Volume 5: Ethereal by UTS Vertigo

MAG

VERTIGO

ELECTION ISSUE

SHOWCASE BY ADELE WARNER

POETRY BY ISABELLA JIANG

ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF COUNTRY

THE UNIVERSITY OF TECHNOLOGY SYDNEY WOULD LIKE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE GADIGAL PEOPLE OF THE EORA NATION AS THE TRADITIONAL CUSTODIANS AND KNOWLEDGE KEEPERS OF THE LAND IN WHICH UTS NOW STANDS AND PAYS RESPECT TO ELDERS PAST, PRESENT, AND EMERGING.

ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF COUNTRY VERTIGO’S PUBLICATION

MAREE GRAHAM DEPUT Y DIRECTOR, STUDENTS, AND COMMUNITY ENGAGEMENT JUMBUNNA INSTITUTE FOR INDIGENOUS EDUCATION & RESEARCH

VERTIGO IS PUBLISHED BY THE UTS STUDENTS’ ASSOCIATION (UTSSA), AND PROUDLY PRINTED BY SOS PRINTING, ALEXANDRIA. THE CONTENTS OF VERTIGO DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT THE OPINION OF THE EDITORS, PRINTERS, OR THE UTSSA. VERTIGO AND ITS ENTIRE CONTENTS ARE PROTECTED BY COPYRIGHT. VERTIGO WILL RETAIN THE RIGHT TO REPUBLISH IN ANY FORMAT. CONTRIBUTORS RETAIN ALL OTHER RIGHTS FOR RESALE AND REPUBLICATION. NO MATERIAL MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE PRIOR WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE COPYRIGHT HOLDERS.

VERTIGO’S PUBLICATION CONTENT WARNING

SOME ARTICLES MAY CONTAIN THEMES OF BLOOD, DEATH, EATING DISORDERS, HOMOPHOBIA, NUDITY, TRANSPOHOBIA, AND WITCHCRAFT.

IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS STRUGGLING WITH AN EATING DISORDER, PLEASE CONSIDER SPEAKING TO YOUR LOCAL GP, A HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONAL, CALLING ONE OF THE NUMBERS OR VISITING THE WEBSITE BELOW. LIFELINE—13 11 14 BUTTERFLY FOUNDATION—1800 33 4673 NATIONAL EATING DISORDER COLLABORATION— WWW.NEDC.COM.AU

CONTENT WARNING

FICTION — AND WHAT ABOUT ANCE PAGE 10

MEMORY BY ISABELLA JIANG — KAD PAGE 17

PAGE 27

ESTHER HANNAN-MOON — THE DEVI PAGE 72

BY STELLA HAYMAN — NON–FICTIO

YUNCKEN, AMANDA HAN, & BRONW

STORY OF THE MODERN WITCH BY

RAJWAR — THANK YOU FOR NOT REPR PAGE 60

CREATURES IN THE DEEP OCEAN TH MOVIE WILL BE BY MELANIE WONG —

A HIGH PRICE TO PAY FOR PERF

PAGE 18

I HAVE FAITH IN YOU BY AISHAH ALI — S

PAGE 83

RIXON— THE BEACH BY TOM ECCLE PAGE 23

BLURRED SOULS BY ROSALIE DESCHE

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JESSE VEGA — UTRIMQUE DUABUS B PAGE 74

SPOOKY STORIES — THE DEFENDERS

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PAGE 86

BY JENNY CAO — PALM READING B PAGE 94

GEORGIE EVANS — HOW TO SUBMIT — PAGE 96

STRAL BLOOD? BY SHARON GAO —

DUPUL BY S.R.B. — SUNFLOWER BY PAGE 36

IL IS A WOMAN (A NOVEL EXTRACT)

ON — DEATH ON MARS BY CHARLES PAGE 20

WYN HALLIS — WITCH PLEASE! THE PAGE 28

Y ELIZABETH GREEN & KATHERINE

RODUCING BY ELLIE CARLESS — FOUR PAGE 66

HAT ARE SCARIER THAN THE NEW 'IT'

AMPLIFY — MIXTAPE BY TOR WILLS — PAGE 08

FECTION BY IMOGEN PEARSON —

SHOWCASE— CREATIVE SERIES’ BY MAX PAGE 13-16, 69-71

ES — UNTITLED BY ADELE WARNER — PAGE 31

ENES-GREGOIRE — EBB AND FLOW BY PAGE 45

BY ADRIANE NESHODA — OFFHAND—

BY RUBINE CUBILES — HOROSCOPES PAGE 92

BY MIKE SPITERI — OUIJA BOARD BY PAGE 95

— CONTRIBUTORS — UTSSA REPORTS PAGE 98

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AKING ITSE M LF KN G, N I OW R E P N. O S HI W A Y A W L O R NEL RD E A W Z O I T NE M E L E L S A S PE BR Y S , H S ARING STOR E A L E A P BE I H ES A O M S E ' E ND S P O E . S R X R T H OUG , HE T E H S H THE F C ET G I D G L D R A RE O O RK. FI G T O R N N I W H G T T E R G STARS UP S N ' I S K B O T S E H O E I E L M A O T R U T Y T N , S M O O E N E E H T P V T IN Y BE IN O ,A O T E L T N TE SS. N I R E VO O H E VO ER H F D LU M TI ON W T M N R E S, TO D D U D I CO H F N UR TH A O D , Y N EU E N I A M W N T R O E R IS H F T . R L U A F E R T HE

, Y L NG I D T L E F V R RI I D F WO E

R-

USPIC L IONS F THAT COME AT NIG E , B S H N T N NG OR FOR A , TH C IO EV ER. STORIES OF C I S A T R E M E PHE ON N THOU E S T GHTS PIR N ON OUTER SPACE ACIES A IF ND CO L TRA F VEL N EARTH, YO U O E AND T R RELATIONS HE F U TUR HIP W , I TH F ITCHCRAF T L T. WE SHARE YOU U AI T H C R SP , T H E OC I R I V T IE L E. GH UAL OU TO BE O ST S IT Y IVE R TORIES D AN AT , L H O A A W G C UT D T IC O NY THING OF R CE L ES T BO IAL . DY EXPERIENC ES

E E T

EDITORSâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;

LETTER Lily Cameron Elizabeth Green Susie Newton Sharen Samson Georgia Wilde CREATIVE DIRECTORS Adriane Neshoda Marissa Vafakos

This semester seems to be racing ahead of us, shooting up through the stratosphere at breakneck speeds to dizzying new heights, pulling us along for the ride. But something is tugging us elsewhere, something not of this world. We want to be floating, weightless, otherworldly. It’s time to delve deep into your psyche or dive down to the depths of the ocean. We want to glimpse behind the curtain and connect to what’s beyond our reach. That is ETHEREAL. In our fifth volume, we take a look beyond the mundane, into the unseen forces at play behind each decision that we make, every turn of the earth and the movement of the stars. We asked our 26 contributors to explore the ‘other’ in science, spirituality, society, and themselves. They crawled out of the darkness with tales of different worlds. Let them take you on a journey to what’s under the surface. ETHEREAL will explore a dimension made of stardust and shadow. Where creatures, unlike those you’ve seen before lurk in the dark; both material and immaterial. Let

Stella Hayman take you on a whirlwind trip around the galaxy on Lucifer’s wings in The Devil is a Woman. Ellie Carless explores the dark corners of the internet where hate spreads under the guise of religion, and highlights how the queer community is still demonised in Thank You For Not Reproducing. Aishah Ali’s I have faith in you finds personal meaning in faith in a world full of malice. We take a trip to another planet in the speculative project Death on Mars, where Charles Yuncken, Amanda Han, and Bronwyn Hallis figure out what to do with a dead body in space. From outer space to the deep blue, Melanie Wong drags us into open water with Four Creatures in the Deep Ocean to inform us of what lies below. We want you to read this under the moonlight, fuelled by a supernatural curiosity for something out of this world. Arm yourself with spells or telescopes, for you may find things you didn’t expect. This volume aims to shine a light into the shadows, to help you see clearly as you wade through murky waters, you may find a home in unknown caverns. Be careful; something wicked this way comes in ETHEREAL.

EDITORS

A MIX TA

E P

MADE YO

E W

TOR WILLS 09

1. SPELLBOUND, SIOUXSIE AND THE BANSHEES 2. STARPOWER, SONIC YOUTH 3. LAZY CALM, COCTEAU TWINS 4. I PUT A SPELL ON YOU, SCREAMIN’ JAY HAWKINS 5. SOUVLAKI SPACE STATION, SLOWDIVE 6. INTO BLACK, BLOUSE 7. A MILLION BILLION STARS, BLACK MARBLE 8. THE KILLING MOON, ECHO & THE BUNNYMEN 9. ALIEN, BEACH HOUSE 10. CALLING OCCUPANTS OF INTERPLANETARY CRAFT, CARPENTERS 11. JÓGA, BJÖRK 12. RHIANNON, FLEETWOOD MAC 13. GOD & MONSTERS, LANA DEL REY 14. RUNNING UP THAT HILL, KATE BUSH 15. STAR ROVING, SLOWDIVE 16. ZOMBIE, THE CRANBERRIES 17. BLACK MAGIC WOMAN, SANTANA 18. SEVEN WONDERS FLEETWOOD MAC

AND WHAT ABOUT ANCESTRAL BLOOD?

I wish I could tell you of the hesitation that lives within me, the way these spirits, and demons, and ghosts, have laid within the ash trails of my blood. I wish I could tell you these stories in the right way—in a way that doesn’t feel truthfully or untruthfully, in a way that allows me to feel okay being the storyteller of the past. I fear I am an imposter and I feel them breathing between the spaces connecting my words. And it calls to question if you want the believer, or the cynic, to tell this story and if I should even be called a storyteller at all, especially as someone who is neither and both. I guess it doesn’t matter in the end. I grew up on a diet of ghost stories strewn across the sticky hot climates of Vietnam and the morbid, sepia beginnings of settlement. I don’t know how to tell this tale without being honest, small, and quiet. This is a feeling, a moment, a haunting that comes from simple words and simple minds and simple faith. I’m finding it hard to tell this right. ~ I drop a pin on my history, smooth out the creases on the map, and try to start here, in this small housing flat in The Rocks before the gentrification came, with the nice marble countertops. I knew this place better with the cramped stairway lit by shifting darkness, the flaking wallpaper with scribbled toddler scrawl, and when there was still glass cabinets filled with lottery ticket origami. I remember my grandma’s threadbare bed, a mismatched cream bed frame and her trusty tiger balm oil always on her bedside table. I don’t even remember if it was my grandma who told me this story or if it was an aunt or a cousin but it remains her story, so I’ll recount it from her paper lips. In my distorted memories she is both: shaky but stable, pale but tan, strong but

weak. She holds me by the wrists and the first ancestral blood spills on the patterned carpet. My grandma tells me of a dream she had of her dead mother. She spoke to me, in Hakka, and then Cantonese, and once in a while would whisper to me in Vietnamese as if I could understand. She spoke to me of a dream where she was just finished with being a mother of 11 and how tired and exhausted and tentative she had been with living her assimilated life. She tells me of sobbing into her mother’s skin when she first met her in the dream. How she had held onto her for dear life and how she missed her with every fibre of her being. I must have been young because I didn’t understand that feeling. Even with time passing, I still can’t understand that grief now. She tells me about how after a tearful reunion, her mother became aggressive, mean and demanding. She’s trembling a little, eyes glazed and wild, when she tells me of her mother pulling her towards a light. How her mother had pushed and pleaded with her to join her and the rest of her ancestors, my ancestors, in the afterlife. My nostrils are filled with that classic mildew scent of a dilapidated apartment when she loosens her grip, murmuring to me that all she could do was cling to a willow tree in desperation to stay in this life. She stands abruptly and gets up to scold me: I am too short and my nose too big. She pulls at my nose, drawing it out as if she can change its structure. She tells me she’s going to make dinner. She never tells me if she regrets not going or if this dream is really just a nightmare. I only found out later that my grandmother had this dream more than once in her life and that each time she found it harder to gather her strength. Only on her fifth night of dreaming, had my great-grandmother relented. I find it hard not to be both chilled and comforted by this knowledge. ~

And what of ancestral blood? And what of the reverence? And the fear? And the hushed tones that drift down hallowed hallways? And what of beginnings that never end and incense sticks that leave smoky burns on your yellow skin?

SHARON GAO

CW: BLOOD, DEATH

During an unseasonably warm Australian afternoon, I’m at the dining table with my uncle alone and this is when the second story comes to visit. The rest of my family had drifted off to go home to sleep and rest before the nighttime feasts where to begin. My uncle, with a gleaming eye, asks if I want to know a secret. Of course I did. He decides to tell me the story of my “unknown dead cousin”—the one who never made it out of Vietnam. With a casual candor, he cracks sunflower seeds between his teeth and begins. He tells me about how the boat felt, how my cousin (he gives me no name) had become violently seasick and in a rush to quarantine the rest of the passengers, the crew had thrown him overboard. Pulling a nail clipper from his khaki shirt pocket, he glances at my shocked nine-year-old face and scoffs at me. “The body was dead before they threw it over, it’s not that bad. You’re taking this too seriously.” Unwrapping the plastic around the metal bowl, he pulls out a sliver of pandan jelly, not once pausing his tale to let me catch up and translate. He too, like my Grandma, had a tendency to speak in five languages. At least he spoke English. Chewing down on his fourth piece of jelly, he tells me about how the boat had travelled quite a while at the sea and that once they had made it to port, right there at the stern was my dead cousin’s body drifting right behind, as if he had followed our family across the sea. Moving sluggishly, he begins to sink into the couch and sleep takes over him while I continue to translate Hakka, Viet, Cantonese and Mandarin words in my head. I must be translating wrong. ~ I spilt blood. I did. Specifically in 2017. There’s a reason why the Chinese don’t travel to Japan. My grandpa in Guangzhou with his northern accent did not greet me when I came back from Japan. He did not ask about my travels, my health, or if I had eaten anything. He first asked, “why did you anger your ancestors?” and second, “did you pray in any temples?”

I didn’t understand. We were not religious, nor spiritual, this was my dad’s side of the family for god’s sake, not my mother’s. They didn’t have household shrines, incense sticks, or a collection of ghost stories sure to send shivers down your spine. They had a history of handmade dumplings and Mainland Chinese nationalism stamped into their bones. Nothing else. But they still believed in ancestral blood and I must have spilt it because I came back to Sydney afflicted by sudden and inexplicable ailments. My mother, taking on her familial superstitions, rushed to bathe me in incense and took me to temple to pray to Guanyin, and the small shrine in my grandma’s new housing flat in Glebe. They offered yellow grapefruit, durian, and an assembly of cooked meats to the altar while a photo of my dead grandpa blinked owlishly at me. Even in this new housing flat that did away with the cramped stairway and peeling wallpaper, they must have not been attached to place. They had travelled to Glebe attached to my grandma’s cream headboard, the tiger balm oil, and her collection of silk shirts. They had migrated with us to Glebe attached to that same dingy couch my uncle had loved to nap on and that clump of silver metal bowls. And as 2017 passed and we moved into the new years of 2018 and 2019, they still liked to come for me. They linger every Christmas and every Chinese New Year and every anniversary of my Agung. Every time, without fail, one would slip away and ride in the backseat with us all the way home. ~ And what about ancestral blood? I’m haunted by this possibility, of this connection so tremulous at times it feels that I must have dreamt it up. A watchful gaze consumes the spaces between my words and they call on me to remember tradition and reiterate to never speak ill of the dead. They tell me as ethereal and judgemental beings that this redness that flows through me, once flowed through them and I can do nothing to untangle this string of history and memory so instilled in my family’s sunken bodies. And so they stop my writing, peer through train lit windows and ask me... s o what about ancestral blood?

MAX RIXON

ILLUSTRATIVE SERIES

MAX RIXON

ILLUSTRATIVE SERIES

the dead space in the echo chamber of my lungs/ always there/ secret sepulchre. Some girlish blessing we whisper fervent & aching to each other in the humid summer nights. sleepless and feverish we laugh&laugh&laugh...

ISABELLA JIANG

we were in such a hurry / rushing through the days. dandelions burning through their lives / seed sprout flower blow through the paperweight hearts leave behind the empty crown. emptyemptyempty crown each of us wears. circlet of holy hands / A circlet of witches waiting to burn. In my dreams we are still running and when i look behind us there is only a haze. there is a man that calls himself divine. there is a black & white bird In his hand. I miss the summer / a sickly longing that turns me into a bellow pump of sun & distance. a mouse heartbeat frantic & wild. but oh, oh. we have already run so far. we have so far left.

MEMORY

I turn - magpie with jealousy. The pick pick at everything shiny. & the greed the greed! Working like a worm under my feathers / a spiral that pulls your mind under & under

A HIGH PRICE TO PAY FOR PERFECTIONISM

In Australia, eating disorders affect around 16% of the population. According to a clinical study published by the International Journal of Eating Disorders in March 2019, perfectionism is a high risk factor for those diagnosed with anorexia and bulimia nervosa. The study compared over 3,500 female participants and found that a large portion of those with eating disorders exhibited high levels of ‘maladaptive perfectionism’.

tendencies…all seem to make people more susceptible to developing an eating disorder...” “Genes load the gun and the environment pulls the trigger.” The ‘environment’ Costin refers to is the society in which we live, one which is preoccupied with the unrealistic ‘thin ideal’.

IMOGEN PEARSON

CW: EATING DISORDERS

‘Maladaptive perfectionism’ is a psychological term loosely defined as a personality trait in which individuals pressure themselves to achieve unattainable standards. This trait is characterised by personality factors such as self-doubt, low self-esteem, public self-consciousness, avoidance, negative emotions, and a pervasive need to have control.

The signs and symptoms of eating disorders are commonly known, and include food restriction, excessive exercise, vomiting and regurgitating food, and the use of laxatives. So why does perfectionism present more in women with eating disorders than in any other group? According to Carolyn Costin, author of 8 Keys to Recovery from an Eating Disorder, the answer is threefold; there is a gun, bullet, and a trigger: “What is known is that having certain genetic temperament traits such as anxiety, perfectionism, [and] obsessive-compulsive

Out of this world - a cognitive behavioural model of clinical perfectionism Source: Dr. Radha Kothari

Around 20% of women diagnosed with anorexia nervosa will die from their illness, more than five times the mortality rate in the general population. Studies have also linked perfectionism to chronic stress and heart disease, and have even found that people with perfectionism have a higher rate of mortality than those without it. It appears that the cost of attaining ‘perfection’ for women with eating disorders can mean death. If you, or anyone you know, is struggling with an eating disorder, please contact the Butterfly Foundation on 1800 33 4673.

Though not recognised as a disease or standalone disorder, perfectionism has been linked to a range of other mental illnesses outside of anorexia and bulimia nervosa, such as body dysmorphic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, substance abuse disorder, clinical depression, and anxiety.

DEATH MARS

Tombstones, burial clothing, caskets, urns for ashes, and other materials have been used throughout history to memorialise our loved ones. We envision that as future technologies become more immersed in our everyday lives, so too will their capability to memorialise people. Sometimes this is intentional and sometimes not; for example, the social media accounts of those who have died often cause people much discomfort. Given this context, we intentionally and thoughtfully created a memorial design that used advanced synthetic biology approaches. We considered how our design could strengthen the cultural practice of mourning on Mars, given that any new Martian colony would begin to develop its own new rituals and cultures.

AMANDA HAN

In our speculative project, we envision that given the highly utilitarian systems that would be needed to sustainably produce food on a human settlement on Mars, corpses would need to be recycled for their nutritional value in a Corpse Compost System (CCS). We saw this as a very un-empathic system, as it implies that nutrition is the primary thing our loved ones would pass on to us once they die. Our human nature sentimentally connects us to our loved ones, who continue to play a vital role in societies even after their death. Their stories and memories contribute to our collective identities, and the practices surrounding their deaths are reflective of the cultures and environments in which we exist.

BRONWYN HALLIS

Synthetic biology will be a crucial component of humanityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s future in space, not only because it could allow enhancing humans for longer-term colonisation efforts in space, but also because it has the potential to make non-Earth locations more suitable for sustainable habitation. For example, crops could be designed to be better-suited to grow on Mars , instead of depending on shipping food from Earth. Using the speculative design context of humans living on Mars in 2130, this project, Death on Mars, explores how synthetic biology can be integrated into intensely human experiences, such as death and grief.

The creators of this project, Charles Yuncken, Amanda Han, and Bronwyn Hallis, are not scientists. They are an interdisciplinary team of designers from UTS who created this project in the BioDesign Challenge class. As synthetic biology becomes more common in industries and our lives, it becomes important to include non-scientists in the conversations that arise from consciously engineering with biology. They were selected from the class to represent UTS at the 2019 BioDesign Challenge in New York. They were awarded the prize for Outstanding Presentation at MoMA. The team was mentored supervised by Jestin George, Briardo Llorente, and Mark Liu.

CHARLES YUNCKEN

We hence designed the Memorial Plant, a plant to perpetuate the memories of our deceased loved ones. The process of developing the Memorial Plant starts by corroborating the memory of the deceased person, collecting and documenting it as digital data made up of the binary code:1s and 0s. We envision that these Martian humans would collect things such as photos and videos, audio clips of stories, and favorite songs. Using an algorithm, the data from the memory—for example, a song—is converted from digital binary data to biological data of DNA molecules, denoted as As, Ts, Gs and Cs. . These ‘memory genes’ would be synthesized and assembled into a synthetic chromosome to be transformed into plant protoplasts. Each transformed protoplast is then regenerated into an entirely new plant— a Memorial Plant—a living vessel for the memory of deceased Martian humans. The synthetic chromosome would be designed so that the synthetic memory genes would operate without interfering with the plant’s biological functions. The memory genes do not code for proteins and do not share sequence identity with any native plant gene. Memory genes are also designed to be under the control of plant promoters,turned on and off by changes to the environment. For example, by using a water-responsive promoter to control gene expression, many RNA copies of the memory gene can be produced when the plant is watered. Finally, using an RNA sequencing device that is connected to the plant and reads RNA in real time, the grieving Martian can retrieve the memories encoded in the synthetic chromosome by pairing their electronic devices to the RNA sequencer. Martians can care for the memory of their deceased loved one by watering the plant, fertilizing the soil, or turning on a warm light. This allows Martians to retrieve the memories of their deceased loved ones through interacting with the Memorial Plant, which functions as the living memory for deceased loved ones. The memories are literally living on inside the Memorial Plant. Consequently, natural processes of life cause the degradation of the memories over time. Just as our memories change and fade without conscious control, the Memorial Plant allows humans to connect with the realities of grief, death, and memory. If a Memorial Plant dies, it symbolizes the natural processes of life and death. However, Martians could choose to replant a seed, or could undertake the process of generating a new plant from the initial starting point. If synthetic biology is going to have a serious impact on societies, we need to consider its use beyond just practical concerns associated with survival. With this project, we are trying to see how synthetic biology can positively assist intensely human experiences such as grief and memory. As synthetic biology is becoming more and more prevalent, it is extremely important that non-scientists are brought into the conversation. Currently, the conversations surrounding synthetic biology are very dichotomous. Most people see it as either good or evil. We believe that projects like this one can help to push the conversation into the more nuanced areas that are required by complex discussions, such as engineering biology. Speculative design contexts—like Mars in 2130—allow us the freedom to innovate without running into the usual creative barriers that emerge when trying to solve earthly problems. The context of a speculative culture on Mars gives individuals the freedom to engage with the broader concepts of these complex cultural and social issues. Alternative death practices are becoming increasingly relevant in contemporary societies, especially in urban areas where current burial and crematorium practices are becoming unsustainable.

TOM TOMECCLES ECCLES

THE BEACH

TOM ECCLES

THE BEACH

S.R.B

Those sweetful oaths we swore Were built on youthful summers And though fleeting, Still are forever Golden globes of my treasures Which I bottle to age And reopen with pleasure In those nights, Yes those nights Where all have gone to bed And you come forth, Opening like an Epiphyllum Inside the heart You carved from this frigid flesh Of mine. I drink deep the spirits, Then all at once, In shallow breathy sips, savouring The perfume of it… sinks – Permeates your lost scent Inside and out around The lone person who Hypnos cannot spirit away To his hateful kingdom. The Oxycanus passes over head And the sun is a rude glare Amongst the calm hue Of the early hours. They will be waking soon, But now it is my time of rest. Soon– Soon, so soon. Will I fly back to you On these crow wings, Stitched together in exchange for My warm mortality?

KADUPUL

You may have flown away, And with these human fingers I could not catch you Properly; Slipping, slipping, oh You slipped away so easily.

WITCH, PLEASE! THE STORY OF THE MODERN WITCH

Vertigo takes a look at the witches of yesteryear and modernity with help from our witch on speed dial, Tim Hartridge from WitchWorkshop (Newtown’s very own school of witchcraft). Over the phone, Tim is more of an Aussie battler rather than someone who’d hex you, but after decades spent on his craft, the previous ‘Witch of North Adelaide’ knows a thing or two about witches. “Witchcraft is a melting pot of people who are looking for spirituality that reflects their values,” Tim tells me when I ask if anyone can be a witch. Thankfully it’s not just for those with uncanny magical abilities, but rather, is for anyone who is open to a different form of spirituality. “I think the interest and popularity in witchcraft at the moment is filling a gap, a spiritual gap. But it’s not a gap that can be filled by ordinary religion…you’re not labelled as a sinner. Most Christians already have a problem by the time they’re born! They’re born with the original sin as a part of their doctrine. Pagans and witches don’t have that,” Tim says. Witchcraft is not all about spellcasting, a form of witchcraft known as low magick which focuses on the material world. Tim tells me that witches also turn their craft internally, trying to better themselves and their outlook on the world through high magick, which include various spiritual processes.

ELIZABETH GREEN

Ladies! Pick up your broomsticks; things are about to get witchy.

KATHERINE RAJWAR

CW: WITCHCRAFT

“Witches don’t put authority in the gods; we are responsible for our lives.” But just what is a witch? Consider the stereotype: a woman who casts enchantments and brews potions, either inducing eye rolls or appealing to your inner crystal loving ‘new age’ aunty. Witchcraft, often dismissed as a figment of fantasy novels with too much Hocus Pocus, is taking on a new form and gaining new power in 2019. The witch of today is not just about magic; she’s a powerful woman. The figure of the witch has always been a terror to the patriarchy— even in the age of #notallmen. She’s too independent, too intelligent, too cultivated, too sexy, too much!

But witches have only recently become a rallying cry for women. Femininity has always been connected to

“The witch and witchcraft are fundamentally heretic [sic]. They want to break outside of the restrictions that are imposed on them by belief systems. If you think of any of the popular images of the witch, they’re usually women who have a mind of their own,” Tim says.

the practice of witchcraft, making this an accessible tool for the oppression of women. The plague of witch trials in Europe and Colonial North America in the 1600s saw tens of thousands of women (and some men) executed on the basis of witchcraft. The grounds of this persecution, such as in the Salem Witch Trials of the 1690s, were that these women didn’t fit the mould of society, they were different or spoke out. Accusers pit woman against woman, in a sadistic merry-go-round of allegations over who didn’t adhere to societal standards of femininity. Tim agrees that the patriarchal belief system tore power away from women, and subjected them to oppressive standards, “They were great herbalists, midwives, and they cultivated agriculture…a lot of that power was attempted to be ripped away by patriarchal religion in the West. They didn’t want women being healers or being in charge. The persecution of witches was the persecution of women.” Joan of Arc, now hailed as a saint, was burnt as a witch. The canonical French figurehead and overall power woman was executed at only 19 years of age for crimes including dressing like a man, heresy, and witchcraft. Perhaps, as many historians and feminists believe today, Joan may have been persecuted because it was utterly incomprehensible that a teenage girl could save France. Flash forward to today, the success of Netflix’s Chilling Adventures of Sabrina has paralleled the rise of the ‘nasty woman,’ with witch-ery becoming a symbol of feminine power and resistance for many women. It’s almost impossible not to account for the rise of the witch as a product of the Trump, Abbott, Johnson dream team brewing up trouble for women worldwide. Witchcraft has historically been linked to nonconforming social standards, promiscuity, and antiestablishment values, and has stuck with the female empowerment movement of today. Tim knows all about the connection between feminism and witchcraft. “We’re claiming back the power basically. The image of the witch is fundamentally feminine. I see parallels in politics, particularly in the #metoo movement, where so many women have come out saying that they are drawing a line in the sand.” While you may doubt the legitimacy of modern magic, it’s hard to doubt the rise of the witch as a feminist figure, a reflection of the power harnessed by the force of strong women in a world of deep injustice. All that’s left is to find a coven of your own.

SUN

Sunflowers littered the lake’s pristine bank. Every year on the first day of spring, Father and I lead our village down to the water’s edge, cradling wooden bowls brimming with the newly bloomed flowers. Their petals catch the wind and follow us down the worn stone path. Sleek and smooth, the rocks under our feet are worn from almost two decades of sunflower processions. My father leads the way, dressed in a tuxedo, his shoes gleaming like wet stones. As the leader of the procession he is to carry the bouquet of sunflowers to the water. I follow next, the only child. The white tulle of my dress dances, a meringue shape billowing around me. There are embroidered fish swimming between stitched flowers along the length of the dress. As the years passed more fabric had to be sewn onto the gown, the dress as much a part of the procession as the sunflowers. The muffled breathing of the citizens behind me and the birds tuning their song to the rhythms of the morning are the only sounds to break through the quiet of the forest. I stare at my father’s back as he drops below the crest of the hill, trees engulfing his broad figure. His back has developed a slight hunch and he tends to favour his left leg these days. His lumbering steps halt.

ESTHER HANNAN-MOON

FLOWERS

I have heard travellers describe my village as quaint. Houses glow like bonfires as the sun hits the red brick and our elderly citizens sit outside on chairs, unable to make the journey down to the lake. Instead they are content to welcome us back with their comforting smiles. Noise blossoms from the crowd as we return. My father nods acknowledgements as we meander past the houses and up the hill on the way to our home. “Today went well. What do you think?” My father says nothing. I continue in silence to follow him as he unlocks the door and disappears into the gloom of our house. The chair moans as he heaves his body into the worn fabric. As tradition follows, my father doesn’t say a word to me and won’t for almost a week.

The lake swells out beyond the pebbled shore, the curve of the bank on the other side only just visible. The water ripples as the breeze brushes it, cheek to cheek as I wait at the forest’s edge. My father stands alone, wading in up to his knees. He is whispering to the sunflowers, praying to them. The bouquet is dropped and the lake shudders. I approach the shore with weighted feet—the sunflowers spill out of the bowl and land with a quiet splash into the lake. I stand on the shore, waiting for the rest of the village to do the same. The procession joins my me and my father in the water with the yellow sunflowers blanketing the lake around us. Then we leave, without disturbing a soul in the forest.

At ten when I was allowed to walk by myself in the procession I dropped my bowl. The clunk resonated through the forest and the sound of footsteps walking in unison vanished. My stomach churned as I looked through dripping wet fingers at my father. My heart was soaring for fear of being scolded, but also in delight. He would see me and notice…but he didn’t. “I’m so sorry. I can pick them up!” I said. Instead of stopping to acknowledge my mistake he kept walking and, as was tradition, so did the procession. I was the last in the water to deliver my sunflowers that day. I didn’t get to hear the muffled murmurs of the message my father delivered to the sunflowers. I turn away and sit down in the chair on the other side of the house. If I crane my neck enough I can spy a slither of the lake behind the forest. Aria… The breeze has my name on its lips. It kisses my ear and breathes my name once more as it flutters through the house. Aria…I’m ready. Come and see. I jolt out of the chair and slam the window closed. My father only flinches at the abruptness of my movements. “Father did you hear that?” He continues his muttering. Words: please, home, and love, scuttle out from between his lips. I’ve heard them many times before. “Please, I heard a voice. It was…Father what are you saying? Is it the same thing you say at the lake?” I say looming over him. He glances up from the flower arrangement and blinks at me. His eyes are trained on the chair I have toppled over. A frown appears before he goes back to watching the sunflower. “Pick up her chair…she’ll want to sit down when she comes back.” I do as I am instructed, slamming the chair upright before storming to my room. I try to sleep, but the wind has wormed its way under my window and whispers to me. Aria, please come and see me. The wind scoops up a handful of petals off my floor and blows them outside. I follow along behind, ignoring the snores of my father from his chair. The wind guides me down the path we walked this morning. I bend through the trees and brush past the leaves out into the clearing at the edge of the lake. The moon glistens, peeking from behind the clouds, illuminating a woman standing in the water. Her hair looks as if it is swimming in the air. I have to cover my mouth to stop any sound escaping when I spot a little fish splash out of her locks and dive back into them behind her ear. She straightens up and pivots to face me. Her hands are cupping something. The wind doesn’t have to push me any further, my legs guide my body towards the woman holding my father’s sunflower bouquet. We’re not touching but the water around my shins makes me feel connected to her. “He knows they’re my favourite,” the woman says, her voice gushing like a stream, “but they don’t hold the same allure they used to, not now.” She plucks a flower from the stem and slips it into my palm. The salt water from my eyes mixes with the lake at my feet. I look over my shoulder at the shore, at the path, at the forest, at the village, all the way until I can see the slither of the house at the top of the hill. “Will you ever return?” The woman glances upwards as her lips try to pull up towards her cheeks. She gives a steady nod. A crackle in the bushes ruptures the calm night. Someone is running towards us. Her hand cups my chin and turns it back to the lake. A figure bursts through onto the shore just as we sink into the depths of the lake, taking all but one lone sunflower with us.

HELL IS EMPTY AND ALL THE DEVILS ARE HERE - SHAKESPEARE, THE TEMPEST

EBB AND FLOW

JESSE VEGA

EBB AND FLOW

JESSE VEGA

EBB AND FLOW

JESSE VEGA

EBB AND FLOW

JESSE VEGA

EBB AND FLOW

JESSE VEGA

EBB AND FLOW

JESSE VEGA

IZZIE CONTI

ACKNOWLEDGE ACKNOWLEDGE MAGIC MAGICIF IFYOU YOUHA H IT IT SUCCESSFUL SUCCESSFUL YOUR YOUR DESIRES. DESIRES. THE THE POWER POWER OF OF HAVING HAVING CALLED CALLED SUCCESS, SUCCESS, YOU YOU YOU YOU HAVE HAVE

- THE ELEVEN SATANIC

E THE THE POWER POWER OF OF HAVE AVE EMPLOYED EMPLOYED LLY LLY TO TO OBTAIN OBTAIN . IF IF YOU YOU DENY DENY F F MAGIC MAGIC AFTER AFTER D D UPON UPON IT IT WITH WITH U WILL WILL LOSE LOSE ALL ALL E OBTAINED OBTAINED

C RULES OF THE EARTH

THANK YOU FOR NOT REPRODUCING

These words cast across the screen as I watch one of the 220 videos conservative YouTuber HunterAvallone dedicates to belittling and degrading ‘fairies’, ‘triggered gays,’ and ‘lying dykes’. This phrase—“thank you for not reproducing” —while common, is tastelessly apt in this circumstance. The woman shrouded by this phrase is queer, and therefore unable to traditionally reproduce1. It is not worth mentioning the content of the video, nor its comments, as they are far too damaging to repeat. The thing is, I don’t think mass media has realised how harmful ‘freedom of speech is’ yet, and if they have, we have far greater things to worry about than the people who produce this content.

ELLIE CARLESS

CW: HOMOPHOBIA & TRANSPHOBIA

The conservative YouTube movement, with channels like StevenCrowder, MarkDice, and Paul Joseph Watson, have built lucrative careers out of ‘hate media’. It makes me almost wish for a simpler time when people dealt with homosexuality by wanting to ignore it, not wanting to fight it.

When I came out to myself in the early 2000s and my family in 2012, I was living in a homo-political vacuum. Even if I wanted to consume anti-queer content, I couldn’t. While there were LGBTQI+ activists and antagonists, the debate was outside of mass-media and confined to alternative platforms to which the now anachronistic Yahoo!, Myspace, and Broadsheets didn’t give access.

Just ten days before Taiwan was set to recognise samesex marriage, Wallabies fullback Isreal Falou was recorded in a public church service condemning the ‘sin’ of homosexuality, and calling transgender children “the devil’s work”. This ‘service’ is now available to view across most Australian media outlets. Seeing the momentous decision for Taiwan to become the first Asian country to allow same-sex marriage should have felt like a celebration, but instead it was dimmed by the looming presence of another national debate on not just my rights, but whether or not I would burn in hell. It was after marriage equality that the Discrimination Act was suspended to allow wedding cake bakers to refuse service to same-sex couples. It was after Queensland abolished the gay panic defence, that the Coalition unveiled new laws to protect religious freedoms. And it is now, after we have finally reached legal recognition of equality that Anthony Albanese, leader of the opposition, has unveiled plans to scrap ‘LBTQI’ wording and replace it with ‘gay’ to appease the marginal religious seats. It is as if our fight for equality has given recognition for some (cis gender same sex couples), while dismissing calls for further action. Not only this, but that GSD (Gender and Sexual Diverse) people are now political pawns to stand with or shut out depending on what we can do for others. Forget the ‘gay best friend’ trope, it’s the era of the ‘gay best foe’.

We often assume that it is easier to come out now than in the ‘90s and 2000s, and I think in many ways it is. Figures suggest that the general public is more tolerant of GSD people. We have better protections and rights, the rates of violence and assault are improving (yet still staggering), and our communities are organising and embracing solidarity. We still have to ask the question though: is there a correlation between socio-political legitimisation and queer self-actualisation? Does growing up in a homo-political zeitgeist make gender and sexually diverse youth more accepting of themselves, or more polarised? After all, if our allies are in the spotlight, we can guarantee our enemies are too. Young people today can find out in seconds what each of the last five Prime Ministers had to say about their specific sexual orientation during their term in office. If you want to look any further back in history, it becomes harder. As queer issues were closeted, many of our leaders remained silent on these same issues. We didn’t have to know that Margret Court, Australia’s most famous female tennis player compared pride to “what Hitler did”, or that Kevin Hart’s biggest fear was “his son growing up gay”. Scott Morrison, in his seven months of office as the Leader of the Liberal party, has been involved in controversies regarding statements he has made about LGBTQI+ people, or stands he has taken on legislation that involves them. This includes his comments that gay conversion therapy was “not an issue”, supporting a bill to ‘protect’ the right for religious schools to discriminate against GSD students and teachers, and calling transgender law reform “ridiculous”. I didn’t know what John Howard, the Prime Minister serving when I came out, thought about gay people, because it just wasn’t discussed that much. I don’t want to go back to the way things were. I have marched, screamed, and cried too many times to be content hiding in dark places. I just need us to acknowledge that being in the spotlight can sometimes take its toll. It has been well reported that during the Marriage Equality Debate, distress felt by members of the GSD community rose by as much as 58%. On a more positive note, however, the study also showed that support offset much of this distress. We need to embrace this attention, but also prepare for its shrapnel. Listen to your queer and genderqueer friends, share spontaneous messages of love, and don’t forget to ask: are you okay? If we can teach one thing to HunterAvallone it would be that: yes, many of us may not be able to ‘reproduce’ in the biological sense, but we understand something far more elemental. That ‘reproducing’ takes a whole lot of love, and that is something we can be sure our community has.

MARISSA VAFAKOS

STELLA HAYMAN

BRYAN LIM

FOUR CREATURES IN THE DEEP OCEAN THAT ARE SCARIER THAN THE NEW ‘IT’ MOVIE WILL BE

Name: Comb jellies Scientific name: Ctenophores These deep sea gelatinous creatures are related to jellyfish, but don’t have the same sting their surface-dwelling cousins do. Instead, they either have large mouths that suck in their prey like a vacuum, or trap their prey—fish, crustaceans, you, you name it—in their sticky tentacle webs. Sort of like the fucked-up lovechild of a jellyfish and a spider.

MELANIE WONG

The ocean is a scary place. Think sharks and stingrays, killer whales and jellyfish the size of your thumbnail, all just under the surface...waiting for you. Even scarier than these creatures are those in the deep. 150m below the surface of the ocean scarier than the anglerfish from Finding Nemo. Here are five sea creatures that will swim through your nightmares tonight.

Name: Gulper eel Scientific name: Eurypharynx pelecanoides Our slithery friend is just as lovely as its name. Gulper eels have massive, hinged mouths with a pouch on the lower jaw (think pelicans from hell) and an expandable stomach so they can eat as much as they want, even creatures much bigger than themselves. Their bioluminescent tail tip help them attract prey, because who doesn’t love some glow-in-the-dark goodness? They can be anything from 80cm to 2m (so basically, longer than you).

Name: Frilled shark Scientific name: Chlamydoselachus anguineus If hairless cats were a shark, this would be them, plus a few frightening features. These bad boys are 2m long with gills eerily similar to frills. Even though they’re sharks, they swim like eels and often swallow their prey whole, whether that be squid, fish or even other sharks. It helps that their many rows of big teeth each have three long points Lucky for you, they’re rarely spotted in the wild, so, really you just need to worry about all the other sharks chilling near the surface of the ocean. Really, you don’t need to go to Area 51 to find your aliens. Happy swimming!

Name: Rattail or grenadier fish Scientific name: Macrouridae These fish are pretty common on the deep sea bed, up to 6,000 metres in the depths, and look a bit like tadpoles, but bigger. There are heaps of different species of grenadier fish but they can range in size from 10cm to over a metre. Their mouths are often on their undersides, eating the sea cucumbers and crustaceans on the sea bed, or other fish and carcasses. They swim slowly to conserve energy, (honestly, a mood).

THE SCARIEST MONSTERS ARE THE ONES THAT LURK WITHIN OUR SOULS - EDGAR ALLEN POE

MAX RIXON

MANNEQUINS & ME

MAX RIXON

THE

DEVIL

WOMAN (A NOVEL EXTRACT)

Distinguished as both Bringer of Light and Prince of Darkness, Lucifer had an immediate stake in both the big black empty and the tiny burning massives, and there were ever fewer lodestars from which her father could keep her. One such obstacle was Perseus, slayer of snake women, which God had set over Hell’s system. She flicked her forked tongue in contempt as a wave of light particles swept her under the binary gaze of Mu Persei, tingling the skin of her back and eliciting a smile. She was carried along invisible cartographic lines made by the humans who fully embraced her gift from the Tree. With unconscious gratitude to the fallen angel they despised, they divided the night sky in a manner most favourable to her. The next skerry was Hell-friendly: the star Anteres. It was symbolically allied with Lucifer’s forces, as the humans had baptised it the adversary of God in his warlike aspect, the Anti-Ares. As she approached, the enormous gravity well of the red supergiant pulled

She wended her way down the blind worms of Draco and Serpens, beginning at Rastaban—the Dragon’s Head—up until the tail abruptly stopped at Beta Serpentis, which Chinese astronomers had unfortunately declared the Right Wall Of The Heavenly Market Enclosure. She next had to backtrack towards the unholy trinary star system Algol, an early victory from the time humans dubbed it the Demon Star. It weakened the angels’ hold on the entire constellation of Perseus, the second closest member to Earth. Appearing to humans as a two-dimensional image of the Greek hero, it encompassed fathomless depths between them and Hell.

STELLA HAYMAN

A damned soul, propelled by the weight of sin and charged with the shock of death, could make the reverse journey on pure instinct. But under any other circumstances it was a dangerous road. Since the Civil War of Heaven, the stars had been a spiritual battleground for the Hosts Infernal and Heavenly. Dangerous were the celestial bodies that swayed under the influence of Heaven’s goliath planet, the Primum Mobile, but their numbers were diminishing.

her in. She did not lament the loss of her feathery wings; heavy, leathery wings could fly as close to the sun as was needed. One powerful beat and she was slingshot around the star, on an eccentric road to the Solar System.

From there, it was only 90 light-years to Earth. Previously, she could rely on Pluto as another safe marker on the journey, given as it was to the god of the underworld, but its influence against Heaven had weakened since it was demoted to dwarf-planet. Luckily, the dusty tail of a comet made for a shortcut into the Solar System, where Lucifer jettisoned herself into the orbit of her personal planet, Venus, the Morningstar, and touched down gently on its surface. Lucifer took a moment to study the movements of the other spheres (the bellicose Mars was quite a ways away, by luck) before pushing off from the planet and leaping the distance to Earth’s moon. She phased through its penumbral darkness and came out the other side, landing in its bright, crepuscular curve. Legs hanging over the side, she sat and watched the little blue ball spin.

The Devil hung suspended in the void between Delta Fornacis—the fifth-largest star in the Furnace constellation—and its heavy -metal planet Hell, her head oriented to the latter’s south pole. She waited for a stream of radioactivity to skim her along to the first milestone on the cosmic road to Earth.

UTRIMQUE DUABUS

ADRIANE NESHODA

UTRIMQUE DUABUS

ADRIANE NESHODA

VIVENTEM INTER DUOS MUNDOS. TENEBRIS LUCET CLARA, SED REPLETI. O PURA ET SIC PECCATUM.

UTRIMQUE DUABUS

ADRIANE NESHODA

UTRIMQUE DUABUS

ADRIANE NESHODA

LUCEM AC TENEBRAS NIMICUM AMICUM CALIDUM ET FRIGUS NNOCENTES SED REUS SED LIBERUM

UTRIMQUE DUABUS

AISHAH ALI

we see each other in secret, spark candlelights and speak of afterlife i, dangerous heathen, naive and needy, lust for meaning, i think of you most when i forget you, that is to say, i adore you most, the more i please you, i give you a palm, you give me an arm, i give you a yard, you gift me the stars, how must it feel, to summon sinners, ungrateful children, who only turn to you, when it is hard? i wish not to utter you under whispered breath, with trepidation, i wish not to shout you in anger and vindication, they have heard your name only in mouths full of teeth grinded on turmoil in tongues of tragedy it is now time to listen to you in melody, sweet sweet melody.

malice,

HAVE FAITH IN YOU

A SPOKEN WORD POEM

CW: NIGHTMARES & DEMONIC POSSESSION

SPOOKY MATCHES 'N' MEDIUMS

NIGHTMARES ‘N’ SCARES

In my old house, we’d always find burnt matches on the counter or on the floor or on the toilet seat in the bathroom. I thought it was my mum lighting candles but then I found her scolding my brother for playing with matches, which he denied. My mum told my auntie, who used to live in that house and she claimed that she also saw the matches. They hired a medium but my mum still won’t tell me what she said.

I was 10 when I had my first sleep paralysis experience. I used to share the bedroom with my mum and I had a fear of the dark so I usually keep a night light on. I sleep without any trouble most nights, but there was one time when I woke up to the sound of whispers tiptoeing around the bedroom in the middle of the night. I would have normally thought it was my dad or brother, but I have always locked the door so the only way in for them would be to knock.

—Frankie

As I thought about whether I did in fact let anyone inside the room, the whispers started to ring louder in my ears. I looked over to my mum; she was dead asleep. I tried to move my body but strangely enough I couldn’t. It was like a magnetic force pulling me back, helplessly confined to the mattress. I also noticed the night light turned off and I started to panic, yet strangely I couldn’t scream, or do anything at all. I just laid in silence, eyeing a tall man standing in the corner of the room, looking back at me with disturbed eyes. I couldn’t look away, even when he started to move to the right side of my bed. He stood there for a moment, before leaning awfully close to my face. I couldn’t tell if he was breathing or not, my attention was fixed to his face. I tried to look away, trying to call for my mum across the room. My heart was beating ridiculously fast, and before I could even blink the man started to scream. It wasn’t the kind of scream that scares you, rather it made you feel dreary and sad. I felt nothing but the rush of electricity circulating through my chest. The torturing echo of his scream pulled my eyes shut. I woke up to a deep pain in my chest and a ringing headache the next morning. The events of last night replayed in my head. I asked my mum if she heard anything unusual last night, but she slept fine. I don’t really believe in ghosts or the supernatural, but that night made me reconsider. —Leslie

STORIES OUIJA WILES

DID I JUST GET EXORCISED?

The first time I used a ouija board was in Year 8 or 9. Despite not being that superstitious, my friend and I took it pretty seriously and tried to follow all the rules as best as we could. I even brought along some random quartz crystals, crosses, selfblessed holy water, and salt to her house for the ritual. Her make-shift ouija board had also been blessed with sage beforehand.

When I was in high school my mum forced me to see an acupuncturist and on my second visit he told my mum I was possessed by a demon. My mum, being the superstitious Asian mum she is, believed it and told me. I brushed it off because I didn’t believe some stranger telling me I was possessed, but my mum called over our pastor to bless the house. He visited a week later, we all stood near the front door and began praying. Out of nowhere I felt some strange force, that I can only describe as similar to wind, that knocked me back. After the quick prayer, our pastor left, and I went back to whatever I was doing.

The first time we did it, nothing happened. It worked the second time, however we were accusing each other of moving it. Some of the answers we got were gibberish so we thought perhaps the ghost was a toddler or child. Other answers we received were more comprehensible. The board told us her bartender was gay, and when I asked for the name of my favourite character from a game my friend barely knew about (to test how legit the oujia was), it managed to guess the first three letters correctly. When my friend’s sister came home and asked to join, we didn’t let her because the board spelled out “nonbeliever”.

—Jaimee

Years later, I attempted this again with a different friend using a poorly made ouija board, which was just letters drawn on printer paper with a sharpie. Nothing happened and nothing moved. We laughed about it. The next day I got a migraine that didn’t go away for a week or two. This was probably just a coincidence and my friend from high school was potentially faking it, but I doubt I’ll be doing it again anytime soon. —Anonymous

TINDER TROUBLES I’ve been ghosted, does that count?

—Anonymous

HE DEFENDER

Feeling out of sync with others is a normal part of life. You may be losing touch with friends and falling behind with uni. Just do what I do as a horoscope writer—blame everything on Mercury Retrograde. Seriously, with enough conviction it gets you out of anything. If you just keep talking about how we’re 70% water and how the magnetic pull fucks around with the tides and your body, people just start leaving you alone. Life hack!

ARIES Money bags Fish cakes x2 Chicken larb (spicy) King prawn stir fry Veggie pad see ew Green curry No peanuts please and extra napkins Fuck sorry that’s my Menulog order.

GEMINI There are days when things just line up and it feels as though you finally know your place in the universe. You’ll eventually realise that you really are just another cog in the capitalist machine, churning out your labour for a quick buck while the man upstairs is exploiting you and your coworkers. So yeah, I say take that extra 15 minutes on the toilet.

HOROSCOPES

CANCER

LIBRA

Getting comfortable with routines and life can be beneficial—especially with the new semester starting—but be careful you’re not trapped in a rut. Ruts can be scary. They have the potential to destroy you, your family, friends, and everyone you care about. Ruts don’t know right from wrong, they have no remorse, and they will come after everything you own. So just remember to spice things up once in a while!

TAURUS It’s looking like it may be one of those weeks where you head to the gym three times to get those endorphins pumping. It might also look like one of those weeks where you wake up at 3 a.m. completely paralysed with anxiety and take several days off work to recalibrate. Life is a fickle beast.

CAPRICORN Your general stubbornness has always come off as brash and annoying. That’s it. That’s the horoscope.

SCORPIO Learning to forgive is one of the most powerful things you can do in life. It can bring you peace and contentment in your darkest moments. I’d say it’s probably one of the most important skills you can develop. Probably more important than your comms degree. I say, as a horoscopes writer, you should quit whatever you’re doing and pursue this as a full-time career.

AQUARIUS Look here Aquariuses/ Aquariusi, you may have convinced everyone that you’re an air sign but I’m not believing it for one second. First of all, you’ve got aqua in your name. That means water. Don’t give me that “no but we’re actually water bearers”—it doesn’t make any sense! AQUA MEANS WATER. WHY ARE YOU NOT A WATER SIGN?

You may not always gel with everyone and that’s okay. You’re not here to please everyone so don’t let the opinions of others get you down. What matters most is that you’re being your most authentic self. Having said that I seriously don’t understand why some people don’t like me when I’m so fucking likeable. WHAT’S NOT TO LOVE? Anyway, it’s fine. I’m fine. It’s no big deal.

SAGGITARIUS

JENNY CAO

Me: Ah shit, here we go again.

VIRGO

Love is in the air for you this week as you may be bumping into an old flame. This may bring up some sparks and suppressed emotions until you remember that it ended for a reason and they were a really terrible person. You remember when they forgot your birthday and then blamed it on Mercury Retrograde. You’re never dating a cancer rising ever again.

PISCES Facing conflict has not always been your strong suit. You much prefer to avoid any type of confrontation by going into hiding, changing your birth name, moving states, and adopting an entirely different personality altogether. Good call. If you had brought up the issue with your order to the waiter, it would have caused a scene and that would have been super embarrassing.

Therapist: I think it would be a good idea if we explore your past trauma so we develop strategies for you to learn to heal. It might be a little emotionally draining to dig up the past but it’s important for us to see how this has shaped you as a person today. What do you think?

HOROSCOPES

LEO

HOW TO SUBMIT TO VERTIGO

FICTION

PITCHES

Short stories, poetry, flash fiction: everything we know and love about creative writing, or something we don’t know that will surprise us.

Have an idea for a piece that isn’t complete? Briefly answer the following questions: • What is the working title for your piece? • What do you want to write about? • How do you want to write it—what is the structure, tone, or style? • How long is your piece going to be? If you have any examples of previous works please attach them to your email.

NON FICTION We want non-fiction and creative non-fiction writing from all facets of life. Anything you’re interested in, we’re interested in too. AMPLIFY Youth culture, music, fashion, arts and lifestyle—this is Amplify’s bread and butter. Ranging from prolific to up-and-coming, this section will showcase individuals in their creative element through authentic conversation. We are looking to support and promote the creative scene of UTS and cover events near you. SHOWCASE

COLD SUBMISSIONS Already have a completed piece in mind to submit? Send your work to submissions@ utsvertigo.com.au with a brief summary of its content and which section you’d like to see it in. Ideally, you could also briefly describe how your work relates to our next theme. HOW TO CONTACT US

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Send your pitches, submissions, and nominations to submissions@utsvertigo. com.au and one of our friendly editors will get in touch with you shortly. Check out facebook.com/utsvertigo for the most recent callouts, or just send us a message to say hello.

OFFHAND

SOCIAL MEDIA

Offhand is home to all the weird and wonderful things that don’t quite fit inside the box. We want your quizzes, games, playlists, satire and comics to fill the back pages of our mag, nothing is too quirky or weird!

utsvertigo.com.au facebook.com/utsvertigo instagram.com/utsvertigo twitter.com/vertigomagazine

Vertigo is always on the lookout for pitches and submissions of creative fiction and non-fiction writing, visual art, think pieces, feature articles, news, and everything in between. Our sections leave you space to expand. Do you have something that doesn’t fit into a particular mould? We want to see it.

CONTRIBUTORS

AISHAH ALI

TOM ECCLES

Aishah is a fourth year Law and Political Science student, spoken word poet and filmmaker. Her work involves deconstructing her own identity and challenging ideas around brown-ness and femininity.

Tom is a third year Visual Communication student who still doesn’t really know what he’s doing, but gets by through his undying love for Frank Ocean.

ELLIE CARLESS Ellie lives and works on Gadigal land as an English teacher. She is currently writing her thesis and is happily searching for distractions. JENNY CAO Jenny is in her tenth and penultimate year studying. What is she studying? Good question. All will be revealed in the next issue. IZZIE CONTI Izzie is currently studying Media Arts Production, and is best known for uncanny ring of her name, and her for beer. Hobbies include lying in the cathartic karaoke and art.

and the love sun,

RUBEN CUBILES Restless and multi-disciplinary, Rubine was trained in comic, illustration, audiovisual script and advertising. Being the sequential art his great passion. He has collaborated in publishing companies such as Titan, Lion Forge and Zenescope, and has participated in the creation of video games, comics, advertising campaigns and animation, working with companies such as Fox, EA or NBC. Find more in www.colectivolluvia.com ROSALIE DESCHENES-GREGORIE Rosalie is a french canadian student in photography and graphic design who likes everything related with abstraction, good cheap food and dark humour. Check out her instagram @rosaliedg.

GEORGIE EVANS Georgie is a freelance motion designer and lover of horror movies. SHARON GAO Sharon Gao bio Sharon Gao bio Sharon Gao bio Sharon Gao bio Sharon Gao bio Sharon Gao bio Sharon Gao bio Sharon Gao bio. ELIZABETH GREEN Elizabeth got a fringe recently and now that is 91% of her personality. The other 9% is a mix of journalistic endeavours and drinking tea. ESTHER HANNAN-MOON Esther is a third year Communications student who has published three articles for UTSoC’s The Comma. She enjoys travelling and can’t seem to stop herself from doing so. STELLA HAYMAN Stella Hayman is an aspiring author and artist currently working on her Masters in Creative Writing. She works as an illustrator and her graphic novel ‘In The Court of King Rat’ has been exhibited at Hazelhurst Regional Gallery and featured in Artspace’s Another Art Book Fair. This excerpt comes from her novel in-progress, ‘The Devil Is a Woman’. ISABELLA JIANG Isabella is a struggling retail worker who dreams of one day being a goblin living with three dogs, in a cottage by the sea.

BRYAN LIM

MIKE SPITERI

Born at a very young age, Bryan loves drawing weird shit underwater with his dolphins friends. Check his art on instagram @byneart

Mike is a student at UTS studying Visual Communications. He hopes to stand out in a commercial illustration scene that often places cute, pastel, soft or dainty at the forefront. Find his work @fkenmike

Ally is an emerging writer, currently focusing her creative energies on poetry and the undertaking of various transcendent experiences. When she’s not writing, she’s probably reading, drinking tea, practicing witchcraft…the usual. As always, she would like to say an immense thank you to Vertigo for the safe space it has provided her to dabble in the unknown. ADRIANE NESHODA Adriane is an ambitious graphic designer with a strong background in photography. She dreams of existing as her design aesthetic, edgy and fierce. Find her work at @adyneshoda IMOGEN PEARSON Imogen is a 4th year Journalism and Law student who is passionate about social justice, feminism and mental health. KATHERINE RAJWAR Katherine is a second year Journalism student who, despite acknowledging her slim job prospects, will probably still argue that print/radio are definitely not dead. When she’s not writing, she’s working at a bookstore or listening to French pop music which she definitely still doesn’t understand. MAX RIXON Max is a detail-oriented designer, who’s strengths lie in composing intricate hand-generated visuals and typographic detailing best suited to editorial projects. Find his work @rixondesign

S.R.B. S.R.B. bio S.R.B. bio S.R.B. bio S.R.B. bio S.R.B. bio S.R.B. bio S.R.B. bio S.R.B. bio S.R.B. bio S.R.B. bio S.R.B. bio S.R.B. bio. JESSE VEGA Jesse is a conceptual fashion photographer. He looks to capture Sydney’s stylised charm with his film camera. ADELE WARNER Adele is an international woman of mystery who is best known for her work ghost writing Ghost Rider 2: Spirit of Vengeance (2012). Check out more of her delicious work @paprika_princesss TOR WILLS Tor is a Sydney based photographer who in her spare time likes to make playlists. Her music taste spans from black flag to blackpink. MELANIE WONG Melanie is obsessed with Christmas, weirdly invested in competitive figure skating, and wishes she could frolic in the Swiss mountains like Heidi on a regular basis. She’s a bit too idealistic for journalism and a bit too pragmatic for creative writing but somehow manages to make both work. CHARLES YUNCKEN Charles is a Design in Visual Communication and BCII student obsessed with merging design and science.

ALLY MOULIS

STUDENTS’ ASSOCIATION REPORTS

MEHMET MUSA PRESIDENT I would like to reiterate that as President of the UTS Students’ Association (UTSSA); I am here to represent you. So please do not hesitate to contact me on the email I have provided below regarding matters that affect yourself as a student. I have recently raised concerns about the lack of compulsory lecture recordings at UTS. I believe this is something that should be implemented as it allows those students balancing work and study greater flexibility, as well as helping those students who live further away from University and those that may be unwell on a particular day. Moreover, I have also spoken up for the student’s impacted by the discontinuation of the Traditional Chinese Medicine degree. I welcome the Universities decision to extend the closure of the TCM degree until 2022, which allows full time TCM student’s who have enrolled in TCM to finish their degree at UTS rather than another institution or through an internal transfer. To end things, I must reiterate the purpose of the UTSSA is to be an independent student organization, led by student’s for students. Hence, the strength of the UTSSA comes from you, the students. So, I emphasise the importance of getting involved at some point of your degree. Whether this be through SRC elections or simply by joining one of the many Collectives or PERC clubs that run through the UTSSA, I cannot stress the importance of your contribution. Once again, please do not hesitate to contact me on: students.association@uts. edu.au

LLYWELYN PARRY

MADDIE LUCRE

SECRETARY

EDUCATION VICE PRESIDENT

The second half of the year kicked off with a great showing at Clubs Day with over 1000 students coming through and seeing the UTSSA stalls and hearing about the work we do for students, as well as signing up to our collectives to get more involved on campus. I’d like to take a moment to thank the members of the SRC, the Staff, and the collective members that were involved on the day for allowing it to run so smoothly. I have begun the process of developing Standing Orders for the meetings of the UTSSA SRC to go along with the current governance reform that is occurring. This is expected to be completed in the next month or so to allow for a trial process before being properly implemented. I would also like to encourage any student that is interested in learning more about what the SRC does to contact me via the secretary email (secretary@utsstudentsassociation. org) so that they can receive the notices of the meetings which are open to all students at UTS.

Hi all, its Maddie. I hope everyone has enjoyed their holiday so far and is ready to get back into the swing of next semester.

TREASURER Dear students, HIGHLIGHT NUMBERS FROM THE EXPENSE SUMMARY The highlight numbers for June 2019 are the 15k spent on consulting which funds the student legal service. And the routine $7000 for the Bluebird Brekkie bar. The orientation costs were 1,154 for the 500 vegan and gluten free cupcakes for clubs.And routine Vertigo costs of 5000 for printing.This and other small expenses including 308 for elections added up to 28,847.69 for this month. Feel free to contact me at: Treasurer @utsstudentsassociation.org to ask for any details about previous months or the previous years (as audited).

I have been creating and launching my Education campaign with the support of our amazing marketing director Biljanna. The ‘University of TechNOlogy’. We launched the campaign on Clubs day and gave out postcards to students which they can keep through the semester and deliver back to us to report their lecture if it isn’t recorded. We had a great response from students on the day who are all very keen to see their lectures recorded. Once people have filled out the postcards we will then be forwarding on these postcards to the university so they can see on mass how many students want their lectures recorded. This campaign will be run with a heavy focus on online engagement with students creating a series of posts and advertisements featuring testimonials of why students need lecture recordings. As well as also offering an online portal for students to report their lectures as unrecorded. This is the first time the campaign has been run and as we know from the EY survey this is a huge a campaign that students want to see us get behind. If people are keen to get involved I have many plans over the next few months about how to grow this campaign and would love to see it have huge support from the SRC. There will be opportunities for SRC member to do their own pieces to camera, show their support come and lecture bash, come and stall and hand out our post cards. I am super excited by this campaign and I hope

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AIDEN MORE

Welcome to semester 2 and with it the Launch of the University of Tech-NO-logy campaign- Where are our lecture recordings? Did you know that UTS only has two lecture spaces with the capacity to record lectures? As a third-year comms student I have only had one lecture recorded.

you all are too. Please like the UTS Education Action Group on Facebook and email me to get involved on education@utsstudentsassociation.org.au

through, we’ve been busy attending early morning rallies outside parliament, and will continue fighting to abortion is not only legal, but safe, accessible and free.

MIA DABELSTEIN

If you’re keen to get involved or find out more, follow the UTS Women’s Collective Facebook page or sign up on the UTS Students’ Association website.

WOMEN’S OFFICER It’s been another busy couple of months for the Wom*n’s Collective! We finished off the first semester with a much needed crafternoon, which gave a little bit of respite from the busy assessment period. The annual conference of the Network of Women Students Australia (NOWSA) was held at Macquarie Uni in the last week of July. This is a week of panels, talks and workshops attended by students from Wom*n’s Collectives and equivalent groups from across the country. We were able to send 8 UTS WoCo members to attend throughout the week. Clubs Day was a huge success, and our new stickers were a hit. There’s plenty more in the Wom*n’s Room for those who missed out! Following up from Clubs Day, we had a afternoon tea to welcome new members. The National Day of Action Against Sexual Violence at Universities is 20 August, with UTS Wom*n’s Collective joining with our equivalents from USYD, UNSW, Macquarie Uni, University of Newcastle, WSU, and more for a rally and march. Two years on from the AHRC Change the Course Report detailing the shocking prevalence of sexual violence at Australian universities, the response by many universities has been insufficient and done little to prevent sexual violence. We are also currently seeing historic reform of the archaic NSW laws criminalising abortion. The NSW Legislative Assembly has voted in favour of the bill to decriminalise abortion, which now has to pass the Legislative Council. The fight to decriminalise abortion has been going for over 50 years, and this reform is well overdue. To ensure this goes

LILY LINNERT WELFARE OFFICER The welfare collective is an organisation that is run for students by students at UTS and is devoted to improving student welfare at UTS wherever possible. The collective focuses on campaigns and initiatives that aim to aid those students from lower socioeconomic backgrounds as well as the overall UTS student body. The welfare collective signed up a bunch of new members at Clubs Day on August 1st and we are looking forward to getting to know our new members and getting them involved in upcoming events and initiatives. We are currently putting our efforts into the organisation of UTS’s inaugural Welfare Week as a channel to convey to students the facilities, support and programs that are available for them to use and try to make these services as accessible as possible for our students. If you are passionate about student welfare at UTS and would like to get involved, have any ideas you think we should hear, or just want to know a little bit more about what the Welfare Collective can do for students please don’t be shy. Send an email to welfare@utsstudentsassociation. org or sign up to our mailing list at https:// utsstudentsassociation.org.au/collectives/ welfare. We love seeing new faces at our meetings and would love to have more students involved.

TIS NOW THE VERY WITCHING TIME OF NIGHT, WHEN CHURCHYARDS YAWN AND HELL ITSELF BREATHES CONTAGION TO THIS WORLD - SHAKESPEARE, HAMLET

SAM ABBOTT

VERTIGO

MAG

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COMPROMISE//SACRIFICE

FEATURING: KATHERINE ZHANG AND MAX RIXON

CW: BLOOD, ABUSE

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she says choice but how can i see choice

NON-FICTION Accidentally Like A Martyr by The Desperado of El Dorado Toxic Recommendations and the 3am YouTube Binge by Jasmin Narisetty Queer Icons in Colour: Honoring Icons Past by Katherine Rajwar Me and Her by Lizie Cross After The Great Wave by Meadowbrook Ow Vauna by Nina Pirola

AMPLIFY Mixtape by Chloe Dimopoulos The Art of Separation by Sharen Samson Uber Everywhere by Samuel Fraser for every woman i have ever known by Amani Mahmoud

SHOWCASE At Arm’s Length by Stasia Hendrawan Looking For The Lost by Sam Abbott Maman by Manon Mikolaitis Sauade by Manon Mikolaitis Untitled by Geraldine Buzzo Corporeal Bodies by Agnes Choi

OFFHAND Horoscopes by Jenny Cao Who Are You In a Horror Film? Spooky Crossword How to Submit to Vertigo Students’ Association Reports Contributors

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FASHION: ERIN NOVICK

FICTION Apricots by Hanan Merheb What is Left by Isabella Jiang Marcia Lucas by Lucy Tassell The Flesh Engineer by Jack Cameron Stanton the women of green valley by Aishah Ali

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£ £ £ £ £ £

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INTERVIEW: STONE STREET AGENCY

VOLUME E VOLUME VOLUME

FOUR

THIS IS YOUR PUSH, YOUR PULL. SORROW BURIED THIS IS YOUR PUSH, YOUR PULL. SORROWUNDERNEATH. BURIED LOCKED IN YOUR VERY OWN UNDERNEATH. LOCKED IN YOUR VERY OWN HALFWAY HOUSE. PIECES OF US WE LEFT ALONG HALFWAY HOUSE. PIECES OF US WE LEFT THE ALONG WAY–ASHES IN OUR WAKE. BUBBLES TRAPPED THE WAY–ASHES IN OUR WAKE. BUBBLES TRAPPED JUST BENEATH THE SURFACE. FRIENDSHIPS JUST BENEATH THE SURFACE. FRIENDSHIPS FROZEN; THE RUSH BETWEEN FLIGHT AND FIGHT. FROZEN; THE RUSH BETWEEN FLIGHT AND FIGHT. FEET PRESSED TO PAVEMENT, ON THE RUN. CW: BLOOD, ABUSE FEET PRESSED TO PAVEMENT, ON THE RUN. WRINKLES IN FAMILY TREES. A BALMY BREEZE WRINKLES IN FAMILY TREES. A BALMY BREEZE TOO HOT ON YOUR COLLAR. GOOSEBUMPS GONE TOO HOT ON YOUR COLLAR. GOOSEBUMPS GONE WE SURVIVE AS ENIGMAS MOULDED WRONG. WRONG. WE SURVIVE AS ENIGMAS MOULDED FROM PARADOXES: SPINNING OUT OF CONTROL. FROM PARADOXES: SPINNING OUT OF CONTROL. VOLUME 3 IS ABOUT YOUR COMPROMISE AND VOLUME 3 IS ABOUT YOUR COMPROMISE AND SACRIFICE. STORIES OF GIVE AND TAKE, MOMENTS SACRIFICE. STORIES OF GIVEmyAND TAKE, mother’s hands, protrudingMOMENTS veins embroided onto age old skin BEGGING FOR INTERRUPTIONS, THAT ACHED, roadmaps leading to nowhere THAT ACHED, BEGGING FOR like INTERRUPTIONS, FEARS YOU’VE FOUGHT THROUGH, INSTANCES OF hands that have kneaded too much atta hands that have held too many broken things OF FEARS YOU’VE FOUGHT THROUGH, INSTANCES DISCONNECT, AND DISCOMFORT IN OBLIGATION. i watch them drown in the moonlight DISCONNECT, AND DISCOMFORT IN OBLIGATION. and i can’t help but say WE SHARE THOUGHTS ON FOLLOWING YOUR i want a life that is nothing like yours WE SHARE THOUGHTS ON FOLLOWING YOUR GUT WHEN SOCIETY SKIPS A BEAT AND YOUR ART i don’t want sacrifice and she recoils AND YOUR ART GUT WHEN SOCIETY SKIPS Aretracts, BEAT CAUGHT IN PURGATORY, FLEETING MOMENTS. REVIEW: CAUGHT IN PURGATORY, FLEETING she says this is myMOMENTS. choice RELINQUISH YOURSELF FROM YOUR TROUBLES– EGGSHELL SKULL she runs on open, bloody wounds RELINQUISH YOURSELF FROM YOUR TROUBLES– towards a narrowing horizon THE BIG, THE SMALL, YOUR WINS AND LOSSES– towards a sunset perpetually out of reach and says to me THE BIG, THE SMALL, YOUR WINS AND LOSSES– SURRENDER YOURSELF. these are my choices don’t you ever look me in the eyes i gave you and have the courage to pity me SURRENDER YOURSELF.

my mother’s hands, protruding veins embroided onto age old skin like roadmaps leading to nowhere hands that have kneaded too much atta hands that have held too many broken things i watch them drown in the moonlight and i can’t help but say i want a life that is nothing like yours i don’t want sacrifice and she recoils retracts, she says this is my choice she runs on open, bloody wounds towards a narrowing horizon towards a sunset perpetually out of reach and says to me these are my choices don’t you ever look me in the eyes i gave you and have the courage to pity me she says choice but how can i see choice when i see her mother, her mother’s mother all the women in my family, all the women i have ever known

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FEVER FEVER FEVER VERTIGO FEVER SAM ABBOTT

AMPLIFY Mixtape by Chloe Dimopoulos The Art of Separation by Sharen Samson Uber Everywhere by Samuel Fraser for every woman i have ever known by Amani M

NON-FICTION Accidentally Like A Martyr by The Desperado of Toxic Recommendations and the 3am YouTube Queer Icons in Colour: Honoring Icons Past by Me and Her by Lizie Cross After The Great Wave by Meadowbrook Ow Vauna by Nina Pirola

FICTION Apricots by Hanan Merheb What is Left by Isabella Jiang Marcia Lucas by Lucy Tassell The Flesh Engineer by Jack Cameron Stanton the women of green valley by Aishah Ali

OFFHAND Horoscopes by Jenny Cao Who Are You In a Horror Film? Spooky Crossword How to Submit to Vertigo Students’ Association Reports Contributors

SHOWCASE At Arm’s Length by Stasia Hendrawan Looking For The Lost by Sam Abbott Maman by Manon Mikolaitis Sauade by Manon Mikolaitis Untitled by Geraldine Buzzo Corporeal Bodies by Agnes Choi

099.

FEVER

FLUX

WRAP

PARTY

TUESDAY 15.10.2019

FREDAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S

CHIPPENDALE

105

FOOD & DRINK PROVIDED

107

VERTIGO Front cover designed by Mike Spiteri in collaboration with Adriane Neshoda and Marissa Vafakos.

FIVE FIVE FIVE FIVE FIVE VOLUME

FIVE