Five Things I’m Leaving in 2020 By Megan Rundle
I’m not one to change much when a new year begins. If you were shit last year, you’re probably going to be shit again this year; taking up Reformer Pilates isn’t going to make you a better person. But for some reason, this idea of just leaving things in 2020 strikes a chord. Like leaving an empty drink bottle in my car. Once it rolls under the seat, it’s not my problem anymore. So, this year, I’ve decided to leave 5 things under the seat of my car, and I’d advise you do the same. 1. Rockmelon. The shittiest fruit, in my opinion. I don’t know why, but every time there’s a fruit platter I tend to pick it up, because I think it’ll be like watermelon but it’s not. It’s rockmelon. Nanna must think it’s the GOAT fruit because she offers it to me every time I’m at her house and I always eat it. Not in 2021 though. Rockmelon, I’m letting you go. 2. Saying “how are you?” I keep asking it and people keep saying “yeah good thanks” back. It’s not a question that encourages an interesting response, so please don’t message me it to me on Tinder. I will not reply. I’ve decided to ask more interesting questions after saying the initial “Hello” this year. Here are some examples: “Hello, what’s your favourite physical feature about me?”; “Hi, which is Lady Gaga’s best VMA performance*?”; and, lastly, “Hello, what’s your trauma?”
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The Agriculture building has more wings than a flock of pelicans.
