THE FOREFRONT OF INTIMACY

We have collectively experienced an unprecedented event through the pandemic. Like never before, our relationships now stare at us in the face and we are forced to look long and hard at the results of our efforts – or lack thereof.

We all feel it. Couples are really feeling it. Lawyers have been reporting steep rises in the amount of couples separating as we emerge out of these truly testing times because the moment we taste the overwhelm in our heads – and in our homes – we hit the escape button from the reality of our intimate relationships.

Healthy relationships will thrive in difficult times –and dysfunctional ones will start gasping for life support, grasping at anything (even infidelity), in an effort to survive this test. In grasping at anything, they let go of devotion and fold –because they have not been given the tools to ride the tide, and thrive.

In any situation, no matter how challenging, there is always an opportunity to be found. And I’d like to think that the opportunity of the recent pandemic is to re-establish connection – a devotion to self, the people we care about, our purpose, and all the things that we have forgotten mattered to us.

Because we have been forced to slow down, we get to shine light on what’s been driving us and hit the reset button and evaluate what’s been working and what hasn’t.

And nowhere is this more important than in the area of our intimate relationships.

As a society, we are not taught to do intimacy well. Our modern culture has injected our minds with lack, while at the same time idolizing anything that provides instant gratification and a sense of the individual over anything else. We are not taught intimacy or pleasure – with ourselves or with others – but when we learn that we can actually use intimacy and relationships to power up our lives, in healthy, vibrant ways, we gain access to a whole new level of connection, altogether.

True intimacy is not just ‘a fantastic f**k’. It is about submission, devotion and vulnerability. (The fantastic f**king comes later, as the inevitable outcome of these states of being.) You can only access the level of intimacy with another, to the degree which you can access it within yourself. The test: can you look into the eyes of another person, hold their gaze and surrender yourself… without flinching?

I invite you to say no to the easy escapes to your relationship difficulties and, no matter how challenging it may seem, dive deep into the enduring, confronting landscape of sacred intimacy and see where it takes you… you just may be surprised.

About the Author

Theano Evagelou is heralded as a modern-day love doctor for busy, high performing leaders, Theano is both a government-certified Certified Sexologist, Relationship Coach and Women’s Health Specialist, who guides visionary women to master their sexual power to create the lives they deserve and desire. Theano currently offers tailored consultancy and guidance for both individuals, couples, and corporations. Her clients describe her advisory as “powerful”, “provocative”, “challenging” and “life-changing”. Theano will invite you into your most difficult places and hold a stark mirror of truth with deep compassion.

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