Vermont Cynic Issue 28

C YNIC

8-9

!"#$%#&'()!

CYNIC SEX SURVEY UVM students dish about their lives between the sheets

The University of Vermont’s independent voice since 1883

NEWS

Potential $11.8M increase of financial aid

1-5

ARTS

A guide to the summer music scene

6-7

SEX SURVEY What your peers have to say about sex

! ! ! " # $ % & ' ( ) * + ( , * " * ' & - . - /0 $ 1 2 3 + 4 - 5 3 + - 6 4 - 7 8 9 9 - : - ;' < 0 & $ - 9 7 = - > 1 1 0 $ - 7 ? - . - @ 0 % < , ( A ) ' ( 4 - ;$ % & ' ( )

Broken promises A review of 2010-11 SGA: goals met and where they fell short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

8-9

“It just saddens me that there was another year of internal SGA conflict that inhibited our progress.”

How to be an undergraduate

Nick Monteforte

LIFE

10

DISTRACT Adventures of Joel and Chris

11

OPINION

Take English majors out of the punchline

12-13 SPORTS

UVM spotlight of the week

14-16

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Online “Town Meeting” with Sen. Bernie Sanders Thursday afternoon, May 5 at http://sanders.senate.gov See vermontcynic.com for official time

The Cynic will be moderating a live chat with Sen. Bernie Sanders. It is a chance for UVM students to voice their concerns to the senator. Are you worried about debt from student loans?

The future of Planned Parenthood? Sen. Sanders wants to hear your thoughts. Submit your questions to:

cynicsandersquestions@gmail.com

A night at Higher Ground with Sam Adams 6

Seniors anticipate year-end activities Senior Week begins for graduating class !"#-%.(%#/%001 *++(+"#,"%-).+%/0("1' !"# $%&# "+%)),# -&./# +)2&"# $)# .'# &'(1# 7/.(3.$6)'# 6"# ')$# $%&# )',-# $%6'7#)'#"&'6)/"C#26'(";# !(26'6"$/.$)/"# %.(# $)# "%3$# ()5'#$%&#VOB#"&/:&/"#(3&#$)#%67%# *1,<7%$ &'$ *+.$ 1.=)4*1,*)&'$ ;.-4)*.$ *)/# 8&'6)/# M&&<1# H,.""# H)3'+6,# .(:6"&/#8./.%#83/7.,.#".6( =J%&/&#./&#.00/)Q62.$&,-#W1WXX# "$3(&'$"#5%)#0./$6+60.$&#6'#8&'6)/# M&&<1@# 83/7.,.# ".6(;# =M&# %.(# ):&/# YXX# "$3(&'$"# /&76"$&/# 56$%6'# *+.$714*$BC$?)'0*.4$&<$1.=)4*1,*)&'$ 4&6'7#,6:&;@ 8&'6)/# M&&<# ZXWW# 6'+,3(&"# &:&'$"#"3+%#."#$%&#H)22&'+&2&'$# [.,,1# 83'"&$# H/36"&"# .'(# 2.'-# )$%&/# .+$6:6$6&"# $%/)37%)3$# $%&# 5&&<1#$%&#VOB#H)''&+$6)'#5&4"6$&# "$.$&(; VOB#"&/:&/"#5&/&#"%3$#()5'#$)# 7'/$&0*$;+,*$%10)4.4$;.1.$4&3/$&0*$ .'(#$%&'#/&76"$/.$6)'#5."#/&)0&'&(# $%&#'&Q$#2)/'6'71#83/7.,.#".6(;# 8&'6)/# \3"$6'&# B3,,6&D# ".6(# $%.$# "%&# $%)37%$# 6$# 5."# 7)6'7# $)# 4&#.#%."",&#$)#"67'#6'1#43$#"%&#%.(# ')# $/)34,&# /&76"$&/6'7# *)/# &:&'$"1# .,$%)37%#)$%&/#"&'6)/"#%.(#$/)34,&;# =J%&/&# 5."# .# ,)$# )*# +)'*3"6)'# 56$%# /&7./(# $)# %)5# -)3# "67'&(# 30# ,=,)'$)<$A&0$?)44./$)*$*+.$714*$*)?.DE$ B3,,6&D#".6(;# K:&'# $%)37%# $%&/&# 5&/&# ")2&# 0/)4,&2"# 56$%# /&76"$/.$6)'1# "%&# ".6(# "%&# 6"# "$6,,# :&/-# &Q+6$&(# *)/# .,,# )*#$%&#&:&'$";## !,$%)37%#$%6"#5&&<#)*#&:&'$"#6"#

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“We had over 600 students register within the first 10 minutes of registration being live.”

Sarah Surgala Class Council adviser =J%&#8&'6)/#H,.""#H)3'+6,#5)/<"# &**)/$,&"",-# $)# 2.<&# "3/&# 8&'6)/# M&&<# 6"# .**)/(.4,&# *)/# "$3(&'$"1@# "%&#".6(;# M%6,&#$%&#5%),&#&:&'$#+)"$"#$%&# V'6:&/"6$-# ]^^1XXX1# "&'6)/"# )',-# %.:&#$)#0.-#]YX1#83/7.,.#".6(;# =J%&# &:&'$"# *)/# 8&'6)/# M&&<# ./&#+%)"&'#4."&(#)'#$%&#$/.(6$6)'"# .'(#$%)37%$"#*/)2#$%&#8&'6)/#H,.""# H)3'+6,1@# 83/7.,.# ".6(;# =8&'6)/# M&&<#6"#.#V'6:&/"6$-#$/.(6$6)'#$%.$# %."#4&&'#)++3//6'7#*)/#`^#-&./";@#

!

NEWS

TUESDAY, MAY 3, 2011

Students take a stand VSTEP asks campus community to use water refill stations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`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`$' 0#..' )5' /@87@' $/' .7#@5' %/4' 6*?%' +$*875$+' O5/4' #E/*$' 75B)@/5675$#.'#58'+*+$#)5#E).)$&' )++*7+,'+%7'+#)8C IY7' 4#5$' 7B7@&/57' /5' ?#6>*+' $/' :7$' )5B/.B78' #58' +/' #@7'$@&)5:'$/'@7#?%'/*$'$/'#+'6#5&'

!"#$%& '() !"#!$%&"#'("$) !"#$$%&'(")'

Drugs and alcohol Alcohol was confiscated from a student and someone who was not a student in Coolidge Hall on April 23.

Drug-related objects were confiscated at the amphitheater on April 20.

A student was charged with underage drinking in Coolidge Hall on April 22.

Alcohol was confiscated from students on April 25 at the Living/Learning Center.

PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY JAMIE LENT The Vermont Cynic

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Vandalism A basement window was vandalized at the Grasse Mount building on Main Street on April 23.

Theft Clothing was stolen from a dryer in University Heights North on April 20.

Two paintings were stolen from the Davis Center some time between March 23 and April 14.

Two bikes were stolen on April 25. One was taken from inside University Heights South and the other from the Given bike rack.

Prescription medicine was stolen from a dining room employee at the Billing Center on April 25.

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N EWS

TUESDAY, MAY 3, 2011

a

Senior Class Council reaches $5,000 goal Library outlets to cost $17,000 !"#$%&'(#)%*( !"#$$%&'(")'

JAMIE LENT The Vermont Cynic

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Bailey/Howe staff answers students

Library extends its hours for finals !"#!(+,"#-%"(. !"#$$%&'(")' N/4#b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b)*7"4$ 0416C$ /,#/$ /)6$>#+>.#$7#4$1>0#4D$"#$0/*6A 9["#4"#,$^##>*)7$4"#$.*O,/,C$ +>#)$*0$,#/.*04*2$+,$)+4D$8#$+8#$*4$ 4+$ c4"#$ 0416#)40d$ 4+$ "/I#$ /$ 4,*/.$ ,1)D=$U+O#,40+)$0/*6A (416#)40$ 0/*6$ 4"/4$ 4"#C$ "/I#$ O##)$ 8/*4*)7$ 5+,$ 4"#$ .*O,/,C$ 4+$ #]4#)6$*40$"+1,0$5+,$/$.+)7$4*3#A 9<$ 5##.$ .*^#$ 8#$ /,#$ 4"#$ +).C$ 02"++.$ 4"/4$ 2.+0#0$ 4"*0$ #/,.CD=$ 0+>"+3+,#$ ?OOC$ -"/>3/)$ 0/*6A$9<$4"*)^$c4"#$)+,3/.$"+1,0d$ /,#$ ,*6*21.+10$ /)6$ )+4$ I#,C$ /22+33+6/4*)7A=$ V4"#,$0416#)40$0/*6$4"/4$4"#C$

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“Whether keeping the library open is realistic or not, we owe it to [the students] to have a trial run.”

Angus Robertson Access Services supervisor (:?$ ;,#0*6#)4$ e1.*/)$ :+.5/,*)*$0/*6$4"#$)#8$"+1,0$/,#$ /8#0+3#D$ /)6$ +4"#,$ 0416#)40$ 0/*6$4"#C$/7,##A !"#$ .*O,/,C$ 0##0$ /$ "17#$ "+/-&'2&% "+% #-',./% 7)=% -"3$#% /,+1)6$ #]/3$ 4*3#D$ /)6$ 4"/4$ *0$ 8"C$ 4"#C$ 6#2*6#6$ 4+$ 2"/)7#$ 4"#$ "+1,0$)+8D$4"#$_#/)$+5$N*O,/,*#0$ R/,/$(/1.#$0/*6A

$250,000 gift helps BSAD Foundation shows support of School of Business and new dean !"#$%&"#/(&'0123 =)6+%>-("5' !"#$ P)*I#,0*4C$ ,#2#*I#6$ /$ 7*54$ +5$ E%F&D&&&$ 4+$ "#.>$ 01>>+,4$ 4"#$ (2"++.$ +5$ L10*)#00$ ?63*)*04,/4*+)$ fL(?_g$ /)6$ 4"#$ 2+..#7#Z0$ )#8$ 6#/)D$ (/)K/C$ ("/,3/D$ /22+,6*)7$ 4+$ /$ )#80$ ,#.#/0#A !"#$ :,+003/)$ B/3*.C$ B+1)6/4*+)$ +5$ -+0$ -+OD$ -+))A$ 7/I#$4"#$P)*I#,0*4C$4"#$51)60$/0$

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“Each outlet in this project would be around $100. The cost for the overall project will be around $17,000.”

Selene Colburn Public Relations and Outreach Librarian 9[#$ /,#$ 2+)4*)1*)7$ 4+$ >10"$ 0416#)40$ 4+$ 6+)/4#$ OC$ 2/..*)7$ 4"#*,$>"+)#0D$0#)6*)7$+14$#3/*.0D$ >+04*)7$+)$B/2#O++^$/)6$4/O.*)7$ *)$>+>1./,$/,#/0$/,+1)6$2/3>10$ .*^#$ 4"#$ _/I*0$ -#)4#,$ /)6$ 4"#$ L/*.#CMJ+8#$ N*O,/,CD=$ N*/3+0$ 0/*6A !"#$2./00$2+1)2*.$8*..$2+)4*)1#$ 4"#*,$ 3/,^#4*)7$ #55+,40$ 4",+17"$ 4"#$ #)6$ +5$ 4"#$ C#/,$ *)$ +,6#,$ 4+$ 3/]*3*`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

!

NEWS

TUESDAY, MAY 3, 2011

2,650 come to campus New initiative Admitted students visit to learn about UVM has trial run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

International students on campus increase in number

!"#$%&'%#(%))* !""#"$%&$'()*"'+,#$-.

MICHAEL CHAUCER-TORELLO The Vermont Cynic

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“The students who are attending UVM from China have a wonderful opportunity to learn about Burlington, Vermont and American culture, and American students are able to learn a lot from them.”

Claire Chevrier USPP program assistant and former SGA speaker of Senate

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

N EWS

SGA

TUESDAY, MAY 3, 2011

Senators say some goals were reached

Z#,&$%.6,0C%FN%'6.%8,=$%[N%',88% E$&%H(=$%(@@%563)-.%7B%&#$%$10%(@% 2?),"$()?#.":0)A;()?+;)4.':(<> F"#$B%.6B%[N>3%E(116%5(3$%,1% 610% 58$61% -)% &#$% /24>?% 7-&% B(-% 561>&CT% Z#,&$% .6,0% #$% 65=1('8$0E$0% &#$%,1&$*168%,..-$.%63(1E%&#$%/24% 610%&#$,*%$@@$5&%(1%)*(0-5&,+,&BC

“They say ‘I’m gonna come in and clean up the SGA,’ but you can’t.”

@((&)*,1&CT FZ$% (*0$*$0% QRR% '6&$*% 7(&&8$.%610%\-.&%#610$0%&#$3%(-&% &(%)$()8$C%Z$%&#(-E#&%&#6&%,@%'$% 6.=$0%)$()8$%&(%0(%,&?%'$%.#(-80% #$8)%(-&CT Z#,8$% 3(.&% (@% &#$.$% 6*$% )*(\$5&.% &#6&% 6*$% .&,88% ,1% 65&,(1% 610%',88%7$%56**,$0%(+$*%,1&(%1$O&% B$6*?% <*$.,0$1&% D-8,61% 2(8@6*,1,% .6,0C FZ,&#%/24?%*$688B%3(.&%(@%&#$% )*(\$5&.%&#6&%B(-%.$$%6*$%68'6B.%6% '(*=%,1%)*(E*$..?T%2(8@6*,1,%.6,0C

...continued from page 1

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The dean of libraries came in to discuss the expansion and new hours of the Bailey/Howe Library. From now until the end of the year, it will be open until 2 a.m. on school nights.

Mike White Chair of the Student Action Committee FN&% 0,01>&% )*$+$1&% -.% @*(3% E$&&,1E% 61B&#,1E% 0(1$% &#6&% '6.% (1%&#$%&678$?%7-&%'#6&%,&%0,0%=,10% (@% )*$+$1&% -.% @*(3% '6.% 0(,1E% 3(*$?T%#$%.6,0C "#$% /&-0$1&% 45&,(1% H(33,&&$$%&65=8$0%)*(\$5&.%.-5#% 6.%86&$;1,E#&%0,1,1E?%&#$%7$+$*6E$% 5(1&*65&?% 6% '6&$*% 7(&&8$% 761% 610% *$5$1&8B%&#$%E6B%78((0%761?%Z#,&$% .6,0C FZ$>+$%7$$1%'(*=,1E%688%B$6*% MICHAEL CHAUCER-TORELLO The Vermont Cynic (1% E$&&,1E% '6&$*% 7(&&8$.% (@@% (@% ,)-'".)%/*0"+.1".)%2$$*3(4)(*.%$".4)*+$%0*)"%)*%54$$%6"7($64)(*.% 563)-.?T% #$% .6,0C% FY(% 1(1.$1.$% '-+(.7%)8"(+%94+38%:;%1"")(.7%(.%)8"%<40($%=".)"+> .&$).% &('6*0.% 6% 8('$*% 56*7(1%

When Kofi Mensah ran for SGA president last year, he made several promises.

Did he keep them? Here’s what his senators have to say: Promise made

Promise kept?

What they’re saying

Increased transparency

?

“The one way transparency thing doesn’t really work for me ... This is a two-way street.” — Mike White

Increased accountability

X

“[At] times I think [Mensah] glossed over issues.” — Nick Monteforte

Legacy

!

“I think we left a pretty good legacy.” — Nick Monteforte

Election complaint considered closed, public apology requested Students cleared by police services, SGA and CSES !"#$%&"#'(&)*+,!"#$%&'()*+ "#$% &'(% )*$+,(-.% /&-0$1&% 2(+$*13$1&% 4..(5,6&,(1% 3$37$*.% 610% 5-**$1&% )*$.,0$1&% '#(%'$*$%163$0%,1%/$16&(*%48,96% :$0$*$*;<86.=$&&>.% 5(3)86,1&% #6+$% 7$$1% 58$6*$0?% @(*3$*% !"#$%&#'()*+,)-#'$./)$(.(#&)%').)

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!

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“I think now everyone can take comfort with the conclusion of the investigation.”

Kofi Mensah Former SGA president -#'$./) .'&) -.4%#8%49) $.%&) &#6&% &#$B% #60% 1(% #6*0% @$$8,1E.% &('6*0% :$0$*$*;<86.=$&&U% #('$+$*?%&#$B%*$V-$.&$0%&#6&%.#$% 36=$% 6% )-78,5% 6)(8(EB% @(*% #$*% 688$E6&,(1.C FN%#6+$%1(%61,3(.,&B%&('6*0.% /$16&(*%<86.=$&&%@(*%&#$%1(1.$1.$% &#6&%.#$%#6.%)-&%1(&%(18B%3B.$8@% &#*(-E#?%7-&%&#$%.$16&(*,68%7(0B% .$) 8#==0>) -#'$./) $(.(#&) %') (/#) 3$3(*610-3C%

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

A guest speaker from Women Helping Battered Women wants to create a stalking policy for UVM, something the school currently does not have.

The SGA voted to wait to make an official decision on the anti-stalking resolution.

A bill that shows financial support for non-SGA recognized clubs was passed.

Groups that fit this category are now able to attend a hearing with the Finance Committee to see if the SGA will provide the organization with funding.

Speaker of the Senate Nick Monteforte presented his new rules of conduct for Senate meetings.

Senators are no longer allowed to wear hats and must look presentable at each meeting. Not all senators said they agreed with the changes.

Vice President Will Vitagliano said that the President Search Committee met and established a timeline during his executive report.

President Julian Golfarini named Senator Dale Osef Senator of the Week.

!

ARTS

TUESDAY, MAY 3, 2011

Sam Adams seeks signature sound Musician wavers between genres, aspires to define self as artist

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JAMIE LENT The Vermont Cynic

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I@5% 0".5% 5?#"#% B-.% -% +65% 67% 4#2,8&#&1'2&'(&#$*.'%*2:8I&4,&%#*)?& IH?#"#%4.%-%?482?68%<6==,$45(%4$% N'%2'$&24#2&*%&/$),-6-'/$)?I [/,& 2'& 4*%& %/00,%%8& 4'3,+,-8& %'.,& ('-.,-& 0-*2*0%& 4#+,& 0'.,& 0-#31*$6&C#0J8&;)#.%&%#*)?

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4*%& ./%*08& #& ),0,$2& <'-2*'$& '(& ;)#.%O& (#$& C#%,& *%& .#),& /<& '(& :'/$6&2,,$%?&`$,&3'$),-%&#C'/2& 24,%,&(#$%&%*$6*$6&#1'$6&2'&1:-*0%& #C'/2&F%J**$6&U'11:I&#$)&C#-&2#C%& ),%<*2,&24,&(#02&24#2&24,:&4#+,&$'& *),#&34#2&24,&1:-*0%&.,#$&#$)&#-,& :,#-%&#3#:&(-'.&4#2*$6&0'11,6,?&&

-++2-9#.% O.?6B.P% .#++% 6,5% #1#$% (#%2,-& 24#$& 24,& '24,-& %4'3%& C,0#/%,& 24,-,& *%& #& C/$04& '(& :'/$6&J*)%&24#28&:'/&J$'38&('11'3& 2-,$)%?I& @9#.%MN2EN)%B?4+#%-%.8#<5",=)% *%&#&$#--'3&'$,&#2&C,%2&#$)&'1),-& 1*%2,$,-%&#-,&1*J,1:&2'&),%0-*C,&*2&#%& #$&*..#2/-,8&2-,$):&%'/$)?&& ;)#.%&%#*)&24#2&4,&*%&3'-J*$6& “It’s not a hip-hop '$& #& $,3& #1C/.& #$)& 24#2& (#$%& ,R<,02& #& .'-,& .#2/-,& A#.& show, it’s not a 0#$& ;)#.%&D&#$&#-2*%2&24#2&.,)*2#2,%& 4*%& 6-'324& #$)& ),#1*$6%& dubstep show, but it’s '$& 3*24& 24,& ./%*0& *$)/%2-:& 24#2& 4,& a fuckin’ show.” 6,$,-#11:&-,(,-%&2'&#%&F%$#J,%?I 5#-)0'-,& -#<& (#$%& #$)& Sam Adams 24'/642(/1&1*%2,$,-%&34'&$'2,&24#2& 24,&04'-/%&'(&FY/%2&A#:*$OI&D&'$,& Musician '(&;)#.%O&4*2%&D&4#%&1,%%&*$2,11,02& 24#$& 24,& C#0J& '(& #& 0,-,#1& C'R& .*642& 0#11& *2& P/%2& .'-,& .*$)1,%%& IC5K.%#1#"(B?#"#%7"6=%MN2(#-"2 <'<?

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The sky is green and the beats, antique

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ARTS

TUESDAY, MAY 3, 2011

!

How to get down when the weather heats up

A guide to the navigating the Queen City’s summer music scene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

These are a number of types of concerts you can attend, and Burlington does a pretty good job of accomodating them.

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Illustration by Ashley Drake

Illustration by Ashley Drake ),'$'*2,%4&**`I<*;)45'$,%'*;-45*8' *-$+' 21' 5;&' *2,' $,%' Q' )3' :-2C4&' #2/+:'&,-26;'5-'7&'-9&4'BG'Q';)5' 21'5;&'7&&4'6$4%&,>' \&/-00&,%$5)-,V' ?A\' -4' ]4$/&' ^-55&4' $,%' 5;&' b-/524,$#*' -,' 5;&' L24#),65-,' =$5&434-,5>' ^$45' -3' 5;&' _$+&' S;$01#$),' D$4)5)0&'@&*5)9$#8'?A\')*'1#$:),6' -,' I;24*%$:8' A26>' GG8' ]4$/&' ^-55&4' $,%' 5;&' b-/524,$#*' 5;&' 3-##-.),6' "$524%$:' $,%' "2,%$:>' @4)%$:C*' ;&$%#),&4' ;$*' :&5' 5-' 7&' $,,-2,/&%> 74'#)*&)'#-4.8 A*)%&' 34-0' &#&/54-,)/' $/5*' $,%' K$0' 7$,%*8' ),%)&' $45)*5*' 0$:' 7&' 5;&' 0-*5' 1-12#$4' +),%*' -3' $/5*' 5-' *5-1' -33' ),' L24#),65-,'

UVM students party for rights Slade hosts event for Afghan humanitarian !"#$%&'(')*'#+),-.* !"#$%&'!()**'+&$("& "#$%&' ($##' )*' +,-.,' -,' /$012*' 3-4' )5*' 6$4%&,' /#278' &,9)4-,0&,5$##:' /-,*/)-2*' 4&*)%&,5*' $,%' )5*' 7$*&0&,58' ;-0&' 5-' -1&,<0)/' =&%,&*%$:*' $,%' -5;&4' 02*)/' $,%' $45' /-##$7-4$5)-,*>'' ?,' @4)%$:' A14)#' BB8' "#$%&' !"#$%$&'( )*$"+$,( '-$( .//+( 0/+( 123$$4( 35( 6-"+2"'( 7&( "( !$&$8'( /-,/&45' 5-' *211-45' A36;$,)' .-0&,C*' 4)6;5*' $/5)9)*5' D$#$#$)' E-:$'34-0'F'<GB'1>0> H3' :-2' ;$9&,C5' 7&&,' 5-' "#$%&' 7&3-4&8'5;&'/-03:'/-2/;'/-##&/5)-,' $,%'&/#&/5)/'*52%&,5'/-,54)725)-,*' 5-' 5;&' 1$),5&%' 7$*&0&,5' /&)#),6' 6)9&')5'5;&'),%&1&,%&,5'3&&#),6'-3' $,' $1$450&,58' .)5;-25' 5;&' +&68' 7&'/97)"'$,( 8+#'( :$"+#( /+( #'7)2:( .//+; I;&4&'.&4&'6#-.'*5)/+*8',&-,' *1$,%&J'$,%'*;)45*'.&%6&%'2,%&4' 5;&' /&)#),6' 5)#&*8' K2*5' #)+&' -,&' 0)6;5'*&&'),'$'/#27'),'%-.,5-.,' L24#),65-,> "-1;-0-4&' A%&#),&' L-24$*' -46$,)M&%' 5;&' &9&,58' .)5;' $' #-5' -3';$4%'.-4+'$,%'$'524,-25'-3'NG' )/&8+%$,(<=$#'#(/&(>")$!//2; OH'3&&#'#2/+:'5;$5'"#$%&')*'$7#&' 5-' ;-#%' /-,/&45*' 3-4' *52%&,5*' 5-' /-0&' 5-' $,%' &,K-:' .)5;-25' &9&,' ;$9),6'5-'#&$9&'/$012*8P'L-24$*' *$)%>''OH5C*'14&55:'.)/+&%>P 6*",$( -/#'#( !$&$8'( )/&)$+'#( Q' ,-5' O1$45)&*P' Q' &9&4:' -5;&4' @4)%$:8'.)5;'$,'?1&,'D)/'"&**)-,' &9&4:' -5;&4' =&%,&*%$:>' H,' 5;&' 1$*58' 5;&*&' &9&,5*' ;$9&' ;-*5&%' 1-12#$4' *52%&,5' 02*)/)$,*' #)+&'

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“I feel lucky that Slade is able to hold concerts for students to come to and enjoy without even having to leave campus.” !

Adeline Bouras Sophomore

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7&5.&&,' L-*5-,' $,%' D-,54&$#8' -4'.;&4&9&4>'I;&:'#-9&'5;&'5)/+&5' *$#&*8' $,%' $##' 5;&' ;)11:`;)1*5&4' ;:74)%*' &$5' 21' 5;&)4' 7$,K-*' $,%' *-35'9-/$#*>' I;&*&' $4&' 5;&' *;-.*' 5;$5' 0-*5'1&-1#&'$/52$##:'%-,C5'%4),+` %-' %426*' 3-48' $,%' $4&' *-' 6#$%' 5;$5' 5;&:' $7*5$),&%' .;&,' 5;&:' &J1&4)&,/&' $8' #)+&8' ,$524$#' ;)6;' 34-0'5;&'02*)/>' A##' *,$4+),&**' $*)%&8' H' *$.'

L4-+&,' "-/)$#' "/&,&' $5' ()6;&4' ]4-2,%' #$*5' 3$##' $,%' )5' .$*' -,&' -3' 5;&' 7&*5' /-,/&45*' HC9&' &9&4' !$$&('/;(E(#=))$##0=*(%=#7)D8**$,( L24#),65-,' *200&4' .-2#%,C5' 7&' /-01#&5&' .)5;-25' ;)55),6' 21' $5' #&$*5'-,&'),%)&'*;-.>

\&/-00&,%$5)-,V' H,%)&' %$4#),6' L4)6;5' R:&*' -,' E2#:' BF' $5'5;&'";&#724,&'D2*2&0>'cA#*-' $//-00-%$5&*'5;&'-25%--4'*;-.' /$5&6-4:> 74'#.069.:96.8*#-4.8 ^$45' -3' 5;&' 4&$*-,' 3-4' L24#),65-,C*' 72*5#),6' 02*)/' */&,&' )*' )5*' #-/$5)-,' *$,%.)/;&%' 7&5.&&,'L-*5-,'$,%'D-,54&$#>' =;)#&' 5;)*' *)52$5)-,' %-&*' %4$.'$/5*';&4&8')5'$#*-'0&$,*'5;$5' &9&,' 64&$5&4' 02*)/$#' 9$4)&5:' )*' 4&#$5)9&#:'/#-*&'7:'Q'L-*5-,')*'d>Y' ;-24*'$.$:8'D-,54&$#')*'$7-25'B>' =)5;' ,-' /#$**&*' -,' =&%,&*%$:' 0-4,),6*' Q' ;-1&32##:' Q' $,%' 0$,:' 1-12#$4' $45)*5*' 5-24),68' 5;&'*200&4')*'5;&'1&43&/5'5)0&'5-' 5$+&'$'4-$%54)1'5-'$'7)66&4'/)5:'3-4' $'7)66&4'*;-.> \&/-00&,%$5)-,V' U)*1$5/;>' L24#),65-,)5&*' #-9&*' U)*1$5/;8' 725' 5;&:C4&' ,-5' /-0),6' ;&4&' 3-4' 5;&)4'*200&4'5-24'$*'$'4&/&,5#:< 4&2,)5&%'7$,%>'I;&:'$4&8';-.&9&48' 1#$:),6'5;4&&'*;-.*'),'L-*5-,'-,' E2,&' Be8' BY' $,%' Bf' $5' 5;&' @#&&5' S&,5&4>']--%'#2/+'6&55),6'5)/+&5*' 5;-26;'Q'$##'5;4&&',)6;5*'$4&8',-5' *2414)*),6#:8'*-#%'-25>' 74'#(.3%(#-4.8 I;&*&' 0$:' 7&' 7&*5' 5-' 1#$:' *1-,5$,&-2*#:>' R9&4:-,&' $,%' ;)*' -4' ;&4' 4--00$5&' ;$*' $' 7$,%' -4' +,-.*' *-0&-,&' ),' $' 7$,%8' $,%' $' ,207&4' -3' #-/$#' L24#),65-,' 02*)/)$,*' $4&' 14&55:' 6--%>' =;&5;&4' $5' b&/5$4C*' -4' ),' *-0&-,&C*'7$*&0&,58')5'.-2#%,C5' 7&' $' 0&#-%)/$##:' /-01#&5&' *200&4' ),' L24#),65-,' .)5;-25' ;)55),6'21'$'/-21#&'-3'#-/$#'*;-.*>

!

FEAT URE

TUESDAY, MAY 3, 2011

SEX SURVEY

I describe myself as ?/.(&QZ9QT B(2/.(&\YT "-/)%*()4(-&Z9ZT ]()4(-&O(,0-/.&V9\T ]()4(-C,((-&Z9ZT

"#$%&'($)*&+,-&./%0&$%%,(&+1&0#(&%(2(%0(-3&!"#$ %&'()&#/%&4(5$4(4&0+&*+&+,0&6$0#&/&'/)*&7& 8,)&$)0()4(49&:(&%,-;(<(4&0#(&=>?&%0,4()0& '+4<&+)&0#($-&%(@,/.&#/'$0%3&8-(1(-()5(%&/)4& (;(-<0#$)*&(.%(&-(./0(4&0+&=>?(-%&*(00$)A& 4+6)9&&

Age Range:

I would describe my sexual preference asâ&#x20AC;Ś W(0(-+%(@,/.&UV9!T ]/<&Z9YT ^(%'$/)&V9\T I$%(@,/.&X9\T _,(%0$+)$)*&R9QT _,((-&Z9YT

Political Affiliation

17-25

Democrat Republican

What year are you?

B$-%0&E(/-&RQ9YT P+8#+2+-(&RQ9YT [,)$+-&QR9!T P()$+-&Z\9UT ]-/4,/0(&Q9XT

63.6%

When looking for a partner, I would describe my type as...

B+-&0#$%&C,(%0$+)3&6(&*/;(&<+,&/..&/&8.(0#+-/&+1&0<8(%& 0+&-(%8+)4&6$0#9&&B+-&1(2/.(&-(%8+)4()0%3&0#(&2+%0& 8+8,./-&0<8(&6/%&/&2,%$5$/)3&6#$.(&2/.(%&6(-(&2+-(&$)& 0#(&2/-D(0&1+-&/)&#+)+-%&5+..(*(& #,))<9 & "#(-(&6(-(3&#+6(;(-3&0#(&1(6& +1&<+,&0#/0&1(.0&+,-&-(%8+)%(%& 6(-(&)+0&/..&()5+28/%%$)*9&E+,& -(%8+)4(4F & G'/..-++2&4/)5(& G8-(8 & G',11&*,< & G$)&0#(&2$.$0/-<& & G0#(&#+0&4+-D & G2/)H%.,0 & GI-+H-+8(/) & G/)4&2/)<&2+-(9

Other

17%

10%

9.4%

If I could have sex with anyone from the UVM community it would be ________, because...

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

My main form of birth control is...

I have had ________ sexual partners 35 30 Percentage

35 30

Percentage

P0+-(H'+,*#0&5+)4+2%&QR9ST P0,4()0&.$1(&5+)4+2%&!9UT "#(&1(2/.(&5+)4+2&VT W+8$)*&1+-&/&2$-/5.(&X9ST "#(&8,..H+,0&2(0#+4&YT "#(&8$..&XY9ZT

Independent

25 20 15

"#(&8,..H+,0&2(0#+43&-(/..<&*,<%`&&B+-&0#+%(&+1&<+,& 10 -(.<$)*&+)&<+,-&%6((0&0$2$)*&%D$..%&/)4&#+8$)*&1+-&/& 5 2$-/5.(3&6(&/-(&#+8$)*&6$0#&<+,9&& 0

None 1-2

25 20 15 10 5 0

3-5

None 1-2

6-9 10-15 16+

3-5

6-9 10-15 16+

FEAT URE

TUESDAY, MAY 3, 2011

I would be up for making a sex tape

!

I would describe the best sex Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve ever had as...

C+$0.+$&%1#$+&#'&(#)&/1#&%1#)71%&(#)&/+*+&$#&')--(9&/1#& *+$,#-.+.&/0%1&5%1+&>+$%&$+4&EF;+&+;+*&12.9:&$#3+&#'&(#)& *+$,#-.+.&/0%1&.+%208+.&.+$6*0,%0#-$&'#*&%10$&I)+$%0#-J K30-.O>8#/0-79&8#;+O32D0-79&$#)8O$12D0-79&/+O6#882,$+.O 0-O2O1+2,O#'O$/+2%(O>#.0+$&D0-.&#'&$+4< K+I)28&0-&>+2)%(&%#&%12%&#'&%1+&>0*%1&#'&2&)-06#*-<& Q$%#-0$10-79&E&D-#/K K+2*%1O$12%%+*0-7<

True 41%

L%1+*$&,*#;0.+.&2-+6.#%+$J

False 59%

My most embarrassing moment during sex was...

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

My favorite sexual position... "#$%&#'&(#)&*+$,#-.+.&/0%1&2&304&#'&56#/70*89:& 530$$0#-2*(:&2-.&5.#77(:&28%1#)71&/0%1&$#3+& ;2*02%0#-$&0-&$,+880-7&2-.&7+-.+*<&&

K%1+&%03+&0%&7#%&3+&2-&+4%+-$0#-&#-&3(&Y-780$1&,2,+*< K/0%1&2&D0.&E&V)$%&3+%&2%&2&,2*%(9&/+&/+*+&0-&10$&.#*3&*##3& 2-.&12.&$+4&'#)*&%03+$9&1+&/2$&>07< KE&/2$&/#D+-&),&0-&%1+&30..8+&#'&%1+&-071%&>(&3(&+4O 70*8'*0+-.&/1#&%+88$&3+&5EF3&1#*-(<:&E&/28D+.&%#&%1+& >2%1*##39&$,82$1+.&$#3+&6#8.&/2%+*&#-&3(&'26+9&*+%)*-+.& %#&%1+&>+.9&%1*+/&1+*&.#/-&2-.&*#6D+.&1+*&')6D0-7&/#*8.P

When I orgasm it sounds like...

H#*&%10$&I)+$%0#-9&$#3+&#'&(#)&)$+.&3+%2,1#*$J K2&72*>27+&.0$,#$28&/0%1&2&$,##-&0-&0% K2&70*2''+&.0$%)*>0-7&2-&+8+,12-% K2&(#)-7&$%++.&/10--(0-7&0-&%*0)3,1 K2&>2>(&$+28&7+%%0-7&68)>>+.

L%1+*$&,*#;0.+.&2&,82(&>(&,82(J K)1&)1&)1&)1&M,+*$#-F$&-23+N&)1&)1&)1111&(+$&D++,&7#O 0-79&)11&)1111&M,+*$#-F$&-23+N&)111&)111&(+$$$&(+$$$$$$ K#13(7#.#13(7#.#13(7#.#13(7#.#13(7#.#13(7#.& EF3&2>#)%&%#&6#3+&(+$(+$(+$(+$(+$&#11111111P Q-.&#-+&+8#I)+-%&*+$,#-.+-%&,*#;0.+.&)$&/0%1&%10$&.+O $6*0,%0#-J KR+%&3+&,20-%&2&;0$)28&I)06D8(<&A#3>0-+&%1+&;#06+&#'&S#1-& "2(+*9&S26D&S#1-$#-&2-.&"0612+8&S26D$#-9&2..&2&80%%8+& 7*)-%&2-.&%1+*+&(#)&12;+&0%<&T+2;+-&0-&%1+&'#*3&#'&;#628& 61#*.$<

!"#$%&'()*&$+'*&'",'&-$.+')'&/0./1()."')2,*."',3' %03+&$+2*610-7&#-&=*>2-&?06%0#-2*(<&@#)&*+$,#-.+.& /0%1&5%1+&A2-2.02-&>#>$8+.9:&5%1+&82B(&.#79:&5%1+& 6*#)610-7&%07+*9&10..+-&.*27#-:&2-.&5*+;+*$+& 4,25)"67'!.$'1%&"'8$)%9':#,'+$&(%/5$&'#/2&$;3')&' 532-8(&1)32-&32-9:&*+$,#-.+.&5C26D&$1#%$&0$&3(& ,#$0%0#-9&'2880-7&0-%#&30$$0#-9&%1+-&806D0-7&.#/-&%#& (#)*&>+88(&>)%%#-9&E&20-F%&'*#-%0-<&G1+(&.#-F%&6288&3+& >07&'#*&-#%10-7<:&E-%+*+$%0-7<

I would describe losing my virginity as...

35 30

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

!"

LIFE

TUESDAY, MAY 3, 2011

A CYNICAL GUIDE TO LIFE

KATIE IDA

!"#$%"& Be a UVM undergraduate ALEXA ALGIOS The Vermont Cynic

0,#'*1$*+,1'*2$(,3$4./*,+$55+,6$*,7*/.)8(+,(/,6)49*:,+().$4(+,;$.4$+.':,!"#$%&#'!()$%#*!!)#!'#$%&# <'3"+,=$4($*>,?6$,$3$4(,@'+,1/3$.,"4+".$,.)$,(/,*'"4>

Farmers go to market in DC

Local vendors promote food and jewelry ()*+,-./*01, !"#$%&$'()*$+,-."(/*

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

8)6=.=4=%3&=*&4$%&D)E=3&F%*4%(&80(&)& 8(%3$<&.06)..>&-(0+?6%+&1%).&8(01& 4$%&8)(1%(3&1)(7%4C KGE%(>4$=*;& .0073& 30& ;00+<& 5?4& ?*80(4?*)4%.>& P& 6)*:4& 5?>& 8(01& %E%(>& E%*+0(<M& 30-$010(%& Q%**=%&I0;)*&3)=+C R%%.&'00+<&4$%&;(=..%+&6$%%3%& !"#$%&'()*+,#(,-'.$'"/)'0(!"'1..(' 08& 4$%& D)E=3& F%*4%(<& 3%=S%+& 4$%& 0--0(4?*=4>&40&10E%&.06)4=0*&)*+& @0=*&4$%&8%34=E=4=%3C

â&#x20AC;&#x153;My favorite part of coming to the farmers market is talking to people.â&#x20AC;?! *# (IMES Senior 23/)()' 4!' #' ,."' .5' "(#506' 4$".'

4$%&4?**%.&5?4&*04&)3&1?6$&)3&)4& 4$%&8)(1%(3&1)(7%4&2$%(%&-%0-.%& )(%& 2).7=*;& )(0?*+& 360-=*;& 80(& 800+<M&3%*=0(&I)4=%&T)673&08&R%%.& '00+&3)=+C F0110*& '(0?*+& R)(1<& )& 34?+%*4U(?*& 8)(1& )4& J9,<& 2)3&

-AKE A DELICIOUS CREPE BREAKFAST )T S SUPER EASY AND READY IN LESS THAN HALF AN HOUR -AKES CREPES 3TEPS DACOTA PRATT-PARISEAU

Nutella and Banana Crepes

)N A LARGE BOWL WHISK TOGETHER THE mOUR AND EGGS 'RADUALLY ADD IN THE MILK COOKING OIL AND SALT "EAT UNTIL SMOOTH (EAT A LIGHTLY OILED FRYING PAN OVER MEDIUM HIGH HEAT 3COOP THE BATTER INTO THE PAN

USING APPROXIMATELY Â&#x2014; CUP FOR EACH CREPE 4ILT THE PAN WITH A CIRCULAR MOTION SO THAT THE BATTER COATS THE ENTIRE PAN EVENLY #OOK THE CREPE FOR AROUND TWO MINUTES UNTIL THE BOTTOM IS LIGHT BROWN ,OOSEN WITH A SPATULA AND TURN AND COOK THE OTHER SIDE &ILL EACH CREPE WITH .UTELLA AND BANANA 3ERVE WARM

-(%3%*4& )3& 2%..<& 3%..=*;& #U3$=(43<& (#7'/.$)-'#$%'1.7)(!8' K,>& 8)E0(=4%& -)(4& 08& 601=*;& 40& 4$%& 8)(1%(3& 1)(7%4& =3& 4).7=*;& 40&-%0-.%<M&3%*=0(&QF&V=1%3&3)=+C& KF0110*& '(0?*+& R)(1& 1)7%3& )*&%880(4&40&601%&40&%E%(>&8)(1%(3& 9#(:)"' ;+"' 4"<!' %4506+,"' ;)6#+!)'

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

Ingredients: s CUP OF mOUR s EGGS s Â&#x17E; CUPS OF milk s TBSP OF COOKING OIL s Â&#x2014; TSP OF SALT s JAR OF .UTELLA s SLICED BANANAS

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At some point in your college career, you will live with someone who you will selfdiagnose, with the small amount of knowledge that you gained in Psyc 001, as insane.

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DIST RACT IONS

Crossword

brought to you by bestcrosswords.com

TUESDAY, MAY 3, 2011

ACROSS 1- Tax 7- Enervates 11- Appropriate 14- Unification Church member 15- Horne solo 16- And not 17- Put in 18- Skinny kid?

20- Mosaic pieces 22- Actress Anouk 23- Affirmative vote 24- ___ es Salaam 25- Brazenly obvious 27- Dry run 29- Describes a gently cooked steak 31- Choir member 32- Artificial 35- Capital of Shaanxi province, China 37- Mouth, slangily 38- Asset easily made liquid 41- ___-relief 44- “Orinoco Flow” singer 45- Used in building casks 49- Affirm solemnly 51- Canvas shelter used on camping trips

53- Ho Chi ___ 54- Natives of the Middle East 56- And so on 59- Actor Gulager 60- One of Chekhov’s “Three Sisters” 61- High temperature thermostat 63- Tongue 66- Bring in from a foreign country 67- Turkish title 68- Greek temple 69- Come out 70- Fam. member 71- Horse’s gait 72- One who cuts wood

DOWN 1- Mimic 2- Minter 3- Own 4- Addition column 5- Fathered 6- Aquarium fish 7- Kemo ___ 8- 100 square meters 9- Actress Zadora

!!

10- Capital city of Yemen 11- Irregularity 12- Cornmeal mush 13- Canopy site 19- Falafel holder 21- Sheet music abbr.

25- Pizazz 26- Inclines 28- Convert into leather 30- He who hews 33- Driver’s aid 34- Greek island 36- After taxes 39- Deli breads 40- Sweet potato 41- Situated at the bottom 42- Typical 43- Highly original 46- Triumph 47- Blow up 48- Window cover 50- Circular band 52- Mystery writer Josephine 55- Mock 57- Attempts 58- Punctuation mark 61- Annoyance 62- Gush 64- Swiss river 65- Sticky stuff

Easy

Sudoku

The Adventures of Joel and Chris by Andrew Becker

Medium

Hard

!"

Opinion

TUESDAY, MAY 3, 2011

STAFF EDITORIAL

!"#$%#&'()!

C YNIC

EDITORIAL BOARD !"#$%&'#(')*#+, !"#"$%&'(%)$"*%+ ,-.%,/0123&40

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ADVISER 9.C:A$<0;"E#3+& PHB%*'T1".*

,B&1".*/0123&40

The admitted students day facade

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CORRECTION DISTURBING QUOTE OF THE WEEK

COLUMNISTS

Everyone is sick of Obama’s lies

ZACH DESPART

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Word on the street is that Obama was an atrocious student, and I believe it. What doest magna cum laude even mean, anyway? ?#$%.+#B.++5#!"":#.#(6.--# $2-#P*;2"+#5%.+#.!#G"6*@)2.#";# bc!$#(%;!*+5#0"62!2(.6#!$"*/$!># e"*#:;"1#1$"#1.-#0+").)65# 32-(*--%3#2;#!$.!#(6.--I#`.+6# 9.+K>#?,3#62:%#!"#-%%#U).@.# %K06.2;#!$.!>#O;3#2&#U).@.#1.-# -*($#.#0""+#-!*3%;!A#$"1#1.-# %6%(!%3#0+%-23%;!#"&#!$%#S.+C.+3# W.1#=%C2%1I# O;3#-0%.:2;/#"&#S.+C.+3#Z# 5"*#:;"1#1$"#%6-%#1%;!#!$%+%I# D%3#`.(5M5;-:2>#D$.!,-#+2/$!#Z# !$%#7;.)"@)%+>

O;3#1$.!#.)"*!#U).@.,-#!2%-# !"#.;"!$%+#3"@%-!2(#!%++"+2-!A#B266# O5%+-I#e"*#:;"1#1$"#B266#O5%+-# 2-#0+").)65#+%6.!%3#!"I#%&'()# 9.;./2;/#L32!"+#f%&&#O5%+->#F23# ?#3"#.;5#+%-%.+($#2;!"#!$2-I#?#323# ;"!> O;3#1$5#$.-;,!#U).@.# P"2;%3#.#;%1#(";/+%/.!2";#-2;(%# $%#@"C%3#!"#<.-$2;/!";I#?#)%!# $%,-#.#9*-62@>#gh#0%+(%;!#"&# O@%+2(.;-#./+%%#Z#.!#6%.-!#!$.!,-# 1$.!#H%;>#f"$;#`56#-.23># F";,!#)%62%C%#!$.!I#S2-# @2336%#;.@%#2-#S*--%2;A# 1$2($A#.(("+32;/#!"#.;#"C%+65# 0.!+2"!2(#$"!#3"/#C%;3"+#?#";(%# %;("*;!%+%3A#@%.;-#X3%.!$#!"# O@%+2(.;->Y#J6*-A#$%,-#.;#O+.)># F";,!#5"*#+%@%@)%+#!$.!#1"@.;# .!#!$%#bcc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

?;#!$%#?--*%#bh#.+!2(6%#XU+.!"+5#).!!6%-#"00+%--2";#2;#+%(%;!#(";!%-!Y#J+"&%--"+#O6&+%3#H;23%+,-#;.@%#1.-#2;("++%(!65# -0%66%3#XH;53%+>Y##

!"#$%&'(%)*+*%('%,*-*&,%.//%.01*2(0%'-%3'4*+&$*&(5%3',%'&/6%7&'80% ()*+*%.+*%(+*$*&,'90%.$'9&(0%'-%"&2'$1*(*&2*5%:% — Sen. Bernie Sanders, I-Vt., on “The Daily Show,” discussing his opposition to cuts to social welfare programs, proposed by congressional Republicans.

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OPINION

TUESDAY, MAY 3, 2011

!"

COLUMNISTS

Take English majors out of the punchline JEFF BARBIERI

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Maybe if scientists took more time to study sentence structure and great authors of the past, their writing wouldn’t be regarded almost universally as poorly organized, wordy tripe that people only read if forced to rifle through looking for facts.

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Smoking ban misguided

JOSEPHINE MILLER

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This is a picturesque little city and the local government goes to great lengths to keep it that way. Whether it’s replacing old wooden clapboard siding with Hardie Board or lighting up in front of Henry’s Diner, these offenses are not likely to ruin the Queen City.

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Quick Opinions

Illustration by Andrew Becker

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

Stefanie Doucette #$%&'$()%*'$%+,-.,/01).%2324%&'0(%0(-5&%#60-0&78% 9$:%;,-5&%.$%&',&%')6)8%

Zach Despart V$E).7%V)-&6,/%.6$BB).%&')%>,//K%&')%6),/%6$,(&% $=%W$-,/.%#6:EB%*,(%,&%/,(&%*))H5(%<'0&)%J$:()% V$66)(B$-.)-&5(%W0--)68%

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Sports

TUESDAY, MAY 3, 2011

UVM athlete spotlight of the week Sophie Allen —

Class: Senior Hometown: Stowe, Vt. High School: Stowe High School

Illustration by Dana Ortiz

!"#$%&'#()*+, !"#$$%&'(")'

Club Equestrian

Accomplishments at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

Previous accomplishments: J.( )TT,%,1.( %1( <,..,./( 5>0%,60&( 9&)'D &.T( *+)56,1.7+,67( <+,0&( *156&%,./( <,%+( %+&( N&'51.%( 2>.%&'( U>56&'( #771*,)%,1.A( ,--$'& ./0-"1$#& 2*%& 6($& 8$9& :')-0'#& OI>,%)%,1.( =+)56,1.7+,67( $'15( VWWCD VWWE:( ;($& %*#$& 6*& 0& 1%46& 7-05$& 1'"4(& "'& 6($& X!AWWW( ?1<( =+,0T'&.Y7Z#T>0%( U>56&'( =0)77,*( ,.( VWW[( ).T( 60)*&T( 7&*1.T( ,.( %+&( 2>T71.(U>.,1'(OI>,%)%,1.()%(%+&(8)'7+)00( ).T( ;%&'0,./( ?&)/>&( Q,.)07( ,.( %+&( 7)5&( 9&)':(

Courtesy of Athletic Communications

Sports in short !"#-+'#.%'/'0* !"#$$%&'(")'

Goat of the week: Albert Haynesworth

Boss of the week: Chris Paul =+',7( 3)>0( '&5,.T&T( &-&'91.&( %+)%( +&( ,7( %'>09( %+&( \&7%( 61,.%( />)'T( ,.( %+&( 0&)/>&( %+,7( 6)7%( <&&]( )$%&'( 5).)/,./( 6*& <$$7& 6($& 1%46& %*/'#& 4$%"$4& \&%<&&.(%+&(?)]&'7().T(21'.&%7( 7>'6',7,./09(*017&:( ^,%+1>%( 7,T&],*]( G)-,T( ^&7%A( 3)>0( T,T( ,%( )00_( 7*1',./A( )77,7%,./( ).T( T',-,./( )( 4&<( F'0&).7( 1$$&.7&( %+)%( <1>0T( \&( 1%+&'<,7&(,561%&.%: M.$1'%>.)%&09A(B1\&().T(%+&( ?)]&'7( &0,5,.)%&T( %+&( 21'.&%7( ,.( 7,@:( ;%,00A( =+',7( 3)>0( 5>7%( \&( '&*1/.,`&T( $1'( 6'1-,T,./( %+&( 517%( &0&*%',$9,./( 6&'$1'5).*&( "'& 6($& 1%46& %*/'#& *2& 6($& 8=,& 60)91$$7:

Quote of the week

!

How much are your teeth worth?

!

— Roger McDowell Atlanta Braves pitching coach

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Women’s fencing club wins national championship P+&( M.,-&'7,%9( 1$( N&'51.%( <15&.Y7( $&.*,./( *0>\( 7&*>'&T( %+&( 4)%,1.)0( =+)56,1.7+,6( %,%0&( ,.( %+&( M.,%&T( ;%)%&7( #771*,)%,1.(1$(=100&/,)%&(Q&.*,./( =0>\7( 4)%,1.)0( =+)56,1.7+,6( *156&%,%,1.(+&0T(1.(#6',0(d().T( !W()%(%+&(M.,-&'7,%9(1$(=+,*)/1: P+&( %+'&&D6&'71.( %&)5( 1$( 8&/).(?,.TA(#7+0&,/+(;&<&00().T( ;90-,)( ;<1'T( *156&%&T( )/),.7%( eW(1%+&'(%&)57($'15(>.,-&'7,%,&7( )*'177(%+&(*1>.%'9:(#$%&'(7&&T,./(

$")(6(& 026$%& 6($& 1%46& %*/'#+& 6($& MN8( <15&.( 6'&-),0&T( 1-&'( P&@)7A( 3,%%7\>'/+A( J.T,).)A( O)7%( =)'10,.)( ).T( R>%/&'7( %1( &)'.( %+&(%,%0&(1$(4)%,1.)0(=+)56,1.7:( 8&/).( ?,.T( )071( %11]( +15&( %+&( %+,'T( 60)*&( %'16+9( ,.( %+&( ,.T,-,T>)0(*156&%,%,1.: 3($& EFG& 6$0C& 0-4*& 1$-#$#& 8&.Y7( O6&&A( Q1,0( ).T( ;)\&'( 4./0#4+& 1'"4("')& HI6(+& JH%#& ).T(eV.TA('&76&*%,-&09A(1>%(1$(eC( %&)57:

Ouellette receives AE Performer of the Week honors

Track and field impressive at Middlebury

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S P O RT S

TUESDAY, MAY 3, 2011

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The Cynic’s MLB Seniors skate forward power rankings Burrows and Miller continue hockey careers !"#$%&'&#(%)'*& !"#$%&'!()**'+&$("&

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HONDA 1988 GL1500 MOTORBIKE FOR FREE IF INTERESTED CONTACT

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Student-athlete pop culture grid !"#J505K"#L&0MN !()**'+&$("&

The studentathletes

Luke Apfeld First year Men’s basketball Forward

Sebastian Stalberg Sophomore Men’s hockey Forward

Mitchell Switzer Sophomore Men’s track & field Sprinter

I’m always watching...

“Swamp People”

My mouth

“WWE Friday Night SmackDown”

Banning “freeze tag” is...

A bit ridiculous

A strange word

The worst idea in the world

The last movie I saw was...

“The Prestige”

“The Fighter”

“Step Brothers”

My favorite musician(s) is/are...

Bob Marley

Michael Jackson

jmarkbyle@gmail.com

Fireworks

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TUESDAY, MAY 3, 2011

Spectacle

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(Above) UVM’s men’s club rugby team plays against Middlebury on April 23. (Top Right) Kyle Sminkey (12) celebrates a goal with a teammate in the win against St. John’s on March 19. (Right) Niel Sbardella and Kate Evans of the UVM men’s and women’s crew teams, row for charity on April 8 outside the Davis Center. (Bottom) A Catamount prepares to pass the ball during UVM’s 15-5 win over Holy Cross on April 5. Photos taken by Michael Chaucer-Torello and Jamie Lent.

S P O RT S