Volume 3 Body by UTS Vertigo

BODY

ILLUSTRATIONS by Zachariah Lee HOW I HEAR by Bettina Liang THE LINEAGE by Nickin Alexander

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Acknowledgement of Country The University of Technology Sydney would like to acknowledge the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation as the traditional custodians and knowledge keepers of the land in which UTS now stands, and pays respect to Elders past, present, and emerging. Maree Graham Deputy Director, Students, and Community Engagement Jumbunna Institute for Indigenous Education & Research

Vertigo would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians and knowledge keepers of the land where we lived and worked as editors and designers during the creation of this magazine, paying respect to Elders past, present, and emerging. We extend that acknowledgement to any First Nationsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; people reading this magazine. We exist on stolen land, and we recognise that sovereignty was never ceded. We acknowledge that Aboriginal peoples have endured past and continuing injustices and dispossession of their traditional lands and waters, and encourage our readers to educate themselves, pay respect to Australiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s dark history, and actively work toward reconciliation. If it is within your means to do so, please donate to Indigenous organisations such as in the following: https://thelatch.com.au/indigenous-organisations-to-donate-to/

Sunny Adcock and Sophie Tyrrell would like to acknowledge the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation.

Evlin DuBose and Esther Hannan-Moon would like to acknowledge the Wangal and Gadigal people of the Eora Nation.

Karishama Singh and Elby Chai would like to acknowledge the Cammeraygal people of the Eora Nation.

Amy Toma and Ella Cyreszko would like to acknowledge the Cabrogal people of the Dharug Nation.

Jennifer Wen would like to acknowledge the Biddegal people of the Eora Nation.

Rachel Lee would like to acknowledge the Dharawal people of the Dharug Nation. 1

Contents, Ind ex

Acknowledgement

Illustrations by Zachariah Lee

Contents

Police Me by Suzy Monzer

Content Warnings

Skin & Other Things by Merena Nguyen & Jackie Terret

Editors’ Letter

Unveiling an Unjust System by Amara Khan

Under the Influence by Izzie Conti

InkSphinx by Nina Pirola

Antiquated Masculinity by Ruben Savariego

Body Suite by Evlin DuBose

For every woman i’ve ever known by Amani Mahmoud

Untitled by Caroline Huang

The Compulsion to Repeat by Mary Elizabeth Tran

100

Rhapsody and Resistance: A Conversation with Damien Sato by Hebah Ali

Built to Win by Sunny Adcock

104

Baal by Raveena Grover

The lineage by Nickin Alexander

112

crumbs by Alice Winn

An Interview with Pole Money by Ella Cyreszko, Amy Toma & Karishama Singh

114

Uh-Huh Honey by Marissa Vafakos

The (fe)Male Gaze by Sunny Adcock & Ella Cyreszko

122

Dysmorphia by Ch’aska Cuba de Reed

Traces by April Jiang

124

Chained and Perfumed - Scanned Face Masks by Tristan Miller

How I Hear by Bettina Liang

128

It’s What’s Underneath by Katherine Rajwar

One Story of Many by Eva Harrington

130

Forms to Formalism by Meadowbrook Ow

136

Smoothies 101 by Karishama Singh

158

Tag Yourself by Rachel Lee

140

Saint Galvanism’s Transcendence by Bryan Lim

160

Horoscopes by Ivy Cheung

142

Sex Tips for All Genders! by Kate Rafferty

162

Dear Verti

150

Star Dust by Elby Chai & Evlin DuBose

166

Student Association Officer Reports

154

Plastic by Josephine Wyburn

170

Submit to Vertigo

Content Warnings Vertigo readers should be advised that there are content warnings before relevant pieces; this issue in particular contains more warnings than usual, many of them strong. Some articles contain themes or references to: mental illness, self-harm, injury, violence, domestic abuse, suicide, blood, nudity, sex, sexual harassment, death, terminal illness, body dysmorphia, gender dysphoria, drugs and alcohol, discrimination, police brutality, and eating disorders. Please keep this in mind as you enjoy our magazine; your health and safety are important to us.

If you or someone you know is experiencing or has experienced sexual abuse, you can call or refer to the following confidential hotlines. General — 1800 737 732 Counselling — 1800 211 028 Crisis Centre — 1800 424 017 If you, or someone you know, is struggling with or has struggled with drug abuse and/or addiction, please consider speaking to your local GP, a healthcare professional, or calling the numbers below. Alcohol and Other Drugs Information Service (ADIS) — 1800 250 015 Opioid Treatment Line (OTL) — 1800 642 428 Available Monday to Friday: 9:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. NSW Quitline — 13 7848 (13 QUIT)

Contact the UTS Counselling Services on 9514 1177, or visit the UTS Counselling Services website to find out more and access the extensive online self-help resources. If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, please consider speaking to your local GP, a healthcare professional, or calling one of the numbers below.

Available Monday to Friday: 7 a.m. to 10:30 p.m. Available Saturday, Sunday and public holidays: 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. If you are struggling with self-injurious behaviour, such as self-harming or an eating disorder, please reach out to the following:

Lifeline — 13 11 14

Butterfly Foundation - (02) 9412 4499

Beyond Blue — 1300 22 4636

National Eating Disorder Collaboration - 1800 33 4673

R S O ’ L IT

TER

When we become, the first boundary we understand is the body. Our edges, our senses, the very movements we make. Hand to the mirror, and we see ourselves. But as we grow, our self is politicised; one can’t move these days without an opinion on how. Stomachs aren’t for eating, hearts aren’t for beating. Try and develop a thick skin, but is it the right skin — colour, age, texture? What if you were born in the wrong body? What if your body is considered defective or wrong? What if you’ve augmented it, refined it, let it go, or survived it? And is the body truly the first, last, and greatest boundary — or is there more that makes us human? Every part of our being carries a cultural weight, and everyone gets a say. The thought on bodies is as diverse as bodies themselves, and it’s always evolving — like our beings. Bodies this year have dominated our zeitgeist. Shaming, illness, gender, and race have undergone long overdue reckonings. Our first call-out brought a slew of submissions: this is the one subject on whom no one can remain silent. Bodies may not be everything, but they are all we have, and we’ve poured over your vulnerabilities and treasured your ordinary

courage. We wanted to understand our beings, unpack the divisive and the ordinary. We’ve got our minds on our matter now. The conversation about our bodies is endless and should never be over; as designers and editors, we’ve tried to be diverse in our aesthetic and topics, but we’re limited to our body-copy and word count. Inevitably, in some way, we’ll fall short, and hope that one day the conversation will progress beyond what we’ve covered here. And for something as political and steeped in trauma as the history of our bodies, we’ll caution you, dear reader, that this edition is absolutely littered with content warnings. Tread carefully, be safe, and show yourself some love — because we hope to! And lastly, because the work of anti-racism, anti-sexism, antiqueerphobia, and anti-the-failings-of-history is never over, if you feel we could do better, send us an email and let us know! This is a discussion, after all, and not the final word. But for now, let’s delve into the physical, and explore the boundaries of the BODY. Love,

WE’VE GOT OUR on MINDS OUR matter NOW

EDITORIAL RECOMMENDATIONS

Frog TikTok The chef emoji Schitt’s Creek Watercolour painting salt. by nayyirah waheed Stepney Workers Club ALDI’s vegan cheese Iceberg lettuce JOON Magazine Ungodly Hour by Chloe x Halle

Content Warning: Drugs and Alcohol, Self-Harm, Mental Illness, Sexual References, Nudity, Blood

UNDER THE chippendale, new-wave one year ago [the night that made me leave my skin in a pile in the change room swapping it out and stepping into the world in another] schooners spill strangers are friends a tango train of supporters laughing, being sipping – becoming yours…with your hands on my vessel [your friends know they see pride] […] she walks in effectively disarming she wears red lipstick for strength [i see botched application] tears your arms from my waist her faux-fur army masks the green of what she wanted but couldn’t have [to think i felt comfortable to sport nickel nipples and levi’s]

by Izzie Conti 6

right on cue, a stranger: “so, who’s it gonna be?” i was supposed to know that you two were competing [but failed to notice you hadn’t left the starting line] in four you ignored my affections ate the rest of your pure sugar and left me sipping glenfiddich 18 in two […] i woke but wasn’t in your soft blue i was choking under synthetic mink to drown in blackness on cold, checked tiles giving up my body… a failed exorcism a hasty goodbye […] FICTION

undiscovered landmines plague my psyche with surprises of the past and my brain says bite to bleed scream to rid i scrub at the breaks of the surface of my skin killing the remaining 5% washing the blackness of night down the drain […] i watch my vessel from outside myself and let it sink to the bottom of the ocean i watch both from above and below as its crevices expand and morph and flail to blacken like tar to drown to still [to become anything but my own]

Izzie Conti is a Media Arts & Production student. Find more on Instagram @eye2belly

ANTIQUATED Masculinity by Ruben Savariego

Content Warning: Nudity, Mental Illness, Eating Disorders, Suicide, Abuse

“It is a disgrace to grow old through sheer carelessness before seeing what manner of man you may become by developing your bodily strength and beauty to their highest limit.” - Socrates, 371 BC Various beliefs and cultural upbringings inform gender norms, but across the board, our views of the ‘ideal’ man share some provocative commonalities: a broadshouldered, three-legged specimen, with intelligence for days and an obnoxious sense of self. Oh, it’s like he’s been sculpted by the Greeks…and exactly that he was. Greco-Roman antiquity birthed not only the ability to measure, calculate, and critique man-made invention, but also man himself. The male form would (and must) only conform to one desired image: poised, strong, and proud. But why did the belief originate that in order to be manly, men must be unbelievably muscular? And why were the Greeks so obsessed with being naked all the time? Clearly they didn’t think to account for my inability to retain muscle. NON-FICTION

Well over two thousand years ago, the Contrapposto emerged at the forefront of sculpture, where men were candidly, sensuously hovering and bearing all. Philosophically, nudity (as seen in Italian Contrapposto sculpture) embodied both heroism and heavenly virtue. Exceptionally muscular figures accompanied this nudity to reiterate inherent strength, courage, and class, to contrast the Greeks’ ‘barbaric’ counterparts. Ironically, the rather fragile artefacts represented a rather fragile masculinity. This competitive ideal of manliness, however, became unbreakable throughout history; by stripping away the man, we are left with too much and too little.

RUBEN SAVARIEGO

Today, men are four times more likely than women to be undiagnosed with muscle dysmorphia, colloquially referred to as ‘bigorexia’. Many men contribute to the the popularity of Instagram fitnessgurus with millions of followers and cheese-grater abs, without considering for one moment that while these ‘gurus’ are posing for the camera, they’re most likely dangerously dehydrated and malnourished. While it is temptingly optimistic to think we have eliminated much of the societal pressure surrounding body image, the research suggests that the stigma surrounding men hasn’t kept up with the body positive times. This increase in men suffering with poor body image, coupled by the ‘unmanly’ shame of vulnerability and the unwillingness to have tough conversations, reveals the crux of the problem. It is clear that for many men body image is a gendered issue, and by grappling with a stereotypically ‘feminine’ problem, they are believed to be less masculine. Higher rates of suicide, domestic violence, and substance abuse are all contributed to by arguably the worst assault to a man’s ego: “you’re not manly enough.” I would like to believe I don’t let societal norms misguide my understanding of nuanced concepts such as gender or body image. However, it would be ignorant of me to assume I’m immune to conformity. Mixed into our baby formula are the contrived fallacies and judgements of ourselves and our physicality. We’re socialised into these systems of thinking that take patience and understanding to

actively unlearn. Revisiting the works of our friends in Ancient Greece, it seems that to embrace the true male form today is more impossible yet necessary than ever. They taught us many things, but perhaps most revelatory is the concept of vanity, or the apparent notion that pride (or even confidence) and humility can’t coexist. There’s a disconnect between the one-dimensional Thor-like body standards and the body confidence men are supposed to naturally possess. I’m equal parts ashamed of my own insecurity and society’s. And since shame is the mute button on all tough

conversations, the cycle persists. So how do we form our own authentic identity â&#x20AC;&#x201D; without being swayed by all the performative imagery? Hypermasculine media only feeds feelings of inadequacy. While it all seems inescapable, it is important to remind ourselves that men deserve autonomy over their bodies, too, in whatever way that may mean. By continuing to challenge preconceptions for all genders, we can reshape our views of form and physical attraction, and ultimately gain true confidence with our bodies. P.S. Thorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not all that bad! His hammer would work wonders at smashing the patriarchy. (And a few of those marble sculptures, too!)

NON-FICTION Ruben Savariego is a first year Visual Communication student. Find more on Instagram at @rubenbaz

for every woman i’ve by ever known Amani Mahmoud Content Warning: Domestic Abuse, Blood, Injury, Death, Violence my mother’s hands, protruding veins embroidered on aged skin like roadmaps leading to nowhere hands that have kneaded too much atta hands that have held too many broken things i watch them drown in the moonlight and i can’t help but say i want a life that is nothing like yours i don’t want sacrifice

AUTHOR NAME

and she recoils retracts, she says this is my choice she runs on open, bloody wounds toward a narrowing horizon toward a sunset perpetually out of reach and says to me “these are my choices don’t you ever look me in the eyes i gave you and have the courage to pity me” she says choice but how can i see choice when i see her mother, her mother’s mother, all the women in my family, all the women i have ever known

i see the wounds they held closed with calloused hands i see the sewing of smiles into tired, weathered faces i see endless unreasonable compromises i see them standing in shallow graves i see them just being in the wrong place at the wrong time think of all the slit necks and all the blood spilt just so he could drink, just so he could see something red i see acid tears burning their hands that they made the mistake of crying into i see generations of frustration that she’ll only ever show through a single sigh

12 7

Illustrations by Angelina blahblaj Tran. Find more on Instagram @lookatmytutu

my cousin calls with a split lip and with a joker-like smile, says “what? nothing happened?” and then she drowns in denial and i’ll always ask why she stays and goes through exhausting mess people i know have left for a lot less

she said don’t you worry i’ll drink the blood that they took till it pours from my eyes and maybe then you’ll realise that i don’t need help, i don’t need pity, i’m doing just fine

she’s free from him now — at least there’s that, but she told me she can’t help but miss the knife in her back

FICTION

i remember when a different cousin’s abuser died she said it doesn’t matter and that her jaw still clicks and her mind plays tricks when she sees him at night and when someone’s touch makes her flinch

i tell my mother i still pray for a life nothing like theirs and i know we’ll always disagree

but she says instead you should pray to be anything, anything like me.

Amani Mahmoud is a fourth year Law and Social Political Blah Blah Science studied student. Degree. FindFind more more on Instagram on Platform @amxni.m @handle

13 8

THE COMPULSION

by Mary Elizabeth Tran Content Warning: Injury, Mental Illness, Death ‘The compulsion to repeat’ was a term Freud used to describe traumatic reenactments. These reenactments are an unconscious attempt to have control over a painful situation, one that could eventually be resolved or managed. To help understand the narratives of various family members who took part in the Vietnam War, I have produced a series of photographs that juxtaposed the idea of analgesia with the re-exposure to stress and pain, providing a similar relief for war veterans. The story consists of a man’s hallucinations: he has a vague sense of emptiness, welcoming the swing of his friend’s arm. It’s familiar territory. Battered and bruised, the man remains overtaken by futility, resulting in his own demise.

TO REPEAT

SHOWCASE

MARY ELIZABETH TRAN

SHOWCASE

MARY ELIZABETH TRAN

SHOWCASE Mary Elizabeth Tran is a second year Photography student. Find more on Instagram @maryelizabethtran

Content Warning: Discrimination

BUILT to win I always felt like my body defined the way people perceived me. I was confident in my intelligence and my character, but never in my ability to take up space without being ‘too much’ or ‘too larger than life’. The intersection of fatphobia and the patriarchy had me believing that my body was one that required shrinking. Despite this, I have always savoured one consistent relief from the pressures of diet culture: music. When a good song comes on, it’s like a higher spirit jumps into my body and assumes control. A good playlist should make you feel fierce, fine, and fabulous! I want music that has my body moving in ways that feel like a gift. I want music that gives me a stank face that just won’t quit, and as my mother once said: the best way to get the heart thumping is to get the booty jumping!

So, here’s a playlist that I hope will make you feel as though your body, as it is right now (not the version that exists in your fantasy future) is built to win. It’s about mentality, not just physicality. It’s moving with intention, daring to live boldly and unapologetically, and powerfully claiming space with the body you’re in — even if that journey starts with just one song.

A Playlist by Sunny Adcock 20

Illustrations by blahblaj

Sunny Adcock is a second year Journalism and Public Relations student. Find more at www.asunnyspot.com

AMPLIFY

‘Lose Control’ by Missy Elliot, Ciara & Fatman Scoop • ‘Fitness’ by Lizzo • ‘Lemon’ by N.E.R.D, Rihanna & Pharrell Williams • ‘Hot in Herre’ by Nelly • ‘CLONES’ by Tierra Whack • ‘Raspberry Beret’ by Prince • ‘Truth Hurts’ by Lizzo • ‘Get Low’ by Lil Jon & The East Side Boys • ‘Water Me’ by Lizzo • ‘Tap In’ by Saweetie • ‘Hot Girl Summer’ by Megan Thee Stallion, Ty Dollar $ign & Nicki Minaj • ‘Mad At Me.’ by Kiana Ledé • ‘I’m Still Standing’ by Elton John • ‘Lose My Breath’ by Destiny’s Child • ‘WIN’ by Jay Rock • ‘Cold’ by Rico Nasty & Kenny Beats • ‘Milkshake’ by Kelis • ‘Yoga’ by Janelle Monáe & Jidenna • ‘Shea Butter Baby’ by Ari Lennox ft. J.Cole • ‘That’s Right’ by Ciara & Lil Jon

The lineage by Nickin Alexander

I remember the first time when she looked at me red hair floating in the breeze I was six she was five and thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all I ever knew Hand in hand Side by side waiting in that class line And that little boy black, slicked hair and deep brown skin felt all the warmth he needed It wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t till later when we were older that I knew what had become she stayed pretty, smiling sweetly and something deep in me succumbed 22

FICTION

thick hair grew on sweet brown skin but grow my body did not Lanky, skinny, ditched in dark No longer was I enough

NICKIN ALEXANDER

I watched the face the same that was pulled by girl and boy again Until I accepted with a little sadness that I was not for them I looked in strife in many mirrors Cursed with contempt and angst To not really know To not really see that my body was just for me Now I know a right young man Thick hair that will always stay a chin pronounced dusted slightly, coated in stubble the soft colour of an ashtray

The chin I share with the man who raised me Whom now Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d much rather be His love for me is what I needed a strength and courage that got me farther And just above it sits a familiar silly smile One I share with someone best the woman who bore and carried me long whose fire burns deep in my chest

FICTION

A family A culture A religion A tribe A shade with all the acceptance I need With a brown mass And lessons of good And a lineage full and free And littered throughout this familiar brown skin scars and stories of me And in its entirety a blessing in disguise I am reminded and finally free

Nickin Alexander is a graduated Social Inquiry student. Find more on Instagram @yodhav._

AN INTERVIEW WITH by Ella Cyreszko, Karishama Singh, and Amy Toma Art by Pole Money AUTHOR NAME

Content Warning: SexualReferences, Nudity, Mental Illness, Suicid e

Pole Money 1

Illustrations by blahblaj

We understand that the individual lives and experiences of sex workers are incredibly varied and diverse. How did you get into the industry and what has your personal journey been like? I hate this question, as if sex work isn’t like any other job that doesn’t require any special training or experience. It looks to confirm the narrative that a series of unfortunate events must have got you into that situation. Like any unskilled labour, you just apply!

Boasting a large Instagram following, Pole Money uses social media as a business tool, creative outlet, and information platform, informing her followers, one story at a time, of important issues surrounding her work and world politics. She’s entirely self-made and has an inspiring entrepreneurial spirit. Pole Money notes that it’s important for her to have a business model that works well for her, but equally helps others. Safe to say, we stan.

Like every other field, we imagine that sex work has its highs and lows. What do you enjoy most about your job? The best part about my job is the stability it gives me. Despite the fluctuations in the industry, who knows where I would be without it. I can guarantee it wouldn’t have given me the financial

AMPLIFY

Sel f-procl aimed powerful bitch, Pole Money is a twenty-three year old sex worker and artist currently residing on unceded Gadigal land. Pole Money has had almost five years of experience across the sex work industry, and has most recently produced her own clothing line ACAB SAV (@acab_sav on Instagram), with big plans to use her designs as a tool to express both fashion and politics.

I started in erotic massage while I was trying to move from the South Coast and lasted about two weeks — my mental state and the stresses of travelling, upholding a cover story, and generally not being confident lead me to quit. I worked at a checkout for a few months in between, but couldn’t hold down a job and the Uni degree I was doing at the same time, so I ended up back in the industry at a strip club. I would leave Uni an hour early on a Thursday and work until about 3 a.m., then go back into Uni at 10 a.m. on Friday, do it again that night and then over the weekend. I gradually moved back into massage and then into full service sex work as I grew exhausted with the emotional labour stripping required. I’ve now dropped out of my film degree to pursue money and freedom full-time.

Vertigo hit her up to talk to her about her work, solidarity within the sex work community, politics, and how sex work dismantles society’s expectations of wom*n’s relationships with their bodies. 27

stability to even live in Sydney, let alone take the risks I have to go for my other creative goals. Choosing my own hours and working for myself also allows me to decide what amount of time I’d like to dedicate to the other parts of my life – that level of security and independence feels really good.

FOSTA*, the way internet censorship has taken away our support networks is dangerous not only for our mental health, but also the general safety of workers. This legislation killed people within days of its signing, and it’s hard to quantify the body count a couple years on.

What is it like to be part of the sex work community? What are the relationships like between sex workers?

[*Stop Enabling Sex Traffickers Act/Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act, passed in the US in 2018]

I experienced my first feelings of community and solidarity in the girl’s rooms of strip clubs and brothels. In sex work, you’re looking at someone’s asshole in a back room before you’ve memorised their name. You’re all keeping the same secret and facing the same assumptions despite all the differences you may have – so the bond grows quickly. I also never really had any strong female role models in my life until I met my wife, Stefanie, who is also a sex worker. I have no siblings, and my relationship with my mum isn’t amazing, so to experience that was special. Now, with the internet, the sense of community can be felt from across continents, and I often find queer community in sex work spaces, or vice versa, which brings a new level of intimacy. We understand that you’ve had numerous Instagram accounts deleted, and that your Twitter is shadowbanned. What role does social media play in your field, and how is that affected by actions that these social media platforms take against sex workers? Like most fields, social media is good for business, and being able to freely post about work would probably really help my money-making potential. Constantly having to dance around community guidelines is anxiety inducing, and frankly dehumanising. Working out a series of code words and omitting huge parts of your experience feels isolating. The internet is a huge way for sex workers who aren’t ‘out’ to find support. If we look at this in the broad perspective of SESTA/

We’ve seen on your Instagram that you’ve been very vocal about the stigma that exists against sex workers in society. How do you believe that this can be combated? This is a huge question. I think listening to sex workers is the main thing, and making it your responsibility to amplify a diverse range of voices; it’s also good to remember it’s in the interest of everyone involved to be intersectional. Sex workers who are out on the internet are often expected to be the poster children for the entire industry, but despite my experience and what I’ve read, I’m still a skinny white girl, and therefore I can’t speak on behalf of anyone apart from myself. Listening to us leads to learning about the legislation we’re pushing for and showing up when we need numbers for change. We need an upheaval of the entire system: drug law reform, no borders, abolition of police, and sovereignty for all sex workers to be liberated.

Do you have any recommendations for resources that people can use to better educate themselves about sex work? Revol ting Prostitutes (2018) by Juno Mac and Molly Smith is an amazing resource. Listen to “How I Paid for My Titties” by Leilah. Read online, “Dominatrix makes her clients read black feminist theory and she says it’s affecting how they behave to women (with one man even starting a group to help African American single mothers)”. “Suicide, violence, and going underground: FOSTA’s body count”. Watch the movies Al anis by Anahí Berneri and T ales of the Night Fairies on YouTube. Follow Instagrams like @tilly_lawless, @1800fucktalk, @ wheafatclit, @missvchicago, @swop_ usa, @charlieshe, @wearedancers.usa, @ justice4sexualassault, and the Facebook pages of SWOP and Scarlet Alliance.

AMPLIFY

Art by Pole Money. Find more on Instagram @hole_money

As young wom*n, we understand that our own relationships with our bodies are ever changing. Often we struggle when it comes to balancing society’s expectations of our bodies and how we perceive ourselves. How has your relationship with your body evolved over time?

AMPLIFY

I feel like as sex workers, we’re totally superseding general beauty standard rhetoric. We take it to a level where we dismantle what can be done to and with bodies. Balancing society’s expectation of a body can be especially hard when a sex worker doesn’t identify with the gender they’re working as: I’m sexualised as a woman because of my body, but don’t necessarily always feel like one. In sex work, there’s a place for everybody, and after seeing my peers work, I feel we are all hot in our own way. Anyone who’s fetishised should be free to capitalise on that. My job has made me realise it’s less about your physical body and more about your confidence — that’s what gets people coming back to spend more time with you. It’s also worth noting that sex work involves my body in a capacity equal to any manual labour job, but the work is often more mental. Do you have anything else you’d like to add or share? My OnlyFans handle is @pole_money, but you have to read the resources before you subscribe.

Ella Cyreszko, Karishama Singh, and Amy Toma are members of the Vertigo team. Find more on Instagram @ellcyk, @karishamasingh, and @byamytoma

THE MALE GAZE

(fe)

A CONVERSATION ON HARRY STYLES AND JOHN BERGER

BY & 32

SUNNY ADCOCK ELLA CYRESZKO

Content Warning: Sexual References, Sexual Harassment

Disclaimer: This piece was a conversation between Sunny and Ella, who are both coming from a heterosexual, cisgender perspective, hence are speaking from that lived experience.

SUNNY: Hey, friend! Do you have a minute to talk about our lord and saviour, Harry Styles? ELLA: Of course! Two words for you: WATERMELON SUGAR! SUNNY: He really screamed ‘women’s rights’ with this music video. I fully could not deal! It was hot, but it was also joyful and carefree. He basically provided us with a dissertation on “Hot Girl Summer”. ELLA: I was totally not expecting how steamy it was! Immaculate costuming, and just the hottest shots of Harry I’ve ever witnessed.

ELLA: I especially loved hearing the behind the scenes stories from the models who called him a ‘Consent King’.

AMPLIFY

SUNNY: Amen, sister! I was thrilled to see so many gorgeous women being loved up on. But seeing multiple light and dark skinned afro-wearing and curly-headed black girls was especially warming! I think Harry did a wonderful job at being sensual and exploring women’s pleasure, without objectifying the women around him.

SUNNY: Yes! And one of the black models said that he asked for consent before touching her afro, which is really so underrated and important. But what’s super interesting is that if you watch the video carefully...he never actually touches any of the women. ELLA: It’s dedicated to ‘touching’, yet he keeps his hands to himself the whole time! It’s exclusively the girls touching him and each other. It also struck me that all the super sensual shots focus on things like hands and tummies — things that aren’t inherently sexual, or typically filmed in a male singer’s music video. SUNNY: Ooh, super good point. It felt very nonperformative and natural. There was a notable absence of status, and in the shots where Harry sat back as a spectator, it didn’t feel creepy. He was clearly minding his own business and leaving the ladies be. It looked like a fun summer hang-out between friends with mutual respect for each other.

ELLA: Which is important, considering his fanbase is mostly female. I feel like Harry’s brand is intrinsically built on a huge respect for his fans and a constant desire to make them feel seen and heard. I feel like a lot of other musicians haven’t been able to achieve that same level of sensuality without coming across as self-serving and misogynistic.

SUNNY ADCOCK & ELLA CYRESZKO

SUNNY: That’s the thing: we should be able to talk about sex and pleasure without objectifying and disrespecting women. I don’t believe the two are mutually exclusive. But so much of the media we consume is dictated by the male gaze! ELLA: It’s so pervasive, this idea that men do the looking and women are looked at. John Berger put it brilliantly: “Women watch themselves being looked at.” We’ve almost internalised the male gaze as our own way of seeing ourselves. We don’t know what we look like if it’s not filtered through a male lens.

SUNNY: Right? Once Laura Mulvey defined ‘the gaze’, it suddenly gave us the capacity to identify this super tangible and omnipresent force. It strips us of all autonomy and complexity. It’s so much more than just sexualising women: it’s presenting them as one-dimensional objects who exist exclusively for male consumption. ELLA: Even when the media attempts to show women who are multidimensional, there’s still an underlying need for them to look visually appealing. If you see a woman in a film being vulnerable or angry, she still can’t cry ‘ugly tears’, or pop her hip out in a way that would make her figure look less than perfect. It’s exhausting! SUNNY: Do you think that a ‘female gaze’ exists? And if so, is it simply the female version of the male gaze? ELLA: I don’t think the female gaze is necessarily the opposite of the male gaze. It’s not the ‘objectification of men’, because even that is the male gaze. Male objectification tends to showcase a patriarchal, exaggerated version of masculinity, lingering on buff physiques and acts of toughness. This ‘female’ version of the male gaze is as if men were watching women watching men. Instead, the true ‘female gaze’ focuses on personhood. It’s informed by emotions and empathy. SUNNY: I feel like the female gaze is often more romantic and considered. It’s gentle, but nuanced. It allows women their own ambitions and desires. It’s also very introspective,

centered on how women view themselves and the women around them. It considers friendship and how women want other women to perceive themselves. There’s a sense of social responsibility, and it shows engagement on a personal level. It asks, “How does this make other women feel?” I find that empowering and valuable as a young woman. ELLA: Absolutely. However, I tend to struggle with reconciling how women can own their sexuality without catering to the male gaze. The classic “I wear makeup for me”, or “I get dressed up for my friends”. But do we really? Aren’t expressions of our sexuality inextricable from the male gaze at this point? SUNNY: Hmm, that’s really difficult. I think all of us have been victims to this system for so long that most of us don’t really know our likes and dislikes in the absence of external male validation. I definitely think there is a way to slowly distance yourself from the male gaze, but inevitably, given that the patriarchy has affected every inch of womanhood as we know it, it’s almost impossible to escape completely.

AMPLIFY

ELLA: That’s so sad but so true. At first glance, singers like Beyonce and Nicki Minaj seem to be catering completely to the male gaze — what they wear, how they present themselves — but, I can’t help but wonder if they are actually harnessing the male gaze to elevate themselves? SUNNY: Yes! I have a real problem with women who criticise Beyonce and Nicki’s feminism purely because both women choose to own their sexuality, publicly and proudly! I get the point of conflict because you could argue it’s rooted in male expectation, but both of those artists have found a way to make it work for them. They dictate who has access to their body. I really do feel like their confidence is internal and that’s why externally, it’s so overt in their entire physicality. ELLA: I think one of the biggest steps forward would be finding a type of feminism where women can be empowered through reclaiming the male gaze. Feeling good about ourselves is so entrenched in heteronormative beauty standards — everything is based on what will look good to men. We spend so much time and money on shaving and waxing and all sorts of beauty treatments.

SUNNY: I’ll never judge a woman’s worth for deciding to have elective, aesthetic plastic surgery for something beyond medical comfort, because I believe being a feminist means encouraging women to make choices for themselves — but I don’t believe it’s possible to separate our desire to look perfect from the pressure put on us to conform to beauty standards that are genetically impossible. It makes me sad that women pay money to painfully reconstruct themselves to fit an ideal.

SUNNY ADCOCK & ELLA CYRESZKO

ELLA: I feel the same way. It’s totally heartbreaking that people feel that their natural selves are not good enough. And above all, ‘choice’ will always be super important for me as a feminist, but what’s informing these choices? In saying that, I’m completely obsessed with all the Real Housewives series. And often the women in those shows really exemplify the kinds of patriarchal thinking I try so hard to resist. SUNNY: That’s super interesting, though, because that’s not a show with a large male audience, even though it plays to the male gaze.

Illustrations by Rachel Lee. Find more on Instagram @r_chel.pdf

ELLA: It plays into a male’s perspective of women: women obsessed with looks, pumped full of silicone, and constantly competing with each other.

“As female viewers, does that mean we’re complicit?...When I watch Gal Gadot in Wonder Woman, I still want her outfit, even though I know it’s sexist and impractical.”

“The contradictions! But where do we go from here? I don’t feel like there is a way to completely recover from the influence of the male gaze on women’s lives. ”

ELLA: The contradictions! But where do we go from here? I don’t feel like there is a way to completely recover from the influence of the male gaze on women’s lives, even if we understand where it comes from. SUNNY: More broadly, we need to hire more female screenwriters, directors, and producers, and support films that are centered around the female gaze. On a personal level, I think we just have to make a conscious effort to liberate ourselves from the male gaze within our own lives. We need to lead by example.

AMPLIFY

SUNNY: As female viewers, does that mean we’re complicit? Even problematic media can still seem appealing to informed women when they feel like they don’t have many other options. For example, when I watch Gal Gadot in Wonder Woman (2017), I still want her outfit, even though I know it’s sexist and impractical.

ELLA: Absolutely. You have to give yourself permission to not always be successfully and completely free of the male gaze, just always be suspicious and open to challenging certain ideals. SUNNY: It’s always going to be a work in progress, and that’s okay! Surround yourself with other women so that you can navigate and dismantle the patriarchy together. But in the meantime, I think only one thing remains clear… ELLA: What? SUNNY: Until proven otherwise, Harry Styles is simply superior. ELLA: *mic drop*

Sunny Adcock and Ella Cyreszko are members of the Vertigo team. Find more at www.asunnyspot.com and on Instagram @ellcyk

AUTHOR NAME

A work that imagines the invisible traces left

behind, capturing the shadow, scents, and sounds that remain.

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SHOWCASE April Jiang is a third year Visual Communication student. Find more on Instagram @aprildsign

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Photography and modelling by Bettina Liang.

I hear

I hear I hear I hear

No, it doesn’t run in my family. No, I don’t know sign language. I am simply deaf. And being deaf means: Always having that fear in the back of your mind, since your cochlear implants aren’t waterproof and thus you can’t hear in the shower. Coming second at the swimming carnivals because the teacher would be slow in tapping your shoulder when the gun goes off. Feeling isolated and alone sitting in a sea of other students during assembly, boiling with rage, desperation, and defeat when everyone laughs at a principal’s joke you couldn’t hear. Being an expert in the deaf nod, and knowing exactly when to agree because you have been reading body language since you were a child. Struggling severely during COVID-19 because face masks obscure the lips you read. Finding out that you hear with the level of someone with a mild hearing loss, even with your cochlear implants. Realising hearing people have some 12,000 hair cells that also help them balance, and remembering that awful time in PE when you couldn’t walk across the beam because your hearing loss affects your equilibrium.

I hear sound through twenty-two electrodes in my cochlear implant, in a small incision behind my ear. The scar has now faded. I hear sound through body language: the way someone mirrors my movements or doesn’t, their tone of voice, the way they are sitting or standing. I sense sound through the way the crowd turns their head towards the source. I see sound through the jolt in someone’s body, the arched eyebrows that signify shock or horror. I read sound in the way my brain creates the whisper of ‘wind rustling’ in the subtitles — even as I hear nothing. I feel sound when someone taps my shoulder after I don’t respond to them shouting my name over three times.

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Yes, I was born deaf.

I am hearing-impaired. And I am frustrated when people don’t repeat themselves — you wouldn’t understand how your twenty second recap of what just happened can make me feel so included.

I do hear sound — but I rely on so much more than my ears. Bettina Liang is a graduated Technology & Innovation student. Find more on Instagram @bettinaliang_

ONE STORY OF MANY by Eva Harrington

Content Warning: Sexual References, Discrimination, Sexual Harrassment

I have grown accustomed to suppressing memories that are laced with shame and confusion, because I have been doing it since I was just a young girl. However, I have decided to uproot all that pain so that it is open to the light of day, and now I am not sure that I am the same person anymore. My story is neither uncommon or unique. I am simply one voice in a thundering ocean that cries out about sexual harassment and systemic injustice. Too many men continue to subjugate and dehumanise women without knowing the profound impact it has on our lives. But no longer, will we sit with this in silence. I got my first job when I was fourteen and nine months. I was a register girl at my local butcher. The shop was male dominated but the newfound freedom of employment was liberating, so I didn’t mind. In my second week of work, as I stood weighing organic beef mince, my first customer of the day, a man thirty years my senior, told me I had a pretty face. The store seemed to get bigger with each second that I shrunk into myself. The following week an older man approached me while I served him chicken thighs and stated I was “a 9.5 out of 10, almost there but not quite.” I wanted the floor to

dissolve under me. I thanked him because I wanted to be polite. I was taught that women should always be kind. It wasn’t just the constant comments I received from customers, “I can see your bra through your shirt”, “How old are you?”, “Do you have a boyfriend? I bet a pretty girl like you has a boyfriend.” It was the way they stared at my body, like the pig carcass hanging at the back of the store. In the year following, my grandfather bought me driving lessons for my birthday. My first lesson was with a male instructor. When we pulled up to a set of lights, he asked me what I had done over the Christmas break. I told him that I had gone away on a cruise with my family. He stared at me and said, “I bet the boys were all over you on that trip. A goodlooking girl like you. Unless you already have a boyfriend. Do you have a boyfriend?” Further into that hour-long lesson, he pulled the car over to the side of a quiet suburban street, and the two of us sat there as he talked over me. He used his power in a small space, when I was young and alone, to make me feel confused and ashamed. I went home after that lesson and I cried.

Another year at a work Christmas party, a male friend of mine had gone into the bathroom and had overheard an older male colleague tell some other employees that tonight he was going to “fuck” me. I didn’t know this man; I had barely even spoken to him at work. My friend came back and told me, and it didn’t make me feel cool or sexy, it made me feel small and worthless.

Another morning, I was walking down the path from the staff room into the main school. Classes were in session, and no one was around. A cleaner for the school was walking up the path towards me. I smiled at him and he stopped in front of me. “I like your green jumper,” he said and then lifted one of his hands and hovered it over my chest, “I also like all of this.” At this point, he was holding the bottom of my jumper with The next year, I moved overseas and worked at a boarding his hand against my stomach. I stepped back, humiliated, and school. I spent a lot of time in the girls’ boarding house talking, walked away. In the days following, I wanted to crawl out of dancing, and discussing light-hearted things. Sometimes the my own skin, to leave it in a pile on the floor and never stop girls would say to me, “Miss Harrington, all the senior boys running. I still have that jumper in my closet but I never wear have a crush on you.” I would laugh and pretend it didn’t make it. Every time I see it, I am reminded. me feel uncomfortable. They were only young boys; it wasn’t serious. But it made me feel that I was doing something wrong, More recently, I took my first big career step, and was thrilled that I was potentially provoking them. One night in the board- to be moving forward in my industry. At our Christmas party, ing house dorm, a girl told me about a male student who, in I was told by my over-seeing manager, who was forty-nine the middle of the dining hall said, “Every time I see Miss years older than me, that I was beautiful and sexy, and that Harrington, I get an erection.” The following week another he wished we were introduced earlier. I reported to this man girl told me that during a game in the common room, a male and spoke to him every week as, without fail, he reminded student had said, “If I could, I would smash Miss Harrington me that I was only his junior. to a pulp.” The student was thirteen. I reported it to the headmaster’s wife. She said she understood why it made me feel uncomfortable but young boys say things of this nature and there wasn’t much we could do about it.

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This is just where it begins. As a society we have normalised everyday harassment so that As for the overdue reckoning ahead, I say this; the injustices we no longer see it, but as women we feel it. We feel the tight- committed against women’s bodies cannot be undone but the ness in our chests, the sweat on our palms, the hair on the back silencing of our stories ends now. Your voice is more important of our necks standing up, and that gut feeling that just says than ever and deserves to be heard. ‘run’. Now after years of shame and confusion, I can tell you that misogyny no longer makes me upset, it makes me angry. I am still learning to reclaim my body, to find again all the parts of myself that only belong to me and not the eyes of those who It makes me angry because I am only twenty, but I feel incred- have looked upon and tried to own me. But I need my future ibly tired; of proving my intelligence and capability, of being daughter’s story to be different than mine. I want her body to told that the sexual harassment I have experienced is just a feel like home. Her worth, just like mine, will not be decided reflection of my ‘pretty privilege’ and that I should be grateful, by the careless actions of men who know better. There is a way of being told to support my male colleagues, and to always do forward. I know this, because the road ahead has been carved what is kind. And I am angry, because being so tired has made out by the countless brave women who came before me. me feel disillusioned with the world.

Eva Harrington is a Journalism and Public Relations student. Find more on Instagram @evaharrington_

ILLUSTR by Zacha

‘Oblivion’, ‘In Morning’, and ‘Gaze’ are a series of pencil illustrations that explore the experiences of the body through spaces sometimes undefined or ambiguous. Placed in the confines of white space, the bodies are suspended in time, in a moment — the demarcation of the page. In these moments, the viewer is the voyeur, the body is objectified.

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Content Warning: Nudity, Sexual References

In these drawings. I wanted to scrutinise the gay male gaze and the oversexualised obsession with idealised bodies, the queer body existing somewhere between holiness and irreverence.

RATIONS ariah Lee

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Oblivion

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In Morning

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SHOWCASE Zachariah Lee is a third year Visual Communication and International Studies student. Find more on Instagram @izyukan

Police me. Police me hard, like face against pavement, like knees in necks, like black against system. Police me. Police me angry, like burqa ban, like white man, like I kneel, you stand. Police me. Content Warning: Violence, Injury, Police Brutality, Discrimination

or people. You lit me like candle, knew it would hurt, but it was pretty to watch, so now I must burn.

You police me, created a frame, cremated and cracked the pieces of me you didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t like so that I would fit.

Model migrant on fire, but never whining, never stepping over the borders drawn by you.

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You police my body, tell me I can be smart, sexy, maybe even wealthy. But never free.

Black man on fire, but never crying. There was room for my curves Never breathing and perceived purity, in more than the oxygen but never my voice provided by you.

SUZY MONZER

Alaa Massri on fire, but never lying, unlawfully arrested, but you were invested, had to hit your target where it hurts, strip her, show her to the world, like a trophy you had earned. But in the streets, heads turned, and she stood, hand on heart, firm fist in air. Words sing prayers, that fall on deaf ears.

To you, violence is hijabi medics helping protestors, freedom fighters begging for peace, black man selling cigarettes, black boys walking, black woman asleep in her home. Black, coloured, Other. To us, violence is you. So here we all are, showing up, facing your police.

Law enforcement thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s more enforcement than law, a system that gives to the rich from the poor. You call my brother suspect, dangerous, uncivilised, but never his name. We are words, numbers, stories,

but never her name.

but never people.

You call me terrorist, aggressive, lazy,

We are power, light, unity,

but never my name.

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You call my sister liar, liar, liar,

but never yours. We may be tired, sad, angry, but never silent. Suzy Monzer is a third year Journalism and Law student. Find more on Instagram @suzymonzer and @poetlyf

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Skin & Other Things A Zine by Merena Nguyen with words by Jackie Terret

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SHOWCASE Merena Nguyen is a third year Interior Architecture student. Find more on Instagram @madebymerena

UNVEILING AN Content Warning: Police Brutality, Discrimination, Violence ‘I can’t breathe.’ We have seen the police state stand on the necks of the oppressed, and strangle liberation. This has awakened the conscience of the global masses, no longer confining the Black Lives Matter (BLM) movement to the boundaries of the United States. The murder of George Floyd at the hands of racist police officers in Minneapolis sparked outrage and prompted a relentless new wave of protests demanding justice. Citizens of the world have finally begun to acknowledge the suffocating presence of the police in their neighbourhoods, a constant reminder that a police state can never be synonymous with justice or peace.

UNJUST Resources ‘The History of Modern Policing’ by Robert Longley • AWorld Without Police by A World Without Police • ‘Defunding the police could bring positive change in Australia. These communities are showing the way’ by Chris Cunneen • ‘# #JusticeForAlaa: Tell Miami Police to Keep Their # HandsOffOurHijabs’ by Maliya Naz • ‘Muslim woman’s lawyer says she was forced to remove hijab while under arrest for protesting’ by Marina Pitofsky • ‘US police have a history of violence against black people. Will it ever stop?’ by Oliver Laughland • ‘Why women’s bodies are a political battleground again’ by Jan Dalley

by AMARA KHAN

SYSTEM

Supporters of the BLM movement have expressed an urgent desire to defund the police. Much like capitalism, racism is built on a social hierarchy that seeks to rank certain peoples as ‘inferior’ and ‘superior’. The police exist to reinforce this hierarchy by over-criminalising people of colour (particularly those who are Black, Indigenous, Latinx, and/or Hispanic). The recent Miami policing incident against Alaa Massri goes to the heart of over-policing non-white bodies, one injustice of many in the long and shameful history of excessive and severe police enforcement amongst vulnerable communities. The justifiable outrage this has sparked reflects the urgent need for society to rethink the purpose of the police.

Who is Alaa Massri?

Not only was Alaa wrongfully arrested by the Miami Police Department, but the blatant disregard of her constitutional rights speaks volumes about the selective application and interpretation of religious freedoms, justice, and peace in the United States. The politicisation of the hijab, and the police methods of reinforcing capitalist notions of political, cultural, and social repression, are deeply rooted in the modern state. Iranian artist Shirin Neshat says, “the female body has been politicised and has functioned in a way as a type of battleground for ideological, philosophical and religious debates and agendas.” This incident reflects the institutionalisation of islamophobia, a form of oppression and victimisation shared by the lived experiences of Black and Muslim Amer-

Policing Communities: Not a Natural Phenomena Historically, the police have existed to protect the property of businesses, the needs of the elite, and to control immigrant workers. Philosophers and sociologists have traced the origins of the modern police system to the late eighteenth century, where British ministers began to advocate a centralised police force to “maintain order”. This police force was funded by wealthy merchants to prevent theft on the commercial docks of London, laying the foundations of a system essentially designed to behave as another arm of the military. In the United States, ‘slave patrols’ and ‘night watches’, which later became police departments, were established in urban communities to, “control the riots and disrupt street culture of the immigrant poor, to protect the property of the middle class.” Gary Potter writes that, “...slave patrols had three primary functions: 1) to chase down, apprehend, and to return to their owners, runaway slaves; 2) to provide a form of organised terror to deter slave revolts; and 3) to maintain a form of discipline for slave-workers who were subject to summary justice outside of the law…”. The idea that the police symbolise a form of ‘organised terror’ is significant, as the system was born out of a desire to shift attention away from crimes committed by bosses and landlords to those committed by oppressed and targeted POC communities.

Dismantle, Defund, Divest In the words of Franz Fanon: “it is now no longer a question about knowing our world, but transforming it.” It is up to the people to envision a more just, peaceful world. The absence of a police system leads to an increase in community support, building a collective movement of trust and confidence in the maintenance of justice and peace.

The movement to defund the police is now gaining unprecedented support globally. State and local governments in the United States spend more than $100 billion on policing (mostly BIPOC and Latinx/ Hispanic) communities. Activists and academics, both in the United States and the wider community, have advocated for a democratic community, reducing and reallocating the significant police budget increases to radically transform society as we know it. This would involve funding alternative programs such as nonviolent interventions, social work, conflict resolution, mental health, and public health services, and programs that aim to tackle issues like homelessness, poverty, and education in a pragmatic way. These would exist in place of the current punitive measures that do little to address the structural inequalities present in society — restoration, rather than retribution. When the police unveiled Alaa Massri, they unveiled the contradictions that lay at the heart of this system of control and domination. Instances like this, paired with the use of unreasonable force and brutality as a means of muzzling political dissent, have showcased the necessity of our communities to join forces, stand in solidarity with the oppressed, and take proactive measures to lobby our governments for reform. Our role in the struggle for justice and for peace is to proactively seek strategies that restore the power into the people. By disempowering the police, we will be able to uplift marginalised voices and take control of our own narratives. As a collective, we must do all in our power to outwardly oppose police violence and brutality, replacing the fragmented essences of capitalism and racism with a more holistic and equitable distribution of wealth and resources amongst the masses.

NON-FICTION

On 10 June, eighteen-year-old Alaa Massri was arrested for partaking in the BLM protests in Miami. Alaa had been providing medical aid to protestors participating in the march. After asking the police officers not to touch her, Alaa attempted to walk away but was aggressively stopped by a swarm of officers. Upon her arrest, the officers removed her hijab (a religious head covering worn by adherents of the Muslim faith) against her will. This image was then broadcasted on national television and distributed to multiple news outlets, effectively violating her personhood, safety, and dignity. Alaa’s lawyer, Khurram Wahid, also went on to state that her booking photo had been taken without her hijab, and that the officers did not allow Alaa to put her hijab back on for the remainder of the seven hours she stayed incarcerated.

icans at the hands of a racist, authoritative police force. Alaa’s lawyers and the Muslim community have expressed their outrage over the blatant denial of her religious identity. By turning a blind eye to the veil that connects her to her faith, the Miami Police Department reacted only on their perception of a Muslim woman within a racialised hierarchy — not to her humanity.

We need to imagine a society that is free from prejudice, bias, hate, and hostility. We need to imagine a society in which we no longer fear (mostly) white men in uniform, policing our identities and bodies. We must imagine this, because we have the power to create it. The power is not in the police, or the system designed to silence our voices, but in the people.

Amara Khan is a fifth year Law and Communications student. Find more on Instagram and Twitter @amarakkhan

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FICTION Evlin DuBose is a third year Media Arts & Production and Creative Writing student. Find more on Instagram @evlin.dubose

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SHOWCASE Caroline Huang is a second year Animation student. Find more on Instagram @daily_crispy

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SA AD The UTSSA runs Bluebird brekkie and Night Owl noodles right in the heart of UTS.

Photographer: FJ Gaylor

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Photography by Sohan Judge @sohanjudge Modelled by @akshayab, @currymunchingwomansplaining, @guru gayatri, @tasmiah_a, @halal_b4by, @twotplist

SHOWCASE Raveena Grover is a graduated Communications student. Find more on Instagram @raveenagrvr

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crumbs by Alice Winn 112

Sometimes I stare at him as he continues to speak, and I think... “Aren’t you being too mean?” Day breaks again and again — but seems false, illusive once more.

Is it melodramatic to claim that my soul is malnourished? Not my heart that still beats in naivety, no. But my spirit losing its passion and perseverance. No longer wild with fantasy but tamed with harsh lessons to keep it from whimsical dreams. Is it wrong to wish I had just bled out? Then, I could be reborn instead of being weak enough to have fallen but strong enough to keep going. The plain discomfort of being bent but not broken.

That is my shortcoming. Never my downfall. His inherent goodness was the worst part. There was no malice — maybe just selfishness. Maybe I too was indulgent. Still… I would rather be the victim than the collateral damage. Crooks I can kick to the curb, but his sweet, blissfully, unaware self compelled me to assume my role.

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The myrrh-like essence he burnt in my room, in the car, on my clothes, I am yet to forget completely.

I knew I had to sever it... but lacking a knife, I regressed to mere tooth and nail.

Here I am again. Day breaks. Attempt ##. “One more time.” Ruined like burnt pastries. Not incinerated. But slowly scorched. Once again, I play with the ashes. Waiting for renaissance.

And I swear my knuckles turned white from holding on. But the rope did not vanish. It did not snap. It just wrenched ‘round my ribs more mercilessly than before.

Alice Winn is a third year Civil Engineering and Arts student. Find more on Instagram @its.eiei

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SHOWCASE 8 pt on 11 pt Leading Untitled Sans Regular Italic Right Aligned to right margin, sits on same base line as folio Tristan Miller is a second year Can Visual make as Communication tall or long as you student. wish Find more on Instagram @tristan_miller

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Content Warning: Mental Illness, Injury

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Underneath by Katherine Rajwar

We grew; we changed; for, of course, we are animals. We are not always aware by any means; we breathe, eat, sleep automatically. We exist not only separately but in undifferentiated blobs of matter. Virginia Woolf, The Waves

To Woolf, we are simply amorphous beings, floating through life. If that doesn’t cause some kind of existential spiral, maybe I should try harder. For Foucault, the body is something quite different — a construct of the specific power regimes of its environment. And for Judith Butler, the body is forced into obedience under the shackles of hegemony. Trimmed to size, to fit the mould, to adhere to the standard. Perhaps this is why we self-inflict such undue pain.

I often tell people I have a high pain tolerance. It’s true, I suppose; I’ve subjected this skin to every type of modern torture I can think of. Ripping hair out with hot wax? Check. Wisdom teeth extraction, dental crunching in my skull, so I can attain the perfect, braceless smile? Check. I’ve exfoliated my skin raw to erase my stretch marks, emerging pink and inflamed, hurriedly bathing in coconut oil until I smell slightly akin to a piña colada. Have you ever tried firing red hot lasers at your nethers? You’ll leave feeling like a prepubescent child, and for only $64.99 you can get the added bonus of having your behind zapped too!

For years, I’ve conflated my worth with my appearance. Not an uncommon fallacy by any means, but with no one to see me, no one to appease, I felt a strange release. Suppose my body was a piece of exquisite machinery. Suppose it was not built to be admired. Simply a functional, living, breathing being. Legs, stout but strong, carry me where I need to go. My body hair, while wild, yes, also keeps me warm. Suddenly, a simple act like going out feels significant. Live wires dance under my skin, my receptors acutely aware of the sun and her flaming rays. My eyes adjust and focus on objects near and far. My mind gives me the capacity to feel.

NON-FICTION

Society tells us this isn’t punishment, this is self-care. For if I were to grow out my body hair, and leave my teeth crooked, and fail to eradicate every pimple and blackhead, I would be ‘letting myself go’. The body must obey. All hail Big Beauty.

Recently, like many during lockdown, I found myself alone and holed up in my childhood bedroom. I immersed myself in books and binged Netflix shows, but no amount of numbing could distract from the fact that I was trapped in my own head. Though strange, this time alone forced me to step out of my mind, and for the first time, truly into my own body. Suddenly, all of my rituals of ‘self care’ came crumbling down. Deodorant seemed obsolete if I didn’t have to smell good for anyone. I grew out my leg hair and learned to live with the coarse, black foliage. I walked around in my underwear a lot, reckoning with the body that gazed back at me in the mirror. I became a Yoga with Adriene workout convert, and moved for the first time not to lose weight or attain a specific body type, but to simply move.

My scars no longer bother me as much. For years, I had furiously rubbed oils and creams to fade the lightning rods which adorn my hips. Now, I am trying to wear them proudly. And I want to undress further. What is under the thick woolen layers of the politics of my body? What is under the markers of gender I have been given?

Who am I, without my histories?

Katherine Rajwar is a third year Journalism student. Find more on Instagram @katherine.u_ 129

Content Warning: Nudity

Form s to Form 130

by M ea

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rook Ow wb do

o malism

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SHOWCASE Meadowbrook Ow is a graduated Photography student. Find more at www.meadowbrookow.com 135

SMOO THIES 101 An Ultimate Guide by Karishama Singh

While smoothies have become a bit of a trend within the last few years, there’s no denying that they’ve got a ton of nutritional value! Smoothies are an easy way to make your body feel good and nourished from the inside, and sneaking in a few extra servings of fruit and veg into your diet has never been easier.

136 Illustrations by Rachel Lee. Find more on Instagram @r_chel.pdf

If you haven’t gotten into the smoothie game before, you might be a bit skeptical, but trust us: these smoothies don’t compromise on taste! Better yet, once you’ve mastered the basics, you’ve opened yourself up to a whole new world of smoothies. You’re free to create a plethora of delicious drinks by simply switching out a few ingredients here and there. If you’re already a bit of a smoothie connoisseur, hopefully these recipes give you an idea on how to elevate and switch up your smoothie game. Don’t hold back — try new and random combinations of flavours, and happy smoothie making!

BASE RECIPE

serves one

This is the simple combination of ingredients that builds a perfect foundation for these recipes. Feel free to modify this base recipe, based on the consistency that you prefer for your smoothies, your favoured choice of greens, or add in some other ingredients! 1 banana ⅓ cup of your preferred milk ½ cup of spinach

RECIPE 2 TROPICAL

1 banana ⅓ cup of coconut water ½ cup of spinach ¼ cup of frozen mango ¼ cup of frozen pineapple

CHOCOLATE 1 banana ⅓ cup of any milk (preferably oat milk) ½ cup of spinach 3 pitted dates 1 tablespoon of cocoa powder

OFFHAND

RECIPE 1

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RECIPE 3

RECIPE 4 YUMMY LAXATIVE

KARISHAMA SINGH

1 banana ⅓ cup of any milk ½ cup of spinach ¼ cup of frozen blueberries 1 tablespoon of chia seeds or flax seeds (start with 1 teaspoon if this is your first time having chia seeds or flax seeds) 1 pitted date ⅓ cup of greek yogurt (optional)

GREEN TEA 1 banana ⅓ cup of any milk ½ cup of spinach 2 tablespoons green tea/matcha powder

TAKE YOUR SMOOTHIE TO THE NEXT LEVEL If you find that you’ve got more time on your hands, try making a smoothie bowl. Simply add less milk and/or use frozen fruit to thicken the consistency of the smoothie. Then, indulge your creative side and decorate your smoothie bowl! Arrange fruit, coconut shreds, sliced almonds, chia seeds, rolled oats, turmeric, cinnamon powder, or whatever else your heart desires, on the top. If you’re feeling tired of your usual store-bought granola, switch things up by making your own chocolate granola instead!

HELPFUL TIP Cut your fruit into small pieces before freezing so they blend easier !

Karishama Singh is a third year Engineering and Business student.

138 Find more on Instagram @karishamasingh

CHOCOLATE GRANOLA* Ingredients: 200g rolled oats 100g buckwheat 50g sunflower seeds 150g chopped almonds 30g pumpkin seeds 20g raw cacao 5 tablespoons of maple syrup or honey 2 tablespoons of coconut oil (melted) Procedure: Preheat oven at 180˚C. Mix all dry ingredients together, then add maple syrup and coconut oil. Spread over an oven proof tray. Bake for 15-20 minutes. Check it every 5-10 minutes and stir to avoid burning.

Recipe taken from Living The Healthy Choice http://livingthehealthychoice.com/de/chocolate-granola/

Canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t keep up?

SA AD Make your academic life easier with our Peer Tutoring program.

Photographer: FJ Gaylor

Enquire Now UTS Tower Building, Level 3, Room 22 | (02) 9514 1155 utsstudentsassociation.org.au/peertutoring

Saint Galvanism’s Transcend ence

AUTHOR NAME

by Bryan Lim

“Earlier in the song I used the term “galvanistic,” and galvanism is the concept, uh, the obsolete scientific theory that there is a kind of electricity flowing through our bloodstreams, and that was our life force. I used the term because I came across it in Mary Shelley’s “Frankenstein”, and that book is sort of an exploration of the theme of creating a character or making up a person. So I used the term “galvanistic” to allude to that book as a sort of symbol of how I, like, created you as a character, by pretending that I know a lot more about you than I actually do, and also to refer to the fact that I’ve fall—fallen in love with the characters you’ve created in, uh, your body of work” – Extract from “Nervous Young Inhumans” by Car Seat Headrest (2011) I want to think that I “Frankenstein-ed” this character, and now its existence has captured something above my bounded reality. You can see it in his eyes. Saint Galvanism has comprehended beyond my comprehension — whatever that is — and I’m happy for him. 140 Illustrations by blahblaj

SHOWCASE Bryan Lim is a second year Product Design student. Find more on Instagram @byneart

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OFFHAND

TIPS A LL DE RS!

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Content Warning: Mental Illness, Blood, Terminal Illness, Sexual Assault

Palms burn from the trolley, wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t cool off until theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re clean.

Scrubbing, rubbing raw, cracking knuckles in the cold.

That twinge was surely cancer.

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But your actual diagnosis is a distrust of the body.

A brain that buzzes until decontamination.

Mind that murmurs,

OFFHAND

“You can’t handle it...”

But did you know that your every cell is replaced every seven years?

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Regrown, remade, healed without asking.

EVLIN DUBOSE & ELBY CHAI

The body they touched seven years ago isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t the body you have now.

And in all that time, your liver cleaned up after every rough night, and your heart kept beating through every worst day.

And even though you might be anaemic

152 Written by Evlin DuBose; illustrations by Elby Chai.

your little hemoglobins have iron,

Spill sugar

and iron can only be forged in the hearts of dying stars.

So you are,

OFFHAND

by all accounts,

more than a mere astral projection.

You are space-worthy.

Veins of stardust.

Evlin DuBose and Elby Chai are members of the Vertigo team. Find more on Instagram @evlin.dubose and @elbowchai 153

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158 Illustrations by Amy Toma. Find more on Instagram @byamytoma

OFFHAND Rachel Lee is a third year Visual Communication and Creative Intelligence & Innovation student. Find more on Instagram @r_chel.pdf 159

HOROSCOPES ARIES

GEMINI

Promise not to yell at me when I say this, but not everything has to be a competition. Whether it be learning “PARKOUR!” or getting the longest road in Catan — your competitive spirit is getting in the way of your friendships.

Zoo-wee-mama! Your ruling plane Mercury, goes retrograde this mon Self-care is key to unlocking th new chapter of self-discovery an learning for you. Impulse buyin $30 UberEats + $7 delivery fee is acceptable.

TAURUS An upcoming opportunity is calling your name, Taurus. What’s holding you back from going for it? In the words of Ms. Tyra Banks: “I am rooting for you. You read better than half the girls in there, and then you go in here and treat this like a joke.”

CANCER

Ah, McCain (Cancer), you’ve don it again! You’ve decided the baris who served you this morning is th love of your life. Surely this one different? JK...unless?

LEO

Be transparent in how you feel t that special someone. FYI: trans parency is not compatible with JPE file format, and you may need t convert your feelings to PNG.

by IVY CHEUNG 160

et, nth. his nd ng e

to sEG to

You’re always on the go, Sag, but life isn’t always about the big moments. Don’t forget to take a step back and appreciate the little things — like the Facebook group where we all pretend to be ants in an ant colony.

VIRGO

CAPRICORN

virgo, you need a little chef kiss in your life smooch

Hate to break it to you, but you only have, like, two friends. That’s okay though, it’s not a bad thing. You prioritise quality over quantity. Don’t forget that expanding your network has its benefits — just remember that doesn’t mean having 500+ LinkedIn connections.

-rupi kaur

LIBRA This month, small decisions will consume your indecisive self. Don’t let this get in the way of the growth you’ve achieved throughout the year. Love react if you agree. Haha react if you don’t.

SCORPIO Your passion for your work can often put a strain on your relationship. While you thrive as a lone wolf, remember that reaching out is never a bad thing. Just make sure you’re reaching out 1.5 meters away (social distancing guidelines).

AQUARIUS

OFFHAND

ne sta he e is

SAGITTARIUS

Watch out! Your big brain energy means that someone is yet again trying to take advantage of your intelligence. “Can you help me with the tutorial quiz?” really means, “Send me the answers.” Don’t be a pushover, you sweet soul <3

PISCES Your third house will be activated by the retrograde and you will be rebirthed. I don’t know what this means for you exactly... but hopefully, you don’t get rebirthed looking like that CGI Twilight baby.

Ivy Cheung is a third year IT and Creative Intelligence & Innovation student. Find more on Instagram @ivyraffe

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Dear VERTI Content Warning: Mental Health

AUTHOR NAME

I met this guy through work. I’ll call him “Liam”. Liam was a super sweet and charming individual. He was quite popular at work, too. Good banter, intellectually stimulating: we basically connected instantly. Two weeks into our conversation, he invited me to go grab food and hang out (just the two of us). Didn’t mention whether it was a date or not, but it was pretty much ‘date vibes’. As per usual, he was super sweet. Even paid for my food, too! After that, we kept talking until about a week later, we both went to a work party. At the party, we were chilling out and I noticed he was quite flirty, holding my hand and all. But by the end of the night, I found him kissing some other girl (yep...dignity out the window). When I confronted him about it the next day, his response was: “I wanted it to be more than friends, but we’re better off as just friends. I broke up with my girlfriend a few weeks ago, and I couldn’t get my head straight...so, my bad.” I was so mad at myself for not seeing this coming. My question is: what motive do people have to play others like that? Is it satisfaction? Self-confidence? Power play?

We hear you! It’s infuriating when others treat you poorly because they can’t make up their own minds. In the words of the all-knowing nanna: “That was quite unbecoming of him.” But that’s exactly what the behaviour is — all on him! Not sure if it’s harder to hear that the decision to ‘play you’ wasn’t a reflection of your quality as a human being, but we hope it makes things easier, because you sound amazing! You are more than worthy of someone treating you well. People tend to grieve lost relationships differently. For cis, hetero men, a lack of support networks, self-help resources, and shame around showing emotional ‘weakness’ can commonly result in them needing to immediately replace what they lost (according to research from the University of Utrecht). So for Liam, after losing one relationship, he quickly sought to

162 Illustrations by blahblaj

bury that pain with the excitement of another. You guys clearly had a connection, and you both clearly felt that! It’s not on you for trusting a lost person who didn’t deserve it. It’s so okay to feel hurt, or to have a bit of a confidence knock. The reality is likely that he didn’t know what he wanted. He just knew he wanted someone, and you were a fun someone. He was living and enjoying the moment, playing the field, feeling good with you, until he found a ‘better’ option (or just a different option. Ain’t no one actually better than you). And it sounds like, on some level, he did genuinely care. But the betrayal wasn’t about you. He was just going after what he wanted.

That’s a huge dilemma, and I feel your pain. Your question hits particularly hard because we’ve all felt that. There comes a time in everyone’s life where they have to decide on their personal boundaries in regards to their mental health and their family. Often the two dilemmas aren’t as inextricable as they currently are for you, but when everything comes to a head, a decision must be made. And it seems like decision time has finally come along for you. There’s no easy way to soften the blow, because it’s a big one, but moving out on your own is terrifying. There’s a sense of consequence and vulnerability to adulthood that no one can prepare you for, because everyone’s individual journey looks different. You’re already sensing this when you say that everything will be so much harder; you’re not wrong, but we don’t want that to scare you, because fear is not a good enough reason to half-live your life. There are lots of little things to learn about navigating adulthood, but they are all learnable. No one (barring extraordinary circumstances) is incapable of independence. Even mental illness, which can be a serious disability, is not an ultimate bar to prevent someone from autonomy. The only cautionary caveat is that you need to prepare yourself for the beautiful imperfections that come along with living your own life. Discomfort is uncomfortable. Autonomy can be lonely. You will make mistakes and be rejected and have to make sacrifices — because we all do. And there will be a natural grief as one stage of life ends, and another begins. You will grieve for your family. It’s best to make room in your heart now for all the wonderful, big, messy feelings that’ll come with change. We’ve all felt them, and they are completely normal.

SECTION

Perhaps it was for the best that he was honest before things got too serious, because anything more would have been a waste of both of y’all’s precious time. As the late great Queen Maya Angelou decreed: when someone shows you who they really are, believe them the first time. So we’ll believe him and move on! Keep feeling good with other people deserving of you! And if there’s anything to take away from this experience, it’s not that people are inherently untrustworthy, or that you deserved to get played — neither is true! It’s that people can be flighty when they don’t know what they want, and that shouldn’t stop you from going after the things that you want and make you feel good. Practice loving, practice getting to know people: this kind of whole-hearted living is like cardio for the soul. So go for it! You got this.

Should I stay at home where my mental health is impacted but I can do what I love most, like writing and travel, or should I move out where I can find myself, but it’ll be so much harder to do the things I love?

Blah Blah studied Degree. Find more on Platform @handle 163

AUTHOR NAME

Family is important, and vital for showing people how to take care of themselves, but once your family is no longer capable of meeting your needs, it’s a marvelous opportunity to discover how you can meet these needs for yourself. Your situation is particularly common among young people these days, especially after the claustrophobia of lockdown. We youngsters begin to feel restless and more like a prisoner of our home than a resident. It’s also common for those suffering with mental illness to mitigate their symptoms and subjugate themselves for the comfort of others; this is particularly likely, yet toxic, within families. After all, familial approval tends to matter much more in our culture than that of an ordinary friend. This can happen even if your family’s intentions are good, and even if they, by all other accounts, love you dearly. But this mode of living only creates resentment in the long run. If you find yourself trying to hide your symptoms and take care of your family’s comfort before your own, you’re not doing anyone a service — especially yourself. You deserve to heal and get help. You deserve to live authentically. The heartbreaking truth is that this often means stepping outside the bounds of your family.

And there’s no reason you can’t do what you love most moving out on your own! It’ll just take a bit of time. You’ll learn to be creative in a new space with a new schedule, and you’ll save money to do things like travel and explore. There are resources to help you when it comes to providing for yourself, especially at Uni with regards to financial aid and mental health; we recommend reaching out to Student Services and making an appointment with the link provided. It’ll just take time to organize your life. But it’s worth it, because you’re worth it, and you’ll revel in the things you love all the more when you’ve shown yourself that you are worthwhile. You are worthy of healing your mental wounds and having your independence. You are worthy of carving out your own space. Think of it this way: your home is a space you’re used to occupying with your family. It nurtured and protected you for a time, but as you grew older, you started to get bigger and bigger. Eventually, if you don’t leave, you’ll get restless. You’ll find you’re a little too big for that small

“You deserve to live authentically. The heartbreaking truth is that this often means stepping outside the bounds of your family.”

164 Illustrations by blahblaj

RESOURCES Contact the UTS Counselling Services on 9514 1177, or visit the UTS Counselling Services website to find out more and access the extensive online self-help resources.

Out on your own, you’ll find there’s a lot of distance between you and the people you once gave your time. But that distance is an opportunity for creation — not a howling void. You’ll learn to make boundaries within all that

UTS Financial Services https://www.uts.edu.au/current-students/support/ financial-help/financial-assistance-service UTS Accessibility Services https://www.uts.edu.au/current-students/studentswith-accessibility-requirements/accessibilityservice

new space, and how to keep yourself happy, healthy, and moving forward in a way that works for you. You’ll develop new relationships and experiences, and learn what makes you happy and gives your life meaning. No one can decide these boundaries for you. You need to create them for yourself. And the only way you can do that is — you guessed it — on your own. That’s where you discover who you are. And that discovery is beautiful. So good luck, friend, and don’t forget to ask for help along the way, because you are deserving of it. You may be venturing out on your own, but you are not, by any means, alone.

SECTION

space in your family home. You’ll be stifled, and suffocated, and hungry to see what’s outside. So, you decide to leave home, go out into the world — but the world is vast and terrifying. You feel small again. You might even feel like going back to your little family home (cuz maybe it wasn’t that bad, right?). But the longer you stay out in the world, the bigger and bigger you’ll grow, because there’s suddenly so much more room for you to expand your being. So, by the time you come home again, you’ll find you’ve well and truly outgrown your family. Home becomes a pleasant but claustrophobic visit. You’re too big for that little space, because you’ve learned who you are, and how to take care of you. You can only learn this outside of the context of your family.

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, please consider speaking to your local GP, a healthcare professional, or make an appoinment with one of the numbers below: Lifeline — 13 11 14 Beyondblue — 1300 22 4636 Centre for Rural and Remote Mental Health — 02 6363 8444

Love, Verti xx

Have a question for Dear Verti? We want your big questions and your first world problems. If you need a sounding board, the read of your life, a-check-yourself-before-you-wreck-yourself, or some wise words from a friend said over the kitchen table...Dear Verti is the place for you. Think of it as an anonymous advice column where no question is too wild or too stupid. Send in your dilemmas and Verti will try to answer as many as they can online, with the best saved for our print editions.

Blah Blah studied Degree. Find more on Platform @handle 165

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Sunny Adcock Ella Cyreszko Evlin Dubose Esther Hannan-Moon Karishama Singh Amy Toma Sophie Tyrrell Rachel Lee Jennifer Wen Elby Chai

VERTIGO

Editors & Designers

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SUBMIT TO VERTIGO FICTION Short stories, poetry, flash fiction: we’re open to it all!

NON-FICTION We want your pieces about any aspect of life: essays, opinion pieces, memoirs, and campus issues.

AMPLIFY Home to all things music, fashion, arts, and lifestyle. This section showcases individuals in their creative elements, and we’re looking to support the creative scene of UTS and cover events near you.

OFFHAND The weirdly wonderful section that features quizzes, games, satire, playlists, comics, and any other quirky tidbits you’ve got!

SHOWCASE Interested in presenting some visual art you’ve created? We’re always looking for standalone artworks, as well as visuals to feature alongside written pieces. If you’ve got any architecture, fashion, photography, typography, or any other art-related works, we’d love to see them.

COLD SUBMISSIONS Do you have anything old you’d like to submit? Send them to submissions@ utsvertigo.com.au along with a brief summary and the section you would like to be featured in.

PITCHES Have an idea that you’re not quite sure how to finish? Send it over with the following: • Title • What you want to write about • Your style of writing • How long you’d like the piece to be If you have any previous examples of your work, please attach them to your email too! 170

CONTACT US Email us at submissions@utsvertigo. com.au and one of our friendly editors will be in touch. Check facebook.com/ utsvertigo for callouts, and feel free to send any enquiries there too. Vertigo is always looking for new ideas and pitches for fiction and non-fiction, visual art, think pieces, reviews, poetry, and everything in between! Don’t think your piece fits into any of our moulds? Send it over anyway!

SOCIAL MEDIA utsvertigo.com.au Vertigo UTS utsvertigo Vertigo

Passionate about change? Get involved with your UTS Studentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Association.

Photographer: FJ Gaylor

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THANK YOU TO OUR CONTRIBUTORS, WHO HAVE SHOWN US ORDINARY COURAGE IN ALLOWING THEMSELVES AND THEIR STORIES TO BE SEEN. IT IS OUR PRIVILEGE TO AMPLIFY YOUR VOICES.

Evlin DuBose, Amani Mahmoud, Ch’aska Cuba de Reed, Izzie Conti, Nickin Alexander, Alice Winn, Ruben Savariego, Eva Harrington, Bettina Liang, Katherine Rajwar, Suzy Monzer, Amara Khan, Sunny Adcock, Hebah Ali, Ella Cyreszko, Amy Toma

Karishama Singh, Rachel Lee, Ivy Cheung, Elby Chai, Kate Rafferty, Meadowbrook Ow, Bryan Lim, Marissa Vafakos, Merena Nguyen, Caroline Huang, Nina Pirola, Raveena Grover, Josephine Wyburn, Tristan Miller, April Jiang, Mary Elizabeth Tran

FOR SOME OF YOU, THIS IS YOUR FIRST PUBLICATION: AN EXTRA HEARTFELT CONGRATULATIONS FOR TAKING THE LEAP! WE CAN’T WAIT TO SEE WHAT OTHER BOUNDARIES YOU BREAK. COVER ILLUSTRATION BY ZACHARIAH LEE.