As you may have noticed, this isn’t your average issue of the Vermont Cynic.
Since becoming an all-digital publication over two years ago, our stands have remained empty—until now.
While we won’t be returning to weekly print, we still miss the feeling of reading words on a page, not on a screen. As UVM’s only independent student-led newspaper, we want to honor the effort put into every article, column, photograph and illustration we publish.
So now, we bring you our annual end-of-semester sex issue: magazine edition.
We invite you to thumb through the pages, circle your quiz answers and maybe dog-ear some pieces—you know, for future reference.
Thank you to all our section editors, copy editors, writers, photographers and illustrators for the work you do.
For those of you with your name in this issue: rip out your contributions and show them to your friends, tape them on your wall, bask in seeing your work in print. We promise not to be on the stands for just one night ;)
Yours,
Sophia Balunek Editor-in-Chief
Sex-ed post Living Well cuts — Noah Diedrich
Sex and the Cynic: you and your friend did what? — Sarah Koegler
“Eyes Wide Shut”: a (sex) cult classic — Erika Tally
The right to spit: criminalization of spit through time — Kendall Evans
Pain, pleasure and pressure: the rise of rough sex — Liliana Mefford & Nora Sissenich
Dirty talk: “meaningless” and its implications — Maya Surrenti
Quiz: What relationship type are you? — Mackenzie Bender A user’s guide to UVM men — Maggie Swanborn
The great Gen Z gender gap — Lucas Martineau
The secret life of a 19- year-old preteen — Olivia Langlan
staff hot takes: sex Crossword — Alex Strand
SEX-ED POST LIVING WELL CUTS
BY NOAH DIEDRICH
From depleted condom dispensers to the end of Sex Ed Office Hours, positive sexuality programming at UVM has suffered following a slew of cuts to Living Well, said Erin Kelley, a senior who was involved with the department.
The shifts come after the University terminated a majority of its Living Well department on June 17, according to a June 24 Cynic article.
The cuts were part of a restructuring of the Center for Health and Wellbeing, whose Education and Outreach arm was reorganized to increase student access to clinical care, the article stated.
“When I think about all that we lost, myself personally and as a broader UVM community, it feels like a punch in the chest,” Kelley said. “I still have a lot of grief about it.”
Kelley, who planned to be an intern Living Well this semester, said sexual health resources have been less visible on campus
this semester. Programming like the Living Well zine library, Sex Ed Bingo and SEXPO, a sexual health fair organized by Living Well employees, are completely gone, she said.
“I have friends who told me that they would have had unprotected sex without some of these resources or the condoms they got from the condom dispenser in Davis,” Kelley said.
Jennifer Shasberger, marketing coordinator for CHWB, said the department is planning on continuing SEXPO in the spring, and that Sex Ed Bingo is a program typically run by the UVM Program Board.
“Probably a couple of the [condom] dispensers were a little bare for the start of the semester, but it’s totally on our radar as something that needs to be maintained,” Shasberger said.
The coordination of these services and events fell on Living Well employees whose positions were terminated over the sum-
mer, like Jenna Emerson, a former health and sexuality educator, Kelley said.
Emerson declined to comment or provide a statement.
Blake Reilly, executive director of CHWB, said that while Emerson’s position no longer exists, his department is committed to reducing barriers to care and increasing communications with students.
“It’s really about getting in front of students and trying to make these services more accessible,” he said. “It’s great to have named positions, and it’s also great to expand the number of services that we can offer to students and do that upstream work.”
Reilly said that while positive sexuality programs are no longer being offered, CHWB healthcare providers are willing to help create any programming that students request.
“We’ve, in a way, expanded the menu of options, because we’re not so laser focused on specific items,” he said. “We’re trying to
Photo by Alex Strand
I have friends who told me that they would have had unprotected sex without some of these resources or the condoms they got from the condom dispenser in Davis.
elevate student voices rather than just make the playbook ourselves.”
Kelley said one of the consequences of the CHWB reorganization was the end of The Good Stuff, a student-led discussion group that focused on the “good stuff” about sex.
The group, which reached its climax in the spring, held weekly meetings in which students facilitate conversations about sex in a positive light, Kelly said. Topics ranged from the history of BDSM to sex around the world to ethical porn, she said.
“It fell apart this semester pretty much entirely,” said Kelley, a former member.
Reilly said he was not aware if The Good Stuff was currently operating or not.
“I’m not sure if that’s happening currently, but if there are students who want it to happen, we’ll make it happen,” he said.
Kelley said she was unaware of this stance and that no one from CHWB reached out to The Good Stuff’s members.
“That’s all well and good, but if you don’t tell people that they can come, people don’t think they can come,” she said.
Kelley is part of a preliminary effort to create a new positive sexuality club, which she said will be called “Sex-Cetera.”
“We’re thinking about how we can do it again next semester, but we’re also thinking about all ways in which it’s going to be different,” she said. “We don’t have a fountain of knowledge at our fingertips or sitting next to us in a circle.”
While The Good Stuff was always peerled, Living Well staff like Emerson would sit in on meetings and provide expertise on certain topics, Kelley said. This time
around, it will be completely student-run, she said.
“We’re doing this group again,” Kelley said. “We’re trying, but we’re not collaborating with Living Well anymore because, how would we know? All of the staff we knew are gone.”
The June reorganization left many positions vacant within CHWB and the department is still figuring out the best way to communicate with students, Shasberger said.
“My job is communication, so I guess that’s kind of on me,” she said.
Ray Bauman, a senior and former member of The Good Stuff, said he was frustrated with the response from CHWB.
“There’s a lot of stigma around [sex] education and talking about that kind of stuff openly,” Bauman said. “That can make it a lot harder for students to reach out and say ‘I need support with this, I need a community where we can talk about this openly.’”
Bauman said he hasn’t stepped foot in Living Well this semester.
“It was so much made by the staff that I knew and was comfortable being around,” he said. “I don’t really feel the need to check out their new programming.”
As part of the reorganization, CHWB is providing more sexual health care through clinical services, Reilly said. Sexual pleasure is important from a clinical care standpoint, said Sharon Glezen, a physician at Student Health Services.
The question is especially pertinent for transgender people, as certain medications can significantly affect sexual function, Glezen said. SHS has not shifted their po-
sition on gender-affirming healthcare services since the Living Well shakeup in June, she said.
“Every year we’re seeing more and more students who are interested in accessing gender-affirming care,” she said. “I think that UVM is known as a place where that care can happen, and that makes me proud.”
Glezen said that SHS, Counseling and Psychiatry Services and the Office of Equal Opportunity would all work to provide sexual health services to students. None could speak towards sexual pleasure as well as Emerson, she said.
With the June cuts, the Living Well community not only lost institutional knowledge but a budding community of sex educators, Kelley said.
“We didn’t even always talk about sexed,” Kelley said. “Jenna was a broader mentor and inspiration than that, and the relationship [with Living Well] has changed. She was leading wildly successful programs while building community.”
We don’t have a fountain of knowledge at our fingertips or sitting next to us in a circle.
SEX AND THE CYNIC
BY SARAH KOEGLER
It’s a Friday night, the music is blasting so loud that it starts to feel like an internal thought and the lights start to move a little faster than before.
ly making out with your besties while the girl you are going home with is getting your jackets crosses that line.
You stop dancing and look at your friend; her hair is flowing with the beat.
You’ve never really looked at her for long enough to realize how pretty she is. Her eyes, her lips, her hair—wait! She’s your best friend, and you’re not supposed to be thinking this way.
You shake your head to wake yourself up, push the thought down and continue with your night.
We are always told that college is a place of self-exploration, a time to truly figure out who you are and what you want to be.
You find yourself having many late nights and meeting some of the best people.
Sometimes though, these late nights with your new best friends can become confusing when they lean in for a kiss in the middle of the bar or a spark goes off as they grab your hand, pulling you through the crowd.
You think to yourself, “it must just be the alcohol speaking.”
But you know, deep down, that you are lying to yourself.
Friendships in college are weird. There is such a gray area when it comes to where the boundaries of friendship really lie.
I’ve seen people of all sexualities grab their friends in the middle of parties and start completely making out with them.
One time my friend, let’s call her Greta, and this girl, who can be named Ellyn, were going home together after a night out. While Greta went to grab their jackets, and Ellyn said goodbye to her friends by grabbing one of them and making out with them.
My friends and I had our jaws on the floor as Greta returned not knowing what had just happened.
We then joked the rest of the night asking, “woah, is that how we are supposed to say goodbye to each other?”
Our joke brings up the whole definition of friendship and begs the question of if there is really a line at all.
I am not trying to discourage intimacy between friends, but, personally, complete-
These relationships have been coined as “homoerotic friendships,” the idea of having these sexual or romantic interactions with your friends but never truly acknowledging it.
I’ve lived through a couple of these and they can be fun. Having someone to flirt with that you are comfortable around and being able to see them in a romantic and friendly way can be nice.
But this can also be terrifying as you find yourself falling for someone who you see as your best friend.
You don’t want to lose them, and you don’t want to scare them or have them hate you. If you make a move, they could feel uncomfortable and completely leave you.
I truly believe that once you act on these homoerotic “friendship” urges it is no longer a friendship.
Acting on these feelings come at higher risk the moment you lean in for a kiss or you hold each other a little longer feeling each other’s heart rates increase with each extra second.
Again, I’m not hating on intimate friendships: the love between someone and their best friend is more valuable than any relationship you will ever be in.
But the moment this friendship intimacy crosses into the gray area you have to decide what you want.
This “friend” is either your future maid of honor or the person you can’t invite to the wedding because you cannot look into the eyes of your fiancé while your friend stares at you longingly, day dreaming of if there was anything at all.
Friendships are weird. Lines get crossed and feelings get tangled.
But in the end, if you feel comfortable enough being that vulnerable with your bestie, you two can definitely get over that one night you deem as one of the most electric nights of your life.
Or maybe, if you think about it that way, you need to rethink if you are really friends at all.
Photo Illustration by Alex Strand
A (SEX) CULT CLASSIC
(Ku)bricked up
BY ERIKA TALLY
When one Googles “best movies about sex,” Stanley Kubrick’s 1999 film “Eyes Wide Shut” is almost always the top recommendation. I decided to re-enter my pretentious movie critic phase with this film about desire, monogamy and sex cults.
As a warning to potential viewers, this movie does contain graphic sexual content. I made sure to give my roommate a headsup, in case she happened to take a glance.
“If you see anything on my screen, it’s not what you think it is,” I warned her.
The film centers around Dr. Bill Harford, played by Tom Cruise, and his wife Alice Harford, played by Nicole Kidman.
After learning of his wife’s previous desire to have an extramarital affair, Bill Harford becomes obsessed with experiencing a sexual affair for himself.
After wandering the midnight streets like a middle-aged Holden Caulfield, Bill finds himself in a masquerade mask and cloak at the meeting of a secret sex cult, accompanied by many of society’s elites— turns out Tom Cruise didn’t have to act at all.
While sex is a central theme in the film, the message is one of power, rather than liberation. Similarly, “Eyes Wide Shut” is intended to analyze the depravity of human sexual desire.
The role of societal elites in the perpetuation of this sexual depravity is prominently featured. The allowance of these sexually
abusive exploits comes from the immunity granted to the elite by the power of the institution to protect its own.
The upper class keeps their “eyes wide shut” to the immorality around them. Continued complacency allows those in power to reap the benefits of corruption, and retain their control.
A sexual power dynamic also plays a role in the Harfords’ marriage, following Alice’s confession of lust after which Bill sets out on his own to fulfill his desire for an extramarital encounter.
I sympathize with Bill’s struggle as I, too, would be utterly distraught if Nicole Kidman left me, both onscreen and off.
However, it seems as if his desire isn’t sexual, as Bill previously declined sexual offers from women. Instead, he seems to be upset that his wife has thoughts that are only socially associated with men, such as infidelity and meaningless hookups.
The movie has flaws in its representation of female sexuality and lust. Even after Alice reveals that she thought about giving up everything for another man, including her daughter, her confession is replaced by a focus on Bill’s revenge.
It is an unfortunate direction to take, as this could’ve been an interesting way to dissect female sexual depravity and its contradiction to the ideals of motherhood.
Meanwhile, Bill’s desire for sex is tied to the deflation of his ego as well, feeling as if
he cannot satisfy his wife, especially after she reveals the contents of a dream she had about sexually humiliating him.
After recovering from said nightmare, Alice makes a concerning statement to Bill as he tries to comfort her.
“No dream is ever just a dream,” she said.
Thus, “Eyes Wide Shut” has a dual meaning: one of complacency, and one of enlightenment. Alice implies that when our eyes are shut, like in dreams, we are immune to judgment and made aware of the truths behind our waking thoughts.
After this climactic scene, the movie’s resolution felt rushed. One of the final scenes involves a fellow party-goer explaining the alleged truth to Bill, which ties up all loose ends, leaving little to the viewer’s interpretation.
“Eyes Wide Shut” offers a critical view of how sex is intertwined in power structures, both on an institutional and domestic level. Despite this, the film seems to promote the practice of monogamy, using stability and family as a tradeoff for sex and debauchery.
Kubrick’s final film examines the corrupting power of sex and the depths of human perversion. He asks viewers to contemplate opening their eyes to reality, but are we ready for what might be found?
THE RIGHT TO SPIT
CRIMINALIZATION OF SPIT THROUGH TIME
BY KENDALL EVANS
The average human produces 0.3-0.4 milliliters of spit per minute, totaling 0.5-1.5 liters per day, according to the Journal of Medicine and Life. That’s roughly a 32-ounce Hydro Flask full of spit every single day.
Saliva production is not something the average person has on their mind, however, it has played a vital role in the development of societal hierarchies.
Early examples of the human relationship with spit occur in the best-selling book of all time, the Christian Bible. In Mark 8:23, Jesus spits directly onto the eyes of a blind man to cure his disability. This behavior continues in John 9:6 when he uses his spit to make an omnipotent clay that cures another man of his blindness.
The use of spit as a healing compound was common practice through the second millennium. Figures such as Albert the Great, Vespasian and English medical author Nicholas Robinson praised spit for its medicinal virtues, according to an Oct. 26, 2021 article by the MIT Press Reader.
However, spit became a frequent concern in the late 20th century with the rise of the AIDS epidemic.
Even though HIV cannot be transmitted through saliva and there has never been a case of HIV transmittance through spit, many states label the oral secretion of an HIV-positive person as a lethal weapon, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
In 2008, an unhoused Dallas man, Willie Campbell, got into an altercation with police after they tried to forcibly remove him from outside of a building, according to a May 16, 2008 article by the New York Times. He then stood trial for spitting on the officer and taunting him with his HIV-positive status.
None of the officers contracted HIV or AIDS, yet Campbell faced a 35-year prison sentence for harassing a public servant with a lethal weapon.
Texas public health enforcers also have the right to use measures of control on persons who are STI-positive, according to the Center for HIV Law and Policy.
“Control measures include, but are not limited to, chemoprophylaxis, detention, disinfection, restriction, isolation, and quarantine,” states the Center for HIV Law and Policy’s sourcebook.
The rise in criminalization and fear surrounding bodily fluids skyrocketed during the AIDS crisis. Even the phrase “bodily fluids” became commonplace from 1981 to 2017, according to Google search trends.
Minneapolis faced backlash in 2015 when a study conducted by the ACLU showed that Black people were 8.6 times more likely to be arrested than white people. This data is compounded by the fact that Black people are more likely to be arrested for breaking a city ordinance outlawing lurking and spitting on the ground within city limits, according to the MinnPost.
The Minneapolis City Council repealed this law after a council-wide vote in 2015, according to CBS News.
The forcible use of mesh hoods placed over people’s heads to keep them from spitting, also known as spit hoods, by police and military personnel is not a new concept.
The use of spit hoods with the general public has been harshly criticized by scholars and social justice advocates.
“A relic of slavery, they are inhumane and often deadly,” stated Leslie Reagan, professor at the University of Illinois in a March 4, 2021 article published by Public Seminar.
Daniel Prude died of suffocation due to the use of spit hoods. While visiting Rochester, N.Y., Prude experienced a mental health emergency. His brother called 911 in hopes of getting help, but it ultimately led to Prude’s suffocation and death from the use of a spit hood employed by police, according to the New York Times.
Prude was a 41-year-old Black man. None of the officers involved were found criminally liable, according to an Oct. 6 2022 article by ABC News.
Although spit is weaponized, racialized and criminalized in systems of power, its sexualized connotation has recently taken the hot seat in the media. Spit is a common topic in the bedroom, but the freedom to
Photo Illustration by Alex Strand
express, discuss and commune around spit is awarded in very specific circumstances.
“SpitTok” is becoming an increasingly popular subgroup within the app TikTok. This hashtag will bring you to a plethora of spit kink videos where people can be seen spitting at or on the camera.
This phenomenon was sensationalized further by Hailey Welch, also known as “Hawk Tuah Girl.” Welch was approached on the street by TikTokers Tim and Dee TV who asked her, “What’s one move in bed that makes a man go crazy every time?”
When delving into the territory of spit there is one dominant theme: it is a straight, white space.
Spit is divisive in and of itself. However, the reason there is such disparity in perceptions of spit is the reality that the person who is doing the spitting determines the reaction to the spit.
During a school field trip in 2019, a
The rush to excuse the student of racism instead of suspecting wrongdoing exists only in the ecosystem of whiteness. This is not a privilege awarded to minorities.
Analyzing the criminalization of spit and spit in the media allows us to see the polarizing ends of the spectrum. The people who suffer under laws and ordinances policing spit are predominantly Black, HIV-positive or mentally ill, while the people who take up a majority of the spit-positive space are white and straight.
Since spit has become the poster child of soft kinks, its perception has transformed.
“You gotta give ’em that ‘hawk tuah’ and spit on that thang,” said Welch, referencing the use of spit. Her response went viral almost immediately.
Since spit has become the poster child of soft kinks, its perception has transformed. Instead of a lethal weapon, spit is now seen as a unifying component of the sex-positive community, a component that is often used to introduce people to the sex-positive space, according to an Oct. 10, 2022 article by Vice.
Shelton, Conn. middle-schooler spit on a Black patron at the Smithsonian’s National Museum of Black History and Culture, according to an Oct. 14, 2019 article by Fox Atlanta.
Dina Marks, the principal of Shelton Intermediate School, responded to the incident on social media.
“I believe, [it was] not racially motivated against that person,” Marks stated in a now-deleted tweet.
The whitewashing, even gentrification, of spit is a story that has played out many times before but flew under the radar of the general public. When white, straight people began to use spit in a much more public way on social media, they championed something that has historically been weaponized against minorities.
The duality of spit is not a choice—it contains predetermined categories. Depending on which category you fall into, spit can either be empowering or a deadly tool employed by systems of power.
pain, pleasure and pressure:
THE RISE OF ROUGH SEX
BY NORA SISSENICH AND LILIANA MEFFORD
In the midst of a sexual recession, young adults are having rougher sex than ever before.
“Sex has not always been this rough,” said Debby Herbenick, professor at the Indiana University School of Public Health and the director of IU’s Center for Sexual Health Promotion. “To our knowledge, we’ve never had a time in history where there’s been this level of these kinds of practices.”
Since 2008, Herbenick and her colleagues have been conducting large-scale, nationally representative surveys on sexual behavior in the U.S. Around 2015, they began to see a noticeable change in these behaviors, she said.
“I was getting a lot more questions from my college students about various rough sex practices, but especially choking,” Herbenick said.
Choking, a colloquial term for practices ranging from a hand placed around the neck to sexual strangulation, has entered the sexual mainstream alongside many other rougher sex practices.
A 2022 survey of over 4,200 U.S. undergraduate and graduate students conducted by Herbenick and her colleagues found that 40% of participants had been choked during sex, with significantly more women, transgender and nonbinary students re-
porting the experience.
Of these students, 92.1% reported that this choking was consensual, and 41.1% reported it being “very pleasurable,” though men were significantly less likely to report being choked as pleasurable.
Though the term “rough sex” is prevalent, its exact definition is murky. Generally, acts like choking, slapping and spanking fall under this umbrella, but there is little consensus among young people, Herbenick said.
Differing understandings of rough sex may cause problems during sexual encounters, and can sometimes leave people feeling harmed if sex is rougher than anticipated, she said.
In a survey of 350 UVM students conducted by the Cynic, over three-fourths indicated that they had partaken in sex they would describe as rough, including but not limited to choking, slapping and hitting.
“I find that with rougher sex I’m able to go to a more mindful spot and be present,” said an anonymous first-year. “Some people consider it a form of meditation.”
Much of why people enjoy rough sex or have specific fetishes is deeply psychological, said junior Clementine Golden, who chose to use a first name pseudonym to protect her privacy.
“When you’re hit your body is releasing
adrenaline which can so easily be experienced as pleasure,” she said. “When you’re being hit over and over while having sex you’re not going to be feeling pain, you’re going to be feeling a type of pleasure.”
Having one’s partner relinquish control can also be a turn-on, said an anonymous first-year.
“I like to feel dominating,” he said. “But anything I’m doing in bed is only really pleasurable for me if it’s making the other person feel good. It’s hot.”
Rougher sex makes power exchanges that exist in any sexual encounter overt, such as patriarchy and gaps in physical strength or experience, said Elliot Ruggles, sexual violence prevention and education coordinator at UVM.
One anonymous junior studying gender, sexuality and women’s studies sees her experiences with rough sex as existing in a patriarchal context.
“I’ve always thought of sex as a performance, but that seemed to be more with my heterosexual experiences where I’m playing a role,” she said. “I don’t think that anything can exist not under the context of patriarchy.”
During one rougher sexual experience with a man, the anonymous junior felt that he was objectifying her without considering her comfort level and interests, she said.
Photo
Illustrations by Alex Strand
“I wanted to engage in the play of it but I couldn’t get past the fact that he didn’t really see me as a person,” she said.
While the encounter left her feeling uneasy about the patriarchal dynamics of rough sex, she still feels drawn to exploring it, she said.
“It’s kind of funny being a GSWS major because I see this patriarchal hierarchy around me and I still want to experiment with it,” she said.
While people can use sex to play with or push back against societal power dynamics, Herbenick hopes people continue to question the ways that mainstream rough sex enforces gendered expectations, she said.
“The mainstream version of rough sex, people are just reproducing traditional gender roles, where men are dominant and women are submissive,” Herbenick said.
In the survey by the Cynic, 27.7% of respondents indicated that they had felt pressured to engage in or receive “rough” sex acts that they were uncomfortable with.
Golden first got involved with BDSM accidentally when she was around 13 years old as a result of her experience growing up as a transgender woman, she said.
“It started because I was trying to find ways to experience femininity without actually having to be a woman,” she said. “It was obviously, at the time, very non-consensual.”
Golden recognizes that her experiences fundamentally changed the way she thinks about sex in adulthood, she said.
“There’s a lot of people who will co-opt BDSM and rougher sex just to abuse people,” she said.
Many attribute this rise in rougher sex practices to online porn.
“Having grown up as a man, hearing how men talk about sex and the porn that they watch, I think that a lot of it has to do with how rough porn is,” Golden said.
For most college students, pornography is their first and primary sexual educator. In the age of online porn, this content is increasingly violent, as online algorithms prioritize rougher and more extreme sexual content to keep viewers engaged, said Ruggles.
While many men who have sex with women report that they enjoy choking their female partners, some feel uncomfortable doing so. The anonymous first-year shared that some of his male friends feel an implicit pressure to be rougher with their partners during sex.
“If you’re a guy who’s trying to have sex and this girl is letting you have sex with her, and she asks you to do something, I think guys would interpret it to be ‘you’re a bitch if you don’t do it,’” he said. “I would be embarrassed to be squeamish about it.”
Online discussion of rougher sex sometimes stigmatizes men who are uninterested in choking women during sex, describing them as weak or “vanilla,” according to a Sept. 1 article from the Guardian.
The majority of people engaging in sexual choking are unaware of the risks, Herbenick said.
“It can affect people’s brains without them realizing it,” Herbenick said. “They are depriving the brain of oxygen and blood flow that has glucose and other nutrients, and doing that many times in their sexual lives.”
These cumulative harms are more pronounced if someone experiences dizziness or vision changes while being choked. People with a history of seizures and heart or thyroid problems should avoid the behavior, she said.
If students still decide to engage in sexual choking, there are steps that can be taken to mitigate risk. Choking with lighter pressure, using a single hand instead of objects such as a belt and avoiding rough sex when intoxicated can all reduce the risk of serious harm, Herbenick said.
Being more open and talking about sex with trusted friends can also be very productive, said sophomore Scout Kennon.
“Sex is becoming a much less hidden thing,” Kennon said. “A lot more people are talking about it, having conversations about it. I think that kind of comfortability surrounding sex is allowing people to explore what they want to do and also what they derive pleasure from.”
Above all, Herbenick stressed the importance of thorough consent discussion with partners, while taking safety into account.
“There’s nothing wrong with diverse sexual practices, and there’s also nothing wrong with gentle sexual practices, and you get to decide with your partner what works for you,” Herbenick said.
Students emphasized the necessity of continuing to check in with partners before and during sex.
“You have to continually have these conversations and keep making sure that your partner is comfortable and there is consent in everything that you’re doing,” Kennon said.
DIRTY TALK: “meaningless” and its implications
BY MAYA SURRENTI
Perhaps it’s the English major in me that needs to know a word’s whispered implications, but recently I’ve been fascinated by the categorization of casual sex as “meaningless.”
College cultures tend to adhere to the stereotype that casual sex is insignificant, according to a Feb. 22, 2022 article in Medical News Today.
The Vermont Cynic has run pieces such as “Hookup culture is ruining our idea of sex” and “Don’t participate in hookup culture,” that focus on the pitfalls of casual sex’s perceived triviality.
Other college newspapers, like The Daily Princetonian’s article “The ‘fun’ model just isn’t sustainable: a plea against hookup culture,” similarly attest to casual sex’s lack of “meaningful” connection.
The problem with “meaningless” or “insignificant” is how these two words perpetuate a single, homogenous narrative about what gives sex meaning.
This creates an exclusionary, heteronormative definition of important sex, said Jenna Emerson, a part-time adjunct faculty in human development and family science at UVM.
“Our society, researchers, writers, politicians have defined what is the most meaningful sex [...] and it is cisgender, heterosexual, within marriage to procreate,” Emerson said.
She said that no sex is without meaning, though that meaning is determined by each individual’s experience.
If one claims that casual sex is devoid of meaning, committed sex becomes the only meaningful act. For women, meaningful sex has traditionally been associated with marriage.
“There has been a sexual permissiveness
for men outside of marriage, but not for women,” Emerson said.
Women’s sexual freedom has historically been restricted in the institution of sex. Despite a culture of sexual liberation, the labeling of casual sex as “meaningless” condemns women’s engagement in hookups.
Women should refrain from engaging in casual sex because women’s brains aren’t built for low-commitment sex, according to an April 30, 2022 article in Psychology Today.
The article cited a study that investigated how cisgender men and women experience casual sex. It found that women were more likely than men to feel guilt and emptiness after a casual hookup.
Oxytocin, colloquially known as the “cuddle hormone,” is released during sexual activity and promotes well-being, according to a June 13, 2023 article in Harvard Health Publishing.
The Psychology Today article uses cisgender women’s higher production of oxytocin to claim that they get more emotionally attached in sexual encounters.
“Because women’s brains release so much more oxytocin than men’s brains [during sex], women feel these negative effects of casual hookup,” the authors stated.
The article recommends that women, in order to respect their nature and bodies, adhere to traditional values of restricting sexual interactions.
“[This] view respects a woman’s natural inclination to place more value on sexual intimacy than men do,” stated the authors.
Couched in a scientific study, quotes such as “a woman’s natural inclination” expose the misogynistic bias of the Psychology Today article.
The citation of this misleading article in
The Daily Princetonian piece highlights the role of sexist narratives in defining casual sex as “meaningless,” thus limiting women’s sexual autonomy on college campuses through antiquated gender roles.
The concept that casual sex is meaningless impacts women’s sexual freedom across sexualities. Talia Mcmahon, a junior at UVM, talked about how the stereotypes around women’s perceived emotional inclination impact the queer community.
“Honestly, I don’t have a similar experience, but a lot of my roommates and people I know who like men and women, definitely would prefer men for a one-night stand,” Mcmahon said.
The idea that women are naturally disposed to “meaningful” sex—suggesting sex in a committed relationship—subconsciously manifests in the queer community.
“There is the stereotype that lesbians don’t just hookup once, that they U-Haul and it’s never as simple as hooking up once,” Mcmahon said.
If casual sex is meaningless and the sex women engage has to be meaningful, then women are excluded from the world of flings.
The meaning behind “meaningless” exposes language’s function as both expressive and oppressive—just some food for thought for your next pillow talk.
Photo Illustrations by Annalisa Madonia, Alex Strand and Lucy Delaplane
BY MACKENZIE BENDER
Question 1
You are at a bar with your friends; an attractive person comes over to you and asks for your number. How do you react?
a) Give them your number and spend time chit-chatting casually.
b) Start flirting and maybe go home with them if the vibe is right.
c) Threaten to pepper spray them and leave.
Question 2
Do you feel that in order to have a sexual relationship you need to have a deep, personal connection first?
a) Yes, it is extremely important to me.
b) It is not important. c) I don’t know.
Question 3
What is the most important part of a relationship?
a) Loving the person you are with.
b) Sexual tension.
c) How your Instagram will look when you post them.
Question 4
You get into a fight with your best friend and they say they don’t want to be friends with you anymore. How do you react?
a) You apologize and explain
why you think you should stay friends, communicating the problems in your friendship to hope fully work things out.
b) You give them space and let them reach back out to you if they want to.
c) You have a screaming match with them and completely cut them off.
Question
5
When you are at the start of a talking stage with someone, how often do catch yourself thinking about this person?
a) Not super often at first, but as the talking stage gets more and more serious, I think about them a lot, and I could picture myself in a relationship with them.
b) Only when I’m bored or horny.
c) All the time: it clouds my judgment and they become the only thing I think about until they say one thing that gives me the “ick” and then I stop thinking about them all together.
Question 6
You see the person you have just recently started talking to out in public and they are flirting with another person. How do you react?
a) I don’t say anything then, but I have a conversation with them later on and ask about their goals for the relationship. I end things if they are different from my expectations.
b) We aren’t exclusive so I don’t say or do anything.
c) I freak out and cause a scene right then and there.
Question 7
The person you are talking to tells you they are going to be moving away for an extend-
ed period of time. How do you react?
a) Stay with them and try to make long-distance work.
b) End things with them before they leave.
c) Drop everything and move with them.
Question 8
What is your zodiac sign?
a) Aries, Gemini, Libra or Capricorn.
b) Leo, Taurus, Sagittarius or Aquarius.
c) Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio or Pisces.
Count up your score:
Mostly A: Serious relationship
It is important for you to show love and affection to your romantic and platonic relationships and you are unable to do that with a “situationship” or something casual. You want something worthwhile where both you and your partner can grow as people and you are comfortable with a longterm commitment.
Mostly B: Something casual
You want fun and excitement without a long-term commitment. You are able to be on your own in a comfortable way but also enjoy meeting new people and just having fun. You don’t get attached and you should find people with similar ideals so you don’t lead anyone on. Make sure to communicate with people that you aren’t looking for anything serious.
Mostly C: Stay single for a while
You don’t really know what you are looking for in a relationship and that can sometimes lead to disappointment. Focus on yourself and really figure out the things you are looking for before jumping into a relationship or situationship. Reflect on your emotions and spend time building your friendships.
can get you heavily discount ed weed. Actually, no—FREE weed. He’s probably not worth your time if he can’t deliver on that, unless you have a crazy high tolerance for painfully average shroom stories. If and when you catch the ick, make sure to take a little something for yourself on the way out.
Ski Bum - This man is either wearing the most expensive gear on the market or sweatpants from high school that are so short they come with a flash flood warning—no in-between. Be cautious of potential ski dates: he will drag you through the trees, but at least he will give you a beer and a hot dog in the parking lot afterward.
Film Major - Or even worse, film minor—equally as pretentious with slightly less authority. Either way, make sure you have your movie suggestion on lock before he comes over or risk being torn to shreds because you picked the wrong Scorsese film. To assert your dominance, just start throwing random terms like “cinéma vérité” and “iconography” around and hope for the best.
one might expect, but as a UVM student, you already knew that. This man is equally as pretentious as the film major, so before you even mention a band in his presence, make sure you can name five songs.
Slackliner - If man buns are your thing, you do you. But good luck trying to make plans with him between camping trips, climbing sessions with the fellas and selling homemade yerba outside of Howe. Slack is a full-time gig.
Business Bro - He certainly won’t contribute to your presentation when he’s randomly assigned to your group project, but don’t worry, he also won’t contribute in bed. But if he goes to those Grossman networking events, I say lock it down.
Short King - Although his height may give him a unique perspective, don’t be fooled— he is just as likely to play you as the normal-sized ones, potentially worse.
Woke King - He will explain the gender dynamics of your sexual encounter while it’s happening and then turn around and explain how it’s actually very feminist of him to not go down on you. Be careful: even if you aren’t seeking them out, they will try to lure you into a debate in the back of Sputies.
Gym Bro - If you don’t have Gymshark in your closet, honestly pack it up. He isn’t looking for a relationship, just a spotter. Maybe if you’re lucky, he will make you a nice white rice and unseasoned chicken dinner paired with a Peach Vibe Celsius—but hey, better than nothing I guess.
Frat Dude - It’s never a great look when you have to corral your boyfriend who drank his way down to three brain cells and has subsequently forgotten your name. But hey, you gotta do what you gotta do to secure those party tickets for your crew. Just make sure he’s handcuffed to you and only you for champagne and shackles.
THE GREAT GEN
BY LUCAS MARTINEAU
Boys will be boys, female rage burns—and Gen Z splits in two.
Among young voters, women favored Harris by 26 points more than men—a political gender gap even wider than our generational divide with Boomers, according to the 2024 NBC News Exit Polls.
In South Korea, the divide is even starker, with an ideological separation between young men and women over 50 points, according to a Jan. 26 Financial Times article.
South Korean radical feminists have launched the “4B” movement in response to this rise in misogyny, rejecting marriage, “bihon;” childbirth, “bichulsan;” dating men, “biyeonae;” and having sex with men, “bisekseu,” according to a Nov. 13 CNN article.
Google trends show that 4B peaked in search volume immediately following the U.S. election.
South Korea now has the lowest global birth rate at 0.78 births per mother, according to a March 19, 2023 NPR article.
Before the 2024 Election, the U.S. seemed unlikely to replicate this movement. In 2016 and 2020, late-Millennial and Gen Z men seemed to be turning into staunch progressives, locking arms with our peers in mass school walkouts for climate justice and against gun violence.
In 2024, however, Trump effectively targeted the alternative media landscape of Gen Z men to propose policies geared towards them—no tax on Zyns—all while conducting interviews with figures like Adin Ross, Logan Paul, Theo Von and the Nelk Boys, according to an Aug. 5 NBC article.
Many of these internet personalities live stream on Kick, a site with a nearly 75% male audience, with almost 40% of users being under 24, according to Similarweb’s October Website Traffic Analytics Information.
The Harris campaign’s attempt to convert moderate Republicans—evident in their “Country over Party” messaging and promise to give them a seat at the table— completely and utterly failed as Harris courted even less of the conservative vote than Biden in 2020, according to the 2024 NBC News Exit Poll.
Hindsight might end up being 20/24:
it’s clear the Harris campaign focused too much on rallies with Liz Cheney and too little on young people—especially young men—other than a few platitudes about loving Gen Z and our impatience.
Brat messaging? Cringe. “We Are Not Going Back?” Too radical. Joe Rogan interview? Too risky.
Joe Rogan’s three interviews with Donald Trump, JD Vance and Elon Musk respectively have garnered a combined total of over 80million views.
Out of the 10 most watched live streamers who covered the election, nine of them were conservative, including the likes of Steven Crowder, Charlie Kirk and Tucker Carlson; only prominent leftist Hasan Piker stood out with a different perspective, according to a Nov. 6 StreamCharts article.
Part of this trend of gender polarization is due to the rise of the “manosphere:” a right-wing collection of online communities promoting mostly-toxic masculinity and spreading incel ideology, according to a Feb. 1 Business Insider article.
“Incels,” short for involuntary celibates, form an online subculture of mostly young, white men that believe that the male loneliness epidemic is a result of the advancement of women through feminism, according to a Mar. 16, 2023 CNN article.
They also believe that all women are vapid self-obsessed wenches attracted to status, wealth and physique, all of which they, the incels, were genetically predisposed not to have.
The popularization of Gen Z slang like “chads,” “sigma males,” “mogging,” “mewing” and “looksmaxxing” have their origins in incel forum boards on 4chan.
Some incels take the “blackpill:” they accept they will never find true love because they have a weak chin, or a poor canthal tilt or whatever. Social media matches these vulnerable men with communities full of like-minded individuals—the perfect anti-feminist echo chamber. Blackpilling is not a joke though: in 2014, Elliot Rodger killed six people and injured 14 in an act of misogynistic terrorism, according to a Apr. 25, 2018 BBC article.
A large part of his 141-page manifesto was dedicated to his hatred of women that
Z GENDER GAP
he ascribed to involuntary celibacy.
Where other people celebrate women getting more college degrees than men for the first time, or out-earning young men in certain cities, incels see considerable proof of a misandrist society that has forgotten and abandoned them.
Most young Trump-supporting men are not incels, but many have bought into his promise of a future where young white men like them are always celebrated and never denigrated.
As a Gen Z man who watched this transformation firsthand, I can tell you it didn’t happen overnight. It happened podcast by podcast, stream by stream, meme by meme, all while Democrats stayed stuck in traditional media and ineffective messaging.
A common manosphere proverb is that bad times make strong men, who make good times which create weak men, who bring about the bad times all over again.
I fear the Trump-supporting men are the weak ones for putting the price of eggs over the well-being of their mothers, sisters and daughters.
With many women horrified at the potential loss of bodily autonomy faced under another Trump administration, incels jumped on the opportunity for some trolling.
White nationalist and incel Nick Fuentes, who publicly had dinner with Donald Trump and Kanye West in 2022, celebrated the results of the election by tweeting “Your body, my choice. Forever,” according to a Nov. 5 Tweet with 96 million impressions.
Middle school boys are already taunting their female classmates with this slogan, according to a Nov. 13 CNN article. There’s no doubt many of them are avid Andrew Tate watchers, too.
Democrats can’t just write off young men as lost to the right.
They need a strategy that speaks to male anxieties without feeding into misogyny— one that offers economic hope and social belonging without scapegoating women or other marginalized communities.
THE SEC RET LIFE OF A
BY OLIVIA LANGLAN
I didn’t get my period until the summer before college. With these credentials alone, I basically wrote the handbook on late blooming.
Stalled by the effects of a restrictive eating disorder and the demanding sport of distance running, my body simply was not getting enough calories to undergo a normal puberty.
My lack of estrogen caused an aversion to anything sexual or romantic. Before the age of 18, I had never been sexually, physically or emotionally attracted to another person.
I was a prude by circumstance, labeled innocent and wholesome by my more sexually advanced friends. They gushed about boys and kisses while I vomited internally.
I was past the point of feeling behind or girlish in comparison. I had reached a conclusion: my lack of menstruation and sexual development would leave me prepubescent for the rest of my days.
My first period marked the start of a puberty that unfolded rapidly. Six months later, my former bras fit like doll clothing on my changed body.
This new body was foreign, its fat deposits and functions were something I had no desire to let another person in on. These new features—hips and tits—communicated my physical womanhood, but mentally I wasn’t even close.
I felt like an awkward 13-year-old girl no longer wearing her training bra, but I was actually 19—I was hundreds of miles away from home, possessed the ability to vote and no longer had to text my parents when I was getting home.
Nothing could have prepared me socially or medically for this shift.
My college friends had no idea that my body constantly felt like a fresh wound. My doctors now saw me as “normal” after years of not knowing what to do with my lack of development.
With puberty came unwanted and inappropriate attention. Catcalls fueled my shame, linking boobs with accidental seductiveness and an ass with unintentional sleaziness.
Sexuality was not an area of confidence for a pubescent 19-year-old.
The final stages of my eating disorder recovery and the humiliation I felt around this newfound womanhood intersected, setting aflame a new kind of body dysmorphia and self-hatred.
I fumbled around attractive people, choking on my words with the bashfulness of a middle schooler.
During my freshman year, I experimented with clothes and makeup like a 13-yearold, trying out different colors and cuts. I cringe at my novice eyeliner skills and some of my first-year fashion choices. Honestly, though, it’s all par for the course.
19YEAROLD PRE TEEN
Since my hormonally tumultuous first year of college, time has healed most of these insecurities.
This past summer before my junior year was the first time I felt confident enough to put myself out there.
Though I quickly realized dating apps were not the place for me, I actually gained a lot from the experience. The apps that had loomed over my head as an affirmation of desperation for a relationship turned out to be so unbelievably unserious.
At 21 years old, I can finally say that puberty is behind me. Physically and mentally, I’m past the awkwardness of those pubescent years of sexual and emotional development.
I allow myself to emanate beauty and sexiness, feeling like a woman in my state of mind.
I’ve become accustomed to the emotional roller coaster that is the menstrual cycle and have grown into my womanhood, officially leaving behind my teenage years— emotionally and intellectually.
I’ll never have the same experience of puberty as most of my friends but I wouldn’t trade my delayed puberty for a thing.
Lumped into the early college experience of newfound independence and endless self-discovery, my rapid sexual development and the throes of raging hormones were an essential part of becoming who I am today.
OPINION STAFF HOT TAKES: SEX
Sex is hot. I hope that’s something we can all agree on.
But that’s a pretty cold take. I mean, what’s hotter than sex?
Too Faced mascara might be Better than Sex—jury’s still out on that one—but it’s certainly not hotter. Nothing could possibly be hotter than sex.
Well, that is, except for the opinion staff’s steamiest takes on all things sex.
Olivia Langlan – Public displays of affection are perfectly fine
As long as clothes remain on and no one is having a public orgasm, PDA is acceptable in my book.
Love is lovely. Make out, smooch your boo in public or private.
Katerina Jerine – Scissoring is real With the prevalence of girl-on-girl action in pornography, a lot of people still don’t understand what sex is like between two girls.
This is especially relevant when it comes to scissoring—a lot of people seem to mis-
understand what it actually entails or don’t believe it happens at all.
Lucas Martineau – Gen Z has no rizz We will go extinct if we stay socially awkward pandemic screenagers forever.
Being “uncomfy” was the default state of life for most of our ancestors, so take a leap of faith and talk to the cute stranger in the corner at the party.
Your parents are already worried that they’ll never have grandkids.
Emma Dinsmore – I won’t fake it
Fun fact about me: I have never faked it for a man.
If you can’t navigate the anatomy, that’s on you. I won’t cater to your ego.
Caitlin Applebee – Sex is overrated I don’t care about sex. I’m probably asexual, but who needs another label. I’d rather just get high and listen to Alex G with my friends.
Ayelet Kaminski – Sex scenes are necessary in movies
I can’t believe I’m saying it, but our generation has become downright puritanical.
I often see my Gen Z peers complaining online about “unnecessary” nudity or sex in media. The body is reduced to a tool, only to be used when it “furthers the plot.”
People in real life are sometimes naked and sometimes have sex for no reason at all, believe it or not. Grow up.
Max Akom – More “bite,” less “bark” I suspect that if people stopped wasting their time talking about sex and just did it, we would probably have flying cars by now.
You, readers, are wasting your time right now. You don’t need to look to the opinion sexperts for entertainment during potential sex time.
Go fuck.
SEXY CROSSWORD
ACROSS
1. Bondage tool.
5. Under no influence.
6. “Come over,” to a frat bro.
7. Banned prostitution in 2009, the last state to do so, abbr.
8. What someone who identifies as a “top” may say.
10. A nonbinary pronoun DOWN
1. ___ sex, as detailed on page 7.
2. Precedes “-Gyn.”
3. How one may feel when they read this issue of the Cynic.
4. Great Lake to generally avoid skinny dipping in.
5. An important political tool, as explained on page five.
