Vermont Cynic Spring 2015 Issue 29

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Springfest attracts the crowd

When will the gym be empty?

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vtcynic.com

We d n e s d a y, A p r i l 2 9 , 2 0 1 5

Vo l u m e 1 3 1 I s s u e 2 9

MOLLY DUFF The Vermont Cynic The editorial board from spring 2015 welcomes you to UVM. See the full list of editors and their contact information on page 10.

A letter from the editor Cory Dawson

Welcome. You’ve made an excellent choice in coming to Vermont and to this University — and I’m thrilled you’ve picked up

Princeton Review ranks us as No. 18 in the country. Our alumni work at some dia organizations in the world. Yet, rankings and awards are secondary to the

telling their stories, their challenges and their triumphs. You can shed light

per you hold in your hand.

ing the truth. You will real-

something great.

word. I’d like to speak directly to the new students com-

write, shoot, design and edit

Like us on Facebook

plished when you hold that degree in your hands. You are lucky enough to go to a university where you have the opportunity to acnity a reality. Sincerely,

who challenge you. When I

T h e Ve r m o n t C y n i c

At the Cynic, you’ll have

ism. We’re rewarded every week by creating something

mont Cynic. dent newspaper, but we’re so much more than that.

ter.

Follow us on Instagram

@VERMONTCYNIC

and their aunt have told you this. But it’s true. What matters most is not your grades, not your internship experience and

F o l l o w u s o n Tw i t t e r

@ Ve r m o n t C y n i c

cynic@uvm.edu

Wa t c h C y n i c V i d e o

youtube.com/cynicvideo


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N ews

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 29, 2015

Campus to undergo construction Crime Log

The best of the

Natalie Williams

By Jill Vaglica Oct. 4, 2:10 p.m.

years.

guised in clown suits en-

being renovated, demolished or built starting this summer. — science, technology, engineering and mathematics —

a pumpkin, which was later -

medical center expansion, as Senior mechanical engineer-

suspects remain at large.

Oct. 5, 8:07 p.m.

is not really obvious or trans-

arrived at 109 S. Prospect distressed opossum. Someone noticed an opossum inside an animal and made the call. When the didn’t appear to be in disceeded to cut up an apple to ensure that the opossum ate.

Oct. 24, 4:18 p.m.

A student called police

another student exiting a car in the parking lot carryPolice services located the student inside Christie cohol. cation, the student present-

that are currently housed in Cook Physical Sciences and wsky said. ect is accessibility and collaboration, Rosowsky said. pus and that’s why we wanted

PHOTO COURTESY OF BOB VAUGHAN This map illustrates the three main construction projects coming together this summer. The challenge right now is coordinating the three projects to allow the easiest routes for student transportation.

but attached by a bridge, which is cool, and a bridge attached to

struction vehicles are pretty said.

bike storage and study rooms, she said. -

current dorms on CentralCampus and should house 699 people, said Annie Stevens, vice

ble, said Bob Vaughan, director ment.

Stevens said. “It’s two buildings,

pedestrian pathways and con-

as a result, such as the walkways “Walking is going to be the worst part, I try to take the bus guess walking the longer route

to, who has led the college since July 2012, is stepping down, placed by an interim dean be-

ty senate approved at their April 13 meeting.

mushrooms in the student’s 10.

March 26, midnight

Committee mentioned a possi-

The process is pretty clearly prescribed

arrived

David Rosowsky Provost

during an argument about body weight. One student pushed the known each other and had been calling each other names.

Student Ethics & Standards.

Cepeda-Benito said his successor will be chosen by a comtrators, students and alumni. laboration with the provost and -

he said in an email.

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Rosowsky said, who will help dean. “We have constructed this the interim that we think al-

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break, and the possible moving

selected.

police

change is good, but people will have to go through inconveniences to get there, but in the

the document stated. “For the most part, the changes were made to alleviate a -

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When

ier I think, but the worst part is

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Hannah Kearns News Editor

Student Ethics & Standards.

A student was caught with hallucinogenic drugs

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Leadership change Academic calendar changes in Arts & Sciences approved by faculty senate Pablo Murphy-Torres

Feb. 19, 7:10 p.m.

In response to these detours that will be in place over the

the academic calendar.

1

COURTESY PHOTO lows us to gather important in-

Rosowsky has met with

the meeting, and the changes “Changes are always made with a student’s interest in

ask what they would like to see in the new dean. that understands the current tion, is committed to diversity and inclusiveness and is able to lead, motivate and make decisions, according to a memo a wide background, because we’re dealing with arts and sciences, as these are two separat-

Adding a fall recess day to the second Monday of October

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Having a full week of classes after Thanksgiving and before finals

recess day, moving spring break rent exam and grading catalog policies.

“I had no idea who our dean

and as such should make student interaction and motivation

CALENDAR CHANGES

day will give our students the opportunity to engage with local politics and better align our spring break with other univerthe recommendation stated. day would be an “important cal-

3 Moving Spring break to not overlap with Town Meeting Day and to better align with other school’s spring breaks

4 Removal of reading days


N EWS

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 29, 2015

3

Campus could soon become tobacco-free -

Bryan O’Keefe

Free Steering Committee. campus, as well as reviewing the policy. versity Relations and Adminsteering committee, according and approval. ban that will begin August 1, press their comments and concerns on the report by June 1. Some students disagree with the potential tobacco ban. “I honestly don’t see how a why they want to ban smoking

thinks students should have the

It’s absolutely ridiculous that I can die for my country now, but I can’t light up a cigarette after staying up all night studying

themselves without a place to smoke on campus come next

Kelly Costello Sophomore new policy. “It’s absolutely ridiculous

COLE WANGSNESS The Vermont Cynic Student smoke cigarettes on the front steps of Bailey/Howe Library Oct. 15. The UVM Tobacco-Free Others support the smoking ban. -

now, but I can’t light up a ciga-

start in college that can last a don’t think banning tobacco on Necessary changes will be made

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tobacco ban, according to Sullivan’s email.

Costello said.

New class allows students to market for faculty inventors Bryan O’Keefe Students are getting a taste Business Administration.

RYAN THONRTON The Vermont Cynic

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the renewal of the Humanities Center in Williams Hall Feb. 20.

Humanities Center to be revitalized

opportunity to work with real

If I can provide students with the means to give back to their own school, thats pretty nice Professor Erik Monsen

they’re going to be bumping into to talk to – you can call them learn that inside the classroom,

versity community involved with the public community in Burlington, they said.

Caroline Alkire

strategies geared toward each RYAN THORNTON The Vermont Cynic Professor Ting Tan discusses the bamboo windmill built by him and his team of students as a lesson in entrepreneurship March 24. students to get a better underbusiness world, as well as deStudents in the course have order to enhance their under-

ed the products in the hallways

wind resistant grass, and it instructure that is more sustainpeople living in developing nathis turbine and the environworking with business students to develop a marketing strategy moting sustainability through

berger. put an end to these stereotypes through a complete revitaliza-

according to University Communications.

sen said. boo vertical wind turbine, cre-

about the apparent impractical-

-

ventions and research, in part due to what the students have For him, the most rewarding part about teaching this course dents working with new technologies.

-

in bachelor’s degrees in the humanities in a 2013 study done humanities program is still go-

ing. When Vivanco and Jenemann took over roles as codirectors two years ago, they decided to revamp the center’s phasizing a “strong interdisci-

program, they said. “We want to challenge the narrative about the humani-

“We believe strongly that a -

It seems as though the next

relevance in the world today, especially in a research university. What we want to say is that humanities are very much a part

gaged citizenry willing and able “Service-learning

typically -

“I’m putting my own twist on it: can provide students with the means to give back to their own

-

Sophomore studio art ma-

ites Center’s website stated. An initiative in progress is a plan to develop internship they said. Vivanco and Jenemann have

but didn’t know what programs the humanities.


ENTERPRISE

Out-of-state, out of mind How a barely-known law makes out-of-state tuition two and a half times higher

Dollars

300,000,000

tion of an advisory report on the state’s relationship with UVM. The report gave 12 recommendations; one of these was to change the 40 percent rule.

and a half times more to do this is “absurd.” In order to attend a second year, Holwerda needed to take out a $30,000 loan. “If [the money situation] worked out I would have been able to stay,” he said. I’m home now It is imperative that the 40 per- “However, and I’ve just got to make the cent rule be modified or the fu- most of my scenario.” The 40 percent rule ture viability of the university is caused out-of-state funding in jeopardy to make up the difference and this situation is “unsustainable,” according to the 2012 report to Gov. Shumlin 2012 report to Shumlin. Since the creation of the “It is imperative that the law, state funding channeled for the discount. The 40 per40 percent rule be modified to the UVM general fund cent rule is specific to UVM. Over the 56 years that or the future viability of the budget decreased from althis rule has been in place, university is in jeopardy,” most 60 percent of the fund to a little under 14 percent this has not happened. Now the report stated. The advisory board could this year, according to data out-of-state students are not identify another public given by Richard Cate, vice paying for it. college or university in the president of finance and U.S. which had any similar treasurer of UVM. “UNSUSTAINABLE” rules. While one must recogHolwerda believes that nize “how small Vermont In 2012, Gov. Peter the fact UVM has to charge is,” the university does wish Shumlin ordered the creaout-of-state students two they could receive more funding, said Cate. State Funding vs. UVM General Fund Budget “The bottom line is tuition is higher because the amount of money we get from the state is less,” he said.

400,000,000

Illustration by ALYSSA HANDELMAN

Sierra Connell is attending her second semester at UVM as an out-of-state student. She’s at her “number one school.” She’s volunteering, playing flute in concert band, spending her nights going to music events and hanging out with friends. Now, she’s leaving. Before she graduated high school, her father passed away and her mother became too injured to work. Without financial support, she took out $18,000 in student loans for her first year. She doesn’t want to graduate with $100,000 in debt, she said. “It’s not like my family [is full of] drug addicts. There’s no reason why I shouldn’t be able to go to the school I want to go to,” Connell said. Former student Aiden Holwerda was a biochemistry major, who frequently spent his weekends skiing with friends at Jay Peak and Stowe. Now he works at a brickyard and attends community college near Wyckoff, New Jersey, his hometown. He was aware of UVM’s cost as an out-of-state student, he said, but didn’t understand the magnitude of the situation until it was too late. To attend a second year, he would have had to take out a $30,000 loan.

“I ended up not feeling comfortable with it, so I ended up coming home, with hopes to find a cheaper way to get through school,” he said. Out-of-state tuition at UVM is the fourth highest in the country, according to U.S. News and World Report. Contributing to the high tuition cost is a barely-known state law called the “40 percent rule.” The law limits in-state tuition to 40 percent of out-ofstate tuition. In other words, out-of-state tuition must be two and a half times more than in-state. Vermont was then supposed to provide money to UVM to make up

A LAW FORGOTTEN 200,000,000

100,000,000

0 Year ABBY HOLMQUIST, Cynic Correspondent State funding (in thousands of dollars) and the UVM General Fund Budget, 1949-2015. Data was

When the state made the law, they put a “placeholder for a percentage,” without “debate or reflection on its meaning or its consequence,” President Tom Sullivan said. “The history is that the 40 percent rule was literally not debated in the legislature when it went into effect in [1959],” Sullivan said.

Sullivan then went on to detail a legislative vanishing act: the second sentence of the law, which ensured the state fulfilled their side of the deal, was cut out. “For some reason, the second sentence got taken out a year or two after, with virtually no one paying attention,” Sullivan said. “We’re going down the road with both wheels on, and all of the sudden one is taken off,” he said, “You need both pieces.”

We’re going down the road with both wheels on, and then all of the sudden one is taken off...you need both pieces

By Jacob Holzman, Sarah Olsen and Krista Cantrell

President Tom Sullivan

Rep. Peter Fagan, vice chair of the House Appropriations Committee, has an idea of why it is that Vermont lawmakers don’t know much about the rule. “We’re not looking back at how did this evolve over time,” Fagan said. “We’re just looking to see what is the law as it’s currently depicted. Going back in time like that is something that I doubt very few people will do.” For the full article, including the the possible future of the 40 percent rule, visit enterprise. vtcynic.com.


Life

Students get to know UVM’s provost Kristina Samulewski -

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team.

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NATALIE WILLIAMS The Vermont Cynic

the state. students. -

Vermont. I think there is

the institution.

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Fun Facts: Hometown: Needham, Massachusetts Major in college: Civil Engineering

state.

Favorite downtown restaurant: Hen of the Wood honor.

Favorite sports team: All UVM sports teams! (Pro-team: Boston Red Sox)

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Blend up a fast breakfast Allison Carey Weekly Health Columnist Spring and summer mean enough for smoothies in the morning. Illustration by Marissa Lanoff

nutritious.

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good to go. Banana Ginger

Just Peachy

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grated fresh ginger 1 teaspoon ground

• • • • • •

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Strawberry-Kiwi Smoothie

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• Watermelon Wonder

• Very Berry Breakfast • •

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Allison Carey is a senior English major. She has been writing for the Cynic since fall 2014.

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WEDNESDAY, APRIL 29, 2015

A beginner’s guide to Burly nights Danielle Goglia

To dance -

Vaska said. -

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The first stop

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The underage partier said. Smith said.

said. -

NATALIE WILLIAMS The Vermont Cynic

Bartender and alumnus, Joe Goldbury pours a Long Trail Flyin’ Ryan

Breaking down dorm life

Seniors grow gardens Harper Simpson

Heather Rankine

the UVM registrar. dorms at UVM. -

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and must sign the Housing

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BEX ADAMS The Vermont Cynic

and fundraisers. other one of the seniors in-

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Things to keep in mind

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Want to throw a party in your room? Reslife states the maximum room occupancy has been established for the following room sizes:

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UVM. -

Single room: three persons (the occupying resident and two guests)

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Double room: six persons (the two occupying residents and two guests each)

If no response is re-

Triple room: six persons (the three occupying residents and one guest each) Quad room: eight persons (the four occupying residents and one guest each)

said. -


p h oto s p ectac le

SPRINGFEST

Students gathered for the last SpringFest to be held on the Chittenden Buckham Wills green April 25. Philadelphia-based band Disco Biscuits and London duo AlunaGeorge headlined the show, bringing a festival feel to campus. Student bands like argonaut&wasp, Dr. Rick and Loose at the Root showcased local talent and opened for the two groups. The event also featured food trucks, a beer tent, face painting, a photo booth, a ferris wheel and more. Attendees danced for hours to music ranging from the upbeat British techno style of AlunaGeorge to Disco Biscuits’ more low-key jam band sound. Photo spectacle by Natalie Williams

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 29, 2015

7


ARTS

Burlington venue attracts UVM students Molly Duff Assistant Arts Editor Josh Holz Staff Writer Since opening in 1998, one music venue has been a standby for UVM students and Burlington residents alike. “I think Higher Ground more than elsewhere is for calmer crowds,” sophomore Gemma Rossi said. “The shows are kind of for everyone.” Higher Ground, on Williston Road, attracts concert goers and musicians from all walks of life. “I think it’s a good balance of better and lesser known artists,” sophomore Sarah Cuprewich said. “It’s the first Burlington music venue that comes to mind.” One of these better known acts is hip-hop duo, Atmosphere. The duo headlined SpringFest 2014 and has played at Higher Ground seven times, said Sean “Slug” Daley, who forms half of Atmosphere. Daley said it’s the venue that keeps him coming back to Burlington. “I appreciate the venue first and foremost,” he said. “It’s one of my favorite venues in the country actually.” Daley said the audience

PHOTO COURTESY OF KATIE LEGGETT Atmosphere members Sean Daley (left) and Anthony Davis pose for a photo. Daley goes by the showname Slug while Davis goes by ANT. The group has performed at Higher Ground seven times. Higher Ground has been a major music venue for the Burlington area since 1998, and hosts a variety of acts. at Higher Ground is one of his favorites, and one with the least amount of fighting. “I appreciate the way it’s built, the way they treat us,” Daley said. “At Higher Ground, it’s always a day when you can love your job.” Atmosphere is playing at Higher Ground May 5, though Daley said he’s unsure when they might come back after that show. “I can’t wait,” Daley said. “I look forward to all the smiling faces.” Kevin Statesir, owner of Higher Ground, said they try to showcase both national and smaller local acts.

“’71” rating:

Movie draws in history buffs Colin Kamphuis Arts Columnist History is rarely portrayed from the perspective of both sides. However, “’71” tells the story of English soldiers, Irish freedom fighters and civilians caught in Northern Ireland’s struggle for independence. The film follows the story of one British soldier who becomes separated from his unit during the Troubles, a period of civil unrest in Northern Ireland that lasted from 1968-1998. This violent period involved terrorist groups fighting for or against independence from the United Kingdom. Political beliefs aligned along religious differences further deepened the already divisive conflict. Gary Hook is a young man, not much older than most college students. A new recruit in the British army, little has prepared him for the violence he faces when he is sent to Belfast. After being left behind in a

riot, he becomes embroiled in a government cover up and must evade both shady British allies and Irish terrorists. Meanwhile, various splits in the Irish Republican Army have developed as violent young radicals threaten to usurp their superiors and plunge Belfast into even worse violence. The opposing factions within the IRA pursue the missing soldier, with one side hoping to save him and thus stop the violence and the other trying only to kill him. “’71” does a masterful job of telling human stories in a violent civil war. The blame is not squarely placed on either side, leaving the audience to draw their own conclusions about this complex and divisive conflict. Extraordinarily tense and suspenseful, it is a film that not only provokes contemplative reflection but also engages the viewer in a deeply engrossing way. The only real distractions are the indecipherable accents that lead to missed dialogue, although that is perhaps due to my untrained American ear.

“I think we’re at a good period for local music,” he said. “And we try to represent that as much as the national acts.” Higher Ground can act as a venue for local artists to get started, he said. “We get people that are up and coming before they get big,” he said. “To see a band grow like that is a really good feeling for us because we’ve helped foster them a bit.” No matter who’s playing, Statesir said Higher Ground’s concerts focus on the music itself. “We didn’t want High-

er Ground be considered wrapped up in the downtown scene when founding it, underage drinking or whatever it might be,” he said. “Nothing against that, but we wanted people to come here for the music.” Statesir said UVM students are respectful of their policies. “The word quickly gets out that you can’t mess around at Higher Ground,” he said. “I think if a band someone likes is playing, they should be able to enjoy it, whether or not they’re in an altered state.” Higher Ground aims for

that enjoyment in all their shows, he said. “I really like it when I go downstairs when people are jumping up and down and smiling,” Statesir said. “It makes my day to see we’re presenting something that can bring great joy to people.” UVM students help him and Higher Ground learn about new acts, Statesir said. “College students are how we find out about new stuff,” he said. “There’s a hundred kids who know about every different kind of band.” Having hosted more than 4,000 shows over 17 years, Higher Ground has connections to some nationally known bands. “Trey [Anastasio] of Phish wrote about an hour and half of music for the opening of Higher Ground back in 1998,” he said. “Those songs became a big part of the Phish repertoire.” The energy of both the crowd and the performers is what makes any show great, he said. “Even if you’re in the last row of Higher Ground, you’re close to the show,” Statesir said.

Drag ball hosts charity event Katie Lazarus Staff Writer Queens from around Vermont came together for the annual drag event, one of light-up wigs, pasties and hours of live entertainment. The 20th Drag Ball, organized by Bob Bolyard, or Amber LeMay as he is known in drag, was held at Higher Ground Feb. 14. “The Drag Ball is a charity event that has consistently donated to the Vermont People with AIDS Coalition,” Bolyard said. There was a donation table for the Coalition at the

DAYNA WYCKOFF The Vermont Cynic Members of the House of LeMay take the stage at Higher Ground Feb 14. This was the 12th year that this group organized the Ball. event, with condoms and stickers promoting safe sex. “The decision to donate to the Vermont People with AIDS Coalition started dur-

ing the AIDS crisis and I feel a personal duty to continue it,” he said. “I lost a lot of friends. It’s one of the reasons I do what I do.”

Lamar’s allegory of the hood Sandi Omanovic Arts Editor

Kendrick Lamar released the most anticipated album of the year, which is more of a philosophical message than a rap album. Lamar’s message in “To Pimp a Butterfly” parallels Plato’s “Allegory of the Cave.” In Plato’s allegory, a man leaves his community and

learns the truths of life, but when he returns to teach it to his people, he is ridiculed. The rapper’s hood allegory depicts Lamar trying to educate listeners on lessons of self-love and respect, like in the song “i,” but can’t because it would make him a hypocrite. In “The Blacker The Berry,” Lamar raps, “So why did I weep when Trayvon Martin was in the street? When gang banging make me kill a nigga blacker than me? Hypocrite!” Lamar is not only a hyp-

ocrite because he did the things he preaches against, but because, with his rap fame and money, he doesn’t have to resort to the same means to eat anymore. He questions, what does money have to do with a rap image when he doesn’t know the full definition of it? In “Institutionalized,” he battles with how to use his success to express a positive message. Lamar’s feelings of conflict and guilt reflect the same challenges that Plato was faced with.


d i st r act i o n s

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 29, 2015

9

The UVM Starter Guide When you’re new to a school, it can be hard to figure out how to deal with getting sick, taking difficult classes or even looking ahead to graduation. But the Cynic is here to help.

Tom Sullivan

Tom Sullivan is president of the University. His role, besides being the leader and face of the University, includes reporting to the board of trustees and developing financial and academic goals.

UVM Software Download Site As a UVM student, you now have access to lots of software – for free! If you go to the software download site and pick your type of computer, you can download programs such as EndNote and GraphPad Prism without having to buy it yourself. Take advantage of this, and get yourself some cool software while you’re a student.

Your Advisor Upon arrival to UVM, every student, regardless of their college, will receive an academic advisor. This person can be an extremely useful resource, and will be able to help you pick classes and fill your requirements. In four years, this person is responsible for ensuring you have met all your degree requirements in order to graduate, so it’s definitely a good idea to meet them as soon as possible.

Student Health Services Living away from home the first time can be rough, especially the first time you get sick. Student health services can help though. It is located at the corner of South Prospect and Pearl Street, in the UHC campus of Fletcher Allen. You can call and make an appointment, and any prescriptions they give you can be filled in the pharmacy just upstairs.

By Laurel Saldinger

Jason Maulucci & Tyler Davis Jason Maulucci and Tyler Davis are the newly elected president and vice president of the Student Government Association. The SGA meets weekly, and students are free to attend meetings. In fact, five senator positions are reserved for first-year students. SGA is responsible for much of UVM’s club funding, and works hard on student relationships with the administrators and the community.

Tech Support Many students at UVM carry laptops to do their work, and of course, laptops tend to break. If you do happen to find yourself in this frightening situation, know that UVM offers free tech support. The UVM Tech Team is located in the Davis Center, on the bottom floor of the bookstore. They’re open every weekday and have saved quite a few final projects in their day.

Learning Co-op & Writing Center If you find yourself struggling your first year, or you’re already unsure of how you’re going to study, there are many good resources on campus. The Learning Co-op, located in the Living/Living Complex right above the Marché, offers free tutoring for any class on campus, as well as free tutoring to enhance your learning skills. Additionally, the Writing Center, located on the first floor of Bailey/Howe Library, offers free help with any writing assignments you may have.


Opinion

Repeal the 40 percent rule EDITORIAL BOARD Editor-in-Chief Cory Dawson cynic@uvm.edu 802-363-6696

Managing Editor

This staff editorial appeared in issue 17 of the Cynic, which was published Jan. 8, 2015.

Stu Laperle newsroom@vtcynic.com

Arts

Sandi Omanovic arts@vtcynic.com

B-side

Sam Heller bside@vtcynic.com

Copy Chief

Hannah Morgan copy@vtcynic.com

Distractions

Laurel Saldinger distractions@vtcynic.com

Enterprise

Jacob Holzman enterprise@vtcynic.com

Illustrations

Ciera Libenson illustrations@vtcynic.com

Layout

Alaina Hendrickson layout@vtcynic.com

Life

Charlotte Fisher life@vtcynic.com

News

Hannah Kearns news@vtcynic.com

Opinion

Joseph Brown opinion@vtcynic.com

Photo

Erin Lucey photo@vtcynic.com

Social Media

Emma Oyomba socialmedia@vtcynic.com

Sports

Cam Panepinto sports@vtcynic.com

The human appendix is the classic example of a vestigial organ. It doesn’t really do anything, hundreds of people die a year from them exploding and millions of dollars are spent on surgeries to remove it. Unfortunately, we are all born with these vestigial organs. In Vermont, we have a vestigial law. Turn to page 4 and you’ll read an account of Vermont’s archaic and deficient “40 percent rule.” The rule binds the hands of our administration and empties the wallets of our out-of-state peers. Legislators have all but forgotten about it and it is costing us, the students, millions upon

millions. The 40 percent rule was a law passed in 1959. The law caps in-state tuition at 40 percent of out-ofstate tuition, effectively more than doubling out-of-state tuition. UVM is the only school in the country to have such a restriction. The artificial difference was supposed to have been subsidized by the state legislature, but never was. When almost 60 percent of our general fund came from the state, we were in the clear. Now, as we hover around 14 percent from state funding, we should all be scratching our heads. What’s more, the 40 percent rule originally had a state funding requirement attached to the law, a requirement that was inexplicably removed two years after the law was put on the books. What you’re left with is the fourth highest out-of-state tuition in the country. Students at UVM are starting to notice.

Illustration by ALYSSA HANDELMAN We’ve collected numerous accounts of such students who are forced to leave their dream school for another university. Some have not returned to school at all. The Cynic stands firmly against the 40 percent rule. We call upon our legislators to take

Five ways to be an NBR pickup artist Modest Proposals by

Daltrey Burris

Video

Molly O’shea video@vtcynic.com

Web

Kyra Bevins web@vtcynic.com

STAFF Assistant Editors

Somer Brown, Molly Duff, Freddy Fields, Danielle Goglia, Katie Hickey, Marissa Lanoff, Eileen O’Connor, Kate Lipman, Luci Lobe, Oliver Pomazi and JP Riedel.

Copy Editors/Fact Checkers Nora Aronds, Ellie Bodell-Kudla, Jessica Brideau, Hunter Colvin, Alyssa Handelman, Keile Kropf Emily Magoon, Mariah Noth, Drew Pizzo, Kristina Samulewski and Andjela Vukosavljevic.

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OPERATIONS Operations Manager Taylor Kammerer operations@vtcynic.com

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ADVISING Faculty Adviser Chris Evans crevans@uvm.edu

steps to stand on the side of reason and fix this. They either need to make good on their more than half a century old pledge to subsidize out-of-state tuition or simply repeal the law. We hope you stand with us.

The yearly Naked Bike Ride is once again upon us and, with it, all the excitement and potential for a new hook up. Here’s some simple tricks to help you get into someone’s pants, figuratively speaking. 1. You are what you eat. The best way to look your best and garner that sweet, sweet sexual validation from strangers is to watch what you put into your body the day of. Eating is a sure fire way to make you look soft and bloated like the overstuffed sofa of a human you are. To avoid this, simply don’t eat all day. Remember that nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, and skinny feels like the bliss of that homeless guy and gawky freshman ogling you every lap. In addition to this, it’s also smart to avoid any softer alcohols, as they’ll fill you up as well. By only consuming strong spirits you’ll be able to keep your figure and doctor your courage to a level where you can bare your body to the entire student body.

Illustration by CIERA LIBENSON

2. Dehydrate. In a similar vein as the previous tip (quite literally), preventing the intake of vital macronutrients can help you more than you’d think. Bodybuilders and actors alike have a system for getting that shredded and vascular look and it involves water. Four to five days in advance, drink at least two gallons of water a day until the day before the event, then limit it to almost nothing. This will limit subcutaneous liquids and make your skin wrap tighter around your muscles, giving you the disgustingly protruded veins that make the boys and girls go wild. By the time this is published you won’t have the time neces-

sary to do this, but that doesn’t matter because I’ll look hotter than you anyways. The vodka you’ll be pounding all day should help with this tip, as it’s a diuretic, but just be sure to avoid any mixer that could possibly keep you at a normal liquid level. 3. Riding a bike is a great way to increase your physical stature and speed, enhancing your ability to get noticed. Your friends may try to convince you that people actually just jog around naked, but why would the event not be called The Naked Run, then? The addition of wheels and metal works wonderfully in a dark and crowded environ-

Unsigned editorials officially reflect the views of The Vermont Cynic and its staff. All signed opinion pieces and columns do not necessarily do so. The Cynic accepts letters in response to anything you see printed as well as any issues of interest in the community. Please limit letters to 350 words. Send letters to opinion@vtcynic.com. We are also committed to accuracy in all of our work. If for some reason there is an error, please send all letters of correction to cynic@uvm.edu. 116 Dudley H. Davis Center 590 Main Street Burlington, Vt. 05405

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vtcynic.com

ment where everyone is heavily inebriated. The biggest plus to this is that when you inevitably eat shit on a tree root or fallen girl, you’ll lose a lot of skin on the concrete, allowing you to become even more naked than before! 4. Simply ask! Sometimes you’ll stumble upon a couple that’s already started going heels to Jesus right on the ground. Just try to get into that mix. You already know that they’re okay with sex because you’ve been watching it happen from the bushes for the past four minutes. Confidently walk right up to that writhing pile of flesh and see if you can have a turn. Consent is sexy, and by asking for it, there’s almost no way at least one of them won’t say yes. 5. If you meet anybody, don’t tell anyone your name is Daltrey. Apparently it is extremely ineffective and will ward any sort of affection away from you, like you just ate a peanut-ketchup-onion sundae. If you have this name, perhaps consider a more handsome pseudonym like Slank, Prulpa or Squench.

Daltrey Burris writes news satire for the Cynic. Burris is a junior psychology major. He has been writing for the Cynic since spring 2015.

2012 Online Pacemaker 2011 Newspaper Pacemaker First issue free, second issue 50 cents.


Sports

UVM skier wins his first national title Zachary Giroux One UVM alpine skier is no stranger to the spotlight. Dom Garand took home the national title in slalom during the 2015 NCAA ski championships March 14 in Lake Placid, New York. Garand’s skiing journey began at the age of 3 in Ottawa, Ontario. Garand was raised by a family with skiing in their blood and that passion has been passed down for generations, he said. “My grandfather was really the one who started it,” Garand said. “He got the bug, and gave it to my dad, and that translated into me being into skiing.” Before stepping foot in Catamount country, Garand was a competing member of the Canadian World Junior Team, according to the UVM athletics website.

Fun Facts: 1. Favorite Ski Resort: East Burke

2. Favorite TV Show: Vikings

3.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 22, 2015

Favorite Movie Genre: Comedy 4. Favortie Music: Eminem

11

asured by the numbers arrived to the Green Mountain State, he attended Burke Mountain Academy, where he trained and honed his skills, according to UVM athletics. During his time as a Catamount, Garand’s skis have grooved their way to the podium on a number of occasions. Garand said he prefers the slalom

55th national champion in Vermont ski team’s history, according to UVM athletics. “Seeing a student win a national title makes others believe they can do it too, and more skiers will want to come to UVM,” senior Tyler Dixon said. Garand was not the only one

PHOTO COURTESY OF UVM ATHLETICS

The slalom consists of turns with a radius of 10-12 meters, 60 total throughout the course. However, the ride hasn’t always been smooth; Garand has hit his fair share of bumps along

and improving and just being more consistent,” Garand said. “I think I’ve had some good speed, but I haven’t been able to do it day in and day out, but this year I’ve been more calm.”

UVM, he was recovering from an injury and said he was feeling shaky on the slopes. “I’ve been building each year

2013, Garand competed in seven conference races and posted later named Eastern Intercolle-

FITNESS CENTER STATS

the best.

This spring, Garand capped

giate Skiing Association Alpine rookie of the year, according to UVM athletics. During his sophomore season, Garand shot out of the gate with seven podium appearances and two victories, including the grand slalom at the UVM Carnival. He was selected to the EISA All-East First Team, according to UVM athletics.

well. “To have him come down in the lead, and hold it, was a pretty special moment,” head coach Bill Reichelt said. “It was kind of overwhelming; even now I’m pinching myself, and when I see the trophy in my room I just smile and I’m just so happy I actually did it. It was pretty fun,” Garand said. In addition to his successes, Garand feels he is ready to step up and be a leader for his fellow

RENA MEISLER

Waiting for UVM hockey

Lacrosse player scores big Peak hours pack the gym Jack Estrin

too crowded,” Butler said. First-year Hannah Taylor

Over the past year, there have been over 283,000 total

center. However, she noticed a decrease in the number of times she has been going this semester.

center, according to Campus Recreation. The weeks immediately following winter break are the most crowded, according to the report. First-year Rory Butler plans his workouts around crowded times. during the most crowded weeks of the year,” he said. When Butler goes to the

ook ahead

times, he said he will often leave if the crowds are too big. “When I do go during those peak times, I won’t even get my workout in since it will be way

cause I was less busy,” Taylor said. door track, Taylor said. “The indoor track gets really full,” she said. “Mostly the botFirst-year Olivia Wolfe said she has also built her schedule around some of the busiest center. “Like 4 to 7 p.m., that’s when

there are the most people,” Wolfe said. Senior Ryan Vaughan said he purchased a local gym membership to get away from the large crowds on campus, as well as to use higher quality ma“I got my outside memberships for a couple reasons,” Vaughan said. “One of the reasons is sort of the value. There’s much more value in terms of machines for only $20 a month. They have equipment that is just two years old.” As the year winds down, UVM students can expect crowds to be at average levels, except for the week of exams. Last year during the last three weeks of classes, visits peaked at 7,378, according to the UVM Campus Recreation report.

David Brandt The waitlist for men’s hockey season tickets is lower than it has been in years. There are currently fewer than 200 people on the waitlist, with a wait time of one to three years, according to the athletic There have been times when son ticket waitlist. Community members had to wait 20 to 25 ets, according to the athletic In recent years, UVM athletics has taken a closer look at the list and has been able to consolidate it. Senior Associate Athletic Dithe shortened length of the waitlist to a few factors. “We have about 2,400 season tickets, and depending on the year, the economy, how our

team has been doing, we may have anywhere from 50 to 150 seats not renewed,” Schulman said. Schulman also said that a lack of diligence within UVM athletics may have been to blame for the excessively long waitlist. “There were many years where there was almost no turnover of season tickets, so the names accumulated on the waitlist, and frankly we weren’t very diligent about checking those names,” he said. Lately, however, close attention seems to have been paid to “Once we really got serious about looking at who’s on the waitlist, we found that a lot of people had moved out of town or were no longer interested,” he said. With a shorter waitlist, “there’s a light at the end of the tunnel” for local UVM hockey fans, Schulman said.


12

S PO RTs

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 29, 2015

Pep band boasts its diversity Snapchat covers sports David Brandt

ica East tournament down in Hartford [Connecticut], we took 11 people,” Curtis said. “Now, we do the max. We take 31 every year.” The pep band currently has about 80 members, but between 30 and 35 show up at any given game. They support both men’s and women’s hockey and men’s and women’s basketball. The band’s large membership allows it to perform at a high number of games. A lot of this growth, Curtis said can be attributed to the high spirits of the pep band. “We’re here to make noise and have a good time,” he said. Senior percussionist Clare Devlin shared her coach’s inclusive attitude. “A lot of people in the band

Sports Columnist

JOE VAUTRIN Members of the UVM pep band practice a set at Gutterson Fieldhouse. The band is open to all and has a diverse group of members ranging across UVM.

have a lot of musical experience, but you don’t have to to be part of the pep band,” she said. “You just have to show up, and we’ll teach you how to do it.” Devlin, who has been a member of the band for all four years of her UVM career, appreciated the openness of the band’s schedule. With practice just once a week, “it’s not as intense as one of the music department ensembles, but [the] commitment is about the same,” Devlin said. Members also acknowledged the academically diverse composition of the pep band. A theater major, Devlin condemic disciplines represented within the band.

the band traveled down to Chapel Hill, North Carolina for the ball NCAA tournament. “[UNC] has a huge stadium,” she said. “There were so many people wearing blue, but there was a little Vermont section. Vermont fans travel really well.” The positive spirit of the band seems to echo outside of the walls of Patrick Gymnasium and Gutterson Fieldhouse, as members of the UVM community enjoy the pep band. music education major and lifelong musician, said the pep band is “without a doubt” a great ensemble.

Recently, as many people open their Snapchat applications, they may be in for a surprise: a live look into a major sports game, music festival and other big events. This live look consists of direct footage taken by fans who are actually in attendance at the game or event.

I think it’s cool that you get the raw story in a way

Well known for their performances of “Go Cats Go” and “Vermont Victorious,” the UVM Fighting Catamounts Pep Band is recognized by many for its fun and inclusive spirit. “All are welcome,” director Jack Curtis said. “If you can come, and you can read music, you can join the band.” Curtis and his co-director Neil Wacek have been leading the pep band for six years and said they have watched it grow

Jack Estrin

Lachlan Francis First-year

Snapchat debuted this feature, also known as “Our Story,” last year after trial runs at an EDM music festival and the World Cup, according to The Verge, a technology news website. The positive response gener-

ated by the use of “Our Story” for these two events has led Snapchat to make the feature available at many major sporting events. These have recently included the NCAA football championship game and the 2015 Final Four games in the NCAA basketball tournament. First-year Lachlan Francis, a frequent Snapchat user and avid hand nature of the “Our Story” feature. “I think it’s cool that you get the raw story,” he said. “It’s really cool when the players take Snapchats.” Snapchat users were able to use this feature during the 2015 NCAA basketball Final Four Championship. For Francis, “Our Story” also gave him a chance to look into what was happening at big college football schools during the season. “When it was college game day back in the fall, it was awesome to see since we don’t go to a football school,” he said. Recently, Snapchat has included a story for major cities around the world. The “Our Story” feature is expected to expand further, giving users even more opporcounts of major events around the world.

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