Newspaper Issue 3 - 2015 by UTS Vertigo

ISSUE NO. 3

8TH APRIL University of Technology Sydney Student Publication

UTS FAILS THE TEST TO DIVESTMENT

INSIDE NEWS

Minimum reward for minimum pay, Consent gets radical, Sex worker awareness & The changing face of the Australian Defrence Force

FEATURE

by Ante Bruning

Apologies to our mothers UTS has directly ignored overwhelming support from students that it divest from fossil fuels. In October 2014, 74% of UTS students voted Yes to Divestment — a campaign geared towards UTS ending its investment in fossil fuels. On the surface, it appears that nothing has eventuated from any of this. This is disheartening, especially when, according to the UTS Student Association President Dean Mattar, last year’s elections were one of the most student-involved and contested in the history of UTS. Alex McInnis, a member of the UTS Enviro Collective, said: “as far as [the UTS Enviro Collective] knows, [UTS] haven’t responded to that referendum.” As we are steadily getting into the autumn semester, the Collective is trying to set up meetings with the UTS University Council. The UTS Enviro Collective were at the forefront of the campaign, raising awareness

and organising student surveys, an open letter targeted at UTS staff for their support, as well as a picnic celebrating the referendum result. “Currently [UTS] haven’t communicated to [the UTS Enviro Collective] that they are supportive,” Alex said. “It seems like they have a managed fund, so they haven’t put much thought into where their money’s going — it’s managed externally.” Presently the Collective does not have specific information about where UTS invests its funds, but managed funds are renown for investing in fossil fuels, unless they are an ethical fund. Finding out this information is a crucial step towards making a fossil free UTS a reality. Divestment is not exclusive to UTS. It is about the allocation of investments by major institutions internationally— from religious institutions to local governments. As far as universities in Australia go, Alex said: “there is a sense that UTS would be an

easier win… they have little money invested in the first place, so there’s less money to move over.” A discussion with Patrick Woods, Deputy Vice Chancellor of Resources at UTS, paints a more promising picture about UTS and its position on Divestment. According to Mr Woods, UTS has definitely responded to Divestment: “unfortunately, from an institutional perspective, these things do not happen overnight… There’s been discussion and direction everywhere from the Council of the university, through to the Financial Committee of the university, through to the senior executive. This is an active topic, and we are looking for a practical resolution to it.” Divestment is past the talking and meeting stages: “It’s now into the formation of draft policy as to how the university could address this. The university does have a strong commitment to environmental and social sustainability, which is what this is all about.

SPORTS

Howling advances, Sevens Heaven & SCG partnership

REVIEWS

Insurgent, 71, Inherent Vice, Kintsugi, Goon, Sushi around campus, Chappie & Citizen Kane

ADVICE

Horoscopes, Sex column & Agony aunt

SATIRE

“Internet.org is not an evil scheme” & George R.R. Martin confirms Ned Stark is Luke Skywalker’s farther

ISSUE NO. 3

CONTENTS COVER

UTS fails the test to deinvestment

EDITORIAL

APOLOGIES AND CORRECTIONS

NEWS

Minimum reward for minimum pay, Consent gets radical, Sex worker awareness & The changing face of the Australian Defrence Force

CLUBS

UTS writer’s society, Comedy club & UTS revue

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

NEWS

The best sealer, ‘Feminist’ is a dirty word, AMA: More medical research needed & The case of the missing Opal cards

MAJOR REPORTS

Education vice president’s report & Secretary’s report

COLLECTIVE REPORTS

Postgrad report, Woman’s collective, CAPA report & Ethnocultural collective

FEATURE

VERTIGO

ISSUE 3. EDITORIAL in March, we are also thrilled to provide you with a lot of content exploring feminist issues and discourse. As usual, we have a bunch of reviews for you to dig your teeth into. Ever wondered how on earth those teenage lovers from Fault In Our Stars would work out as siblings? James Wilson has all the answers in his Insurgent review. Maybe you want to check out the cheapest places near campus to get your daily sushi feed? Monica Rafoo has you covered. Of course, we want to make sure that your funny bone is sufficiently tickled, so make sure you hop on over to Rear Window, our satire section that will keep you up to date and informed with all the latest cultural and political shenanigans. And maybe you don’t care about news, politics or other people’s opinions, which is fine. You’re probably reading this at the end of a long, painful day of classes and the thought of pumping any more knowledge into your brain makes you want to weep loudly. Thank-

fully, we have some more light-hearted articles to help you wind down. Maybe you’d like to cringe at the absurdity of a bag of air from a Kanye West concert being sold on eBay, or maybe you’d like to relieve your childhood and revel in the excitement that yet another classic Disney Pixar sequel is in the works. No matter what, we hope that our third time’s a charm, and there’ll be a little something for everyone in good old issue number three. To conclude, we shall leave you with a few words of wisdom from Alexander Hislop’s 1862 New York Times Bestseller The Proverbs of Scotland: “The third time’s lucky.” Whether it’s your third time picking up a Vertigo, your third day procrastinating that pesky assignment, or you’re about to embark on that third date, we hope you get lucky.

EDITORIAL & DESIGN

CONTRIBUTORS

WITH SUPPORT FROM

EDITORS

COVER STORY IMAGES

UTS Student Association Spotpress Pty Ltd. Marrickville

Allison Bermingham Gabrielle Rawlings James Wilson Joshua Cram June Murtagh Rachael Versace Sambavi Seeraman Cameron Hart Katie Kendall Christopher John Quyen Dinh

Erland Howden

All good things come in threes: Primary colours, the Hanson brothers, the bones in the human ear, sides of a triangle, leaves on a shamrock, Musketeers, Stooges, and Destiny’s Child (RIP). When it comes to writing, studies show that the “rule of three” ensures things that come in threes are funnier, more effective and far more satisfying than any other number of things. This is something we hope to have achieved with our third edition of the Vertigo newspaper. We have a number of goodies up our sleeves with our lucky number three. Srinidhi Paranji and Jasmine Singh report on the scrapping of the Medicare co-payment and the value of medical research amidst a time of uncertainty when it comes to funding. Ante Bruning gives an insight into whatever the hell happened to that divestment thing we were all asked to vote on during 2014’s student election. Following on from the success of International Women’s Day earlier

Stay classy, June and the rest of the Vertigo team – Allison, Cameron, Chris, Gabrielle, James, Katie, Rachael and Sambavi.

VERTIGO

Apologies to our mothers

SPORTS

Howling advances, Sevens Heaven & SCG partnership

POP CULTURE

Kan-ye believe it, Toy Story 4 - Upcoming Pixar rom com & In memoriam-Harve Bennet

REVIEWS

Insurgent, 71, Inherent Vice, Kintsugi, Goon, Sushi around campus, Chappie & Citizen Kane

GAMES

21 SUB EDITORS

Sudoku

ADVICE

CREATIVE DIRECTORS

Horoscopes, Sex column & Agony aunt

SATIRE

“Internet.org is not an evil scheme” & George R.R. Martin confirms Ned Stark is Luke Skywalker’s farther

REAR WINDOW Foley is “getting down to business” & Greens euphoric with historic win

Alex Blair Jade Smith Divina Blanca

Ting He Rose Wallace McEwen

DESIGNERS Owen Cramp Collette Duong Matthew Harrington Joy Li Brian Nguyen Angela Tam Bec Lourey

WRITERS Alex Blair Ante Bruning Clare Aston Declan Bowring Divina Blanca Diala Salim Eliza Berlage Henry Jacobs James Wilson Jasmine Singh Joseph Kilby June Murtagh Katie Kendall Kien Le Board Mon Rafoo Oliver Morassut Raveena Grover S Lim Salazar Slytherin Sam Howes Samuel Elliott Sarah Mulhearn Srinidhi Paranji Taylah Schrader

COPYRIGHT Vertigo and its entire contents are protected by copyright. Vertigo will retain reprint rights; contributors retain all other rights for resale and republication. No material may be produced without the prior written consent of the copyright holders.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Vertigo would like to pay respect to the Traditional Owners of the land on which the UTS now stands, the Gadigal and Kuringgai people of the Eora Nation. We acknowledge that more than 500 Indigenous Nations shared this land for over 40 000 years before European invasion. We extend our solidarity and commitment to those Indigenous peoples, in Australia and internationally, who partake in the ongoing struggle for the land rights, sovereignty, self-determination, and recognition and compensation for past injuries.

VERTIGO

8TH APRIL

APOLOGIES AND CORRECTIONS Vertigo would like to apologise for a lack of a trigger warning on an illusion to suicide in the article “A Reel Fight Against Cyberbullies”.

CORRECTIONS In the club profile for the UTS French Society, conversation classes should have been listed as between 1-2 on Mondays. Nous sommes désolés. [Tony] Abbott’s name was misspelt on Page 1. We apologise for this oversight in the same way he apologised to the university sector for cutting their funding. The name ‘Chris McKay’ was erroneously attributed to one of the writers. We apologise to Chrysanthemum McQuay for this. The numbers in the crossword were too blurry to make completing the crossword. We apologise for making it difficult to properly complete it, but do not apologise for the humour that has come from that mistake.

We always apologise for misspelling Kate Alway’s name in the Office Bearer reports. Always. We apologise for incorrectly spelling New Zealand in Alex Blair’s report on the Cricket World Cup. We don’t apologise for smashing them in the Final.

PAGE 1 CONTINUED

But we’re looking at a range of ethical investment options; investigations are ongoing. Those investigations and the draft of what the options are for the university will go to Council in the near future.” Mr Woods was unable to advise on the draft policy as to what some of these ethical investment options are. Mr Woods said: “Suffice to say that UTS has got a very, very small amount of money on the market compared to other universities. We’re probably at one per cent of what the other universities have… So, we are looking at amalgamating our money with others’, but, again, that is something that we’ll review the practicality of, to increase the size of the options for the fund managers. We are also looking to include using the United Nations’ Principles of Responsible Investment… and that is the basis of our approach.” Responsible Investment refers to an approach to investment, which acknowledges, explicitly, the relevance to the investor of en-

vironmental, social and government factors, as well as the long-term health and sustainability of the market as a whole. This information is readily available on the United Nations-supported Principles of Responsible Investment website, which provides details of the initiative — an international network of investors working together — and the six principles which underpin it.

“MR WOODS CONFIRMED THAT AROUND $30 MILLION AUSTRALIAN DOLLARS HAVE BEEN INVESTED SUSTAINABLY BY UTS.” Mr Woods said: “We’ll be consulting with a number of people before we go rushing off to change any policies, at this stage.” From the sounds of things, the path to UTS divesting from fossil fuel expenditure will take time. However, delays — time

spent working out the best approach — is very much necessary. Mr Woods advised: “If we rushed into it right now, we would run a danger of having no return on our investment. This is not to the benefit of the students, or to the university in general… We do have an obligation to maximise, ethically, the return on our investments.” No return on investments leads to further cuts to funding — “it would mean that the income to the university, and therefore the benefits to the students and staff and, indeed, the programs of the university would have to be re-evaluated.” There is a dialogue between each of the universities around Australia when it comes to Divestment, as it stands. However, the end result will differ between each. Consistency may be achieved in future years, but again, as Mr Woods attends, this takes time. Mr Woods confirmed that around $30 million Australian dollars have been invested

sustainably by UTS: all new buildings have been built according to Five or Six Star standards, meaning they have had infrastructure created for them to minimise their greenhouse gas emissions, use of water, and use of phosphorus. According to Mr Woods, the focus needs to be on behavioural changes by individuals: “When you think about the amount of electricity that people are using today versus what they were using five years ago, it is far, far less perverse — than it ever was back then — today. And the reason for this difference is because the investment the companies and institutions are making, and the behaviour of the people in those places not using electricity: the result is, that the energy companies are now struggling to keep up their income.” Much in the same vein as Captain Planet: the power, apparently, is yours.

ISSUE NO. 3

VERTIGO

MINIMUM REWARD FOR MINIMUM PAY by Raveena Grover and Diala Salim Image: David Firester

University Student Representative Council (SRC) workers are being paid below the minimum wage. Student committee representatives from the University of Sydney (USyd) and the University of Technology, Sydney (UTS), are being hit hard by the lack of funding allocated to pay them for their work. Education Vice President of the University of Technology Sydney Student Association (UTSSA), Max Murphy, 19, said full time officers get substantially below what other Student Unions pay their Office Bearers. “Almost all Student Unions that pay their officers give full time positions the

minimum wage…something like $35,000 per year. The UTSSA pays full time Office Bearers almost half that at roughly 19,000 per year.” The full time paid positions are taken by the President and Education Vice-President. Close to $13,000,000 was allocated for student organisations and services to the University of Sydney, according to the 2014 USyd Student Services and Amenities Fee (SSAF) Allocation. According to the 2014 UTS SSAF, almost $5,600,000 was allocated, less than half compared to the University of Sydney’s. University of Sydney Union (USU) former Environmental Officer,

Clodagh Schofield, 22, said she dedicated over 30 hours per week to her position and was not paid. “I am [bothered by it], and it makes me feel undervalued,” Ms Schofield said. The University of Sydney student said the recognition she received is not indicative of the extensive time and effort she had placed into organising events and general administration duties. President of the National Union of Students (NUS) Rose Steele, 22, said union workers are paid a minimum wage. “Due to often poorly funded organisations, student representatives are often paid

immigrant, queer, trans, intersex, disabled, sexually liberated, engaging in perceived risky behaviours like drinking and drug taking, and yes, often but not proportionally, by being cis men. What’s worse, those people who are marginalised and delegitimised by our social and legal expectations of victimhood are the most likely to experience sexual violence. Indigenous, immigrant, disabled, queer and trans women are overwhelmingly targeted (both consciously and unconsciously) by perpetrators precisely because of their marginalisation and the ethos of negative assumptions that surround their identities and capacities to consent. Horrifyingly, for many Intersex individuals, this violence is state sanctioned and practiced as part of ‘normalising’ surgeries and therapies. At the Gendered Violence Research Network’s Inaugural Conference in February, academics, researchers and practitioners from across the Pan Pacific region came together to discuss this global crisis of violence. The message that was overwhelmingly conveyed is that carceral approaches to dissuading perpetrators (ie. threatening them with gaol time) fail both in their implementation and their scope. A vast majority of perpetrators do not simply assault or harass in defiance of the law – they genuinely do not perceive their

actions to constitute assault or harassment at all, and in many cases neither do agents of the penal and judicial systems. What is called for then, they stated, is a multi-faceted approach - one which recognises abuse, assault and harassment as symptoms of complex and interwoven systems of structural disadvantage, and one which recognises these systems as affecting all aspects of social, institutional and bureaucratic interaction. This means a complete overhaul of both institutional and individual understandings of consent and marginalised peoples. In an attempt to implement these strategies on campus, the UTSSA Wom*n’s Collective, aided by the Queer Collective, endeavoured to undertake an educational program that targets students conceptions surrounding consent and their inherent problematics. Titled ‘Rad Sex and Consent Week’, this sex (re)education program was the first run at UTS, but many similar events have taken place and continue to take place across campuses around Australia, exploring issues of sex and sexuality relating to different identities, cultures and practices, and developing healthy frameworks for physical and emotional intimacy. For resources relating to consent, sex and sexuality check out facebook.com/UTSRadSex2015 and www.utsstudentarchive.com

CONSENT GETS RADICAL

by Sarah Mulhearn, UTS Womn’s Officer

Content and trigger warnings: discussions of sexual assault and harassment. It’s time to admit an uncomfortable truth: despite the progress myths of yore, and the continual (naive, ignorant) assertions that we have developed a fair and equal society, sexual harassment and assault persist on campus and within Australian society at large. In fact, not only do they persist, but the quantitative studies conducted by the Victorian Centres Against Sexual Assault and the Australian Institute of Criminology reveal a much more sinister trend: they are actually increasing, and at an alarming rate. Alongside this increase, attitudes within our society are becoming progressively callous and sceptical towards victims - painting them as complicit in or welcoming of their own abuse, as exaggerators of acts of violence, or otherwise as inventing those acts entirely for revenge or selfish gain. Colloquially termed Rape Culture, this toxic attitude is deeply embedded in the collective Australian psyche and judicial system, and produces hugely unequal outcomes for victims of harassment and assault, especially where those victims do not fit into the normative image of victimhood. They defy this image by being women of colour, Indigenous,

a minimal stipend to provide an honorarium for their work.” Ms Steele said. Mr Murphy reflects that despite the efforts of office bearers for internal reform, little has been achieved. “…There has been some action to try fix the situation with Office Bearer pay throughout the years but it has been really hard to actually get this reform through as it would involve a constitutional change which is an arduous and slow process.” Mr Murphy said. Mr Murphy is in the process of lodging a formal complaint to the National Tertiary Education Union.

VERTIGO

8TH APRIL

ALL ABOUT WOMEN: HOW TO BE A FEMINIST by Eliza Berlage

Those hoping to score advice on being a feminist were sorely disappointed. The panel, chaired by journalist Geraldine Doogue, and featuring famous feminists - Clementine Ford, Roxane Gay, Celeste Liddle, Anita Sarkeesian, Tara Moss and Germaine Greer raised as many questions for inquisition as ideas for inspiration. What does being a feminist mean? I don’t know, I’m still learning. Who can be one? Anyone who identifies as a woman. What should feminists do? Learn about herstory, believe in equality, smash the system. For a panel that was a cross-section of old and young, white women and women of colour, there was more unity than anticipated. Roxane Gay and Clementine Ford concurred in a realism, which identified that women’s progress means prioritising access to childcare and birth control. Tara Moss used Sarkeesian’s need for as many bodyguards as Obama to exemplify the devastating truth of the violent threats that impinge

on women’s quality of life. The ever controversial Germaine Greer advocated for better inclusiveness of older women in feminism, and described the efforts of current politicians to understand women’s needs as effective as “yodelling into a vacuum”. Celeste Liddle explained the impact of intersectionality on her identity, of which being a feminist and being Aboriginal were inextricable. Most of all, they agreed feminism is not about you – it’s about us. Feminist Frequency founder, Anita Sarkeesian encapsulated this by criticising “feel good personal empowerment”, and arguing to refocus energy on a “movement striving for justice.” Feminism helps women value their voice, but in the climb it’s important to remember to build other women up and not tear them down. After all, there is a greater oppressor. However, if the goal is to leave a legacy more equitable for each generation, then hopefully next year’s panel will include representation for disabled and trans wom*n.

THE CHANGING FACE OF THE AUSTRALIAN DEFENCE FORCE. by Taylah Schrader

Wing Commander Fleur James, Commander Cath Hayes, and Major Charmaine Benfield formed an impressive militarised triad, demonstrating the final product of continuous female participation in the Australian Defence Force over the last 116 years. The three ADF officers, representing the three branches of Australia’s military, were part of an All About Women 2015 discussion panel, titled “Woman Warriors,” where ‘change’ and ‘values’ were the buzzwords of the day. Despite recent scandals concerning sexual harassment in the ADF, all three women professed an unwavering confidence in an organisation they felt had transformed. “They (the Chiefs of Army, Air and Navy) had already started, but I think what had happened was that both the heart and the head was engaged,” explained Major Charmaine Benfield, “that’s why we have seen this incredible acceleration of reform, this incredible move towards a more inclusive organisation.” The panel began with individual recounts of entering the Australian armed services. Each officer was given the opportunity to reflect on their introduction to the military, and despite careers that had started back in the 1980’s and 1990’s, each had felt supported by family and friends in their choice to enlist.

“I decided at fourteen that I was going to join the air-force, and my parents were quite supportive of that,” said Wing Commander Fleur James, member of the first contingent of air traffic controllers to deploy to Mogadishu in 1993, “I joined as an air traffic controller and enjoyed a fantastic career as a traffic controller for 13 years.” Her sentiments were echoed by Commander Hayes, who went on to explain how her relationship with the armed forces had changed as she grew up and took on a leadership role. After 23 years, Commander Hayes is the Commanding Officer of HMAS Toowoomba, and was the first woman to command an Australian warship in the Middle East. “I joined to drive a ship and yes it was exciting, but as I grew up I realised the most exciting thing I do is watching and leading young men and women to do amazing things, and they inspire me every day,” Commander Hayes said, speaking proudly about her current 157 crewmembers, 27 of which are women. The discussion then moved into new territory, settling upon the legacy of the 2013 “Jedi Council” scandal that is often seen as the catalyst for the institutionalised reformation of the ADF. Alex Shehadie, the Director of Cultural Reform in the ADF at the Australian Human Rights Commission, and former Director of the Review into the Treatment of Women

in the ADF, praised the actions of the three chiefs of Army, Navy and Air Force, who have taken personal responsibility of the ADF’s changing attitudes towards women in the military. “There are lots of these structural barriers that, over the last three or four years now that I’ve been working with the ADF, are slowly being dismantled,” Ms Shedhadie said, and quoted her former co-Director, Elizabeth Broderick. “Change comes about when you engage the head and not just the heart.” She then reminded the audience that structural barriers still exist in the military that impede female ascension into leadership positions. She emphasised that cases of sexual harassment and social exclusion were secondary to the issue of balancing a family and career. “Our research shows it’s a very hierarchical organisation and some of those key gateways to go up into more senior ranks are actually in those child-bearing years,” she explained, ‘so women often find that when they go off and have babies its actually in a critical gateway, and if they take a bit of time out from the services they can reach a terminal glass ceiling, which means they can’t go any further.” No one on the panel claimed that ADF, despite its changes, was a perfect organisa-

tion - however, all were satisfied with the measures being taken to transform the military so it maintained relevance within a new generation of personnel whose values reflect a greater need for diversity. “This is a different organisation,” said Commander Cath Hayes, “we have changed policies, and those policies now have to be engineered into an organisation. All agreed that despite the endurance of structural barriers inherent to the military, the organisation as a whole has moved forward to become more flexible and empathetic to the needs of its corps. “The major change that I have seen, outside of the policy and outside of recruitment and the way we do business, has been the attitudes, particularly within Army,” said Major Charmaine Benfield, “(Over) the last 10 to 15 odd years, we’ve been going on continuous operations where the capability of the human that you send is far more important than whether they are male or female.” As Alex Shehadie pointed out, “Diversity adds to the capability of the organisation,” and as situations that require the armed services’ intervention become more varied in both an international and local context, it’s important that the capacity of the force isn’t held back by irrelevant ideas of gender or sexuality.

ISSUE NO. 3

VERTIGO

CLUBS & ACTIVITIES WRITERS’ SOCIETY

UTS REVUE SOCIETY

UTS COMEDY CLUB

uts.writers.society@gmail.com

utsrevuesociety@gmail.com

utscomedyclub@hotmail.com

UTS Writers’ Society is for those who are enthused by, impassioned with, and in awe of the written word. From appreciating the literary work of others, in our book club and open mic nights, to improving your writing in weekly workshop, writer’s society is an easy creative outlet right on campus. At our most famous event Lofty Words, where for a night the stage in the Loft is yours for the taking. But this year we’ve introduced new events such as to our new weekly workshops which help Writers’ Society is grow as a platform to explore and share your work. Sharing creative works is an act of vulnerability celebrated by UTS Writers’ Society, and getting involved is an exciting opportunity to share your work and have it celebrated and critiqued by other students. On top of on campus activities, we have opportunities to visit all places a word nerd loves, such as Sydney Writers’ Festival, and extend opportunities to perform and publish writing through both on campus publications and festivals, competitions and journals out in the bid wide real world. Before you start thinking “Don’t you just sit around talking about your feelings and do poetry slams, Jonah Hill parodied that in 22 Jump Street, is it going to damage my street cred?” give UTS Writers’ Society a chance and we’ll show you how we have come together as a group of passionate students and fast friends. If you’re interested you can get in contact with us through the email above, or jump onto our facebook page UTS Writers’ Society.

The UTS Revue Society is a student-run performing arts collective who’s main objective is to writing, staging and performing a oneoff, original variety show ‘The UTS Revue’ each year. The show, based off a different theme each year, involves an array of sketches intertwined with several short videos and song and dance performances. However, unlike other university Revues that are faculty specific, the UTS Revue Society accepts students from all faculties, actively encouraging them to participate in the show. The various areas members can become involved in the show include acting, singing, dancing, sketch writing, directing, choreography, video production, band, stage managing and more. The society also hosts various performing arts events including Open Mic and Trivia Nights, with the society recently holding their Meet & Greet Party and Trivia Night in association with the Writers Society in the UTS Underground, both experiencing impressive turnouts. These events are just the first of many planned in conjunction with Activate UTS and other UTS societies, including Arts VS Science and Bond Ball, which are shaping up to be the biggest events of year. Last year the society delivered three successful performances of their ‘Wizard of Oz’ themed Revue ‘The Wizard of UTS’, as well as several popular society based events, including Grimm Ball, co-hosted with UTS Backstage, and this year the executive team only aim to build on the society’s success found in 2014. With an exciting new theme in store for this year’s show, their membership numbers doubling on Clubs Day and a new web series ‘Campus Cops’ they currently have in production, this year is shaping up to be their biggest one yet! Signing up to be a member of the society only costs $5 with auditions for the 2015 UTS Revue occurring in the middle of April.

The UTS Comedy Club is the most laughable club on campus. We consider ourselves purveyors of comedy, silliness and general tomfoolery as though laughter were a fine wine. And, like a group of winos with delusions of sophistication, we have funnelled this passion into a dedicated way of life. Whether you like to laugh or be laughed at, we at the UTS Comedy Club do all in our power to make your dreams a terrifying reality, with all manner of vaguely funny events. Once a month, we host Ad-Liberation; a night where anyone can come to watch or perform in a whole slew of improv games shamelessly copied from Whose Line is it Anyway. And if you like Stand Up Comedy, we have great deals for cheap shows with the Laugh Stand in Glebe. Not to mention our own upcoming workshops, should you want to try out some material yourself. On top of all that, this year we are proud to introduce a fun new night of merriment, just to make procrastinating study that little bit easier: Club Sandwich. Basically, this deceptively delicious sounding event will see two UTS clubs go head to head in a hyperbolically preposterous panel-style trivia quiz. Golly gee, doesn’t that sound like a bit of fun, children? We will also be hosting movie nights throughout the year. So if you want to catch up on some of the funniest films of all time, and for some reason haven’t bought a Netflix subscription, we’ll be happy to oblige. If any of that tickles your funny bone, consult your doctor... or search for the UTS Comedy Club on facebook and send any emails to utscomedyclub@hotmail.com. Or you can just crudely scrawl any questions on basically any public bathroom stall, and we’ll promptly get back to you.

VERTIGO

8TH APRIL

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Dear UTS Vertigo,

Dear UTS Vertigo,

I have long been fascinated by how difficult it must be for film studios to decide the order in which actors are credited at the end of movies. Specifically, how do they determine who receives the second from last credit (the one preceded by ‘with’) and who receives the last one (the one after the ‘and’). I imagine the decision must cause considerable frustration and stress for whichever member of staff is required to make the decision. As a show of solidarity, I would request that UTS Vertigo begin putting ‘with’ and ‘and’ credits in their contributors list. Now I know what you’re thinking: We list our contributors alphabetically, and therefore would not have to make any decisions regarding the second from last and last person credited. That is why, as a show of support for our overworked and underappreciated friends in major film studios, I request that UTS Vertigo starts rating the contributions of its contributors. And then has to suffer through the hardship of deciding upon credit order.

I was horrified, truly horrified, to learn that not one member of your editorial team was a trained and practicing ventriloquist. I don’t know if you thought the student body of UTS wouldn’t notice, or if you didn’t care when we did, but I find it appalling, truly appalling, that after years of prejudice thrown at ventriloquists, the editorial team of a university newspaper wouldn’t allow them to raise their voice through an inanimate object. I believe I speak for the entire UTS community (on account of my ventriloquism) when I say: shame on you!

Why did you allow ‘Dumb and Dumber To’ to be made? Do you have such little respect for cinema? As a student newspaper you have a profound responsibility to protect and serve the greater good. How can you justify sitting idly by while Jim Carey and Jeff Daniels were allowed to ruin one of my favourite childhood films? And don’t try to pretend you ‘weren’t aware it would be terrible’ or that you wanted to give them the ‘benefit of the doubt’; ever since they announced the title, using the word ‘to’ instead of the clearly funnier ‘too’ or the correct ‘two’, we could tell this was not going to be a funny film. Yet you let it happen. Why?! What have we done to deserve you abandoning us when we needed you most!?

Yours, Ian McDuncan With Ian McDuncan And Ian McDuncan

Regards, Nosmo Spritz

Dear UTS Vertigo, In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join with others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. “Mankind”. That word should have a different meaning for all of us today. We can’t be consumed by petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it’s fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom... Not from tyranny, oppression or persecution... but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared with one voice: “We will not go quietly into the night!” We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today, we celebrate our Independence Day! Yours, President Obama

With disappointment, Samatha J. Lax

Dear UTS Vertigo, Congratulations on the first two issues of the newspaper. I found them both informa- tive and made of paper, and my hat goes off to you for achieving at least one of those aforementioned things. Now, let’s get down to brass tacks. Your article from Issue 1 entitled ‘Story Continued From Page 1’ (p.3) was somewhat confusing as it appeared to start mid-thought bubble and the usual structure that is present in a newspaper article was not there. I also find the headline lacking. If I may, I would suggest ‘We’re not on page 1 anymore’ or perhaps in big letters, a banner, ‘STORY!’ that would provoke a range of opinions, most of them incensed. Anyhow, the article was good, but the headline seemed to have nothing to do with the content. As to your 2nd issue, I draw your attention using a mixture of crayons to the article entitled ‘Abbott is a moron or a madman but not both’ (p.9). I fail to see why he cannot be both – and even more things. Like a robot or a type of lettuce that is a brand new superfood available in bunches at Woolworths for $6.99. It seems to me that your writer of that article is either short-sighted, or having not ever seen him before, perhaps I am short-sighted and need to book an appointment with my optometrist. Regardless, I look forward reading more about our leafy, robotic PM in future issues. Finally, congratulations on the Rear Window section. It’s full of spunk and I soak it up. I make a note to pick up a new copy each time I’m at university. Yours Fraternally, Walter Plinge

ISSUE NO. 3

VERTIGO

‘FEMINIST’ IS A DIRTY WORD WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY WE NEED TO USE IT

by Katie Kendall

So Julie Bishop is almost a feminist, despite not labelling herself one. And if you are avoiding the label but are all about equality, then so are you. I’m not here to argue that anyone should be a feminist (although you should), but the fact of the matter is that if it walks like a feminist and it quacks like a feminist, it’s a waste of airtime to talk of it not being one. The belief that we can forgo labels that promote political ideology is not only a mark of privilege, but also a selective ignorance to the reality of the game Minister Bishop is playing. In the modern democratic climate you have to label yourself to make your politics more accessible to the information consuming, live tweeting masses. Whether you are calling yourself a Liberal, a conservative, a unionist, or a feminist, labels are the currency of political rhetoric. It has never been on the agenda of a politician to fall short of a label, except where there is the risk of backlash.

ister Bishop said. “It’s being judged on what And man, does feminism carry backlash. Last year, Time Magazine’s website hosted you actually seek to achieve rather than how a poll to discuss what word people think you label yourself.” However, Minister Bishop went on to unshould be banned in 2015, and despite the plethora of deroga- dermine this almost logical idea by reminding tory and misogynistic words they could have everyone just how important she thinks labels chosen to feature for the sake of discussion, are, addressing panel host Annabel Crabb. “Annabel, you wrote in the paper yesterthey chose to include the word feminist. The day that you are disappointed that I don’t justification was as follows: “You have nothing against feminism itself, describe myself as a feminist. I am so disapbut when did it become a thing that every ce- pointed that you don’t describe yourself as a lebrity had to state their position on whether Liberal.” The audience all laughed at this seemingthis word applies to them, like some politician declaring a party? Let’s stick to the issues ly sick burn, but I think the joke is on Julie. and quit throwing this label around like ticker Identifying as a feminist, in a rhetorical sense, is no different from aligning with a political tape at a Susan B. Anthony parade.” Sound familiar? Maybe because this is the identity. I could guess panel host Annabel answer we hear all too often from all facets Crabb does not identify as a liberal because of of society, including Minister Bishops state- her left wing political stance, not because she ments of the all female Q&A panel in early agrees with social and fiscal conservatism but “doesn’t want to be pressured into the label”. March. The problem is that people perceive femi“Instead of focusing on so much analysing the labels, let’s look at what people do,” Min- nism as a label with dirt on its hands. There

is no mutual exclusivity to calling oneself a feminist, and acting in a way that promotes feminist ideals. In fact, it can be rather logically concluded, that if you fight for women’s equality internationally and have consistently focused on rising up through the ranks in the male dominated forum, you are a feminist. The real problem we distract from in continually having this conversation is that we allow privileged women to derail the feminist agenda away from those it is most important to. For Julie Bishop to claim that we don’t need terms like feminist, or glass ceiling, is to act as though when one white, upper, cisgendered woman isn’t affected by misogyny, we all aren’t. My only relief is that this was not a debate about men, and why feminist is the wrong label because we totally love men. I don’t think being a feminist makes you hate men. I personally don’t hate men because I’m a feminist; I hate men because they suck.

THE BEST SEALER

by Raveena Grover

The other day I was making my way to the bus stop, in a rush as usual and frustratingly trying to untangle my headphones while sending off a last minute email. Suddenly, I feel something dripping down my right leg and into my shoes. I peel my bag from my shoulder and to my horror see the bottom of it soaked. My brain catches up to me and I realise; I have been betrayed. The rank smelling substance soaking the bottom of my bag was nothing other than the tuna salad I had trusted my plastic container to seal until I was ready to eat. You can imagine my horror - a young, naïve university student just innocently making her way to class, betrayed by something she thought she could trust. I composed myself and made it to the bus stop just in time, shamefully pushing the dirty little betrayer deeper in to my sack until I had sat down, right at the back of the vehicle. Rummaging to the bottom of my bag I pulled out the nasty bluffer, which

was nothing other than a flimsy take-away container. W hy an intelligent, middle-class, working, tertiary student had managed to bestow her trust in such a pathetic piece of plastic we’ll never know. But what I know, and what I am about to divulge to you now is that I have not only learnt from my mistake, but I have also come to find a reliable alternative.

“SAY GOOD-BYE TO RE-WASHED TAKE OUT CONTAINERS AND MESSY PLASTIC BAGS. THE FUTURE FOR ALL OF US IS TUPPERWARE.” Yes, it’s true. I speak of Tupperware. This glorious creation was introduced to the public in 1948 by none other than the father, Earl Tupper. Since that year, the course of container history changed forever.

Tupperware, or Tups, as I fondly refer to it, is not only reliably leak proof: Tupperware provides a wide array of shapes, sizes and depths for your needs, gastronomic or otherwise. Tupperware is a fun and family friendly brand that even toddlers enjoy using. From basic mini containers to cater for your break-time snacks, to more elaborate creations with multiple compartments, lids and designated spaces for even your banana, this brand truly tops anything else in the container industry. Tupperware not only provides a reason for fellow Tup-lovers to gather and gawk at your massive collection, being the envy of your savvy assortment, it provides plastic convenience at just the snap of a lid. Say good-bye to re-washed take out containers and messy plastic bags. The future for all of us is Tupperware. Most importantly, the brand can prevent air-damage to your precious goods for months, and protect them from nasty pollut-

ants and bugs who have nothing better to do than ruin that delicious vegetarian lasagne you spent 2 hours making despite having an essay you hadn’t even started researching for due the next morning. Anyway, I digress. The beauty of Tupperware containers is such that without them, we would be stranded in our flimsy plastic misery, unable to wonderfully compartmentalise our meals and left without reliable alternatives for our precious creations. You can bet, the next time I take a tuna salad to uni, I will be using Tupperware. Father Earl Tupper, I salute you.

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8TH APRIL

AMA: MORE MEDICAL RESEARCH NEEDED by Srinidhi Paranji & Jasmine Singh

Australia’s top medical researchers have united to bring attention to the value of medical research amidst uncertainty of funding, following the scrapping of the Medicare co-payment. The federal government’s aim is to build a $20 billion perpetual endowment fund over the next decade to finance medical research in Australia. The government was set to finance a portion of the Medical Research Future Fund (MRFF) through the $5 copayment revenue. However, the Australian Medical Association (AMA) is content with the scrapping of the co-payment. Federal AMA President, Professor Brian Owler said, “More money for research would be great, but it should not come at the expense of sick people going to the doctor. [The fund] has been held hostage over the co-payment and I think we need to get away from that.” A media release led by Professor Anthony

Cunningham, Director of the Westmead Millennium Institute for Medical Research, expresses the importance of the MRFF reaching its aim as vital for our economy and health system.

“THE RESEARCHERS BELIEVE THAT THE VALUE OF MEDICAL RESEARCH IN AUSTRALIA IS UNDER-ACKNOWLEDGED AMONGST POLITICIANS” The researchers believe that the value of medical research in Australia is under-acknowledged amongst politicians, and the gap in funding left by discarding the co-payment urgently needs to be addressed. Professor Christine Bennett, a contributor to the article and Dean of the School of Medicine at Notre Dame University, believes that funding for the MRFF should come from other areas of government.

Professor Bennett said, “The co-payment got all of the attention rather than the value of research, and I think there’s plenty of scope for other savings from the NDS or other things like sales of Medibank which could be attributed or re-allocated to the fund. Research could make it a high quality, more efficient system and having research embedded into health services also creates the culture of continuing improvement.” The fund will improve workforce participation by ensuring people are healthier so they can continue to work longer, help grow our health systems, our medical technology and biotechnology industries. Elizabeth Foley, the Managing Director of Research Australia, echoes these sentiments: “It is vital that the funding for the MRFF be achieved to prevent us being left behind other nations. Having this fund will help create high value jobs and improve the lives of the disad-

vantaged and chronically ill members to help prevent, manage and control their illness.” Currently the government spends 0.075 per cent of its GDP on medical research, only 64 per cent of the OECD average. The 2013 McKeon Review has proven the best performing health systems have secure and far-reaching medical research programs with sufficient funding. Despite the current concerns in funding, the MRFF is expected to go ahead within the next 2 months.

THE CASE OF THE MISSING OPAL CARD

by Kien Le Board Image: Transport NSW

“Technology, huh? Not at UTS!” Every UTS student has made the above observation at some point during their university degree, and it seems that with the concession Opal Cards, students are once again left wondering whether we’ll actually catch up with our university rivals.

“WE HAVEN’T BEEN TOLD. WE WERE HOPING TO GET THEM FOR SPRING SEMESTER, BUT A DECISION HASN’T BEEN REACHED.” Journalism student Raveena Grover says, “Coming from Perth where the tap on/tap off system was implemented 8 years ago, it is shameful that the Sydney transport system is only catching up now.” Privacy concerns are also very much a factor for students as concession Opal Cards will store personal data. Craig Jansson, B En-

gineering and B Science, says “I don’t agree with Transport NSW’s need to know where I am as they can pretty much track me around Sydney.” Despite this, Opal Card distribution is being planned for the spring semester, with a meeting between NSW Transport and UTS scheduled for later this week. Maria Katsifis, Communications Coordinator of the UTS Student Administration Unit says, “UTS is planning to be part of the second group of universities to enable use of the card and is working with Transport NSW to achieve this by Spring Semester 2015.” The UTS Student Centre gave similar information to inquiries. “We haven’t been told. We were hoping to get them for spring semester, but a decision hasn’t been reached.” The concession Opal Cards were first rolled out to reduce queue times for public transport and simplify the transport process. Isha Bassi, B Journalism, says, “I think it would be a lot more helpful, having one

ticket for everything since I catch the train in conjunction with the bus. It would be much easier to have one ticket to everywhere.” Opal cards for adults, children and seniors were distributed in 2014, whilst Concession cards were only distributed to 7 of the universities in NSW, not including UTS, at the beginning of 2015. Concession Opal Cards remain a pipe dream for UTS students, but this reporter hopes that, much like a delayed train, eventually it will come through.

ISSUE NO. 3

VERTIGO

MAJOR REPORTS

EDUCATION VICE PRESIDENT’S REPORT

by Max Murphy

TREASURER REPORT

by Brigida Jones

G’day Vertigo reader. Huzzah Dereg is down the gurgler! After our campaign here at UTS to have our ViceChancellor, Attila Brungs, publicly denounce Dereg worked a treat with him stating that he was one Vice Chancellor “who is not disappointed that the current legislation to introduce full fee deregulation did not pass the Senate.” Thanks to all who helped out with getting the thousands of petition signatures to help that happen. On the 25th of March, we had our National Day of Action which went really well and it was great to see so many people from so many parts of the community there. We had someone from Bossley Park High School here who took the day off school to march in the demonstration. We had officials from the Maritime Union of Australia here showing their solidarity with students. We had members of staff demonstrating against the attacks against their rights. While the

number of people at the demonstration (300) was a little less than we’d hoped we had a variety of people there all for one reason and it shows how many groups within our community are impacted by attacks to education. And more importantly no Pepper Spray! Held in conjunction with the National Day of Action was the National Day of Learning, an Australian Liberal Students Federation initiative. As far as I’m aware nothing actually happened other than a few predictable Facebook posts from Young Libs using the words/phrases “lefties”, “real students” and “they all have arts degrees”. If anyone wants to come along and get involved in Education Activism at UTS please check out the Education Action Groups Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/ groups/383297531699546/.

The 2015 UTS Students’ Association is now in full swing. Orientation week was one of the most successful orientations in UTS. We managed to accrue more than 1500 memberships to the UTSSA. This is an indictment to the hard work of all members of the UTSSA in preparation of O’week; as such, I am confident to say that our strategy of increasing marketing and excessive branding (of the USB and keep cup in particular) was one of the contributing factors for the remarkable increase in membership. Furthering on my point from the last report, is the assistance and engagement with the Textbook Equity Scheme. This is a scheme that has been establish many faculty specific clubs and societies in UTS that allows a free loan of textbook to students that are financially disadvantaged (i.e. students provide valid proof of financial disadvantage such as a Centrelink statement , Diversity Access Scheme, Pensioners Concession Card or a Low Income health care card). As many of you may know, a $150 textbook that you will use for one paragraph once in your 5th week can put a massive hole in your budget. As such, the UTSSA made a motion to support existing Textbook Equity Schemes in UTS for $750 a semester provided that the organisation running the TES can provide accurate and valid proof that the money goes where it should. The UTS Law Students’ Society and the UTS Business Society were the recipients of

this $750 to buy books for their Textbook Equity Schemes. These are the only two existing Textbook Equity Schemes in the university. I therefore implore all faculty based societies that use textbooks (i.e. engineering, IT, nursing, science etc) to establish a Textbook Equity Scheme for financially disadvantaged students in their faculty as they will also be eligible to the $750 grant each semester. Onto the treasurer specific news, I recently reviewed the 2014 Audit and compared it with budgets in the previous years. This year will incur some strict changes to ensure money is going where it should be to benefit the students of UTS. As can be seen in the final Vertigo of 2013, the UTSSA went over the budget resulting in a deficit of approximately $35, 000. Whereas last year in 2014, the pendulum swung too far in the opposite direction and there was a surplus of approximately $190,000 – unfortunately this money does not roll over to the next term but is absorbed back into the university, and therefore the UTSSA missed a potential opportunity to help the students of UTS . This is due to inadequate budgeting methods. As a result I will work closely with the President of the UTSSA and the UTSSA Budget Committee to ensure that we set detailed budget and UTSSA expenditure adheres to this to minimise surplus and deficit in the 2015 budget. Brigida Johns

In Solidarity, Max Murph

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8TH APRIL

COLLECTIVE REPORTS

POSTGRAD REPORT

WOMEN’S COLLECTIVE

CAPA REPORT

ETHNOCULTURAL COLLECTIVE

by Melanie Wilson postgraduate@utsstudentsassociation.org

by Sarah Mulhearn womens@utsstudentsassociation.org

by Kate Always

by Jennifer Pham

We are well and truly settled into 2015. We are doing well so far. Courses are gaining momentum. Buildings are being built. Friends are mingling over drinks. Assessments are progressing as the year moves on. Talk with your course staff to maximise your potential. Postgraduates can email the Postgraduate Officer for help from a fellow student: postgraduate@utsstudentsassociation.org Revisit your goals for your course. Also, remember your big-picture goals for your future. Are you taking the right steps at UTS for greater career success? UTS is constantly evolving. This community became more active than ever before. Enjoy studying and socialising at the new buildings. A café is being introduced to the new Building 7. Building 11 has a QR code enabled directory. Everything is happening. Speaking of exciting things happening, UTSSA Drinks are continuing on Fridays at the Loft. Watch the Facebook page for events and news. https://www.facebook.com/UTSSAPostgraduateOfficer Remember, the world is your oyster. Carpe Diem. See you at The Loft!

The Womn’s Collective has been very busy this month, hosting UTS’ first Rad Sex and Consent Week, celebrating International Womn’s Day and slugging through the beginning stages of setting up our calendar of events for the year. International Womn’s Day this year was an interesting and mixed affair, as womn rallied together to address the persisting and often terrible injustices that are acted out against us, and the vast majority of the Australian media failed to report on the myriad events with any kind of perspective or sensitivity. In the context of this misrepresentation, it might bear reminding the general public that International Womn’s Day persists as a tradition not in order to celebrate a fallacious achievement of equality, but rather to continue to draw attention to the ongoing systemic disadvantage that all womn face - albeit to varying degrees. Journalist and editor Amy McQuire, in her address at NSW Parliament House, drew attention to both this endemic inequality and it’s fundamental differences for Indigenous womn, who (alongside trans womn, queer womn, working class womn, disabled womn and womn of colour) are often sidelined in mainstream conversations about domestic violence and Feminism more broadly. These kinds of events are incredibly valuable in reminding us of the importance of recognising that experiences of womnhood are not universal, but rather differ greatly depending on the intersections of different kinds of marginalisation, and that it is the responsibility of all of us to ensure that we centre the voices of marginalised womn in our conversations and politics surrounding gender.

The Postgraduate Representative Union has started 2015 with a bang. We had a good presence at both the Kuringgai and the City orientation days, where we gave away 120 tshirts, then we rolled straight into hosting Postgrad officebearers from around the country at the two day conference of the Council of Australian Postgraduate Associations. This was a small but productive meeting, and a great chance for UTS postgrads to find out how our national union works. It was great to see a dozen people I’d never met show up at various times! We have also elected three new Councillors, one of whom has joined me in taking on a national role with CAPA, and we’ve started work on the most important job we have – to figure out how to improve life for postgrads at UTS! If you’re a postgrad at UTS and you aren’t already connected, say hi at utspru@gmail. com, check out utspru.org or join our facebook page. We’re waiting to hear what you’re interested in!

Happy semester 1 folks! Hope you’re all having a blast! This report is brought to you by members of the Ethnocultural Collective, an autonomous space for People of Colour and students who have experienced racism based on their cultural background. So what’s been happening? Earlier in February a few members of the Collective went to the screening of ‘Dear White People’ – a film which addresses the issue of racial identity through the stories of four black students at a college in America. Those who went and opinions of friends have been a little on the disappointed side for multiple reasons, but the film is nonetheless a valuable watch. Also in week 4, some of us attended the launch of the Racism Stops at UTS campaign held in the Tower foyer and emceed by the wonderful Rahaf. This campaign is part of a nationwide government initiative to start a conversation about racism in Australia. While the intentions of this campaign are well meaning, some of us in the Collective are critical of the way it has been structured. That morning, we got to talk to people at the launch and passed out our own resources on white privilege, casual racism and microaggressions. In the coming weeks, the Collective will be holding some cute gatherings and figuring out the process of electing a new officer.

ISSUE NO. 3

VERTIGO

Second Wave Feminism, image: U.S News and World Report

APOLOGIES TO OUR MOTHERS THE TIDE OF FEMINISM TURNS AS THE SECOND WAVE CRASHES

by Sam Howes

As we watch the disgruntled ripples emerge of baby boomers slipping under the surface of 2nd wave feminism and deep into the waters of irrelevancy, what is to become of their heroines? The women who first took up arms against pay inequality, the right to choice, pro-sexuality and a reclaiming of the female body, seem to have been bound to the racist suffragettes and set alight with principal. At the All About Women Festival held on the 8th of March, which billed guests that exemplify past and current schools of feminism, a question rose to the surface: What is it to be a feminist now? As the second wave of feminism breached the shore of this generation, radical and revolutionary ideals of sexuality and choice exploded and settled as core steps in this social movement. We’ve seen more reform in relation to female rights in the last 50 years than could ever be imagined by those first sash bearing

women all those years ago. Would they have been comfortable with the then controversial steps forward we’ve taken now had they lived to see the day? It’s unlikely. Equity and inter-sectionality have torched across the socio-political landscape like a wildfire choking and scorching past schools of feminist thought with inclusive bewilderment. The immediacy of social media and the internet as media have invited all people from all walks of live into the conversation. #yesallwomen. So much has the eruption of this movement grown and changed that we’ve seen the interrogation of the very term ‘feminism’. The All About Women Festival this year was celebrated part of the Sydney Opera House’s ‘ideas at the house program’ and boasted a wide range of female speakers, thinkers and authors from all schools of feminism. Strangely enough, not a single trans-woman was invited to speak. Second

wave feminist author Germaine Greer, highly criticised for her trans-misogynist stance on gender was, however, welcomed back to the conference with open arms. Greer, throughout her career that dates back to the early 70s, with the publication of ‘The Female Eunich’ that many have accredited for the initiation of the second wave has echoed transphobic sentiments again and again. Believing you don’t know what its like to be a woman if you haven’t lived with a vagina.

“WE TOO CRITICISE THE FEMINISTS OF THE PAST FOR THEIR OUTDATED AND NARROW-MINDED EXCLUSIVITY IN RELATION TO WOMANHOOD.” When members of the LGBTIA community called out the media personality, Greer said: ‘I didn’t know transphobia was a thing.

VERTIGO

Arachnophobia, yes. Transphobia no.” Just as the second wave critiqued and built off the first, we too criticise the feminists of the past for their outdated and narrow-minded exclusivity in relation to womanhood. It is today in 2015, widely recognised that sex and gender, are of course independent of one another.

“A FAR MORE IMPORTANT QUESTION IS NOT HOW INCLUDED MEN FELT, BUT HOW WE ARE ACTIVELY INCLUDING ALL WOMEN IN FEMINISM.” Briefly, gender is how a person identifies and is reaffirmed by society’s treatment of them as an individual. Sex is the combination of primary and secondary sex characteristics chromosomes and hormone levels determined at birth. In short; you don’t need to be born female to identify as a woman. Concepts that most second wave feminists have sadly, yet to acknowledge. That’s not to say that progressive speakers were few and far between at this conference. Roxane Gay the celebrated African American author spoke out as a progressive intersectional feminist. Gay’s collection of essay’s, somewhat ironically titled ‘Bad Feminist’ led Time Magazine to declare in 2014 ‘let this be the year of Roxane Gay.’ These two put together might look like, to the bystander, a clashing of old and new ideas. In her conference Gay began by explaining ‘bad feminism’ as: ‘a toxic and exclusive attitude towards feminism’ adding ‘…and it’s unhelpful’. Gay describes feminists as a set of contradictions, and exemplifies it much as any feminist would, denouncing the exclusivity of feminism and then when asked about ProLife feminists explaining that in her opinion they don’t exist. She said: ‘You cannot be a feminist and pro-life, you cannot be a feminist and deny women the right to choose’. The feminist debate is far reaching and the festival did not fall shy of the topical and the eternal, from 50 shades of grey, media literacy, and rape jokes to the old struggles and questions of ‘what is a feminist’, the conference was both hilarious and scathingly honest. Believing that the drive for equality was still the chief objective for feminists. Gay refused to waver on equal rights, citing the ‘anti-feminist’ movement that washed through the media last year as women feeling it was unsafe to identify as feminists, that they don’t ‘want to make life hard for men’. Touching on the base critique all feminists have heard at least one hundred times; I’m not a feminist because I like men. Gay commented: ‘Men try and make everything about them. They feel disenfranchised and I’m supposed to take time as a black woman to care’. A far more important question is not how included men felt, but how we are actively including all women in feminism. This problem was exemplified by the space; the diversity of the audience was little to none. The average demographic ranged between young, mostly white middle class women to older mostly white, middle class women. ‘Look around you’ Gay said ‘Where are the black people? Where are the Asians? The lack of diversity in this room is shocking. What the Fuck?’ It was here that the chief differences between the old and new have distinguished themselves. If we see those white, middle class women as exemplifying the second wave, it is time then that we demand better representation in what follows as the second wave crashes.

8TH APRIL

When Vertigo asked Gay about the underlining tensions between the schools of feminism and the transphobic criticism of second wave feminists she was quick to acknowledge the conflict. ‘It’s a huge problem. We cannot undermine the work that second wave feminists have done and all they have achieved for us but we cannot let that stop us from calling them out on their transphobic attitudes that alienate the trans community. We must grapple with these issues together not deny they exist.’ It is often difficult to move forward through discourses and the history of feminism is a messy one. Many young feminists have taken significant influence from our second wave mothers, grandmothers and aunties and the pro-choice, pro-sex, prowomen at work stance they took has irrevocable altered the world that we live in. The landscape of this movement has evolved since 1975, with a push to protect all women including women of colour, women of low socio-economic background and trans-women. We should be proud of these achievements. We should also acknowledge that the women that fought so hard for these things were similar if not the same as the mostly white, mostly middle class women that attended the All About Women conferences in March this year. So I’m sorry Mum, but we can, and will, do better.

“LOOK AROUND YOU’ GAY SAID ‘WHERE ARE THE BLACK PEOPLE? WHERE ARE THE ASIANS? THE LACK OF DIVERSITY IN THIS ROOM IS SHOCKING. WHAT THE FUCK?” Roxane Gay, image: The Guardian

ISSUE NO. 3

VERTIGO

SPORTS SCG PARTNERSHIP by Alex Blair

UTS has announced that they will partner with the Sydney Cricket Ground to create a ‘Sports Central Campus’ that will commence operations from 2016. The partnership will transition UTS’s Sport and Exercise Science and Management degrees from the closing Kuring-Gai campus in northern Sydney to a new venue at the iconic sports ground in Moore Park. Chairman of the SCG Trust, Tony Shepard, believes that the partnership is a great opportunity for students wishing to pursue a career in a sports-related field- “UTS offers Australia’s leading sports education degrees and Moore Park is undoubtedly Australia’s premier sporting precinct,” he said in a media release last week. “There is no better place to study sport than at Allianz Stadium and the SCG; grounds where so much of Australia’s rich sporting history has been made.” UTS’s involvement at the Sports Central Campus will be heavily research-based, with the undertaking of new studies in the fields of performance analysis, athlete wellness recov-

ery, injury prevention,sports analytics, doping studies and sports biomechanics. For current UTS students, the change from the Kuring-Gai campus to Moore Park is a welcome change, as they will no longer have to make the hour-long commute to university- “I think it’s a great move for UTS and the students involved,” 1st year Sport’s and Exercise Science student, Liam Gough said, “I’m pretty excited about it.” For them, the opportunity to study in close proximity to the professionals of the sporting world is a privileged experience.

event and attendances at the Wellington Sevens last month were well below previous years. Bringing the Sevens to Australia’s traditional rugby heartland may seem to be the answer, but it is far from a formality. The Waratahs have consistently struggled to attract punters to matches. The Super Rugby side averaged a crowd of just over 19,000 last season and even less the year before. Discontentment has been growing amongst the rugby community as the ARU faces crippling financial burden from continually falling revenues. The ARU’s funding of Shute Shield clubs has dropped from $100,000 a year five years ago, to zero in the 2015 season. A proposed player levy, designed to re-fill the ARU’s coffers, threatens to tear the rugby community apart and turn away potential players. Rugby is struggling to hold its place in one of the most saturat-

ed sporting markets in the world. Cricket, AFL, NRL and A-League overshadow rugby in Sydney’s increasingly convoluted and overlapping sporting landscape. The proposed February date for the Sydney Sevens will coincide with the end of a long summer of cricket, the business end of the A-League and the highly anticipated start of the NRL and AFL seasons. The 2013 British and Irish Lions Tour showed that Sydney has an appetite for rugby in the right form. Rugby Seven’s inclusion in next year’s Olympics has the added benefit of attracting the games superstars like Israel Folau and Sonny-Bill Williams, both who have indicated they will make the switch ahead of Rio. A new and fresh tournament has the potential to market all forms of rugby to the masses, not just die-hard fans. Ultimately the success of rugby in Sydney and Australia rests on the performance of the Waratahs and Wallabies. A strong performance in Super Rugby and the Rugby World

“FOR CURRENT UTS STUDENTS, THE CHANGE FROM THE KURINGGAI CAMPUS TO MOORE PARK IS A WELCOME CHANGE,” “I’m hoping to have a career within the elite sporting community, so having the op-

portunity to attend classes within the SCG is amazing”, Sport and Exercise Science student, Hannah Iredale said. The Sports Central Campus will likely help promote UTS’s Elite Athlete Scholarship program, which has assisted current Australian cricketers such as Pat Cummins and Alyssa Healy. The collaboration of SCG Trust and UTS will be a unique partnership within Australia’s university system, which UTS believes to be an important part in attracting overseas students to the university while further providing economic benefits for the city through tourism. The campus will cost an estimated $8.8 million and incorporate state-of-the-art facilities such as an indoor cricket centre, sports museum, a childcare centre and extended Members facilities for current SCG members. Until then, Sports science students will have to continue to venture up to KuringGai; however, the new campus looks to be worth the year’s wait.

SEVEN’S HEAVEN

by Henry Jacobs

Sydney rugby received a major boost on Monday with the Australian Rugby Union’s announcement that Sydney will host the Australian leg of the Sevens World Series for at least the next four years. The Sydney Football Stadium will take over from the Gold Coast after a successful bid from the NSW Government’s tourism agency, Destination NSW. The shortened format of the fifteenman game has gained great popularity in recent years with flagship events in Hong Kong, London and Las Vegas drawing huge crowds and a carnival-like atmosphere. Rugby Sevens will also make its Olympic debut at Rio next year. The NSW Government is hoping the World Series will provide a significant boost to the economy with a large number of travelling and local fans expected. However, in Sydney’s increasingly saturated sporting market it remains unclear whether this event will be a success. In October the Gold Coast attracted a crowd of only 20,000 across the two-day

Cup will do for the game what no slick marketing campaign can. The Sydney Sevens gives the ARU a chance to create something special and unique to offer Sydney’s sporting appetite. If approached correctly it could be just what is needed to turn rugby in the right direction.

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8TH APRIL

HOWLING ADVANCES

A refereeing howler ruins a great game. One false decision and any game could be changed instantly. A team loses and on come the waterworks. To be fair, they have a point. There is no question technology being introduced into sports has helped reduce the number of howlers, and with that, reduced the number of allegedly sore losers. Goalline technology in football, eagle-eye in cricket and base-line technology in tennis are fine examples. But the sporting world hasn’t been so quick to take on technology, and it continues to create sour moments in sport. Here are some pieces of technology that could be introduced in sport to help avoid some classic howlers.

NFL STYLE COACH-CHALLENGES. by Declan Bowring

Image: Pamela Cookey

Any fan of football, whatever your code or shape of your ball, will understand the need for this. In the NFL, a coach has a red flag which he can throw onto the field to challenge a decision made by the match referees. The decision is then taken to the video referees, who then make a final ruling on the on-field’s call. However, the coach only has two available challenges – so he can’t just challenge every single call made on field. Two correct decisions result in a third decision being allowed. This would have proven handy for EPL clubs West Brom and Sunderland, who both have had the wrong player given red cards for their teammates’ fouls. A coach’s challenge system would be most welcome in the NRL, Rugby Union and the AFL. Potentially, it could be set up like tennis’ player challenge system, which allows for challenges allocated by the set, or cricket’s Decision Review System (DRS), which allows for two incorrect challenges and is activated by the captain rather than the coach.

CRICKETS’ DRS ENFORCEMENT ON INDIA Gone are the days of dodgy umpire call in cricket – unless you’re playing India in a test. The Board of Control for Cricket in India, the national cricket association for the subcontinent, refuses to allow the DRS in test matches that involve India. By sheer irony, it was the Indian players who would have benefitted greatly in the last test series against Australia. Indian batsmen were given out for catches off their shoulder, pads, and even helmet. The noises were there, but they weren’t off the bat. All the TV viewers got to see it for themselves. It’s frustrating for teams playing India, and it’s become embarrassing for India. Sure, Hawk-Eye isn’t 100%, but some decisions reviewed in plain sight would be overturned instantly.

GOAL-LINE TECHNOLOGY IN THE A-LEAGUE This is a simple one – the technology tracks whether the ball has actually crossed the line, instead of relying on vision. Sometimes the ball just doesn’t hit the back of the net. An absolute rocket-shot from Brisbane’s Thomas Broich in 2014 against Adelaide was denied – even though the ball had clearly crossed the line. FIFA adopted it, the EPL have adopted it. It’s time to catch up to the real world.

ZING-BAIL TECHNOLOGY FOR THE AFL If the ball touches the post on its way through, then it’s counted as only one point instead of six. Replay technology has fixed errors regarding this mostly, but it would look a lot more convincing if the posts lit up upon contact. Just like the zing-bails and stumps in one-day and T20 cricket, the stump would have lights that would flash if either of the inside posts were struck, or even brushed, by the ball. St Kilda had some bad luck with this in a grand final, when a Geelong goal was allowed when it had gone straight into the post. Five points wasn’t the winning margin in this game, but it could sure be in the future.

MOVING THE GOAL POSTS IN RUGBY This isn’t really any new technology, but it’s certainly something that would improve the safety of the players. Rugby players are running around, dodging tackles and making desperate attempts to score or prevent tries. The last thing they need is to run into a post. What could be done to change this is to have an overhanging goal, similar to those found in the NFL, except hanging over the try scoring zone to where they are currently. This would prevent the goals from being further away than they are currently.

WOMENS SPORT Seriously, there’s no real excuse for why this isn’t happening already. Referees’ poor calls are bad, but this one is just unacceptable. Women’s sport is no less watchable than men’s sport. Women’s sport is a potential money maker for any of the national TV networks and advertisers, not to mention a massive opportunity for job creation (I’m looking at you, government!). Technology may make the games a little slower, but they fix the horrible decisions in sport. The game is changing across all sports and we all know how grievously wrong human error can be. Sporting headlines need to stop being about the referees and the sour grapes from bad decisions and more about the game. Technology can help fix this.

ISSUE NO. 3

POP CULTURE

IN MEMORIAM HARVE BENNETT by Oliver Morassut

TOY STORY 4 UPCOMING PIXAR ROM COM by Stephanie Lim

Remember when you were a child and you hoped that your toys would come to life, but then as you grew up, you realised that it was impossible for inanimate objects to move? The bliss of innocence and childhood was great and so was the whole Toy Story trilogy. Though what is really surprising is that Toy Story 4 is set to hit screens in 2017. Pixar Studio’ president, Jim Morris, says the upcoming Toy Story 4 will be a romantic comedy and not a continuation of Toy Story 3. The director of both Toy Story and Toy Story 2, John Lasseter, will be directing, and with Rashida Jones and Will McCormack will write the script. It is said that the film will focus on the relationships between the toys themselves, instead of the relationship between the toys and the children. Seeing the friendships and relationships between the characters would definitely give us a greater understanding of their bonds, but is it really necessary for Pixar to release another Toy Story film? For all we know, they could be just milking the film franchise for as much as they can. To counter this, Pixar has clarified that they only make sequels to films they are passionate about. Seems like the big guy is trying to make a valid excuse to make more money out of diehard Toy Story fans.

“FOR ALL WE KNOW, THEY WOULD BE JUST MILKING THE FILM FRANCHISE FOR AS MUCH AS THEY CAN. “ Although, rumours have surfaced that the whole gang (Woody, Buzz, Jesse, Mr Potato Head, etc.) are not going to be in the new film, which would be tragic – who wouldn’t want to see their OTP’s (one true pair) love story up on the big screen? For that to become a reality would be every fanfic enthusiast’s dream. To refresh your memory, when Toy Story 3 ended, Andy left for college and gave his toys away to Bonnie, a little girl who lived next door. As heartbreaking it was to see Andy and the whole gang going their own

separate ways, it was nice to see the toys given to a girl who would love and cherish them as much as Andy did. Many thought that Toy Story 4 would be a continuation of Bonnie’s relationship with Andy’s toys as well as her own – Trixie, Buttercup, Mr Pricklepants, etc. But perhaps it would be refreshing to see what Pixar can do with a romantic comedy involving our beloved Toy Story characters. It is only a matter of time until critics decide whether or not the film is worth seeing. In the meantime, we can just indulge in nostalgia where we can imagine what would have happen between Woody and Bo Peep, or wonder if there was any romance between Jesse and Buzz. Let’s just hope that this film won’t be a flop, like Cars 2 or Monster’s University.

The world of Science Fiction has lost another icon. Executive producer of the Star Trek films and the mastermind behind The Wrath of Khan, Harve Bennett, passed away aged 85 due to health complications on February 25 2015. Born August 17 1930, Harve Bennett started his work as a producer for ABC with such shows as Mod Squad. He then moved to Universal Studios to produce shows like The Bionic Woman, and The Invisible Man, before finally heading to Columbia Pictures Television and working on the show A Woman Called Golda. While at Columbia, he was brought to Paramount and was asked whether he could make a better Star Trek film than the first one for less than its $45 million budget. He accepted, and what followed helped make Bennett a legend, his decisions making Wrath of Khan the masterpiece it became. Bennett screened all 79 episodes of Star Trek in order to find the best angle for the story, and from a single episode, picked Ricardo Montalban’s Khan to be the key antagonist and the basis of the entire plot. It was Bennett who convinced a reluctant Leonard Nimoy to return to the role of Spock with the prospect of a dramatically

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emotional death scene, which as a result became one of the most iconic scenes not just in the franchise, but in film history, reviving Nimoy’s interest enough to continue encompassing the role throughout his life. The success of Wrath of Khan led to the further Star Trek sequels, a reboot of the series, as well as an ongoing fandom that still exists strongly today. Like bringing Spock back from the dead in Star Trek III: Search for Spock, Harve Bennett successfully reinvigorated the Star Trek franchise with a renewed energy that the fans loved, and still love today. Wrath of Khan director Nicholas Meyer has said that Bennett “…was a remarkable man and he was unpretentious and selfeffacing. I don’t think there would be a Star Trek franchise without him. He rescued it. He’s endangered of being lost in the shuffle, but he’s the guy who figured it out.” Bennett was a humble man, and never thought himself bigger than he was. On Star Trek, he said; “Trek lovers have called me one of the most important people in science fiction, but I have never thought of myself as a science fiction maven. What I am, and it’s because of the background I just talked about, I write about heroes, because I was born and raised in a heroic time. What I loved about Star Trek when I got the assignment was the very heroic male and female, the ethnicity, all that stuff that was a legacy of the Declaration of Independence, that was my attachment to it.” Though his name is not spread across the front pages of all news papers, Harve Bennett’s legacy and his achievements will live on in the memories of fans across the world, and his impact will remain for all time.

KAN-YE BELIEVE IT?

by Joseph Kilby Image: Ebay

I’m tired, you tired. Jesus wept. It was the lyric that struck a chord with all of us. The line that summed up the emotional chaos every individual experiences when attempting to answer the question: who is Kanye West? Unravelling Kanye has proven to be one of the greatest challenges that humanity is facing in contemporary times. Not since the creation of Level 6 in Building 2 has there been a mystery that has generated a similar degree of frustration and confusion. (On a serious note, finding Level 6 is a legitimately frightening adventure that leaves you second-guessing the working mechanisms of escalators.) I myself have long been grappling with the ordeal that is understanding the almighty creative force known colloquially as ‘Yeezy’, and I am sure many of you reading this have as well. That is why it is critical this information be made public. No longer will we shy away from discussions around Kanye. This is the cure to the raised eyebrows, the muttered WTF’s, and the lack-of-knowledge fuelled

hesitations that are symptomatic of what I have dubbed the ‘Kanye Complex’. Kanye Complex (noun): the moment one has upon seeing something that Kanye West has said or done, and experiencing the tumultuous and conflicting reaction of “Seriously? Who could do that?” and “I really shouldn’t be surprised, by this stage of my relationship with him”. It was discovered that on eBay, an individual (not Kanye himself, surprisingly) was attempting to sell a sealed plastic bag containing air from an undisclosed concert that was part of the Yeezus tour, which took place from late 2013 to early 2014. Where the true incredulity lies with this story is in the ridiculously low price that was being asked for this precious commodity. This physical embodiment of art history. The highest bid, before the product was subsequently removed from the site by eBay, was US $60,100. It is uncertain as to whether any money actually exchanged hands, as the auction was unable to run its full course.

Since then, it is unfortunate to report that a number of knock-off or copycat products have flooded the concert memorabilia market. After carefully inspecting each auction I discovered only one bag that appeared legitimate (which received no bids). This was based on the seller’s description which explained that they once saw it “glow one night in the air” and it was time for someone else to “enjoy it’s cent [sic]”. I urge Kanye fans to remain vigilant when judging the authenticity of these artefacts. Common indicators of illegitimacy can include prices under the going rate of tens of thousands of dollars. Quite frankly, I believe this experience needs to be celebrated and appreciated more by society. We finally have a tangible experience to use as the ultimate description of who Kanye is. When younger generations point to the statues and monuments that will inevitably be built in his honour, or his photos in history textbooks, and ask who this revolutionary force was, we finally have a way to tell them.

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8TH APRIL

REVIEWS FILM INSURGENT Rating: PG Genre: Adventure, Sci-Fi, Thriller Released: 19 March 2015 Director: Robert Schwentke Writers: Brian Duffield, Akiva Goldsman and Mark Bomback Starring: Shailene Woodley, Theo James, Naomi Watts, Jai Courtney and Kate Winslet

by James Wilson Shailene Woodley as Beatrice Prior, Insurgent Image: Lionsgate

Insurgent is the second film of the Divergent trilogy, a series that tries so desperately be the new Hunger Games but doesn’t have the talent, nor the script to pull it off. Insurgent sees our heroes Tris (Woodley) and Four (James) on the run following the destruction of the Abnegation faction at the conclusion of the first film. They skip from faction to faction before finding camaraderie with the ‘Factionless’, led by Evelyn (Watts); a rebellious cabal of those deemed unsavoury by the system, living on the fringe of civilised society - their ultimate goal to overthrow the leader of the Erudite faction, Jeanine (Winslet). Insurgent, like its predecessor, is based

INHERENT VICE Rating: MA 15 Genre: Crime, Drama, Mystery Released: 12 March 2015 Director: Paul Thomas Anderson Writers: Paul Thomas Anderson Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Reese Witherspoon, Owen Wilson, Katherine Waterston and Josh Brolin

by June Murtagh

Things get trippy in Paul Thomas Anderson’s latest feature film Inherent Vice. Based on the novel of the same name by Thomas Pynchon, the film tells the story of Larry “Doc” Sportello (Joaquin Phoenix), a private investigator and textbook hippie. Set in the 1970’s in a world full of sex, drugs, and crime, Inherent Vice is visually engaging in its psychedelic explorations of the issues at hand. The plot meanders between the different cases Doc has to complete in order to solve a

on the Divergent book series by Veronica Roth which details a dystopic world where people are sorted into one of five factions based on personality type, and those who have many personality features, or none that fit type, are outcast. Insurgent is chock-full of impressive, large-scale special effects – a useful feature as it often distracts attention away from the flaws that pervade the film. Straight up, Shailene Woodley cannot act. Her face doesn’t move; if she’s angry, happy, determined or depressed, you wouldn’t know it. It’s only because of what is happening around her, often via special effects or music that you are given

mystery surrounding his ex-girlfriend Shasta (Katherine Waterston), a missing man, and the mysterious “Gold Fang”. While it sounds simple enough, the 149 minute long film can be quite hard to follow at times. With flashbacks, rapid changes in pace, and the introduction of minor characters who never seem to stick around for long, it’s easy to get lost in the fast-paced action that densely fills up the space. That being said, there is a wealth of positives to be found in Inherent Vice. Phoenix gives a stellar performance as Doc, playing perfectly with the subtleties that make up the brilliantly complex character. Waterston is another stand out. Although she only pops up a couple of times throughout the film, she has a delicacy in her performance that’s incredibly striking. Put these two together, and you’ve got a brilliantly dynamic duo. Although the plot is a little confusing, there’s something about all the chaos that ties in nicely with the whole colourful, mindbending aesthetic the film has. With brilliant performances, stunning art direction, and a fascinating premise, this is definitely a film you’ll want to see again. Even if only to try and understand what on earth it’s about.

the requisite clues to determine what her emotional state is intended to be at any given time. One thing she can do is cry – probably because she was forced to watch her own work in between takes. The support cast isn’t much better – Winslet and Watts are on autopilot here, a far cry from their previous work like The Reader and St. Vincent. Theo James does all he needs to in this film to justify his casting – look pretty and get mad. Summit Entertainment, who own the film rights to the novels, have announced they will be making a two-part finale to the final book, Allegiant, a concept that started with Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

and has not been justified by any franchise that has tried it so far – from the dire final Hobbit film, to the dull Mockingjay Part 1, and of course the last two Twilight films – though the first two weren’t much better. Whether or not Allegiant can buck this trend is a question for another day, but based on the first two films of the series, things do not look good. Ultimately, Insurgent leaves you feeling flat and yearning for better teen flicks that have come out recently, such as the Hunger Games series or even the confusing Maze Runner. Realistically, the only revolution Insurgent will cause is the mass-realisation that there are far better movies available.

‘71

to the wise, the accents are sometimes hard to follow. Echoing footsteps and thudding heartbeats resonate in perfect sync with an acoustic and drum soundtrack that is sparingly used. The heightened sense of realism is reinforced throughout the film with tight screen shots and cinematography. You could call the style confined, but that serves to elucidate the situation the main character, finds himself in. In moments of panic, the camera style becomes more chaotic, following the lead in a close, fast pace. Again, when the soldier is near delirium, the scene blurs, whilst the ending lends to blindingly clear landscape shots. Go into this movie with your mind open. Take it as a political war film, or take it as a thriller; either way it trumps features of both genres. Subtle irony is hidden if you’re willing to look for it, and the political intrigue absorbs you completely. However, if you’re not strong in the stomach avoid this film (or at least close your eyes). A realistic film leads to realistic blood. ’71 is worth the 17 bucks you’d spend on seeing it (less on Tuesdays!) Raw, real, and highly engaging. You won’t be finishing your stashed movie snacks!

Rating: MA 15+ Genre: Action, Drama, Thriller Released: 12 March 2015 Director: Paul Thomas Anderson Writers: Paul Thomas Anderson Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Reese Witherspoon, Owen Wilson, Katherine Waterston and Josh Brolin

by Clare Aston

From the start, ’71, pulls you in with a simple black screen. From there, it is complete enthrallment. Set against the political and religious conflict in Ireland in 1971, the film focuses on the story of one abandoned soldier and the outside forces that impact him. The realistic nature of the film will haunt you long after you leave, especially with its historical setting. The soldier, Gary Hook (O’Connell), and he shows the amazing ability to convey character development through sparing lines. The rest of the cast are on par though, word

ISSUE NO. 3

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REVIEWS

MUSIC KINTSUGI Artist: Death Cab for Cutie Genre: Indie Rock Released: 18th Feb 2015

by Katie Kendall

Kintsugi is a Japanese art form wherein broken pottery is remade into new works of art, where the fractures and flaws of the break are not disguised but clearly displayed in the repair. Veteran alternative rock band Death Cab for Cutie’s eighth studio album lives up to its name, as the music and lyrics piece together tales of brokenness in a bold and unapologetic way. There is also, joyfully, no brokenness in the sound of the band itself. Despite the departure of guitarist Chris Walla after seventeen years, their cohesiveness remains one of their greatest strengths. ‘No Room in Frame’ is a clean, simple, and comfortable opener for the album. The track buys heavily into the band’s typical artistry, with melancholy lyrics and subdued rock guitar. This heartbreak-focused track shows the audience what the rest of the album will focus on – heartache, death, and endings. All but one of the first four tracks are almost too reminiscent of Death Cab’s previous work, displaying their habits for humble, honest lyrics, and simple melodies that tell clear, human stories. However, Kintsugi truly diverges from its predecessors at track five and six, ‘You’ve Haunted Me All My Life’ and ‘Hold No

Guns’. These are new ground for the band, with an almost dark, folk-like sensibility to them. ‘Hold No Guns’ shows what an influence lead singer Ben Gibbard’s marriage to fellow musician Zoe Deschannel had on his musical style (their divorce also providing muse to themes of brokenness scattered through the album). These songs have grit and power, but in a quiet and still unreserved sense that is not reminiscent of the subdued, twangy way the band has put together acoustics of the past like Plans’ ‘IWill Follow You Into The Dark’ and Transatlanticism’s ‘A Lack of Colour’. The latter half the album falls back upon the common thread of Death Cab For Cutie’s music, such as track seven, ‘Everything’s a Ceiling’, which is beautiful, but could be easily slotted into more than one of the band’s past albums. That being said, the growth of the band consistently underpins their music and experimentation in synths, and closer precision with percussion show a new, more refined direction for the band’s traditional, lyrics driven style. Overall, ‘Black Sun’, the albums lead single, is the masterpiece of this collection of remastered broken experiences. Robust but still polished, ‘Black Sun’ takes the experience of loss to a gritty, honest place with lyrics such as “there’s a dumpster in the driveway of all the plans that came undone”. The simple hook “how could something so fair, be so cruel, when this black sun revolved around you” shows that Gibbard’s careful hold on lyrical skill has not faded over time. While Kintsugi does not quite exemplify a breaking down of the band’s old habits and a remastering into something entirely new, the way that it lyrically and musically reimagines the broken parts of song writer Ben Gibbard’s life is an ever masterful experiment in the expression of the most raw and realistic human emotions that long-term fans of this band will struggle to fault.

GOON Artist: Tobias Jesso Jr. Genre: Indie Rock Released: 18th Feb 2015

by June Murtagh

Sweet and soulful sounds are plentiful in Canadian singer-songwriter Tobias Jesso Jr.’s debut solo album, Goon. The 29-yearold musician has built up a wealth of experience over the years, playing as a bassist in Vancouver band The Sessions and working in a backup band for teen singer Melissa Cavatti. However, Goon presents itself as the first chance Jesso has gotten to showcase his individual talents, and he does just that – providing a bit of piano, guitar, vocals, and some killer melodies and lyrics in this simply sweet album. The first track off the bat is “Can’t Stop Thinking About You”, a song that hits with the honesty and sweet simplicity of a midsixties Beatles track. In fact, the vast majority of Jesso’s album resonates with late sixties/early seventies vibes, coming from his melodic choices, vocal quality, and lyrical simplicity. There’s something about this album that gives off a very “boy next door” charm. The tracks are simple, honest, and somewhat friendly. There’s nothing too flashy going on, and the album certainly isn’t a game changer for contemporary music, but it’s real, and it’s comfortable. Songs such as “How Could You Babe” and “Can We Still

may not be exaggerated). Now you have to figure out for yourself which sushi is best for your sushi needs. I decided to do all the work for you and basically try out 5 sushi places around campus listing their prices for a chicken roll and giving them a personal

FOOD SUE ME FOR MY SUSHI

“DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU FIRST WALKED INTO UTS AND YOU WERE STARVING AND HANKERING FOR SOME GOOD SUSHI LOVIN?” by Mon Rafoo

Do you remember when you first walked into UTS and you were starving and hankering for some good sushi lovin? THEN BAM! No, you didn’t get hit by a bus, but you discovered there are a million sushi places around campus (this figure may or

rating out of 5 (you’re welcome). So basically I did the research during a 2 hour break and can I just add, it genuinely gave me a new found appreciation for 2 hour breaks. After conducting this research I went from being a Sushihub enthusiast to now being a certified member of the Sushizilla express train (still waiting for my personalised jacket). I recommend getting your rolls and rolling around

Be Friends” give off a bit of an “I just recorded this in my bedroom” feel, making it evident that the album is far from polished by world standards. But in an era where our radios are filled with over-produced and painfully auto-tuned tracks, there’s something quite refreshing about Jesso’s sound. The heartfelt simplicity of Goon is further justified when the backstory to Jesso’s music is made clear. In August 2013, Jesso’s first solo demo was released following a painful break-up and his mother’s diagnosis with cancer. His tumultuous experiences are evident in the lyrics and musical style of the album, which gained momentum and attention from the likes of Adele and Alana Haim. Overall, the Goon is a very consistent album. Heartfelt piano ballads such as “Hollywood”, “The Wait” and “Without You” meander between simple, lyrical piano sections, and layered and highly emotional peaks. Unfortunately, it takes a while for the album to gain any sort of momentum. The fifth track, “The Wait”, brightens the melancholy mood with its summery and hopeful guitar and sweetly childish lyrics, and it could easily be used as the soundtrack to a sickeningly adorable montage in a low-budget indie film. Seven tracks in, “For You” picks up the pace, though a little late into the album. With optimistic lyrics and a good drum track to pick up the pace, it finally feels like the album is getting somewhere. Ultimately, Goon is an impressive and well-written album. It’s full of moody and melancholy sounds that provide an eerily perfect backdrop to chilling out on a cold winter’s day while the rain hits the window. It’s definitely not an album that you’d blast through the speakers or tie any sort of ecstatic memories to, but it’s very atmospheric and, honestly, it’s difficult to find a song or lyric that isn’t painfully relatable.

in the large grass area, kindly provided by central mall to UTS students, with your uni mates. P.S. guys they aren’t stingy with their soy sauce, so go nuts! (Don’t use my name if you get caught out taking an unnecessary amount). I would also like to add that I’m not being sponsored by Sushizilla. #inmonwetrust At the Woolies across from UTS it’s $2.70 per roll, and there are Quinoa options. 3/5 At Sushizilla, it’s $2.90 per roll, 2 for $4.90 and a free can of soft drink for every $7 purchase. 4/5 Harbour Sushi, it’s $3 per roll, 2 for $5, and there are brown and purple options for $3.50. 3.5/5 Sushi Roll (UTS underground), it’s $2.80 per roll, and it’s conveniently located in the tower building. 3.5/5 Sushi Hub, it’s $2.70, and because it’s always busy they are constantly making fresh rolls. 3.5/5

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FILM CHAPPIE Rating: R Genre: Action/Adventure Released: 12th Mar 2015 Director: Neill Blomkamp Writers: Neill Blomkamp, Terri Tatchell Starring: Sharlto Copley, Dev Patel, Hugh Jackman

by Samuel Elliott

8TH APRIL

The subject of A.I. and robots transcending their robot confines to attain the virtue of humanity is not ground-breaking material. Contrived and cliché, it’s an overly worn, often lacklustre path that usually evokes moviegoers’ yawns and slouches of supreme boredom. Director Neill Blomkamp isn’t a stranger to such a tale - several of his first forays into short-film making were based upon similar ideas, Tetra Vaal (2004) being the first of such. You couldn’t be blamed for mistaking it as a prolonged promo for Chappie; the similarities, including the very design of the robot, are staggering. So could Chappie be considered Blomkamp’s vanity piece? Something that he was tinkering with long before the smash-hit success of District 9? If so, has he realised his vision and fulfilled expectations left by ravenous fanboys like me? He has my good reader, he has, deftly so — release that fetid bated breath you’ve been holding. Before we go any further, let me offer a bit of my mentality when I first went into Chappie, summed up in a handful of mangled words: ‘Die Antwoord. District 9 was epic. Die Antwoord. I’ll forgive him for Elysium. Die Antwoord.’ End inner-monologue quote. Ah yes, Die Antwoord, the main drawing star-power/quality; I hope their involvement will translate into box office cash for Blomkamp, which hopefully will mean a higher level of trust (and budget) for Blomkamp’s upcoming Aliens sequel. Ninja and Yolandi are hilarious, unrepentant and incorrigible gangsters, soon selfappointed the grossly-unqualified matriarch and patriarch figures of the newly-activated Chappie. Beyond the mere novelty of having Die Antwoord starring, this is the first aspect the film does right – taking an overly-used storyline (Creation of an A.I.) and making it totally original. Rather than being raised and carefully nurtured within strictly-regulated conditions in a laboratory, surrounded by learned visionaries devoted to creating the best new life form possible, Chappie is educated within a crumbling graffiti-covered abandoned warehouse, by a pair of gangsters. Chappie’s is not utterly bereft of a good, fatherly figure (see Father Geppetto) though - this character is found in Deon Wilson, Chappie’s actual maker, (Slumdog Millionaire) played by Dev Patel. Much of the dangerously impressionable robot’s education falls on the bony, heavilytattooed shoulders of Ninja and Youlandi. Ninja in particular, takes extreme (some might rightly say downright cruel) steps to ensuring Chappie follows in his less-thangallant image, in order to make him “the illest motherf#$king robot around”. The ink-covered, chain-smoking Ninja, who storms around, permanently hefting some weapon and a thousand-yard stare, is a frequent source of the film’s hilarity, I can only

Image: Media Rights Capital

hope intentionally so. Still, the characters are not what define Chappie - actually they are also mostly to the films detriment. Blomkamp is willing to forego character development to focus on the wider picture and this lack of character development becomes especially glaring with Sigourney Weaver and Hugh Jackman’s characters. Sigourney Weaver has had a bad run of late, she hardly had a speaking part in Exodus: Gods and Kings, and in Chappie as Michelle Bradley, CEO of Tetra Vaal, she barely serves as anything more than exposition and a feeble plot furthering device. Though it was Jackman’s character I took issue with. Jackman’s a likeable dude (are you going to be “that guy” that speaks ill of him simply to separate yourself from the adoring, shimmering-eyed masses?) though the range of his acting is not tested in Chappie. Like Die Antwoord, he more or less plays a [hardly] fictional version of himself - at least from the larrikin, affable and self-effacing Hollywood star in candid interviews. Draw whatever conclusions you want from Jackman’s ‘performance’, I guess he’s Australian because Jackman isn’t really putting on an accent, and I guess he has a well-thumbed gym membership - aside from that, it gets sketchy. Again, Jackman’s Moore has no screen-time to be fleshed out, as Blomkamp opts to instead continue with the momentum of the story, namely Chappie’s plight with his gangster ‘parents’ and Deon’s efforts to enlighten him and shelter the robot from harm. Patel’s Deon, it must be said, is the standout performance from the human cast, playing the driven, eccentric (not mad?) scientist convincingly and endearingly. You resonate with his fatherly unconditional love for Chappie, and share in his horror at Chappie’s bad qualities as passed on mostly by Ninja. The underdevelopment of several of the key characters is my only real criticism with the film — I certainly cannot find fault with

Chappie’s development. Blomkamp is acutely aware of how potentially dense and dull instructing a new life form (such as Chappie) on the crash-course in life can be, so he cleverly keeps it brief and mostly to either comedic (Ninja’s “Daddy” lessons) or poignant (the consequences of said “Daddy” lessons/misadventures). As I’ve outlined, there’s no shortness of humour within Chappie’s development, and there is a generous smattering of action/ tension scenes as they organically occur, without being gratuitous or tacked-on. Blomkamp punctuates the tale with necessary action though ultimately never loses sight of his main goal - Chappie’s journey along with those involved for good or ill, whether morally pure (Deon) or bankrupt (Ninja and to a lesser extent, Yolandi). Definitely worth a watch and a visit to the local cinematorium - if you find that you’ve acquired a taste for the plight of Chappie, it will come as joyous news that Blomkamp has plans for two more instalments, making a trilogy. Chappie will grow on you, with his expressive electronic eyes and charmingly clipped South African accent, complete with swearing capabilities. May he be around for a few more films to come!

ISSUE NO. 3

VERTIGO

REVIEWS

FILM CITIZEN KANE Rating: Approved Genre: Drama/Mystery Released: 4th Sep 1941 Director: Orson Welles Writers: Herman J. Mankiewicz, Orson Welles Starring: Orson Welles, Joseph Cotten, Dorothy Comingore

by Oliver Morassut Image: Mercury Productions

Upon hearing about what is known as “the greatest Picture of all time”, I had very high standards for Citizen Kane. Knowing how much of a following it has and how thoroughly it has been reviewed, I ask myself, “How do I tackle ‘the greatest film ever made?’” Citizen Kane was produced, co-written, and directed by Orson Welles in 1941, when Welles was only 25 years of age. Orson Welles also stars in the film, playing the title role of Charles Foster Kane. The story follows on from Kane’s recent death, as a news reporter struggles to uncover the meaning of his famous and mysterious last word, “Rosebud”. With the main part of the story of Kane’s life told in a non-linear fashion through interviews, we gain insight into the life and development of the newspaper magnate, and discover the secret of what “Rosebud” is. Orson Welles takes on the difficult task of having to portray Kane from when he’s 25 until his death, all with Welles being 25 himself. I believe he pulls it off well. His portrayal of Kane in his 20s as a rebellious, idealistic youth, with goals of honesty in his company and a desire to distance himself from the ideals of the wealthy man who raised him, is honest and entertaining. We really root for his character, hoping that he succeeds. As he grows in years, we see how Welles is able to act with a greater dignity and maturity that the character would at that age. With the aid of clever makeup, this makes us as an audience believe we are seeing Kane grow old in front of our eyes. Welles is enjoyable to watch. He is fun and relaxed when he needs to be, allowing the audience to endear themselves to him, then he switches dramatically to a strong, commanding presence that dominates the entire screen. In terms of the other performances in the film, they are all engaging. Dorothy Comingore as Susan Alexander, Kane’s isolated

second wife who is the direct face of Kane’s obsession with control, is terrific. Joseph Cotten is wonderful as Jedediah Leland, Kane’s childhood friend who becomes disenfranchised with Kane’s image and comes to see how corrupt his friend has become. All the performances are good, but in reality, it’s Welles’ that is the centre of attention – not just due to him being the main character, but also due to his presence on screen. It is a shame that a lot of the cast do seem to be mere filler and are not that memorable, and this is the main flaw of the piece. Thankfully, the film focuses on many of the other characters, so there isn’t that much to worry about. It is also interesting to note that the film has a rather big plot hole right at the beginning, which questions the whole motivation of the film. I won’t give it away, but rather I’ll allow people to see if they notice it. The major factor that really does make this film great is the visuals. The techniques used were revolutionary for the time, such the “deep focus” technique that enables both the foreground and background to be in focus, allowing for brilliantly composed images. The shots used are incredible and dynamic, with great use of shadows. Such images are rich with meaning and are incredibly creative. Even with these terrific scenes there are some that do appear dated, and when compared to some of the more dynamic and visually engaging shots, they are forgettable, and get dull. With the films 113 minute running time, the story can get slow at times. I wouldn’t call that a flaw in itself, but if you’re not concentrating, a part of the film can go by and you might miss something. The music is brilliantly composed by Bernard Herman, who has worked on other films such as The Man Who Knew Too Much and Psycho. The score is dynamic and mysterious, often reflecting the moods and changes of Kane, adding a fantastic depth to the intrigue that is being witnessed.

So is Kane “the greatest picture of all time”? It is clearly a timeless classic that has had a withstanding popularity, decades after its release. It is an interesting and engaging film with outstanding visuals to compliment an intriguing character study. Its execution is skilled and terrific, especially taking into account Welles’ young age at the time. Though it is hugely creative and enjoyable, it does have its flaws, like all movies. Citizen Kane is an acquired taste, which some people may not enjoy when first watching it. It is a clear example of style over substance, so much so that some could even say the style outweighs the substance. Does this impact the film in a negative way? It depends on the viewer, as some may enjoy the radical stylisation of the film, while others would rather more substance than what they are given. I encourage people to watch it and make their own verdict as to whether this film deserves the title of “the greatest film ever made”.

VERTIGO VERTIGO

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REVIEWS HOROSCOPES

FILM CITIZEN KANE Rating: Approved Genre: Drama/Mystery Released: 4th Sep 1941

22 VERTIGO VERTIGO

ISSUENO. NO.3 3 ISSUE

SEX COLUMN

CANCER

SAGITTARIUS

Envy is not a beautiful emotion, Cancer, so try your hardest not to turn green every time someone outsmarts you. Maybe it’s time to let a little of that competitive instinct go, and see what you can learn from others instead.

As the leaves turn brown, embrace your instinct for adventure and get out into nature. But be careful not to neglect your responsibilities, the world will still be waiting when you finish that assessment.

LEO

CAPRICORN

The cold winter might turn your bold heart blue this month. Remember, sometimes your pride has Director: Orson Welles a place, Leo. Vulnerability is not regrettable, Writers: Herman J. Mankiewicz, Orson and strength in the face of sadness will help Welles you heal. Starring: Orson Welles, Joseph Cotten, Dorothy Comingore VIRGO ARIES

You’ve been feeling a little tarnished lately, Capricorn, but if you search inside, you’ll find a bit of self-love is all you need. Treat yourself, and keep pushing through, you’ll feel bold as brass again soon.

As assessment season heats up, your instincts for perfection and efficiency are at war with each other and you’re constantly caught in the middle. Take some time out from work, lie beneath an indigo sky and remember success isn’t everything.

Sometimes second best is the best you can hope for, and there’s no need to run and hide when you start to feel like you are making mistakes this month. Silver is just as valuable as gold, if you worked just as hard to get it.

Upon hearing about what is known as LIBRA

second We wifeknow who isyou the like direct of Kane’s to face go for gold obsession with control, is terrific. – but don’t let a fear of not Joseph being Cotten perfect is wonderful Jedediah stop youas from startingLeland, someKane’s childhood friend who becomes thing in the first place this month, in work disor with and slow, comes inenfranchised love. The road toKane’s rewardimage is a long, to see how corrupt has become. one. Start early, it willhis be friend worth it. All the performances are good, but in reality, it’s Welles’ that is the centre of attention – not just due to him being the main character, but also due to his presence on screen. It is a shame that a lot of the cast do seem to be mere filler and are not that memorable, and this is the main flaw of the piece. Thankfully, the film focuses on many of the other characters, so there isn’t that much to worry about. It is also interesting to note that the film has a rather bigAunt, plot hole right at the beginning, Dear Agony which questions the whole who motivation the My high-school boyfriend I love of very film. I won’t give it away, but rather I’ll allow much went to a different uni, and now I’m peoplewe’ll to see if they notice it. scared grow apart? The major factor that really Sincerely, Heart Breaking Apartdoes make this film great is the visuals. The techniques usedHeart were Tart revolutionary for the time, such Dear Fart Breaking Apart, the “deep focus” technique that I have overseen some of those ‘specialenables mesboth that the you foreground background sages’ and yourand beloved share, andto be in like focus, allowing brilliantly comwould to provide youfor with some insight. posed images. The shots used are incredible Last Thursday night, at 11:32pm when he andyou dynamic, with great“Iuse of you shadows. sent a message reading wish were Such images are rich with meaning andthe are here”, the final letter was a mistake, but incredibly creative. dick pics he sent to your sister 4 minutes withI these scenes there are later,Even weren’t. wouldterrific say sorry, but we both some that do appear dated, and when comknow I’m not. pared to some of the more dynamic and visuSinfully, Titivillus ally engaging shots, they are forgettable, and get dull. With the films 113 minute running Dear Agony Aunt, time, the story can at times. Do you know where myget left slow sock has gone? I wouldn’t call that a flaw in itself, but if you’re Cheers, Sockless not concentrating, a part of the film can go by and you might miss something. Dear Hot-mess, The is brilliantly composed by Once youmusic transition to my home in the 8th Bernard Herman, who has worked on other circle of damnation, you will be too disfilms such as Theabout Man Who Too Much tracted to worry yourKnew wardrobe disand Psycho. The score is dynamic and aster, as I will be busy peeling the skin mystefrom rious, often reflecting andbe changes your body like a grape,the andmoods you will busy of Kane, adding a fantastic depth to the inscreaming. trigue thatTitivillus is being witnessed. Sinfully,

You’ll be seeing red this month, so be careful not to take out your frustrations on those closest to you. When all the candles are blown out, you don’t want to find yourself wishing you were Oliver Morassut this birthday. a by little less demanding

TAURUS As a recent fiery argument cools to orange embers, remember moving forward and letting go are not the same thing. Learning this difference takes time, but you can do it.

GEMINI Take the yellow lights showing up in your life as a chance to slow down. Risky decision making could lead to regret if you blindly follow your gut, and exercising caution could help you find some much needed answers.

AGONY AUNT

“the greatest Picture of all time”,means I had the very Supporting your friends high standards for Citizen Kane. Knowing world to you, Libra, but letting how much of aget following it has and is how yourself hurt to help others a thoroughly it has been reviewed, I ask purple heart you don’t need to give yourself. myself, dolook I tackle film Take some“How time to after ‘the yourgreatest own health ever made?’” this month. Citizen Kane was produced, co-written, and directed by Orson Welles in 1941, SCORPIO when Welles was only years age. Not everything is as25 black andof white Orson Welles also stars in the film, playing as you want to be, Scorpio. Trying the titletorole of Charles Kane.will The see both sides in Foster an argument story follows on from Kane’s recent death, help you through a tricky spot this month. as a news reporter struggles to uncover the meaning of his famous and mysterious last word, “Rosebud”. With the main part of the story of Kane’s life told in a non-linear After discovering several mistakes in their fashion through interviews, we gain insight first issues, the Vertigo editors learned that into precious the life and development of the newspatheir Macs had become possessed perTitivillus; magnate,patron and discover of and what by demonthe of secret writers “Rosebud” is. printers – and the one responsible for all Orson Welles takes the difficult for task typographical errors. Ason comeuppance of having to portray Kane from when he’s his deeds, he has been boundusing powerful 25 until his death, all with Welles being 25 enchantments (namely raven’s tears, falafel, himself. I believe he pulls it off well. His and Himalayan pink salt ) and sentenced to portrayal Kane his 20s asofauniversity rebellious, slow tortureofvia the in ponderings idealistic youth, with goals of honesty in his students. company and a desire to distance himself from the ideals of the wealthy man who raised him,Aunt, is honest and entertaining. We Dear Agony really root for his because character, hoping that I can’t have sex sober I end up crying he succeeds. if I’m not drunk. How do I overcome this? As he grows in years, Thanks, Whiskey Dick we see how Welles is able to act with a greater dignity and maturity that theDickhead, character would at that age. Dear Whiskey With the aid of clever makeup, consumed this makes While I’m sure you’re irreversibly us as an audience believe we are seeing Kane by your current predicament, I think, as a grow old in front of our eyes. Welles is enjoyservant of the underworld, it is important to ablethings to watch. is fun and Imagine, relaxed when put into He perspective. for ahe needs to be, allowing the audience to endear moment, your eyes boiling in their sockets, themselves to him, then he switches dramatiand your skeleton blackened as charcoal cally to a strong, commanding presence that before eventually disintegrating into a small dominates the entire screen. pile of ash. Ah, yes. Glorious, isn’t it? Now. In terms of the other performances in the Where were we? film, they are all engaging. Dorothy CominSinfully, Titivillus gore as Susan Alexander, Kane’s isolated

AQUARIUS

PISCES

BACKSEAT BANDITS by Carmen Roath For those of us fortunate enough to have a car (or a sugar daddy), car sex can be a frisky and refreshing change from the comfortable monotony of a bed, a lounge, or a table in your parent’s backyard. After all, who doesn’t love being a spectacle for random strangers - or even better, the police - when you’re half-naked and doing the two-person mosh pit? Now, don’t get me wrong, car sex can be fun. Once upon a year ago, I had a brief but passionate fling with a rugby player from Sydney’s northern suburbs, and there was a seaside lookout which he seemed awfully fond of, although it isn’t unreasonable to think he visited there often, with other girls. The view, though, was stunning. Oh yeah, there was also some ocean, or cliffs, or whatever. This was also the kind of place where you could bring your car, and did that boy have some serious heat under his hood. So after admiring the horizon and his jawline for an appropriate amount of time, we decided to graciously begin fucking on the hood of the car, and I suppose for 20 year old me, it was a glamorous moment; satisfying my most carnal desires with something of a minor celebrity. He seemed to like it pretty rough, until he noticed one of my rings had scratched the bonnet of his car. And from his reaction... if I had any external genitalia, it would've gone softer than a 30c cone from McDonald's, and I didn't even get to finish, but are we really surprised? After, there was this other boy, named Daniel, who I had naively believed would Image: Mercury Productions redeem my interest in having sex in vehiSo is Kane “the greatest picture of all cles. Yet, all I did was come… to my senses. time”? It is clearly a timeless classic that First things first, we were in a Toyota. has A had a withstanding popularity, decades Try after TOYOTA. Boy + Toyota = Boyota. its release. is an interesting engaging and imagineIt doing somethingand erotic in a film with outstanding visuals to compliment Toyota, and you’ll probably just get bored an intriguing Its execufrom the mental character duress andstudy. think about the tion is skilled and terrific, especially taking one time your best friend from high school into for account age boyfriend, at the time. cried threeWelles’ hours young about her Though it is hugely creative and enjoyable, before she tried to steal your boyfriend, andit doesstopped have itsspeaking flaws, like all movies. Citizen then to you. Now, I’m not Kane is an acquired taste, which some people one for tangents, but she uses prescriptionmay notdeodorant enjoy when firstsowatching It is strength now, who’s theit.real a clear example of style over substance, so winner here? much so that some could even say the style Back to Boyota. Do you want to know outweighs substance. Does this impact what’s more the uncomfortable than having sex the film in a negative way? It depends the in a Toyota? The gear stick in your assonthe viewer, as some may enjoy the radical stylientire time. And you know what’s worse than sation of the film, while othersinwould rather that? When the piece of metal your backmore substance than what they are given. side is giving you more pleasure than the boy I encourage people And to watch it and make inside you. SIGH. I’m sure most of their the own verdict as to whether this film deserves girls before me have told him that size doesn’t the titlebut of if “the greatest made”. matter, that’s true, film thenever where are all the 3 inch dildos? I’m not interested in giving anyone the 411 on my experience with dildos (that’s a whole other ‘toy story’ with a different kind of buzz ‘n’ woody), but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t unimpressed with the lack of effort some people go to, simply because they think their material possessions will do the rest of the heavy lifting. This doesn’t apply specifically to sex, but for the sake of my beloved column, we’ll pretend like it does. I mean, sure, it’s always better to cry in a Ferrari, but happiness isn’t the only thing money can’t buy you. Here’s a short list, just in case you’ve blanked: your parents’ affection, a personality, my time, more money, North America. The list really does go on, but we’ll stop it there for everyone’s sake. These days we know the price of everything, and the value of nothing, and perhaps it’s time we started looking less at the price of our cars, and more at who’s driving them. Alternatively, we could just have a grope to make sure they’re packing as much horsepower as their engine suggests.

ISSUE NO. 1

18TH FEBRUARY University of Technology Sydney Student Publication

CACKLING ZUCKERBERG PROCLAIMS “INTERNET.ORG IS NOT AN EVIL SCHEME”. by Lois Lane

Facebook founder and CEO, Mark Zuckerberg has addressed the accusations that his company is evil, releasing a video denying the claims from within his volcanic lair. Facebook, and Zuckerberg himself, have frequently been tied to supervillianous activity by social media commentators and the UN, and these claims have only intensified following their recent Internet.org campaign. Although Zuckerberg insists the initiative is about sharing “the most important technological advancement of the last hundred years” with as many people as possible, many have noted that the Internet.org program seems to involve an unjustifiably large number of nuclear warheads. Zuckerberg has gone on the record about similar issues in the past. In March 2010 he

told a press conference that to “suggest Facebook is spiking the water supply of third world countries with an experimental drug is absurd” before an aide reminded him the question was about the company’s stock options. The company has also had to justify selling the private information of users to advertising companies, as well as using the information to educate kill-bots on the merits of psychological warfare. Zuckerberg, who founded Facebook while studying at Harvard University, currently lives in Silicon Valley, but also owns property in New York, France and the dark side of the moon. He is described as a ‘fun guy’ by those who knew him in his younger days, although it is now believed they were actually saying

‘fungi’, in an attempt to warn us of Zuckerberg’s experimentation with consciousnessaltering spores.

“MANY HAVE NOTED THAT THE INTERNET.ORG PROGRAM SEEMS TO INVOLVE AN UNJUSTIFIABLY LARGE NUMBER OF NUCLEAR WARHEADS.” Zuckerberg addressed journalists’ concerns about the Internet.org program during a press conference about his recent kidnapping of Barack Obama’s daughters and the destruction of Mt Everest. Whilst stroking the trigger for his weather controlling doomsday device, Zuckerberg quelled report-

ers’ fears that spreading the reach of the internet had anything to do with transmitting behaviour modifying signals into the brains of the entire human population. Instead, the Facebook CEO appealed to the public’s sense ofglobal responsibility and humanitarian desires. “The World Wide Web deserves to be more than just a name,” Zuckerberg told those journalists brave enough to challenge him, “It deserves to be a reality. I deserves to be World Wide. And sure, whenever you have a Web, there is going to be a spider lurking in the centre of it, slowly pulling threads together before anyone even knows they’re caught. But what are people going to do? Return to MySpace?

GEORGE R.R. MARTIN CONFIRMS NED STARK IS LUKE SKYWALKER’S FATHER by Chips McCreagh

Fans of Game of Thrones were treated to a feast of new information today, as George R.R. Martin offered comment on several long-standing fan theories about his work. As a new season of the critically and commercially successful HBO series goes to air, Martin rewarded longtime fans of the series by confirming that...

---- SPOILERS BELOW ---Winterfell’s very own Ned Stark is the father of Jedi Knight, Luke Skywalker. Martin stated, “As many devoted fans are aware, following the fall of the Mad King, Ned spent many years serving as a companion to The Doctor, the sole survivor of the planet Gallifrey, aboard the TARDIS. It was during this period that Ned was exposed to a temporal fluctuation that caused him to split into an alternative personality on the planet Tatooine, who would adopt the name ‘Skywalker’.”

The online community’s response to the announcement has been mixed, with many praising devoted, forum-dwelling fans for successfully interpreting the true meaning of the several plot holes in the books. As WestrosFan6942 stated on Twitter “I always knew [George R.R. Martin] was too profound for confusing sections of character’s backstory to be a mistake. I always knew midiclorians and time travel must be involved.” But other commenters were less than impressed, with some suggesting the announcement has more to do with Disney’s purchase of the Game of Thrones franchise, and the subsequent announcement that Tyrion Lannister will be featured in the post-credit scene of The Avengers: Age of Ultron. NeedlesslySexual69118 tweeted his opinion that “Disney is clearly just interested in bringing everything under their banner,without caring about the story they’re telling.” He goes on to cite the most recently released trailer for

Jurassic Park in which Harry Potter battles the armies of Mordor. Martin, however, states that this combining of franchises was always a part of his vision for the story, confirming in the same interview that Tyrion Lannister is both a member of the Green Lantern Corps andthe last son of Krypton, as many fans have theorised. Martin concluded the press conference by telling fans that ‘anyone who says their favourite character is Dany doesn’t understand my work. She has f*cking dragons and can’t conquer a god-damn city. She’s meant to be a joke. She’s also a gremlin, which is why you never see her being fed after midnight.”

ISSUE NO. 3

8TH APRIL University of Technology Sydney Student Publication

FOLEY IS “GETTING DOWN TO BUSINESS” - FOLEY by John O’Rourke

Newly elected Premier Luke Foley has pledged that his new government will immediately get “down to [the] business of running NSW”, following their unprecedented smashing of the Liberal/National Coalition at the recent State Election. The surprise two-party result of 55-45 to the ALP caught everyone currently alive in NSW by surprise, though the 40,000 properly enrolled residents of Rookwood Cemetery no doubt saw it coming. Following his win, Foley announced “It’s time to bring New South Wales back to where it belongs – a haven for corruption, a woeful economy and a do-nothing, spendnothing attitude to infrastructure.” Despite this, Foley and his Labor team have pledged to build a heavy rail link in the west-

ern suburbs of Sydney, connecting the outlying suburbs of Liverpool, Blacktown and Campbelltown with pre-existing routes.

“WE LOOK FORWARD TO NOT PRIVATISING ANYTHING OVER THE NEXT FOUR YEARS OF GOOD GOVERNMENT,” He has also announced plans to build a heavy rail line in the Northern Beaches, connected via a 4 track tunnel underneath Sydney Harbour and extending it along the coast to Newcastle, the new route taking at least an hour off the current journey and providing infrastructure for a Brisbane-

Melbourne fast-train link, which he has announced $1 billion for over 4 years. New Transport minister Tony Kelly has announced Labor will be building Sydney’s 2nd airport, without the use of a public-private partnership, and will also buyback the rail line on the current Airport line, making travel cheaper for tens of thousands of commuters. New Opposition Leader Dominic Perrotet dismisses these promises. “They’ve already broken their promise to the electorate. They said they’d build nothing, and look at what they’re doing - a spending spree. Typical Labor. They don’t know how to create a surplus, they just spend, spend, spend.

Like when Michael Egan was Treasurer. It’s history repeating.” Foley remains undeterred by these criticisms. “We look forward to not privatising anything over the next four years of good government, and we will scrap the WestConnex project in favour of sensible, well thought out public planning, with the aim of removing cars from our roads, rather than creating incentive for people to drive more. We will work with the minor parties, and the Coalition, to create a government that is multi-partisan, that seeks not just the best for our great state, but for all of its residents, be they human or animal, alive or dead. This is a promise the ALP makes to all of you today.”

The NSW Greens have existed in their current form since 1991, and while we’ve never been able to achieve anywhere near the popular support or sensible policy of either of the two main parties, we do know how to, more than, dare I say, any other party in Australian History, how to completely overstate our success.

At the time of writing, the Greens are in contention to pick up the seats of Newtown and Summer Hill, but Kaye insists the figure will be much higher. “We will win all the seats - if not by popular vote, then just through the knowledge that people are voting for us. After all, isn’t that a win in and of itself? That’s not even mentioning all the seats that don’t even exist yet!” If you would like to donate nonsense policy ideas to fuel the next Greens rocket due to fly to Neptune in 2016, please write your name, address and idea on a 100% recycled paper aeroplane and throw it in the direction of Glebe.

GREENS EUPHORIC WITH HISTORIC WIN by Chips McCreagh

Jubilant members of the NSW Greens today announced their intention to have a ticker tape parade down George Street on every day of the year for the next decade. The Greens are celebrating as they won a spot on the ballot paper, beating out other hopefuls including the Palmer United Party, Liberal Democratic Party and Sex Party. “We did it! We’ve won! We got on!” exclaimed party leader John Kaye, immediately popping a bottle of champagne while reading lines from the Communist Manifesto to the party faithful. The enthusiastic scenes are reminiscent of when, in 2013, the Greens lost their bid to elect Cate Faehrmann to the Australian Senate. On that day, they launched a rocket to the moon to celebrate their crushing defeat. When questioned as to what they plan to do if they actually won a seat, or even several, Kaye was momentarily awestruck before announcing, “We’ll have concurrent ticker tape parades down every street in Sydney!

“WE WILL WIN ALL THE SEATS - IF NOT BY POPULAR VOTE, THEN JUST THROUGH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT PEOPLE ARE VOTING FOR US.” It’s that, in combination with our chronic disorganisation and lack of committed volunteers outside of the inner city that makes me proud to be the leader of this great party – a party that has not just elected one person to the NSW Lower House in four years, but two since Federation!”