The Anti-Social World of Social Media Laura Mazzitelli

The Anti-Social World of Social Media

Laura Mazzitelli @lmmazzitelli

The online world: a virtual place where most millenials reside daily. Many of us know it all too well. We wake up, we check our phone. We refresh, we scroll. Then soon enough, we do it all over again. Bored at 2pm? Why not check Instagram? Stuck in a class that’s boring you? Time to check your messages. Eating food from a local café? Take a Snapchat and send it to everyone, because if you didn’t snap it, it didn’t happen, right? If we don’t do it, we’ve done it. And if we haven’t done it, we know someone who has. This is the online world we live in, and as time passes and new apps are invented, updated and popularised, the online world filters down to become our reality. According to We Are Social and Hootsuite’s latest collection of Global Digital 2019 reports, one million new users are joining the internet every day, and a total of 3.5 billion people now engage with at least one online social media platform. With this continual increase in social media use, it is easy to withdraw ourselves from the present and delve into the apps on our phones. We now text rather than call, post online instead of sharing moments in person, and yes, some spend that extra fifteen minutes in the morning stressing over a photo-worthy outfit in case their friend whips out their phone to post and tag you in their story. Perhaps you have been in a situation where you are mid conversation with your friend, and as you are about to take a bite of your lunch, they cry: ‘STOP! PHOTO!’. You, hungry and confused, must put down your knife and fork so your food remains in its original, pristine condition. They then take an Instagram boomerang, where you, caught off guard, tilt your head to the side in an attempt to strike a somewhat natural and ‘unplanned’ pose, and, if you both agree it has good lighting, they upload it to their social media account to show their 700 followers what they ate for lunch, and who they were with. These are the often unspoken behaviours of many social media users, and such behaviour can take us away from the actual moment of sharing a meal, to be replaced with a subconscious awareness of how many people will view it. It sounds kind of silly when we think of it like this doesn’t it? But we often don’t. Most of all, we don’t tend to talk about how superficial and meaningless it may be when our primary purpose for sharing things is to prove our self-worth. Sure, there are times when we want to share amazing experiences, locations, quotes and inspiring stories with our friends and peers, and that is a great benefit of social media sharing. But, there is a fine line between these special moments and messages, and seeking social validation by comparing ourselves to others. What we can also sometimes fail to see is that people’s lives may not be as glamorous as they seem online, and behind the pixels may lie a sense of deep insecurity and craving for approval.

Think about it like this. Prior to social media use, did your grandparents feel the need to take a picture of their every meal? Chances are they wouldn’t have, and most of them probably didn’t even have a digital camera, nor possess the mentality to take a photo of it in the first place. In fact, if they did own a camera, the most likely reason for it would be to capture the moment and save it for their own private viewing. How times have changed…

Upon conducting a survey involving a group of over thirty millennial social media users ranging from thirteen to twenty-one, it became apparent that in many cases, this behaviour and mentality comes from a desire to present the best version of ourselves and our situations for others to validate. When asked if users seek social validation online, respondents unanimously said yes. Most respondents elaborated on this question by saying how ‘likes’ and comments are perceived as a measure of popularity, one respondent saying there is a ‘constant comparison and hunger for likes’. These confessions from millennials show us how easy it is to be swept up in the crazes and phases of social media.

Of course, the level of social media use and the mentality behind it will vary from person to person, but those who find themselves becoming absorbed by the happenings of others and their endeavours can sometimes make us feel insecure or undervalued if we aren’t constantly updating our own platforms.

Imagine a modern world where we could be at our happiest point in our life, and are so in tune with the physical world around us and the people that care for us, that we forget to take out our phones and share it with the internet. These private moments may be the most special of all, and you’d know this because you wouldn’t feel the need to share it with everyone. So, perhaps we need to start asking ourselves if being ever-present online is the right way to live, or if we should find a balance and come back to reality and live in the moments that shape us into our true, authentic selves; unburdened by our online image.

Lilly May @lillymayillustrations