On The Outskirts Of My Soul

ON THE

OUTSKIRTS OF MY SOUL A young man’s emotional and spiritual journeys described through poetry.

VADIM MAKOYED

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ON THE

OUTSKIRTS OF MY SOUL A young man’s emotional and spiritual journeys described through poetry.

VADIM MAKOYED

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This book is dedicated to all of my family and friends who have supported me through all the seasons of my life.

I thank God for you, because I would be nothing without you!

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Author

I am Vadim Makoyed. For twenty-one years I have roamed the earth. I love to watch life; the way it flows, the ways people thrust it many directions, the ways it tries to catch up with us.

No, this world isn’t my home and it never accepted me hospitably. I will leave this place of vanity to finally rest in the presence of my God. But while I’m here, I live this life striving to learn as much as I can from it and send a message to the rising generations, so that perhaps mistakes of the present won’t be repeated in the future.

The Book

This book is somewhat a collection of many different places I’ve been to since I started writing these poems in the year of 2009. It is not about places I’ve traveled to and visited in the physical world. This book is about emotional and spiritual journeys to the outskirts of my soul.

I think, by reading through the pages of this book, you will be able to unveil a totally different side of me which is probably much harder to see otherwise. I think through these poems we will find ourselves alike...

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Poems Oh, Where’s My Soul? ..................................................................................................... 8 Living Sacrifice ....................................................................9 We Are The Fading Sounds .....................................................10 The Jar Filled With Regrets ..........................................................................11 This Is Me Without God ...............................................12 To Forest Went My Day .....................................................................13 She Is So Bitter On My Lips ..................................................................................14 ...And I Came To The Sunrise .................................................................15 I Have Seen Them .................................................................................................................16 I Am You .......................................................................................................................................................17

На окраине души... ...............................................................................................18 How Can I Let You Know That I’m Alive? ..................................................................19 I See The World Through Blurry Eyes ...................................................20 In Coma ....................................................................................21 On The Outskirts Of My Soul ..............................................................................22 Whispers Of The Serpent ................................................................24 I Will Never Regret ..................................................................................................................26 I Thought I’ll Win This War ....................................................................27 So What if I Might Lose My Sight? ............................................................28 I Am Indifferent ......................................................................................................................................29

Я cлышy гoлoc ................................................................30 The Crime Inside Your Womb .............................................................................................32 Facing Troubled Waters ....................................................................................................33 I Wish You’d Last With Me Forever ....................................................35 Thinking Of You ......................................................................36 You Are Like God ................................................................................................................................37 6

Pray For Me ......................................................................38 This Great Fire ...........................................................................................39 Culprit And Forgiver ...................................................................40 Chasing After The Wind ..................................................................................................42 Through Our Darkest ............................................................................43 Behind The Locked Door ....................................44 Oblivious ..............................................................................................45 Needle In My Heart ..................................................................................................46 In A Line Of A Million ........................................................................................................................................47 Demon’s Art .......................................................................48 My Unforgiving Heart .......................................................................................................50 The Locked Door ...........................................................................................................................................51 This Town Is Scarier Than Darkness ........................................................52 Lying Near You Scattered .......................................................................................................53 There’s Been An Invasion ...................................................................54 A Single Glance .......................................................................................................56 Let’s Go Away ...........................................................................................................................................57 Such A Beautiful Song We Sing .............................................58 They Boil In Hatred .......................................................................................................59 The Dawn Of Sorrows ..........................................................................60 A Fire Without Oxygen ..........................................................................................................61

Я знаю Ты ответишь мне ...............................62 We’re Growing Crippled ................................................................................................................................63 The Years I Wait In Pain ...................................................................64 Let Us Just Be ...........................................................................................................65

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Oh, Where’s My Soul?

Oh, where’s my soul?

A whirlpool so threatening.

A restless night – that’s what you are.

Where are you, oh my soul, And why do I sense you trembling?

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Living Sacrifice I gave it all away, No regrets here to say.

It is the price I was willing to pay.

I’m just a clay And if I may Die for You every day, Then down before You I lay.

They say my world's gray.

Do I care anyway, If this is the price I was willing to pay?

They see me as prey Every time when I pray.

Do I care any way?

It is just for today.

‘Cause tomorrow I’ll rise To destroy all their lies.

The truth never dies.

I have seen paradise.

Living Sacrifice was written to God with excitement in my heart. Having a great desire to give my life away for His glory, I felt like the words just rose up to the surface from somewhere deep.

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We Are The Fading Sounds We are the fading sounds of strings.

Our lives so quickly disappear.

We started out so bright and holy But finish beaten, finish broken.

End up barely put together; Scattered pieces of shattered lives.

Who can tell us what went wrong here?

We are the grass so richly green And next day - dry, stepped on, and dead.

We are so insecure, alone.

Because our love we sold, we’re cold.

We denied our God, denied our Lord!

As I was thinking about people in general, an inspiration for this poem came.

I just got sunk thinking about many people that are pressed under the weight of this world. I realized that life is very unstable, full of unpleasant surprises.

With these thoughts, I began quickly scribing what my mind dictated.

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You Are Like God You are like God Worth fighting for.

You are like God Worth dying for.

You can only be compared To the beauty of the God. This is who you are.

Lily among thorns you’ll be.

This is who you are to me.

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On The Outskirts Of My Soul On the outskirts of my city I have found the escape ... so I ran.

On the outskirts of my soul Cannot breathe in dissemblance ... so I run.

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While writing this short poem, I just wished to run away, run away from vanity all around me. I wanted to run away from myself so messed up and dirty. As I felt like running, I couldn’t let myself stop to rest.

Everything inside me seemed foreign and wicked. So I kept on running...

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As many activities were going on in my life, my focus turned away from the simplicity of the relationship with God. I missed just being with God and spending time with Him. That’s when I wrote this poem.

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Let Us Just Be...

Let us just be, just You and me.

Let us be silent without words.

Because every started conversation ends.

Because no opened mouth stays so for long.

I will just sit here and enjoy Your presence.

I will just sit here in my car knowing You're with me.

Motionless and silent for eternity I’d rather be.

But then I'll speak of You forever. ‘Cause once I'll start, I'll be unstopped.

There is so much of You in beauty Once seen, no soul can find enough To sing of everything You are.

To tell of everything You've done.

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Grace be with all them

that love our Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity.

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Special thanks to: Lianne Bannow for correcting my grammatical errors and Tatyana Makoyed for an idea to create the book and financial support.

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Contact Vadim Makoyed: Online: vadimakoyed.com E-mail: hey@vadimakoyed.com

Design and layout: Vadim Makoyed (vadimages.com) 71

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Thank you for previewing my book!

You can get your own hard copy online at www.vadimakoyed.com On The Outskirts Of My Soul book is 72 Pages long.

It includes over 50 poems and has a paperback cover.

The cost is only $12.

Thanks once again! ;)

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