Newspaper Issue 1 - 2015 by UTS Vertigo

ISSUE NO. 1

18TH FEBRUARY University of Technology Sydney Student Publication

CONSULTATION PERIOD ABORTED BY THIRD TRIMESTER

INSIDE OPINION

by Steph Aikins

The student consultation period for UTS’ balanced semester model has sparked concerns among student representatives. The new annual academic calendar, to be implemented in 2016, will see UTS move from a two-semester model to three nearly equallength teaching periods. The structure was voted upon and passed at the fourth academic board meeting in October 2014, following a single student consultation meeting. Awareness of the meeting was broadcast via student email on the day, which was held during the student election period. Luke Chapman, Assistant Secretary for the University of Technology Sydney Students Association (UTSSA), says he was disappointed in the lack of notice given to students to attend the meeting. “I received an email on the day and I replied saying, ‘That’s pathetic, you can’t give a day’s notice’,” says Luke. “It all seems too convenient … A lot of students were active during the election and we didn’t even have time to propose a moratorium on campaigning.” Secretary of the UTSSA, Jess Xu, agrees that placing the student consultation meeting during the election period hindered student engagement. “With the senior management of UTS well aware that the student activists involved in

the UTSSA would be involved in the UTSSA election and campaigning times, I can only guess that they chose this time for the trimester student forum with something other than students’ best interests as a priority.” The meeting was part of a number of student consultation measures carried out in 2014. During the review period, talks were held with the UTS Students’ Association and their then president as well as student focus groups from all departments. According to the academic board papers from the meeting of the October 22 2014, the student feedback gained from these discussions was taken into account to create a model that will provide “…the optimum balance of teaching and learning, review and assessment periods.” However, Chapman believes such consultation was ineffective in informing the student body. “It all checks out on paper,” he says. “The problem is when you talk to students in reality, no one knows what’s going on.” Xu agrees; she blames limited student consultation as the cause of confusion among the student community. “There was minimal consultation for such a huge change to the way UTS students learn,” she says. “Nearly all students I spoke with during the end of last semester had not heard of trimesters being proposed for 2016. An overwhelming majority of them expressed deep

concern that there was not enough information, and worried that it’d be impossible to get through the same course content in reduced class times.” Chapman, who also sits as a student representative on the Law Faculty Board attributes this lack of communication with the university’s methods of contacting students. “Most students don’t check their emails and the university knows this,” he says. “They didn’t engage in social media, there was no general talk of this, Vertigo wasn’t well informed. I was frustrated they only sent out an email late in the piece and didn’t engage in spaces where students go.” Aaron Ngan, UTS Council Undergraduate Student Representative, agrees the lack of knowledge in the student community may be due to the university meeting only the basic requirements of student consultation. “The university met a basic need of student consultation and, having done so, didn’t necessarily see the need put it forward,” he says. However, Ngan remains optimistic that discussions with students heavily influenced the proposed balanced semester structure. “I know that the Students’ Association was fairly vocal about being against trimesters in general and I think that would have informed the level of discussion,” he says.

Notes on Media: When news is opinion news, #Aus Pol: The gift the keeps on giving

MAJOR REPORTS

Dean Mattar’s Presidents report, Max Murphy’s Education Vice Presidents report, Brigida Jone’s Treasurer’s report

FEATURE

March with passion

SPORTS

Electriv youth: Next stop Russia, Heading into cup, Join the club

REVIEWS

John smith Cafe, Stitch bar, Life is strange: Episode 1, Nite fields: Depersonalisation, The Decemberists: What a terrible world, what a beautiful world Afterworlds, American Sniper, The Interview, Foxcatcher

REAR WINDOW Tony Abbott reverts Australia to Monarchy, Iambic Pentameter

EDITORIAL EDITORS Steph Aikins Allison Bermingham Joshua Cram Cameron Hart Gabrielle Lei Gabrielle Kate Katie Kendall June Murtagh Christopher John Quyen Dinh Sambavi Seermaran Rachael Versace James Wilson

DESIGN CREATIVE DIRECTORS Ting He Rose Wallace McEwen

DESIGNERS Owen Cramp Collette Duong Matthew Harrington Joy Li Brian Nguyen Angela Tam

ISSUE NO. 1

VERTIGO

ISSUE 1. EDITORIAL Huzzah! Here it is, your first Vertigo Newspaper! Editors, writers, and designers have been working with the concept, direction and content of this paper for two months, and here it is. We hope you like it. You may be asking yourself, “Why create a paper and a magazine? Surely one is enough? Aren’t you driving yourselves crazy with that amount of content? Do you need more content? I’m reading this and I think you might need more content? What was I saying just now? Can I submit?” The answers to those questions are many and varied. Starting at the beginning, when we put together this editorial team last year, we decided that we wanted to provide more content for the student population of UTS. We felt that creating more avenues for content to exist would help facilitate that aim. A newspaper may seem like a strange place to go for more content. Media analysts like to crow about the death of ‘old’ media, such as newspapers and radio, and then crow about

the rise of ‘new’ online media. We believe that newspapers have a place at UTS. The Vertigo Newspaper will report on issues that are most relevant to you, from university decisions, to clubs and events that you might want to know about or attend. We will also report on news from around Australia and the world, while keeping you entertained with reviews of various films, games, books and food. For our first issue, you can read about how the trimesters model UTS is implementing will affect you, learn from old heads about things to avoid at university, and hear about why you should consider joining a club or society while you’re here at UTS. Flick through the paper and you’ll find Ryan Auberson-Walsh’s featured article about the upcoming Mardi Gras Festival, as well as a range of political opinions for you to get incensed about, and perhaps write us a letter or two about. Moving on you’ll see our Sport section featuring Luke Cooper’s piece about

what the Asian Cup means for Australian sport, as well as featured sporting clubs you might like to join. Heading toward the back of the paper, you’ll find all the reviews you can handle for one issue and a selection of games to play while you’re in your lectures. And at the very back – Rear Window – our brand new satire section, that takes a lighter look at the news of the past fortnight. I would like to finish by a giving very special thanks to Chris McKay who was in essence, the 13th editor this issue. Another special thanks to the Vertigo design team, who are amazing, and have made this paper look amazing. Without their goodwill and patience, none of this would have been possible. Thanks to you all. Love and Kisses, James and the rest of the Vertigo Editors – Joshua, Gabrielle Lei, Gabrielle Kate, Rachael, Steph, Katie, Sambavi, Chris, Cameron, June and Allison (check out our bios in the Vertigo Magazine).

CONTRIBUTORS COVER DESIGN Rose Wallace McEwen

WRITERS Clare Aston Ryan Auberson-Walsh Luke Baweja Alex Blair Kiên Lê Board Andre Brimo Luke Chapman Jesse Chen Luke Cooper Andja Curcic Liam Egan Nic Fosdike Alex Godbold Emma Green Boaz Hadad Jessica Hay Georgia Heighway Arjuna Jayasooriya Matthew Karstunen Jason Laffer Sam Langshaw Jack London Chreps MccKay Aimee Miller Aaron Ngan Jake Nielsen Jack Sugden Regina Sutomo Lauren Williams

WITH SUPPORT FROM UTS Student Association Spotpress Pty Ltd. Marrickville

INSIDE THIS EDITION

LETTERS TO THE EDITORS

7 REVIEWS

Would like to submit a letter to Vertigo? Email us at submissions@utsvertigo.com.au

OPINION

GAMES

MAJOR REPORTS

Sudoku, Regina of Comedy

Dean Mattar’s Presidents report, Max Murphy’s Education Vice Presidents report, Brigida Jone’s Treasurer’s report

COVER STORY

3 COLLECTIVE REPORTS

Consultation period aborted by third tirmester, Convenience versus privacy

NEWS

Gehry wings it: Building 8 opens, Time and tide, Westconnex

CLUBS AND ACTIVITIES Drawing circle, Outdoor adventure Club, Quidditch

Notes on Media: When news is opinion news, #Aus Pol: The gift the keeps on giving

Tracy Tang’s Overseas report, Sarah Mulhearn’s Wom*n’s Collective report, Lawrence Warren’s Queer Collective report

FEATURE

ADVICE

Horoscopes, Sex Column, Agony Aunt

REAR WINDOW

100% Hitsteria, Government rolls out ‘satire-proof’ hashtags, Tony Abbott reverts Australia to Monarchy, Iambic Pentameter

March with passion

6 SPORTS

Electriv youth: Next stop Russia, Heading into cup, Join the club

VERTIGO

18TH FEBRUARY

STORY CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 “I know having that voice as part of that mix was definitely listened to, or at least heard.” Chapman is concerned a lack of numbers involved in the student consultation period may have resulted in the loss of student voices. “I have met no students who were able to attend [the student consultation meeting] and that’s concerning,” he says. “If you’re going to have student consultation, it needs to be legitimate and there needs to be numbers. There’s no point in using such a small sample size.” Xu mirrors Chapman’s disappointment at the shortage of opportunities for students to express their concerns. “Such a significant overhaul of the structures of learning at UTS should involve extensive consultation with students,” she says. “[Instead] there was a forum where many students involved with the UTSSA were unlikely to attend.” With the passing of the model, student

trimester will be for students to have more flexibility in their study programs, complete longer focused research projects and potentially fast-track their degree. Q. Will I still be a full-time student if I choose to stay with two semesters worth of study? How will this affect my learning? Yes, you will still be considered a full-time student if you opt to continue with a two semester study plan. However, as a result of creating three equal teaching periods, each semester will be shorter in length than the existing model. representatives hope both the university and the student community learn from the issues surrounding the consultation process. “This could be a good case example. It’s rather all too late now,” says Chapman. “We should have had a real student forum where students could come, sit down, hear a presentation from the Vice-Chancellor about the proposed changes and then have time for Q and A. I think that would have dispelled so much confusion, so much suspicion and silly rumours. We need to dispel these myths as student reps but the university could also help that in the future.” Ngan believes it is also the responsibility of the student body to ensure they are well informed of the changes occurring in their university. “There’s a lot of information out there for people who want to find out what has been passed and what has been approved. I think vocally being against trimesters is illinformed and demonstrates that people don’t

actually understand what is going on. I’ve heard a lot of rumours and I’ve heard a lot of people speaking out against trimesters and regardless of whether or not those arguments are valid against trimesters, I think that it is unhelpful in this situation because that’s just simply not the case.”

THE BREAKDOWN: Q. What is a balanced semester model? The agreed upon balanced semester model for UTS will see the academic year comprise three equal-length semesters, referred to as ‘balanced semesters’. Vertigo has received the leaked proposed academic calendar for 2016 and the teaching periods outlined are, including introductory weeks: Autumn (March 7 – June 27), Spring (July 25 – November 7), and Summer (November 21 –February 27). Significantly, the third semester will be optional for students. UTS state the third

Q. Why should I care? The shortening of each semester to allow for balanced teaching periods will mean less one-on-one class time for your subjects. Although UTS is currently re-evaluating their methods of assessment to ensure fairness for students, it is expected that students will meet the same study outcomes as outlined in the present two-semester model. UTS has suggested this would be achieved through more efficient subject orientation periods and better utilisation of study time outside contact hours. With the potential to fast track a degree, it is likely there will be more students on campus throughout the year. This will result in a higher demand for student services and potentially larger workloads for staff. UTS continues to consult staff and student services administration to resolve these issues; and it is important all voices are heard.

CONVENIENCE VERSUS PRIVACY by Jesse Chen

With no unregistered option for the student Opal, the exact times and locations of students will be tracked and can be used against them for the purpose of ‘law enforcement’. But how reliable is this evidence and could it stand in court? Universities across NSW have erred on the side of caution over Transport Minister Gladys Berejiklian’s pledge to roll out the student Opal card this year. Replacing the current gold transport concession foil on our ID cards, the ‘concession Opal’ is a smartcard that promises cheaper train, bus, ferry and tram fares for tertiary students across NSW. While UTS’ position is unclear, the University of Sydney has resolved to introduce the concession Opal to its students despite privacy concerns. An ongoing point of contention is that according to Transport NSW, tertiary institutions are responsible for distributing the concession Opal to its students and setting up its IT systems so that the “eligibility information” of students can be shared with the state government. The instantaneous transfer of ‘eligibility information’ between universities and Transport for NSW may close the popular loophole where part-time students enrol for a full-time semester just to receive the transport concession foil before dropping a few subjects.

Attracting more suspicion is the lack of an anonymous concession Opal for tertiary students, which means that the exact times and locations of over 250 000 students in NSW will be logged and available to authorities without a warrant. Instead, the 2012 Opal Privacy Policy lets Transport for NSW decide on whether to share personal travel records with unnamed officers in other government departments, contractors and operators of the Opal ticketing system, banks and law enforcement agencies.

“OPAL TRAVEL RECORDS COULD EASILY BE EXPLOITED TO TARGET POLITICAL ACTIVISTS OR MAP OUT THE MOVEMENTS OF INNOCENT SUSPECTS.” The judiciary’s absence in reviewing government and private demands for personal location data leaves much room for corruption in the hands of government officials. Opal travel records could easily be exploited to target political activists or map out the movements of innocent suspects. In Brisbane, transport smartcard data was used to pinpoint the location of potential witnesses. An innocent Brisbane passenger was

tracked down by police in 2010 for questioning about a murder, made possible with the use of the precise geographical data recorded by her registered transport smartcard. The troves of information collected by Opal are a highly-sought commodity in the growing data-mining industry. Travel histories accumulated on transport smartcards overseas have been used by private detectives in family courts to support claims of infidelity. Yet to be tested in New South Wales is the reliability of Opal data in prosecuting individuals. Given that law enforcement agencies may use personal travel histories as evidence, the public should reasonably expect that Opal records are accurate and secure. In its short two year history, Opal has proven that it is not foolproof. Numerous glitches have shut down major train stations and commuters have reported ‘phantom’ trips, with Opal records wrongly showing that one passenger had entered a station when they actually hadn’t. While many argue that the Opal is no different to a credit card or mobile phone in its tracking capabilities, the concern lies in the reliability of Opal profiles and the wide discretion given to Transport for NSW in granting or denying access to personal travel records. Unlike the requirement for a warrant

to search social media accounts or intercept telephone calls, the NSW government faces a conflict of interest as it solely decides whether to disclose passengers’ location data to itself. Centrelink, the Australian Taxation Office and local councils are other parts of government that can also access Opal records without the independent oversight that a warrant provides. The absence of an unregistered concession Opal for uni students raises eyebrows as school students can already buy an anonymous, untraceable child-youth Opal from the street. Likewise, those not eligible for a half fare can opt out of Opal surveillance by picking up an anonymous Adult Opal from a retailer. Although Opal passengers agree to have their data collected and monitored when signing up, NSW Greens MP David Shoebridge said that this consent is not voluntary as “the Opal card is increasingly the only practical public transport ticketing option”. While the Opal means that you’ll never have to line up for a ticket again or buy separate tickets for the bus and train, the NSW government is yet to explain why it needs to know the precise movements of tertiary students but not other members of society.

ISSUE NO. 1

VERTIGO

GEHRY WINGS IT: BUILDING 8 OPENS by Luke Chapman

On the 2nd of February I attended the official opening of the Dr Chau Chak Wing Building, the new paper bag shaped addition to the UTS City campus. In mingling with staff and various public personalities after the ceremony, I found myself in conversation with ABC journalist Annabel Crabb. Emboldened by the open bar, I ventured into a leadership spill joke and, surprisingly, Ms Crabb actually laughed. The Dr Chau Chak Wing Building Opening has now been elevated to the stuff of legend; I can tell people Annabel Crabb thinks I’m funny for the rest of time. Ms Crabb was one of a number of notable

guests at the opening, including Foreign Minister Julie Bishop and Opposition Leader Bill Shorten. Both Ms Bishop and Mr Shorten spoke during the opening ceremony, remarking on the astonishing beauty of Frank Gehry’s design. The generous Dr Chau Chak also gave a speech emphasising the importance of education for all people, a poignant statement given the current education reform debate. The building itself will certainly be a great addition to the scholastic opportunities already offered to UTS students. As a major step in completing the Master Plan to improve infrastructure at UTS, the Dr

Chau Chak Wing includes workspaces and social areas designed to encourage and facilitate collaborative learning. The innovative spaces are the physical realisation of

“IT IS UNFORTUNATE THAT SO FEW STUDENTS WERE INCLUDED IN THE OFFICIAL OPENING OF THE BUILDING.” ‘learning.futures’, the educational philosophy championed by Deputy Vice-Chancellor Shirley Alexander. The Dr Chau Chak Wing will enable new teaching styles and foster a

TIME AND TIDE by James Wilson

The Abbott Government continues to teeter on the edge of oblivion, with Tony Abbott only just managing to avoid a leadership spill. The Pyrrhic victory for Abbott played out via a spill motion, brought forward by West Australian MP, Luke Simpkins. It was defeated 61 votes to 39, in a vote of the Federal Parliamentary Liberal Party last Monday. “The correct choice was made. Tony Abbott has won a victory which will give him a chance to continue implementing the reform mandate he won at the last election,” says Jakov Miljak, President of the UTS Conservative Club. In the lead up to the vote, Mr Abbott enforced a rule of binding cabinet to his will – meaning that while the spill vote was lost by 12 votes, the actual level of dissent within the federal Liberal Party is probably higher. “The only people who support Malcolm Turnbull are left-wing Liberals who are in the wrong party, or left wing people who won’t vote for the Liberal party anyway.” A poll commissioned by The Australian on the eve of the spill showed that were an

new class of students to succeed in a global workforce. It is unfortunate that so few students were included in the official opening of the building. Less than a dozen students were at the event, comprised mostly of Dr Chau Chak Scholars. No representatives from the UTSSA, Activate Board or Vertigo were invited, and it would have been encouraging to see more student leaders included on such an important occasion. Nonetheless, the opening of the Dr Chau Chak Wing was a bold declaration. UTS is determined to be a renowned university that produces graduates who will lead the way.

election held last week, Labor’s two party preferred vote of 57% would have obliterated the Coalition, and if a uniform swing occurred across Australia, the ALP would pick up 47 seats, including those currently held by former Indigenous Minister Mal Brough, Immigration Minister Peter Dutton and Education Minister Christopher Pyne. Miljak continues, “Polls are subject to change and whilst the media has been extremely harsh towards Tony Abbott; I think once people realise that the Labor Party is unable to put credible solutions forward that his poll numbers will recover.” While Max Murphy, Secretary of UTS’s Labor Club, is excited by the prospect of a change of government, he says that ultimately there is no current alternative. “Seeing the most insipid, hubristic parliamentarian there is, Christopher Pyne, lose his seat, would be fantastic, (however) the ALP need a little more time to actually have a clear policy to bring to the election. Because when Labor does actually have a vision, there’s usually a Labor victory.” Murphy, who also acts as the Education Vice President of the UTS Students Association, says that no matter the Prime Minister in a Coalition Government, the message is still the same, particularly with regard to higher education. “The Abbott Government isn’t a friend of higher education. They are friends with the IPA (Institute of Public Affairs) and various Vice-Chancellors who want their universities to prosper at the expense of other less prestigious universities.” Miljak disagrees, saying that only the Liberal Party has the policy to ensure that Australia maintains a world-class university system. “The Abbott government understands that universities need to adapt to the realities of surging demand and increasing costs and unfortunately only the Liberal Party understands that reforms are necessary.”

VERTIGO

18TH FEBRUARY

MINORITIES LOSE, WHITE MEN WIN BIG AT NUS by James Wilson

The National Union of Students (NUS) has pillaged minority departments at its National Conference by voting to defund its Indigenous, International and Disability sectors. The conference, held in December 2014 at Melbourne’s Monash University also elected a white South-African to the position of Ethnocultural Officer. In response to the cuts, Sydney University’s current SRC President Kyol Blakeney – who is only the 2nd Indigenous person to hold that position – bellowed defiantly, “We’ve worked without pay before, it’s called slavery. Have you ever picked cotton? I have”. The move to defund departments came following a scathing audit of the national union, which stated it had been mismanaged for most of the past decade and cuts needed to be made, following a $65,000 loss in the last financial year. The outgoing national General Secretary, Isabelle Kingshott, who was responsible for the financial management of the organisation succinctly stated, “This organisation is up shit creek”.

Earlier demands by Unity, the Labor Right faction, to cut the pay of the Women’s and Queer departments were scuttled following eleventh-hour negotiation between Unity, National Labor Students (Labor Left) and Socialist Alternative. The National Independents were livid with the attack on minorities stating “Unity is forcing us to play oppression Olympics by making us pick and choose who we think is deserving of pay”. Former National Indigenous Officers from the Unity faction were quick to respond to the cuts, with 2013 Indigenous Officer, Blake Mooney, saying on Facebook “So much love

Further into the conference, Unity’s candidate for the National Ethnocultural Officer, Michael Bezuidenhout who is Afrikaans descent, was elected following massive protest on the conference floor. Conference delegates from the National Labor Students, Grassroots, National Independents and Socialist Alternative, turned

their backs on Bezuidenhout while he was giving his candidate speech, while Unity formed a scrum around him, barely protecting him from the barrage of taunts and sneers sprayed his way. Over the din, Bezuidenhout stated “I want to try and use my experiences to create a more intersectional community. I am not a monster.” The UTS Students’ Association pays an affiliation fee to the National Union of Students each year – in 2014, they paid $30,000 and an additional $17,000 for accommodation and registration for 17 UTS students to attend.

There are also serious health and environmental concerns. Multiple large-scale research studies show vehicle emissions cause cancer, heart disease, asthma, and other lung problems. Significantly extending our road network will only aggravate an already difficult-to-address climate problem. “The WestConnex project is symbolic of everything that is wrong with our approach to climate change,” St Peters resident Amanda Sordes said. “With only a decade to address our impact on the changing climate we need to be investing in free, fast, and reliable public transport, not helping wealthy consortiums profit from toll roads.” “We need a comprehensive plan that takes into account the community and the environment.” On Melbourne Cup day last year Premier Mike Baird announced that the WestConnex Delivery Authority (WDA) would compulsorily acquire the Dial A Dump site in St Peters to use as an interchange for the extension of the M5. The government is expected to foot the decontamination bill after private negations with Ian Malouf, Dial A Dump’s owner and major Liberal party donor, broke down and the land had to be compulsorily acquired. Residents in 40 homes along Campbell St

facing eviction are furious, having recently received notices requiring vacant possession in early 2016. Until the announcement of the acquisition of the dumpsite on Melbourne Cup day, all enquiries made to the WDA received the same response: “we have no plans for the area”. The residents are angry about the lack of transparency and lack of planning, and the NSW Auditor General has criticised the lack of oversight and review. The process has also been widely panned by transport experts, who say there isn’t enough information available to form an opinion on the project. There is no way to analyse the business case because the majority of it has been withheld as commercial in confidence. The executive summary of the business case was released last year; however, this information is effectively useless, as it doesn’t include any of the underlying assumptions or calculations made. The State Government has also not yet released an environmental impact statement. While stopping the most expensive road project in Australia’s history is going to be an uphill battle, WAG and RTS campaigners are buoyed by the recent victory in Melbourne against the similar East West Link.

for you all, so I’d never say this publicly – but what happened tonight is very disappointing”.

“THIS ORGANISATION IS UP SHIT CREEK”

WESTCONNEX by Jack London

On February 1, Newtown’s assortment of freaks, ferals, families, small business owners, artists, hipsters, and cops paraded down King Street in a show of community spirit against the Inner West’s latest existential threat. The crowd of 3 000 were protesting the $11.5 billion WestConnex project: a three stage, ten lane super highway touted by the NSW Government as a combination Botox/ Drano for urban renewal and traffic decongestion. The widely criticised project will probably accomplish neither of these goals and locals fear the resulting clearways will inevitably destroy Newtown’s vibrant neighbourhood. The resistance to the planned extension and duplication of the M5 tunnel to St Peters is spearheaded by the WestConnex Action Group (WAG), a loose network of residents from across the affected areas, and a Reclaim The Streets (RTS) collective best described as a group of artists who are focused on repurposing roads for community use. These two groups are concerned the WestConnex Motorway Project will spew tens of thousands of cars onto already clogged Inner West roads. To accommodate the extra traffic on an already gridlocked King Street, 24-hour clearways will very likely be introduced.

This will hurt local businesses and decimate the local community, as has occurred with the Parramatta Rd and Oxford St clearways. Increased traffic exiting at St Peters is expected to run past local schools, making it more dangerous for pedestrians, especially children. Increased noise will prohibit pavement dining: people will not be able to sit outside at cafes, restaurants and bars due to deafening traffic noise. Large chunks of Sydney and Simpson Parks will be lost to widen Campbell Street and Euston Road. This loss of precious inner city green space will involve the removal of hundred-year-old Moreton Bay figs from Simpson Park. An RTS spokesperson said there are wider implications than just the impact on the inner west. “This is not a case of Not-In-My-BackYard, this is a case of Not-In-Anyone’s BackYard,” the spokesperson said. “Highways are a failed infrastructure idea: they do not reduce gridlock forever. Congestion returns to the same level after only a couple of years as the new roads encourage more car use.” “With a price tag of $11.5 billion the people of NSW will pay for their government’s lack of vision.”

ISSUE NO. 1

VERTIGO

CLUBS AND ACTIVITIES DRAWING CIRCLE utsbackstage@gmail.com.

UTS: CLUBS

Drawing Circle is a society where students can share the joy of drawing, challenge themselves by making art across various media, be travelling artists and make friends. From developing art skills and knowledge to waging Pictionary battles, we are passionate about bringing out students’ creativity, not to mention a few laughs here and there too! Regular events include student-run classes/workshops, a more laidback hangout Etch & Sketch, as well as life-drawing opportunities. If you’d like to find out more, do find us on Facebook at ‘UTS Drawing Circle’ for our latest updates, or feel free to drop us a line at drawingcircle.uts@gmail.com. Our first (free!) welcome party is also being held on 22 February for those who’d like to meet our new members and execs. All are welcome!

OUT DOOR ADVENTURE CLUB http://www.utsoac.org.au/index.asp

Like all UTS clubs, the Outdoor Adventure Club offers you many opportunities to get involved in activities you probably haven’t been exposed to before. Abseiling, rock climbing, ice climbing, canyoning, hiking, camping, mountain biking, the list goes on! Our club will be holding 25 beginner courses this year to teach you the required skills to confidently and safely partake in all our adventures. We run over 200 trips every year to the Sydney surrounds and Blue Mountains, letting you put your new skills to use and to continuously improve upon them under the supervision and guidance of our experienced Trip Leaders. Do you need to have your own equipment? NO! We’ve got everything you need and it’s yours whenever you sign up for a trip. Have a look at our website and contact us for more information.

QUIDDITCH Contact Activate UTS: Quidditch

A club that combines both sport and social fun! Whether you’re a big Harry Potter fan or not, anyone can get in touch with their competitive side and give Quidditch a go! With state-wide and national inter-university tournaments and weekly casual competitions in Sydney, there are plenty of opportunities to get fit in a physically challenging, and very exciting, game. The Quidditch community is a very warm and accepting group of people, so for people new to Sydney or university it’s a great way to meet people and make great friends. We run many social events for our club and often combine with other university Quidditch societies. Events include beach Quidditch, wheelchair Quidditch, board game nights, karaoke nights, scavenger hunt, movie days, and night outs. We train regularly, which is the best way to meet us! Like ‘UTS Quidditch’ on Facebook, where details for training times and all events will be posted! Hope to see you at something soon!

VERTIGO

18TH FEBRUARY

LETTERS TO THE EDITORS Would like to submit a letter to Vertigo? Email us at submissions@utsvertigo.com.au

LETTER OF THE WEEK Dear UTS Vertigo,

Dear UTS Vertigo,

Dear UTS,

I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for a ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.

I’ve been studying at UTS for nearly four years now, and no one has been able to adequately explain why our student newspaper is called ‘Vertigo’. Is it an allusion to Count Vertigo, a B List supervillain from the Green Arrow comics? Or the fictional drug from the TV adaptation of the Green Arrow comics? Or is the newspaper endorsing the damaging of the inner ear? Or exploiting those suffering for humour? I am disgusted! Please clear up this confusion!

How dare you. How actually dare you. I see you daring to do what you’ve dared to do and find myself asking- how? You have dared, and I am left shaking my head and asking you how. And yet, you show no sign of not daring in the future. How? Also- why? Why would you? Why would you do something like that? Why? Huh? Are you even listening? Why? Why would you dare? How could you dare to even consider daring. And why? Also- who do you think are? Daring? Who do you think you are? What gives you the right? Wait- save that for later. Who? Who! Also- what gives you the right? What makes you think you have the right? What gives you the right to dare! Ergh!

I’m a long term fan but a first time phoner-in. I was wondering if it would be possible for you to put a photo of a famous actor at the top of each of your articles. Not only would it provide the newspaper with some much needed celebrity endorsement, but it would also allow us to understand what voice we should be reading the article in. For example, any article about the environment I feel should be read in Morgan Freeman’s voice. A photo of him at the beginning of the article would make this clear. If you’re not keen on adding additional photos, maybe you could instead create some kind of labelling system. At the end of each headline, put the initials of a celebrity. C.W. would be Christopher Walken, for example, and should be used for all economic articles. Or perhaps, to avoid confusion regarding celebrities who may share initials, a more uniform symbolbased system could be employed. This has the advantage of allowing a single article to utilise numerous voices. # I could write something like this, knowing that the reader is aware ‘#’ means ‘Sean Connery voice’ but then switch into ^Michael Cain voice with the ‘^’.

Liam Neeson Dear UTS Vertigo, I was truly, deeply disturbed to discover that UTS has no policy when it comes to the preservation of unicorns. As a university, the shaper of young minds, I find it very worrying that this is not a major priority for him. I certainly hope your newspaper will take a leading role in driving the importance of this issue to the student body. After all, while the elixir of a unicorn’s horn can cure most known diseases, the population figures have been very distressing. If we don’t look after these majestic creatures, who will? I think pressure must be placed on the Student’s Association to hold a referendum on this crucial issue. Yours in Christ, Margaret Margaretson

Yours, Alastair Cholic Dear UTS Vertigo, As part of my degree, I need to get a peice of writing published. I was hoping you could publish this for me. The peice of writing needs to be a certain length, so below I have repeated this opening. As part of my degree, I need to get a peice of writing published. I was hoping you could publish this for me. The peice of writing needs to be a certain length, so below I have repeated this opening. Kind regards, Boris Yukalov

Hugs and kisses, Amanda Hugandkiss

Cheers, Daniel Cooper-Hyde

ISSUE NO. 1

VERTIGO

NOTES ON MEDIA:

WHEN NEWS IS OPINION IS NEWS

By James Wilson

Welcome to university. As a student at this fine tertiary institution - Sydney’s 3rd most prestigious university, no less - places you within an elite group, a portion of the general population that is encouraged by peers and lecturers alike to expand their knowledge, explore different possibilities, and yell at all who are in positions of power. Yelling at authority figures while a student at university is nothing new; students have been doing so since they cracked ecclesiastical heads at Paris University in 1229. It is a time-honoured tradition that has led to actual changes within broader society, such as the end of Australia’s involvement in the Vietnam War, the beginning of the Sydney Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras and other less successful campaigns such as the National Union of Students campaign against higher HECS fees in the mid 2000s. Student media also plays an important role within the media landscape, and through that, broader society.

Media is often referred to as the ‘fourth estate’ – a term that derived from the 18th century and was set against the other three estates – the clergy, the nobility and the commoners. Today, those three estates have been updated and now generally consist of government, business and workers or consumers. As the fourth estate, media’s role is to act as a protector of the people, and to hold government and business to account. But what happens when business has editorial control over the media? Can it still report effectively on issues, or is its voice distorted by the economic bottom line? Can it hold government to account when those business interests are tied into government in a way that has never been seen before? As a result, mass media has become warped – it is now beholden to business interests – running smear campaigns against certain politicians when their Government (or Opposition) makes decisions that run contrary to their owner’s business interests.

It has, for the most part, also abandoned the idea of reporting issues as news, and now often reports opinion as news. The 24 hour news cycle exacerbates this, with opinion-reported-as-fact-reported-as-fact-reported-asfact, meaning that minor issues often spiral into major issues. The issue that has entranced big media over the past month is the Liberal leadership. What began as Tony Abbott knighting Prince Philip has spiralled into a spill motion that almost threw the Prime Minister out of office. Following the result, journalists on ABC announced that while the spill was unsuccessful, Abbott’s Prime Ministership was terminal, and he will likely be chucked out before the next election. The first part of that sentence was news, the latter, opinion. No doubt in the coming weeks that too will be reported as ‘news’. If a government funded agency like our national broadcaster – with a mandate to avoid bias - cannot see the difference between news and opinion, what hope

does the remainder of mass media in Australia have, when owned by people who only wish to make a profit? Free from corporate constraints such as shareholders and profits and bolstered by student services, student media functions outside the sphere of corporate mass media. This enables them to question areas of society including business, government, people and the media that major outlets are either too afraid to speak about, or are unable to due to company ownership or advertising issues. As a student publication, we are biased. We are biased toward the students of UTS, and do not and will not apologise for that bias. For at least one column each fortnight, Vertigo in 2015 aims to confront the issues that affect UTS students, exposing the issues that the mainstream media won’t touch. Follow me on Twitter @jwilso24 If you have a tip, email us at editorial@ utsvertigo.com.au.

#AUSPOL:

THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING By Matthew Karstunen

Spills. Normally when you think of a spill you’d think of noisy kids in a restaurant who don’t know their manners. If you really think about it, Australian Politics (or #auspol as they say on Twitter) is very much like a bunch of kids in a restaurant. The yelling when it’s time to order the meals is very much like Question Time in Parliament, and the sending back of the food when it’s not good enough sounds a lot like the process of getting any bill passed in recent years. Now to those who may be asking, why am I comparing #auspol to manners in a restaurant? It is because of the head chef, or captain as he calls himself, Tony Abbott? If you have watched the news, gone online or even spoken to someone in the last week, you’d probably be aware of the speculation around the leadership of the Coalition government, specifically its “captain” Tony Abbott, and whether he is coming or going or just waiting for a mate. Before getting into it, I want to point out that when I was first approached to write this opinion piece, the speculation of a direct

challenge wasn’t as rife, but it seems as every minute passes, something new is happening. So instead of commentating about what’s about to happen, let’s take a look at where we are as a country. With Tony Abbott originally holding a special Liberal party room on Tuesday February 10, the fact that he made it a day earlier made it seem even Abbott wanted this taken care of and out of the way. This seems to be a common message not only for politicians, but also for voters. Despite what has happened in relation to #LibSpill, there is one thing that we need to take away – since the 2007 election, Australia has had 6 leaders from both parties as we head into the 2016 Federal election. That averages to 14 months per leader. Which really begs the question: is that enough time for a leader, let alone a party, to cement itself for the very reason they were voted into power, or to form oppositional policies? The jury is still out. Let’s put that into perspective. Egypt, a country which went through a revolution in 2011, has also had 4 heads of state

and 7 prime ministers since the revolution. Two worlds apart, yet Australia and Egypt are similar in that aspect. Another sign we should get back to work. What I’m getting at is this: as someone who at first enjoyed watching Australian Politics as it unfolded in front of our eyes, it is hard at times to keep up with everything as it happens with this leadership speculation. This truly highlights that need to get back to business. Yes, the spills have been great entertainment and even greater Twitter fodder, but it’s time to move on. Who knows, with all of this drama we might even get a decent tele-movie out of it. 2015 should be an interesting year in politics as we head towards the next election. Whether you’re supporter of the Greens, Labor, Liberal or even the Palmer United Party, I say bring it on and let’s get back business. Follow me on Twitter @MKarstunen.

VERTIGO

18TH FEBRUARY

DIVINE TALENT: BIG NAMES ON SHOW FOR AACTA AWARDS By Aimee Miller

“YOU’D BE AN IDIOT IF YOU DIDN’T RECOGNISE THAT AUSTRALIAN ARTISTS, IN FRONT OF AND IN SO MANY CATEGORIES BEHIND THE CAMERA, ARE AMONG THE WORLD’S BEST.”

These were the opening words of Geoffrey Rush’s 2011 speech as the founding President of the Australian Academy of Cinema and Television, AACTA. Four years on and the statement still rings true. Previously known as the AFIs, the AACTA Awards are Australia’s answer to the Golden Globes. Every year, the red carpet is rolled out to celebrate the best of Australian film and television. This year was no exception. The red carpet affair saw the elite of the Australian entertainment industry turned out in their best. Despite being sponsored by a major car company, Cate Blanchett arrived on the 374 bus to join her co-host Deborah Mailman on the carpet. Other stars were quick to join them; notable faces including Geoffrey Rush, Hamish Blake, Mia Wasikowska and Rose Byrne. ABC’s The Code dominated the TV Drama category, with six nominations and four awards including Best TV Drama, Best Director and Best Lead Actor. It also took home the unofficial ‘Most Tearful Acceptance Speech’, with Best Actor winner Ashley Zukerman fighting back tears as he dedicated his award to literally every person involved in the show. Channel 10 cut this speech cer-

emoniously short for the broadcast. ABC comedies Please Like Me and Utopia also took home multiple awards each. Affable Josh Thomas won his first AACTA for the screenplay of Please Like Me, whilst the creators of political comedies Hollowmen and Frontline, took home the Best Comedy award for their newest creation, Utopia. The night ended in a surprise as, for the first time in the Academy’s history, there was a tie for Best Film. Possibly the two most dissimilar nominees, Russell Crowe’s directorial debut The Water Diviner and Jennifer Kent’s The Babadook took the stage together as Australia’s best films of 2015. After being the highest grossing Australian film in 2014, The Water Diviner receiving the honour of Best Film was not exactly a plot twist. The film had earned $5.65 million by Dec. 31st. Instead, it was Australia’s prodigal son The Babadook that received one of the loudest applauses of the evening. The Babadook was released in Australia in May 2014 to a largely unresponsive audience. It took little more than $260,000 at the local box office and was largely ignored by critics. Almost a year later, after remarkable, borderline ‘cult-status’ success overseas, it returned

home with a vengeance. The Babadook ruled the AACTA Awards, taking home not only Best Film, but also Best Original Screenplay and Best Director. The irony was not lost on writer/director Jennifer Kent, “I’ve travelled around the world with The Babadook…one thing I can say is how much the rest of the world loves Australian film, and I hope one day we love it as much as they do.”

WORKLOAD AND CLASSES

great caramel thickshakes. New Year, New Me: being organised For many people, being organised at uni is as unattainable as a New Year’s gym membership. No matter how hard you try, your sleek new diary is only filled in for the first 3 weeks of semester, at which point it’s discarded. This behaviour is neither unique nor particularly restrictive. Picking your battles with organisation is key. Even if it hurts you to get up before midday, waking up at 9am to pick your timetable early is a great investment and will make you happier for the rest of the semester. A well-made timetable can mean having classes with your friends, having breaks when you need and getting the early train home.

Glam and glitz aside, the most moving moment of the night was when legendary Indigenous Australian actor, David Gulpilil, received Best Actor for his performance in Charlie’s Country. Gulpilil has starred in some of the most iconic Australian films, including Storm Boy and Rabbit Proof Fence. As he made his way to the stage, the audience rose for a standing ovation. When they finally fell silent, Gulpilil delivered one of the shortest, yet most touching speeches. “I love Australia. And I love me. And I love my Australian film. This is my country.” Do you like Australian Film? Let us know at submissions@utsvertigo.com.au

THE FRESHER’S GUIDE TO UNIVERSITY By Kien Le Board

You’ve received the text. You’ve re-read the email, followed the links, and finally you are here. The wacky world of a real-life university student is yours to inhabit. But what’s that looming on the horizon? No, it’s not the Tower; it’s that shiny demon, the unknown. Never fear brave traveller, here to help you navigate the snakes and climb the ladders of first year uni is THIS. A VERTIGO GUIDE TO O’DAY AND BEYOND!

SETTLING IN AND WHAT TO EXPECT. O’Day is day like any other, except with more shameless plugging and sweets. It’s important to realise that the people running the stalls are not superior metahumans but rather volunteers who wouldn’t have given up their time unless they thought getting you to join their club or society was actually worth picking up a Fantale and paying the $5. “There are heaps of clubs for every activity and I regretted not signing up for more stuff on O’Day, because although I talked to them, I didn’t sign up on the spot which meant they didn’t really get back to me.” Says Matthew Agnew (B Forensic Biology) The volunteers aim to get you to join and will answer any number of questions. Try

to get as clear a picture as possible about a society, keeping in mind that signing up is probably worth it, if only to attend the parties. The potential to meet new people and participate in an activity you enjoy generally outweighs any $5 fee.

SOCIAL INTERACTIONS Going to uni for the first time can be daunting. Is the work harder? Who do I talk to? Where do I sit? Am I wearing the right clothes? In short, what is acceptable university practice? According to Isaac Garcia (BA in Communications, Digital and Social Media) there’s nothing to stress about. “University is so much less drama than high school. People just sit wherever, do whatever, and wear whatever,” Garcia states. When making friends, keeping an open mind is important, says Isha Bassi, (BA in Communications, Journalism). “Once you leave high school you realise who you were close to and who you just talked to because they were there. I am friends with some people from high school but we’ve kind of drifted apart. It was sad at first but then I kind of accepted it.”

You’ve survived the HSC! How much harder can uni be? Take comfort from Winnie Chu (B Arts in Communications, Public Communcation LLB) when she says uni work is “not necessarily harder than high school but you do have to motivate yourself to work.” One thing to note is that it’s always awkward asking questions in a lecture or a tutorial. Be brave, take a deep breath, double check that you’re asking a relevant question and just do it.

FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD! But where shall I eat? Here are few things to keep in mind when dining in and around uni. • UTS is in the city. The city has food of all kinds at all prices, if you’re prepared to walk there. • Market City is close and the fresh fruit there is both cheap and stylish. • Central park has a pretty nice grassy area across the road, as well as a Woolies. • There are microwaves all over campus. • The Underground has nice seats. • Cafes vary in price and quality both on and off campus. The Building 10 café does

THE UNEXPECTED! Inevitably you will run into any number of things not mentioned in this guide. While this has been by no means an exhaustive “suppository of all wisdom”, the author would like it noted that there are more important things than stressing over uni.

ISSUE NO. 1

VERTIGO

MAJOR REPORTS PRESIDENT REPORT Dean Mattar

First I would like to welcome all new and old UTS Students back to Uni and hope that their break was well spent. We at the students association however have been continuously busy to ensure that in 2015, every student enrolled at UTS will have adequate representation and support throughout the coming year. We have listened and heard your concerns about the governmental pro-

EDUCATION VICE PRESIDENT REPORT Max Murphy

Howdy. I’m pleased to announce that I will be you’re Education Vice-President for 2015! Yay! This means I’ll be taking the lead on issues around Education Activism and I’ll

TREASURER REPORT

Brigida Johns

On December 8th I began my new and exciting term as the 2015 Treasurer with lots of ideas and ready to get working. There have been some significant changes to the roll of Treasurer, particularly in comparison with years before me. These changes include a more active role, not only in the expected duties of the Treasurer, but as a more holistic and inclusive member of the SRC and an active contributor.

posals to your education, and how under fee deregulation that your degree’s could possibly cost over one hundred thousand dollars. For many, including myself, this would be a life sentence of debt. At the UTS Students’ Association we believe that education is a right, not a privilege. If we let government legislation pass, we students will be trapped in a lifetime of debt. In an increasingly education-based global society, empowering individuals with the access to education is one of the few ways to offer sustainable change. But with all rights, we need to ensure that we fight for them and protect them. That is why we believe in student control of student affairs – nothing about us without us. We are the representative body on campus to ensure that students rights are not taken away, that we are consulted in all decision making processes affecting us, and that we

are not scared to mobilise and protest to be heard if necessary. And that is why on the 25th of March at 2pm, outside the main tower building, we all will be mobilising to fight for more funding to universities, no deregulation and a fairer student income support system. Deregulation will destroy higher education through the creation of a two-tiered US style system. We need to keep reminding Pyne and the Liberal government that students are ready to fight in 2015 to make sure it’s buried for good. To learn more about how you can help fight for your rights, and join in, enter the depths of Level 3 Tower Building 1, past the table tennis trainers or the fake-brick wallpapered food court, and find us at the Students’ Association! Or send me an email at president@utsstudentsassociation.org

be the head of the UTSSA if the president’s unavailable. So far I haven’t really been up to much as my term has only officially started very recently but I’ve sorted out this years UTSSA Student Handbook (which hopefully you’ve had a chance to read through) and I’ve been started to plan campaigns which will aim to make life at UTS better for students. Some of the campaigns we’re aiming to get off the ground this year include: supporting staff against mass casualisation, expanding the childcare facilities at UTS, fighting against the deregulation of Uni fees and giving students more of a say in how their university is run. I’ve also had some opportunities to meet with the education officers of other campuses and try and have a cohesive student movement that brings to light issues that apply to all students, and also organise events such

as the National Day of Action (Please come, it’s on the 25th of March at 2 outside the UTS main tower). The security of student’s wellbeing and the accessibility of tertiary education are on incredibly shaky ground, and we need as many students as we can to get involved in education activism here at UTS. So if you want to get in touch just drop me a line on education@utsstudentsassociation.org

Of course my duties include the standard, approving funding and spending (specifically for conferences such as the National Union of Students and Council of Australian Postgraduate Associations so that students may interact with other Australian university students), maintaining records for all sectors of student spending (collective spending, conference spending, staff payments etc) and setting a tentative budget with the 2015 Budget Committee (more info to come after the 2014 audit! Stay tuned!) One of my visions for the SRC is to increase publicity of the Students’ Association so that new and seasoned UTS students are aware of, and utilise, the facilities and services UTS offers. As part of this increase in publicity, the first executive meeting involved how we were going to approach increasing UTS Student Association publicity. We decided one of the most effective methods of doing this is to brand UTSSA on paraphernalia in gift bags to be given out in UTS’s Orientation Week. Some of the items include a calico bag, USB (that also duals as a

bottle opener); UTSSA handbook and information about safe drinking and safe sex and other goodies. We hope that students will see the branded items so they may become more engaged with the UTSSA as a whole. A tentative new idea that I have been pushing to create in the UTSSA is to create a university wide Textbook Equity Scheme. This is a fantastic initiative which has been successfully working for years in the UTS Law Students’ Society and UTS Business Students’ Society. This scheme allows for students who are financially disadvantaged (by providing proof of disadvantage i.e. Centrelink form, Diversity Access Scholarship, Healthcare Card, Pensioners Card etc) to borrow books from the UTSSA Second Hand Book store free of charge as a loan for the semester. As said, this idea will hopefully blossom into a reality with the corporation of the Welfare Department, the SRC body and the Second Hand Bookshop.

Nothing about us – Without us!

See ya round!

Looking forward to a busy, but mostly rewarding, 2015!

VERTIGO

18TH FEBRUARY

COLLECTIVE REPORTS

PLEASE CONTACT US IF YOU WISH TO KNOW ANYTHING MORE ABOUT OUR COLLECTIVES AND WHAT WE DO!

OVERSEAS REPORT

WOM*N’S COLLECTIVE

QUEER COLLECTIVE

Tracy Tang Bin.Tang-1@student.uts.edu.au.

Sarah Mulhearn utswomenscollective@gmail.com

Lawrence Warren queer@utsstudentsassociation.org.

As the start of semester draws closer I have been working with various international student groups on and off campus, to ensure that international students have access to the information they need to have a positive year of study. In the role of UTSSA Overseas Students’ Officer, I will promote co-hosting more events with other Collectives and Clubs, which will reinforce the presence of international students and increase their involvement and engagement in university life. This will be vital in supporting international students as they step out of their comfort zone and engage in the unique experiences the wider Australian community has to offer. Another priority for international students this year is the fight for working rights and enforcement of the minimum wage. Despite continued reporting, workplace mistreatment and exploitation of international students has persisted. This year I will make a concerted effort to ensure the rights of international students are upheld in the workplace. I ask that everyone at UTS join this fight! Discussions with domestic and international students at the first UTS International Support Meeting of 2015, highlighted a number of barriers for international students to navigate in the workforce. For example limited experience of resume and application writing can restrict students in finding work. Another issue was the lack of awareness of services provided on campus to benefit international students like the free UTSSA legal advice service. I have been in contact with the Council of International Students Australia (CISA) President and his executive assistant, and both of them have voiced support. They have expressed interest in organising a workshop with leaders of the international students community, sharing their experience of helping students in taking legal action against their employer for unfair treatment. If you are an international student seeking to get involved or would like information contact me: Bin.Tang-1@student.uts.edu.au.

Hey everyone! Welcome the New Year at UTS, it’s likely to be a big one! The Wom*n’s Collective has kicked into gear early, with a bunch of exciting events slated to take place in the wee weeks of Autumn Semester. We’ve organised our stall for ODay, where we hope to meet the incoming cohort as they stumble their way through a very disorienting induction, and welcome a flurry of new members. (If you miss us on the day, don’t even worry about it! Just swing me an email at utswomenscollective@gmail.com and you can join at any time!) We’re also in the proccess of putting together UTS’ first Rad Sex and Consent Week, which is a Sex Ed campaign that answers the important questions standard curriculums don’t want or don’t think to ask. We’re running workshops, have a speaker coming in (the inimitable Amelia Kerridge), and we plan to run the gamut of Everything You Need To Know to Have A Fun, Safe, Healthy Sex Life: Sex Toys 101, BDSM 101, Anatomies of Pleasure, Sex and Technology, and many more. We’re excited to say that the Queer Collective, alongside volunteers from other collectives and campuses, are giving us a massive hand to make this as wonderful and comprehensive as we could hope for on our first ever event. We’ll be having a big kick off picnic on the 9th of March, so keep an eye out for posters advertising the time and location. We’re also excited to announce the launch of our Intersectional Cross Collective Student Archive. If you have any questions about Feminism and Social Justice, it’s a great place to begin and develop your education. You can check it out at utsstudentarchive.com Last, but not least, since the Wom*n’s Collective is a community organisation, and my role as Prez is as a facilitator, we encourage any and all people who identify as women and/or non-binary (who experience oppression under patriarchy) to bring your ideas and projects to us so that we can support you in any way we can!

The collective is preparing for the exciting year ahead. We have many plans, intending to welcome new students at O-Day in February with a stall with the other collectives and hopefully get some of those students involved with the collective. We’re also already in contact with the Queer Collaborations 2015 committee, and have already put down a deposit to the conference so that as many UTS students as possible will be able to access the convention at the lowest possible cost. This conference will be run during the semester break, if you’re interested. We’re also hoping to run more workshops and events this semester. Hopefully some of these events will be run in collaboration with the other collectives. Some cross collective events are already in the early stages of planning. At the end of last year, Callum and I were elected to be the 2015 queer officers. So far this has gone well. Our role is mostly administrative, to ensure the smooth running of the collective, and make sure that the needs of queer students are met on campus. With this in mind, I have represented the collective at the first of this year’s SRC meetings, and intend to continue to do so throughout the year. If you’re a queer student with an issue that you believe needs to be brought to the SRC, feel free to contact me in person, or through email at queer@utsstudentsassociation.org. Our second purpose as Queer officers is facilitation – if you have an event or similar that you believe should be run, such as a workshop, discussion et cetera, please come to us.

MARCH WITH PASSION by Ryan Auberson-Walsh

Santa may have come and gone, but the white-bearded bears of the world will flock together on Sydney’s Oxford St in the coming weeks for ‘Gay Christmas’. Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras is just around the corner, and soon the streets will be dolled up with an onslaught of deliciously excessive rainbows,

ISSUE NO. 1

sequins and glitter. But of all the events that might bedazzle, shock and entertain, the most glorious and world-renowned would have to be the parade. It draws in crowds large enough to compete with New Years Eve on the harbour and raises pink-dollar spending through the roof. Mardi Gras began as a small and passionate march of just over 500 individuals protesting discrimination towards the gay and lesbian community in the late evening of June 24 1978. Since then, it has emerged as a globally celebrated beacon of hope for all members of the LGBTQI umbrella. And 2015’s Mardi Gras festival season is no less emotional than that of four decades earlier. With this year’s theme of ‘passion’, revellers from all over will rejoice in what the free-for-all event means to them. A number of UTS students will no doubt be cheering for diversity in the crowds, whether blind drunk or dead sober. Recent journalism graduate Jesse Matheson will volunteer his time again this year – something he has been doing since first marching alongside his mother and aunt at the age of fifteen. “It’s a moment I’ll never forget, and one which really strengthened our relationship at a time when we were both beginning to

enter a whole new world, with me being gay and her being the mother of a gay man,” Matheson says. “That to me is the power of Mardi Gras, to bring people, including families, together in the fight for freedom and to allow people to unabashedly show pride. There aren’t many movements today which offer that and that’s why I continue to be a part of Mardi Gras, because it needs volunteers to keep that magic alive.”

“THAT TO ME IS THE POWER OF MARDI GRAS, TO BRING PEOPLE, INCLUDING FAMILIES, TOGETHER IN THE FIGHT FOR FREEDOM AND TO ALLOW PEOPLE TO UNABASHEDLY SHOW PRIDE.” Matheson says he wants to “make sure that a 15-year-old boy or girl in 2016 can have the opportunity to march with their parents, or that a 60-year-old can finally face their fears, strip down to a G-string and combat boots and declare ‘I’m here, I’m queer, get used to it!’. It’s my way of paying it forward.” Bringing in contributors, activists and

VERTIGO

helpers serves as an equal opportunity to become involved in the community event that has enriched local and international queer culture for generations past. This year Matheson will work tirelessly behind the scenes with a number of working groups that oversee marketing, events and other organisational formalities. “My main focus for 2015 is being a part of the youth-focused YourGen working group which specifically aims to increase engagement and participation with youth aged 15 to 30-years-old”, he says. “With marriage equality on the horizon and acceptance of the LGBTQI community from the mainstream wide-spread and still growing, youth don’t feel the need of having an “LGBTQI community” anymore which, in some ways, is great, but in others it’s not.” This trend that Matheson refers to is a complex topic. LGBTQI issues including same-sex adoption, trans* rights, queeryouth suicide and marriage equality are supported by prominent figureheads on the political stage and in world media. However, the political focus on these issues might deter some younger queer folk from involving themselves with the wider rainbow community. “To me, the aim of YourGen is really to show young people that Mardi Gras is

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still a very powerful celebration and is an important symbol and reminder of how far we’ve come as a community,” Matheson says. “I believe the festival and the parade’s power to help people discover who they are and its role to allow individuals to feel as if they are a part of something or fighting for something is not over yet.” In the eyes of young Scarlet Fever, the drag alter-ego of former UTS engineering student Jack Douglas, Mardi Gras and the community’s involvement is something that has helped shape who he, and his character, have become. “Coming from engineering I always felt a bit out of place. I’m now open to new people discovering I do drag. It’s not something that I’m hiding at all,” Douglas proclaims. “More than anything, Mardi Gras is just fun. It [the parade] was actually the first time I did drag, and it’s a great time to express who you are and not hide it because it’s such an inclusive environment.” Now two years on, and well-versed in public performance, Douglas looks forward to being on-stage again. “I already have three or four performances in mind for the future. Even when I’m taking a break from drag for the sake of uni, performing is always a part of me.” The balancing act between the life of Scarlet and Jack is a challenging one. This year he will be dipping his toes into a new course at UTS, hoping to round off his qualifications with a Bachelor of Forensic Science in Applied Chemistry. It’s a big year for Australian scientists. Last November it was announced that a body farm would be built on a patch of land in the Hawkesbury region of Sydney’s outskirts. Perhaps a bit morbid for some, both Douglas and his quirky alter-ego are lapping up the news.

“COMING FROM ENGINEERING I ALWAYS FELT A BIT OUT OF PLACE. I’M NOW OPEN TO NEW PEOPLE DISCOVERING I DO DRAG. IT’S NOT SOMETHING THAT I’M HIDING AT ALL”. “I always liked forensics as a kid. I loved those CSI shows. I’ve got a bit of a morbid curiosity, and I thought it all just looks like one big puzzle, so it might be fun.” Speaking of his drag act, it’s easy to understand where the character connection is. “I pride myself on having some weird performances. My look might not always be up to scratch, but I really like to conceptualise the entire performance. I’ve been Carrie, where I was covered in blood and twitching on the floor. I’ve been a fucked up clown at Halloween where I tried to scare everyone, and I’ve even been the doll from Saw. “There are a few drag queens I know who take the idea of makeup as a way of covering up their own identities. Some people can see it as a way of hiding behind a mask, but I’m the complete opposite. For me it’s about taking the mask off and, without fear, stepping on-stage and saying, ‘Fuck it. I’m here already. Let’s just do it.’ It’s really about expressing another side of myself.” The work that goes into a show is incredibly admirable – it’s something like prepping for an oral exam looming around the corner, where it will all come down to the day. But regardless of the pressure to get everything right, Douglas says it’s still an amazing experience. “There’s a sense of thrill and elation when performing that doesn’t really come from

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anything else. Leading up to the show, it’s such a rush. There’s hours of hard work – deciding on a song, finding an outfit, working out a routine - and it’s intense, but it’s all worth it during those three or so minutes on-stage”. Constantly rehearsing and having a solid idea for wooing the crowd isn’t always going to work. Even calculating the minimum three hours of makeup, weeks of dancing and learning lyrics, it might not come together perfectly. “It’s funny, when I look back at photos of old shows I always think ‘holy shit, I look terrible’. At the time you think you look good, you think you know what you’re doing and then months later upon reflection it’s just, ‘what the fuck was I thinking?’ There’s really no point in being serious when performing. Like get real, I’m a man in a wig.” As a steep learning curve, Douglas’ time on-stage is in many ways a lot like his time studying at UTS. There’s the odd jeer here and there, there’s times of colossal stress, but overall it’s something that has helped him become a more knowledgeable and experienced individual. “Doing drag, I’m now more self-assured with who I am as a boy. I don’t care how my hair looks, and I’ll wear nail polish because I think it looks cool. I’m less concerned with what people think of me,” he exclaims proudly. Coming back to uni is something Douglas is looking forward to immensely, but there’s a lesson or two from Mardi Gras about inclusivity that staff and students could learn themselves. “UTS is certainly on the more inclusive side of the spectrum, but I think there are still instances where you can’t genuinely be yourself. We’re on our way, but we’ve still got a long way to go in our attitudes. “I think the queer space is a starting point. It’s a little cramp, and I always feel weird about the space being shoved in the corner of the tower’s underground. It’s like, ‘the queers are being annoying. Just stick them in the corner, they’ll shut up and all will be fine.’ I just hope we get to have a bigger space in the future – and I think a lot of my friends would appreciate some windows for natural light.” As Douglas rejoins the campus population and Matheson leaves, it’s sure that they’ll both be heavily involved with the queer community beyond the walls of the tower, cheese grater and paper bag we’ve come to love/loathe. “I’m not sad to be leaving UTS, I’m excited! I’ve spent almost four years under the tower and I’m pumped to be finally entering the workforce as a journalist and a creative,” Matheson says. “As a gay man going to university I never had a problem with my sexuality. I even met my ex-partner of two-and-a-half years there. That, of course, isn’t to say there still aren’t problems. There are always problems in these sorts of institutions and I would like anyone who is at the receiving end of harassment to know that there is always help out there.” With words of passion driving him forward on his career path, Matheson is elated with this year’s chosen festival theme, calling it “poetic”. “As a gay man, I find passion to be far more than just that fire in our bellies that keeps us fighting for equality. Instead, I believe passion is synonymous with love, and that when it comes down to it, so many in the LGBTQI want to simply love and be loved by others. I know I do,” he says. But passion has several meanings for every person on the planet, and it’s certainly something that this year’s festival-goers

should embrace as they come together in March and parade on proudly. “If there’s one thing I would like to see in the world, it is recognition of the importance of passion and for people to empathetically take on, understand and fight for the passions of others,” Matheson declares. “If there’s one thing I would like to see from tertiary education in the future, especially from the journalism degree I’ve just finished, it would be more nurturing of passion rather than the testing of it. “To anyone beginning, continuing, or ending their degree, I urge you to fight on and to never let your passion, and your love for what you do, die.”

“I PRIDE MYSELF ON HAVING SOME WEIRD PERFORMANCES. MY LOOK MIGHT NOT ALWAYS BE UP TO SCRATCH, BUT I REALLY LIKE TO CONCEPTUALISE THE ENTIRE PERFORMANCE”.

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DOUZE POINTS – AUSTRALIA! by Regina Sutomo

THE AVENGING SPIDERMAN by Liam Egan

Sony Pictures Entertainment and Marvel Studios have announced that Sony will bring the Amazing Spiderman into the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It had been hinted at for over a year and the desire from fans was never greater, especially after the disappointing reception of Amazing Spiderman 2. In addition to the announcement, Sony revealed the release date of the next instalment of the Spiderman franchise as July 28, 2017. This will be the first time the character will be in Marvel’s hands cinematically. The film will be co-produced by Marvel Studios president Kevin Fiege (Avengers, Iron Man, Guardians of the Galaxy) and Amy Pascal, the former Sony Pictures chairperson who was responsible for bringing the Spiderman franchise to Sony, who in turn, will continue to own the rights to the Spiderman franchise. At the announcement, Walt Disney Company Chairman and CEO, Bob Iger said “Spider-Man is one of Marvel’s great characters, beloved around the world. We’re thrilled to work with Sony Pictures to bring the iconic web-slinger into the Marvel Cinematic Universe.” With this announcement, we can expect both studios to begin integrating the arachnid avenger into the new slate of Marvel movies. Following this announcement, Marvel and Sony also announced that Spiderman would be a character in the upcoming Captain America: Civil War. The Civil War franchise is a defining component of Marvel’s history, which could see Captain America and Iron Man (Chris Evans and Robert Downey Jr. respectively) face off, with Spiderman caught in the middle. Robert Downey Jr. has officially been announced as appearing in third instalment of the Captain America series, so anticipation is high for its 2016 release date. It has not yet been announced if Andrew Garfield will reprise his role as Peter Parker/ Spiderman in this new stage of the franchise, or if there will be a re-casting in order to better integrate Spiderman into the Marvel Universe. The Spiderman franchise is the most successful in Sony’s history, with all 5 movies netting the company a combined $4 billion dollars worldwide. The Marvel Cinematic Universe, which includes films such as The Avengers and Iron Man, has grossed over $7.1 billion dollars over the past 6 years, making it the 2nd highest-grossing franchise of all time.

Congratulations to Australia! We have officially made our mark on this wonderful planet; we are officially a global citizen. Was it through our anti-climactic hosting of the G20 summit conference in Brisbane? Is it through our commitment to international aid and money? Or is it that we are at the forefront of Malaysia Airlines searches? Nay, we have something more grounding, more unifying and more harmonious to be proud of, an achievement to be heralded throughout this great southern land. Australians all, let us rejoice, for we are officially competing in the 2015 Grand Final of the Eurovision Song Contest in Austria. “But Australia isn’t part of Europe!? Just because millions of Australians tune in to watch the contest on SBS as an annual excuse to party, doesn’t mean we’ve swapped hemispheres!” you comment in jest. Historically, the Eurovision Song Contest was established in post-war Europe in an effort to foster harmony and peace through a friendly ‘light entertainment program’. The contest isn’t about geography, it’s centred around celebrating the unifying nature of music. In fact, Israel and Morocco have previously entered in the contest and technically so can some African countries. See, according to Australian Eurovision commentator Julia Zemiro, the official rules say that entrants need only be a member of the European Broadcasting Union. Let’s be honest. The annual contest is a global party. I can’t guarantee that the music is of a good quality, but it’s definitely an experience. Some acts are just for fun, like the 2011 Moldovan entry, which featured unicycling garden gnomes, strobe lights and

trumpets. Other entries are visually spectacular, like the 2014 Montenegro entry which coupled roller-skating with a CGI spectacular, resulting in an end product of ice skating on stage. There are obviously socio-political manoeuvres, like 2015 winner Conchita Wurst being one of the most controversial performances in the contest’s history, and there are those who just “have a go”, like nearly every performance from Great Britain in recent years. In 2014, Jessica Mauboy represented our sunburnt country in a guest performance at the grand final. In 2015, we will achieve eternal glory as a competitor. What other arena teaches you about languages, countries of the world, encourages participation and fosters patriotism better than Eurovision? With promises of Greek trampolines, Russian grandmas, Swiss banjos, Danish pyrotechnics, Georgian parachutes and Irish twins, you’ll be in for an experience.

NEW ALLEGATIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT EMERGE AS BILL COSBY CANCELS SHOWS IN BOSTON by Liam Egan

Former fashion model and former guest on The Cosby Show, Helen Gumpel has come forward with allegations of sexual assault committed by Bill Cosby. Ms. Gumpel, who now lives in Connecticut with her husband, made allegations against Cosby at a news conference in downtown Boston. Her statement included a retelling of an event where she was brought to Cosby’s dressing room where he sat her on the couch and gave her a drink. Cosby had stated that he cancelled the shows due to the forecasts of weather in the Boston area. Since the allegations began, over 30 women have come forward with accusations of a similar nature and Cosby’s performances have been heckled and received media attention for protesting out.

Ticketmaster had also offered refunds to several of his shows in Denver in January. This comes with the Silver Legacy Casino in Reno, Nevada also cancelling the show that had been booked for the 14th of February. The Los Angeles Police Department is currently investigating Cosby following new allegations that Cosby sexually assaulted dancer Chloe Goins, 18 at the time, at the Playboy Mansion. If you are experiencing sexual assault, call 1800 RESPECT immediately, or contact the NSW Rape Crisis Centre on 1800 424 017

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18TH FEBRUARY

SPORTS ELECTRIC YOUTH: NEXT STOP RUSSIA. by Luke Cooper

“We’ve done it, we’re Champions of Asia!” The Australian Socceroos topped all expectations last month to overcome tough opposition and clasp their hands on the AFC Asian Cup; so where to now for the squad and what does this mean for the future of Aussie football*? At the close of 2014, the AFC Asian Cup was a tournament desperate for attention, particularly after the Socceroos’ less-thanimpressive friendly results post-World Cup. Pre-tournament, the Japanese Blue Samurai was the expected competition frontrunner and with a lack of blockbuster fixtures lined up, the Asian Cup fell upon deaf Australian ears. That was, until the boys in green and gold opened with 4-1 and 4-0 destructions of Kuwait and Oman respectively, and their fans began to listen. Despite a brief setback against South

HEADING INTO CUP

Korea in their final group stage match, Aussie fans began to witness the heralding of the new breed in the Socceroos squad, as match by match, they surged toward the final. This birth of talent within the team had been in the works for 8 months prior to 2014’s FIFA World Cup with the installment of Ange Postecoglou as coach. This move was crucial for Australia and culminated in, as former Socceroo John Aloisi said: “Our biggest [International] achievement – we won a trophy.” The triumph conveniently occurred while local clubs were recruiting for the upcoming season, which will surely boost the rising popularity of the sport on a national scale. Add this to the Western Sydney Wanderer’s Asian Champion’s League victory last year and football has a bright future in Australia, particularly when faced with the dwindling attendance rates of the National Rugby League and Rugby Union codes. The super effort by up-and-comers such as Wanderers’ striker Tomi Juric in the closing minutes of the Cup final to set up the winning James Troisi goal combined with the Massimo Luongo/Robbie Kruse drawcards reflect the move further away from the previously heralded golden age of 2006. The national team should now set their sights on

concreting this current strength of the youth in the Socceroos squad and focus on the World Cup qualifiers coming up at the end of this year. Australia’s performance in these games will determine the approach both players and fans take towards 2017’s Confederations Cup – in which Australia is only the 3rd nation to qualify behind hosts Russia and World Cup Champions Germany – and the big one itself in 2018.We’ve managed to prove our worth within Asia, particularly with Tim Cahill’s recent $10M move to Shanghai Shenhua, but as Ange himself as said: “Hopefully from now on our Aussies can take on the world.” It’s now time for the Socceroos to grow past creating background noise on the world stage and beat marquee international teams at what they’re best at – winning World Cups. While a Cup victory may be idealistic for Russia in three years, or even for Qatar in seven (should it even be hosted there), Australia’s upcoming youth development program casts a positive light on our competitive future. Perhaps with a little luck, we may even see Cup hosting rights hit our shores in coming years. With all that said and done, it can be said that the Socceroos have convinced a nation of the power and popularity of football in this country and have shed light on the successes that are surely to come in the future. Where this particular cup win takes us remains in the hands of geniuses of the game such as Ange, Mile Jedinak and the boys.

by Alex Blair

The ICC Cricket World Cup is dawning on Australia this weekend and it looks to be a cracker of a tournament for the cricketing world. A number of teams have raised their hand as worthy contenders for the title of one-day champions in the past months, as well as a few key players performing out of their skin in an effort to bring their country to glory. As a rule of thumb, Australia are resounding favourites for the cup with a number of advantages under their belt; home ground familiarity, 4 previous World cup wins, thousands of drunk Aussie supporters and David Warner. It’s no secret that the stocky opening batsman has hit a peak in form over the past year, having blasted twin centuries in the opening Test in Adelaide this summer and numerous run-a-ball tons in the shorter form in the recent tri-series. With his explosive hitting playing a key role in the opening overs tied with the astonishing recent form of Steve Smith at the top of the order, Australia are set to give opposition teams a hard time chasing totals. Adding in the experience of a (hopefully) recovered Michael Clarke and Mitchell Johnson, Australia is in good hands in attempting to reap a 5th ICC World Cup title. Despite Australia’s advantages, some favour must be given to the South Africans, who have recently dominated home-soil ODI tournaments with the efforts of AB De Vil-

“HOWEVER DANGEROUS AUSTRALIA AND SOUTH AFRICA ARE LOOKING, NEW ZEALAND COULD BE IN FOR A CHANCE AT THE CUP AFTER OVERTAKING INDIA IN THE ICC WORLD RANKINGS.” liers. There’s no doubt De Villiers is the most versatile and destructive batsman in cricket today, having hit a 31 ball century against the West Indies just last month. De Villiers’ powerful middle to late overs hitting will prove to be a problem for even the most experienced opposition bowlers in the death. His bowling attack of experience limited-over bowlers led by world No.1 paceman Dale Steyn will give South Africa what looks like their best chance at achieving their maiden World Cup win. However dangerous Australia and South Africa are looking, New Zealand could be in for a chance at the cup after overtaking India in the ICC world rankings last month. Led by ODI veteran Daniel Vettori, New Zealand look to have their best ever chance at a World Cup win since the tournament’s beginning. With talents such as Corey Anderson, Kane Williams and Ross Taylor all performing well in the lead-up, New Zealand are sure to produce some exciting performances.

Despite having won the last World Cup, India look to be in a mess in the lead up to their opening game. Having spent the last 3 months in Australia, the defending champions have failed to win an international match. Convincing performances from ODI specialists such as Virat Kohli and MS Dhoni look to be India’s only chance of having a sniff at even the quarterfinal round. As proved by previous World Cups, smaller teams such as Ireland, Bangladesh and Scotland can cause surprising amounts of damage. However, a wildcard making it into the super 8 stage is still highly unlikely. The Cricket World Cupis shaping up to be a great start to another exciting series of cricket.

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DO YOU LIKE TO SPORTS? JOIN THE CLUB. VOLLEYBALL by Jason Laffer

As one of the elite clubs at UTS, the UTS Volleyball Club competes in the SVL and AVL, the premier competitions in NSW and Australia. Running on a Thursday night, UTS social competition welcomes all skill levels of those wanting to play. The UTS Volleyball Club participates in the Australian University Games, most recently sending a Men’s and Women’s Top Division team, and taking home the Bronze and Silver respectively. If you would like to be part of a strong competitive team, UTS Volleyball Club encourages you to join. The average member can get involved with everything, including joining a team in our Social Competitions at Sydney Boys High School, or playing for our Representative teams in the Sydney Volleyball League and weekend NSW Volleyball State Cup Series. Our rep team members are also invited to our social events, like the upcoming Trivi-oke (trivia and karaoke) night. Playing volleyball for UTSVC is an excellent opportunity for people of all ages, abilities and backgrounds to get together and have fun! Not only is there a great club environment, we also have one of the most successful representative programs at UTS and were named Club of the Year in 2013. Summer time is usually the off season for our indoor volleyball members. But there’s still some great beach volleyball to be enjoyed! We also hold our AGM and get together alongside Australia Day celebrations! 2015 is looking to be bigger and better than ever. We’ve got our social comp up and running. Men’s, women’s and new junior rep teams are about to be formed. We’re also welcoming back the UTS Volleyball Cup in July, a fundraising tournament for our Uni Games teams. We are on the lookout for some excellent student athletes to join our Men’s and Women’s Uni Games teams this year as we look to go one better and take the gold at both Eastern and Australian University Games!

AFL The UTS AFL Club is a Men’s and Women’s AFL (Aussie rules) football club. We compete in the Sydney AFL competition over varying grades that cater for all skill levels, from beginner to elite. We are based in the Eastern Suburbs of Sydney and our home ground is located in Paddington, just outside of the CBD and only 200 metres from Edgecliff train station. We cater for all types of players from the social ‘weekend warriors’ to the more serious Premier Division players. However, once the game is done we love to get all the grades together and share a few drinks and good times. We have been training hard over the summer with our new head coach, former Sydney Swan Nic Fosdike. Whether we are running hills in Centennial Park or doing push-ups in the surf down on Bondi Beach, all of our guys and girls are working hard to improve in 2015. Our social ‘home’ is the Royal Oak Hotel in Double Bay, which hosts our social activities. During the season we gather here for post-match presentations, which is usually the launching pad for another brilliant night out with the Bats alumni. We are known for having the best ‘off field’ events in Sydney AFL, and our friendly social atmosphere is what makes the club so attractive to newcomers. Our great events like ‘ladies day’ and ‘Bats Ball’ attract hundreds and are big events on the Sydney AFL social calendar. We can guarantee that off the field you will love our big social culture and feel like part of a family amongst our large number of ex-patriots, international students and local players. We recommend getting to training and giving it a go. Not only is AFL one of the most inclusive and challenging games on the planet, but we make a point to always have a laugh and a good time no matter what.

SOCCER UTS Soccer Club has grown over the last couple of years and now encompasses 7 teams of differing abilities, from a good competitive standard to social kick-abouts. We play most of our games over in Lindfield on the brand new all-weather pitch where the old UTS Kuring-Gai campus used to be. These competitive teams play on Saturdays and trains on Tuesdays. We also enter a team into the University games each year and managed to pull off gold medals at both the Eastern University Games and The Australian Championships here in Sydney. For an average member, the club is as warm and as welcoming as a kangaroo’s pocket, but this kangaroo is known for working hard and playing harder, both on and off the field. UTS Soccer likes to think of ourselves as striking the perfect balance between being social and successful. The last couple of years have seen quite a positive turnaround from UTS with 6 of our 7 comp teams winning promotion last year and 3 of those teams winning grand finals. Our University Games team are quite simply the best in UTS history and are the reigning Australian champions, cruising to victory over Victoria University in the final here in Sydney. UTS Soccer’s competition teams are all looking to push for promotion once more this year with a more rigorous and committed training program. As for the Uni Games team, we hope to defend our titles at the Eastern Games in Wagga Wagga and at the nationals on the Gold Coast this year. We will also be on the lookout for the individuals who have what it takes to come with us.

WATER POLO

https://utsvolleyball.wordpress.com/

http://utsafc.com.au/

http://www.utssoccerclub.com/

http://balmainwaterpolo.com.au/

by Nic Fosdike

by Jack Sugden

by Alex Godbold

Over the last couple of years, UTS has built up their water polo program to not only offer a chance for students to meet, train with, and compete with other like-minded students, but for families and friends to get involved too. The club is a strong community that also has success at the elite level of water polo in NSW and Australia. Members can get involved in any one of the social grade teams ranging from 7th grade to 4th grade. Your team will train down at the iconic Dawn Fraser Baths and compete on a weeknight against other Sydney divisions. Beyond training and games, there is a great social aspect of hanging out as a team and getting down to enjoy a gourmet BBQ and drinks while supporting our more competitive grades. Over summer the club has upgraded to pool facilities with a new pontoon and scoreboard to make the playing environment even better for water polo. We have also increased our offerings on food and drink options for spectators. In 2015, the club has employed a new head coach who is changing how the club programs are structured to keep our training relevant to the modern day game. Growth in our national league teams should see vast improvements and even a finals spot for our teams. We hope to continue to engage university students to keep improving and developing our strong tradition of water polo through UTS.

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REVIEWS

18TH FEBRUARY

FOOD JOHN SMITH CAFÉ by Luke Baweja

REVIEWS

Gastroporn. The obsession society has with documenting and sourcing visually appealing and flavouring stimulating food due to the sensual appeal it is presented. It’s an epidemic. But it’s not for the everyday glutton, and whilst the two (gastroporn and gluttony) might be misconstrued as being mutually inclusive, it is important to note that the rise of the gastropornographer applies to the pleasure one gets from tasting food, as opposed to the pleasure one gets from the quantity of food. Food has elevated itself from sustenance to an art form, and nobody does it better than John Smith Café. It was a cold, miserable Australia Day when my friends and I decided to travel to Redfern to savour the tastes of the John Smith Café. Of course, as a resident of the North Shore, the 1.5hr trip was stifled by the incessant miserable weather, leading me to have the emotional range of a gumboot. The staff and food of the John Smith Café however had other plans for me. Upon arriving, where we had to wait outside, we were handed complimentary hot chocolates to keep us warm; a welcome gift that we all thoroughly enjoyed (partly because it was free). That made the 10min wait for a table that much more enjoyable. When a table became available, we walked inside to a cosy environment, where every effort was made to make it appear like it was your grandmother’s kitchen, including homely cooking like the ‘Poached Eggs on Polenta, Zucchini, Sweet Potato Rosti with Goats Cheese and Peperonata Salsa Verde’ which I ordered. Whilst there is only so much one can do with poached eggs, the John Smith Café managed to encapsulate a flavour explosion of tartness and creaminess, all exemplifying and complementing one another. So in the terms of the gastroporn world we live in today, one can easily have a gastrorgasm upon dining at this quaint café.

give away that it is in fact a bar. But pass through the set of saloon-style doors and you will discover a very different setting. Candlelight and close surrounds make for an intimate atmosphere, and if you are a fan of the whimsical, you are sure to enjoy their décor. A picture of a crowned canine hung in a place of honour above our table, while various other quirky pictures lined the surrounding walls. An upbeat soundtrack of blues and rock played in the background, mingling with the chatter of friends, colleagues and dates as they enjoyed their meals. Stitch Bar has a wide range of beverages on their menu but they are mostly known for their cocktails, listed under ‘Stitch Classics’. I would recommend their Goosebumps cocktail, which was a pleasant blend of Grey Goose Pear, rosemary syrup, ginger beer and bitters. The service was slow on the night we visited; Stitch Bar can be quite crowded later in the week. The food however, was thoroughly satisfying. Crunchy curly fries arrived in generous portions with seasoning that provided a mild kick. The desert menu is also not to be overlooked. Their Raspberry and Caramel Waffles were truly memorable; crisp waffles were served with caramel alongside a delightfully sweet raspberry ice-cream. This dessert is perfect for anyone with a sweet tooth like mine. The Stitch Bar serves tasty food, interesting beverages and provides a perfect setting for a casual night out with friends or a romantic date night. Be prepared to wait for your food, but know that it will be well worth it.

GAMES LIFE IS STRANGE: EPISODE 1

BARS STITCH BAR ON YORK STREET Address: 61 York Street, Sydney NSW 2000 Website: http://www.stitchbar.com/bar/ Open times: Monday – Wednesday: 4pm-12am Thursday – Friday: 12pm-2am Saturday: 4pm-2am

by Jessica Hay

You would be forgiven for almost passing this small unobtrusive bar on York Street, Wynyard. With antique sewing machines lining its shopfront entrance, little would

by AJ

Life is Strange is an episodic interactive adventure developed by Dontnod Entertainment and published by Square Enix. The plot revolves around 18-year-old Max Caulfield as

she returns to her hometown of Arcadia Bay to pursue her lifelong dream of becoming a photographer at Blackwell Academy. Already struggling to readjust to suburban life, Max suddenly discovers her supernatural ability to rewind time while also experiencing visions of a tornado wiping out Arcadia Bay. In the first episode, Max intermittently uses her newfound powers to navigate through the various social situations she finds herself in throughout the day. One of the first things you’ll notice during your first playthrough of Life is Strange is the game’s distinct look. The game focuses on delivering true artistic immersion through a pastel, vibrant color palette not unlike gazing through an Instagram filter. Nevertheless, I didn’t expect the game to deliver on the level of environment. Nor did I expect lighter touches such as the doodles in Max’s journal or her SMS messages, all of which capture the aesthetic and tone of a chaotic, high school life. The sound design is also notable, especially when it comes to the music and voice acting. In keeping to the theme of teen angst and drama, the soundtrack consists of a medley of folk and melancholic pop; emotional but soft and not overly depressing. The voice acting is a true gem to behold, and few other games have casting of the same caliber. Whether it be high school drama queens, football jocks or introverts, the stellar voice acting gives life and emotional depth to characters without creating needless clichés and stereotypes many of us have come to witness in countless ‘Mean Girls-esque’ derivatives. Every bit of dialogue skillfully weaves gravity and levity into social situations players find themselves in. Life is Strange’s underlying success can be attributed to its interactive storytelling. Players can interact with a variety of elements and characters in the world, influencing outcomes as the story progresses. Over the course of these interactions, players can rewind time and enact the ‘butterfly effect’ in order to achieve a desired outcome. What I find fascinating about ‘rewinding’ is that it encourages players to make mistakes during social interactions, adding immense replay value where players can experiment with the results of their actions before having to commit to them. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself compelled to go through the same episode more than once. Life is Strange does have a few technical hiccups that might pull some players out of the experience. The character animation at times appears stiff and the lip-syncing makes sock puppets feel lifelike by comparison. These aren’t gamebreaking or even remotely aggravating issues; just don’t expect the technical fidelity and grace of a game like Beyond: Two Souls. Ultimately, Life is Strange is... strange, as the name suggests. What could easily have been a recipe for disaster champions the significance of a powerful and deep story something that quite a few games nowadays somewhat neglect. For those who are fans of narrative-rich experiences such as The Walking Dead, Mass Effect, The Wolf Among Us or fans of visual novels such as Hatoful Boyfriend, the first episode of Life is Strange is an interactive experience not to be missed.

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MUSIC NITE FIELDS: DEPERSONALISATION Released: 20 Jan 2015 / Indie Rock & Folk

by Georgia Heighway

Depersonalisation is the brooding and introspective first album from Brisbane fourpiece Nite Fields. The nine-track release is heavily laden with the electronic sheen of dream-pop, but also presents itself as a product of 80s post-punk and modern day shoegaze. The album is both entrancing and consuming; shifting from track to track like the human brain between bouts of dreaming and deep reflection.

A synth-heavy instrumental track is the first song on the album, which works as a nice precursor to prepare the listener for the intense lyrics and breathy voice of Danny Venzin in ‘Fill the Void’. ‘Take the whole of my heart / and fill the void. Every piece blown apart for you to enjoy’, beckons Venzin, who is backed by an echo of electronic ambience, repetitive drums and a rippling electronic riff. Dreary and often self-indulgent, the lyrics of many of the songs on this album would read more like poetry if stripped away from their wall of sound. The melancholia in Depersonalisaiton hits hardest in track four, fittingly titled ‘Come Down’. The post-punk feel is particularly heavy in this track, and as it progresses it becomes reminiscent of some sort of nightmare scene from early 00’s cult classic Donnie Darko. The album is by no means monotonous, showing light and shade through the inclusion of the electronic ambience within ‘Pay for Strangers’ and ‘Winter’s Gone’, which sends the listener off with a dreamier feel. Nite Fields’ first album is a promising introduction to the Brisbane-born band. But don’t expect them to be forthright in defining their genre anytime soon. Choosing to list their only musical influence on Facebook as “Michael Hutchence on a rope”, the band appears to deflect and defer concrete stereotypes and to focus on the integrity of their music.

THE DECEMBERISTS: WHAT A TERRIBLE WORLD, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL WORLD Released: 03 Feb 2015 / Alternative

by Andja Curcic

In What A Terrible World, What A Beautiful World we see The Decemberists cleverly mix their lyrical mastery and folk musings with a more pop-friendly sound. This album demonstrates a turn towards a lighter genre of folk and soft rock that enables the band to explore variety within this jam-packed album. The beginning track ‘The Singer Addresses His Audience’ is a witty response to the band’s recent negative feedback on their changing sound. The lead singer Colin Meloy sings “We had to change some,” as indeed they have. The track itself builds from a simplistic texture to a melody in violin, piano, electric guitar and group vocals. The track ‘Make You Better’ is a complete and utter hit from start to finish. Though it does play with pop elements, Colin Meloy’s lyrics are intensely emotional and clever. Again we see the band’s knack for contemplative storytelling and a real attention to writing within their music.

by Emma Green

BOOK AFTERWORLDS Author: Scott Westerfeld Published: 23 Sep 2014 by Simon Pulse Genre: Young Adult, Fantasy General Summary: Darcy Patel has put college and everything else on hold to publish her teen novel, Afterworlds. Arriving in New York with no apartment or friends she wonders whether she’s made the right decision until she falls in with a crowd of other seasoned and fledgling writers who take her under their wings… Told in alternating chapters is Darcy’s novel, a suspenseful thriller about Lizzie, a teen who slips into the ‘Afterworld’ to survive a terrorist attack. But the Afterworld is a place between the living and the dead and as Lizzie drifts between our world and that of the Afterworld, she discovers that many unsolved - and terrifying - stories need to be reconciled. And when a new threat resurfaces, Lizzie learns her special gifts may not be enough to protect those she loves and cares about most.

Afterworlds is a work of Young Adult fiction, about Young Adult fiction. Darcy is an eighteen-year-old author fresh out of high school who is about to move to New York. Lizzie is the main character of Darcy’s paranormal novel, Afterworlds. Darcy and Lizzie’s chapters alternate, so you get to read Darcy’s novel which is integrated with stories of her life. Add onto that the fact that there’s an author of the book itself, and everything becomes hilariously meta. There’s wonderful satire in the selfawareness. Lizzie’s story is full of traditional young adult paranormal romance tropes, and Darcy’s perspectives on them become evident in other chapters. Westerfeld knows exactly what he’s doing as he talks about the average paranormal young adult novel, cultural appropriation and writing habits. He subtly laughs at almost everything. Life imitates art and vice versa, so his comments about the flaws and clichés of the young adult writing scene extend to society at large. But as much as Westerfeld pokes fun at his profession, you can see how much he loves it. I tried hard to want to skip Darcy’s or Lizzie’s chapters, but the suspense between them drew me in, and they tie together so intricately. Darcy deals with agents and authors, and a character who is basically a version of John Green, a prominent real-life author, who makes several cameos; Lizzie handles ghosts, the afterworlds, and her new abilities as a psychopomp, or soul guide. The two storylines play off each other, especially as Lizzie’s story is driven mainly by plot, whereas the better-developed characters of Darcy’s chapters drive her narrative. Separately, the halves of Afterworlds would not be as engaging as the whole thing.

The book has been called unrealistic for its depiction of the publishing industry, since Darcy gets a book deal so swiftly, but while immersed in the content, we are compelled to trust that Westerfeld represents it faithfully enough. What is certainly realistic about the novel is its reflection of the outside world, which is, though many books and films try to tell you otherwise, not populated solely by straight, white people. Darcy is Gujarati, and has a same-sex relationship. She takes inspiration from the Hindu Vedas in her Afterworlds. Extra points for broadening the spectrum of young adult literature, and presenting the normal as normal. Afterworlds isn’t the deepest of novels, even with its ghosts and layers of self-reflection, nor is it hugely emotionally destructive. It’s funny, enjoyable and intriguing, and thoroughly recommended.

‘Carolina Low’ is another magical track reminiscent of the folk classic ‘House of the Rising Sun’. Utilising the timeless melodic phrases of blues and folk, the singer’s echoing vocals combined with smooth guitar arpeggios create an atmospheric experience. The mystery of this tune is enhanced by the steady kick drum and dispersion of an organ accompaniment. Overall, every song on What A Terrible World, What A Beautiful World tells a unique story and plays with different instruments, atmospheres and textures. Within this album there is an eclectic mix of humour, emotion and deep introspection. With their lighter sound, The Decemberists have become raw and simplistic with tunes that tell a story leaving you feeling haunted.

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18TH FEBRUARY

FILM AMERICAN SNIPER MA15+ / 132 minutes / Action Biography

Director: Clint Eastwood Writers: Jason Hall Starring: Bradley Cooper, Sienna Miller, Kyle Gallner General Summary: Navy SEAL sniper Chris Kyle’s pinpoint accuracy saves countless lives on the battlefield and turns him into a legend. Back home to his wife and kids after four tours of duty, however, Chris finds that it is the war he can’t leave behind by Andre Brimo

The question, ‘Is American Sniper a good movie?’ is easily answered: yes, it definitely is. The other questions it raises are not. Although this masterfully directed and terrifically acted movie presents the story of Chris Kyle with emotional weight and respect, it avoids raising some important, challenging questions. Technically the movie is hard to fault. The visual effects, sound editing, costumes and sets come together perfectly to recreate a war zone in Fallujah- where Kyle spends four tours of duty. The sense of danger is palpable. The stark reality of the war zone is on display for the viewer to take in. The action is tense and jarring. The story of Chris Kyle is presented as that- his life is portrayed as objectively as possible, and the film does not glorify nor demonise what he does. The raw, gripping opening scene, in which Kyle must kill a child

that is carrying a grenade, makes it appear that the film will raise some tough questions about the ambiguity of Kyle’s actions, but the film disappoints on this front.

“THE STARK REALITY OF THE WAR ZONE IS ON DISPLAY FOR THE VIEWER TO TAKE IN.” The political implications may leave a bad taste in some viewer’s mouths. The lack of well-rounded Iraqi characters is worrying in this type of film. Few Iraqis feel like complete characters, and are either the perpetra-

tors of terrorism or its victims. The enemies of the US military are referred to repeatedly as ‘savages’, and there is a villain who is definitely savage- ‘The Butcher’, portrayed by Mido Hamada, created for the film. His presence is effective in creating danger and menace, but his use of a drill to torture his victims and hideout full of body parts puts him more at home in a slasher movie. These elements impose a black and white viewpoint on an otherwise apolitical film- if Chris Kyle’s enemies are this monstrous, the moral ambiguity in his actions, and by extension, America’s military intervention, is lost. Dramatic tension, however, is gained. One theme the film does not shy away

from is the psychological effects of war and PTSD on veterans and their families. The scenes at Kyle’s home are a startling contrast to the war, and the plain cinematography and sparse musical cues effectively sell the stillness and eerie silence after the noisy storms of the war scenes. Chris Kyle’s inability to leave the war behind is channeled amazingly as Bradley Cooper’s performance becomes chilling. Despite the troubling politics and its sacrifice of moral ambiguity for dramatic tension, American Sniper is an incredibly crafted movie from a great director that reminds us of the horrific challenges veterans and their families face.

don’t mind the odd anal-penetration gag, and die-hard fans of these guys obviously don’t mind at all. The duo-ensemble feels like a throwback to Pineapple Express but it’s the buddy-romance between Skylark and Kim, not Skylark and Rapaport, that really steals the show.

bizarrely charismatic man who only craved his father’s approval (and to drink Mojitos and listen to Kay Perry while driving Joseph Stalin’s tank). Whether this leads to better roles for Park is debatable since The Interview isn’t exactly busting any Hollywood Asian stereotypes, but there’ll hopefully be more recognition of him among audiences from now on. Ignoring the last 60 years of US-North Korea relations, it’s hard to see why anyone would bother to threaten warfare over this film. It’s fun, but not $17-for-a-student-ticket fun. The irony is that more people will probably watch it now than if it were released in major cinemas. So if you’re going to watch it, make sure you do what I did and illegally download it.

by Maggie Sheen

THE INTERVIEW MA15+ / 112 minutes / Action Comedy

Directors: Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg Writers: Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg, Dan Sterling Starring: Seth Rogen, James Franco, Randall Park

General Summary: Dave Skylark and producer Aaron Rapoport run the celebrity tabloid show “Skylark Tonight.” When they land an interview with a surprise fan, North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un, they are recruited by the CIA to turn their trip to Pyongyang into an assassination mission.

Plenty of films have had the honour of being banned, but less can take credit for inciting the kind of international political crisis that could lead to total global annihilation. The Interview, which follows the story of interviewer-to-the-stars Dave Skylark (Franco) and his producer Aaron Rapaport (Rogen) traversing into North Korea to interview President Kim Jong-un (Park) and then assassinate him for the CIA, managed to do just that. North Korea called it offensive, allegedly retaliated with what President Obama called ‘cybervandalism’, and Sony withdrew the film only to release it online after people cried ‘Murica!’ While it makes an entertaining 112 minutes, it’s hardly worth losing a nuke over. There’s something to be said for the idea that good humour punches up instead of down. The difficulty Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg (who co-directed with Rogen) and James Franco encounter is that it’s hard to punch up when you’re a rich, straight, white guy unless you’re punching a richer, straighter, whiter guy. A better version of The Interview might have featured Rogen and Franco sneaking into NewsCorp headquarters to assassinate Rupert Murdoch. It’s still funny, though, as long as you

“THERE’S SOMETHING TO BE SAID FOR THE IDEA THAT GOOD HUMOUR PUNCHES UP INSTEAD OF DOWN”. The best thing about The Interview is Randall Park, who turns what could’ve been a hammy portrayal of President Kim into a

ISSUE NO. 1

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SUDOKU

FOXCATCHER MA15+ / 134 minutes / Biography Drama

Directors: Bennett Miller Writers: E. Max Frye, Dan Futterman Starring: Steve Carell, Channing Tatum, Mark Ruffalo

General Summary: The greatest Olympic Wrestling Champion brother team joins Team Foxcatcher led by multimillionaire sponsor John E. du Pont as they train for the 1988 games in Seoul - a union that leads to unlikely circumstances. by Sam Langshaw

Foxcatcher is a true crime film that wants desperately to be so much more than what its real-life events dictate. It aspires to be a great modern tragedy of competing elements, but there is little substance at its core. The film is the story of billionaire John Du Pont (Steve Carell) taking Olympic champion wrestlers Mark and David Schultz under his wing in preparation for the 1988 Seoul Olympics. While David (Mark Ruffalo) initially declines the offer in order to not displace his family and coaching career, the less charismatic and solitary Mark (Channing Tatum) revels at the opportunity. Though Du Pont lures Mark in by talking of success in the face of expectations, he soon begins treating him like a toy he doesn’t know if he wants to keep. Coming off previous films Capote (2005), and Moneyball (2011), director Bennett Miller again succeeds in creating a film with a distinct atmosphere. His command of sound and dialogue is excellent. For much of the film’s opening half hour, there is little dialogue as Miller drops us into this bleak world of silence and diegetic noise. The first scene of Mark and Dave together as they wordlessly train is an exercise in showing and not telling. As the pair move with one another effortlessly in a display of affection and aggression, we begin to understand their dynamic. Yet subtle moments like this are tarnished by others which blatantly shoehorn the film’s Big Messages, as when Du Pont releases his mother’s prize winning horses from their stables after her death. It’s a metaphor. The film often becomes lost, meandering through tangents that are never resolved and introducing characters whose names we barely learn. Foxcatcher flirts with the ideas

of greed, ego and the American Dream, but they don’t coalesce into a cohesive whole. The film comes across as increasingly selfaggrandising as Mark and Du Pont discuss how America as a nation has failed to recognise the sport of wrestling and how they will build something important, together. Yet we are left wanting. We want to understand more about the pair. In the two hours we spend with these characters, Miller never succeeds in capitalising on the dramatic potential of the pair who both desire familial approval. In forcing his audience to wait for something big and dramatic to happen in the climax, Miller loses us. His efforts in subtlety and restraint come at odds with the basic task of maintaining our interest, and of providing any legitimate explanation for the tragic ending. The saving grace of Foxcatcher is its cast. Carell, Tatum and Ruffalo give excellent performances as they lose themselves in their characters to the point of being unrecognisable. Beyond his prosthetic nose and teeth, Steve Carell is able to mix quiet aggression with uncomfortable humour to leave the audience confused, unsure of whether his wavering and long, confused pauses are inviting laughter. As the film’s human centre, Ruffalo is the only actor who properly expresses himself. One of the film’s best scenes shows him growing more and more frustrated as he struggles to call Du Pont his mentor for a film crew. He refuses to be sucked into the same world of greed and blind ambition that his brother has. In recreating real, well-known figures, the film stalls and uses its imagination to its detriment. Instead, Bennett has chosen to explain much of Du Pont’s behaviour at the hands of his mommy issues and wanting to put his own trophies on the mantle. He is presented to us as an eccentric billionaire whose erratic behaviour comes from his overarching boredom. In actual fact and importantly, Du Pont was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, a fact which is never touched on. It is also suggested that some of Du Pont’s strange behaviour comes from his possible homosexuality, a fact which is strongly hinted at as he wakes Mark up in the middle of the night and insist they wrestle. It is a problematic depiction of repressed homosexuality which the film treats with little tact. Ultimately, the film fails to become the all-encompassing American epic Miller desperately wants it to be. His strength instead comes from creating and maintaining the film’s very bleak and unsettling atmosphere that is layered on thick throughout the film’s overlong 134 minutes.

REGINA OF COMEDY Three cats are competing in a swimming race. There’s an Aussie cat named “one two three”, a German cat named “ein zwei drei”, and a French cat named “un deux trois”.

Q. What do you call an alligator in a vest? A. An investigator Q. Why can’t you trust atoms?

The cats all swim across a lake. The Aussie cat finishes first, the German cat finishes second, but the French cat is nowhere to be found, because the un deux trois quatre cinq.

A. They make up everything A Buddhist walked up to a hot dog stall and said, “Make me one with everything”.

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18TH FEBRUARY

HOROSCOPES

SEX COLUMN by Carmen Roath

by Cameron Hart

St. Valentine’s Day, a day for lovers to clasp at each other and furiously masticate with each other. Valentine’s Day is but 24 hours in a month of potential love for you. Join us as Cameron Hart predicts your love life with the illumination and sense of a glowworm.

PIECES

(20 Feb - 20 Mar) Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you’re a lovesick idiot who makes poor decisions.

AQUARIUS

CANCER

ARIES

(21 Mar - 20 Apr) This month clarity will find its way into your life. You may experience the end of a romantic entanglement, which is the best possible outcome. I mean, what’s the point of dating in university, anyway? Nobody’s rich yet.

TAURUS

(21 Apr - 21 May) This month several holes will appear in various areas of your life. Take them how you will.

GEMINI

(22 May - 22 Jun) You’ll be very busy this month, and may struggle to balance romantic and professional commitments. Because of this, you may find it hard to make time for you and your partner to reconnect physically and emotionally, but you know what they say: a blow job is better than no job.

AGONY AUNT

by Cecil Hide-Sainsbury

Cecil Hyde-Sainsbury III is a Sydney University student who has graciously descended from his ivory tower to offer sage advice to us mere mortals. Cecil is a double degree student of Law and Law. He one day hopes to destroy people’s lives and become rich. For now, he is happy to talk down to you as Vertigo’s brand new Agony Aunt.

(21 Jan - 19 Feb) You’ll be feeling the heat this month, and I’m not talking about that scorching summer weather. Be sure to stay safe; both in the sun and bedroom, and continue to make wise decisions. After all, it’s a proven fact that children are the worst kind of STD, just ask your parents.

(23 Jun - 23 Jul) You will experience new things this month. Or maybe just old things you did whenyou were drunk but don’t really remember so well.

LEO

(24 Jul - 23 Aug) Love. Lust. Pizza. Something pleasurable this way comes (literally). So, keep an eye out for those flirty smiles in your tutes and local cafés, because nothing says ‘ready for a relationship’ like desperately reading horoscopes for emotional reassurance.

VIRGO

(24 Aug - 23 Sep) This month you may feel disconnected from romantic and sexual opportunities. Perhaps it is time to look inside yourself and evaluate the worth of the positive and negative energies your life. Alternatively, you could stop being such a little bitch and just get Tinder.

Q: Dear Agony Aunt, as I am about to start university. I am worried about peer pressure and the sheer amount of drinking I might be expected to do. Do you have any tips on how to avoid this? Drunk on sobriety. A: Hi there, Drunk on Sobriety. Peer pressure is certainly a big problem. When I was living at St. Andrew’s College, I was constantly expected to wear a Ralph Lauren Polo and sweater on my self at all times, which I found completely absurd as I had just purchased the entire Gucci Summer Collection when I was in Milan over the summer. But to your problem, I find the best way to avoid your peers pressuring you to get drunk is to start drinking before them. Personally, I like to start each day with a shot of Glenfidditch so that by the time my chums ask me along to the local drinking house, I am already lightly toasted. I picked up this technique from my dear Uncy Monty, who I later learned died from liver failure at the age of 27. Q: I’m beginning to regret going to UTS. What should I do? Concerned 1st Year. A: Oh my, I can completely understand where you are coming from. When I was 11, Daddy and Mumsie took me on safari to the Serengeti. It was terribly warm there and I packed far too many pairs of loafers. While

LIBRA

(24 Sept - 23 Oct) You may find yourself tempted to read a John Green novel this month, and cling desperately to cliché sentiment about the one that got away. Don’t bother. You wouldn’t chase tequila, so why would you chase them?

SCORPIO

(24 Oct - 22 Nov) Looks like this month your little black book is going to be more filled than the most ‘popular’ girl from your high school. Be mindful to write neatly and minimise stains.

SAGITTARIUS

(23 Nov - 21 Dec) Don’t sacrifice everything for love, because that’s what Lily Potter did and look how well that turned out for her.

CAPRICON

(22 Dec - 20 Jan) There’s only one piece of advice for you this month: no orgies.

I thoroughly enjoyed seeing the animals in their local habitat, I did note how uncivilised they were. I shouted to Mumsie that I wanted to leave straight away and return to the plush halls of our luxurious hotel, where the local denizens were noted for their grace, and vastly superior intelligence. Concerned 1st Year, in this obvious metaphor you are the animals and I am myself. Naturally, as an animal you belong in squalor, and thus I hope you enjoy your time at UTS. Q: Dear Agony Aunt, my high school girlfriend and I are going to different universities. I am worried that she will meet new people and abandon me. Help! Helpless Romantic A. Well, well, well Helpless Romantic, seems like you’re having quite the issue. Thankfully, there is an easy answer; have an affair. I first discovered affairs during my parents’ first divorce, where I learnt that my first Nanny who was later my second Mumsie had been cavorting with Daddy. I had my first affair at age 15, which my butler assured me was a thoroughly normal age in which to practice infidelity. I simply cannot recommend this course of action highly enough. It saved not only my parents’ second and fourth marriages, but also my first and third!

Historically speaking, sex is nothing new. I mean really, when you think about it, every single one of your ancestors got laid (congrats btw). Genetically speaking, even the most aesthetically unfortunate of people nowadays would have to be totes hotter than even the most bangable of the Victorian-period bourgeois. To surmise, times have changed. Yet there has recently been a revival of debate among the elderly and those bizarre people who use the word ‘thus’ unironically about the inescapable nature of sex in our society. Sex is everywhere; it sells, it begs, it wants you in the middle of the bed with teeth and thighs and convulsions. Sex is good, and everybody knows it. But is any of this really news? In many ways, no. If every living person’s ancestors all had sex, then the chances that someone, somewhere, somewhen hadn’t done this all before would be ridiculously improbable. However, following the development of the social phenomenon that old men with erectile dysfunction would disdainfully call “hook-up culture”, the children of modernity have not only been getting a lot more sex, but we’ve been telling more people about it. Can we attribute this new ‘pseudo-culture’ of blatant promiscuity and selfexploration to the globalisation of sexual independence, which has liberated us from the more restrictive side of traditional relationships? (Monogamy, I’m looking at you.) Recently, a friend of mine returned from Melbourne, radiating with the success of having fulfilled his New Years’ resolution* of doing the deed in every Australian capital. I was determined to discover just what about his unique insight into human sexuality had proliferated itself so deeply into the modern psyche: starting with his sexcapades. Like all narcissists, he was a raconteur to a fault, making even a blowjob in a public bathroom seem like a spa day at the Four Seasons. Yet there was something about the glint in his eye as he described the sense of adventure, liberation, and pride that he derived from his wanton adventures in the night. This leads me to believe that our modern preoccupation with talking about sex is one of the many side effects of being constantly on display with the ubiquity on social media. This high level of interpersonal connectivity has called attention to our inherent narcissism and our desire to expose ourselves so that we may bask in the limelight. It’s safe to say that sex has become something of a social currency; living in an age where information is instantaneous and knowledge is power, the intimate details of our own lives become the leverage with which we climb the cutthroat social hierarchy determined by an individual’s perceived prestige and prominence. Once upon a time, my elder sister – having sown her fair share of wild oats – told me: “liking a person is so much better than liking attention” and until recently, I truly believed her. But in a time when the thoughts and opinions of an individualare lost in the oncoming flood of the dominant ideas of the modern world, maybe it’s time we accept that society may never accept the vanity and sexuality that pervades everything we do. But honestly, if we’re going to do anything we might as well just f-ck (it). *My New Years’ Resolution is to be the same cool person I’ve been all my beautiful life.

ISSUE NO. 1

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18TH FEBRUARY

100% HITSTERIA

by Lisa Fremont

by June Murtagh

Anyone looking to attend a music festival over the year is advised to do so with caution following the outbreak of hitsteria, a virus which can be defined as: “Paying hundreds of dollars to attend a festival when in reality, you only care about one, maybe two, songs by three, maybe four, headline acts.” Medical professionals are warning festivalgoers to keep an eye out for symptoms of hitsteria, which, if left untreated, results in the infected human transforming into a fullblown ‘hitster’. “Hitsters are quite easy to identify and should be avoided at all costs,” warns medical officer Dr Stopthat. “Symptoms of the disease include shouting at an artist to play [hit song], singing along obnoxiously loudly to [hit song], and generally being disgruntled until [hit song] is played. If you’ve been in contact with a hitster and find yourself doing any of these things, seek help immediately.” We tried to speak to one young henna-

GOVERNMENT ROLLS OUT ‘SATIRE-PROOF’ HASHTAGS

covered hitster about her opinion on the matter, but before we could receive any comment, Matt Corby’s ‘Brother’ started playing at a nearby stage, and we lost her to the rapidly growing crowd. The self-confessed ‘number one fan’ seemed unaware that Corby was already forty minutes into his set. Festival Manager Mark Fowler urges loyal attendees to take caution when in the presence of a hitster. “Their dance moves tend to be quite aggressive, which makes sense considering they’re usually only on their feet for about three and a half minutes per set. They store up their energy for these moments, so don’t worry; they’ll be exhausted as soon as the song is over.” Vertigo is currently trying to track down a man who shouted, “Play some originals!” during Bon Iver’s ‘Skinny Love’. Anyone who has information on this man should report to festival staff immediately.

The government was left embarrassed last week when its hashtag ‘#ImStickingWithTony’ was usurped by the Prime Minister’s opponents. Hoping to minimise the damage, the government attempted to introduce the hashtage‘#UnironicSupport4Tony’ to similarly disastrous results. “I’m providing #UnironicSupport4Tony to step down as PM” one tweeter tweeted. “If Abbott wanted to kill himself, I’d provide #UnironicSupport4Tony”, another disgruntled Twitter-haver remarked. Even more people used the hashtag to show support for non-prime ministerial Tonys, such as head of the fictional Sopranos family or Cereal Mascot Tony the Tiger. Others seemed to be confused and thought they were showing support for Tony Blair. Realising their mistake, the Federal Government, who has spent over $20 million of taxpayer dollars on the campaign, introduced another hashtag ‘#AbbottShould-

BePM’ a few days later. The hashtag was in use for less then an hour before one Tweeter tweeted ‘I agree #AbbottShouldBePM… of Iraq! ROFLMAO!!”. This predictably lead to various tweeters attempting to tell the same joke with different regions; Afghanistan, Tatooine and Sweden being the most popular suggestions. Keen to reduce their embarrassment, the government today announced the launch of a ‘comedy free’ hashtag which, they boasted, would be ‘satire-proof and fundamentally without humour’. The hashtag was revealed to be “#UnironicSupportForAnthonyJohnAbbottToRemainAsThePrimeMinisterOfAustraliaUntilTheNextElectionWhereHeWillProbablyStillWinBecauseAustraliaWantsCommonSenseLeadershipAndAGovernmentThatWillStopTheBoatsAndBringTheBudgetBackIntoSurplusAfterTheMessLabourHasLeftUsWith” There has been no word yet as to whether the Government understands that Twitter has a character limit.

ABBOTT COLD-BLOODED ON MOST THINGS IT TURNS OUT by Chris Mckay

Last Monday’s leadership spill is the inevitable culmination of all the criticism aimed at Tony Abbott since his election. It’s renewed old grievances about the Budget, about broken promises and about a leader seemingly unwilling to consult with the party. But throughout the entire process, no one in the mainstream media has been asking the really important question: Is Tony Abbott a giant alien lizard? This question posed itself after watching an interview Mr Abbott gave to the ABC following the spill. When asked why he thought his party had become unsatisfied with his leadership he replied, “I don’t want to say I’m infallible. I’m after all only... err... human”. An unusual word to forget in the middle of an important interview, isn’t it? But people make mistakes, maybe it was just a slip of the tongue. Politicians are known for their confusion on various issues, but it was here Abbott revealed another aspect about himself, one that is known to be a trait of many politicians - his tongue is forked. During the previous election this had come up but the electorate had simply dismissed it as being one of his personality quirks, like the fact he enjoyed wearing Speedos or how he could blink sideways. It was only after Tony Abbott spit acid in

the face of a Labor back-bencher and spoke in parseltongue that Abbott revealed himself to be something different altogether – a lizardman from beyond the moon. This is not the only strange behaviour that could be attested to an extraterrestrial origin. In early 2014 the company responsible for catering The Lodge, the Prime Ministers Canberra house, noticed a strange deviation in the orders they were receiving.

“ABBOTT WRITES “P.S. I’M A LIZARD. NOT AN EARTH-LIZARD, A SPACELIZARD. I’M ONLY WEARING THIS HUMAN SKIN TO CONQUER THE PLANET...” As the head of the company put it, “We normally get pretty much the same request each month. Meat, veg, etc. but Tony Abbott wasn’t ordering any of that, in fact, he was only requesting frozen mice.” There are plenty of reasonable explanations as to why Tony Abbott would stop eating food in favour of dead mice - perhaps he is on a paleo diet. Abbott changing the food orders he places doesn’t make him any more of a space reptile than the fact he re-

quests The Lodge be kept at a constant 28 degrees and had construction work done on a private basking area. All of this can be dismissed, but the strongest piece of evidence actually comes from an email Tony Abbott sent Joe Hockey on March 3rd 2014. The email is mostly about governmental practice and the importance of communication, but after signing off, Abbott writes “P.S. I’m a lizard. Not an earth-lizard, a space-lizard. I’m only wearing this human skin to conquer the planet. We can talk more Monday.” The Liberal Party, however, has been notoriously quick to shut down any interview once the question of Tony Abbott originating for another planet and being sent here by the Reptilian Empire to enslave us is mentioned. When approached for comment for this article, a Liberal Party spokesman responded, “Any talk of Tony Abbott being a reptile, is absolutely absurd, and clearly just a distraction from the big political political issues, such as the economy and bringing the budget back to surplus. Mr Abbott is a proud Australian, a devote Catholic and apostle of the Grey Council of Andromeda VII.”

ISSUE NO. 1

18TH FEBRUARY University of Technology Sydney Student Publication

TONY ABBOTT REVERTS AUSTRALIA TO MONARCHY, IAMBIC PENTAMETER by L.B. Jefferies

After narrowly avoiding a leadership upset, Prime Minister Tony Abbott has made another controversial ‘Captain’s Call’ and appointed himself King of Australia. Despite criticism from both sides of politics that the decision will move Australia backwards, King Abbott has stated “O vile and treacherous words! What spawned thee?” In a prepared statement, King Abbott called for solidarity, wanting to return Australia to ‘businessas usual’. “The corruption of division grows not from without, but originates within ourselves,” His Royal Highness remarked, while reclining on the throne he had installed in his office “and we must act as one, unified either by word, by faith or by sword.” Mr Abbott’s decision has been met with considerable controversy, with Opposition Leader Bill Shorten maintaining that the decision proves King Abbott is out of touch with the Australian people. “His Lordship, so proclaimed by few, sits removed from those he would claim dominion over. Will you, citizens of our nation fair, permit such transgression?” Mr Shorten also accused King Abbott of ‘underhanded’ tactics, such as locking the children of Opposition frontbenchers in a tower. Lady Credlin, advisor to His Lordship, called imprisonment claims “absurd” and “the wit of fools who know not from whence the wind blows”. King Abbott, may his reign be prosperous, has also been met with mixed responses from his cabinet with his most vocal support coming from Lord of the Houses of Gold and Silver, Joe Hockey. Malcolm Turnbull, the Royal Spymaster, however, has renewed his call for Australia to become a republic. Speaking at a protest on Tuesday, Mr Turnbull stressed the importance of Australians regaining control of their country. “Does not a shrew, or fox, or hound have rights to dig their mound where they wilt? Should now you, friends, children of Australia, have fewer freedoms than a rat in a hole?” However, Turnbull’s statements have not been met positively. King Abbott, highest of the Lords and chosen by the Almighty, has renounced Turnbull’s statements as heretical, and banished him. Although unconfirmed, it is believed that Mr Turnbull has retreated to France, where he has begun building an army. King Abbott, beloved of the people, and charged with the solemn protection of womenfolk, dismissed any threat of a leadership challenge, stating that he is confident this is the government the Australian people want, and that none of woman born can harm him.