Issue Seven - 2013

ISSUE 07 ‘THE (IN)VISIBLE EDITION’

EDITORS Mairead Armstrong Lachlan Bennett Sally Coleman Fiona Dunne Tessa Feggans Frances Mao Joe McKenzie Naomi Russo Zara Selman Hannah Story

CREATIVE DIRECTORS Sunyoung Hwang Catherine Lao

CO NTENTS

CREATIVE TEAM Minh Bui Ana-Clarise Rueda

COVER IMAGE Rodney Chan

ADVERTISING Stephanie King

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CONTRIBUTORS Joseph Bautista Annabel Blackman James Bourne Rudi Bremer Emily Brugman Declan Gooch Liana Hampson Whitney Higginson Brynn Kelly Kaitlin Lake

Madelaine Lucas Samuel Millsom Felicity Pickering Maya Rose Bella Westaway Jessica Xu

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Vertigo would like to show its respect and acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of the land, the Gadigal and Guring-gai people of Eora Nation, upon whose ancestral lands the university now stands. More than 500 Indigenous Nations shared this land for over 40 000 years before invasion. We express our solidarity and continued commitment to working with Indigenous peoples, in Australia and around the world, in their ongoing struggle for land rights, self determination, sovereignty, and the recognition of and compensation for past injustices.

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This is our disclaimer so we don’t get sued by nast y organisations or individuals. The contents of Vertigo do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Students’ Association or the Editors. This one is on you.

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CALENDAR

E DITORIAL Hi guys, Well, here we are again. This edition of Vertigo has crept up on us slowly but surely, like high tide on an unconscious British backpacker at Bondi Beach on Boxing Day morning.

It’s already Edition 7, and this time around we’ve stamped the magazine with the tenuous, but appropriate, theme of visibility and invisibility.

This could be bec ause there are seven colours in th e r ainb ow, o r b e c au s e a t y p i c al hum an eye will re sp o n d to lig ht in w ave l e ng ths of up to 70 0 nanometres. Or perhaps it’s because a human optic nerve contains between 770 000 and 1.7 million nerve fibres. Or maybe it’s because we realised that Galileo, the father of the telescope, died aged 77.

But most likely, our theme comes from the content of this edition, which explores both the people who are often in the limelight and those who struggle to be seen.

This edition, Jessica Xu comes out swinging with an insight ful and grit t y ex aminati o n of the issues surrounding homelessness. Madelaine Lucas follows this up with an impassioned critique of the stigma surrounding feminism and a call to arms for modernday Riot Grrrls. Meanwhile, we attempt to shed some light on the rapid spread of anti-abortion clubs across university campuses in Australia. While Rudi Bremer goes on to discuss the impor tance of foregrounding Indigenous Australian history in the national curriculum and Christopher Pyne’s conservative agenda. And on the lighter side, we’ve got an interview with Boy and Bear and a brand new column from Joseph Bautista, as well as all of your old favourites.

So even if you find your eyes falling shut in lectures, at least you’re in for an eye-opening edition of Ver tigo (we are so sorry about this joke). And, as always, if you can write, draw, devise hilarious chemistry puns, take photos, gossip, or just scribble out brilliant ideas, make sure you get in touch with us at submissions@utsvertigo. com.au. If fame and glory isn’t enough to tempt you, just think how proud your mum will be.

Peace, love and hangovers, Sally and The Vertigo team

WEEK 3

WEEK 4

WEEK 5

Monday 12th August

Tuesday 20th August

Wednesday 28th August

7th issue of Vertigo hits the stands today

Kuring-gai High Tea 9:30am & 2pm @ Kuring-gai Foyer

UTS World Fiesta Cultural Night 6pm @ The Glasshouse

Wednesday 21st August

Friday 30th August

UTS Birthday on the Green 11am – 3pm @ Alumni Green

Big Scary 7:30pm @ Factory Theatre

Thursday 22nd August

Snakadaktal 8pm @ Metro Theatre

UTS Queer Pride Week

Tuesday 13th August Comedy Night feat. Peter Berner 7pm @ The Loft

Wednesday 14th August Pride Week Fair Day 12pm – 3pm @ Tower Building Concourse

Thursday 15th August Pride Week ‘Show Your Colours’ Party 7pm @ The Loft

Friday 16th August Mid-semester exam timetable released

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Blues & Grooves 7pm @ The Hi-Fi

Back to the Future Trivia Night 5:30pm @ Great Hall UTS Band Comp 7pm @ The Glasshouse

Friday 23rd August UTS Roller Disco 6pm @ Tower Building forecourt

Saturday 24th August UTS roller rink closes today

Blow your whistle baby, whistle, baby, let us know. Send your off-the-record tip offs to frances @ utsvertigo.com.au

WHEN NEWS (OR A CRANE) BREAKS, TURN TO PAGE 6 FOR ALL THE CAMPUS NEWS, GOSSIP, AND DOWNRIGHT SLANDER THAT’LL LAST A THREE-WEEK PRINT RUN.

NEW DEGREE TEACHES STUDENTS HOW TO THINK Declan Gooch

A brand new degree in business innovation is about to be unveiled by UTS once it receives final approval from the university regulator.

The undergraduate course has not yet received a CRICOS code, the code which allows its promotion to international students, so its name and specific details have not been divulged by the university.

However it is understood that the degree will focus on problem solving, conceptual thinking and entrepreneurship with the university’s trademark interdisciplinary emphasis.

Jo McKenzie, director of the Institute for Interactive Media and Learning and overseer of the course planning process, says a degree like this takes a long time to come together.

“The main thing is the research that people need to do, the design process that people need to know, around what is it going to look like,” McKenzie said.

One of the most important decisions in the three-step course development process, in which various committees examine the concept for financial viability, quality and legal compliance, is deciding what to name the degree.

Vertigo understands that names

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considered include ‘Bachelor of Innovation Leadership’, ‘Bachelor of Creative Cognition’, ‘Bachelor of Creative Futures’ and ‘Bachelor of Innovation Studies’.

As part of the course’s naming process, peer networkers were asked to vote on a selection of names or suggest their own – a practice faculties regularly use to narrow down options.

“Names are really important ... for both legal reasons and also I guess to communicate to potential students what this course is going to be about,” McKenzie said.

If a course’s name is clear and straightforward, McKenzie said, “people can put it on their CV and it’s really clear what kind of qualification they have”.

But in some cases, a less specific name may appeal to students who want a broad range of career opportunities at the end of the day.

Many UTS courses offer highly career-focussed outcomes which involve real-life experience and an emphasis on practical learning.

But McKenzie says that the key to a successful course is consulting with industry – the organisations that graduates will be working for – about what they’re after in a student straight out of university, whether it be theoretical knowledge or practical skills.

“We can then say ‘okay, this fits with who we are as a university’ ... and we can really see some great career opportunities in the future if they do this kind of course.”

The new degree will be formally announced later this year.

SPEAKING ABOUT OUR SUBJECTS Lachlan Bennett

Engineering and IT students continue a five-semester streak of being the least satisfied with the overall quality of their subjects, according to the latest result s from the UTS Student Feedback Survey (SFS).

However, although Engineering/IT has repeatedly ranked last compared to other faculties, subject satisfaction in the facult y has gradually increased over the past two years.

The SFS is conducted every semester and allows students to give anonymous feedback on various element s of their subjects, including assessments, re s ourc e s an d wh eth e r th e subj e c t i s “inte re s ting an d thought provoking”.

“You’re here to learn, so obviously you need a say in how you’re being taught,” Sur vey Coordinator of the UTS Planning and Quality Unit (PQU) Alberto Mendez said.

Students are asked whether or not they agree with nine statement s made about their subject, answering from one to five – five being ‘strongly agree’, three being ‘neutral’ and one being ‘strongly disagree’.

Since 2009, no SFS scores

for any question in all faculties have fallen below 3.50 (midway between ‘neutral’ and ‘agree’).

However in the same period, no SFS scores have risen above 4.40 (midway bet ween ‘agree’ and ‘strongly agree’).

The latest round of result s reve al e d that H e alth s tu de nt s are the most satisfied with the overall qualit y of their subject s , with Health being the only faculty in four years to receive an SFS score above 4.00 (‘agree’) for this question.

Health has per formed comparatively well in the SFS over the past two years with scores for all nine questions improving considerably.

Last semester it was also the faculty with the highest levels of par ticipation in the SFS, with a 54% participation rate compared to 39% in Science, which has the lowest level of participation.

The overall participation rate across the 1044 subjects taught last semester was 4 4% , which is down from 46% during the Autumn 2012 semester.

Par ticipation rates have remained stagnant and below 5 0 % ove r th e p a s t c oup l e of years, but Mendez says this level of participation is high compared to other online sur veys at both UTS and other universities.

Mendez believes that the main reason why some students do n’t p ar ti c ip ate i s b e c a u s e they feel that staff do not take th e ir f e e db a c k s e r i ousl y an d that subjects won’t be changed or improved because of the feedback derived from the SFS. The PQU is working closely

with faculties to ensure that they constructively use SFS result s and communicate to students the changes that have been made.

“It’s not so much communicating the results. It really is communicating what’s been done based on your feedback . . . it really is about making students know that their feedback has been looked at properly, it has been thought about and, where appropriate, things have been changed,” Mendez said.

The PQU hopes this will increase participation rates and ensure a better learning experience for UTS students.

As an added incentive, students who complete the survey are entitled to either credit to their student account, or having a donation made on their behalf to the Smith Family, Australian Red Cross or the World Wildlife Fund.

Between 2010 and 2012, $12 500 in SFS donations has been collected. The money will be presented to the three charities at the annual Union Dinner, held on August 29.

Overall, the SFS continues to reveal that students are more satisfied with how their subjects are taught, rather than the subjects themselves.

Last semester, all faculties except Engineering/IT received an SFS score in the ‘agree’ category (above four) for all three of the questions which ask about the teaching of a subject.

A summary of the SFS results is available on the UTS website.

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UTS DEEPER INSIDER

CELEBRATING 25 YEARS OF UTS BRYNN KELLY

UTS will celebrate its 25th birthday this month with a range of free events for both students and staff.

Celebrations will be held over three days and include high tea at Kuring-gai, a ‘Great Debate’ between UTS students and staff, a wheelchair basketball social competition and a ‘Birthday on the Green’ party with free food stalls, special prizes and carnival style events, held on August 21.

Vice-Chancellor Professor Ross Milbourne believes that the UTS community can be proud of its achievements over the past 25 years and that the upcoming events will help to celebrate this auspicious occasion in the university’s history.

“It is always great to celebrate a milestone and we are doing it in a typical UTS way – understated, and with lots of events that include staff and students,” Professor Milbourne said.

UTS had its humble beginnings as the New South Wales Institute of Technolog y (NSWIT ), which was established in 1964. In August 1988, an inauguration ceremony was held to signify UTS’s establishment as a university.

7

RIOT GRRRLS

DOING IT ROUGH stops to examine the complexities of helping the homeless, and listens to the opinion of one who is frequently ignored.

Photographs taken by Min Kang VERTIGO

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Hundreds of Sydneysiders, huddled inside their pressed suit-jackets, with their scheduled minds, and glowing phone screens, stream past the hightraffic street corner, past this man and his c anine companion. I stop to exchange $6 for a magazine. His dog commands a silent presence, safeguarding his selling spot amidst th e b r u s qu e bu s tl e of Sydn ey ’s rush hour. Having nowhere to rush to, I make small talk and ask how business is going. Little do I know that Campbell, despite having made very little in sales, has a lot to say.

M y sing le qu e s ti on sp ar k s a conver s ation spanning from c e ns o r ship an d th e l a c k of oppor tunities within The Big Issue enterprise it self, to the tokenistic involvement of CEOs in events like sle e p ou t s , th e r idic ulou s s t ate of immigration laws and how our test s for citizenship should value honesty, consideration, and kindness.

Apparently, Campbell’s slow day for business is part of a trend.

He works as a Big Issue vendor, selling magazines and earning half of the cover price. In Australia, The Big Issue was founded in 1996 based on a British social enterprise of the same name, with the aim of giving the homeless and disadvantaged opportunities to work. It proudly aims to give a “hand up, not a hand out”.

Now the vendors in their fluoro yellow vests are regular faces in most major Australian cities. This business model has been lauded as a highly successful not-for-profit, independent social enterprise, generating $16.2 million in income for 4000 people over 16 years.

However, the streng th of a system lies in its power to address its weaknesses, and for some like Campbell, the enterprise that’s meant to help those who’ve fallen through the cracks has its own fissures to address.

Campbell laments a fall in sales since the magazine price increased, as he had predicted, as well as structural barriers to getting another job within The Big Issue . Campbell implies that the magazine’s refusal to publish his concerns feels like a dismissal by the very people who work to help him.

Of course, Campbell isn’t the only one doing it tough this winter.

Sydney facilities for the homeless and disadvantaged are severely lacking, and the rest of Australia is in a similar state. A recent ABC Radio National interview revealed that some rough sleepers are still waiting after eight years on the public housing list. A l ack of shor t-term housing ser vices means that many sleep rough in any space they can find, such as Central Station and the underpass of the Harbour Bridge.

This mammoth issue registered on the national political radar in 2008 when Kevin Rudd led Labor to set the goal of halving homelessness by 2020.

Since then, a White Paper was put together by then Housing Minister Tanya Plibersek, outlining a comprehensive national plan to address the unprecedented 230 000 Australians sleeping rough and 100 000 that remain homeless each night. Up to 25% of these Australians left homeless are Indigenous, grossly disproportionate to the 3% of the population that they represent. Despite the $1 billion that has been invested in solving the issue, homelessness has increased by 17% since 2011 according to a recent report from the Council of Australian Governments’ Reform Council. With nearly 70% of homelessness service providers struggling to meet demands, leaders of the communit y ser vices sectors are calling for a more unified approach. In their largest survey of Australia’s community services sector, the Australian Council of Social Services (ACSS) has found that 52% of Youth Services and 63% of Legal Ser vices could not meet demand. The AC SS concluded that chronic underfunding has crippled community ser vices and that the housing affordability crisis

can no longer be ignored. However, the state of funding remains in limbo with the Coalition yet to commit to this homelessness goal, and uncertainty regarding whether this ambitious target will remain on Labor’s federal agenda going into the election.

There is a voc al communit y working to tackle homelessness in Australia, including mass awareness c ampaigns like the Vinnies CEO Sleepout, Anywhere But A Bed, and Homeless Persons’ Week in August.

Many focus on how easy it can be to fall homeless, and bust the stereotype that homeless people are laz y orchestrators of their own plight. With the growth of such national actions, and more widespread awareness, it seems that political willpower is the only thing missing.

What strikes me most about Campbell is the intelligence evident in his sharp reflections. There is bitterness towards the beggar settled almost permanently out side Myer, untruthfully claiming assistance for medication covered by Medicare, and towards the women who are now paid seven times as much as he was doing the same job of packing magazines as par t of the Women’s Enterprise.

His frustrations extend towards his employers, who won’t let him publish his full, mottled experience as a vendor, and towards the CEOs that shake his hand congratulating him on his

resilience yet balk his request for further employment opportunities. Yet he remains relentlessly committed to honesty, despite knowing that the system has not been made to benefit him and countless others.

In a hyperconnected world where revolutionary protests abroad are in the headlines, it’s easy to overlook those struggling on our own streets, in our parks, under our bridges, and at our train stations. It’s hard to think spare change will help. It’s hard to stop and talk to a stranger who is asking for help. It’s hard to know where to start. But ultimately, isn’t it harder to ignore those who are suffering?

Campbell, with his ideals of honesty and compassion, has a name that means ‘crooked, twisted mouth’ in it s Gaelic origins . It seems he’s been tr ying to prove his namesake wrong his whole life. So let us who are fortunate of circumstance reach out to those struggling to prove their wor th, to def y the expectation of what it is to be homeless and stuck there. Let’s no longer overlook the beggar we pass everyday on the way to uni. L et ’s t ake a s e c on d glance at that cardboard sign. Let’s ask that someone looking for a dollar what their life is like before dismissing them.

Let’s not pretend that homelessness is not real.

9

MADELINE LUCAS ponders her friendship with the F-word.

It seems like ever y day, another celebrit y denounces feminism.

Recently, Beyonce, Taylor Swif t, Gwyneth Paltrow, Lady Gaga, Katy Perry and Sarah Jessica Parker have all tried to distance themselves from any feminist associations, and I can’t help being disappointed. There was a time in my own memory when not only was it not a bad thing to be a feminist, but it was actually kind of fashionable. While I am now old enough and wise enough not to look to pop stars as role models, there was definitely a time when I did, looking for inspiration in the pages of TV Hits and in Saturday morning video clips.

Whenever I think of ‘the ‘90s’ as an era, I separate my associations into two groups: 1. Fashion and music I love now, but that only existed on the periphery for me back then because I was a kid (Pavement and Mazzy Star and that specifically ‘90s vampire/goth chic).

2. What actually defined the ‘90s, the decade of my childhood. For example, The Spice Girls.

Now, I realise that The Spice Girls were not exactly Riot Grrrls. When they sung, “I tell you what I want, what I really, really want”, the answer was not “the end of gender-based violence” or “equal pay for equal work”.

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personas of The Spice Girls would have seemed pale in comparison to other female musicians in the charts during the same era. In the alternative ro c k s c e n e , C our tn ey L ove w a s granting grunge a decidedly female perspective and writing songs about rape and incest, while Liz Phair and Kathleen Hanna were questioning the masculine sexuality embedded in rock music by both mocking it and embodying it simultaneously.

Had I been a Writing and Cultural Studies major in my twenties in the mid-‘90s, I probably also would have been frustrated at the repackaging and commercialisation of the Riot G r r r l m e s s a g e into th e m o re f un , colour ful and marketable notion of Girl Power (all grrrit, grrrunge, and grrrowl removed).

But in 1998, I was eight years old, and the message I received from my pop idols Ginger, Baby, Scary, Sporty and Posh was simple: being a girl is awesome and powerful.

The very fact that this sentiment, if only vaguely feminist, was popular enough to be commercially viable amazes me, seeing as it now seems that the newest trend amongst A-list pop icons is feminist denial. Whether you listened to Hole, Bikini Kill or The Spice Girls in the ‘90s, the female pop icons of the day were presenting the idea that feminism was cool.

I don’t remember exactly when I grew out of The Spice Girls, but it was

definitely post-millennium, probably around the time I started high school.

Somehow, my ideas about girl power got discarded along with the broken butterfly clips and Spice paraphernalia of my childhood, things I no longer needed now that I was ‘A Teenager’.

It is important to note that I never stopped believing in equality (not only bet ween men and women, but for people of all genders, races, abilities and sexual orientations). But if you had asked me at age 15 or 16 if I was a fe mini s t , I p rob ab l y woul d have muttered something along the lines of the popular disclaimers espoused by Katy Perry or Taylor Swift: I am not a feminist but I believe in equal rights (and equal pay. And access to health services and reproductive choices.

Amongst other things).

Part of my doubt was obviously related to being a teenager, and, par ticularly, a teen girl wanting to belong in a societ y that sends conflicting messages about what a girl/woman should be/do/say/look like. But that was only a small aspect of my hesitation. After all, I went to a public girls’ school, and my best friend and I both listened to Hole and Bikini Kill (as did our liberal minded p are nt s , f rom whom we s to l e th e C D s from). I wouldn’t have been isolated for branding myself with the F-word. Although my beliefs didn’t change, I didn’t fight for them, because I felt like I didn’t have to.

Recently I have become aware of flexible enough to mean what I want To rej e c t a label which stands for how much my attitude has changed it to mean. If there is one thing I have what you believe in, purely because of again, and I can’t tell how much of learned from spending days thinking that label, seems counterproductive this is just me alone, or if there is a about both Geri Halliwell and Kathleen and boring. I’m tired of hearing people collective push for women’s rights Hanna, it’s that there is more than one almost apologising for believing in again from society at large. I know way to be a feminist. women’s rights and back-pedaling that for the away from feminism. first time I am I’m tired of hearing confronting the the words, “I’m not Sometimes, we get a label slapped on us that is world without a feminist but...” completely out of our own control. the shelters of It ’s much more family or school, interesting to start I can’t help being seen as A Woman. and that in your a conversation and 20s, things that say instead, “I’m have always a feminist and…” been deemed ‘feminist issues’ – like For a long time, I questioned Ellen Page, one actress in Hollywood access to health facilities and birth calling myself a feminist because I not afraid to call herself a feminist, control, or ideas about the kind of thought it might preclude me from put it succinctly in The Guardian work you can get and how much you being other things. I was afraid that this month, “How could it be any get paid to do it – start to matter in a my allegiance would deny me other more obvious that we still live in a new, shit-getting-real kind of way. choices – that I’d be called a hypocrite patriarchal world when feminism is When I was a child, I thought I if I wore make up or decided to marry a bad word?” would grow up and become an adult, a man one day or wanted to procreate.

There is an argument that one and go about being the adult I wanted I was misguided into thinking that can fight for women’s rights without to be, achieving whatever dreams feminism came with a set of rules. adopting the feminist label, but the I happened to dream. But when I But of course, that is exactly what more I think about it the more I just stopped being a child, a girl, a teen, feminism is supposed to be fighting can’t shake the idea I learned from I became something else: A Woman. against: people being told by others my lady heroes of the ‘90s: that girl Which, apparently, means my way of what is expected of their bodies, their power is awesome. Without a feminist being an adult, making decisions, or choices and behaviors . A s stated m ove m e nt , it will b e dif f i cult to achieving dreams is supposed to be in the 1991 Riot Grrrl manifesto, m o b ili s e any re al political change, significantly different. we need feminism “BECAUSE we especially when there is a war going Sometimes, we get a label slapped are being divided by our labels and on – the ‘war on women’ – so common on us that is completely out of our our philosophies and we need to in the media today that I’m surprised it own control. I can’t help being seen accept and suppor t each other as doesn’t have its own hashtag. as A Woman. But I do believe I c an girls; acknowledging our different As long as it exists, we will need choose to call myself a feminist, and approaches to life and accepting all feminism, and all kinds of feminists that that label can be inclusive and of them as valid”. starting conversations on the front line.

11

LETTERS TO THE TOWER

Is it appropriate to include a photo with your CV? FOR

BELLA WESTAWAY

JOSEPH BAUTISTA reclaims the lost art of letter-writing.

To the girl walking in front of me on the way to Bon Marche, You’re making it damn hard for me to cross this road safely. And it’s not just because the way your legs slide across the floor as you walk reminds me of pencils writing poetry. It’s not just because of your rollercoaster of luscious curls, either. No, not even the subtle sway of your hips alone is enough to cause this much distraction.

To the girl walking in front of me as I try to survive this road crossing, not only do you smell like Christmas morning, but goddamn, you’re even wearing a Jurassic 5 t-shirt. This is almost unfair.

No, no, no. Lady slightly ahead of me as I journey towards a boring lecture, please don’t turn around. It would break me to have you looking at me looking at you while I ’m l o o k ing thi s s e e d y. I ab s o lute l y c annot r uin th e only chance I never actually had. I apologise, this is not how I usually am. I’m a nice guy, but sometimes I just can’t help myself. “Men are but children of a larger growth.”

That’s something I read in one of my Arts classes the other day. To the girl walking in front of me as I make my way to another one of these classes, do overly pretentious quotes such as this one excite you?

I bet they do. Oh, see how I make assumptions about your entire personality based on a simple glimpse of your figure? It means I know you so well already. Obviously.

To the girl occupying the space fur ther on from my current position, I bet we’d make the perfect match. Don’t ask me how I came to that conclusion. I just know these VERTIGO

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things. Don’t mind the fact that I know nothing about you beyond your physical exterior. Don’t even mind the fact that this entire judgement was probably based completely on the fact that I’ve been single for far too long now and you were the first person I’ve actually seen today. Like I said, trust me, I know these things.

To the girl who now appears to be heading to the same lecture as I am, holy shit. We have a class together. You see, I told you we’d have things in common. It starts with a lecture, but before you know it we’ll eventually strike up a conversation. And we all know what conversations lead to. Sex. Lots of it. And maybe even, if you’re lucky, a relationship. Everyone knows this. To the girl I’ve only kind of slightly followed into the lecture hall and sat next to, how am I going to fail with a plan as foolproof as this one?

Wait a minute. To the unreasonably pretty male trying to squeeze past me, what the fuck are you doing? Don’t you dare sit next to her too. Oh, goddamnit. Now you’re kissing her.

To the girl currently locked in an embrace with another dude as I try to fucking learn the three Lacanian Orders, maybe it’s best we don’t enter in any kind of relationship after all. It’s for your own good. I hate it when you don’t give me what I mistakenly feel like I’m entitled to.

Did you know employers spend only six seconds looking at your CV? That’s right. Six seconds.

How do you wow someone in the amount of time it takes to unwrap a piece of gum?

Well, you include (alongside the information about your o l d jo b at M a c c a s an d your p ar ti all y f ini sh e d degree) a photo of yourself. A thousand words in six beautiful seconds.

A picture gives you the opportunity to be more than just a list of attributes; you become an actual person.

You begin to create a relationship with your recruiter.

According to Human Resources professional Joanna Thomas, employers are looking for candidates who fit in with company culture, and have the required skills for the job.

Whether the job you are going for is in a corporate e nviro nm e nt o r a f a shi o n b outi qu e , a photo g ive s you th e opp or tunit y to de m ons tr ate that you are appropriate for the par ticular workplace and actually get what the company is about.

When I discussed this with my best friend, she was adamant that I was wrong. “How you look has no value what soever on how well you do your job.”

And I wholehear tedly agree. But the fact remains that humans are influenced by appearance.

And if you are extremely attractive, it seems like a no-brainer: chuck on a stunning photo. Just no duck faces, please.

And for the rest of us mere mor tals? Well we might as well try.

Including a photo might be risk y. It might be shallow. You might immediately get dismissed as some super ficial bimbo or ugly chump before they get the oppor tunity to read about your Photoshop skills.

But you might not . And whether you’re b e ing discussed in the office for looking like Jon Snow or Amy Winehouse, at least you’ve been remembered.

AGAINST

LIANA HAMPSON

During my time as a bar manager I received the occasional resume with a photo attached. The ‘glamour’ shot accompanying the (usually sparse) resume seemed to be an attempt to plump up a short list of qualifications, and I suspect the rationale was, ‘attractiveness will get me the job’.

People are born into all manner of bodies, yet it is not their body that defines them. Our bodies are simply one facet of who we are and we should not equate a person’s worth with how they look.

We live in a society where physical beauty is desired and rewarded. The increase in plastic surgery procedures and the marketing of beauty products to men and women points towards a society distracted by, and obsessed with, something illusive and trivial.

I refuse to award anyone credibility based upon their appearance, as I expect to be judged on my qualifications, personality and skills. When I recruited, I looked for personality, not ‘prettiness’. Having a pretty face is not a skill. Being able to make a customer feel welcome and want to return to your place of business? That is.

Australia’s anti-discrimination laws aim to protect people from unfair disadvantage due to their age, sex, gender, sexual orientation, race, religion and physical ability. But put a photo on your CV and you’re instantly being judged by your appearance, and this can enable a prejudiced employer to disregard your application. So don’t buy into it!

If we actively stop engaging with the social pressure to look a cer tain way (that is, to be ‘beautiful’), we will star t to engage with what really makes people wor thy: their minds, their morality and their actions. Think of this next time you submit your resume – what kind of world do you want to be a part of?

Editor’s Note: Guys, you’re not entitled to that girl, even if she has lovely hips.

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Calling all illustrators and artists.

LOOKING AT LIFECHOICE

LifeChoice is a controversial pro-life group that wants to affiliate with the UTS union. a VERTIGO investigation looks closely at this divisive club.

Can YOU draw better then this?

Submit to Vertigo at submissions@utsvertigo.com.au

In June last year, the University of Sydney Union (USU) board met to discuss the affiliation of a new club on their campus, and despite protests and condemnation, voted 6-5 in favour of allowing the club access to Union resources. The club’s name is LifeChoice and its stated goal is to “promote the dignit y of human life from conception till natural death” and “foster discussion about abortion and euthanasia”.

This was the first club of its type in Sydney. Over the next year clubs also appeared at University of New South Wales , Macquarie Universit y and Australian Catholic University Melbourne. Each club has the same name, branding and website, as well as their fair share of controversy. Bitter debates have erupted on campuses nationwide as LifeChoice chapters have sprung up seeking affiliation with student unions. The presence of such clubs incensed many and have been a lightning rod for controversy, with their critics accusing the club of harassing students and spreading misinformation passed off as “scientific fact and literature”.

Three months ago, one such group brought a club proposal to the UTS Union, seeking affiliation. Affiliation with the Union gives clubs $6000 for events and up to $2000 for publications as well as access to Union facilities and services. Within days a petition seeking to block their

affiliation gained over 600 signatures.

So what student club could possibly attract such controversy?

The ambiguous name, LifeChoice, masks the pro-life ideals of an association that actively holds a stance against abor tion and euthanasia. The group steers away from identifying themselves as anti-abortion lobbyists though (despite evidence to the contrary), and instead stakes out a slippery hold on legitimacy by claiming to be a platform for ‘enlightening’ discussion, debate, and education.

In the proposal to UTS, LifeChoice assured that they would “contribute positively to student life by creating a space which upholds a positive message, protecting the dignity of human life. Those who agree, disagree or hold no opinion at all will be encouraged to join in the discussion without hostility”.

And yet there has been hostility already, and much of it from the opposing side.

T h e ap p e ar anc e of suc h a c lub o n c ampu s ha s g e n e r ate d a h e ate d re sp o ns e f rom wom e n’s r ig ht s suppor ters. Alison Whittaker, the UTS Wom*n’s Officer believes that “[LifeChoice] creates an unsafe space, further stigmatises persons who have engaged with this medical procedure and shuts down a personal aspect of the discourse.”

As repor ted in ‘Deeper Insider’ last month, their presence has led the UTS Wom*n’s Collective to actively petition the UTS Deputy Vice-Chancellor, Shirley Alexander, and UTS Union CEO, Elizabeth Brett, to deny the club’s affiliation, as “Pro-life groups such as LifeChoice target women and the choices they make re g arding their reproductive health. This constitutes gender-based harassment and other forms of intimidation.” Progressive student bodies like the UTS SRC as well as the National Union of Students (NUS) have also slammed the brand, with the President of NUS, Jade Tyrell, telling The Australian that groups such as LifeChoice are “extremely political causes that adversely affects one group of people”, and that they should not receive funding from the Student Ser vices and Amenities Fee (SSAF ). “NUS’s greatest concern is that these types of groups are interfering with a woman’s right to choose,” Tyrrell said.

The hostility from these progressive student bodies indicates a real belief in the danger that LifeChoice clubs present to women’s rights, reinforcing LifeChoice’s muddied reputation, one which belies LifeChoice’s assertion that they’re merely a group of students interested in this bio-ethical dilemma. And they're certainly aware of their reputation.

The UTS proposal reads “Currently the term ‘pro-life’ can carry negative connotations… [we] wish to change this by creating a forum where such issues can be raised without the need for placards or graphic images.” Keen to shed their image as an agenda-pushing lobby group, the UTS chapter also assures the Union that “LifeChoice, although it holds a stance, is neither political nor religious.”

One could suggest that LifeChoice clubs attempt to use these claims of impar tialit y as a shield from howling criticism, wherein they dismiss attempts to block their expansion as an attack on free speech. It was this argument that eventually helped the club prevail in af filiating with USU last year in the face of heav y opposition. Controversy around the club has not gone away. In February this year, the USU LifeChoice stall at O’ Week this year was vandalised and destroyed. Then in

May, according to USyd’s student newspaper Honi Soit , the same campus club also sparked a furore when LifeChoice members distributed hundreds of factually misleading leaflets about the RU486 drug –the $12 ‘abortion pill’ – to first-year students in their lectures. At the time the club’s media spokesperson rejected claims of presenting false information but admitted that some statements could have been worded more clearly.

Whittaker certainly believes that a UTS incarnation of the club will also result in similar campus scandals.

“LifeChoice will conduct themselves in the same manner as they have done on other c ampuses…creating a tremendously threatening, vitriolic and poisonous discourse,” she said. “LifeChoice crushes debate through the production of misinformation and shame.”

Rebecca Elias, inaugural president of USyd LifeChoice, told Vertigo, “We never realised so many people would want to join the fun!” When asked whether existing chapters had helped each other expand onto new campuses or if campus chapters worked in tandem, she explained that each LifeChoice club was completely independent, both in how they are set up and how they are run. “The LifeChoice clubs share a name and br anding and o b v i o u s l y t h e y s h a r e t h e same website. Apar t from this all the LifeChoice clubs are autonomous. Each of the LifeChoice clubs beg an separately from each other,” she said.

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USYD union (USU) allows lifechoice to affiliate and access union resources

lifechoice UNSW is established

lifechoice MACQ is established

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JULY lifechoice assists in organising ‘PULSE 2013’ conference

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APRIL lifechoice seeks affiliation with UTS union

FEB USU lifechoice stall vandalised and destroyed

However, a Vertigo investigation into the proposed UTS LifeChoice club has uncovered several strands which seem to contradict that statement of autonomy, and instead seem to entwine each individual club with each other and the parent LifeChoice brand.

LifeChoice representatives have downplayed the significance of this par ticular web host choice, but it does draw to attention the similarities between LifeChoice and the pro-life chain across the Tasman. Of par ticular note is the rapid expansion of ProLife NZ clubs across the country since the first appeared at the University of Waikato. Six New Zealand universities have acquired ProLife clubs since the club’s inception.

Like its USyd counterpar t, the Auckland University club has faced its fair share of pamphlet controversy, and was almost kicked off campus last year due to distributing flyers which stated that abortion procedures could lead to death, infer tility, and mental health problems. Along with flyers, this infamous ‘Right to Know’ campaign also culminated in the creation of a website that was designed to look like the website of pro-choice group ALRANZ but featured graphic photos of bloody foetuses.

And while no transnational association officially exists between the two organisations, comparisons b et we e n ProLife NZ and LifeChoice sug gest connections . For example, the prospective incoming president of LifeChoice UTS, Monica Helbano, previously attended the University of Waikato, where ProLife was first established. When asked about LifeChoice’s selection of web host, she added that, “In hindsight, the fact that we had a few kiwi students on the design team probably had something to do with it.”

It would seem logical that LifeChoice clubs would work together, or even stem from one another, and thus their insistence of autonomy is puzzling.

Likewise, LifeChoice’s claim that they are “neither political nor religious” is also difficult to confirm. All three key speakers at the recent ‘Pulse 2013’ conference – a conference that LifeChoice assisted in organising – were prominent conservative Catholics, as are the proposed speakers listed on the UTS LifeChoice proposal which includes the anti-abortion activist, Brendan Malone. In an opinion piece for the New Zealand Herald last year, Malone likened doctors being obliged to prescribe contraceptives

to the “same modus operandi employed by despotic and tyrannical regimes”.

The club’s secular status was thrown into the shade when Vertigo discovered that a significant number of student s who run the LifeChoice clubs on universit y campuses are alumni of exclusive Catholic colleges run by Opus Dei. Opus Dei is a controversial faction of the Catholic Church which preaches an ultraconservative interpretation of Catholicism and is often criticised for its aggressive recruiting and antiquated practices, most famously corporal mortification.

The group has a worldwide presence, and in Australia and New Zealand it runs several institutions. The University of Waikato contains two colleges that are operated by Opus Dei: Rimbrook College for women and Greywood Study Centre for men. At UNSW it operates two boarding colleges: Warrane College for men and Creston College for women; as well as two schools, Tangara School for girls and Redfield College for boys.

Graduates of Tangara School include Rebecca Elias, the inaugural President of the Universit y of Sydney LifeChoice club, Grace Assad, the inaugural President of the Macquarie University chapter, Francesca Perrottet, the inaugural Vice-President at UNSW, and Elizabeth Watson, the prospective Vice-President of the UTS club. The National Spokeswoman of LifeChoice, Belle Whealing, was also School Captain at Tangara in 2010.

While the prevalence of members with hardcore religious back grounds is not surprising, LifeChoice’s insistence of its secular status seems strange, as it is surrounded by dogmatic literature and led by those schooled in conservative Catholic settings.

LifeChoice also stakes its legitimacy on its nonpartisan values. However, on the UTS club’s proposal, a suggested event was an ‘educational talk’ from Helen Perrottet, the wife of NSW Lower House Liberal MP and member for Castle Hill, Dominic Perrottet. Mr. Perrottet is a close ally of David Clarke, an influential powerbroker in the hard-right of the Liberal Party and known co-operator of Opus Dei. Co-operators “assist Opus Dei financially on specific projects in various other projects that they do have”, Clarke said in an interview with ABC in 2005.

The contrast between LifeChoice’s stated goal of being “secular and nonpar tisan” and its many connections to ultraconservative Catholic networks, especially Opus Dei, raises broader questions about what the actual purpose of these clubs are. Moreover, the sheer number of these connections warrants further investigation as to whether or not these clubs are centrally organised and, if so, by whom.

These are questions that LifeChoice clubs cannot simply dismiss as infringements on their freedom of speech and deserve to be considered in the final decision concerning their right to affiliate to the UTS Union.

At the time of writing the decision to accept the proposal for UTS LifeChoice club’s affiliation with the UTS Union is still pending.

This article was compiled by Joe McKenzie,Sally Coleman, Frances Mao and Lachlan Bennett with assistance from Fiona Dunne and Hannah Story.

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S H O W C A S E :

Annabel bl ackman

I have always kept a sketchbook: from ones full of terrible attempts at manga from back in primary school; to the one s I have now that are a mixture of work, whether figurative or abstract, in lead pencil, pen and ink.

Sometimes I will see an interesting face in a magazine or on the internet and be inspired to draw it. Starting is the hardest part, but then slowly the image pulls together. I’m not interested in creating perfect, hyperrealistic work because I like to see how I can change and reinterpret the image, accentuating elements that have caught my eye.

I also enjoy working expressively with a brush and ink then using a little bit of skill in Photoshop to fur ther layer an image with colour and texture.

It’s all just a bit of fun, really.

When I have some spare time (and even when I don’t), I often find myself with a pencil in hand and a blank sheet of paper in front of me.

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BL ACK ARMBANDS -AND-

WHITE BLINDFOLDS

Rudi Bremer takes a look at australia’s ‘history wars’ and what they mean for australia’s aboriginal peoples.

Settle. It’s such a nice and calm word i sn’t it? It b r ing s up c o s y im a g e s of put ting down root s and get ting comfortable. Children settle down for a nap. You might even settle in to read your favourite student magazine. So when someone talks about Australia as a country that was settled in 1788, it sounds like it was a peaceful event, but substitute ‘settled’ for ‘invaded’ and it begins to paint a whole new picture. That’s the power of language.

And it’s the heart of what Australians have come to call the ‘History Wars’.

It’s difficult to say whether the Histor y Wars are more political or scholarly in nature. Certainly the initial discussion began on an academic l eve l in 19 6 8 wh e n Profe s s o r W.E.H “Bill” Stanner, an Australian anthropologist, began arguing that Australian history was incomplete.

Coining the term the “Great Australian Silence”, Stanner asser ted that Australian national history structurally and deliberately ignored the "several hundred thousand Aborigines who lived and died between 1788 and 1938… [who were but] … negative facts of history and … were in no way consequential for the modern period".

Over the nex t 20 - odd years Australian historians re-examined the national histor y. It was all ver y controversial, in an academic kind of VERTIGO

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way, and soon there were two distinct ideologies at play: those who believed there had been a silence and those who didn’t, and as things star ted to heat up more than one politician threw in their two cents. Paul Keating and John Howard were early and quite influential players in the discussion.

In 1992, Keating stood in Redfern Park and spoke about the crimes committed against Aboriginal people throughout Australia’s history.

“We took the traditional lands and smashed the original way of life. We brought the diseases. The alcohol. We committed the murders. We took the children from their mothers.”

It was an unapologetic acknowledgement of a history counter to that provided by the history books, and was downright revolutionary considering the fact he was Prime Minister at the time.

D ur ing J ohn H ow ard’s p r im e ministership, the argument reached it s pinnacle. Howard made it clear that he strongly opposed the view of histor y Keating had spoken of, even going so far as to politicise the national curriculum by c alling for the removal of content that showed Australian histor y in too negative a light. Following the release of the 1998 ‘Bringing Them Home’ Report, Howard

was willing to pass a Parliamentary ‘Motion of Re c o nc ili ati o n’ that described the treatment of Aboriginal p e o p l e a s th e “m o s t b l e mi sh e d chapter” in Australian history but then went on to infamously argue against making a Parliamentary apology as it would imply “intergenerational guilt”. Then in 2006, while delivering a speech on Quadrant ’s fif tieth anniversar y, he praised those who worked to counter the “black armband view of Australian history”.

The term ‘black armband view’ was a reference to an argument put forward by Australian historian Geof frey Blainey. During his 1993 Sir John L atham Memorial lecture, Blainey stated that those views that focussed on the disgraceful aspects of our history were “decidedly jaundiced” and possibly “more unreal” than th e ove r ly s e lf- c ong r atul ator y ‘three c h e e r s’ vi ew. In u sing th e p hr a s e Howard was attempting to undermine the growing argument that Australia’s histor y since 178 8 was one that included imperialism, exploitation, racism, sexism and other forms of discrimination.

The dynamic of the debate altered drastically when the Rudd Labor Government with bipartisan support, made an official apology to the Stolen Generation in 2008. It appeared as

though Australia had sided with Keating after all, choosing to accept the wrong that had been done in the past. As it turned out, this was a somewhat misleading impression.

In 2009, Rudd delivered his own verdict on the subject. His argument was that from the moral point of view, Australian history is complicated, with elements of both “glory” and “shame”.

For this reason, Rudd favoured a history that “unapologetically celebrates the good” but that also “unapologetically exposes the bad”. It was a complex attitude, but one that was ultimately constructive. However Rudd took it a step further by suggesting that a final moral judgement on the history of Australia is possible. After considering the “balance sheet” of history, he believed that Australia’s history was positive. That is, Australian history consisted of more things to be proud of than there were things to feel ashamed of, so we could all stop fretting. It was a very moderate tone, condemning those that had denied the blemishes that marred our history along with those who would neglect or deride the explorers, pioneers and entrepreneurs.

H e th e n drew at te nti o n to o n e particular passage in the apology to the Stolen Generations, “In my address to parliament last year on the national apology, I expressed my belief that a people ‘must become fully reconciled to their past if they are to go forward with confidence to embrace their future’.”

Then, for the first time, Rudd explained what he had meant. In the apology, he had dealt with “the unfinished business of our reconciliation with the First Australians”. With this statement he implied that after the apology, symbolic reconciliation had become finished

business. According to Rudd, the time had arrived for Australians “to move beyond the arid intellectual debates of the history wars and the culture wars of recent years” and “to leave behind … the polarisation that began to infect every discussion of our nation’s past”.

It was an attempt to place himself above the battle of the History Wars, in a way that allowed him and those Australians who think and feel as he does to settle into a conceptual middle ground.

One that allowed a moral high ground, in that he was not denying the atrocities of the past, while at the same time ignoring the continued repercussions of those atrocities. Granted there is a fine line to walk, regarding the reading and remembering of history. It’s not something that can be packaged up neatly, so it’s no wonder that Rudd and others have looked for a middle ground.

However when you attempt to solve history, compromises are always made, and too often the compromises have been to the detriment of Aboriginal Australia.

This speech highlighted what is in my opinion the most disturbing aspect of the History Wars. For over 20 years, we have been consuming and internalising the idea that acknowledging the long history of violence and dispossession of the traditional custodians of this land means that we need only acknowledge a shame aspect in our distant past. But it should be more than that. It should be about striving forward to ensure history doesn’t repeat itself. It should be about recognising that the ripples of the past still exist today.

Australia was only colonised a relatively short time ago, and some of the most damaging government policies are still in living memor y.

Time may eventually heal the wounds, but we can see the scars today According to ‘Closing the Gap: Prime Minister’s Repor t 2013’, the current g ap in life ex p e c t anc y b e t w e e n Aboriginal people and non-Aboriginal people is estimated to be 11.5 years for males and 9.7 years for females. T hi s m e ans that a s a 25 -ye ar- old Kamilaroi woman, statistically speaking I’m almost due for a mid-life crisis. That’s the reality of the impact our past is having today.

And yet, I’ve had multiple discussions with white people who have questioned why they should worry about a problem they took no part in creating. It’s a pervasive sentiment, and a completely unhelpful one. In the words of Aboriginal law yer, Noel Pearson, " To say that ordinary Australians who are part of the national community today do not have any connection with the shameful aspects of our past is at odds with our exhortations that they have connections to the prideful bits."

History is written by the victors, and serves to teach us what was important about a particular point in time. Is it more important to remember that Aboriginal children were forcibly removed from their families by the Australian government, or that the Australian government “rescued” Aboriginal children from poverty? Is it more important to say that Australia was settled, or that this land was invaded?

Is it more impor tant to be a countr y that is willing to stare unflinchingly at its past, or to be one that allows fears of guilt and political rhetoric to place a blindfold over its eyes?

21

UTS builds a suite of fancy new, visually beautiful and architecturally exceptional buildings. It is still known for the Tower, which looks like a rectangular pebblecrete turd.

The Chau Chak building has incorporated an escapepod designed so that the Chinese billionaire can survive the impending apocalypse by leaving this godforsaken planet.

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The actually nicelooking redesign of the Alumni Green gives the incoming Vertigo team a nervous breakdown by forcing them to abandon twenty years of jokes about how pathetic the grass is.

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The ‘green’ roof of the new science building on Thomas St successfully teaches UTS students what a ‘tree’ is.

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The new podium extension for Buildings One and Two creates rich new opportunities for charity muggers.

It’s perfect for dull tutorials.

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The new Engineering building on Broadway never really gets over the irony of having a crane fall on it during construction.

want to know how the UTS master pl an will go? Joe McKenzie takes a glimpse into the future with our UTS Master Plan Chatterbox.

The Kuringgai campus is closed, but instead of being turned into a high school it becomes a debtors’ prison for people who don’t pay their SSAF on time.

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DIY UTS MASTER PLAN CHATTERBOX

The fancy new high-tech library retrieval system becomes self-aware and begins systematically destroying all life on earth.

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Follow the steps below, to make your own chatterbox!

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GEN WHY

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though UTS may be quiet in there are still some stylish some loud fashion statements SAMUEL MILLSOM tracks down

THREE PR OBLE M S WITH GEN Y W O M EN it’s the generation that everyone loves to hate. Whitney Higginson runs us through the less favourable tendencies of those with female Gen-Y-talia*.

the holidays, students making around campus. some of them.

DON’T SAY F*MINISM

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(1) Gen Y women who have hit the jackpot in the gene pool put up Instagram/Facebook selfies with hashtags like #sougly or #omgbadselfie Seriously?

Do you think us common and average looking plebs are dumb? I know what women do with pic ture s that aren’t flattering: they untag the SHIT out of them faster than anyone can click ‘like’. Then they take a few deep breaths and c arr y on with their live s as if the photo doesn’t exist. You will notice that women do not actually post ugly photos on their social media accounts or blogs with self- deprec ating t ag s on them. It is a uni ve r s a l rule . Instead, they post really fucking hot p h o t o s of themselves and make the rest of us feel b a d with the aforementioned tags. Whenever I see a photo like this on my feed, I first think to myself, Why don’t I look like a fucking supermodel when I wake up? Oh, that’s right.

This photo was probably taken in the middle of the day and the person is just screwing with me.

Please stop fooling. You look good. We know you l o o k g o o d . Yo u k n ow yo u l o o k g o o d . Yo u’r e we a r in g sweats and you have minimal makeup on, but that is not wor thy of the ‘ugly’ card. Leave it to the rest of us who actually have something to work on.

(2) Gen Y women who accuse other women of being ‘jealous’ or ‘hating’ them because of how hot they are.

You know, it would be totally sweet if we could all pass our problems on to somebody else and blame our lack of friends on something as trivial and vacuous as good looks. But that’s a lit tle irrational, isn’t it? Nope, not at all! In fact, the whole argument for girls not liking one another due to ‘jealousy’ is TOTALLY rational. It couldn’t possibly be because people have dif ferent personalit y traits, which enable them to get along really well with some people and others not so well. It definitely couldn’t be bec ause people value dif ferent per sonalit y tr ait s in friends . It HAS to be – as it always is when we t alk about women – that ever y person born with a v a g in a i s natur ally jealous of ever y thing. Note how it never VERTIGO

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comes up when we talk about disliking cer tain men?

That’s because a woman could NEVER be jealous of a man, or vice versa. It just wouldn’t make sense!

S o l a di e s , p l e a s e s t o p un d e r e s t im a t in g t h e intelligence of our gender by reducing women to catty schoolgirls who are only capable of being jealous. If you’re hot and other girls don’t want to be seen with you, chances are they aren’t jealous of you. Chances are you’re a fucking bitch with a huge sense of selfentitlement and are just generally unbearable to hang with. End. Of. Story.

(3) Gen Y women don’t like using the ‘F’ word. I’m not referring to fuck. I’m referring to feminism. Before you flip the page and mutter something along the lines of how I have been brainwashed into not shaving (I do) and hating men (I don’t) hear me out.

Before I started working at a feminist website, I thought feminism was outdated and couldn’t under st and the relevance it had to women of today. I just thought feminists were saving money on self-grooming products – that shit is E XPENSIVE af ter all. Then I st ar ted working with some incredibly intelligent women who were outraged by issues such as Tony Abbott wanting to re stric t acce s s to the abor tion drug RU4 86, the Steubenville rape case, female circumcision in Australia, slut shaming, the inherent sexism that per vade s our gener ation and the continuing gendered wage g ap. It was then I realised that conservative white men ARE still making choices for women, despite not having a vagina/ any understanding of what it means to be a person with a vagina. I get it, some people don’t care about politic s , but the se are is sue s that are likely to af fec t some, if not all, of us , in the future . Why shouldn’t we c are about them?

So fuck yes, we need feminism. Because who should run the world? Girls.

ELYSE

SAM

ANNA

Elyse was instant eye-candy. She’s rocking the cutest mix of colours , fabrics and styles that contribute to create a serve of bona fide #Harajuku realness. She tries to keep up to date with the latest trends but this look is both indie and individual. First off, her hot-pink Adidas windbreaker is matched to her hot-pink handbag culminating in a look that is more saturated than a Katy Perry video clip.

On top of that, she’s thrown in some leather boots and a denim skirt for a fun look that’s half Jessica Simpson, half Gwen Stefani – #popstarglamour.

Elyse is an Accounting student who’s added up the numbers and come up with a profitable outfit.

Sam is a stylish, six-foot-something Engineering student who has e ng in e e re d an awe s om e l o o k to b r ave the biting winter weather.

It’s pretty easy to make a fashion statement when you’re as tall and dashing as Sam and he makes it look like a piece of cake. Star ting with a plain white tee (does anyone remember that band?) and a lovely leather jacket, he’s already got heads t ur ning . C oup l e d with te al j e ans he’s starting to look like a model for General Pants. And check that hairdo!

Perfectly tussled dreads with a clean and classic look puts this engineer on top of the style ladder – kudos to you, Samuel!

A nna w a s e nro lling fo r h e r f ir s t Semester at UTS when I swooped to take a shot of the stylish Swiss Miss. Anna’s rocking some threads that deserve a double take, because she’s shining bright like a diamond (#Rihannalyric , sorr y, not sorr y.)

She’s mixed comfort with charisma, wearing some relaxed-fit jeans from Amsterdam (#new fashionmecc a), together with soft feminine touches and a rough and tough bikie jacket that can brave the breezy weather.

The pants are reminiscent of a Scotch & Soda lookbook and she’s made the statement complete with some accessories that give a burst of colour and fun. Something about the Swiss always makes them stylish students, am I right or am I right?

*Ver tigo apologises gratuitously for perpetuating gender binaries based upon physical traits. We’re all for gender spectrums and autonomous gender identit y, we just couldn’t resist the pun.

25

roadtest

D SM Mission: To explore the dark and often taboo world of BDSM. I don’t intend on actually being tied up and whipped with a chain, I’ll just be investigating this subculture as it extends beyond the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon.

Vertigo sent one novice to find out more about the lighter side of Bondage, Discipline, and Sadomasochism.

KAITLIN LAKE reported for duty.

LITERATURE

ONLINE FORUMS

CHATTING ONLINE

ADULT STORE

E. L. James’ erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey c ause d a global sens ation upon public ation, selling over 70 million copies worldwide. It became the fastest selling paperback of all time , surpas sing even the Harr y Potter series. Since this, knowledge of the sexual practices of bondage/ discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism (BDSM) has become widespread. Personally, my favourite quotes from the novel, which originally s t ar te d as Twilight f an fiction can be found in the contract that the dominant Chris tian G r e y formulates for his ‘sub’ Anas t asia , “15.21 The Submissive shall accept whippings, floggings, spankings, c a n i n g , p a d d lin g o r a ny o t h e r discipline the Dominant should d e c i d e t o a d m i n i s t e r, w i t h o u t hesitation, enquir y or complaint.”

While quotes such as this, which detail the ‘chains and whips’ aspect of BDSM, Fifty Shades also explores the psychological aspects of the practice, “It ’s about gaining your trust and your respect, so you’ll let me exert my will over you. I will gain a great deal of pleasure, joy, even in your submission.” James, although perhaps the most widely known, was not the first to publicly write about the enjoyment that can be derived from BDSM practices. The Kama Sutra , which historians believe was composed some time bet ween 400BCE and 200CE, tells of the pleasure of pinching, biting, hitting and impact play during lovemaking.

To learn about BDSM beyond the confines of James’ ‘mommy-porn’, I took to fetlife.com, the Facebook of the BDSM community. The first step was creating my online profile; I created a username, answered some questions, and thus KinkyKaitlin was born. A whole new world (or a new fantastic point of view) appeared when I was aske d to sele c t my ‘role’. Mistress, domme, pet, slave, sadomasochist, babygirl, kinkster, hedonist; I didn’t even know what half of these meant. Googling ‘kajira’ and other such terms not only proved fascinating, but also ensured a questionable internet histor y.

Amongst advertisements for nipple clamps and crotchless panties, was the Novices & Newbies forum, the perfect place for KinkyKaitlin. Advice ranged from how to find a safe dom/ sub to how to convince a ‘vanilla’ partner to fulfill your BDSM desires.

The forum contained a plethora of information and reve ale d a community of people from around the world who were admirably focussed on safety before anything else.

Random chat sites like Omegle and Chat Roulet te enable users to chat to others based on similar interests.

Random strangers and I were matched on our similar interest in BDSM. I opened with the classic line “dom or sub?” My first encounter was with an overweight British man with a beard, and stripy red tie, who told me he was at work. I instructed him to take off his tie and he complied unquestioningly.

Good sub. At my request he proceeded to roll his tie into a ball and put it in his mouth. However, because he was at work he refused to satisfy any more of my whims, and then disconnected.

My second random stranger was from Denmark and was the spitting image of Chad Michael Murray. We began with some small talk, he told me about the sexual habits of Hans Christian Andersen and I asked how Princess Mary was doing. Before long we had moved to the subject of anal fisting. However, even the beauty of CMM’s chiseled jaw was no match for the experience which came with my third online encounter, a lank y, brunette youth from Ireland. “I am your mistress,” I began, and he complied with my commands. By the end of our 45 minute conversation I had made him “shake his booty”, “do a handstand”, and “act like a cat”, and yes, I assure you that I have proof in video form. Perhaps our encounter was not as intense as the scenes between Anastasia and Christian, but I sure felt powerful when he lay shirtless, in the fetal position, meowing like a kitty.

Reading about the tools of the trade is all well and good, but at the end of the day nothing compares to the real deal. I visited an adult store to see what they had on of fer. Mouth gags lined the walls in varying forms, some designed to keep the sub’s mouth wide open, and others to ensure they remain silent. The sales assistant informed me of the popularity of floggers and whips.

Floggers were the biggest sellers, whilst caning provided the most intense pain. When taken to the fetish clothing section, I was greeted with the sheen of black PVC and latex. From corsets, to masks and harnesses for both men and women, there was a wide variety, which the sales assistant encouraged me to try (I politely declined).

Hours wasted: Too many to count (thanks heaps E.L. James) Kink factor: 4/5 VERTIGO

ISS07

Hours wasted: 4 Kink factor: 2/5. Extremely informative but failed to stir my ‘inner goddess’.

Result: I may not be much of an Anastasia, but now at least I know a lit tle bit more about this not-uncommon pastime.

Hours wasted: 1 Kink factor: 5/5. Fifty shades of fun.

Hours wasted: 3 Kink factor: 4/5. Potential for so much more, but ultimately I just wanted to make my subs dance.

27

S H O W C A S E :

EMILY BRUGMAN

Rowling’s creation – Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.

Professor Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, actually exists. In an ensuing interview with him, Vertigo discovered that he wrote all seven books in the Harry Potter series.

“After the war, I took over as

In ads for the show that seem to appear every 15 seconds, expert voiceover workers have variously referred to the characters as “hilarious” and “brilliant”. One voiceover guy also disregarded the critical panning of the show, going on to describe it as “America’s Best New Comedy”.

The show is said to be “fun for the whole family”, and is

“I mean, how did he even know about Cho and I in the Room of Requirement?” Potter said. “I never discussed that with him. Nor did I tell him about the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw orgies in the Room of Requirement, but somehow that ended up in the books as well.”

When Vertigo pointed out that there was no mention of any such events in the series, Potter muttered, “Well that knocks two billion pounds off my settlement. At least you now know that Hogwarts is much more Geordie Shore than Dumbledore

would have you think. But I am thankful that he never told Ron about Hermione and the Weasley twins.”

As the scandal continues to play out, it has been reported that Dumbledore has moved his book sale earnings of one million galleons from Gringotts to a bank account in the Cayman Islands.

Veteran actor John Screeves, who once played an uncle in a straight-to-video Mary-Kate and Ashley movie, passed away last night of natural causes.

“Wasn’t he the grandfather in Home Alone 3?” mourned a passerby when shown his picture in the street. “I hated that movie, but he was okay.”

The 71-year-old, most fondly remembered for his appearance as an extra in the bookstore scene of the film Forrest Gump, has had tributes dedicated to him by hoards of Facebook users, including a high percentage who have never

actually seen him in anything.

“He will be remembered for his friendly smile,” said gossip website BS, “but not really for his acting.”

Critics are suggesting that his final role, as a cadaver on CSI Miami, was the one for which he will be remembered.

“I know it’s a little early to suggest he’ll make it onto the Hollywood Walk of Fame,” said one blogger, “but he left his mark on the industry. Some say that the line he had in Home Improvement was the finest work in his oeuvre, but it was what he could do without any lines that will stand the test of time.”

The world is in mourning following the death of actor John Screeves.

Carrie Oakey reports.

TRIBUTES FLOW FOR DEAD HOLLYWOOD CELEBRITY NOBODY REMEMBERS

Minister for Magic and decided that our existing protocols for dealing with serious breaches between our two worlds were no longer viable. I decided to consult with Harry and turn his life story, and that of the wizarding community, into a series of books and films, casting an Imperius Curse on a struggling young, English writer. I was essentially trying to throw the Muggles off our scent,” Dumbledore stated.

The revelation came after the writer, who we now know to be J.K. Rowling, developed enough resistance to Dumbledore’s curse to write under another name, that of ‘Robert Gailbraith’. The rebellion came after decades of subservience under the Imperius Curse, and in a press conference she stated that she is very happy that she “no longer has to dye her hair blonde and pretend to give a shit about charity”.

Vertigo can also reveal that earlier this year, Harry Potter filed a lawsuit against Professor Dumbledore and Bloomsbury Publishing for a “repeated and profound infringement of his privacy”.

We apologise to any individuals, groups or organisations offended by the above attempt at satire. In no way are the actual contents meant to be taken as factual.

possibly about a blue-collar worker with an inexplicably attractive housebound wife, or two down-on-their-luck middle-aged men living together.

The sitcom, which first screened two years ago in the United States, will be shown “exclusively” five times a night on Channel Nine from January next year.

Channel Nine’s latest American comedy has received rave reviews among voiceover actors, writes Chris P. Bacon.

VOICEOVER GUY DESCRIBES LAME SITCOM AS “RIOTOUS”

Vertigo can exclusively report that there is more to the J.K. Rowling literary scandal than previously reported. From a Vertigo special investigation, we can now reveal that just as the name ‘Robert Gailbraith’ is a nom de plume, the writer J.K. Rowling is actually a ghostwriter for a person that we all believed to be a character of

Luna Lovegood investigates a breaking literary scandal.

CURSE

IMPERIUS

J.K. ROWLING UNDER

NOW 98% FACT FREE

THE DEFAMER

REWIND/FAST-FORWARD because sometimes life needs a remote

B oy STRIPPED BARE Jon Hart, musical chameleon, vocalist and keys player for Boy and Bear, bares all about the band’s latest album Harlequin Dream. Naomi Russo writes.

When Jon Hart was stood up on a date, he didn’t know it was going to change his life. His brother Boy and Bear drummer Tim, was nearby having a few beers with the band’s frontman, Dave Hosking, and told Hart to join them.

Hart “got talking to Dave”, and by the end of the night it had been decided that he would join the band.

Formed in 2009 by Hosking as a solo project, Boy and Bear quickly gained members: Killian Gavin (vocals/guitar), Tim Hart (drums/vocals/guitar) Jake Tarasenko (vocals/bass) and finally, Jon Hart (vocals/keys/mandolin). Since then, the quintet has accumulated record deals with Universal Republic Records and Island Records Australia, five ARIAs and countless festival and solo appearances.

Hart is characteristically humble about the band’s ascent to stardom, citing hearing ‘Mexican Mavis’ on Triple J as a big moment. The song was featured on Next Crop ’09 and Boy and Bear went on to win Triple J Unearthed that same year. More telling however, was the change in attendance at their gigs.

“When you’re playing in one of those uni bands you’re begging your friends and family to come, but then you notice things change when they’re calling you asking for tickets ‘cause they cant get in”, Hart says, “that’s when it kind of hit.” The days of begging their uni friends are long gone; the band have toured with Laura Marling, played sold out shows and had the crowd tapping their feet and singing along at both local and international festivals.

Admittedly rather vanilla, Boy and Bear have no wild touring stories or groupies. They’re clean-cut, the sort of band your mum would approve of. This leaves plenty of time for actually making music, something Hart laughingly refers to as “a day and night job”.

VERTIGO

ISS07

In fact their latest album Harlequin Dream was conceived

by Hosking before the award-winning Moonfire was even released. Unlike Moonfire, Harlequin Dream was produced in Australia, allowing the band to “go home and sleep in our own beds”. “It is no secret (with Moonfire) that some of the production didn’t turn out how we wanted,” Har t admits. But he seems far more content with their new album, “the end result realised in the way we wanted it to”.

The LP was recorded in the legendary Alberts studio, the home of many Australian musical legends, “It was just the band and the guy helping us with production and engineering, no one to make us feel famous.” The guy Hart is referring to is Wayne Connolly, an ARIA-award-winning producer who met the band when they worked together on their popular cover of Neil Finn’s ‘Fall at your Feet’.

The quintet also had the luxury of time with this album, “We had more [of a] chance to live with the tracks.” And it shows. “The songs often changed several times,” with a more mature, albeit more ‘pop’ sound compared to the folksy Moonfire .

And as for that girl? Har t hasn’t contacted her to thank her. “I’ve thought about it, but it’d just be awkward.”

Nevertheless, you can’t help thinking that she’d be kicking herself now. With another successful Splendour performance under their belt and Harlequin Dream certain to be a hit, Boy and Bear are destined for great things.

OVERALLS

PEPLUMS

Now seeing as most of you reading this magazine are children of the ‘90s, or teenagers of the ‘90s (I didn’t want to leave you mature age students out), you are no doubt aware of the awesomeness that is a good pair of denim overalls. A rather utilitarian garment first worn by workers in the late 1800s, overalls combine both pants and a bib, and can be worn over a variety of tops. My personal favourite is a nice colourful skivvy.

So why should we revisit this humble, nostalgia-imbued garment you ask? Well, as previously mentioned, they are an immensely functional garment. They make getting dressed in the morning incredibly easy, as there’s no need to fuss around trying to match your denim jacket to your jeans, à la Canadian tuxedo. With the incorporated (and hopefully bedazzled or embroidered) denim bib, you’ve got a rocking denim outfit all ready to hit the town with.

Furthermore, unlike jeans, many overalls contain not four, but FIVE pockets. Just think what you could put in that extra pocket! I used to keep my jacks in it when I was little, but as an adult, that perfectly sized pouch would be handy to house cigarettes, a small flask of gin or a tasty snack.

Whether or not these reasons compel you to don some dungarees once again, it cannot be denied that overalls are making a huge comeback. So don’t be scarred by those old photos of you and your cousins wearing matching OshKosh B’Gosh, just channel your inner Tom Sawyer or Vada Sultenfuss and embrace the practicality and ‘90s coolness of the overall. I can assure you that on your next trip to the sandpit, you won’t regret it.

Note: Also, remember that there is nothing sexier than a pair of overalls worn with nothing underneath. Especially if you are bronzed, gleaming with sweat, and wielding some sort of axe or tool. Phwoarrr.

Ah peplums: the fashion trend that refuses to die.

Ladies, I just don’t get it – why on earth would you want to add extra yardage around the area that most of us spend hours trying to hone at the gym?

IT. MAKES. NO. SENSE. For those of you who have no idea what a peplum is: (a) Have you been hiding under a rock? (b) I apologise for prematurely launching into my rant.

Please let me explain: The peplum is a short overskirt that can be attached to a variety of garments (skirts, jackets, dresses – you get the idea). It is often described as frilly, flouncy or structural.

It originated in Ancient Greece, where it was known as a peplos, but really came to the fore in the ‘80s (the decade where style went to die). I thought that all the ‘80s peplumed bridesmaid dresses, and accompanying photographic reminders of them, would have turned the lady population off this particular trend. But alas, the peplum has had a sartorial resurgence as of late.

Now, those who know me know that I am no girly girl.

The mere mention of glitter, pink or frills is enough to test my gag reflex. However, I’d like to think that I can appreciate a trend, even if I wouldn’t wear it myself.

But in this instance… I. JUST. CAN’T. They remind me of the little, frilly valances that your granny has around the bottom of her bed. Kim Kardashian practically lives in them – shouldn’t that tell you something?

Not to mention, they are unbelievably unflattering: they make the waist and hips look bigger, and by adding an extra horizontal line across your hips you are effectively shortening your legs. Why on earth would any woman want that?

So please ladies, for the sake of your gorgeous figures and sartorial status, I implore you to burn every peplumed item in your closet. Do not let those costumey flaps of fabric continue to perform evil David Copperfield illusions on your body any longer.

Photographed by Pierre Toussaint via: gq.com

ZARA SELMAN

33

Is this shit Any GOOd?

MUSIC

FILM

BOOK

GIG

Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

this is the end

The Hunt for Pierre Jnr.

SPLENDOUR IN THE GRASS

American indie-folk band Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros have released a self-titled album packed full of the group’s trademark soul. Coming just over a year after the release of their second studio album Here, it’s another step in the right direction. It may have some fairly underwhelming moments but they’re balanced by the intoxicating nature of the remaining track list.

The ten-piece psychedelic band is known for their commercial jingles and songs with a strong folksy feel, but this album is a shift towards a deeper level of emotional exploration. The opening track ‘Better Days’ showcases this, with Alex Ebert’s soulful vocals capturing the feeling of hope faintly shining through, despite life’s challenges.

The band’s new, darker perspective on life is evident in many songs but regardless of these heavy tones, Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros can’t help but weave in optimism, silver linings and the joy of universal experience.

This is evident in ‘Life is Hard’, a reflection on the bittersweet sorrow of existence with mournful vocals encouraging a celebration of pain and hardship, “Come celebrate, life is hard!”

‘Let’s Get High’ is the one true hark back to the band’s lighthearted phase; the upbeat track is full of body percussion, chorus harmonies, a jazzy bounce and droning vocals and would be great if not for the chaotic instrumentals of its final sixty seconds.

Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros have once again produced a high quality record brimming with a sense of wonderment, a strong feeling of community and echoes of hope and nostalgia. It’s an album with the right blending of emotion to make a perfect soundtrack to just about anything.

This Is The End may look like every movie coming out in 2013 – it’s got big name celebrities acting in a movie set in the apocalypse – but celebrities playing themselves in a stoner movie set in the apocalypse? That makes it a little more interesting.

Seth Rogen’s old friend Jay Baruchel is visiting L A from Canada. While attending a party at James Franco’s house, the best friends witness people ascending to heaven by white lights. Sinkholes kill off A-list par tygoers and madness descends.

The pair seek refuge in James Franco’s mansion alongside James Franco, Jonah Hill, Danny McBride and Craig Robinson. To pass the time they take ecstasy, talk about cumming over each other, and make a homemade version of Pineapple Express 2 until supplies start to dwindle.

If you’re looking for a night out with your friends, this movie will not disappoint. It’s like a reunion of the Freaks and Geeks, Pineapple Express and Superbad casts. Celebrity appearances are speckled throughout, with cameos by Rhianna, Emma Watson, and many, many more. Performances

by Channing Tatum and Michael Cera are highlights.

The narrative is fun and it’s refreshing to see well-known actors play themselves and make self-deprecating jokes.

However, the movie can at times feel self-indulgent and there are several stagnant moments. The subplot of Baruchel and Rogen’s strained relationship could have been fleshed out, the orientation was long and the ending only half thought out.

Nevertheless, despite lacking some narrative cohesion, the premise is strong and if you’re a fan of any of the lead stars, chances are you’re going to like this film. There are plenty of dick/cum gags, but they’re held together with a surprising moral that subliminally criticises the hedonism of Hollywood.

It’s the year 2159, and humanity is only just recovering from the recent violence and climate decay of the Second Dark Age. Despite breakthroughs in technology and leadership, people with psychic abilities are being sent off to camps and remote islands to quarantine them from the rest of the population. However, when eight-year-old Pierre Jnr. stuns the world with his incredible powers, society soon finds itself in turmoil. He can do anything – control you, make you forget – but is he a force of good or evil?

Sydney-based author David M. Henley has woven a story that is action-packed and gripping, yet able to raise some intriguing questions about the nature of individuality, society, oppression and kinship. The writing itself is fluent and energetic, making the pages of The Hunt for Pierre Jnr. seem to almost turn themselves. As a piece of speculative science fiction, the novel uses its genre to full advantage; the futuristic setting is detailed, thought-provoking, and much more than just a narrative backdrop. As such, the reader is encouraged to be active, yet never left confused – a fine line to tread for an author hoping to casually drop digital civic structures, biotechnology and psychic powers into the storyline of an action-driven mystery.

The weakest point in the novel is its somewhat rushed and ambiguous ending. There are loose ends, unanswered questions and unexplored characters aplenty, however this flaw has the reassuring hallmark of “SEQUEL ON THE WAY” stamped all over it. Whilst this mildly dampens The Hunt for Pierre Jnr.’s appeal as a standalone book, the novel has more than enough ideas and oomph to last as a trilogy (as I suspect it will become).

“Splendour is the best festival in the country,” proclaimed The Presets’ frontman Julian Hamilton on the final day of Splendour in the Grass 2013, and the crowd roared in agreement. True, there were teething problems with the new venue of Byron Parklands, most notably in the form of full-to-bursting buses and bottlenecked highways.

Weary campers and bus-goers were to later be even more disappointed, when Frank Ocean was pulled from the line-up due to ill health. Kiwi songstress Lorde was brought in to replace the popular crooner and gave a stellar performance, however no one could say she filled the Ocean-sized hole.

Flight Facilities gave a stand-out set, with an amazing guest per formance from Elizabeth Rose, and a great selection of old and new hits. Mumford and Sons were another crowd favourite with heart-felt sing-alongs, despite initial booing after Marcus Mumford riled the crowd about recent sporting results. Flume was somewhat disappointing with his set little more than a replay of all his well-known tunes, but his performance as one half of What So Not was a highlight. Alison Wonderland’s set also had the festivalgoers dancing – no mean feat in ankle-deep mud. Splendour’s ‘mystery’ band Alt-J were no big surprise, though they did give a nod to rumours of Daft Punk playing, coming on stage to ‘Harder Better Faster Stronger’. The half-hour clash with James Blake was another blow, but fans managed to run between and see both Alt-J’s ‘Tessellate’ and Blake’s ‘Limit to Your Love’.

One of the best things about Splendour is the friendly atmosphere, with only a smattering of douchebags; strangers bonded over joints, sing-alongs and laughing at others falling over in the mud.

Splendour, we’ll see you next year.

Maya Rose

Felicity Pickering

SALLY COLEMAN

NAOMI RUSSO

VERTIGO

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35

bored stupid ?!

If you’re feeling a bit frisky, it might be because spring is fast approaching. But forget romance, astrologist Hannah Story is here to talk about the sexier side of life.*

V IR G O

C A P R IC O R N

GE MINI

23 August – 22 September

21 December – 20 January

20 May – 21 June

Sometimes your friends like to call you ‘the rabbit’. Until lately, you never understood the nickname. However, once you’ve tried to introduce Christina, Simone, Sarah, Yvonne and Nathanial to your parents over the course of one month, you’ll understand. Then you’ll smile to yourself.

He bit down on your dick. You yelped. It was awkward. You hope he might stop using teeth so much now. He won’t.

Break up with him before he does it again. You can get sexy with someone with a more refined gag reflex and a fuller head of hair.

LIBR A

PIS CES

CANCER

22 September – 23 October

18 February- 20 March

20 May – 21 June

Oops! Your condom will break! If your partner is female (and you’re not), head to the nearest chemist and pick up the morning-after pill. If your partner is male, you should probably go get a check-up. THEN CONTINUE TO HAVE GREAT SAFE SEX. Because the definition of good sex is ‘sex without getting herpes’.

You will tie your dog up on the side of the street, then walk upstairs to the sex shop. Sure it’s 10am, but that old lady eyeballing you needs to get her nose out of your beeswax. You’ll probably buy a conservatively shaped vibrator and go home to wow your partner.

Don’t leave used condoms lying around, or no one will want to sleep with you. How can you live up to your name as ‘Most Sexiest Sexy Person’ if no one even wants to be in the same room as you? Breath mints might also help.

S C O R PIO

A R IES

LEO

23 October – 22 November

20 March– 19 April

22 July – 22 August

You will be accused of having a dirty mind but you’ll maintain that there’s nothing dirty about the word “slippery”, not even when coupled with the word “cunt”. Your best friend will tell you that you need to take a week off schmoozing, but you can’t. Sex is how you stay so lean.

Your hand will be on her clit and she’ll be screaming, then she’ll be screaming really loudly and you’ll wish she’d quiet down because mum might be home soon but gee she has nice breasts and you’d like to see her again sometime if mum doesn’t come home please don’t come home.

S A G I T TA R I U S

TA U R U S

22 November – 21 December

19 April – 20 May

You’re a fucking goddess, you know that? Everyone wants to fuck you. There is no denying it. You are an incredibly attractive human being. Put on your tightest skirt and go dancing, boy or girl or gender-fluid-friend, because you are about to meet someone handsome.

VERTIGO

You give bad head. Watch a YouTube tutorial or read Cosmo or something, I don’t know. It’s possible that you can’t be helped. But maybe if you just show a little enthusiasm, maybe moan a little, people will stop complaining.

ISS07

E.T. wont be cumming home. He’ll be cumming everywhere else because this month you’ll discover your inner daredevil and begin having sex in unexpected places: public toilets, the local playground during the middle of the night, on your roommate’s motorcycle, on top of a lightly oiled bald man…

Leo doesn’t even need to read their horoscope. They don’t have time.

They’re too busy having sex on a waterbed, and not even falling off in a puddle of bodily fluids and water. You heard right; not everyone has piercings that break the waterbed. But if you do, take them out first.

*Aquarius is in a sex coma. They’ve been out for a few hours now, and their partner is trying to figure out what to tell their parents.

39

Profit/(Loss)

Profit/(Loss) before tax and dep’n Income Tax

EXPENDITURE Bluebird Breakfast Grants Bookshop Education Vertigo Magazine Clubs & Collectives SRC Orientation Legal Service

REVENUE Funding Campaigns and activities Orientation Member subscriptions Interest received Sundry income Bookshop sales Vertigo advertising

461,411

72,403

72,403 -

766,429

1,049,710 461,411 -

56,582 25,000 265,075 224,618 43,930 62,890 72,122 16,212 -

838,832

1,511,121

76,733 40,000 288,997 221,959 56,101 87,701 73,217 26,109 178,893

519,178 2,712 3,701 2,153 100,802 984 178,586 30,716

2011 $ 1,200,000 1,900 1,346 91,046 809 194,300 21,720

2012 $

INCOME STATEMENT FOR THE YEAR ENDED 31 DECEMBER 2012

48,350 26,360 74,710

57,784 16,591 74,375

8,748 8,748

83,123 2,397,663

CURRENT LIABILITIES Trade and other payables Short term provisions Total Current Liabilities NON-CURRENT LIABILITIES Provisions Total Non-Current Liabilities

TOTAL LIABILITES NET ASSETS

TOTAL EQUITY

Retained earnings

2,397,663

2,397,663

2,018,045

2,480,786 TOTAL ASSETS

EQUITY

3,936

8,471 Total Non-Current Assets

1,936,251

1,936,251

1,936,251

81,794

7,084

7,084

3,936

8,471

NON-CURRENT ASSETS Property, plant and equipment

2,014,109

1,988,626 25,483

2011 $

2,472,315

2,434,158 38,157

2012 $

Total Current Assets

CURRENT ASSETS Cash and cash equivalents Trade and other receivables

BALANCE SHEET AS AT 31 DECEMBER 2012

UNIVERSIT Y OF TECHNOLOGY SYDNEY STUDENTS’ ASSOCIATION

SA REPORTS

Hello!

How’s it going? I hope you’ve been going well and are now in the full swing of things for Semester Two. Here at the Students’ Association we’re bursting at the seams with activity, just take a look at the brief snapshot below.

Enrol to Vote, Unlock Your Vote!

Are you enrolled to vote? Are your details up to date? It is vital that in this election you have the opportunity to cast your vote and have your say. We are living in troubling times, and issues such as climate change, refugee policy, and education funding are all being torn apart and thrown around by our politicians.

You might feel like your vote has little impact, but collectively, the student vote has a lot of power.

Enrol or update your details by going to the Australian Electoral Commission website http://www.aec.gov.au/ Too often, young people get locked out of the decisions politicians make about our future. The National Union of Students (NUS) is running a campaign to unlock this potential, and deliver to our country’s leaders a list of demands for future government policy. You can visit the website http://myfutureourvoice.com.au/ and get involved in the campaign!

Young Workers’ Day of Action

Are you a working student? Are you getting paid what you’re entitled to and sure you’re being treated fairly in the workplace? Exploitation of students, particularly international students, is routine in many workplaces in Sydney and around the country.

On August 8, the Young Workers’ Day of Action, we sought to draw attention to these issues and to make sure students were better informed about their rights at work, and how to improve their working conditions. We talked about the importance of joining your workers’ union, such as United Voice for hospitality staff, and participating in the broader union movement.

National Day of Action, Stop the Education Cuts!

The National Day of Action is coming up in Sydney on August 20 at 1pm. This day is crucial to show a strong opposition to the horrendous uni funding cuts supported by both Labor and the Coalition, and to demand that student star t-up scholarships and indigenous student scholarships don’t get put on a loan scheme.

If you care about your future, and would rather the government’s money was spent on education and not offshore refugee detention centres, do not miss this protest!

If you’d like to find out anything more about the campaign or get involved, don’t hesitate to send me LYNDAL BUTLER an email.

President, UTS Students’ Association Email: sapresident2013@gmail.com

VERTIGO

ISS07

SA REPORTS

So, maybe around 3000 of you pick up a copy of Vertigo.

Maybe a few hundred even glance over this. Then minus my friends, the editors and the people I bully into this (Hi Mum…) there’s about five of you. I LOVE YOU GUYS. And for those five, I expect you to know all the things that are happening on campus right about now.

First off, the National Day of Action (NDA). Another is coming up on August 20 and it’s going to be big. For those that didn’t see the last few NDAs, basically, we (the national student body) are getting really shitty about the tertiary education budget being cut back to bare bones. Especially infuriating is that a lot of scholarships, like the $1000 you get on the Start-up Scholarship, are now going to be loans.

So that money you just got will be added to your HECSHELPS. Before you roll your eyes and scoff “an extra K isn’t going to matter that much” just think about who is going to be most effected: off the bat, everyone on Centrelink.

Then rural scholarships and indigenous scholarships are also becoming loans, leading to further setbacks for already struggling students.

And what if this doesn’t affect you? Well, your academics are being put on casual contracts. Doesn’t affect you hey?

But now your tutor can’t take sick leave, so she’ll be attempting to deal with her fever while explaining Chi Square charts.

That’s going to suck for you, because that shit is on your mid-term for sure.

Wanna raise something that happened in your lecture?

Your tutors aren’t going to know, because they weren’t there – they don’t get paid for it. So they’re probs flipping burgers at Maccas or dealing with that clean up on Aisle 5.

ANYWAY, I’m hoping y’all don’t need that much convincing. Education is important, I say this a lot. But srsly dude.

1pm August 20 at The Tower. We shall be there making everyone more aware. Given the election is coming, it is most relevant now.

Speaking of the election, you can vote. You should vote.

Can you vote? Not ‘can you fill out the squares with a pen and put it in a box’, but have you enrolled? For federal elections you need to do that. I know, I know, it’s annoying, but really, if you haven’t noticed, shit’s fucked. Not just education-wise. Look at some of the big issues: Refugees, the National Disability Insurance Scheme, youth allowance, health care. Did you know that abortions are illegal in NSW? And that Papua New Guinea has only recently stopped punishing homosexuality with the death penalty?

Anyway. Yeah. That’s it. Go forth and do some shit.

Email: lucille.bonanno@gmail.com

LUCY BONANNO Education Vice President, UTS Students’ Association

COLLECTIVES

ALISON WHITTAKER

JESSICA XU

The Wom*n’s Collective laid the foundations for a stellar year in the Autumn Semester. The resources and networks of astounding wom*n and allies that each of us have accessed, fostered and developed (not unlike a secret garden of feminist dreams or, to be more frank, a pretty hardcore feminist Avengers-esque team) have become incredibly handy over our busiest season in my memory.

As you may know, LifeChoice is encroaching like a bad, dangerous stink, and we have launched an effort to limit and stop them. Over 600 emails were sent to the concerned parties in an exam period, and this appears to have closed them off for a while. Plans are underway in the Collective to develop a pro-choice club in reaction to LifeChoice and to mitigate the damage put forward by a one-sided discourse. The statewide wom*n’s network established by NSW Wom*n’s Of ficers this year also organised a picket of LifeChoice’s conference. Attendance was modest, but fierce and relentless; signs were sparkly and our message got through.

In July, myself and other Collective members returned from Network of Women Students Australia conference (NOWSA), a yearly wom*n’s conference. This year it was held in Melbourne. The Collective thanks the efforts of the organisers. Some notewor thy things happened at this conference, including: • Organising groups against LifeChoice • Sharing institutional knowledge • The establishment of a low socioeconomic status caucus • Commitments to improve the logistics, autonomy and presence of the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander and Women of Colour caucuses • Improving intersectional knowledge • The establishment of an online enduring presence for NOWSA • Improvements on the content warning system.

Next year’s NOWSA will be held at Edith Cowan University (ECU). The Collective will be assisting with organising this and is very excited to be working with ECU on this badass and generally tricky pursuit.

Hello to all sentient beings who are fantastic and lucky enough to be reading this!

I hope you’ve had a rejuvenating break – I’ve spent some of mine in the doldrums post-assessment, but also experienced turbo-charged highs after the emotional rollercoaster that was the Network of Women Students Australia conference (NOWSA), hosted by the tireless Wom*n’s Department at Melbourne Uni. Between tasty cake, tea and numerous other topics, we discussed the concept of ‘people of colour’ – a phrase I have been uncomfortable with ever since it came into my vocabulary. The phrase itself was found to be problematic, as it potentially alienates some who don’t feel ‘coloured’ enough, and overlooks the diversity in cultural background of those who self-identify as a person of colour. After much discussion, a friend and I stumbled across a fantastic definition of the people who the Ethno-cultural Collective should be for – those who have felt oppressed or discriminated against because of their cultural background.

From that conference, we have established a national network (which reaches Per th, New Zealand and San Francisco!) for wom*n students of colour to safely vent their frustrations, discuss whatever they want and support each other in their endeavours. It is currently an online space, but we are hoping to expand this offline to a Sydney network for people of colour, including hang outs/ins/ togethers, intersectionality workshops, skills-sharing events and whatever people want!

There’s even more exciting news with World Fiesta Night coming up on August 28. It’s the biggest event in the UTS Ethno-cultural calendar, and forms part of the UTS Union’s In-Fusion Festival in Week 5. World Fiesta will be a celebration of UTSian diversity hosted by vibrant cultural clubs. The Glasshouse will be decked out for the night, with free food for eclectic tastebuds, live music

by Son Veneno, performances from different cultural clubs, a photo exhibition and a dance floor. So bring your friends, your festive mood, a mind open to different foods, stories, tunes and dance moves, and dig up your own cultural dress if you’re keen for an inclusive night of celebration! World Fiesta Night entry is free, but RSVP is essential! Make sure you book your spot at http:// worldfiesta2013.eventbrite.com If you’re interested in any of the above or just want to chat, send us an email or talk to us to us on Facebook at UTSSA Ethno-cultural Collective.

UTS Wom*n’s Officer

Email: utswomenscollective@gmail.com

UTS Ethno-cultural Convenor

Email: ethnoculturaluts@gmail.com

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