succulent picture frame Succulents don’t get a lot of love in the plant world, which is too bad, because they’re a low-key plant that is easy to care for. Their hardiness also makes them the perfect plant to decorate with. For example, if you fill a shadow box with earth, stick a mesh frame over it, plant your succulents and let them root for about a week, you’ll end up with a unique piece of living art.

Reuse your liquor bottles as soap dispensers The usefulness of a liquor bottle can go far beyond drinking what’s inside.

Once you’ve emptied them, re-use the bottles as a funky soap dispenser in your bathroom or kitchen. All you need is a bottle — a mickey sized one will likely work best, though no judgment if you want to fill a 40 ounce bottle with hand soap — and a pump, which you can purchase at any home supply store.

Anything can be an herb planter If you drink coffee or tea, chances are you have an overabundance of coffee cups. There is no need for them to collect dust in your cabinet. Mugs, teacups and any other extra containers you have are perfect for growing fresh herbs. All you need to do is buy seeds for the herbs you want, plant them in your container of choice and make sure to set them up in an area with lots of sunlight. The containers you use depend entirely on your sense of style — will it be a Pinterest friendly floral teacup or an irony laden Garfield mug?

Use old t-shirts and fabric to jazz up a home office Bulletin boards are a pretty essential tool for those of us who work at home, whether we’re using them to organize our lives or just need somewhere to post all the images that inspire us. Too bad the corkboard itself is so damn ugly. So why not cover it up? Lots of people paint their bulletin

URBAN DWELLING

eco friendly decorating

living smart in the city /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

»DIY

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»home brew Jordan and Joshua Goure (owners of Brew microbrewery)

This place is an east-end man cave fit with rustic gems. Its contents are a mix of new and old with Ikea shelving and reclaimed fire doors. The open concept space features textures vis a vis the rustic, worn, natural woods, steel and leathers, and has the vibe of a bachelor pad with decor that feels lifted from the pages of Esquire.

What made you choose the apartment?

Jordan: We choose the loft because the space had a lot of natural potential. Also, I think at some point everyone has seen a loft on a TV show somewhere and been like, “I would love to own something like that in my lifetime.”

Why did you choose to decorate in this particular style?

Jordan: Choosing to decorate this style was easy because the loft had such a predefined character that we wanted to build upon. We could have hid all the natural woods and drywalled everything and went with a real modern feel but instead choose to accentuate the warm and rustic origin of the space.

How long did it take to put together and how challenging was it?

Jordan: The loft didn’t take too long to put together since most of the renovation was cosmetic. However, it was a challenging because we’re working with a space that’s over 100 years old. Framing is a lot trickier when you’re dealing with slightly uneven floors and joists.

Where have your pieces come from?

Jordan: A lot of the pieces we have are refinished or refurbished by Joshua. He does the design work on all of our projects. The piece we like the most in the loft is Joshua’s bedroom door. He took an old fire door we found in the basement of the Pour House, stripped most of the paint off of it and built custom steel sliding door hardware for it with our father.

URBAN DWELLING //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////.7

Âť Photos Jay Verspeelt

Âťmid

century mods

Kate Isley and Justyn Brando (architecture students)

This loft, located in a red brick building at the corner of Park and Pelissier streets, has expansive windows, exposed brick and stylish, mid-century modern furnishings.

What made you choose the apartment?

Isley: I was visiting a friend that lived in the building, we walked past the open door to the apartment and the previous tenant was in the process of moving out. The view through the beautiful large windows into city was amazing and I knew I had to have it. It was love at first sight.

Why did you choose to decorate in this particular style?

Brando: It is a complement and at times a compromise to both of our styles. In a bachelor pad, every inch has to be accounted for, so selecting pieces that are modern simplistic with punches of quirky character has worked well for us so far.

How long did it take to put together and how challenging was it?

Brando: We have lived here since the beginning of August and have gradually been assembling the space since. The most challenging part is learning to live in a space with no closet and very limited storage. My favourite challenge has been dividing up each zone to maximize our living.

Where have your pieces come from?

Isley: Craigslist (Detroit) has been a terrific source for pieces from the 60s and 70s. Since Justy and I are architecture students on a budget, and interior design enthusiasts, finding high quality, sustainable and timeless pieces from local manufacturers/designers such as Steelcase and Herman Miller/Eames has brought us great satisfaction. 360 Vintage is one of our most recent vintage store finds and is only a few blocks away and offers great selection at a very reasonable cost.

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»Buying a home »Maximizing your with RRsps

storage space

ELIsE KELLER

A home and a retirement for the price of one … kind of.

It’s one of the most confusing and important financial decisions a young adult will have to make. When you finally have some money to save and put aside for … something … should you be looking at retirement, or is buying your first home a better investment? You know that you will one day retire, but let’s be honest, it’s pretty far off. You have time. And the idea of having your own home, well that can be NOW! High school math teaches us the magic of compound interest from a pretty young age. It was Einstein who said, “Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world.

He who understands it, earns it … he who doesn’t, pays it.” Let me give you an example to really drive this home for you.

If, for example, 20-year-old Lucy makes a one-time $5,000 contribution to her registered retirement savings plans and earns an average 8 per cent annual return, and if she never touches the money, that $5,000 will grow to $160,000 by the time she retires at age 65. But let’s say she wait until she’s my age, 30, to make her single investment, that $5,000 would only grow to $73,900. If she waits until 40, that’s just about $40,000. So you see, time is the primary ingredient to the magic that is compounding.

It might seem like I’m leading you right

down the path to retirement savings, and dissuading you from saving for and buying your first home any time soon. But wait, I have a bigger plan. What if I told you that you could do both. The Home Buyers’ Plan is a program that allows you to withdraw funds from your RRSPs to purchase or contribute to the down payment on your first home. You can withdraw up to $25,000 in a calendar year (or $50,000 per couple).

jENN MCMULLAN

You do have to repay this within 15 years or you risk a pretty hefty fine, but you reap the rewards of tax deductible savings and can qualify for a pretty nice tax refund when you do purchase your home.

Nostadt, who owns Amazing Closets with her husband Kevin, said with the busy lives and schedules people lead these days organizing the space you have is a necessity.

“We have too many things, we do too many things and we go [to] too many places, that we need storage for everything we do in life,” she said.

Critics of this particular strategy will argue that you are essentially robbing your retirement fund. I can definitely see their point.

On the other hand, the realist in me knows that most young adults are incredibly eager to buy their first home, and maybe not so eager to save for retirement. In my mind, this is the best of both worlds, as the fines for not paying back your RRSP savings are enough to force at least some retirement savings early on.

To learn more about the Home Buyers’ Plan, visit Canada Revenue Agency at craarc.gc.ca.

Elise Keller is a financial co-ordinator of cash flow strategies with Soulliere Financial.

Teresa Piruzza zza

Member of Provincial Parliament for Windsor West

Helping Families Succeed @t @teresapiruzza

Teresa Piruzza

2570 Dougall Avenue, Windsor, Ontario N8X 1T6 (519) 977-7191 tpiruzza.mpp.co@liberal.ola.org

Robert Fulghum once taught me everything I needed to know about life I learned in Kindergarten. I learned to share, not eat Play-Doh and keep my space tidy. Having a disorganized area and clutter can affect everything in your daily life from your business to your kids, says organizational expert Joan Nostadt.

Learn Nostadt’s three P’s to help you create order from the chaos:

prioritize: When beginning the organizing process, it’s important to prioritize two things: one, the area you want to start with and two, what’s important to the area. A lot of people tend to get overwhelmed at the idea of tackling a dysfunctional pile, whether it be papers, clothing or appliances. Nostadt’s word of advice to prevent anxiety from snowballing is to take a step back from looking at the whole picture and start with the most important area or room.

“Do that room only and then take a breather and don’t do anything the next day, it’s like exercise,” she said. “Go onto the next room two days later if you have the time, but don’t tackle too much at once, because it is overwhelming.”

Once you’ve taken the first step the next is to physically assess the things you have.

From there you can narrow down what specific kind of storage will work for you.

“The biggest thing we’ve come across is [customers] really don’t have a clue of how much they have to store,” said Nostadt.

“So an inventory on the customer’s part is really critical. While we’re in the customer’s

house we go through all their criteria, so their needs, their wants, what they have and what they want to store depending on the room.”

Nostadt said once their customers have made a list of what their priorities are, they can begin to scale out how the storage unit will look.

purge: Let’s face it, most clutter is built up material objects we no longer need but can’t seem to part with. There always seems to be some sort of excuse we use to convince ourselves.

After all, we might need that prom dress for a theme party, or who’s to say bell bottom jeans aren’t making a comeback?

“Rule of thumb, if you haven’t used it in six months, donate it, give it to a friend, use it some other way or get rid of it,” said Nostadt. “It’s purging what is really not important to you, and that you don’t foresee using within the next six months, that’s my best advice.”

According to Nostadt, it’s holding onto things we have no need for, that creates the excess in our lives that we all have.

“To give you an example, in my own kitchen the other day I went through the drawers for spring cleaning and I had three soup ladles, really do I need that?” she said.

place: Nostadt said a great tip to organizing a space and keeping it organized is to create a home for everything. Once it has a home, always try to put things back in that original place. Having a specific place for items can save you time, build more room to add things and keep you from having to de-clutter again later.

If you do end up getting another mess to sort through, just remember the three P’s: prioritize, purge and place.

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»Decorating on the cheap

You don’t need to break the bank to have a sharp looking pad » Photo Jay Verspeelt jay verspeelt Decorating can seem less than satisfying if you don’t have a huge budget to splurge on fancy items for your home.

There are numerous ways to stretch your dollar and still find creative pieces to make your place the envy of your friends. First off, pick one style. Sure, your parents giving you their hand-me-downs is great and a can of spray paint can go a long way, but there’s only so much money a can helps to save.

We all know about thrift stores and while generally Value Village will have some diamonds in the rough hidden in a corner along the back wall. beyond that, your budget isn’t going to accommodate higher end vintage shops.

What you need to do is learn the value of giving up your dignity. Start scouring street corners for that perfect piece. Look

for couches that would look better on your hardwood than on your neighbour’s porch, literally. If the guy next door has a nice looking couch on his porch, offer him $20 or a case of beer — he has a couch on his porch, he’s not going to say no.

Take a drive around town at the end of April. With students graduating and leaving their west-end university abodes, lots of furniture that may only have a few years wear will suddenly become available curbside. Bring a friend and pick-up truck for the big pieces.

Nothing’s made to last anymore ... not anything in your price range anyway. If you’ve ever owned Ikea furniture, you know this, it’s only made to last until you move into your next place and the veneers get scuffed or fall off. There’s a fix for this: start embracing old things, I mean really old.

Your grandparents must be in their 80s by

now and that means they’re not long for this world. It may sound crass, but you’re next-in-line for their stuff and it’s likely a treasure trove of vintage and antique finds.

Don’t let their life’s acquirings go to waste.

But why survive off only your own kin?

Keep your eye on the obituaries. When someone kicks the proverbial bucket, their things can end up at the local goodwill store or an estate sale.

If being a moral vulture isn’t your thing, that’s okay too because Kijiji isn’t a bad idea either. The longer something has been listed, the better the chance you can talk the person down in price. Don’t be afraid to do that, but don’t offer them half either; remember, you’re frugal, not a jerk.

The yard sale is the last vestige of stupid people. eBay has laid out general market prices for things and most stores seem

to know it. Go to a yard sale, bring along your phone and check brand names on eBay. Some tips to consider: the best finds are likely had at yard sales early in the spring season, in more affluent neighbourhoods (yes, rich people have yard sales too) and sometimes involve multiple homes. Scan the classifieds and Kijiji for listings and plan for an early morning.

A final way to furnish your home on the cheap is to cut corners where you can with what you have. For instance, remove the cupboard doors from your kitchen and turn them into shelves. Take on some DIY home projects and don’t concern yourself with the pompous opinions of others; your space is your own to eat, sleep and make love in. Put in the effort and you’ll be rewarded. Everything in life comes down to time or money and you are more likely to have time than money around here.

arts

THE URBANITE » URBANITENEWS.COM » APRIL 23 2014 » 10

Making w.a.v.e.s.

A Nuit Blanche style festival of hi-tech lights and art comes to Windsor WALtER pEtRIChyN Taking art out of museums and outside for night viewing, when done right, can entice the masses. Nuit Blanche does it right, and Windsor’s w.a.v.e.s. hopes to create a similar but unique festival this September for people to celebrate their own nighttime art spectacle. w.a.v.e.s. (Windsor’s Artists, Visions, Energies & Sculptures) is a new art festival taking place Sept. 26-27 along the river at the Windsor Sculpture Park. The two-day event showcases local artists’ works of art, culture and technology. Applications are being accepted for outdoor art installations until April 30.

w.a.v.e.s. will set the Windsor Sculpture Garden alight this fall » Photo Jay Verspeelt

CANADIAN R ESIDENCY.U S

Selected artists will be given grants by the cultural affairs department from the City of Windsor. The jurors are looking for large installations from emerging artists, community groups and student-led teams.

Cathy Masterson, manager of cultural affairs, said inspiration for w.a.v.e.s. came from Windsorites, the Windsor Sculpture Park and the Detroit River.

“This festival isn’t just about using electricity … there are many forms of waves … kinetic energy, solar, wind and many more.

Applicants are encouraged to think of how they can obtain the energy they require … perhaps the audience rides bikes to generate the energy for the project or perhaps there is solar or wind power involved,” said Masterson.

Doug Sartori of Hackforge Windsor is participating in w.a.v.e.s. through a collaboration with Bike Friendly Windsor to showcase P.O.V. [Persistence of Vision] on bikes to observers. P.O.V. on bikes is essentially attaching colourful LED lights on a bike’s wheel. Animated glowing wheels would be seen dotting bike paths during the evening event.

“Hackforge is a non-profit organization dedicated to building community and collaboration among people interested in science and technology,” said Sartori. “Besides the hackerspace, we are interested in connecting our tech enthusiasts with the community at large in constructive ways.”

“We have many talented artists and performers who are working and producing some really interesting and untraditional projects around environmentalism, social justice, multiculturalism, sound and light installations and multimedia projects,” said Masterson. “The sculpture park is located along a moving river … these waves can be translated into so many different aspects of people’s work and so this became our starting point.”

Sartori spoke about Hackforge’s role in the festival.

For w.a.v.e.s., the audience’s ability to interact with the art installation is one key factor used to determine whether an application will be accepted.

Festivals focused on fusing art, technology, and culture have been highly successful around the world.

“Artists and creative thinkers need to demonstrate in their application how the audience will be engaged in the activity: how will their imagination be sparked, how will they connect with the works on display?

Ideally projects will offer participatory experiences or performance components,” Masterson explained.

The w.a.v.e.s. application indicates a lack of Wi-Fi and limited electrical supply on site.

Installations that require a lot of electricity, or artists who have trouble securing portable electricity sources, should consider getting creative with other energy sources for their artwork.

“The w.a.v.e.s event is all about connecting communities and showcasing Windsor innovation. Hackforgers are looking forward to engaging with artists and others in the community. Through the P.O.V project we hope to inspire people to think about other ways to combine technology and culture.”

“Some (of these festivals) focus on one aspect of art and technology such as sound, or light or film and some embrace a multitude of applications: notably, Nuit Blanche, which in Canada happens in Toronto, Montreal, Ottawa and Calgary and Detroit’s DLECTRICITY. Similar festivals are international in scope too with Sonar in Barcelona, Visions of the Present in Stockholm and Vivid in Sydney,” said Masterson, adding talks are underway for a collaborative installation with DLECTRICITY this year.

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albums

I

of 5

cowboys in cardigans cockatoo self released

Windsor alt. rockers Cowboys in Cardigans have released their debut, self released LP, Cockatoo.

Multimedia pieces fill POP Hair Gallery for the third year running » Photos Natasha Marar

POP trash

Recycle art show creates new from old NATASHA MARAR One man’s trash is another man’s art.

POP Hair Gallery is hosting its third annual Recycle Show through May 24. Doubling as an art gallery, the Erie Street hair salon is displaying local artwork made of at least 80 per cent recycled materials.

POP co-owners Carla Homenick and Tracy Paterson started Recycle Show to bring a unique art event to the city.

“It’s one of my favourite shows to do,” said Homenick, who is a painter and sculpture herself.

“We wanted a creative way to manufacture art of something you would normally dispose.”

Participating artists this year include Adele Steinberg, Sean Gammon, Jay Raven, Bruce Jamieson, Grace Charron, Peter Baillie, Carla Homenick, Tracy Paterson, Rachel Gray and Rick Pellarin.

“In a city like Windsor, sometimes art goes by the wayside … what we’re trying to do here is continue to keep it thriving in the city. The way the market fluctuates, certain things get passed off. Art should never be passed off.”

Artwork from first-time participants includes a lamp by Bruce Jamieson, and Jay Raven, who made a large 3-D splatter painting with Egyptian hieroglyphics flanked with cardboard paper rolls.

A bubble wrap dress created by 10-year-old Grace Charron is also on display in the front window of POP. “She likes to enter every time we do a Recycle show. Last year she did a piece, a Homer Simpson painting, all out of bread and milk tabs,” said Homenick. “She really stepped up her game this year … and she will be wearing it for the day of the show.”

Homenick also remarked about the talent of one artist whose work is featured often at POP. “Sean Gammon has worked with us in the last four shows we’ve had. His stuff gets a really good response,” she said. “He does some really cool stuff on skateboards.”

Gammon collages images taken from magazines, advertisements and junk mail onto new skateboards. He describes his style as punk rock meets horror movies. His skateboards sell between $125 for one board and $200 for a two-board piece.

“A lot of my artwork has to do with social issues and justice and being anti-corporate. I originally started doing them (collages) on canvas,” said Gammon, who has been making collages on skateboards for the last three years.

Gammon uses recycled materials for his artwork and that aligns with his interest in participating in Recycle Show.

“Why not? It’s going to be recycled anyway. I think people should take a look at their recyclables … they can use it for something else, it doesn’t necessarily need to be art.”

“Artists traditionally don’t have a lot of money. A lot of times if you want to create something you use what you have, what you can find,” he added.

The salon and gallery are open 10 a.m. to 7 p.m.

Tuesdays through Saturdays. Recycle Show is on at POP Hair Gallery, 973 Erie St., until May 24.

The artist reception takes place April 26 from 7-10 p.m.

It’s the kind of album you’d want to turn off halfway through the first song, not because it’s bad but it feels like it should have come out 10 years ago. It sounds simple and out of date, like Lennie Small playing air guitar at the Whiskey a Go-Go. Cockatoo has standard four-onthe-floor drum beats with stereotypically distorted strings. It boasts lyrics that sing about quintessential rock and roll tripe. The lyrics need maturing. For instance, “I’m young, well hung and ready to rock” is a line on the track “Sloppy Drunk.”

It’s not to say it isn’t well produced, and in fact the vocals are strong.

It’s a tight sounding album, but you have to be a terrible musician to play off time to a click track.

This catchy 10-song album was recorded at MLK studio in Windsor and features Jamie Reaume, Jordo Tough, Devon Pastorius and Taylor Horne.

The music sounds akin to Buckcherry or something one might hear on 89X. The band has been putting out humorous videos in preparation for the album’s release and it’s possible that the cock-rock persona might all be an act.

— jay verspeelt

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Raleigh Ritchie Black and Blue Sony Music

Actor Jacob Anderson, best known in the UK for his portrayal of Omen in 2008’s Adulthood, or appearing alongside Matt Le Blanc and Stephen Mangan on the BBC2 program Episodes. He has even landed a role as Grey Worm, the leader of a group of soldiers called The Unsullied in the nerdgasm that is Game of Thrones. Though arguably the best role Anderson has played is that of his musical alterego Raleigh Ritchie.

The ‘actor-turned-musician’ is a scary, and usually bad thing (see; Lindsay Lohan, Scarlett Johansson, Vanessa Hudgens, etc.), but Raleigh Ritchie is another story.

And though his second EP, Black and Blue, hasn’t made any waves on this side of the pond, his brooding, Frank Ocean meets Drake meets Morrissey rich tenor is primed for American radio’s recent swing away form dated RnB sounds.

The lyrically powerful and dramatic lead-off “Stronger Than Ever” sets the tone for a unfortunately short (four-song) EP. The track prepares for a grandeurs conceptual album (see Janelle Monáe’s The ArchAndroid), further enforced by the dynamic and beautifully assembled “Bloodsport,” the near psychedelic “Overdose,” and the minimal “Free Fall.” Then nothing, flip the tape, still nothing.

That’s when this rapper/actor thing causes problems; while Raleigh Ritchie should have been turning these four tracks into a stunning full length, Jacob Anderson was wandering around a desert as a Low Valyrian-speaking eunuch.

— stephen hargreaves

THE URBANITE » URBANITENEWS.COM » APRIL 23 2014 » 12 hULADoG

the Windsor scene

DANIEL johNstoN

w/Jamie Greer

paul jacobs drops Lp and moves out

New wax from Cowboys in Cardigans while MCA and Daniel Johnston get tributes jAMIE GREER Windsor’s music scene is a wonderfully rich and diverse pantheon of music. No matter what genre you’re in the mood for, you can usually find something to fill your night with sweet sounds.

In some sad news, it appears that we’re about to lose another talent — musician/ artist Paul Jacobs is heading to Montreal in May, but not before dropping a new album.

Following the split release, I’ll Listen To This Later, with California band Vaguess at the beginning of April, he released the full length I Need A Place To Keep My Stuff via his usual method, his bandcamp webpage.

Another romp through the garage surfpsych circus, Jacobs is great listening for fans of bands like The Seeds, The Black Lips or The Cramps. You can download yourself a copy (or stream it) at pauljacobs. bandcamp.com.

For the past while, local rockers Cowboys in Cardigans have been releasing some comedic vignettes via the web, tracking the progress of recording their new album.

This Friday, the fruits of their labour will finally be available. Cockatoo, the followup to 2012’s Unicorns EP, will be unveiled Friday, April 25 at Venue Music Hall (255 Ouellette Ave.), with special guests State of Us and Chelsey Danfield. Cowboys in Cardigans have only played a handful of shows the past year, but don’t let their inactivity fool you: these guys are seasoned veterans of the stage and one of the city’s tightest rock machines.

Local recording studio Rockerie Records, run by Scott Warren (Vultures?, This Is War, Somatose), is sadly closing its doors

at the end of this month. Over the years, Warren has recorded, engineered, mixed and/or mastered many local and national acts, including The Baretrees, PSYCHO, Meters to Miles, not to mention his own numerous projects. A private “farewell” party is planned this coming weekend with live music from new Windsor rock outfit TUG, Toronto’s Baretrees and Warren’s latest project, The Fresh Kills, which also features former Vultures? bandmates Andy Langmuir and Jeff Riley, and rounded out with Chris Martin (Lodown) and Dave Creed (Grand Maris).

Thrash punk legends The Heat Seeking Moisture Missiles return after a self-imposed hiatus (all the members are in other projects as well), bringing their GWAResque (musically) assault to The Coach & Horses (156 Chatham St. West, below Pogo’s) on Saturday, April 26. They’re bringing some of their other projects to the dance as well, including Violent Vatican (which also features members of Toque and RAID) and Esophagus (members of ADHD and After School Special). This is a free show and sure to be a sweaty and LOUD night.

Fans of Texas singer/songwriter Daniel Johnston will want to check out PestFest, a tribute night to the iconic, albeit troubled musician, on Saturday, April 26. An all-star cast of local musicians will be performing on stage at Phog Lounge (157 University Ave. West), including James Oltean-Lepp (James OL & The Villains, Star Trek: The Band), Travis Reitsma (Diane Motel), Chris Crossroads and many more. Doors are at 8 p.m., music at 9 p.m., and the night

features donuts, crafts tables, plus a midnight screening of the documentary The Devil and Daniel Johnston.

Everyone’s favourite local jazz/funk ensemble, Huladog, is taking their turn as part of the 4th Wall Music Series at The Capitol Theatre (121 University Ave. West) on Sunday, April 27. An early show (running 4 p.m. to 5:30 p.m.), is a musical education, presenting “The History of Funk.” Tickets are available now for $15 at the Capitol Theatre box office.

It’s great to see Ryan Barron’s Rose City Promotions back up and running. One of the hardest working promoters in the local hardcore, punk and metal scene, he’s brought a vast array of national and international underground hardcore bands to play in Windsor. On Sunday, April 27 he carries on the tradition with an all-ages show at The Dominion House (3140 Sandwich St.), featuring ICONS (London) and Kennedy (Montreal), paired with Windsor bands Minors, Uncle Ray and In Silence We Suffer in Silence. Show kicks off at 6 p.m. and it’s only $5.

Steven Oltean-Lepp (James O-L & The Villains) emerged as one of the music scene’s best kept secrets last year when he debuted as a solo performer singer/songwriter. He’s put together a pretty great band around his material called Tire Swing Co., which combines the moodiness of The National with the quirky folk grace of Bonnie “Prince” Billy. They’re performing an early evening show on Saturday, May 3 at The Windsor Beer Exchange (493 University Ave. West, 5 p.m. start), with openers

Walter Senko (ex-Credible Witness) and Chelsey Danfield. Best of all, it’s free!

Milk Coffee Bar (68 University Ave. West) continues to be the eclectic coffee house that puts on tons of cool nights with MCA Day on Saturday, May 3. Kicking off at 9 p.m., DJs Josh Bryant and Zonk Deck spin an entire night of Beastie Boys music in tribute to late Beastie Adam “MCA” Yauch, who sadly passed away two years ago this day. The night also includes a special Maschine tribute performance by Stefan Cvetkovic (The Walkervilles).

On Sunday, May 4, Villains Beastro (256 Pelissier Ave.) once again hosts The Record Show, a great little event featuring lots of local collectors selling rare and notso-rare vinyl. Admission is only $4 and features a live performance from experimental electronic duo Learning. The Record Show runs from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m.

In 1991, New York City’s The Slackers picked up the ska-punk-rocksteady torch from early giants like Madness, The Specials and Fishbone and ran with it. They’re still going strong 23 years later, with the release of last year’s My Bed Is A Boat EP. Their world tour brings them through Windsor for their first-ever local appearance at The Dominion House on Tuesday, May 6 at 8 p.m. Local death-ska favourites The Nefidovs and Indiana’s Green Room Rockers open the show. Advance tickets are now on sale at the Dominion House for only $15 ($20 at the door). It’s a rare chance to see such a renowned band in Windsor.

fooD& DrInk

Ask a brewer:

with Paul Brady, head brewer, Walkerville Brewery

joN LIEDtKE Q: What is a style of beer?

Sunflower Organic Cafe reopens on Ottawa Street May 1 » Photo Jay Verspeelt

Sunflower Organic Cafe moves west jAy vERspEELt On a quiet street opposite one of the city’s shadier looking gentleman’s clubs sits a now vacant building whose tenants outgrew it.

Patricia Julian and Tara Lecker are the mother daughter proprietresses of Sunflower Organic Cafe, who closed their Drouillard Road location mid-February in preparation for a May 1 reopening on Ottawa Street.

“We looked at the lease, we went to renew it and we decided to move to a bigger place,” said Julian. “We were really committed to being part of the restoration project there (in Ford City), [but] simply couldn’t find a place to rent. So we moved to the next street that we felt was part of revitalization.”

Sunflower Organic Cafe started as a result of a family member being diagnosed with terminal colon cancer. A physician from New York put the man on an organic diet.

“When he first started the diet my sister and brother-in-law were not holisticminded people,” said Julian. “That was like a throw out into left field to have to figure out exactly what that meant.”

Although the relative passed away, Julian said he lived 13 months longer than doctors had predicted. It was from that experience that the mother and daughter decided to open their own cafe.

The cafe offers homemade breakfast and lunch items, with sunflower sprouts gar-

nished atop a menu that includes chickpea and black bean burgers, wraps and salads. Their claim is they’re the only 100 per cent organic cafe in the city, although the food is not all vegetarian or vegan.

“And we use all recycled tables, silverware, glasses, a lot of our restaurant equipment is second hand so it’s kind of our way of saying, “There’s a lot out there in the world, let’s use it up,” said Julian.

The shop has moved into the former, and long vacant Creperie Omer, which closed in 2010. The trouble with the former Drouillard Road location is that it yielded little foot traffic, according to Julian. The cafe had seen a loyal following of clientele, some of whom could not eat anywhere else and would travel across the city according to the owners.

“I think what we’ll find here is that there are other businesses that can support and partner with the restaurant,” said Julian.

While preparing to open the new store, Lecker was overwhelmed by the amount of foot traffic on Ottawa Street.

“Just setting up here right now, how much foot traffic there is and how many people are coming in and asking us, ‘Oh when are you guys opening?’ So just even the foot traffic alone, by my only observation … it’s been quite astonishing,” said Lecker.

The cafe is slated to open May 1, and will be open Tuesday to Saturday 8 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Beer styles are pretty much defined by the region the beer originated in … it’s always defined by the type of yeast, the type of malted barleys that are used and sometimes specifically the hops as well, and you’d be surprised at how much water chemistry can lend itself to a beer style as well.

Those are the four basic ingredients of beer: malted barley, hops, water and yeast.

The first key factor [to determine a style], although it’s the last thing that goes in, is the yeast. There are essentially two major schools of beer and that’s ales and lagers.

Ales use an ale yeast that ferments at warmer temperatures and generally stay at the top of the tank: top-fermenting, warmer temperature and they work fast.

They’re the work horses of yeast.

Lagers however are the temperamental little brother: they’re slower, they ferment at cooler temperatures, at the bottom of the tank.

As far as colour goes [in determining a style], be it black beer or a yellow beer, that’s all dependant on the malt … a malt’s colour is dependent on how long it’s roasted.

[Brewers] kiln malt, they germinate it first, they get it wet, they let it grow a little. They dry it and depending on how long they dry it [determines] how dark it gets.

If it just dries a little it’s yellow, if it dries a little more an orange colour, then reddish brown, and when you forget about it for a week, you get black malt, which is why you have black stouts.

People often think dark colour means ale, when it does not. I can make a black lager, which we’ve done here before, or I can make a yellow ale … you can do anything with these equations.

Hops [are] usually used to counteract the sweetness of the malt, to balance. Hops come in all varieties and floral flavours,

anywhere from citrus grapefruit to something like an earthy leafy tone, pine … anything. You can make a beer bitter, flavourful or aromatic.

Water plays a big part too. If you have hard water, or soft water [it will] make all beer taste different … it completely changes the style of beer.

Q: Can you tell me about the new style of beer at Walkerville saison?

It’s a rather unknown style. A saison is a European style, done by Belgians but it’s French for season.

They can come in a few different varieties, either low or high alcohol, mid-range is not very common … [mine is] spicy or zesty.

Our Saison has quite a bit of rye in it which imparts that zesty pepperiness throughout. Typically, they’re designed to be refreshing; the reason they’re called a season or a farmhouse ale is because they were originally developed for farmworkers to drink in the summer.

Our goal is to make something really refreshing and not heavy but still robust and flavourful for people go, “Wow, this is good beer.”

The malt is one of the driving factors [in the flavour], the hops were not too significant of a profile changer and the particular yeast I used accentuated the particular spiciness.

There will be a little surprise that it tastes like this … it smells very much like a wheat beer but it tastes like a zesty robust pepperball.

I developed this Saison for Windsor.

I’ve been receiving a lot of feedback that young urbanites are looking for more flavourful things, they want to know what else is out there, so i thought, ‘how can I expand their horizons with something that’s still refreshing and fit of the season we’re in?’

I often try to brew to the season we’re in more than anything, more than my personal taste.

savage love

THE URBANITE » URBANITENEWS.COM » APRIL 23 2014 » 14

»Cams and panties

Q:

My son is 19, but due to some physical and social disabilities (mostly unseen), his emotional maturity level is closer to 14, though he is quite intelligent. After a lifetime of therapists, specialized education, and other interventions, he is now a freshman in college far from home. His dad and I are paying for his tuition, room and board, and books. He was expected to use his summer job earnings for personal expenses. His lack of social skills makes him dependent on alcohol and cigarettes to form his social life, and that plus his immaturity (imagine sending your son to college at age 14) means he went through his money quickly.

But he is still drinking and smoking and getting high. When he was home for his last break, I asked him how he affords to do this, and he wouldn’t tell me. You can imagine what went through my head. (Drug dealing?) I asked if it was safe and legal, and he said yes. After some snooping, I learned that he is using a webcam service for chats with men who offer “tips” for sexual viewing. I suppose this is technically safe and legal, but because I’m unfamiliar with the technology involved, I don’t know if he is putting himself at risk emotionally or if screenshots can be captured that can affect his future career, relationships, etc. I’m a longtime follower of your column, podcast, and books, and I hope that someday my son and I will be as close as you and your mother were. So tell me, Dan: What would Judy Savage do?

Worried Over Repercussions Regarding Incriminating Employment Deal

a:

Webcamming—aka camwhoring—is widely regarded as the safest form of sex work.

Webcammers aren’t in the same room with their clients (unlike strippers, lap dancers, escorts, foot-fetish-party girls, pro doms, etc.), and cammers have the ability to instantly block creepy, rude, or abusive viewers. But there are risks, WORRIED, chief among them how easily viewers can take screengrabs and record videos of a cammer’s sessions. So if your son is planning on a career as a teacher or a cop or a politician, it’s possible that pics and videos could come back to haunt him.

But with so many young people out there swapping dirty pics and videos (and so many old people doing it, too), and with so many students camming their way through college (getting naked online is arguably less of a risk to someone’s future prospects than crushing student-loan debt), a time when everyone will have a few incriminating images circulating online is quickly coming.

And at that point—which will likely coincide with your son’s entry into the workforce—a few stray dirty pics, videos, or GIFs won’t be the career-ending scandal that it is today.

Now here’s what Judy Savage, my late mom, would’ve said if she discovered that one of her four kids was camwhoring to pay college expenses: “You’re an adult, and I can’t tell you what to do.

You are going to make your own choices and you’re going to make your own mistakes. But you do have to listen to my concerns.

You owe me that.” Hesitating to hear Mom out would result in a single raised eyebrow—a move that had a paralyzing effect on me and my siblings—and then Mom asking if we would rather talk about her four C-section scars instead.

We always chose to hear her out.

So have a conversation with your son, WORRIED, but first familiarize yourself with the technology and the phenomenon that is camming. The New York Times wrote a great story on the risks and rewards of camming (“Intimacy on the Web, With a Crowd,” September 21, 2013), and the first episode of HBO’s Real Sex reboot, Sex//Now, focuses on camming. Checking out both might help you have a more informed, less freaked conversation with your son about how he’s paying for his booze, cigarettes, and pot.

Q:

My fiancée and I have a lovely GGG relationship. Recently we discovered a shared fantasy of unconscious sex—basically, one of us would be unconscious while the other would do whatever they like. Both of us are interested in both roles. Our question is how we go about fulfilling this fantasy. Are there safe ways to put each other to sleep?

GGG To ZZZ

a:

Try C-SPAN. If CSPAN doesn’t work, try golf—playing it, watching it, reading about it. If golf doesn’t work, try Ambien.

Q:

I’m a girl in my mid20s living in a large city. After listening to some of your older podcasts, I decided to hop on Craigslist to see if there were any boys that might like to buy my used undies.

I posted a few ads and got tons of responses. Money has been tight, so why not? I met up with a guy and exchanged a pair for $50.

Score! I went home and replied to a few more and met another guy the next morning for another $50. Both guys seemed nice, and I felt exhilarated after I walked away. But once I got home, I was extremely paranoid about the risk of being followed. I was up most of the night and constantly looking out the windows to make sure no one was there. My boyfriend is okay with me doing this; he just wants me to be safe about it. I think I was pretty safe. I set up a separate e-mail account, and I met them in public in the daytime. My boyfriend offered to go with me to meet these guys and hang back where he wouldn’t be seen. I’m fine with this, but we work different schedules, so it’s not realistic. And I don’t think having someone with me would ease my concern about being followed home. I looked into the sites that allow you to sell the goods online and mail them, but those don’t really work for me. You have to pay to use all of those sites.

You also have to pay to set up a PO box and have a way to accept payments. (PayPal also displays some of your personal info.) I don’t really have a lot of time to dedicate to selling my panties. I just want to do it every once in a while for some spare cash. So is there anything else I could do to

feel a little safer? Will this paranoid feeling go away after a few interactions? Or is my brain trying to tell me that I’m not cut out for this kind of thing? And exactly how dangerous is this?

Pensive And New To Intense Exciting Salaciousness

a:

There are thousands of women out there selling their used panties online, and you never read about one being stalked or murdered by a collector, PANTIES, but the news is full of stories of women being murdered by their boyfriends and husbands. I don’t mean to downplay the risks—or play fast and loose with the math (there are tens of millions of women with boyfriends and husbands)—and most women who sell their panties online aren’t meeting their customers face-toface. But if you don’t want to go the website route, here’s how you can sell your panties in person more safely: Get the Uber app on your phone and order a car after you make a sale. Having a driver drop you a mile away will cost you $5 or $10, PANTIES, but the peace of mind will be worth the price.

Get a whole year of Savage Lovecast magnums at savagelovecast.com.

» BY DAN SAVAGE » MAIL@SAVAGELOVE.NET » @FAKEDANSAVAGE

events

fInD anD subMIt events at Dylan Gott urbanItenews.coM/events Comedy Quarry | 9 p.m. | $12

COMING UP

Estuaries Phog Lounge

weDnesDaY, aprIl 23

saturDaY, aprIl, 26

Independent Music Primer Arts Council Windsor & Region | 6 p.m.-8:30 p.m. | $10-$15

C.C.’s Events: Spring Craft Show WFCU Centre | 10 a.m.-4 p.m.

Mary Poppins Dance Workshop Windsor Light Music Theatre | 7 p.m.

THE URBANITE » URBANITENEWS.COM » APRIL 23 2014 » 15 Jason Blanchard Bill Maher The Colosseum at Caesars Wind- Comedy Quarry | 8 & 10:30 p.m. | $12 sor | 8 p.m.

Laura Glover and the West-End Bottom Boys Phog Lounge

The Weekenders Tour w/ Kaptur & Sleepless FM Lounge | 9 p.m. | $6

MonDaY, aprIl 28

MCA Day Milk Coffee Bar | 9 p.m.

Start-up Information Session Pure Detroit Fisher Building Tour WindsorEssex Small Business Fisher Building (Detroit) | 11 a.m.- Centre | 3-4 p.m.

12 p.m.

sunDaY, MaY 4

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat tuesDaY, aprIl 29 Windsor Light Music Theatre | 8 Loose Leaf Tea Seminar & Tasting Zine Night w/ Rosina Riccardo Breathe Pilates & Fitness Studio | Riot Grrrl Tuesday film screening: p.m. | $16, $31 & $36 Civic Space | 7 p.m.-10 p.m.

2 p.m.-3:30 p.m.

A League of Their Own Baths w/ Young Fathers & P. Phog Lounge | 9 p.m.

Morris Jesus Christ Superstar Panel Discussion: Re-presenting Magic Stick Lounge (Detroit) | 8 Chrysler Theatre | 7:30 p.m. | $5- One’s Self and Another Autopilot w/ The Locusts Have p.m. | $12 $29.95 Art Gallery of Windsor | 2 p.m.-4 No King p.m.

Dominion House | 9 p.m. | PWYC MONDAY, MAY 5 Loop w/ The People’s Temple & Sisters of Your Sunshine Vapor Browns and Whites Libation thursDaY, MaY 1 Basics of Writing a Business Plan Magic Stick Lounge | 8 p.m. | $14 Tastin’ WindsorEssex Small Business Magic Stick Lounge & Alley Deck TECH N9NE w/ Freddie Gibbs, Centre | 3-4 p.m. thursDaY, aprIl 24 (Detroit) | 6 p.m.-10 p.m. | $30 & Krizz Kaliko, Jarren Benton & $40 Psych Ward Druggies Slow Roll-Cinqo de Mayo Simplified Bookkeeping WorkThe Fillmore (Detroit) | 7 p.m. | St. Andrew’s Hall (Detroit) | 6:30 shop Intimate Classics: Haydn & $20-$35 p.m.

WindsorEssex Small Business Friends Centre | 12 p.m.-1 p.m.

Windsor Symphony Orchestra | Brian Burke Quartet Blog Party 6:30 p.m.

Phog Lounge | 8 p.m.

Civic Space | 7-10 p.m.

Working with the Environment art show The Sound of Spring w/ Sam frIDaY, MaY 2 Ema w/ Downtown Boys Artspeak Gallery | 1 p.m.-5 p.m. Roberts Band Magic Stick Lounge (Detroit) | 7 The Fillmore (Detroit) | 7 p.m. | The Dead Samaritans p.m. | $10 Black Lips w/ Natural Child & $15-$35 FM Lounge | 10:30 p.m.

Duane: The Brand New Dog The Majestic (Detroit) | 7 p.m. | Broken City Lab presents The 6th Annual Evening of Pasta and tuesDaY, MaY 6 $15 ADV/$18 ATG Best of Awards Fun Web Video Marketing Civic Space | 7 p.m.

Fogolar Furlan Club | 6 p.m. | Downtown Windsor Business AcJesus Christ Superstar $10-$20 celerator | 9-10 a.m.

Chrysler Theatre | 7:30 p.m. | $5- The Eccentric Band $29.95 Gourmet Emporium | 7:30 p.m.

Ignite - FAB (Food, Arts, Bikes) Windsor Fiction Launch City Cyclery | 7 p.m.

Biblioasis | 7 p.m.

Chris Crossroads w/ The Lamb Jesus Christ Superstar Phog Lounge | PWYC Chrysler Theatre | 7:30 p.m. | $5- Joseph and the Amazing TechSpirit Animal $29.95 nicolor Dreamcoat frIDaY, aprIl 25 Windsor Light Music Theatre | 8 Phog Lounge Tony Coates p.m. | $16, $31 & $36 S.M.U.T. (Sisters Mixing Ultimate Intimate Classics: Haydn & Taloola Cafe | 8 p.m.-9 p.m.

Tunes) Friends Tara Watts Villains Beastro | 10 p.m.

Windsor Symphony Orchestra | Dylan Gott Taloola Cafe | 8-9 p.m.

10 a.m. | $15-$35 Comedy Quarry | 8 & 10:30 p.m. | $12 The Meds w/ The Royal Streets Working with the Environment art Phog Lounge | 9 p.m. | $5 show reception Pest Fest music w/ film screening Artspeak Gallery | 6:30 p.m.

Phog Lounge | 8 p.m.

Jason Blanchard Comedy Quarry | 9 p.m. | $12 Friday Evenings After Work Party sunDaY, aprIl 27 w/ Gary Van Lare saturDaY, MaY 3 Rino’s Kitchen | 7p.m.

C.C.’s Events: Spring Craft Show WFCU Centre | 10 a.m.-4 p.m.

Drinks of Walkerville Walking Deerhoof w/ Awkwafina & CelesTour tial Shore Sundays in the Studio: Garden of Canadian Club Brand Heritage MOCAD | 7 p.m. | $12 Delights Center | 1 p.m. | $5 Art Gallery of Windsor | 2 p.m.

Fridays Live!

Ray Robertson Book Launch Art Gallery of Windsor | 7 p.m.-10 Psycho w/ Jeffery David’s Blues Chatham-Kent Public Library | 2 p.m. | $7/Free AGW members Connection & Black Dog Moon p.m.

The Loop | 7 p.m. | $7 ADV/$10 Jesus Christ Superstar ATG Tire Swing Co. w/ Walter Senko Chrysler Theatre | 7:30 p.m. | $5& Chelsey Danfield $29.95 2014 Spring Fashion Show The Windsor Beer Exchange | 5 St. Clair College | 7 p.m. | $10 p.m.

CHAINIK V public/$5 students Taloola Cafe | 8 p.m.-9 p.m.

Joseph and the Amazing TechTemples w/ Drowners nicolor Dreamcoat Cowboys in Cardigans (Cockatoo Magic Stick Lounge (Detroit) | 8 Windsor Light Music Theatre | 8 LP release show) p.m. | $15 p.m. | $16, $31 & $36 Venue Music Hall | 9 p.m. | $10$35

weeklY MONDAYS Open Mic Surgery w/ James O-L Phog Lounge | doors 9 p.m.

TUESDAYS Open Stage Night w/ Year’s of Ernest Dominion House | 5 p.m.

V.O.M.I.T. (Vocal Open Mic Instrumental Talent) Villains Beastro Open Mic w/ Jamie Reaume The Manchester Pub WEDNESDAYS Wacky Wexican Wednesdays w/ Dee Russ Dominion House | 5 p.m.

P.U.K.E. (People Using Karaoke Equipment) Villains Beastro Vice Aerial Phog Lounge | 10 p.m.

Dave Russell Dominion House Tavern THURSDAYS Celtic Night w/ Mark Crampsie Dominion House | 5 p.m.

Funk Junkies The Manchester Pub | 10 p.m.

Open Mic w/ Anderson FM Lounge | 10 p.m.

FRIDAYS Crystal Head Fridays Level 3 Vodka Emporium | 10 p.m.

Loveless Fridays w/ Daniel Victor The Loop | 10 p.m.

After Work Party

Rino’s Kitchen & Ale House | 7 p.m.

ongoIng Art by Ayesha Drouillard Carrots n’ Dates | until April 30 12th Annual Smogfest art exhibition Milk Coffee Bar | until April 30 National Youth Arts Week Arts Council Windsor & Region | May 1-7

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THE MANCHESTER 546 Ouellette Ave, Windsor Ontario. N9A 1B7 | 519-977-8020 www.themanchester.ca Facebook.com/themanchesterpub | Twitter.com/Manchester_Buzz

MONDAYS Industry Mondays starting May 26th!

Kick-Off “Bombs Away” Contest (details to come!)

TUESDAYS Tuesday Night Music Club (full band open mic) with Jamie Reaume 10pm All Menu Burgers $8.99

WEDNESDAYS Pub Trivia 7pm $5 pints of Walkerville All Day Live Music with JücBox 10pm

THURSDAYS 2-for-1 Wings All Day The Funk Junkies (live funk) 10pm

FRIDAYS Fish N’ Chips Specials

SUNDAYS Karaoke with Big Pat Ryan 9:30pm $5 Caesars All Day WEEKEND ENTERTAINMENT LISTINGS AT THEMANCHESTER.CA

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