HOW YOUR VALUES SUPPORT WHO YOU ARE

Life is about evolution. Life IS evolution. There’s no way around it. Evolution allows this wonderful question to be explored. The question of who am I?

The challenge is that when we open ourselves up to evolving, we can rarely see what’s beyond the horizon, shining its brilliant light on what’s ahead of us. This is frustrating, uncomfortable, and incredibly discombobulating. It's trying to the last nerve and every drop of patience we can muster. Yet, this evolution expansion is completely hope-inducing.

Who am I? Such a beautifully curious question, isn’t it? The only way we can truly find the answer is by moving forward in the knowledge and experiences we have, coupled with the deep seeded dreams that we may be too frightened to share (or have even yet discovered).

So, what in the world can we do, should we find ourselves contemplating this question over and over again as we continue to evolve over and over again? What can we do to uncover some semblance of an answer to who am I?

Look to your core values

During the Universal Womens Network™ Discover Your Values masterclass I presented at in January 2023, then you heard me share this quote:

"Values are who we are. Not who we would like to be, not who we think we should be, but who we are in our lives right now." – Laura Whitworth

This quote captures so much beauty in helping us gain clarity on who we are today. It doesn't mean that our values won't change (other than our one core foundational value). It simply means that we are who we are, exactly in this moment. When we look to our values – or even start down the road to understanding what our values are – we gain clarity on how we define and express OUR personal values. Therefore, we gain a bit more clarity on WHO we are. Since our values are also our aligned beliefs upon which we take action, they show us the very next step forward. Even if it's a wee shuffle instead of a full step.

Notice when you’re in our flow

Taking our values one step further, they give us insight into when we are in a flow state - those moments when we become one with the activity that we are doing, surprising ourselves with the ease with which we perform while reflecting the best within ourselves. It goes much further than simple enjoyment. It goes to the deeper theory that our flow states are closely linked to our true selves. Flow states are often connected with our passion. This begs the question; how do we begin to know what our passion is? Take a moment and ask yourself:

- What activity do you find important?

- Why do you find it important?

- What about it do you enjoy and why?

By exploring these questions, we're more likely to recognize what positively challenges us, when we lose time in an activity, when there is no real distinction between our thinking and doing, and so forth. Our flow states give us keen insight into who we are - your true who.

To learn more about flow states and finding flow, look up Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the father of flow theory.

Think of your younger self

Think back to the bright soul you were before the world told you who you should be. I know I'm still a ways from that happy-go-lucky elf of a child I once was. But, when I think back to her, I remember the innocent imagination of play, of colour, of giggles. She was a weird, quirky spirit who was larger than life. Over time, she became silent, and I am still reawakening her from an extremely long slumber. It's in this reflection, though, that I remember the play, the desire to help, and the wanting to be of use by bringing joy and a smile to this world. Our younger self has so much wisdom in answering who am I? because they hadn't yet taken on anyone else's mask.

Unleash your big dreams

Our larger-than-life dreams tap into hints of who we are. They provide insight into what our values are, what excites us, and what type of world we want to live in. Unleash our dreams and we get to start building the world that we're meant to be a part of.

Start by saying what dream of yours you haven’t admitted to yourself for fear that it may never happen. This is the dream you should start moving towards as it's telling you a huge piece of who you are.

Challenge those limiting beliefs

One of the hardest things we'll ever do is rewrite a belief that is keeping us small, that is holding us back, that is screaming louder than who we truly are. These beliefs didn't just appear. They came from somewhere and, at one point, they kept us safe. But, when the question who am I? rears its head, this is when these limiting beliefs create a cacophony of "here's who we will never be". Once we identify these limiting beliefs that are keeping us from who we are, challenge them! Ask:

- Where did it come from?

- When did it serve you well?

- Why is this no longer useful?

- Who can you become without it?

It's not a matter of reprimanding ourselves for having this belief as it did once serve us. It's about releasing it so we can realize who we truly are.

Don't go it alone

No one can achieve a life worth living by themselves. Life is meant to be lived in community. It's meant to have people helping and lifting one another. We're meant to be a part of something greater than ourselves. In this, we learn where our unique who am I answer fits. There is absolutely no shame in not being able to answer who am I? without a little help from our friends. They are our cheerleaders and remind us of who we are when we may be veering off our ever-unfolding path.

Most importantly, remember that as we work our way through these thoughts, it takes a brave soul to even ask the question who am I? Know that you are a brave soul doing a brave thing that so many people will never ask in their lifetime.

So, keep asking who are you? Your answer will surprise you.

To Discover Your Values, watch the Universal Womens Network Masterclass here: https://youtu.be/7GZpHZRbDyM

About the Author Lindsay Harle-Kadatz is a speaker and business consultant focused on team behaviour via culture and brand alignment. She was the recipient of the 2019 Women of Inspiration™ - Influencer Award. To learn more about Lindsay, follow her on LinkedIn or visit brpconsulting.ca