Volume 1, Issue 11 - May 7, 2014 by The Urbanite

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maY 7 2014 Vol. 01 issue 11 urBanitenews.Com

by accident by design

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new downtown design firm Five Ten Design

taking a bite out of detroit

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Jim Jarmusch vampire ﬂick hits screens in royal oak

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office spaces real life working environments

VIEWS GET BIKED; PEDDLING CYCLE STRUCTURES Biking at night is incredible. The streets are illuminated and isolated, and the bike becomes king. The cyclist has control of the streets and navigates through the city as an explorer, an architect, as someone with nothing to lose. While the average driver sleeps, the cyclist takes over the order of the lanes, avenues and roads. Now this might be different in bigger cities, such as Montreal. And since I lived and biked in both Montreal and Windsor, consider this opinion as a quick overview of the cycling infrastructure in two great urban areas. First, acknowledging the obvious: the population difference between Montreal and Windsor (1,649,519 vs. 210,891, according to Statistics Canada), and that Montreal has the Bixi program — the bike share program which serves 18 cities across the world. The company isn’t perfect though as Bixi filed for bankruptcy protection in January this year. Aside financial troubles, Bixi bike stations cover roughly a quarter of the island, which makes them easily accessible for an impromptu ride. Bike lanes are also impressive in the city of Montreal. The cement island barriers on Maisonneuve in the downtown core and one of the few green painted bike lanes are some examples of excellent biking infrastructure. These services do an incredible job to reassure cyclists of their rightful place on the streets, but

THE URBANITE » URBANITENEWS.COM » MAY 7 2014 » 2

there are locations where that security is lost; especially riding in safe cycling streets that turn into dominant vehicle thoroughfares. There are also some extremely unsafe biking areas: a 33-year-old cyclist was killed while riding through an underpass this past week. Windsor has its biking strengths and weaknesses too. Lincoln Road and Bruce, Gladstone, Parent, McDougall and Janette avenues have great bike lanes. A couple of local retail bike stores offer rental services. There is a multi-use trail starting in Lasalle that can take cyclists to East Windsor. And I did not even mention the majestic riverfront! The downfalls of cycling in an automotive and manufacturing city is self-evident, and this is especially the case living right by its central plant. Being a cyclist living on the right side of the Chryslers Automotive Plant, I have disliked the Tecumseh intersections of Drouillard and Walker for many years. My preference when biking is to ride through Walkerville, and in order to do so, I have to cross the daunting Tecumseh/Walker intersection. Besides that, biking through Walkerville, from downtown to the west end on University Avenue, Sandwich Towne and the Ganacho Trail are some notable examples of excellent bike and multi-use trail planning in the city. In making the comparison between these two cities, there is a great deal of progress that citizens, private stakeholders and municipal governments have made to position the bike as important as the car and mass transit. — WALTER PETRICHYN

LCBO; CODDLE WITHOUT THE BOTTLE If we’re going to be treated like babies in a nanny state, at least give us our bottles. Did you know that at one point in time the LCBO, our humble and benevolent alcohol overlords, distilled their own brands of spirits? During Prohibition, dangerous medicinal alcohol was widely consumed and following the end of those dark days in 1927, the LCBO was founded. A year later in 1928 they created and bottled 65 OP Alcohol, at 48 per cent overproof as a substitute for medicinal alcohol. According to LCBO spokesperson Lisa Murray, the product was widely consumed and helped to reduce the use of medicinal alcohol by 98 per cent. Other LCBO spirits soon included Whisky Blanc and Hamilton Canadian Brandy. The LCBO got so good at distillation that it was asked to bottle products for other suppliers; high quality at a lower price point ensured wide consumption.

If we’re going to be forced to endure a communist-like system of alcohol purchasing in which we have to go to the state-run liquor outlet, then surely it only makes sense that the state resume distilling, bottling and selling its own brands of spirits. Hell, take it one step further and the province should get into the business of brewing its own beer while we’re at it. It’s unlikely that we’ll see the LCBO resume distilling their own spirits and it’s even less likely that if they did the price point would be lower than that of other brands currently offered. The LCBO maintains high pricing both as part of its “social responsibility” and because provincial social programs require funding. And we’re left in a seemingly endless situation where we’ll forever be trapped in a patriarchal society, coddled like infants, pandered to like children, but in reality viewed as an ends to a means; filling the provincial coffers. — JON LIEDTKE

At the height of bottling operations, the LCBO produced over 50 brands totaling close to 4.5 million litres per year. But in 1996, the taps stopped flowing when faced with the need for a substantial investment in upgrading equipment. “LCBO does not currently have plans to resume production of its own brands,” said Murray. Why not?!

Publisher/Editor: Natasha Marar (natasha@urbanitenews.com) Managing Editor: Jon Liedtke (jon@urbanitenews.com) Art Director: Stephen Hargreaves Contributors: Jay Verspeelt, Dan Savage, Loren Mastracci, Walter Petrichyn, Adam D’Andrea, Jenn McMullan, Don Merrifield Jr., Kieran McKenzie, H.G. Watson, Scott Glaysher, Juliana Gomez, Sean Previl

Inquiries and sales: 226-674-0140 Information: info@urbanitenews.com News tips: tips@urbanitenews.com Letters: letters@urbanitenews.com

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NEWS

THE URBANITE » URBANITENEWS.COM » MAY 7 2014 » 3

Cycling back through the years

Windsor Tweed Ride expands as city cycling grows in the city

Over 200 tweed clad cyclists rode in last spring’s Windsor Tweed Ride, and organizers expect that numnber to reach 300 this Saturday » Photo Jolie Inthavong

natasha marar Bicycle enthusiasts will be dusting off their vintage bicycles and pressing their fancy threads for the fourth Windsor Tweed Ride. The city’s biennial bicycle ride of dandies returns May 10. “From its inception we figured it’d be incredibly small and we were surprised by the amount of people that showed up the first time (spring 2012). We expected around 20 people, we got about 70 people,” said organizer Stephen Hargreaves. Each successive ride has grown save for the last one in fall 2013, which saw cold weather and rain. Hargreaves is hoping less rain, high spirits and the support of local businesses will help draw upwards of 300 people at this spring’s ride. But the growing numbers make it a “logistical nightmare” for supporting local businesses along the ride. “Having 299 of your friends in tow is less than simple,” said Hargreaves, who doesn’t want to split up the group. “… I like the idea of everyone being together. It shows to motorists, pedestrians and other cyclists the shear number

of people who like to get out and ride a bicycle for the love it, not the sport of it.” “When you turn it into a psycho-historical tour, people seem to get really excited about it,” said Hargreaves of the event’s theme which encourages people to sport vintage or vintage-inspired bikes and dress. “[The fashion] doesn’t have to be 1922, in the fall, in south London. It’s not specific; its’ about a much broader idea. You can go anything from 1870s to 1930s, as long as it looks somewhat formal … you cannot be too overdressed or too dandy-ish.” Prizes will be given again to the Finest Dressed Lady and Finest Dressed Gent. A new prize for the best bicycle will also be awarded. The grand prize will be a bicycle from City Cyclery. Dressing up for the occasion is the biggest draw for Jamie Lees D’Angelo, who won Finest Dressed Lady for the past two rides. Drawing inspired from the PBS show Downton Abbey, Lees-D’Angelo came together with local fashion designer Lori

Moore to create Tweed Ride outfits for herself and husband Frank D’Angelo. “... there is a growing group of us who are very inspired by the fashion and etiquette of the 1870s to 1920s era,” said LeesD’Angelo, who hopes for a three-peat win at the event.

Willistead Restaurant in Walkerville for food and “1920s jazz and swing and tweedy-like music” by The Gaiety Three. Hargreaves said an objective of the ride is to create awareness for cyclists in a city where tensions between motorists, pedestrians and cyclists can still run high.

Hargreaves said Windsor Tweed Ride “asks more of the participant than most rides.”

“... critical mass rides have occurred over Windsor for many, many years and occur all over the world … If you want to look at Tweed Ride through a political lense, it’s a much more positive way to draw attention to cycling in the city than any critical mass ride has ever been, not to discredit it,” he said.

“We’re asking people to show up and dress a certain way, in a way that usually requires people to go beyond their own closets and going into vintage shops, or new shops, and doing research online to find out what they’re going to wear. I think people really enjoy that; there’s something kind of jovial about being told to dress up.” There will be a new route and different pit stops on the upcoming ride. Route highlights include starting in Walkerville, biking along the waterfront, going up Ouellette Avenue with a stop for food and drink at Rino’s Kitchen and Ale House. The ride continues on Victoria Avenue with a photo op at Jackson Park, a trek down Erie Street and a final stop at the

“We’re a city that was built on the automobile industry and to integrate is important in a city like Windsor. We’re not Copenhagen, we’re not Amsterdam, we’re Windsor. We need to all work together. Maybe this is a less aggressive, more inclusive, more friendly way to do that.” Windsor Tweed Rides takes place May 10 in front of City Cyclery, 553 Lincoln Rd. Registration begins at 10 a.m., and riding starts at noon. Partial proceeds of the $15 tickets go to Bike Friendly Windsor.

THE URBANITE » URBANITENEWS.COM » MAY 7 2014 » 4

With the Liberal government’s announcement of a high speed rail service to run between London and Toronto, what are your opinions of the response by the two prospective Windsor mayoral candidates, Drew Dilkens and Bill Marra?

Kieran McKenzie Kathleen Wynne’s recent High Speed Rail announcem... err vote-buy afforded Windsorites an opportunity to contrast the styles of its two leading (rumoured) mayoral candidates, Councillors Drew Dilkens and Bill Marra. What we saw was one candidate who really understands the communications component of the job he’s (likely) applying for and the other … not so much. Watching this issue unfold locally and in the context of mayoral politics, it’s pretty clear that Dilkens got taken to the woodshed by Marra who came out of the box with a strong message that put our region first.

Rose City Politics:

»high speed rail enters

mayoral fray No question it’s early still and there will be plenty of opportunities for both candidates to further impress the electorate, but if this were a boxing match it would be a clear 10-8 round for Marra.

For those keeping score at home:

Not that Dilkens’ position was so obtuse or even wrong — if the feds and the province ever really do move forward with HSR, the entire Windsor-Quebec City corridor will be the end-game and it will be built in stages. As long as there is no capability to extend passenger rail across the border, the Windsor leg of this investment is not going to be able to compete with respect to ridership compared to the GTA region. With that said, not feeling “slighted” with Windsor not included in the original announcement frankly came off as weak.

Well it looks like we have had our first political battle of the Windsor mayoral election. The province pre-budget proposal of a high speed rail link between London and Toronto received a response from the two undeclared heavyweights in a fight for the mayor’s seat. Drew Dilkens applauded the plan even though it didn’t include Windsor, while Bill Marra showed muted outrage at the Liberal government forgetting that Windsor exists.

Marra came out guns blazing and strong, telling Windsorites that he was “very disappointed” with this announcement and even appeared to compel either a clarification or a reversal when assurances came from Wynne that Windsor is in the HSR plan.

Kieran McKenzie

Political activist/organizer with a passion for social justice issues. A lifelong Windsor-Essex resident, Kieran McKenzie holds an honours BA in political science from the University of Windsor and has been campaigning in both elections and on issues since he could walk.

Marra 1 – Dilkens 0 Don Merrifield Jr.

First round goes to Marra. If you want to be a mayor of Windsor, your first response should always be outrage when Windsor gets slighted for a major infrastructure project (even if it’s a pipe dream that the Liberals have no idea of how to pay for). Dilkens getting on board and supporting the plan with hopes that one day it will include Windsor is probably the least appropriate response one

could make. The new mayor should stand up and fight for Windsor to be included on any proposal that would benefit our area. With ongoing criticism by some that this council and mayor have never seen a gold plated infrastructure project they didn’t want to spend taxpayers money on, the fact that both candidates supported spending billions of taxpayers money without even a mention of whether it is an affordable proper investment and use — especially when the province is running huge deficits with no idea or plan to get them under control — is something that should concern voters more than their individual responses. Round one goes to Bill Marra, with the taxpayers getting a standing eight count. Catch the Rose City Politics crew in every issue of The Urbanite. Have a question? Tweet us @urbanitenews or email info@ urbanitenews.com. You can also listen to Rose City Politics Wednesday’s at 8 p.m. on CJAM 99.1 FM.

Don Merrifield Jr.

Fourteen years as a Windsor realtor, musician, father of one son Miles, politics-run financially conservative yet socially liberal. Merrifield Jr. was a candidate in last municipal election in Ward 3 for city councillor, a cigar aficionado, motorcycle enthusiast and lover of travel.

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THE URBANITE » URBANITENEWS.COM » MAY 7 2014 » 5

20 years of gaming

anti-discrimination poetry slam returns adam d’andrea Transgendered people are confused homosexuals. A bisexual woman is just having a lesbian fling. Dispelling these and other LGBT myths is the objective of Windsor Pride’s annual poetry slam, which has rebranded itself for its fifth year.

Caesars Windsor celebrates 20 years of Vegas-style entertainment » Photo Jon Liedtke

Jon liedtke Two towers, one interim casino and art gallery and a riverboat later, Windsor celebrates 20 years of having a casino in the core. “We’re having a celebration, last year we celebrated five years of being a Caesars property [which] focused more on entertainment, but for the 20th we’re really focusing on Caesars in the community,” said Jhoan Baluyot, manager, public relations and communications for Caesars Windsor. “It goes beyond the entertainment and drawing in tourists, but it’s also about being part of the business community and non-profit organizations. It’s important for us to be part of the fabric of the community … I think it’s important for us to be a responsible corporate citizen,” she added. The business landscape has changed immensely since Windsor opened the first commercial casino in the region 20 years ago. Both Detroit and Ohio built casinos, 9-11 events led to the tightening of the border, there was a province-wide indoor smoking ban and 2008 saw an economic recession. “We face the challenges, but we still continue to be competitive in the market and that’s because of the Caesars brand and the amenities which we offer that some of the Detroit casinos don’t offer … especially our entertainment,” said Baluyot. Windsor West MP Brian Masse explained that he believes that having a major casino in the city has “contributed to getting Windsor on the map in many respects with some of the signature events that take place down with the Caesars brand in particular. There’s no doubt that economically it’s made a significant contribution [to Windsor].” “Under both [Casino Windsor and Caesars Windsor] there’s been a lot of philanthropy … I think that’s critical in terms of having

a good relationship with the city and with the residents here,” added Masse. “They’re a corporate citizen that doesn’t go around bragging about its contributions, they just do it and it’s very appreciated, coming as an elected representative.” One thing that both Baluyot and Masse look forward to is the implementation and passing of Bill C-290 on single sports betting. $26 million has been generated illegally while the Senate has been debating the bill, according to the Canadian Gaming Association. A case study prepared by HLT Advisory for the Canadian Gaming Association cites that Windsor could see an annual net gaming profit of roughly $10.5 million each year. “One of the things that we’re really looking forward to is the legalization of singlesports betting; it’s a wait and see,” said Baluyot. “It gives us a point of differentiation from the states … they don’t offer sports betting. We all know that the Detroit and [the] Michigan area are really big sports fans, we have three major sports teams in the area.” Masse, who will be lobbying the Senate regarding the bill this spring, sees an opportunity to recapture some of the gaming market from the United States that has been lost with the implementation of the bill. “I have had some discussions with a couple senators … they are recognizing that organized crime and this illegal betting is taking place anyways and that there’s no reason for us not to be doing this,” he said. “The U.S. will eventually move towards that market as well, so it’s a matter of us getting the first punch.” Baluyot explained that moving forward Caesar’s was going to stick to the equation that has proved successful: continuing to bring headline entertainment to Windsor and offering world class amenities.

Formerly known as Slam Homophobia, Slam-A-Phobia 2014 will be held at Walkerville Brewery on May 17 to coincide with International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia and Transphobia. Organizer Dan MacDonald renamed the event after discovering some members of the LGBT community felt excluded by the name. “There was some talk in the trans community in Windsor saying it was not inclusive to them,” said MacDonald. “I just thought it needed to be changed right away, and I felt awful that it was not inclusive to bisexual and transgender people. It’s just as much their day.” One person who felt the event should be more inclusive was Lorraine Brown, a local 68-year-old trans woman. Brown said although transgender people were allowed to attend, many perceived they weren’t viewed as integral. “I started a dialogue with Dan and explained to him that although his idea and his intention were for it to be inclusive that externally, and particularly members of the trans community, we were viewing it as being exclusive,” said Brown. Although they’re often grouped with homophobia, biphobia and transphobia can be separate prejudices with different causes and characteristics. Transphobia can stem from a lack of information about transgender issues, said Brown. She referenced that many people are unable to disassociate sexual orientation from gender identity, adding there are transgender people who identify as homosexual, bisexual and heterosexual. “Transgender is about gender identity, it’s your innate sense of self. It’s got nothing to do with who you like, who you’re attracted to,” said Brown. “In fact, the sexual orientation of the transgender population is about the same as the general population.” Brown said transphobia can also be a negative reaction to people challenging the fundamental definitions of “gender.” “In challenging that, we kind of make other people have to look at it as well, and

people don’t like to question their inner selves,” said Brown. “People don’t like to question their gender or their sexual orientation because they’re afraid of what they might find.” In a 2009-2010 Trans PULSE survey of 433 transgender Ontarians aged 16 or older, 73 per cent said they had been made fun of, 39 per cent said they had been turned down for a job for being trans and 26 per cent had been physically assaulted. As with transphobia, biphobia can be a very different problem than homophobia. MacDonald said bisexual people are often dismissed as either going through a “phase” or too scared to identify as homosexual. “It’s either a straight girl who wants to be cool who’ll go back and marry a guy after she has her little lesbian fling, or it’s a guy who’s too afraid to say that he’s gay so he says he’s bisexual,” said MacDonald. “But the truth is that bisexuals exist and there’s plenty of real bisexual people who are attracted to both.” According to a 2011 fact sheet from Rainbow Health Ontario, obtaining statistics on bisexuals can be difficult as they’re frequently grouped with homosexuals or heterosexuals. RHO also cites U.S. studies that have suggested bisexuals can have higher rates of “childhood sexual abuse, childhood physical abuse and violent victimization” than homosexuals. Surprisingly, these groups occasionally face not only discrimination from heterosexuals but intolerance from within the LGBT community, according to MacDonald and Brown. “Being a member of the LGBT community does not automatically remove all of your own discriminations, your own prejudices, your own phobias,” said Brown. MacDonald said communication is essential in removing friction between members of the LGBT community, but usually everyone is very supportive of each other. “There’s little things that we don’t always understand about each other and that’s where the dialogue is very important,” said MacDonald. People of all orientations are encouraged to attend or sign up to read a piece at Slam-APhobia. The free event begins at 7:30 p.m., and donations will be accepted toward the Windsor Pride Centre.

Office spaces

Urban workspaces that leave the cubicle behind

The modernist offices of Hawkins & Co. Accounting (above) and Spotvin (below) » Photos Natasha Marar and 4p-media natasha marar

Spotvin Advertising and graphic design agencies are creative hubs on the cusp of the latest trends. It’s no surprise that Spotvin, located on the second floor of 548 Chilver Rd., takes a minimalist, contemporary approach to its decor. The six-person, five-year-old boutique firm recently moved into the former Artspace Gallery as part of a growth and rebranding effort. The open-concept workspace features soaring white walls above beech hardwood floors, low-key Ikea desks and young, creative minds. Tell me about the move to this new office. Shane Potvin: We were at The House for four years … When we decided to move to Walkerville we talked about rebranding and creating an image for ourselves specifically. It seemed like the perfect time; when you move into a space you have to think of painting colours. In the old space we had lots of blacks and red. Essentially this space is a canvas, it’s exciting. Marcello Fontana: As artists and business owners, you modify and keep turning the mirror on yourself and recognizing you need to make adjustments.

What drew you to the Walkerville neighbourhood and this unit specifically? Marcello Fontana: Artists tend to absorb their environment … and there’s only one place [we] want to be and that’s Walkerville. Just even the restaurants, coffee shops and all the entrepreneurs in Walkerville have the same philosophy: they want to introduce something different to Windsor, that’s unique. Shane Potvin: We don’t have a big city when it comes to like-minded businesses, You have them all peppered throughout the city and you lose any sort of neighbourhood sense to it. We tried it … it’s a really tough crowd downtown when it comes to building that sense of community because a) there’s so much empty space and b) there’s so much bars, restaurants and apartment buildings. … here it’s probably one of the only areas of the city where you’re starting to see a collection of these types of (creative) businesses. How would you describe the decor? Shane Potvin: Very minimalistic … it’s a bit too minimalistic for my tastes right now, but it’s a good space for us to build on. We don’t want to do too much to it.

Marcello Fontana: We wanted a very clean, open space; easy to communicate, easy to work together. We’re not office cubicles, too individual.

to walk [to] instead of getting in the car everything we want [is near] to go somewhere. Having Carrots n’ Dates and Salute downstairs is fantastic.

Hawkins & Co. Accounting

Why did you choose to decorate in the particular style you did, and how would you describe it?

One of Windsor’s newest accounting firms is anything but traditional. Hawkins & Co. Accounting, located above Blackburn Radio at 2090 Wyandotte Street E., has been transformed from an empty 2,000 squarefoot shell into a modern, functional space by local architect Stephen Marshall. Using local suppliers, partner Allison Hawkins furnished the office to stand out from the typical accounting firm, which she describes as “some version of beige and dark brown.” Not missing a beat, Hawkins worked with local suppliers to outfit the seven offices, open working space, conference room, kitchen and reception area with deep cyan blue and white furnishings.

Allison Hawkins: We definitely wanted non-traditional. If you go into most of the accounting firms in town they’re some version of beige and dark wood, that’s kind of the standard. I’m really sensitive to light … so the whole premise of it was how much light can we get into the space. … we wanted our clients to be comfortable in the space; we didn’t want it to feel intimidating or too serious. Let’s face it, you’re coming to your accountant to talk about your taxes or finances and some people find that fairly intimidating. We wanted to take that out of the equation.

What made you decide to move into the space?

As a highlight colour, why the choice of blue?

Allison Hawkins: We opened the office in January. We really loved the neighbourhood; that was one of the draws for us. We live in Riverside, so we didn’t want to be in an industrial park, we wanted a neighbourhood.There’s a number of restaurants to be able to take clients to lunch and to be able

Allison Hawkins: Obviously, red in business is an aggressive colour so maybe not the best choice for an accountant’s office. Blue is supposed to be trust, which is why we chose blue. The traditional would be go to with navy blue so we pushed it brighter and I think it really makes the space.

FOOD& DRINK

THE URBANITE » URBANITENEWS.COM » MAY 7 2014 » 7

Take a walk on the wild sides Five totally cool urban apps

Tandoori Scotch Egg Where: Jack’s Gastropub

This is the perfect appetizer for the traditionalist who likes a modern twist. Jack’s takes the common English dish, the scotch egg, and makes it its own by infusing it with the Indian flavour tandoori. The dish is a hard boiled egg wrapped in tandoori spiced ground lamb, dusted in breadcrumbs, flash fried and baked. Served with pickled vegetables, sweet beets and their lager-mustard dipping sauce. Price: $8

Jenn McMullan It’s not often you’ll be told not to think twice about what you put in your mouth. Mothers, Grade 1 teachers and dentists can attest to that. Every rule has an exception, and when it comes to trying new foods stepping out of your comfort zone is always good advice. Instead of ordering the usual go-to appetizers of nachos, mozzarella sticks or deep fried pickles, try these more adventurous options around Windsor.

Manhattan Duck Sliders Where: Honey Badger Bistro

Inspired by the Manhattan cocktail, this mouth watering slider consists of pulled duck confit reduced with bourbon and soaked in a demiglaze, then topped with a vermouth cherry reduction sauce. The salty taste of the duck is balanced perfectly with the sweet cherry mash in two bite-sized sliders. Price: $11

Grilled Spanish Octopus Where: The Willistead

This is a more daring choice that’s great for any seafood lover looking to try something new. The Spanish Octopus is poached for one to two hours, marinated overnight and then grilled until it’s crunchy on the outside and tender on the inside. Served with olive tapenade and vincotto dressing. Price: $16

Baked Escargot with Brie Where: Neros Steakhouse

This is a delicacy that intimidates a lot of people, but it’s worth putting mind over matter for an appetizer that slides right down. The escargot is baked with honey mushrooms, herb Beurre blanc, brie cheese and toasted baguettes. Price: $14

Mac N’ Cheese Spring Rolls Where: The Bull N Barrel

This is perfect for the young graduate who wants to make their palate a little bit more refined without diverging too much from their usual eating habits. The Bull N Barrel offers up cheesy mac n’ cheese and jalapenos stuffed into a crispy golden-fried spring roll served with a sweet thai chili sauce. Price: $8.99

THE URBANITE » URBANITENEWS.COM » MAY 7 2014 » 8

Fresh Milk

Milk Coffee Bar ﬂowing after 15 years

Head chef John Alvarez preps for Sushi Guru’s opening » Photos Jon Liedtke

east meets west in walkerville Sushi Guru rolls into town Jon liedtke Driving down Wyandotte Street, you cannot help but notice that Walkerville is on a roll these days: craft breweries, new retail and other businesses are opening their doors or have moved to new locations. Not only is Walkerville on a roll, but so is salmon, tuna and unagi at Sushi Guru, the neighbourhood’s latest restaurant to set up shop. Located in the former The Olde Town Sweet Shop, across the street from The Gourmet Emporium, sits Sushi Guru. The restaurant sports rich, dark wood, deep red walls, Edison lightbulbs and a custom mural on the backwall. “Sushi Guru is something that’s been in my mind for the past three years. I’ve lived in Olde Walkerville for the past 23 years now,” said Geoffrey McKay, owner of Sushi Guru. “I love the neighbourhood, I love what’s going on in the area, I love everything about it.” McKay’s nephew Taylor McKay doubles as his business partner and both men are excited to bring sushi to Walkerville. Taylor recently spent time in Japan experiencing the best “sushi [and sake] in the world” and he explained that he did “a little bit of recon” while overseas. “What I learned over there was that [the Japanese are] very simplistic in terms of their sushi: simplicity, freshness of the fish [and] quality of the product,” said Taylor. Sushi Guru will only feature the freshest fish from overseas paired with local produce. “We’re all about being local and supporting the community and this neighbourhood,” said Geoffrey. “This is a very important neighbourhood to me. I want to support it, see it grow and still [see it] get better.”

John Alvarez is the head chef at Sushi Guru and a graduate of Cordon Bleu in Orlando, Fl. His work experience stems from a stint at a fine dining Hawaiian restaurant with French technique in Orlando, Wolfgang Puck’s Steakhouse Restaurant in Vegas at the Palazzo and as the past chef at The Gourmet Emporium. “My goal here at Sushi Guru is to just pay homage to the fish,” said Alvarez. “I feel that a lot of sushi places are covering up with sweet sauces or making things too crunchy with a lot of filler. Here my mantra is less rice, more filling, filling being protein … rather than a sliver of tuna and a lot of cucumber and rice.” While the restaurant won’t follow Japanese tradition to the minutia of detail, Alvarez emphatically made clear that he would be “taking care of the fish and treating it like gold, because [preparing] the fish is taking a life ... cutting it properly, handling it properly … attention to detail.” Alvarez explained that at all times he honours the fish. “It does cost a lot of money and it’s travelled halfway across the world to get to my doorstep to be in the best condition it can be, so it’s my job to not mess up that whole chain of command from fishing to packing, to shipping to my doorstep.” While diving headfirst into sushi might be daunting for the uninitiated, Alvarez want’s to ensure that the restaurant and menu are accessible to both those with an appetite for sushi and those looking to develop an appetite. “I’m not one to try to force it down anybody’s throat, but if they have questions I have an answer. I want to educate people about technique and what I’m doing,” he said.

Milk Coffee Bar owner Angelo Marignani espressos himself

» Photo Jay Verspeelt

JaY VersPeelt It’s no easy feat being a business owner, and the saying goes that many fail in their first year.

beers you’d probably never find anywhere else and the people, when you walk in, are always very pleasant,” said Baylis.

In an already small downtown, an equally small cafe called Milk Coffee Bar opened in 1999 to the sound of the Beastie Boys’ Paul’s Boutique. The bar celebrated its 15year anniversary on May 3.

When milk opened there were fewer cafes in the core. Coffee Exchange existed in a former location, and the only other two were the Eclectic and the Upper Cup, neither of which lasted long, according to Marignani.

Milk started not long after owner Angelo Marignani returned from living in Tokyo. Inspired by what he referred to as “live houses” and “shot bars,” Marignani sought to bring back a similar idea. “When I came back to Windsor there was no live music,” said Marignani. “There was an opportunity to bring in the live music performance venue back to the city and bring it with a little Asian flare. [I] threw some coffee in there, threw some hard-tofind liqueurs and Milk was born.” The name was to be XXX but a quick search on the budding Internet returned numerous websites filled with pornography. Instead, he opted to name the establishment Milk after the bar in Clockwork Orange. There is also a Milk bar in Tokyo, according to Marignani. “Let’s focus on Milk as a nurturing idea. Our mission statement I decided would be ‘nurture your creative spirit.’ Milk is just a natural fit. It’s the first drink you’ve ever had and probably the best,” said Marignani. Although no one ever orders milk at Milk. Tenisha Baylis is a regular who’s been attending the cafe since she high school. She didn’t like the idea of sitting in Starbucks and was turned on to the establishment by a friend. “It’s dirty grungy style [makes Milk different]. It’s a really underground type of bar. If this was a smoking place, everybody would be smoking. You can find certain

Now there are five successful competing cafes downtown. Marignani said he’s happy the other businesses exist and expressed that Starbucks “validated” the corner of Oullette and University avenues. “It legitimized the area, but I mean if you want real coffee you can come here. If you want a sugar laden drink that has the nuance of coffee in it, go there. The choice is yours. You want to be healthy here? Or do you want to drink dirty water?” said Marignani. Even before the cafe culture grew in the area, that corner according to Marignani was the busiest. He sat in several locations around the city with a clicker counting the amount of people that would walk by. He set up shop on University Avenue near Pelissier because it was the most trafficked. All those feet are welcome in the establishment, from vagrant homeless to the aﬄuent business types, even those with outside food. “We’re accepting of all … everyone is welcome here no matter who you are,” said Marignani. There will be updates to the space coming in May with new coat of paint, lighting and more wall sockets for those with laptops and electronic devices in need of charging. After over 100 Milk employees, countless art shows and musical and spoken-word performances, the milk hasn’t spoiled.

THE URBANITE » URBANITENEWS.COM » MAY 7 2014 » 9

haute dog!

Meat the gourmet sausage man

Ask a brewer... the colour of love beer with Walkerville Brewery’s brewmaster Paul Brady

sean PreVil

Q: What determines the colour of beer?

As you get to the red then you get more caramel toffee for sure.

Paul Brady: Beer predominantly takes its colour from the malted barley that is used to make it. The colour spectrum ranges from yellow to black and that all has to do with how the malted barley is kilned.

Once you’ve got the caramel and toffee going you start getting into roasted coffee and as it gets darker from there you can get a nutty-ness, an earthy leathery-ness, all the way into coffee flavours, chocolate flavours and even just a burnt roast flavour too.

Essentially what happens is grain comes from the field, it’s harvested, cleaned so it’s just the grain, and then it goes to a person called a maltster [who] germinates it, gets the grains wet and actually starts to grow it. It starts to sprout slightly and the reason they do that is to crack the endosperm, just to get the enzymes we need going in the grain. But then they kiln it, they cook it, [and] dry it to a certain percentage of moisture. If they cook it for a short period of time, just dry enough to kill the little endosperm or the little sprout, it still has a golden yellow colour … if they kiln it a little bit longer it starts to get a slightly orange hue to it, a little bit longer [and] it gets a little more red [and copper hue], then reddish-brown, then brown to brownish-black and beyond that black to black as my soul. The thing about that though is each segment of colouration or each level of kilning creates different flavour profiles in the malt. There’s different types of the malt, but the majority of them, their characteristic is defined by their colour. Yellow malt is like a pilsner malt ... the lighter orange yellows are called Carapills or CaraMunich, a CaraRed or a red malt … and beyond that we start getting into, we call them chocolate or brown malts, and they impart different flavours as well. As you start to get a little more colour you start to get a little more sweet, sometimes a little caramel, a little toffee as we get a little bit more into the roasted ones.

Rob Bornais loves when his sausages make people happy » Photo Sean Previl

Q: But aren’t all these ﬂavours subjective? It’s all subjective ... I personally prefer the sweet malts, so Ill pick those notes up more — the roasted and the dark and bitter coffee flavours. I’m not much of a coffee drinker in general, so I try to ignore them or get away from them, but they’re there and I know they’re there and I can accept them. It is subjective: it all depends on what your palate picks up because everyone is different. There are people who add those flavours, add coffees, nuts, to their beer. The larger beer companies won’t, some of the craft guys will ... we’re kind of weird like that sometime.

Q: Can you as a brewer choose a colour of beer? You can impart any colour you want to any style you want. Essentially, we have this giant pallet, the malt is our colour wheel and we get to paint with it as we please. There are ways to do colour and not impart flavour, but I think some of them are cheating. When you use malt to impart colour you often bring the flavour with it, you can use subtle amounts to get just enough colour. You can do almost anything with beer if you do it right.

It all started with a chorizo. Rob “Robbie” Bornais’ interest in making sausages began after tasting the pork sausage during a trip to the Caribbean 10 years ago. “I came back and couldn’t find it anywhere here and so I said, ‘Maybe I’ll make it,’” said Bornais. After trying and making what he called the worst sausage he’s ever tasted, he decided to start learning more about making the meat treats. He learned to master traditional types of sausages before starting to make his own creations, and the chorizo that started it all. Eventually, after finally coming up with a recipe he liked, he decided to enter it into four categories of The Great Canadian Sausage Making Competition in 2012. He won all four categories and shortly after started Robbie’s - An Original Gourmet Sausage Co., which he operates out of Primo’s Delicatessen on Benjamin Avenue. After being introduced to Primo’s owner Brad March by a mutual friend, March offered Bornais the space to make his sausages on days when the store is closed. Bornais said he’s thankful for the support March has given him. “He just offered up space for me to work out of,” said Bornais. “He’s made it very easy for me to be there.” Bornais said starting the company gives him an outlet to do what he loves and use his creativity. “I’m just looking at it (sausages) as a blank canvas,” said Bornais. “I can put my spin on something that hasn’t been tried.”

Over the past 10 years, Bornais said he’s come up with multiple ideas for sausages and is slowly releasing them to the public through his business. When putting together the sausages, Bornais said he does as much research as he can, consults past recipes by other sausage makers and tries out different ingredients before he makes the product. He gives samples to his “test kitchen” — people whose palates he trusts — to get feedback before he makes a final version. Bornais creates his sausages using a formula of a certain amount of dry spices, fresh ingredients and liquid, which can be anything from water to beer or apple cider. “The respect I have for the ingredients hopefully speaks to the respect I have for my customers,” said Bornais. Bornais said his passion for making sausages prompted him to write a book on how to make gourmet sausages at home called Robbie’s Original Fresh Gourmet Sausages. After people try his product, Bornais asks them if it made them happy and said if they say, “Yes,” he defines that as success. “I love when food makes people happy.” According to Bornais, help and support has not been hard to find. Bornais has received mentorship from March, Rino Bortolin of Rino’s Kitchen & Ale House, Chris Ryan at Walkerville Brewery and Mike Venturini and Nadine Bergeron, who have assisted him in selling sausages at local farmers’ markets. Bornais, in partnership with Rino’s Kitchen & Ale House, will be giving Windsorites the opportunity to learn the sausage making process May 24 at 1 p.m. at the restaurant.

ARTS

THE URBANITE » URBANITENEWS.COM » MAY 7 2014 » 10

Kenny vs. Spenny vs. Chatham “Canadian taxpayers also paid for the acid that I slipped Spenny. I would put in a receipt that said ‘acid for Spenny’ … I went in for eight or nine hundred bucks and I got my cash back.” -Kenny Hotz Canada’s worst role models, Kenny Hotz and Spenny Rice, come to Chatham May 8 » Photo courtesy Trixstar Productions jon liedtke After six seasons, 86 episodes, endless competitions and hilarious - yet often disgusting humiliations - Kenny and Spenny have reunited to bring their living room antics to cities across the country after being off the air for nearly four years. The Kenny vs. Spenny vs. Canada tour spans 13 cities coast to coast and in an exclusive to The Urbanite, Kenny Hotz took some time to speak about the event, the television show and his colleague, Spencer Rice. The hour and a half performance includes clips from the Kenny vs. Spenny that haven’t been aired, behind the scenes footage, a question and answer session and a talk about how the show was made. “Every show is different,” said Hotz. “Basically I try to just get Spenny as wasted as possible and then we shit on each other and try to get the audience to love us.”

“We’re not actors so we’re not doing stupid sketches or comedy bits or anything like that, we go out and we pour our heart out and you basically get to spend a night with us. It’s just like sitting in our living room during Kenny vs. Spenny, it’s the exact same thing.” Hotz famously hired an airplane to fly over Toronto with the banner “Jesus Sucks” during a competition, but was not concerned about repercussions for his various actions because he sees himself as an artist first and foremost. “I’m an art history major and the greatest artists are the ones who just kind of fuck around and do shit. People used to scream at Elvis for wiggling his hips and now Miley Cyrus is sticking a banana up her ass at concerts,” reasoned Hotz. “It’s time and genre, it doesn’t make a fucking difference.”

One episode of the show sees Hotz and Rice compete to see who can smoke the most weed and Hotz explained that Canadian taxpayers fronted the bill for the drugs in both that episode and another. “Canadian taxpayers [paid for the marijuana],” said Hotz. “Canadian taxpayers also paid for the acid that I slipped Spenny. I would put in a receipt that said ‘acid for Spenny’ and it was a legitimate expense that used in the production for the series, and that was it ... I went in for eight or nine hundred bucks [for marijuana] and I got my cash back.” Crossing the line — and often recrossing it after redrawing it several kilometres down the road - is something that Hotz simply enjoys doing. “I love being the guy that broke rules and did shit and saying ... ‘I did that, that was me, we smoked weed, I’m the guy that

slipped his friend acid for the first time, fuck you I did it.” The tour is recommended for those with mature comedic tastes and Hotz made it clear that his fans would enjoy the performance. “There’s stuff you haven’t seen and it’s a shit show. We’re idiots, half the time we don’t know what we’re doing but people laugh way more than like at Sarah Silverman or Louis CK. There’s footage of people pissing their pants.” “It’s totally real and absurd and I don’t think there’s anything else like it out there.” Kenny vs. Spenny vs. Canada takes place at St. Clair College Capitol Theatre in Chatham Thursday, May 8 at 8 p.m. For more information, visit kennyvsspennytour.ca.

albums

III1/2

of 5

lily Allen sheezus parlophone

After going through what seemed like an awful heartbreak when I was 16, my sister soothed me with two things: the book, He’s Not That Into You, and Lily Allen’s album, Alright, Still. Flash forward eight years, and along with the realization that my breakup wasn’t as bad as they can get, Lily Allen is back with a new album — Sheezus.

Tom Hiddleston and Tilda Swinton star in the Detroit-based vampire film Only Lovers Left Alive » Photos courtesy Recorded Picture Company

Undead in Detroit

Much anticipated vampire film opens h.g. watson Some might consider it ironic that a movie about creation is centred on a pair of dead characters, but when you enter the world of eccentric director Jim Jaramusch, anything goes.

city.” But Eve sees the potential in Detroit. “It will bloom again – there’s water here.” The city, like the vampires themselves, represents the cycle of creation and destruction that is fundamental to artistic practice.

Only Lovers Left Alive is about vampires Eve (Tilda Swinton) and Adam (Tom Hiddleston), a pair of trans-Atlantic lovers who have spent hundreds of years creating and absorbing art. Eve lives in Tangiers, where she spends her time reading and drinking pure blood with Christopher Marlowe (John Hurt) – who, yes, is also a vampire and has spent his time writing plays under various pen names.

The film doesn’t focus on Detroit’s ruins, however. With the arrival of Eve’s sister Ava (Mia Wasikowska), the lovers are pulled into the younger vampire’s destructive and impulsive life as she drags them out to nightclubs and bars – a huge disruption in their lives. If Adam and Eve are the careful creators and curators of art, then Ava represents every artist who can’t say no to the last drink or pill.

Adam is a famous, yet reclusive musician who has set up shop in Detroit. He writes music and tinkers with various rare guitars acquired for him by human Ian (Anton Yelchin), but he’s become disillusioned with existence and plans on taking his own life, leading Eve to make the trip to Michigan to pull her lover out of a funk.

Only Lovers Left Alive is a delicately shot film, in every way. Both Hiddleston and Swinton are ethereal and pale. Light – the bane of vampires – is a constant threat in every shot, whether it’s the far off lights of skyscrapers or red and yellow candlelight emanating from a Moroccan coffee shop.

The plot, insomuch as a Jaramusch film can have a plot, is about the pair trying to find beauty. Drinking blood, though important, isn’t the driving force for these vampires – it’s art. They want to see more of it in the world. Detroit works well as the setting for a majority of the film. As the pair spend nights aimlessly driving against a backdrop of abandoned buildings, Adam intones, “It’s a dead

It’s easy to imagine that this movie represents Jaramusch’s own artistic process, from the frustrations to the motivations. If that is the case, he should be proud that what he has wrought is something beautiful, interesting and unique. Only Lovers Left Alive plays at Landmark Main Art Theatre in Royal Oak, Mich.

Given my history with Allen and the buzz surrounding the music video for “Hard Out Here,” I was excited to dig into an album full of social commentary, specifically regarding the way society treats women. While many critics commended Allen on her feminist lyrics, there were some who were not impressed with the music video depicting a fully clothed Allen surrounded by hyper-sexualized, mostly non-white back up dancers. I found similar contradictions in her album that truthfully, were disappointing.

III1/2

of 5

Future Honest epic

What do you get when you mix T-Pain’s auto tune with James Earl Jones’ vocal range and Juicy J’s swagger? What about when you mix the chart topping potential of The Beatles and the song writing of Bob Dylan? No guesses? Well, that’s probably because you haven’t heard of hip-hop’s newest hit maker, Future. Future has dominated the hip-hop scene in his native Atlanta and has had his hand in practically every hip-hop hit since 2012. Future’s popularity can be attributed to his versatility on the mic, his singing abilities and his ear for melodies that provide the perfect chorus or hook for any hip-hop hit.

As one of the busiest men in rap music these past years, Future has provided more guest verses and choruses than anyone in recent memory in addition to releasing his second studio album, Honest.

Without a doubt, “Hard Out Here” and “Sheezus” are the strongest tracks on the album. Musically they are catchy and lyrically, they offer a social critique of the way women are portrayed in the media. This is the Allen that I like and was expecting the whole way through.

The album features rap heavyweights Andre 3000, Kanye West, Drake, Lil Wayne and Pharrell, among others. These rappers give quality verses and bring crossover fans to the Future fan club making it hard for this album to be considered a miss.

However, the rest of the album stays safe and maintains Allen’s sugary, pop style, save “As Long as I Got You,” which has an ill-fitting hokey feel to it.

Honest shows how Future has improved as an artist. Through the entire 18-song LP, Future sounds more confident with both his rapping and his singing which makes the project more concise.

Instead of sassy and witty social commentary, the album feels like it’s just grabbing at whatever it can to make money, as mentioned in “Insincerely Yours.” Although the album won’t completely change the conversation regarding the role of women in media and society, it’ll still be good to throw on when you want to dance alone in your room or prepare for a night on the town — in that case, I highly recommend the track “Our Time.” — Juliana Gomez (the cord community edition)

Strangely enough, Future seems to have strayed from his usual formula of chorus-verse-chorus which in turn creates a more listenable project. His bangers are restructured, his ballads are unconventional and yet hip-hop’s newest hit maker seems more comfortable than ever. — Scott Glaysher (the cord community edition)

THE URBANITE » URBANITENEWS.COM » MAY 7 2014 » 12

Designing the future

Chris Elkjar sets up shop on Pelissier Street

Chris Elkjar with cohort Dan Bombardier in their new design space Five Ten Design Design Factory and Print Shop » Photos Jay Verspeelt JAY VERSPEELT Those in the know are aware of Windsorites Dan Bombardier and Chris Elkjar. One is a successful street artist, the other an international musician. The two have been friends for the past five years and both are partnering to bring to life Five Ten Design Factory and Print Shop. The name is a combination of Bombardier’s wish of being taller, the number of fingers on a pair of hands and the address of the operation: 510 Pelissier St. “I use a lot of different technology to make my art,” said Bombardier. “A lot of the time these machines are just sitting there. So is this store front. Basically these windows are shut.” The machines were the whole idea to reopen. Normally Bombardier uses one or two every day but not for more than 20 minutes. Three months ago the black drapes

came down on the front windows. The shop wasn’t closed, on the contrary he was busier than usual. But to get any work done the public had to be locked out. After the sea of work parted, Bombardier thought about reopening Printhouse, a former print shop he ran out of the same space. Elkjar had been working out of his home and throwing work to Bombardier from time-to-time. The two came together and Bombardier likened the arrangement to having two fishing rods in a pond. Two and a half weeks ago, they tore out the apartment in the back of the building and built a front wall to separate the studio. “I’m going to work in the front obviously [and] run my web side of things out of here,” said Elkjar. “We’ll split whatever it takes just to do the actual printing because everything will be done in

house. If I need to hop back and run a machine or another job that’s fine.” The shop is offering a diverse range of services from printing to screening, laser cutting and more with rates competitive with national chains. “The ideal customer is going to come in looking [to] take care of everything. ‘We want a website, we want a brand, we want a marketing idea, we want social media, we want you to do everything.’ That is what the shop is suited for more than anything else in town. There is no one-stop shop for that varied of services. I hope,” said Elkjar. Five Ten Design Factory and Print Shop is now open at 510 Pelissier St. weekdays from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

www.endless-heights.com 2141 University Ave W. 519.946.0570

II I I

KENNY VS SPENNY

vs. CANADA

Thursday May 8, 8:00pm St. Clair College Capitol Theatre, Chatham ON

On set of horror flick The Scarehouse » Photo courtesy Gavin Michael Booth

Scare ﬂick goes global

VIP Meet & Greets also available!

Gavin Booth film shops at Cannes natasha marar A Windsor-made horror film described by its director as “Mean Girls meets goth” is being shopped to international distributors in Cannes, France this month. Toronto distributor Double Dutch has acquired the international rights to The Scarehouse, and will pitch the film to distributors at The Marché du Film, an industry event that takes place May 14-23 in conjunction with the Festival de Cannes. “Some major festivals also have a market section, the industry side of the festival. [The Scarehouse] will be represented there and screened for industry members. … what they’re screening is an unfinished (80 per cent complete) version of the film,” explained writer-director Gavin Michael Booth. The Amherstburg native who’s been living in Toronto for the past year said The Scarehouse is more of a dark revenge film than a campy or spoof-inspired horror movie. “It’s a horror film about two former sorority sisters who were wronged by other members of the sorority. Now that they’re free, they have this ultimate revenge plan which all centres around a Halloween haunted house they’ve built. Their unknowing former sisters who are coming for the night … have no idea what awaits them.” The Scarehouse stars the director’s wife and lead actress Sarah Booth, who is joined onscreen by Kimberly Sue-Murray, Katherine Barrell, Dani Baker star, Emily Alatalo and Teagan Vincze. It is produced by Mike Carriere, a partner in Booth’s Windsor-based A Named Viking Entertainment. Booth’s friend Shawn Lippert runs The Scarehouse, an annual haunted house located downtown Windsor in an empty building around Halloween. He provided the space for shooting the film’s funhouse scenes.

“We literally treated it like a small film studio … we [rarely] left that building,” said Booth, adding that some scenes were shot at Venue Music Hall downtown and in a house in Tecumseh. Booth conceived the film’s plot years ago while touring the haunted house. He pitched the movie to Canadian distributor D Films last May without a full script. They greenlighted the project and production started last September. “It’s a blessing … normally films can take years and years to develop,” said Booth. Editing is done on the film with just sound design and effects left to complete. Booth couldn’t confirmed a release date but did say that Universal in the U.S. and D Films in Canada are releasing the film around October. “We’re now trying to co-ordinate a global release with all other countries for the same time period,” he said. “We may have a world premiere elsewhere (than Windsor), we’re working on something pretty juicy right now. But one of the first screenings ever will be in Windsor,” he said. Having delved now into the horror movie world, Booth said there is a “pretty rabid fanbase” for horror films and he expects to make more in the future. “I think the trick in any genre is to have something people haven’t seen before … you have to have a story and script people are going to gravitate towards,” he said. Booth hopes to shop the film to festivals including Fantasia International Film Festival in Montreal this summer. The film will also be released digitally online and on physical media.

KennyVsSpennyTour.ca CANADIAN R ESIDENCY.U S

SAVAGE lOVE

THE URBANITE » URBANITENEWS.COM » MAY 7 2014 » 14

» Boundary disputes Q:

I’m a 26-year-old lesbian 18 months out of an eight-year relationship. She was my first girlfriend. I do not want to be in another monogamous relationship. I want to have a couple of sex buddies or, preferably, a couple of friends with benefits. In the last 18 months, I have had three FWB “arrangements” with different girls. The problem is, about two or three months in, each girl developed serious like/love feelings and began talking about a future together and how they want to be with me exclusively. Each time, I had to reiterate my feelings about not getting into a relationship and wound up feeling like an asshole. I care about these women and don’t want to hurt their feelings, but I told them the situation from the start. Am I a bad person? Or are FWB impossible? Fears Wilting Boundaries

Friends-with-benefits arrangements may not be committed relationships, but they are relationships. They’re ongoing sexual relationships, and—you might want to sit down for this—people have been known to develop like/love feelings for folks they’re fucking on a regular basis. So if “getting into a relationship” is something you want to avoid, and you don’t want anyone developing feelings, you should have one-night stands and/or NSA sex instead. (Those are also relationships, in my opinion, but they’re extremely short-term ones, and people rarely develop serious like/love feelings in a single sex session.) On to your questions: You are not a bad person. FWB are not

impossible—there are a lot of successful FWB arrangements— and a desire for exclusivity or a future together is not proof someone entered into a FWB arrangement under false pretenses. And reiterating your disinterest in a committed relationship isn’t assholery.

The sitch: Tend bar with a hot girl who has a boyfriend. Hit on her anyway because I’m that guy. She says I can fuck her but only if her boyfriend gets to watch and eat her out after. I don’t want anything to do with that scene. I was down for some traditional cheating, not this kinky shit. But I’d still like to fuck this girl. Any advice for me? Blue-Balled Baller

A: Q:

Nope.

I’m a 28-year-old straight female. I’ve only ever been able to orgasm if I self-induce while alone or if I’m on top during sex with a guy and my clit is being rubbed on the guy’s abdomen. (This works best with bigger guys.) When there is no abdomen rubbing my clit, I fake it. I can squeeze so it feels as if I’m coming, but I’m not. Do you have any suggestions? Wants Real Orgasms

You’re having real orgasms, WRO. When your clit is fully engaged—using your hands or toys when alone, rubbing against the abdomen of a big guy during intercourse—you get off. Some women’s clits are fully engaged

during intercourse without any extra effort (they can come “just” from fucking), but they’re in the minority. If climaxing during intercourse is important to you, WRO, you’ll have to sleep with big guys exclusively, rub your own clit during sex, or instruct skinny dudes to rub your clit for you.

I am in a heterosexual relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. We were long-distance for the first year and a half. When we were long-distance, he complained that it was hard to have a relationship over the phone. Now that we are in the same city, he says he feels like our relationship has gone “stale” and he feels “trapped.” I’m sick of his complaining. Does he want to be with me or not? What is he really trying to say? Confusing Lad Is Nagging Girl

A: Q:

“I’m intolerable and you should break up with me.”

My question concerns my fiancé. He is 35 years old. Between the ages of 20 and 30, he was in and out of jail. He has admitted to me that while in prison, he had sex with a [trans woman]. I know he loves having sex with [cis] women, but I found out that he watches [a porn genre that features trans women who have penises]. He says he is just looking, but I know he masturbates to this [porn genre]. To be fair, he watches tons of porn featuring [cis] women. A lot. He loves watching [cis] women and having sex with [cis] women. My

worry is that he wants to have sex with [trans women]. Is this a legitimate worry? He doesn’t watch gay porn. I just want to make sure of everything if we are going to be married. Fiancé Lusts After [Trans Women] Hottie

You would be foolish to waste your time wondering whether your fiancé wants to have sex with trans women, FLATWH, as it’s clear that your fiancé wants to have sex with trans women. The question you should concern yourself with is this: Can your fiancé be trusted to honor the monogamous commitment he’s (presumably) about to make to you, or is he going to cheat on you with other trans and/or cis women? If you trust that he’ll honor the commitment he makes to you, then his taste in porn and his fantasies about other partners—trans or not—is irrelevant.

I’m a married straight man. My wife and I have been married for five years. I thought my wife was GGG and open to new things, so six months ago I brought up my desire to wear lingerie—she did not react well. We struggled a bit but gradually got back to normal, with me just not mentioning it again. My birthday is in May, so I proposed a weekend of indulgence of my fetish as a birthday present. I thought that would be easy enough to accommodate. I was wrong and got totally and uncomfortably denied. I’m at a loss for what to do. I don’t want to destroy a marriage over a small sexual interest, but I don’t want to be locked into vanilla sex forever.

Any advice on getting her to come around? Partner Against Nighties That Intrigue Eager Spouse

Someone can be “open to new things” without being “open to everything.” So your wife might be up for exploring other sexual kinks, positions, and circumstances— hubby-in-lingerie isn’t the only form of non-vanilla sex out there—but seeing you in panties could be a “libido killer,” a term coined by Emily “Dear Prudence” Yoffe. If that’s the case, PANTIES, she may never come around. But if it’s not a libido killer, if it’s just something she hasn’t had time to wrap her head around, your best course of action is to drop the subject for now. Let the wife see that your interest isn’t all-consuming and you still enjoy vanilla sex in gender-conforming underpants, and indulging this particular kink may come to seem less threatening.

Where can straight women find men who won’t make odd sexual

requests? Dumped One Again

Graveyards.

On the Lovecast, Dan chats with graphic novelist Ellen Forney about dating when you’re bipolar: savagelovecast.com.

» BY DAN SAVAGE » MAIL@SAVAGELOVE.NET » @FAKEDANSAVAGE

EVENTS

FIND AND SUBMIT EVENTS AT Hands On Butchery Class w/ URBANITENEWS.COM/EVENTS Jamie Waldron Rino’s Kitchen & Ale House | 11 a.m.-4 p.m. | $250

COMING UP

WEDNESDAY, MAY 7 National Youth Arts Week Arts Council Windsor & Region

Birds, Books & Brunch w/ Lynn Thomson The Willistead Restaurant | 11 a.m. | $35-$50

Zine Night w/ Rosina Riccardo Civic Space | 7-10 p.m.

Mother’s Day High Tea Olde Walkerville Theatre | 1-4 p.m. | $25

Tone Tone St. Andrew’s Hall | 7 p.m. | $18

The Birds auditions Kordazone Theatre | 1-4 p.m.

Devonian Gardens w/ Port Juvee ShopEco’s Natural Beauty 101 Breathe Pilates & Fitness Studio | Phog Lounge | 9 p.m. 2-3:30 p.m. | $5 THURSDAY, MAY 8 The Infatuations w/ Ty Stone St. Andrew’s Hall (Detroit) | 6 p.m. Broken City Lab The Best of | $10 Awards Civic Space | 6 p.m. Masterworks: Apotheosis to the Dance National Film Board Club Windsor Public Library (Central) | Windsor Symphony Orchestra | 7 p.m. | $20-$62 6:15-7:45 p.m. Breton w/ Kid Karate Magic Stick Lounge (Detroit) | 7 p.m. | $10 Ellie Goulding Caesars Windsor | 8 p.m. | $2546.55 Alumni Club Thursdays w/ Mark Crampsie Dominion House | 9-11:30 p.m. Sean Conway Phog Lounge FRIDAY, MAY 9

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Windsor Light Music Theatre | 8 p.m. | $16, $31, $36 Dom Pare The Comedy Quarry | 8:30 p.m. | $12 Ollie Vee w/ The Silvertones Phog Lounge Better Weather w/ The Eric Welton Band, Takers & Leavers Villains Beastro SUNDAY, MAY 11

THE URBANITE » URBANITENEWS.COM » MAY 7 2014 » 15 TUESDAY, MAY 13 Artists in the Community - Workplace Grant Info Session Arts Council Windsor & Region | 7-9 p.m. Open Stage Night w/ Andrew & Leigh Dominion House | 9 p.m. League of Wolves w/ East Grand Band Phog Lounge WEDNESDAY, MAY 14 Library Idol Windsor Public Library (Nikola Budimir) 6-7:15 p.m. Ladies Craft Beer Education Series Rino’s Kitchen & Ale House | 6:30-8 p.m. | $30/class Reignwolf w/ Silent Lions The Shelter (Detroit) | 6:30 p.m. | $12 The Brains Dominion House | 8-11 p.m. | $7 ADV/$10 ATG The River and the Road Phog Lounge THURSDAY, MAY 15

Bryan Hatt The Comedy Quarry | 9 p.m. | $12

WEEKLY MONDAYS

DJ Double A Phog Lounge

Open Mic Surgery w/ James O-L Phog Lounge | doors 9 p.m.

Live Music w/ Xprime Villains Beastro

TUESDAYS

SATURDAY, MAY 17

Open Stage Night w/ Year’s of Ernest Dominion House | 5 p.m.

Windsor Eats: Wine Trail Ride Cycling Tour Aleksander Estate Winery (Ruthven) | 11 a.m. | $75

V.O.M.I.T. (Vocal Open Mic Instrumental Talent) Villains Beastro

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Banquet The Scottish Club | 6 p.m. | $12 & $25 Ones to Watch w/ Eric Hutchinson St. Andrew’s Hall (Detroit) | 7 p.m. | $16 Bryan Hatt The Comedy Quarry | 8:30 p.m. | $12 Reba McEntire Caesars Windsor | 9 p.m. | $55$119.35 The Roncy Boys album release Phog Lounge

Jason Bonham’s Led Zeppelin Experience Caesar’s Windsor | 9 p.m. | $20$76.30

BOTB w/ Athena’s Grace, Boys of Fall, At Anchor, Like Statues, Drawn to Fury & Lower Lifes The Shelter (Detroit) | 6 p.m. | $10 MONDAY, MAY 19 Slow Roll Greektown 1 Detroit Bike City | 6:30 p.m. Blog Party Civic Space | 7-10 p.m. TUESDAY, MAY 20 TOAST Open Mic Poetry Phog Lounge | 9 p.m. Open Stage Night w/ Andrew & Leigh Dominion House | 10 p.m.

Open Mic w/ Jamie Reaume The Manchester Pub WEDNESDAYS Wacky Wexican Wednesdays w/ Dee Russ Dominion House | 5 p.m. P.U.K.E. (People Using Karaoke Equipment) Villains Beastro The Groove Trio FM Lounge | 8 p.m. Vice Aerial Phog Lounge | 10 p.m. Dave Russell Dominion House Tavern THURSDAYS Celtic Night w/ Mark Crampsie Dominion House | 5 p.m. Funk Junkies The Manchester Pub | 10 p.m. Open Mic w/ Anderson FM Lounge | 10 p.m. FRIDAYS Crystal Head Fridays Level 3 Vodka Emporium | 10 p.m. Loveless Fridays w/ Daniel Victor The Loop | 10 p.m. After Work Party

Rino’s Kitchen & Ale House | 7 p.m.

ONGOING Biannual All Media Exhibition 2014 Detroit Artists Market | until May 23 Ten X Twenty fine art show Nancy John’s Gallery | until May 10