V3 February 2024

Rome Antics Rome Antics

From your own Ghost moment to ghost hunting, downtown Rome has plenty of date night ideas that won't leave you ghosted

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If you or a loved one are injured or experience chest pain, stroke symptoms or severe stomach pain, don’t hesitate. You’ll find expert emergency physicians at the AdventHealth Redmond ER standing by to help you feel whole.

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24

Publisher's Note

Have you ever been called a noob? Don’t worry, it’s not as bad as it sounds. We have all been one at least a few times in our lives and I remember the term originating on the message boards back in the early internet days and catching on from there. It is prominent in the gaming community, but as a lifelong Phish fan, I’ve referenced people new to the band as noobs for years...as I was once one myself.

I’ve joined the noob ranks once again. I feel like Randy Marsh from South Park when he started playing Guitar Hero to look cool to his son and his friends, but I’ve recently been pulled into the world of Fortnite.

My oldest son got sucked in when it first came out and I avoided it like the plague. Over the summer however, my daughter and her boyfriend introduced it to my youngest son, and they started playing together online. With her living in Augusta and him adoring her so much, it was a great way for them to spend time together. It was cute at first, but then all the downtime I was used to having with my sons, was being spent playing Fortnite.

OWNER & CEO Ian Griffin

Yoga? Too slow, I thought.

A friend had invited me to go to a class with her. I was an avid tennis player and runner, and yoga did not seem like the exercise style for me. I really don’t think I am flexible enough. Do I really want to take one hour out of my already packed day to move slowly and possibly look like a fool?

I reluctantly gave in, “OK, I’ll try it, but I AM NOT signing up for any class packages.” I met my friend at the studio. She helped me set up and showed me around the studio. I felt a little out of place. Was I wearing the right clothes? Will this just be an exercise in humiliation? I watched others enter the space. They were calm. Friendly faces greeted me. I found my place on my mat, and the class began. As I practiced, I noticed that all the things I’d worried about were no longer taking up space in my mind. I was only thinking of each movement. Each posture. Each breath. My postures weren’t perfect. Not even close, but I did it. The class ended faster than expected. I was breathing deeper; feeling calmer. I had a good workout and realized this loving community did not care whether I did the postures perfectly or not. I was hooked! I signed up for a 10-class pass.

Yoga has a sneaky way of getting into our lives. Most people come for the physical benefits. They want to become more flexible. They quickly learn that the magic of yoga is the calm of both body and mind.

There are many styles of yoga. If you have tried it and didn’t like it, you just haven’t found your class. For Northwest Georgia folks, a unique opportunity is available on Saturday, March 2 as local yoga studios come together to offer the first ever Three Rivers Yoga Festival, a one-day event offering 14 different types of yoga.

The festival is a collaboration between yoga studios in Calhoun, Yovana Yoga; Cartersville, Etowah Valley Yoga; and Rome, SpringStone Yoga and In The Hills Yoga. Classes offered range from Yoga Nidra, a guided meditation that has been scientifically proven to lessen pain, anxiety, and even PTSD, to Tribal Yoga, a lively class incorporating bouncing and dance. Other classes include traditional styles(Kundalini), options for beginners (Yoga Toolbox), and live kirtan music provided by Professor Jeff Lidke of Berry College.

The goal of the Three Rivers Yoga Festival is to bring people together to celebrate movement, mindfulness, and community. Sponsorship options are available, and 100% of sponsor proceeds will benefit the festival’s partner the Dharma Project, a foundation committed to bringing yoga and mindfulness practices to underserved communities. Rutu Chaudhari, the founder of the Dharma Project will also be a workshop leader.

Love

is in the air on the Kingfisher Trail

Letters to the Emperor is a monthly humor column from the perspective of the self-proclaimed Emperor of Rome, GA. Nero Romansky, the unqualified, long-lost descendant of Julius Caesar, answers his letters from his less-than-loyal subjects. It’s like a fart joke but not as funny.

Mark Suroviec, M.Ed., is the Chief Ambassador of Fun at WorkPlay Solutions, the author of Forever Sisters, and the Vice President of the Children’s Museum of Rome. He hopes you pity laugh at his humor and satire stories, especially the ones that aren’t funny.

Heed my words of relational opulence, citizens. Who else could put the Rome in Romance?

February means love is in the air, groundhogs are dodging shadows, and the Emperor of all things romance is ready for your lovey-dovey questions.

First question.

DEAR EMPEROR NERO, “What’s the most romantic place in Rome to take a date? I sold my plasma yesterday and want to treat my baby momma to something special.”

— Mitchell Q. Hoppenstank | Unemployed, Part-time User of Stepsister’s Netflix Password

DEAR MITCH,

Can I call you Mitch? Of course, I can. A divine leader needs no permission to address their subjects in a new moniker. “Let it be known that from henceforth Romans, the lad Mitchell shall be referred to as Mitch… Or Mit… Mice, Miceman, Moosemice, Mousehopper, Morpholistank or MiniMcQ.”

Most of the Floyd County elite would tell you to book reservations with classy restaurants downtown like Aventine, La Scala, or John Henry’s. But should you follow the relationship masses like a lemming in a used minivan? Instead, take your she-partner to Free Sample Saturday at the West Rome Sam’s Club for a truly romantic experience. Save

your plasma cash on better gifts than a night out — like gold-plated jewelry or a monthly carwash subscription. And on the big night at Sam’s, don’t forget to tip the sommelier.

Me Vexat Pede, — Nero

DEAR NERO,

“If Cupid had a bow, the best gift for my boyfriend would be a new fiberglass-composite BuckSlayer Supreme — 991 compound hunting bow. See my logic?”

— Julie MacDonaldkins | Class of 2018, Coosa High School

DEAR JULIE,

Yes. Anything less is cultural appropriation.

Me Vexat Pede, — Nero

DEAR EMPEROR ZERO,

“What’s the biggest difference between romantic relationships in Ancient Rome and modern times? I want to hear your perspective before telling my students you’re wrong.”

— Dr. Humbert R. Tuffleson, Ph.D. | Associate Professor of Ancient History at Georgia Highlands College

DEAR DR. TUFFLESON [AGAIN],

What a fabulous reminder to update the spam filters on my email. Since your message made it through, let me answer in kind.

As you may remember, in the days of Caesar, emperors threw lavish parties filled with debauchery so intense even the most progressive-minded American would have blushed Rome Wolves Red at the sight.

Fast forward to 2024, and lovers of all appetites replaced the week-long pleasure festival with Tinder, Grinder, and LinkedIn. Through these dating apps, Nero learned that you should not set your profile status to “ISO of 150 people to perform [deleted] acts of [deleted] with [deleted][deleted] and [deleted] under the [deleted][deleted]”. It is the best way to get your account suspended.

DEAR NERO,

I met the most beautiful woman yesterday crossing the river on the Kingfisher Trail. We jogged from opposite directions when we stopped on the bridge to stretch. Angels sang in a moment of perfect serendipity. Time stood still as our souls rejoiced, gazing into the eternity of instant attraction. Afterward, she gave me her phone number! I’m utterly smitten with her despite our relationship only lasting a few moments.

Is love at first sight real? When should I text her a nude picture of my love bits?

— Anonymous

DEAR ANONYMOUS,

Let’s answer your second question first. It’s never too early to send a picture of your male organ to a romantic interest. But why stop with this one mystery woman? Cast your love net wider and forward the image to everyone in your contact list. Men and women, mostly in law enforcement, will be eager to meet you!*

For your first question — love at first sight is real, but only with cupcakes. [Not a euphemism]

DEAR NERO,

“Why do grown-ups call it the birds and the bees? What are they talking about?”

— Anika Chanda | Fourth Grader, West Central Elementary

DEAR ANIKA,

“Bless your little heart,” as old Socrates used to say during extended Senate meetings. Where should Nero, the ruler of romance, begin? The birds represent women, and the bees are men. Ladies are soft like feathers and majestic like the bald eagle at Berry College. Bee-men buzz around awkwardly, trying to get the ladybird’s attention.

Sometimes, the bees might dance with other bees, or a bird used to be a bee before the stinger fell off. There’s a lot of dancing, nectar, bird eggs, and…[paragraph deleted].

That should clear things up.

Me Vexat Pede, — Nero

DEAR NERO,

Will you go the entire romance article without mentioning that Rome has a “Frisky Biscuit”?

— Anyone Still Reading

DEAR BILLIONS OF LOYAL FOLLOWERS,

The Frisky Biscuit is on my “Feed ’Em to the Lions” list the Emperor will crush into oblivion because of a misunderstanding with the assistant manager. Nero loves himself a homemade recipe of wet cat food and breakfast rolls. When I learned that a Roman business was named after my favorite meal, I pre-paid for a week's worth of the Extra Frisky collection. Imagine my surprise when a package of unmentionables arrived devoid of canned pet meat and side dishes. The manager sternly refused to refund my money for gently used sexy-time products. “Listen, Frisky,” I said in my most authoritative tone.

“You owe me a [deleted] biscuit!”

Me Vexat Pede, — Nero

Disclaimer: Emperor Nero Romansky is a satirical character written and created by Mark Suroviec, M.Ed. All people and quotations are fictional, invented by the limited imagination of the author, and do not reflect the opinions of the author, editors, or V3 Magazine. *Please do not send pictures of your genitalia to anyone without their consent.

Coming up, Emperor Nero will be giving health and fitness advice

Please send your letters to: EmperorNeroRomanskyKnowsAll@gmail.com or scan the QR code

VASCULAR DISEASE: IN THE SAME VEIN OF HEART HEALTH

For American Heart Month, the physicians at Harbin Clinic want to highlight a lesser-known symptom of a serious hearthealth concern — leg pain. While popular media often links chest and arm pain to a cardiac source of disease, it's also crucial to recognize that different types of leg pain can be indicators of vascular disease. Vascular health, beyond the heart and brain, is an important part of heart-healthy living that is often overlooked. This February, get to know the vascular system and important signs of vascular disease.

WHAT IS VASCULAR HEALTH?

Simply put, vascular health is the care of blood vessels in the body. Arteries are vessels that move oxygen in blood from the heart out to tissues and organs. Veins are vessels that move blood the opposite way, transporting waste to where it needs to go in the body and ultimately returning deoxygenated blood to the heart. Even vessels in your feet are connected to the heart! There are medical specialists who are specifically trained to care for vessels beyond the brain and the heart — vascular physicians and surgeons.

VASCULAR HEALTH IN DISGUISE

The challenge with vascular health issues lies in the fact that the average person often doesn't suspect the pain they are feeling is related to the vascular system. Imagine having a wound or a strange change to your skin that won’t go away. A common thought might be to call a dermatologist about a cut on the leg that won’t heal, but it could also be a symptom of inadequate artery circulation to the foot or that veins in the legs are having trouble returning blood to the heart (a disease known as Chronic Venous Insufficiency). This is just one example of a vascular disease that could look, from the outside, like another issue. A few other common symptoms of vascular health disease include:

Dr. Frank Stegall, Jr MD

• Leg pain

• Leg cramping

• Leg hair loss

• Difficulty walking

• Significant leg swelling

• Skin changes or ulcers

• Significant color change and sensations of numbness or pain in fingers and toes

Describing confusion with venous disease symptoms, Vascular Surgeon Dr. Frank Stegall explains, "Patients who have these symptoms often assume that their pain or concern is related to arthritis, skin problems, pinched nerves or even stress. Instead, they should consider vascular health concerns as a potential diagnosis. Even varicose veins, one of the most common and recognized vascular health conditions, can be brushed aside as merely a cosmetic concern, when in reality they can be extremely painful and lead to other complications if left untreated.”

Beyond these symptoms, patients who are already at a higher risk of vascular disease should consider scheduling a vascular screening. Here is a list of high-risk indicators:

• Over 50 years old

• Smoking or use of tobacco products

• History of heart disease

• Family history of high cholesterol, high blood pressure or vascular disease

• Coronary artery disease

• Diabetes

• High cholesterol

• High blood pressure

• Overweight

• Physical inactivity

Smoking is by far the greatest risk factor for the buildup of plaque in the arteries of patients. It damages the lining of vessels while also constricting them, raises blood pressure and triggers general inflammation, and increases the likelihood of blood clot formation. If you are a smoker or have previously smoked, please consider pursuing a vascular health check-up.

A HIGH-SKILLED TEAM APPROACH

There is a fantastic team of well-trained professionals at Harbin Clinic prepared to meet the needs of vascular patients. Most patients start with a visit to Harbin Clinic Vascular Medicine or Harbin Clinic Vascular Surgery, where physicians provide comprehensive services for all types of peripheral vascular disorders. While getting to know a physician and finding support for a certain diagnosis, patients often visit the Harbin Clinic Vascular Lab in the same building, which provides a broad range of non-invasive vascular diagnostic services, utilizing ultrasound imaging and physiologic testing to evaluate blood flow and locate areas of vascular disease. If a patient needs surgery, many procedures can be performed using minimally invasive practices in the vascular surgery office. However, nearly all vein treatments can also be performed at the Vein Center under local anesthetic, allowing an almost immediate return to normal activities.

Along the way, Harbin Clinic Vascular physicians and surgeons partner with other providers and specialties such as Harbin Clinic's cardiologists, dermatologists, neurologists, rheumatologists and more. These inter-clinic partnerships allow for faster retrieval of medical information, faster appointment scheduling and ultimately faster care.

Describing this benefit Harbin Clinic Vascular Physician

Dr. Chacko explains, “An added benefit of having your veins evaluated at the Vein Center at Harbin Clinic is we are a multispecialty group. At a patient’s initial comprehensive evaluation, if we discover more pressing underlying conditions- such as heart failure or kidney failure – our notes and all the tests are available via the Harbin electronic health record to primary care and specialists throughout Harbin Clinic. They have immediate access to all the information. From the very first appointment, the health care team is engaged to solve the problem.”

For those patients who are at risk or just want to learn more about their vascular health, the Harbin Clinic Vascular Diagnostic Lab offers a 30-minute vascular screening that provides critical, early detection of the three most serious, non-cardiac-related vascular diseases in the United States. One of those diseases, the abdominal aortic aneurysm, is sometimes referred to as a “silent killer” because there are no symptoms until it ruptures. Today, it is the 15th leading cause of death for Americans.

This February, if you want to get serious about your heart health, don’t wait until you’re on your last leg. Keep your finger on the pulse of your vascular health.

Residential & Commercial Services Including

• Hydroseed

• Outdoor Spaces

• Hardscapes

• Irrigation Systems

• Trees & Shrubs

• Flower Beds

salandscaperome.com

joselopezland@gmail.com

• Stone Work

• Drainage Systems

• Retaining Walls

• Patios

• Bobcat Work

• Sod Installation & Service

Surrounded by natural splendor on the banks of Eagle Lake, the simple things in life are made even better at The Spires. With all the serenity of our 27,000 wooded acres yet all the vitality of our location at Berry College, it’s second nature to explore new opportunities and make genuine connections when you’re here.

Harmonizing Comfort and Quality on the Little River

Little River Harmony provides the ideal family getaway and a lucrative financial opportunity

text PAUL MOSES | photo ELIJAH BALL

Question: What could be better than renting a beautiful log house in a bucolic setting? Answer: Owning a beautiful log house in a bucolic setting. Fortunately, Hardy Realty can help make this a reality for some lucky buyer. Aptly named, Little River Harmony is currently used as both a family vacation home and as a vacation rental on Lookout Mountain in the charming community of Mentone, Alabama. This is an ideal place for business or church retreats, community events, family reunions, or more intimate escapes from the world.

Designed to please

Little River Harmony is a custom-built log home, designed to both impress visitors and give them a feeling of tranquil seclusion. Everything about the home seems simultaneously roomy and intimate. Much of that comes down to aesthetics; the overall impression the home provides is one of modern comfort blended with a rural sensibility. Country, but cozy country.

For real estate, location is always at a premium, and this location certainly does not disappoint. Situated on the middle fork of the Little River on more than three acres of lightly wooded land, this property enjoys over 150 feet of river frontage. It’s a perfect location for a getaway, while still having access to the conveniences and attractions of town. And it’s no wonder the house has a stable of faithful repeat renters. (Several bookings are already reserved for 2024 and will transfer with the sale. A detailed rental history is available upon request; see website below.)

For many, one frustration of moving into a new place is shopping for new furniture, having it all delivered, and organizing it in a way that is practical and pleasing to the eye. However, for the new owner of Little River Harmony, this will not be a problem. An added bonus of this home is that not only is it beautifully decorated, but it is being sold completely furnished and turn-key ready. That is a huge plus, considering the house has three levels, four bedrooms, four and a half baths, and sleeps up to 20 people. That’s a lot of space—and it’s already filled with everything a homeowner needs.

Plenty of room, and then some

Keeping with the rustic aesthetic, Little River Harmony features heart pine hardwood floors throughout and heart pine walls and ceilings. The first floor has two bedrooms and two bathrooms; one of the bedrooms is the master with an en-suite bath. This main floor boasts an open-concept floor

plan, which includes a large living room with a large gas log river rock fireplace. The scale of this space is accentuated by a 21-foot cathedral ceiling, multiple seating areas, a spacious, fully equipped kitchen, and an adjoining dining room. A sturdy log staircase leads to a walkway that overlooks the living area. One of the special features of the first level is a long screened-in porch (with a wood-burning rock fireplace), from which guests can take in the view of the river from the comfort of rocking chairs.

The second floor includes two additional bedrooms and one and a half baths. And here’s an extra benefit of purchasing this place fully furnished: one second-floor bedroom has a kingsize hand-made log bed, and the other has two sets of handmade log bunk beds. Also, the upstairs has a laundry nook with a commercial-size washer and dryer and a bonus room/den with a trundle bed.

The lower level, which has its own private entrance, can serve as a separate living space, complete with everything needed for a comfortable stay. It sleeps six people and has a gas-log fireplace, a full bath, a seating area, a kitchen, and a fullsize washer and dryer.

A history of care

The current owners of Little River Harmony have taken a personal interest in the preservation and care of this home because they built it. For them, this has been a labor of love to maintain the property at a high level. For instance, the exterior of the log home was stained in 2022, and the walkway from the house to the river has been well manicured (and the walkway is wide enough to accommodate an ATV).

Speaking of the river, the bed of the Little River is comprised of stones that have been smoothed by countless years of rushing water, making it a fun place for children to play and an ideal spot for fishing.

This property sale is a wonderful opportunity for some family to find its own Sweet Home Alabama and to own a lovely property that will not only give them years of priceless memories, but will also help pay for itself through its proven rental potential.

For more information on this property, contact Hardy Realty agent Becky Woodard (becky@hardyrealty.com, 706-506-0777) or visit LittleRiverHarmony.com.

LIGHTBULB MOMENTS

with Matthews Lighting & Electric

FEBRUARY:

Space Heater Safety

While the groundhog predicted an early spring, we are still in for a good bit of cold weather over the coming weeks and that means space heaters are in use.

At Matthews Lighting and Electric, we want you to stay warm but want you to be safe while doing so.

One easy mistake that can lead to a house fire is plugging your space heater into a surge protector or extension cord. While it may be the easiest way to get the heater in the optimal space to warm your toes, these power strips and extension cords don’t have a high enough current flow to support the electrical needs of your heater. That causes the cords to overheat and could possibly lead to a fire.

Therefore, you should always plug your space heater into an electrical outlet in the wall.

Stay safe this winter and call Matthews Electric for all your lighting and electrical needs!

Not Your Mama's

No disrespect to dinner and a movie, but for those looking for a more experiential, fun-filled date night, the adventures are out there.

Your Mama's Date Night

Text: Curry Teems | Photos: Andy Calvert

Step outside of the expected candlelit dinner and elevate your night out with experiential dates to create memories.

From adventurous activities to shared creative experiences, all the way to romance at the highest level, Rome has a diverse array of activities that cater to any couple’s tastes.

Molding Memories in Clay: Earthworks

This is an activity for couples who are just as artsy, but maybe want to get a little more hands-on experience with pottery. Earthworks welcomes couples of any skill level to come learn wheel throwing and hand-building. Make a piece of pottery that will last for years in your cupboard, and the memories will last even longer!

Book your classes at earthworkspotteryofrome.com

Axe-citing Adventure: Game of Throwns

Trade the conventional dinner date experience for a night of throwing axes and knives with your partner. If you like to have some healthy competition paired with laughs and beer, this is a perfect spot for a date night. This experience will surely leave a lasting memory and make you want to come back again and again. Book online at gameofthrowns.com to secure your spot.

Tee Off: Go Time!

If you want your date to be more interactive, but axe throwing isn’t your style, this is the perfect middle ground. Get playful and a little competitive with a lighthearted mini-golf date! Wind your way around the imaginative course—hole-to-hole, hand-in-hand—this is an adventure that is sure to be fun. Visit their website at gotimefamilyfun.com

Blossoming Love: House o' Dreams and Oak Hill Gardens

If you like to get a little active, the Berry College campus has a well-maintained trail to the beautiful House o'Dreams. The scenic view from Lavender Mountain is stunning, and you can wind your way through the ponds and gardens at the top. After that, you and your significant other can follow it up with a stroll around the Oak Hill Gardens for a little more romance!

Learn more and plan your visit at berry.edu

Heartfelt Hues: Swerve Off The Path

For an artsy and creative couple, an art class at Swerve promises a date where you can let loose and let your inner artist take control. Swerve offers a fan-favorite Sip and Paint class, pottery painting, and so many more. Take a look at their Event Calendar to register for a class that sounds right for you and your partner! Book your class at swerveoffthepath.com

Spooky Skyline: Myrtle Hill Cemetery

Whether communing with spirits is right up your alley or taking in the sunset over the town skyline is more your speed, Myrtle Hill Cemetery is the perfect location for either. Be sure to step with respect while soaking in the views, as disturbed spirits are all the more likely to follow you home!

Find Myrtle Hill at 20 Myrtle St SW, Rome, GA 30161

Night In Town:Hawthorn Suites and Off Broad

This is the perfect spot to take the traditional dinner date to the next level. If you want to have a romantic getaway with your partner, enjoy a night in at Hawthorn Suites for just you and your significant other! You don’t even have to leave the building for a magical dinner at Off Broad.

Make your reservations at hawthornromegeorgia.com

Consider ditching the ordinary and embracing the extraordinary with one of these date night ideas that offer a little more than a traditional, fancy dinner would. Create some memories with your favorite person that will last for years to come!