Page 2 • Valley Bugler • April 2018
From the Editor’s Desk April brings us into that time of the year when many of us begin thinking about spring cleaning and DIY projects around the house. Maybe even moving into a bigger or smaller home is on your docket. Home Improvement. There's just something about waving goodbye to winter and welcoming spring that makes us get out our brooms and sweep away the dust bunnies from under the furniture. Closets and drawers are sorted and plenty of items head either to the Goodwill or facebook freecycle pages. With so many options online nowadays for giving and/or selling items, there is less need for dump runs. Not sure if somebody will want your "junk"? Post it online and see. You may be surprised. Remodeling your home could result in having materials that you could either recycle into the new design, or "upcycle" to someone else desiring your materials. This method of material sharing helps keep heaps and heaps of otherwise salveagable materials out of our landfills. As a home owner many times, there have been a multitude of remodeling projects that surfaced over the years. We even once tackled gutting the main section of our small house close to Lake Sacajawea. Now that was a learning process. At the time I was very pregnant, and mostly unable to help with any of the remodel. A generous friend allowed my small family of 4 to stay in her home during the remodel. I say generous, and I mean angelic. Two small children under the age of 5 and a pregnant woman? Yes. Angelic, indeed. Although the remodeling experience was harrowing at times, we sure learned a lot. Mostly to measure three times, cut once. And that nothing comes in under budget. Ever. Or on time. Ever. ☺ Perhaps you have some projects
for this spring? Painting a fresh color on some walls? New carpet or flooring? Building a deck or patio? Sometimes even just getting new furniture can make your home feel fresh and new. Seeing as I am renting right now, there aren't many "remodeling" projects on the drawing board. Mostly diving into my kids' closets and scary bedrooms to go through clothes that are too small and ready to be given away, as well as pull out garbage that has been sitting all winter. (Yes, I was not brave enough to tackle that these past few months....) The garage has been getting the stink eye from me as well as the laundry room, so I'm guessing my cleaning frenzy will attack those two areas as well. My mom used to call herself the "white tornado" when she went through the house cleaning like a madwoman, and throwing things into the giveaway pile. I don't know why she called herself "white" other than she said it was because she was moving so fast she was just a white blur. It was this time that my brothers and I would carefully hide our prized possessions and keep a careful eye on the giveaway pile. Interestingly enough, I find myself turning into a "tornado", although I call myself "the cleaning tornado", and my children definitely know what that entails. Funny how things carry over from generation to generation, isn't it? I hope you find some happiness in this issue, maybe giving you a suggestion or two for spring projects, and a smile on your face with the jokes and sillies we love to print for you. Until next month, get cleaning!
Michelle Myre Publisher / Editor
Valley Bugler, LLC Longview, WA (360)414-1246 www.ValleyBugler.com editor@valleybugler.com
Editor/Publisher: Michelle Myre Copy Editor: Tom Reich Web Manager: Oscar Myre IV Distribution: Diana Jones Advertising: Michelle Myre Columnists: Blake Peterson: Movie Reviews Georgia Butterfield: Adoptee Georgia Cox: Castle Rock Seniors Oscar Myre IV: Geek Speak Paddy Elkins: Fruits & Nuts
**The Valley Bugler newspaper publishes content supplied from columnists, and is not responsible for factual mistakes or anything other than the occasional spelling error. The Valley Bugler retains a neutral stance on ads, issues and articles printed, unless otherwise stated. Columnists may not always submit material for each month.** eMail: editor@valleybugler.com
Phone: (360)414-1246
Web: www.valleybugler.com
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Easy to grow herbs will enhance your culinary dishes Basil: This annual is the perfect companion for dishes that include tomatoes. Trim the stems, leaves and flowers to make the plant more productive. One of the most infamous kitchen garden herbs, you can grow inside on a sunny sill all year long and enjoy fresh deliciousness on a daily basis. Try making your own pesto! See recipe at bottom of article. Chives: A perennial, it adds flavor to soups, fish and potatoes. Snip the entire stem if you remove a flower bud. Parsley: It grows for two years and adds flavor and color to fish and other dishes. Clip flower buds when they appear in the second year. Likes a sunny location, says Patricia Lanza, author of Lasagna Gardening with Herbs. Rosemary: A perennial, but it doesn’t like cold climates and may not appear there after the first year. Its stems add flavor to vinegar or olive oil. Leaves are great in lamb dishes and sauces. Don’t overwater the plant. Sage: Used as a seasoning for meats, sauces, stuffings and soups. Hummingbirds like the plant’s flowers. Thyme: A perennial herb, it is good for seasoning chowders and soups. It will grow in rock gardens well, too. Tip: Mint, parsley and lovage do best in fairly moist soil, whereas rosemary, thyme and sage prefer soil that is only slightly moist. Seeds of annual herbs (basil, cori-
ander, dill and oregano) can be started indoors and grown year round. Place a collection of popular culinary herbs in a sunny kitchen window and they’ll be available when needed. Perennial herbs, like chives, parsley, sage, sweet marjoram and thyme, can be started from seed, but it is often easier to purchase young plants from a nursery. Because perennials grow for more than one season, it’s best to keep them outside in pots during the summer and bring them in before the first frost. Start small and grow from there! You’ll delight in your own bounty! **Fresh Homemade Pesto** 1 - 2 cups fresh basil leaves 4 cloves garlic (or to taste) 3 - 4 Tablespoons pine nuts 1/3 cup freshly grated Parmesan 1/3 cup olive oil Salt & Black pepper to taste Directions: *Combine basic, garlic, pine nuts and Parmesan in the bowl of a food processor; season with salt and pepper to taste. With motor running, add olive oil in a slow stream until at your desired consistency. Enjoy!
April 2018 • Valley Bugler • Page 3
Girls Night Out offers a day of fun, food and friends
Dishing up a Taste of Italy on March 25th! At Left: Pioneer Lion volunteers, Ken Botero (far left), Cindy Sessions (middle) and Sharon Sisson (right) serve up laughter as a side dish during the Pioneer Lions “Taste of Italy” spaghetti dinner fundraising event. Sessions' famous spaghetti sauce is always a highlight. Photo provided by Lions Club.
By Michelle Myre It’s time to gather the family, call all the friends, and mark your calendar for the most fabulous (and extremely satisfying) fundraiser! A Taste of Italy • April 14th All You Can Eat! Get ready to fill your plates with unlimited pasta, salad and bread. Are you drooling yet? Longtime Pioneer Lions member, Cindy Sessions, will be making her award-winning secret pasta sauce, so be sure to bring your appetite. Kids 3 and under eat Free, and there are now Gluten Free and Vegetarian Options to round out the menu. Mark your calendars for Saturday, April 14th, A Taste of Italy is held at the spacious St. Rose Parish Center in Longview from 4:00pm - 8:00pm. Also at the Taste of Italy, will be a plethora of raffle goodies that you have a good chance of walking away with at the end of the night. That being said, you don’t have to be present to win, so perhaps a winning phone call could be in your future... Past years have boasted coveted raffle items, such as a Coach hand bag, Betty Crocker Cooking Sets, and a brand new tool set with tool-
box. This year’s gift baskets are still a secret, and have been lovingly put together or donated by business members of the community, and Pioneer Lions members. One ticket in the raffle equals one entry for the basket of your choice. And there are many. Choices, that is. The more tickets that you put into the basket drawing, the greater your chances of winning. All proceeds made from the event will go towards the Pioneer Lions scholarship fund. The Taste of Italy was created to give back to the student community of Longview. All proceeds from the dinner ticket and raffles are donated to the Pioneer Lions Scholarship program, directly benefiting students. Each year, hundreds of people show up to take part in supporting a local charity that is giving back to our area students. Last year, well over $7,500 was raised, with $3,000 alone from raffle ticket sales. Don’t miss this years yummiest fundraiser in town! $12.00 - Ages 18 and older $10.00 - Seniors (62+) $10.00 - Students (4-17) Kids Ages 3 and under eat FREE. St. Rose Parish Ctr. See ad>>>
Saturday, April 21st 2:00pm - 8:00pm It’s time to gather the girlfriends and meet up in Downtown Centralia for a Passport Adventure of shopping, eating and lots of giggles. Ladies (and shoppers) can pick up passports ($5.00) at either side of town, at HubBub (505 N. Tower Ave) or The Station Coffee Bar (120 S. Tower Ave), and begin their shopping and playing adventure. Again this year, Girls Night Out benefits the Human Response Network, whose mission is when the crisis of domestic violence, sexual assault occurs, Human Response Network is there for the survivor. If you've never visited Downtown Centralia during this fun event, you are definitely missing out. Publisher Michelle Myre has attended faithfully, and tends to get a little wild, as seen here in the proof, er, picture above, taken by her good friend Sandi Seelke, while they enjoyed Girls Nite Out. Participating retail shops and restaurants will be offering special discounts and goodies to ladies who bring their passport in during the event day. The first 200 participants will receive a goody bag loaded with free giveaways and coupons. A collection of definitely Lady friendly prizes have been assorted and are waiting to be claimed by their
winners, who will be chosen throughout the day. Also on the docket for the days fun is the limousine available for carrying you and your gals from one end of Tower Avenue to the other. Because we all know what walking in heels can do for those toes. Guys, don't be shy to attend! Great gift ideas and discounts abound and Mother's Day is just around the corner, and perhaps a special birthday? For more information please call (360)736-4333 or visit online at Facebook by typing in: ‘Downtown Centralia Girl’s Night Out’ in the search box. Check out everybody participating and see you there!
Page 4 • Valley Bugler • April 2018
The Laws of Golf
LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime. LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former. LAW 3: Brand new golf balls
are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water. LAW 4: Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down. LAW 5: No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all his playing partners must solemnly chant “You looked up,” or invoke the wrath of the universe. LAW 6: The higher a golfer’s handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instructor. LAW 7: Every par-three hole in the world has a secret desire to humiliate golfers. The shorter the
hole, the greater its desire. LAW 8: Topping a 3-iron is the most painful torture known to man. LAW 9: Palm trees eat golf balls. LAW 10: Sand is alive. If it isn’t, how do you explain the way it works against you? LAW 11: Golf carts always run out of juice at the farthest point from the clubhouse. LAW 12: A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than anyone in your group. Likewise, a group you accidentally hit into will consist of a football player, a professional wrestler, a convicted murderer and an IRS agent -- or some similar combination. LAW 13: All 3-woods are demon-possessed. LAW 14: Golf balls from the
same “sleeve” tend to follow one another, particularly out of bounds or into the water (See Law 3). LAW 15: A severe slice is a thing of awesome power and beauty. LAW 16: “Nice lag” can usually be translated to “lousy putt.” Similarly, “tough break” can usually be translated “way to miss an easy one, sucker.” LAW 17: The person you would most hate to lose to will always be the one who beats you. LAW 18: The last three holes of a round will automatically adjust your score to what it really should be. LAW 19: Golf should be given up at least twice per month. LAW 20: All vows taken on a golf course shall be valid only until the sunset.
Celebrate Earth Day at Cowlitz Expo Saturday, April 28 from 10 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. at the Cowlitz County Expo Center will find thousands of people coming together to celebrate “Earth Day 2018”, a FREE family event. The Cowlitz Expo Earth Day Celebration is a free, fun-filled, award-
winning event for people of all ages, even though “Earth Day” is nationally recognized on the 22nd. Join us on the 28th for: Rock Climbing Wall Planetarium Pony Rides Eartha the Environmental Clown Farmer’s Market Circus Cascadia Fun Hands On Exhibits Gyroscope OMSI Petting Zoo Reptile Roadshow
April 2018 • Valley Bugler • Page 5
Happy Easter! Sunday - April 1st (No Joke!)
Easter Traditions - which are yours? Hallelujah! Jesus Christ is Risen! He is Risen, indeed! Easter, celebrated from at least the 4th century, is the most important religious feast of the Christian faith, marking the resurrection of the Savior, Jesus. Eggs play a significant part in the Easter celebration, but did you know of the story behind them? In the early history of Christianity, the eating of eggs was forbidden during Lent. Come Easter morning, eggs were colored red and brought to the table to symbolize Easter joy. This tradition has continued into our times by families hiding brightly colored eggs for the little ones to hunt on Easter morning. The popular “egg-rolling” by children on Easter Monday on the lawn of the White House shows the importance of the holiday in public life. The Blessing of Easter baskets on the day before Easter is popular in many countries. The baskets often contain hard-boiled eggs that are said to be a symbol of new life. Blocks of butter carved into the shape of a lamb or a cross are often included, as are meats and cheese. In most of America, the morning is started with the Easter Basket full of goodies, candies and treats. Followed by an Easter Egg hunt, either inside, outside or at a public location like a park or church. If you were lucky, the sun was shining and your parents were brave
enough to hide the eggs outside, instead of inside around the house. Easter is also usually celebrated in America with a traditional gathering for feast. Many families gather for Easter Breakfast or Brunch, while many others feast for Dinner. A traditional way of celebrating Easter among Protestant and evangelical churches is the Easter cantata, a program of special music and joyful songs. There are probably a wide variety of programs and Easter “performances” to be had around the area - simply call your church or other churches in the area for information. Most churches are listed in the phone book for your convenience. Our local area is filled with great musical talent. The timing of the Easter celebration varies from the Easter Vigil to a sunrise service to Mass or other services during the day. Many times, churches are packed with people who only frequent their doors on this joyous Sunday. For some reason, Easter is the one time that they are either brought to church with family, or feel the need to make things right with God. The colors of Easter are white and gold. These are the colors associated with sacred days. The white symbolizes the newness that comes with the victory over sin and death, while the gold (yellow) expresses that Christ is the light of the world. Whatever tradition you follow, may this Easter be special for you!
Interesting Easter Trivia • According to widespread belief, Easter owes its name to “Eastre”, the Anglo-Saxon goddess symbolizing hare and egg. Another theory suggests that it comes from the early German word “eostarun”, meaning dawn and white. • Easter always falls between March 22 and April 25. • Easter is a “moveable feast” as it does not fall on a fixed date in the Gregorian or Julian calendars. The full moon determines the date of Easter. • “Pysanka” is a name given to the tradition of Easter egg painting. • The color used in painting the eggs differ in different nations. Orthodox Grecians paint their eggs red to symbolize the blood of Christ. Some Germans and Austrians paint
their eggs green and use them on Holy Thursday. Slavic peoples decorate their eggs in gold and silver patterns. • Chocolate eggs were traditionally given as gifts in Europe. • In 19th century Europe, bitter dark chocolate was used to make small egg shapes. These chocolate eggs were traditionally exchanged as Easter gifts, especially in countries like France and Germany. • 76 percent of people eat the ears on chocolate bunnies first. • According to the Guinness Book of World Records the largest Easter egg ever made was just over 25 feet high and weighed 8,968 lbs.
Page 6 • Valley Bugler • April 2018
2018 Home & Garden Show! Coming May 19 - 20
No matter the season or region, outdoor living is more popular than ever, as homeowners look to bring "the indoors out" and create spaces that are true extensions of the home. Absolute Al Fresco: Outdoor kitchens are now finally living up to their name. Check out Trex Outdoor Kitchens collection for cabinetry and other functional elements.
Railing Redefined: Look at different types of railings, perhaps a "cocktail railing" would be a good use of space. Lights, Please: Create ambience just by adding or modifying current lighting. Material Matters: Wood alternatives are popular due to low maintenance. Check out Trex.com for ideas.
Sat., May 19th: 9am - 5pm Sun., May 20th: 10am - 4pm It’s that time of the year when thousands upon thousands of local residents descend upon the Cowlitz Expo Center for the Home & Garden Show, put on by the Lower Columbia Contractor’s Association. Hundreds of vendors display their wares and offer specials only found at the H&G Show, offering everything from fresh flowers and landscaping supplies to solar energy, remodeling, roofing materials and bids. Ideas are bound to start percolating. In short, just about everyone will find something to satisfy their Spring or current year home improvement project palate. Teaming up with the Washington State University Master Gardener’s program, the LCCA's Home & Garden Show will offer free classes and workshops on various subjects that any NW Native could hope for regarding gardening. (Complete class
list can be found soon online at lcca.net)
The Home & Garden Show charges a $2 admission or 2 cans of food. All of which is donated to a local food bank charity. Your donations help many thankful families in our com-
munity. The amount of free giveaways and service discounts more than makes up for the entrance fee. The Lower Columbia Contractor’s Association represents over 200 local area businesses, many of whom will be offering their services and products for your inspection. The Home & Garden Show is the perfect place to come and get quotes for home repairs, discover new products and see the latest models of air conditioners or roofing materials. Whether you are looking to find a new landscape artist for your front yard to increase curb appeal, or talk to some roofing specialists about that leaky ceiling, the Home & Garden Show is where you’ll find your answers. WORKSHOPS • Propagating Plants • Growing Vegetables • Feel the Heat (growing peppers) • Spice of Life (growing herbs) • Fruit Tree Pruning • Easy Way to a Great Lawn • Tips to Control Moles • Basics of Composting FREE Workshops are sponsored by WSU Extension and WSU Cowlitz County Master Gardeners.
April 2018 • Valley Bugler • Page 7
(Family Features) After a long winter cooped up indoors, spring is the perfect time to start re-imagining your home and making upgrades that create a fresh, welcoming vibe. These project ideas – some big, some small – can help breathe new life into your home so you’re ready to enjoy your favorite rooms to the fullest. Air it out Months of closed windows and doors can make any room feel dusty and stale. As soon as temperatures allow, throw open the windows and skylights to let the fresh air chase away the remnants of winter. It’s a perfect time to launder window treatments and clean area rugs. After a few passes with a carpet cleaner, allow rugs to air-dry outdoors. If you’re considering an update to the overall decor, changing out these textiles is an easy and affordable way to create a new look. Just donate the used drapes and rugs after cleaning instead of bringing them back into the room. Shift your outlook When contemplating changes to a room’s aesthetic, most people focus on the floor, walls and elements like furniture and accessories. As some homeowners are discovering, there’s a whole other space waiting to be discovered. The ceiling, a fifth wall of sorts, opens up endless creative design opportunities. Whether you’re seeking more natu-
ral light, access to fresh air, a sense of spaciousness or a way to bring sophistication to a room, a skylight may be just the solution. For example, Velux room-darkening and lightfiltering blinds can add a splash of color just where you least expect it, and they’re efficient in shielding your space from the sun, meaning the blinds and installation are eligible for a 30 percent tax credit. Learn more at whyskylights.com. Paint to perfection Over time, once cheerful walls can grow dull. Create a livelier ambiance with a fresh coat of paint, either in the same shade or something completely new. If you’re not sure exactly where to start, tackle the project room by room. To choose the right hue, select a favorite item in the room, such as an heirloom throw blanket or a piece of wall art, and consider color shades that complement the item well. Make what’s old new again Sometimes a fresh perspective is as simple as rearranging a room to better fit your needs. Over time, the furnishings can become almost an afterthought because they’ve been in place so long. Try moving things around to create new conversation groupings or to highlight a piece that has been tucked away in the shadows. An updated arrangement may inspire to you add and embellish with some simple new accessories or accent pieces for a room that only looks
brand new. Get earth smart With all of the new growth and hues of green that abound during spring, it’s natural to be more mindful of the environment. Earth-friendly upgrades like switching out inefficient lighting or installing low-flow toilets and shower
heads can make a sizable difference. Another option for energy conservation: Look for ways to maximize natural light for heat and to brighten rooms. Well-placed windows and skylights can harness energy naturally, so you can minimize your reliance on electricity for comfort and convenience.
Page 8 • Valley Bugler • April 2018
The
Submitted by Georgia Cox APRIL Events Every Monday: Our delectable Cinnamon Rolls and coffee will be served to the public from 10am to NOON. Suggested donation is
only $1.50 for these delicious concessions. A great way to start your week! Every Monday, Wednesday & Friday: Get that heart rate up and get healthy with Senior Yoga classes at 8:15am to 9:15am, and Senior exercises from 9:30am to 10:30am. Every 1st and 3rd Tuesday: "Write Your Life Story" will meet in the Center at 12:30pm - 3:00pm. Every Wednesday: CAP offers Nutrition Meals for Seniors at the Center at NOON. Suggested donation is $3.00, PLEASE call #6362118 (by Monday) for reservations. Every Thursday: Quilting projects
By Paddy Elkins Valley Bugler Columnist Do you know any devoted fishermen? I have known a few: My best friend, Lila, and her husband, Bob, started Bob's Surplus and Sporting Goods after World War II. Bob is the ultimate fisherman! I visited them at their beach house a few years back, and Bob went fishing on the ocean all by himself at 5am, (he is in his 90's!) and came back with a lovely catch for
will take place from 10am - 3pm and fun Pinochle games are played in the Center later at 7pm and open to all who are interested! Every Friday: Lunches by reservation only, will be served in the Center at NOON. Must Reserve by calling 636-2118 by Monday. Every Saturday: BINGO games played from 1pm - 3pm. Come join in the fun! SPECIAL EVENTS: Tuesday, April 10th: Special music by Sally Gene will perform Country tunes we are all familiar with at 11am, with a potluck lunch following at Noon. Saturday, April 14th: "Spring Fling Bazaar" and cookie sale! 9am - 3pm. Bring your friends! Thursday, April 19th: Commodities will be distributed from 10am 1pm. Have a valid punch card. NOTICE: Watch the readerboard for any changes or new events. Castle Rock Senior Center 222 - 2nd Ave • Castle Rock WA (360)274-7502
dinner. Lila cooked up and Bob "slathered with butter", just the way he likes it. (He also swears that THAT is the secret of his longevity... to slather EVERYTHING with butter! But I strongly suspect his amazing work ethic also contributes heavily to his long and extremely productive life.) My other best friend, Chrissy, has a dad who's definitely "hooked". Jerry Fike has patiently and faithfully fished the local rivers for years, providing
Lighter side
TITLE CLARIFICATION *A passenger jet was suffering through a severe thunderstorm. As the passengers were being bounced around by the turbulence a young woman turned to a minister sitting next to her and with a nervous laugh asks, “Reverend, you’re a man of God, can’t you do something about this storm?” To which he replies, “Lady, I’m in marketing, not management.” HONESTY The priest is repairing the church fence. A young boy has been standing nearby, watching for a long while. The priest finally asks him, “Do you want to speak with me, my son?” “No, I’m just waiting.” “Waiting for what?” “Waiting to hear what a priest says when he hits his finger with a hammer.”
SURPRISE SURPRISE! The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch. Someone dialed 911. When the paramedics arrived, they helped him regain consciousness and asked if he knew what caused
freezers full of yummy salmon steaks for Chrissy and her mom and himself. (And occasionally for lucky others like ME when he feels like sharing...) Our son, Steve, absolutely has "the bug". He is passionate about fishing and fishes every chance he gets. From a boat. From shore. Doesn't matter. He has it down to a science. Knows Bob's Sporting Goods like the back of his hand. Knows exactly what bait, lure and tackle to use to entice whatever kind of fish he's after, onto his line. Recently, he landed a 25 pound steelhead! A BEAUTY! Took pictures. Is having it mounted. Shared the precious meat with his dad and I! We LOVE that boy! He has a wonderful, generous heart! And we love his passion for his craft! Less than a month ago, my husband and I had the privilege of standing to-
☺
him to faint. “It was enough to make anybody faint,” he said. “My son asked me for the keys to the garage, and instead of driving the car out, he came out with the lawn mower.” RANCHER A New York family bought a ranch out west where they intended to raise cattle. Friends came to visit and asked if the ranch had a name. "Well," said the would-be-cattleman. "I wanted to call it the Bar-J, my wife favored the Suzy-Q, one son liked the Flying-W, and the other son wanted the Lazy-Y. So, we're calling it the Bar-J-SuzyQ-Flying-W-Lazy-Y." "But, where are all your cattle?" "So far, none have survived the branding." IS IT ME? I went to see my doctor and told him I had trouble sleeping. Doctor: "I've found a great new drug that can help you with your sleeping problem." Me: "Great, how often do I have to take it?" Doctor: "Every two hours."
gether on the shores of the Sea of Galilee - where Jesus called His first four disciples - all fishermen. Peter, Andrew, James and John must have all heard and believed good things about Jesus, because they immediately dropped their nets and started following their Savior. He eventually taught them to become "fishers of men". Because they already "thought like fishermen", He was able to provide them with the ultimate BAIT to use to capture the hearts of men, women and children for the Kingdom of God! (The Good News of the Gospel!) And now it's our turn to think like fishermen. Amen? Let's GO FISH! Paddy Elkins invites your feedback! You may Email her at: paddyelkins@gmail.com or call her at 360-751-5231.
April 2018 • Valley Bugler • Page 9
Movie Reviews By Blake Peterson
KIWANIS CLUBS focus their community service hours to the welfare of children. CATHLAMET 1st Tues. 6 p.m. at the St. Catherine’s Catholic Church; 3rd Tues. at Sugar Lillies at noon. CHEHALIS - Thursday 12 p.m. at “The Restaurant” in Sunbirds. CLATSKANIE - 1st & 3rd & 5th Tues 6 p.m. at Fultano’s; 2nd & 4th Tues 12 p.m. Colvin’s. KELSO LONGVIEW - Every Thursday at noon. Kelso Senior Center (Catlin Hall). Richard (360)636-3906 SCAPPOOSE- 1st & 3rd Wednesday 6:30 p.m. Windemere Real Estate Office) ST. HELENS - Thurs. noon at the Elks Lodge (350 Belton Rd, St Helens). ST. HELENS DAYBREAKERS - Tues 7 a.m. at Warren Country Inn, Last Tues 6pm Columbia Soil and Water District Office AMERICAN LEGION GLEN HOYER POST 175 meets in Castle Rock every 1st & 3rd Tuesdays, 7:30 p.m. For info call 423.9542. The LADIES AUXILIARY to Glen Hoyer Post #175 of the American Legion meets first Thursdays. For info call 423-9542. AMERICAN LEGION GUY RATHBUN Post #25 meets the 2nd Thurs. of the month at 7 p.m @ Kelso Eagles For info Kandi 423.2504 BUFORD ROCKAFELLOW POST 101, The American Legion, and Auxiliary meet 2nd Friday each month at Winlock Community Building. Potluck 6 p.m., meeting 7 p.m.. For info Post Commander Wendy Carolan 360785-0929 or Adjutant Phil Carolan at (360) 785-0929. The FLEET RESERVE ASSOCIATION (FRA) Naval Service Veterans, Navy, Marine Corps, Coast Guard. Lower Columbia Branch 363 meets 6:30 p.m., 2nd Friday, Longview VFW building, 4311 Ocean Beach Highway. Information: Ray Hegr (360) 425-6981 FLEET RESERVE AUXILIARY #363 meets 2nd Fri of month at VFW Hall, 4311 Ocean Beach Hwy, Longview. Potluck 6:30 p.m. meeting 7:30 p.m. Active, retired, or reserve status family members with the US Navy, Marines, Coast Guard. Info 425.4688. KOREAN WAR VETS ASSOCIATION CHAPTER #321 of SW WA meets the 3rd Wednesday of each month @ 10am; Vancouver WA. Call Commander James Mead (360)907-0592 for information. KELSO-LONGVIEW ELKS LODGE #1482 meets Thurs at 7:30 p.m. for our members only. Dinner is served before Lodge at 5:30 p.m. Lunches are served Monday-Friday 11 a.m.-2 p.m. 900 Ash St., Kelso. 360.425.1482. TOUTLE VALLEY VFW POST & AUXILIARY #10882 meets 1st Tues 7p.m. Post Home, 101 Hansen Road in Toutle. Info: Doreen 360-270-4445 TOLEDO VFW 3429, Reg. Meeting 1st Monday, Potluck at noon, meeting at 1 p.m. COWLITZ VALLEY VFW POST 1045, Meeting 2nd Wednesday, 9:00am Bingo on Tuesdays @ 6pm, with dinner at 5pm, 4311 Ocean Beach Hwy, Longview The COWLITZ VALLEY VFW LADIES AUXILIARY POST #1045 Meets 1st Thurs, 6:00pm, Breakfast for members & guest 9-11am served 2nd Sat. For info Kathe, 360-577-2592 4311 Ocean Bch Hwy, Longview CENTRALIA CWO ROBERT M. DOWLING POST #2200 Meet 2nd Tues, 7:00pm, 111 1/2 W. Main St, Centralia WINLOCK - LEWIS AND CLARK POST 3409 Meet 1st FRI, 6:00pm, Veterans Memorial Field Clubhouse, 575 Nevil Rd, Winlock SUNNYSIDE GRANGE #129 meets the 1st & 3rd Thursdays. 6:30 for potluck, 7:30 meeting. Call 274.6013 for information & rental hall. SILVER LAKE GRANGE 2nd and 4th Thurs. Potluck 6:30, meeting at 7:30 p.m. Info Anita Morgan 748-8098, Rentals call Claudia Hunter 274-5263 CATLIN GRANGE #199 2nd & 4th Fri. 6:30 p.m. Potluck dinner 2nd Friday. 7:30 meetings. More info: 423-2122; Rental call Barbara Wilburn: 425-5970. PLEASANT HILL GRANGE # 101 2nd Monday. 6:30 p.m. Potluck, meeting @ 7:15 p.m. Community Service group meets Thursdays @ 10am. Info & rentals call Zula Bryan 360-425-6101 ROSE VALLEY GRANGE #9453 2nd Tuesday, 7p.m. Info & Hall Rental: Nicole Nickel 360-431-3175 WOODLAND GRANGE #178 1st Thursdays 7:30 p.m. 404 Davidson, Woodland. Info & rentals call John Burke 225-9888 CASTLE ROCK WOMANS CLUB meets every 2nd Monday at 1 p.m. 206 W. Cowlitz Street. Business meeting & program. Public iinvited. Info: 274.8149. THE PYTHIAN CASTLE 24 holds their meetings every 2nd and 4th Thursday @ 1 p.m. at the Castle Rock Womens Club, 206 Cowlitz St. West, Castle Rock. THE CASTLE ROCK LIONS CLUB meets the 1st & 3rd Thursdays at Hattie’s Restaurant @ 5:45 p.m. The club sponsors newspaper recycling. R Square D Square Dance Club: Sept - May. 2nd Fri & 4th Sat. 7:30 pm Plus, 8:00pm - 10:00pm Mainstream with Rounds. $5 admission Kelso Senior Ctr 636-1993 LONGVIEW MONTICELLO LIONS meets 6:30 p.m. 2nd and 4th Mondays, dinner and speaker at The
on 2nd & 4th Mondays. LONGVIEW EARLY BIRD LIONS meets at The Carriage Restaurant on the 1st Wednesday @6pm, 3rd Wednesday @6:45am. VADER LIONS CLUB meets 1st Thurs @ 6 p.m. & 3rd Thur @ 7 p.m. at club building on Hwy 506 in Vader for a potluck dinner and meeting. Info: 295-3087 or 295-3801. KALAMA LIONS CLUB 2nd & 4th Mon. of month, 7:00pm Kalama Comm. Bldg., 126 N. 2nd St, Kalama,Wa. All welcome. www.e-clubhouse.org/sites/kalama.com LONGVIEW PIONEER LIONS CLUB meets every Tuesday at noon at the Longview Eagles Club (152612th Ave) Visitors welcome. WINLOCK LIONS CLUB meets the 1st and 3rd Thursdays of each month at 12 p.m. at Guadalajara Restaurant, off SR 505. Visitors welcome. Call 7853744 info KELSO LIONS CLUB meets 1st & 3rd Monday @ 6:30 p.m. at Kelso Presbyterian Methodist Church. Call Gary 423-7181 ROSE VALLEY GRANGE #953 meets 2nd Tues. @ 1pm, & 4th Tuesdays @ 6 p.m. 1520 Rose Valley Road, Kelso. Info: Becky 575-3977 or Debbie 414-9627 COWLITZ COUNTY VETERANS ASSOC. meets the second Friday of each month. CALL 577-6757 for locations. LONGVIEW REBEKAH LODGE NO. 305 Meets the 1st and 3rd Saturday each month at the IOOF Hall, corner of Pacific and Pine, Kelso, 1 p.m.. Info: 1-866725-3507 CASTLE ROCK EAGLES, celebrating their 100th birthday, meets at the Eagles Aerie on Huntington Ave. @ 8 p.m. every 2nd & 4th Tuesday for the Aerie & Auxiliary. KELSO EAGLES meet 1st and 3rd Tuesday at 7 p.m. Aux., Aerie meets at 8 p.m. Initiation 3rd Tuesday. BINGO MonWed-Fri @ 6:30 p.m. Special Charity BINGO Monday 12 - 3 p.m. Call 425-8330 for info. CASTLE ROCK FREEMASONS 3rd Mon @ 7:30 p.m. at Lodge located on SW First Ave DAUGHTERS OF THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION, MaryRichardson Walker Chapter. rootsweb. ancestry.com/~wamrwcdar/ FRIENDS OF CASTLE ROCK LIBRARY, 1st Mondays from 10 - 11 a.m., Library 137 Cowlitz St. West in Castle Rock WORSHIP & RECOVERY meeting, Sunday @ 1 p.m., refreshments. Positive faith group meeting. 1260 12th Ave., LV S.C.O.R.E. - Free counseling & guidance for small businesses by the nation-wide of S.C.O.R.E., Kelso/ Longview Chamber of Commerce, 1563 Olympia Way, Longview, WA. DISABLED AMERICAN VETERANS: 1st Fri of the month at 1 p.m. @ 1639 10th Ave. 577-5890, and Auxiliary meets the 2nd Friday of the month at 11 a.m. 423-3125 MT. ST. HELENS CLUB - meets 2x week to hike on a rural trail in SW Washington &/or NW Oregon. Location and info: mtsthelensclub.org or 360- 673-2799 NATIONAL ASSOC. OF ACTIVE & RETIRED FEDERAL EMPLOYEES Longview - Kelso Chapter 1070, meet the 1st Wednesday @ 11:30 a.m. at the Monticello Hotel, Longview. Info: 423.6032. LOWER COLUMBIA WOODCARVERS Tues 5 - 7 p.m. & Thurs. 1 - 4 p.m . @ LV Senior Center 274-3175 LONGVIEW BORDER CROSSINGS Volks walking meet on 2nd Tuesdays at St. John’s Hospital, Longview, @ 6:30 p.m. Cafeteria Sam Korff 503-728-0400 KELSO ROTARY Meets Thursdays at 12 p.m. Lunch available to purchase. Kelso Longview Elks Lodge Call 414-5406 for more information ALTRUSA of Longview/Kelso meets Thurs from 12-1 p.m.. Lunch served $5 at all meetings except Board. Meet at Altrusa room at CAP. THE SPIRIT OF FREEDOM Christian Intervention program for the chemically dependent, meets Wednesday 6 p.m. at Landmark United Pentecostal, 4333 Ocean Beach Hwy, 360-636-0580 LONGVIEW GARDEN CLUB meets 10am. 4th Thurs. Jan. - November; Sept. - Oct. Nov. & Dec. meetings are on the 3rd Thurs. Grace LutheranLongview. 425-0755 Lower Columbia Genealogical Society 7:00p.m. 2nd Thurs @ Somerset Retirement Home, 2025 Tibbetts Dr., Longview. Visitors welcome. Info: www.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~walcolgs/index.htm COWLITZ BEEKEEPERS ASSOCIATION meets the 3rd Thursday each month, 7 p.m. @ 3 Rivers Bible Church 102 Harris Street, Kelso, 360-749-9040 OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS of Longview meets Thursday @ 5:30-6:30pm at 1414 12th Ave, Longview. Info: Gloria 360-749-7449 or www.oa.org NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) "Connections" Open Support Group Mondays @ 4-5:30pm & Thurs 12-1:30pm. Counseling avail. Call (360)703-6722 Kelso office: 109 Allen St, Kelso WA Kalamas GFWC AMALAK women's service club 1st & 3rd Thurs from Sept - May at Community Center, 216 Elm street in Kalama at 7:00 p.m. Call 360-901-1791 CASTLE ROCK TOPS # 0740 (Take Off Pounds Sensibly)Thurs 9:30am, St. Paul's Lutheran Church, 312 First Ave. Darlene: 703-5042.
Faces Places Directed by Agnès Varda, JR Starring Agnès Varda, JR Running Time 1 Hr., 29 Mins., PG My Rating: A
You do not have to be familiar with the filmmaker Agnès Varda or the photographer JR to enjoy the Oscarnominated “Faces Places” (2017), a delightful documentary they codirected. Cinephiles recognize Varda as one of the pioneers of the influential French New Wave film movement of the late 1950s and early ‘60s. Art lovers know JR as the mysterious, permanently bespectacled photographer and Instagram sensation famous for pasting his snapshots on building walls and city monuments. Initially, the twosome, who also stars in the film, seem to be an odd pair. Their respective artistic styles contrast, and their 55-year age gap is prominent. But as the 89-minute “Faces Places” unfolds, we discover that this was an artistic partnership made in heaven. “Faces Places” is arguably the most accessible work either has made to date. It is vulnerable and intimate in the ways other JR pieces are not, and is inviting in ways Varda’s movies rarely are. They embark on an art project that will ultimately take a year and a half to complete. As introduced during the film’s first few moments, Varda and JR, who had only just met before production began, intend to travel to an assortment of French villages and small towns, meet their inhabitants, and take photographs of key community members. Once the photos are taken and developed, the collaborators will blow the portraits up in JR’s usual style, plaster them on regiondefining landmarks, and move onward. At first, Varda and JR’s intentions seem unrealistic and toilsome, sus-
ceptible to poor reception. But as we watch them waft through these sleepy villages and get to know an array of middle-class earth-shakers, the film proves to be remarkably meaningful and profound. It is apparent that the artistic gesture is significant to many of these small-town people. For those who get the chance to see their own faces turned into a gawked-at spectacle, the undertaking serves as recognition for their years of hard work. A statement that helps underline their love for their community. The movie also underscores that everyone is vital to the work of art that is a community, no matter how big or small. “Faces Places” is exceptionally optimistic and curious, a looking-forward type of film that emphasizes the beauty of everyday people, unique communities, and discovery. But it is poignant, too. Varda has alluded to the fact that this will likely be the last movie she will ever make, and this is especially heartrending since it’s clear that she is just as energetic and inquisitive of a filmmaker as she was at the apex of her career. And we’re very much aware of the temporary nature of her and JR’s friendship: they’ve only just discovered that they are artistic soulmates, but they will likely only get to bask in the glory of their partnership for a few more years. But all this adds to the film’s multidimensionality. What at first seems to be the cinematic counterpart of something you’d see on a travel channel ends up becoming an emotionally complex, effortlessly moving story of friendship and exploration. Maybe “Faces Places” will be Varda and JR’s one and only team-up. But that won’t stop me from wanting more. A student at the University of Washington, Blake will major in Visual Communications or Journalism. petersonreviews.com
Church Directory found online
Get Puzzled... Answer on p.11
Page 10 • Valley Bugler • April 2018
By Oscar Myre IV Valley Bugler Columnist Over the years I’ve shared my top ten iPhone apps. It is hard to believe but, the last article was almost 4 years ago. This is an updated list in no particular order of my favorite IOS apps. They run on iPhone, iPad and/or Apple TV. Many of my old favorite apps are still favorites. MapMyRun Records and tracks pace, time and distance. At last count, I’ve run well over 1,000 miles with this app. Crazy. You Version Bible - This still my favorite Bible app. In about 30 days I will have completed another read the Bible in a Year program. To be fair it read to me more than I read it this time around and it took more than a year. Find my iPhone - This an important app to install before you need it. Shutterfly Share Sites - As a soccer and basketball coach and Dad I rely on this app to keep up with the kids. Reminders - This is a simple app that helps me get stuff done.
New to my list this time: Real Racing 3 - Here is a car racing game with a bunch of very cool cars to drive. I’m not a big gamer, but I really enjoy this one on my phone and Apple TV. Waze - Replaced Google Maps for me years ago as my in-car navigation. I use it almost every day to find the fastest route to my destination. OfferUp It's a Craigslist killer. It is a great way to buy and sell stuff locally. Mirror - Is an extension of a web & app design application that I use called Sketch. Mirror allows me to easily test the work that I’m doing on my Mac - on my phone. PureFlix - Think of it as Netflix for Christians or for people who want just to watch some clean programming. As a bonus, my kids shared with us their favorite apps... Chloe's faves (high schooler) OverDrive, YouVersion Bible, Instagram, Netflix, Amazon Music & Skyward Cora's faves (middle schooler)
Snapchat, Netflix, Starbucks, Pinterest, Rider, Picsart & Video Star/Video FX Oscar V's faves (elementary) YouTube, Roblox, C.A.T.S., Mario Run & Disney Crossy Road. Geek Tip: When we say favorite it is not necessarily the apps that we use most, but ones that we currently like a lot. If you’d like to see what IOS apps you use most you can go to Settings / Battery. If you scroll down to the head-
ing of BATTERY USAGE you can tap on the little clock icon on the right and it will let you see what apps you’ve used most in the last 24 hours or 7 days. This my no means a complete list. I invite you to share some of your favorites. ~:-) Oscar Myre IV is currently Senior Visual Designer on contract with Allied Telesis in Bothell. He is looking forward to attending an upcoming Photoshop training workshop.
5 Ways to Boost Home Wi-Fi
(Family Features) In today's connected world, it's almost unthinkable to function without an internet connection, and for practical purposes most households need wireless connectivity for everyone to fully enjoy their internet-enabled devices, including smartphones, laptops, tablets, televisions, thermostats, security cameras and even refrigerators. However, with the growing number of devices requiring access to your network, and in some cases even the quality of the connection itself, there can be limitations to your Wi-Fi network's performance. The problem can be compounded by the reality that increased reliance on Wi-Fi networks isn't just in your own home or office, it's around the globe. Some groups, such as WifiForward, are advocating for increased connectivity across America, including greater access to unlicensed spectrum, which are radio frequencies that consumers can use for a wide range of purposes, including Wi-Fi. Ultimately, greater access to unlicensed spectrum can result in benefits like more reliable connections and super-fast "Gigabit Wi-Fi," as well as cost-effective wireless broadband for unconnected urban and rural areas. In the meantime, these tips may help boost the quality and speed of your home Wi-Fi network. Use up-to-date Wi-Fi technologies. It won't matter what other steps you take to improve your network performance if you're using old technology. Be sure your devices and router are
all compatible with the latest network capabilities. Equipment that runs the latest Wi-Fi standard, 802.11ac, is ideal if you're using multiple devices. Improve network security. Be sure to regularly update your password and enable WPA2 encryption, which offers greater security. Know that location matters. Placing your router in an open, centralized area is likely to create a better access point throughout the house. Be wary of walls and other obstructions than can hinder a clear signal transmission throughout the house. An ethernet cable and cable clips are all you need to move your router from its connecting point to a more signalfriendly location. Reboot your router regularly. Like many devices, an occasional reboot can help improve function. A router that is continually running is processing a great deal of data and even in normal operation some data can become corrupt. A reboot can dump those errors and allow you to resume operations with a clean slate, so to speak. Update your connected devices. Each device that is actively connected to your network depletes available bandwidth. When a device's operating system is out-of-date, it can become a data hog, impacting the performance of the other devices you have connected in your home. Check regularly for software and connectivity updates to improve speeds and maximize your experience. Learn more: WifiForward.org
April 2018 • Valley Bugler • Page 11
(Family Features) Ever since the day the first feline became a house cat, destructive cat scratching has plagued owners. All the affection and loving care owners shower upon their cats can feel like wasted energy when the thanks they get looks more like hatred: shredded furniture, carpet and curtains. It's a normal human response to be angry or frustrated about damage inflicted by cats' scratching, but equally normal is a cat's need to scratch. Cat scratching is a behavior that fulfills both physical and emotional needs. Cats scratch to stretch their bodies, maintain their hunting and climbing skills, groom their claws and mark their territory, showing they're in a safe space. However, these behaviors cats exhibit to establish a safe living space can be anything but pleasant for their human companions. This can lead frustrated owners to take drastic measures to modify behavior, but those decisions can be risky, especially when it comes to a permanent and potentially harmful practice like declawing. Many pet owners believe that declawing their cats is a harmless and quick fix for unwanted scratching, similar to trimming one's nails. However, if a declawing procedure were performed on a human being, it would be like cutting off each finger at the last knuckle. "Not only does the practice cause pain, it removes an important selfdefense tool and the surgery itself poses risks related to anesthesia and infection," said Dr. Valarie V. Tynes, president of the American College of Veterinary Behaviorists, licensed veterinarian and veterinary services specialist at Ceva Animal
Adorable Adoptee Meet: 'Whisper'
Health. "All of this can lead to behavioral issues that may be worse than a shredded couch." Declawing is an irreversible measure to address a normal behavioral issue in cats. Declawed cats may be less likely to use a litter box, more likely to bite and the disruption of the natural scratching behavior can cause lasting physiological problems. Cat owners are encouraged to consider humane alternatives. That sentiment is echoed by national organizations such as the American Association for Feline Practitioners, which deems the practice of declawing an ethically controversial procedure that is not medically necessary in most instances. In fact, declawing cats is now illegal in several U.S. cities. Find alternatives to declawing, and other cat-scratching solutions, at the website: savethecouches.com 5 Alternatives to Declawing 1. Routinely trim nails 2. Create scratch-friendly zones 3. Reinforce off-limits areas 4. Consult a behaviorist 5. Eliminate negative reinforcements
Sudoku Puzzle Answer from p.9
'Mia' - 4yr old Border Collie mix Ready for a forever Home!
Meet Whisper, a gentle girl, who meets new people easily, and loves everyone she meets. She is midsize, only weighs about 40-45#. She knows basic obedience and is eager to please. She knows her name and has good recall. She is an athletic girl, loves playing fetch but will kill a tennis ball in less that 5 minutes if left alone. Whisper is ok with most cats but appears to NOT like the orange ones in the foster home, although even when
she chases, she is not aggressive...just enjoys the chase. Whisper needs a fenced yard but is VERY respectful of boundaries. She is fine in xpen that is only 30" tall. Whisper loves to sleep on the bed but is also fine in a crate. She is very sweet and affectionate girl. She is spayed, current on her vaccinations, and microchipped. For more information about Whisper, please contact her foster mom at scubagranny@kalama.com
Page 12 • Valley Bugler • April 2018