Page 2 • Valley Bugler • May 2017
From the Editor’s Desk It's just not funny anymore. I think you all can agree. This rain, cold and dreary weather is horrid. Last week at pickup time for my son at his elementary school I could see my breath. This is at 3pm, mind you. It's just not funny anymore. We are all holding onto hope that this summer will redeem our hideous winter and spring. Here's praying, everyone. And fingers and toes crossed, just for good measure. With the outlook of weather, it's causing many to be wary of scheduling anything outdoor for Mother's Day. Good news is that Mother's Day is later this year, falling on Sunday May 14th. There's a chance we might see some nicer weather for this special occasion. Mother's Day is a tough one for me now. With mom's death, my passion for this day has somewhat dimmed. Of course I enjoy my own children, and their precious gifts....but it will never be the same as being able to celebrate my own mother. Perhaps you are in that boat. Missing mom, no matter how many years ago she passed away. It's tough, yet I'm finding happy ways to remember the wonderful mother she was in my life through special photos and a memory gift. The memory gift is something I recently just decided to make in her honor. It's going to be an annual gift that I create or build, in her honor on Mother's Day. If you are one of the millions who are missing your mother this Mother's Day, be comforted in knowing you are not alone. The absolutely adorable cover photo this month is a nod to my mom. It's her and my dad, dressed up for my daughters' birthday party, of which I'm sure my mom cohersed my dad into wearing that ridiculous purple outfit. ☺ The smiles on their grand-daughters' faces says it all, doesn't it? Such love. ♥ This is my "creation" for
mom this year, if you hadn't already guessed. My mom made it into the age of "being a Senior", and she was so happy about it, let me tell you! "You won't believe the discounts I get on Tuesdays!" she would exclaim, sharing her joy of finding deals that no one on this planet could find. On Tuesdays, no less. Being a senior definitely has its perks, discounts as one of those benefits. It is also accompanied by additional stressors, such as more serious topics as end of life planning, retirement ability, long term care insurance, only to name a few. Growing up isn't always what it's cracked up to be, as most seniors will be quick to tell the 'young folk'. That's why there are a few pages dedicated to 'Everything Seniors' this month, with articles on health, planning and even a few jokes for good measure. Do you have a senior in your life? Neighbor, parent, uncle, grandparent, or friend? After you have read through this copy of the Bugler, go ahead and pass it along. Most people that I speak with mention that they pick their copy up at their favorite location, and then give it to other family members or friends. Once, a lady told me she sent her copies of the Bugler all the way to Iraq, where her son was stationed. Apparently, the troop requested their "Bugler paper" whenever it was available. It is my hope that the Valley Bugler fills some educational or informational void in everyone's lives, whether it be learning about senior retirement options, or reading a good joke you've never heard before. We could all use a good laugh after the winter and spring we've had.
Publication Information Valley Bugler, LLC
Longview, WA (360)414-1246 www.ValleyBugler.com eMail: editor@valleybugler.com
Editor/Publisher...................................Michelle Myre Web Manager ....................................Oscar Myre IV Cover Design ....................................Oscar Myre IV *Mother's Day Graphic by Freepix.com Distribution .........................................Diana Jones Advertising Sales...............................Michelle Myre Columnists...........................................Listed below Blake Peterson - Movie Reviews Georgia Butterfield - Adorable Adoptee /valleybuglernewspaper Georgia Cox - Castle Rock Seniors Oscar Myre IV - Geek Speak Paddy Elkins - Fruits & Nuts Pat Nelson - Windows on Woodland **The Valley Bugler newspaper publishes content supplied from columnists, and is not responsible for factual mistakes or anything other than the occasional spelling error. The Valley Bugler retains a neutral stance on ads, issues and articles printed, unless otherwise stated.**
EMAIL: EDITOR@VALLEYBUGLER.COM Facebook.com/valleybuglernewspaper
Michelle Myre Publisher / Editor
Happy Mot her's Day! May 14
Enter to WIN a Family Pack of 4 FREE TICKETS to see the show, 'Leaving Iowa' at Love Street Playhouse. ($82 value) Contest is @ FaceBook.
"Tell us your funniest Family Vacation memory or story and WIN!" Winners chosen May 2nd. Enter online at:
facebook.com/valleybuglernewspaper
May 2017 • Valley Bugler • Page 3
Ryderwood Spring Fair 'Leaving Iowa' runs May 5-21
Plan a visit to Ryderwood this May for their Annual Spring Fair. Creators of fine hand-crafted arts and crafts are invited to participate in Ryderwood’s annual Spring Arts & Crafts Fair on May 19 & 20, 2017. Community Hall’s two large rooms at 305 Morse St. can be accommodate 30+ vendors. The cost is $30 for a 6 ft. space for both days - tables are available. “Grandma’s Kitchen” Bake Sale, the fundraiser for the Ryderwood Women’s Christian Service, will be in the kitchen and the Ryderwood Women’s Club will serve lunch
at the Café from 11am - 2pm. Ryderwood, WA 98581 is located in Cowlitz County, 9 scenic miles west of I-5 exit #59 on SR 506. Learn more about this town’s unique logging town and retirement community history at ryderwood.org
National Police Week • May 15-21
Dad (played by Tom Golik of Woodland) and Don (played by David Roberts of Vancouver) watch in awe as a Civil War reenactment plays out (Lou Pallotta of Ridgefield) in Leaving Iowa at Love Street Playhouse this May.
“If you’re not happy, then come get happy!” Come join the hysterics with this zany, laugh-out-loud comedy about family vacations. Love Street Playhouse is proud to present Leaving Iowa, written by Tim Clue and Spike Manton, a fond, yet raucous look at summer vacations driving cross-country in the family car. The show opens May 5th with complimentary wine opening night, and runs through May 21st, Fridays and Saturdays at 7:30pm and Sundays at 2:00pm, at Love Street Playhouse, 126 Loves Ave in Woodland, WA. Tickets are available at lovestreetplayhouse.com Continuing its 10-year Anniversary Season, Love Street Owner and Artistic Director, Melinda Pallotta directs this hilarious, comic adventure. “We performed this show at Love Street 6 years ago and knew that we had to do it again someday. We just had so much fun with the script. And now, with new script revisions, it’s funnier than ever.” Boasting the return of the original Love Street cast, including Dave
Roberts (of Vancouver, WA) in the lead role as Don Browning, Tom Golik playing Dad and Melissa Schurman playing Sis (both from Woodland, WA), Rebecca York (of La Center) as Mom and featuring two seasoned Northwest actors, Lou Pallotta (Ridgefield) and Tracy Sacdalan (Portland) in multiple character roles, this show promises to be stellar! Leaving Iowa is a postcard to anyone who has ever found themselves driving alone on a road, revisiting fond memories of their youth. The story centers on Don Browning (played by David Roberts), a middleaged writer who returns home and decides to finally take his father’s ashes to his childhood home, as requested. But when Don discovers Grandma’s house is now a grocery store, he begins traveling across Iowa in search of a proper resting place. As he drives those familiar roads, the story shifts back and forth from the present to memories of the annual, torturous vacations of Don’s youth. Ultimately, Don’s existential
History: In 1962, President John F. Kennedy signed a proclamation which designated May 15 as Peace officers Memorial Day, and the week in which that falls as Police Week. Drawing up to 40,000 people annually to honor the memory of those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice, National Police Week holds many events in Washington D.C. This serves as a time of networking, cameraderie, remembering fallen officers, and celebrating survivors. During this police week, we can all make a special time to remember fallen officers, and give
journey leads him to reconcile his past and present at an unpredictable and perfect final destination. Tickets are $17-$20 in advance when you choose your seats online by visiting the theatre’s website at www.lovestreetplayhouse.com or by calling (360)907-9996. For information on advertising in their programs or to become a business sponsor please contact Melinda Pallotta at (360)907-9996.
thanks for the ones working for our communities, past and present. Heroes who wear the Blue. 36th Annual National Peace Officers' Memorial Service 5/15 Sponsored by the Grand Lodge Fraternal Order of Police and the Grand Lodge Fraternal Order of Police Auxiliary. The Memorial Service will be held on the West Front of the United States Capitol in Washington, D.C. The Service begins at 11:00 a.m. and is expected to run approximately 2 hours. The Wreath Laying Ceremony will be held immediately following the Memorial Service
Local business sponsors and advertisers contributing to the Love Street Playhouse include America’s Family Diner, Port of Woodland, Columbia Bank, Woodland Truck Line, Lou Pallotta of Chianti Club Productions, S & V Tax Service in Longview, Business Cents NW, Inc., Holland America Flower Gardens, Benno and Klazina Dobbe, Columbia River Carbonates, Erica Rodman with Woodland Real Estate, Lee and Tim Welch, New Phoenix and Last Frontier Casinos, & Lelooska Foundation.
Page 4 • Valley Bugler • May 2017
Home & Garden Show Sat., May 20th: 9am - 5pm Sun., May 21st: 10am - 4pm Admission: $2 or 2 cans food It’s that time of the year when thousands upon thousands of local residents descend upon the Cowlitz Expo Center for the Home & Garden Show, put on by the Lower Columbia Contractor’s Association. Hundreds of vendors display their wares and offer specials only found at the H&G Show, offering everything from fresh flowers and landscaping supplies to solar energy, remodeling, roofing materials and bids. In short, just about everyone will find something to satisfy their Spring or current year home improvement project palate. Teaming up with the Washington State University Master Gardener’s program, the H&G Show will offer free classes and workshops on various subjects that any NW Native could hope for regarding gardening.
(Classes listed here and in full online at lcca.net)
The Home & Garden Show charges a $2 admission or 2 cans of food. All of which is donated to a local food bank charity. The amount of free giveaways and service discounts
more than makes up for the entrance fee. The Lower Columbia Contractor’s Association represents over 200 local area businesses, many of whom will be offering their services and products for your inspection. The Home & Garden Show is the perfect place to come and get quotes for home repairs, discover new products and see the latest models of air conditioners or roofing materials. Whether you are looking to find a new landscape artist for your front yard to increase curb appeal, or talk to some roofing specialists about that leaky ceiling, the Home & Garden Show is where you’ll find your answers. WORKSHOPS • Propagating Plants • Growing Vegetables • Feel the Heat (growing peppers) • Spice of Life (growing herbs) • Fruit Tree Pruning • Easy Way to a Great Lawn • Tips to Control Moles • Basics of Composting FREE Workshops are sponsored by WSU Extension and WSU Cowlitz County Master Gardeners.
Spring Artisans Faire “Spring Artisan Faire” on Friday, May 12th at Cassava’s Fusion Cafe, 14th & Broadway, Longview from 9am to 5pm. Artists will be there in person with their creations for sale. Choose from gorgeous stained glass, photography, jewelry, fused glass, wooden bowls,
metal art and much more! Find the perfect gift just in time for Mother’s Day and Graduation. For more information and pictures of each artist’s work, find them on Facebook at “The Artisan Guild of Mt St Helens” or email their group at: theartisanguild@yahoo.com
The Coin Toss Brian reported for his final exam which consisted of Yes / No answers. He took his seat in the examination hall, stared at the test, and then in a bit of inspiration, took a quarter out of his pocket. He started tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet “Yes” for heads and “No” for tails. Within 30 minutes he was all done whereas the rest of the class was still sweating it out. During the last few minutes of the exam period, Brian frantically started flipping the coin again. The moderator, concerned about what he was doing, stopped by his desk and asked if everything was
ok. “Oh yes, I’m fine. I finished the exam a half hour ago-but,” explaining the frantic coin tossing, “I’m going back thru and checking my answers!” You’re a WHAT? Many patients call the pathology group where I am the office manager to discuss their medical bills. One irate woman demanded that I describe every laboratory test on her statement. Reluctantly, I complied. Starting with the first test on her bill, I read, “No. 1, urinalysis.” She interrupted me at once, “I’m a what”?
LEGO BIRDHOUSE BUILDING COMPETITION NEW this year to the Home & Garden Show is the LEGO Birdhouse Building Competition. For ages 5-12, complete with prizes for top winners! The competition is held on Saturday, May 20th at the Home & Garden Show. Pre-registration is required, and found online at: www.lcca.net Ages 5-8 will have a check in time of 10:30am with the competition beginning at 11:00am. Judging will take
place at 12:00pm with winners announced at 12:30pm. Ages 9-12 will begin their check in process at 1:30pm, with competition beginning at 2:00pm, judging at 3:00pm and winners announced at 3:30pm. This super fun and friendly competition is sponsored by: Top Guard Roofing, New Rock Homes, Bricks & Minifigs and Longview Parks & Rec. CALL 442-5400 with questions.
☺☺☺☺☺
FUNNY Texts between mom and kids
May 2017 • Valley Bugler • Page 5
Toledo Lions Club KID'S Fishing Derby Kid's fishing Derby May 13 • Ages 0-14 South Lewis County Pond in Toledo from 8:00am-1:00pm. Derby Registration in $10.00 per vehicle and $1.00 wristband. All proceeds go to the TLC Outdoor
Recreational Scholarship. This is a skills event and many prizes will be awarded with the top prize donated by Gary Loomis and Bob's Sporting Goods. Bring your own pole and tackle and try to catch a prize fish!
Love Street Playhouse Auditions for “Always…Patsy Cline” What: "Always…Patsy Cline" AUDITIONS When: Monday, May 15th, 7:00pm Where: Love Street Playhouse 126 Loves Ave Woodland, WA 98674 www.lovestreetplayhouse.com Volunteer - No Pay Cold readings from the script. No monologues required. No appointments. Arrive a few minutes before 7pm to fill out paperwork. You can send info online from website audition page. Bring headshot (non-professional is fine), Personal Calendar (check for date conflicts), Theater Resume. You will fill out a short information sheet upon arrival. Plan on staying for entire block of time, unless prearranged. WOMEN’S ROLES LOUISE SEGER: 40-60, A Texas housewife and fan of Patsy Cline. The role of Patsy Cine has been cast. Rehearsals
Rehearsals start late summer and run 3-4 times per week until show opens in October. Number of rehearsals dependent on size of role and can be flexible. Bring conflict dates to auditions. Performances: October, 2017 at the Lewis River Golf Course Written by Ted Swindley Musical and Stage Director: Tony Bump Produced by Melinda and Lou Pallotta THE SETTING: The action of the play takes place at Louise’s kitchen table and at various places from Patsy Cline’s career, including The Grand Ole Opry, The Arthur Godfrey Show, The Esquire Ballroom, and a Houston radio station. The time is the past (circa 1957-63) to the present. Louise is sharing her memories of many years ago. Like her memories, Louise is timeless; stuck somewhere in the era of Patsy Cline’s short but stellar career. (Email for questions:) melinda@lovestreetplayhouse.com
An Animal's Lighter Side Installing a Carpet A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. ''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.'' ''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my parakeet.''
Dog Property Rules 1. If I like it, it's mine. 2. If its in my mouth, it's mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it's mine. 4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. 5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine. 6. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway. 7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine. 8. If I saw it first, it's mine. 9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine. 10. If it's broken, it's yours.
By Paddy Elkins Valley Bugler Columnist
Three Helpful Words
Recently, I made an astounding discovery - "accidentally", and here it is: When I say: "I'm over it!" with humor, sincerity and gusto, I can derail frustration, anger and bitterness before they gain a foothold in my soul and have a chance to ruin my day. As I said, this discovery was made recently and accidentally, because until I spontaneously said: "I'm over it!" for the very first time a few weeks back, I had no idea the beneficial effect those words would have on me. BUT, they absolutely defused a potentially volatile situation I was dealing with that day, and helped me to feel "detached enough" from whatever problem had been escalating and causing my emotions to go "haywire", to allow me to regain my composure and recover my emotional equilibrium before I said or did anything I probably would have regretted.
Since that day, I have found myself deliberately saying: "I'm over it!" several times a day as a way to cheer myself up and to prevent me from getting too stressed out about anything or mired down into all sorts of "garbage feelings" that I simply don't want in my life. So, if you, too, struggle with feelings of anger and frustration at times, and long for as much mental, emotional and physical freedom and flexibility as possible, I encourage you to adopt this helpful little phrase and to use it whenever you feel the need. But if you could care less about this awesome discovery of mine, and have no intention of incorporating it into your everyday life, that's OK, too. "I'm over it!" ☺ Paddy Elkins invites your feedback! You may Email her at: paddyelkins@gmail.com or call her at 360-751-5231.
Page 6 • Valley Bugler • May 2017
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can Submitted by Georgia Cox MAY Events Every Monday: Our delectable Cinnamon Rolls and coffee will be served to the public from 10am to NOON. Suggested donation is only $1.50 for these delicious concessions. A great way to start your week!
fun Pinochle games are played in the Center later at 7pm and open to all who are interested! Every Friday: Lunches by reservation only, will be served in the Center at NOON. Must Reserve by calling 636-2118 by Monday. Every Saturday: BINGO! games will be played from 1pm - 3pm.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
'The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball' ~Doug Larson
Every Monday, Wednesday & Friday: Get that heart rate up and get healthy with the new SENIOR YOGA starting at 8:15am! Exercise class will be from 9:30am-10:30am. Every 1st and 3rd Tuesday: Write Your Life Story group will meet in the Center from 12:30pm - 3pm. Every Wednesday: CAP offers Nutrition Meals for Seniors at the Center at NOON. Suggested donation is $3.00, PLEASE call #6362118 (by Monday) for reservations. Pape Tole classes are offered from 1pm - 3pm. Every Thursday: Quilting projects will take place from 10am - 2pm and
Please come and join in for a fun afternoon. SPECIAL EVENTS: Tuesday, May 9th: Superintendent Jim Mabbott, Castle Rock School District, will share with us the "State of the District". Program begins at 11am, followed by a potluck lunch at noon. Thursday, May 18th: Commodities will be distributed from 10am 1pm. Have a valid punch card. *For all other special announcements, be sure to watch the Reader board. Castle Rock Senior Center 222 - 2nd Ave • (360)274-7502
May 2017 • Valley Bugler • Page 7
Lilac Days @ Hulda Klager Lilac Gardens Lilac Days at the Hulda Klager Lilac Gardens runs through Mother’s Day, May 14th, this year. Each spring, the Hulda Klager Lilac Gardens host Lilac Days to celebrate the beauty of lilacs in bloom. Visitors from around the world stroll through the gardens, buy their favorite lilacs, visit Hulda’s Victorian era home, and shop for special items in the gift shop. Lilac Sales, the Farmhouse and Gift Shop are only open during Lilac Days. (Open through May 14th) Gardens are open daily 10:00am 4:00pm year round. A $3.00 gate fee is payable at the entrance. Children under 12 years old enter free when accompanied by an adult. Each year, thousands of visitors step back in time to discover the 1880’s Victorian Farmhouse and country gardens that comprise the Hulda Klager Lilac Gardens. The national historic site is located 30 minutes north of Portland, Oregon and 2-1/2 hours south of Seattle, Washington at 115 South Pekin Road, Woodland, Washington 98674 Hulda Klager came to this country from Germany with her family in 1865 when she was two years old. She spoke often of her love for flowers and how as a little girl in Wisconsin she would wander Tulips & Lilacsthrough the woods near her home looking for wildflowers. Her family moved to Woodland, Washington in
1877 when Hulda was 13 years old, where they purchased farmland and built a home. Years later, even though Hulda was busy with the demands of marriage, home and family, she continued to find time to work with flowers. ‘The Lilac Lady’ In 1905 she began hybridizing lilacs and by 1920 she had developed so many new varieties that she decided to hold an open house each spring when the lilacs were in full bloom to share her efforts with other lilac enthusiasts. This practice caused her to become known as “The Lilac Lady.” After her death in 1960 at the age of 96, Mr. & Mrs. Van Eaton cared for the estate for a time but sold it after it became too much for them to handle. When the Woodland Federated Garden Club heard it was to be bulldozed to make way for an industrial site, they decided to save it and succeeded in having it declared a state and national historic site. The members of the Lilac Society put in many hours of hard work hoeing, spraying, weeding and pruning in order to restore the gardens to the condition they enjoyed under Hulda Klager’s care. The house was also restored and turned into a museum to honor The Lilac Lady. Much of Hulda Klager’s own furniture has been returned, along with other pioneer-era treasures from the Woodland area.
Page 8 • Valley Bugler • May 2017
Are you a target for fraud?
Maximizing Your Assets in Retirement
(Family Features) No matter how diligent you may have been about saving for retirement, unexpected life changes and economic realities can negatively impact your retirement budget. Sustained low interest rates have suppressed yields on income from bonds and rising health care expenses have affected retirees of all ages. Many retirees are surprised to learn that one of the most valuable assets in their portfolios may be a life insurance policy that they no longer need. It's not uncommon for people to outlive their need for life insurance, and if you no longer need the policy or can no longer afford the premiums, you could consider selling the policy through a life settlement. This is a financial transaction in which a policy owner works with a company, such as Coventry Direct, to determine if they qualify to sell their life insurance policy. The policy seller receives an immediate cash payment while the buyer assumes all future premium payments. Most life insurance policy types qualify, even convertible term life policies. Consider this story about a financial advisor who recently retired from a long, successful career. He decided the money he was spending on the rising premiums for his $799,975 life insurance policy could be used to
help fund his retirement. After some research, he called Coventry Direct and was happy to learn he had an option other than just letting the policy lapse. He sold his policy through a life settlement for $25,000, which was more than four times the value he would have received if he surrendered the policy back to the insurance company. If you don't own a life insurance policy or still need your coverage, you may want to evaluate the real estate you own. Think about downsizing to a smaller home or selling other property you no longer need. Many retirees discover that they have significant equity tied up in real estate equity that could be used to help fund expenses. Another useful exercise is reviewing your investments. If your retirement income is failing to produce the amount needed to maintain your lifestyle, you may need to rebalance your portfolio in order to meet your changing needs. If you find your retirement income is insufficient, there are options available to maximize your assets. For many retirees, an existing life insurance policy may be a hidden asset that can be utilized to generate cash. To learn more about life settlements, visit: coventrydirect.com/lifesettlements Or call 888-858-9344.
No question about it. Some age 55-plus Americans have the most financial savvy of any group. But some that age and older are targeted for various types of fraud. They have income, savings, are open to “good deals” offered by scammers, and surprisingly, if they turn out to be victims, 75 percent of them are too embarrassed to report it. Frauds are easier to report since the Senate Special Committee on Aging launched a Fraud Hotline to help deal with the “epidemic” of frauds and scams recently targeting older Americans. You can call the hotline at 1-855303-9470 or visit the website at: www.aging.senate.gov Frauds include lottery scams where “winners” pay large upfront fees to collect; computer scams where
people are tricked into believing they have malware and charged a lot to “fix”; and tax-refund schemes which may include identity theft. In the grandparent phone scam, the caller says he’s a grandchild in need of big money for a health problem. Then there are Social Security scams, and Medicare fraud where victims are convinced they owe money for care or procedures they never had. Hotline personnel provide consumers with advice on the steps that can be taken, including where to report the fraud locally, and ways to reduce the likelihood of becoming a victim a second time. Utilizing Social Media like Facebook and Twitter are great ways to help raise awareness of these scams, and to protect others against fraud.
‘Cherish your dreams, they are the stepping stones to your future.’ ~Jonnie Knowles Anatomy of a heart attack: It’s different for women Heart attacks happen to both women and men—but they don’t always look the same. They’re not as obvious as you’d see on TV, and that’s true for more women than men. What to look for: What does a heart attack feel like? Chest pain or discomfort is the most common symptom for both women and men. The pain may last a few minutes or come and go. Some people say it feels like pressure, squeezing, or fullness. Or it may feel like an upset stomach or heartburn. But women are more likely than men to have other heart attack signs, according to heart specialists. Those signs can include: *Shortness of breath with or without chest pain *Nausea, lightheadedness, or vomiting *Unexplained fatigue that may last for days *Back, shoulder, arm or jaw pain
Women are also at higher risk for silent heart attacks, according to some studies. This is when symptoms of a heart attack are so mild that they go unnoticed—or are dismissed as anxiety. Silent heart attacks are just as dangerous as more obvious heart attacks, though. Left untreated, they can cause scarring and permanent damage, raising risk of other heart problems. So don’t be too quick to dismiss shortness of breath or lightheadedness as anxiety. Make sure you tell medical professionals that you think you’re having a heart attack, not an anxiety attack. Quick treatment can restore blood flow to the heart and help prevent damage. So be aware of these warning signs for both yourself and others. If there’s even a slight chance you could be having a heart attack, don’t wait. Call 911 and get to a hospital to give your heart the best chance.
May 2017 • Valley Bugler • Page 9
New Treatments for Diseases FDA approves new drug to treat Parkinson's disease. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration announced today it has approved a new drug, Xadago, for the treatment of Parkinson's disease. Roughly 50,000 Americans are diagnosed with Parkinson's disease each year and about 1 million people have have it, according to the National Institutes of Health. Xadago, or safinamide, is an addon treatment for patients with Parkinson's disease who are taking levodopa, carbidopa or a combination of both and are experiencing times when their medications are not working well, also known as "off" episodes. Off episodes can cause symptoms such as tremors and difficulty walking to return in patients with Parkinson's disease. "Parkinson's is a relentless disease without a cure," Dr. Eric Bastings, deputy director of the Division of Neurology Products in the FDA's Center for Drug Evaluation and Research, said in a press release. "We are committed to helping make additional
treatments for Parkinson's disease available to patients." Xadago was shown to be effective at treating Parkinson's disease in a clinical trial of 645 patients who were also taking levodopa and experiencing off episodes. Xadago enabled participants to have more symptomfree or "on" time compared to a placebo, researchers in the trial found. Scientists have identified two small molecules that could be pursued as potential treatments for chronic inflammatory diseases. According to ScienceDaily.com molecules known as T23 and T8, 'inhibit the function of a protein called tumor necrosis factor (TNF), which is involved in inflammation in diseases such as rheumatoid arthritis, Crohn's disease, psoriasis, multiple sclerosis, and more.' These types of drugs that inhibit TNF function are thought to be the most effective way to battle such disease. The downside is that not all patients respond to them, and the effectiveness can wear off over time. More study is eagerly anticipated.
Squirrel Problems at all the Churches There were four churches and a synagogue in a small town: a Presbyterian church, a Baptist church, a Methodist church, a Catholic church and a Jewish synagogue. Each church and the synagogue had a problem with squirrels. The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will. At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves.
The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week. The Methodist church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water slide. But the Catholic Church came up with a very creative strategy. They baptized all the squirrels and consecrated them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter. Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. They took one squirrel and circumcised him; they haven't seen a squirrel since.
Carrots reduce chronic disease Introduction to the Carrot: the versatile veggie that may reduce the risk of chronic disease. Popeye the Sailor Man sang, “I’m strong to the finish ‘cause I eat my spinach.” Bugs Bunny hasn’t boasted that much about his favorite food, but it turns out that carrots could be a life saver. At least scientists say carrots reduce the risk of chronic diseases. They are best known as a source of vitamin A, providing about 210% of the needs for the day, but also contain fiber, potassium, vitamin C and others. It is the antioxidant beta-carotene that gives carrots their bright orange color. Beta-carotene is absorbed in the intestine and converted into Vitamin A during digestion. Like all healthy foods, carrots are more than the sum of their vitamins. A 10-year Dutch study, published in the British Journal of Nutrition, linked deep-orange fruits and vegetables, especially carrots, to a lower risk of heart disease. Study subjects ate about half a carrot every day to achieve a 32 percent lower heart risk. The phytonutrients in carrots have attracted attention for their cardiovascular benefits. They are thought to have anti-inflammatory properties, and that they keep blood vessels
from clumping together, say scientists at Tufts University. Some studies show the carrot peel is very rich in nutrients. Others show that cutting or chopping carrots after cooking rather than before preserves more nutrients. Cooking can destroy some of vitamin C in carrots, but it helps make other vitamins more readily absorbed by the body. Steaming or microwaving rather than boiling loses fewer nutrients to water, and roasting brings out their natural sweetness. Carrots can also assist with fighting certain cancers by boosting the levels of antioxidants in your body. A variety of carotenoids have been shown to have anti-cancer effects due to the antioxidant power in reducing free radicals in the body. Also, Beta-carotene consumption has been shown to have an inverse association with the development of colon cancer in the Japanese population. In addition, diets rich in betacarotene may play a protective role against prostate cancer, and helps kill leukemia cells and inhibit their progression. (Carrot Juice Extract) New studies are popping up all over the world as the intense physical benefits reveal themselves. Time to eat some carrots.
Page 10 • Valley Bugler • May 2017
(Family Features) As warmer weather approaches, so do a variety of special occasions. If you're looking for an easy way to celebrate with family and friends, brunch is a perfect option. Not too early and not too late, everyone can enjoy a hearty meal and good company before the day gets busy. A brunch menu can include both elegant options and classic favorites, so it's easy to customize to fit the occasion and your guests' preferences. With so many possibilities, brunch is the perfect opportunity to get creative. Develop your own versions of traditional dishes by incorporating new ingredients, such as using duck bacon to change up your menu and add some extra flair. With a rich, hearty texture, duck bacon is more like pork bacon than traditional poultry bacons. Made from duck breast meat, it brings a touch of sophistication to any menu item. Plus, duck bacon is healthier for you, too. With 26 percent less sodium and 57 percent less fat than traditional pork bacon, it's the perfect way for you to enjoy great flavor without the extra calories. For an exciting added element, use duck bacon with this version of classic Eggs Benedict. This brunch recipe feeds a crowd and is ready in less than 30 minutes, making it the perfect choice when you want to whip up a quick entree for family or friends. Find more brunch recipes and in-
formation about cooking with duck at mapleleaffarms.com Eggs Benedict with Duck Bacon Servings: 6 Hollandaise Sauce: 3 egg yolks 10 Tbs unsalted butter, cut into 1-tablespoon pieces 2 Tsps fresh lemon juice 1/2 tsp kosher salt 1/8 tsp cayenne pepper 12 slices Maple Leaf Farms Duck Bacon, cut in half 12 English muffin halves, toasted 12 eggs, poached pinch of salt chopped parsley, for garnish To make Hollandaise Sauce: Fill medium saucepan with 1 inch of water (for double-boiler) and bring to simmer over medium heat. Reduce heat to low. In medium bowl, whisk egg yolks until they lighten in color, about 1 minute. Place bowl with eggs over saucepan and whisk constantly until thickened and doubled in volume, about 3-5 minutes. Remove bowl from saucepan and whisk in butter, 1 tablespoon at a time. Whisk in lemon juice, salt and cayenne pepper. Keep warm, covered, over double-boiler. To cook duck bacon and poach eggs: In skillet over medium-high heat, fry duck bacon halves 4 minutes per side; set aside. In large pot over medium heat, bring water to
simmer and add salt. Crack egg into cup or small bowl. Gently pour egg into simmering water; repeat for additional eggs, leaving room around each one for cooking. Cook 2-4 minutes, depending on desired firmness. Using slotted spoon, carefully remove eggs from pan and place on
paper towels to drain. To assemble Eggs Benedict: Lay two toasted English muffin halves on each plate. Top each with two duck bacon halves. Carefully place poached egg on top of each muffin stack. Pour Hollandaise Sauce over each. Garnish with parsley, if desired.
Why God Made Moms Answers by second grade school children Why did God make mothers? 1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is. 2. Mostly to clean the house. 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. How did God make mothers? 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us. 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. 3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. What ingredients are mothers made of ? 1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. 2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom? 1. We’re related. 2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s moms like me. What kind of little girl was your mom? 1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. 2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess is she would be pretty bossy. 3. They say she used to be nice. What did mom need to know about dad before she married
him? 1. His last name. 2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? 3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? Why did your mom marry your dad? 1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. 2. She got too old to do anything else with him. 3. My grandma says that Mom didn’t have her thinking cap on. Who’s the boss at your house? 1. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a goof ball. 2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed. 3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. What’s the difference between moms and dads? 1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. 2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them. 3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power ‘cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.
May 2017 • Valley Bugler • Page 11
By Pat Nelson Valley Bugler Columnist NEW Playground Equipment at Horseshoe Lake. Do you ever pass a playground without remembering the fun you had as a child pumping your legs, leaning forward and back, and soaring higher and higher into the sky on a swing? Playgrounds were a lot different when I was young than they are today. Play devices were made of steel, and swings were held by heavy metal chains that sometimes pinched fingers. Slides were different too. When my family moved to Longview in 1952, I remember being afraid to climb the tall slide at the Elks Memorial Playground at Lake Sacajawea. I called it the "bumpity-bump" slide because it had several challenging bumps. Play equipment has changed over the years, becoming safer and more
colorful. Ellie, Addie and Cozette Mueller recently wondered why their favorite playthings had been taken out of Woodland's Horseshoe Lake Park, but all was forgiven in April when they realized they had been replaced with new, fun contraptions. Even the rain didn't stop them from trying out the new swings and slides. The City of Woodland removed some of the equipment and a few of the trees from the park because they were considered unsafe. Replacements were installed, and a cushioning mulch was added on the ground. A crew replaced trees along the lakeshore on April 28, Arbor Day. Kids have always needed to move, and swings have been around since as early as the fifth century B.C. when Greek artists captured in paintings children and women swinging. Ancient cave drawings in Europe also
COUPONS
Photo: Addie (4), Cozette (3) and Ellie Mueller (6) enjoying the new swings at Horseshoe Lake Park. Photo by Pat Nelson.
showed the use of swings. Pioneers tied rope to trees and added sticks as seats to provide entertainment for their children while traveling. Swings have been constructed of tires, vines, rope, rubber, metal, wood and plastic. When it was determined that play apparatus made of steel was unsafe, softer materials like wood and plastic became popular. Playground equipment is good for physical exertion and muscle coordination. The first playground in the U.S. was in Boston in 1886. In 1906, the Playground Association of America was formed to promote establishing
playgrounds in communities. They became more popular at the turn of the 20th century, helping those with poor living environments to get out into the fresh air and open spaces where they could enjoy the company of others. Even during the Great Depression, the government continued to fund playgrounds. From the 1950s through the 1970s, playground toys began to resemble rocket ships, animals, cars or trucks, and tunnels to crawl through became popular. When my grandchildren were young, I used to take them to the "baby swings." A baby swing was made of a rubber bucket seat with holes for the child's legs. The new "baby swing" at Horseshoe Lake Park is quite different, a large red swing designed for both safety and comfort, as shown in the photo. Playgrounds will continue to evolve, but it appears that playing on a swing will never go out of style. Pat Nelson, is co-creator of three humorous and sometimes edgy anthologies: ‘Not Your Mother’s Book: On Being a Parent’ (Amazon.com & retailers); On Being a Grandparent; and On Working for a Living.
Page 12 • Valley Bugler • May 2017
KIWANIS CLUBS focus their community service hours to the welfare of children. CATHLAMET 1st Tues. 6 p.m. at the St. Catherine’s Catholic Church; 3rd Tues. at Sugar Lillies at noon. CHEHALIS - Thursday 12 p.m. at “The Restaurant” in Sunbirds. CLATSKANIE - 1st & 3rd & 5th Tues 6 p.m. at Fultano’s; 2nd & 4th Tues 12 p.m. Colvin’s. KELSO - Thurs. noon at 3 Rivers Mall, Comm. Room. LONGVIEW - Thursdays. noon at JT’s. SCAPPOOSE- 1st & 3rd Wednesday 6:30 p.m. Windemere Real Estate Office) ST. HELENS - Thurs. noon at the Elks Lodge (350 Belton Rd, St Helens). ST. HELENS DAYBREAKERS - Tues 7 a.m. at Warren Country Inn, Last Tues 6pm Columbia Soil and Water District Office AMERICAN LEGION GLEN HOYER POST 175 meets in Castle Rock every 1st & 3rd Tuesdays, 7:30 p.m. For info call 423.9542. The LADIES AUXILIARY to Glen Hoyer Post #175 of the American Legion meets first Thursdays. For info call 423-9542. AMERICAN LEGION GUY RATHBUN Post #25 meets the 2nd Thurs. of the month at 7 p.m @ Kelso Eagles For info Kandi 423.2504 BUFORD ROCKAFELLOW POST 101, The American Legion, and Auxiliary meets the 2nd Friday of each month at the Winlock Community Building. Potluck 6 p.m., meeting at 7 p.m.. For info Post Commander Wendy Carolan 360-785-0929 or Adjutant Phil Carolan at (360) 785-0929. The FLEET RESERVE ASSOCIATION (FRA) Naval Service Veterans, Navy, Marine Corps, Coast Guard. Lower Columbia Branch 363 meets 6:30 p.m., 2nd Friday, Longview VFW building, 4311 Ocean Beach Highway. Information: Ray Hegr (360) 425-6981 FLEET RESERVE AUXILIARY #363 meets 2nd Fri of month at VFW Hall, 4311 Ocean Beach Hwy, Longview. Potluck 6:30 p.m. meeting 7:30 p.m. Active, retired, or reserve status family members with the US Navy, Marines, Coast Guard. Info 425.4688. KOREAN WAR VETS ASSOCIATION CHAPTER #321 of SW WA meets the 3rd Wednesday of each month @ 10am; Vancouver WA. Call Commander James Mead (360)907-0592 for information. KELSO-LONGVIEW ELKS LODGE #1482 meets Thurs at 7:30 p.m. for our members only. Dinner is served before Lodge at 5:30 p.m. Lunches are served Monday-Friday 11 a.m.-2 p.m. 900 Ash St., Kelso. 360.425.1482. TOUTLE VALLEY VFW POST & AUXILIARY #10882 meets the 1st Tuesday @ 7 p.m. at their Post Home, 101 Hansen Road in Toutle. For more information, contact John at 274.4350 or Nikki at 274.5263. TOLEDO VFW 3429, Reg. Meeting 1st Monday, Potluck at noon, meeting at 1 p.m. COWLITZ VALLEY VFW POST 1045, Tues. Bingo @ 6 p.m., 5 p.m. dinner; Auxilary mtngs at 11 a.m. every 2nd Wednesday. Breakfast for veterans served 1st Sat. of each month $6 each from 9 - 11 a.m. The COWLITZ VALLEY VFW LADIES AUXILIARY POST #1045 meets 2nd Wed., 11a.m., VFW Hall 4311 Ocean Beach Hwy, Longview. Info: Ruby (360)5770414 or Jeannette (360) 414-4053. COWLITZ PRAIRIE GRANGE #737 meets 2nd Wednesdays 6:30pm potluck, 4th Wednesdays 7:30pm dessert. 5180 Jackson Hwy, Toledo, WA 864-2023 SUNNYSIDE GRANGE #129 meets the 1st & 3rd Thursdays. 6:30 for potluck, 7:30 meeting. Call 274.6013 for information & rental hall. SILVER LAKE GRANGE 2nd and 4th Thurs. Potluck 6:30, meeting at 7:30 p.m. Info Anita Morgan 748-8098, Rentals call Claudia Hunter 274-5263 CATLIN GRANGE #199 2nd & 4th Fri. 6:30 p.m. Potluck dinner 2nd Friday. 7:30 meetings. More info: 423-2122; Rental call Barbara Wilburn: 425-5970. PLEASANT HILL GRANGE # 101 2nd Monday. 6:30 p.m. Potluck, meeting @ 7:15 p.m. Community Service group meets Thursdays @ 10am. Info & rentals call Zula Bryan 360-425-6101 ROSE VALLEY GRANGE #953 2nd Tuesday, 1 p.m. 4th Tuesday, 6pm. Info & Hall Rental: Becky Molt 360431-3175 WOODLAND GRANGE #178 1st Thursdays 7:30 p.m. 404 Davidson, Woodland. Info & rentals call John Burke 225-9888 CASTLE ROCK WOMANS CLUB meets every 2nd Monday at 1 p.m. 206 W. Cowlitz Street. Business meeting & program. Public iinvited. Info: 274.8149. THE PYTHIAN CASTLE 24 holds their meetings every 2nd and 4th Thursday @ 1 p.m. at the Castle Rock Womens Club, 206 Cowlitz St. West, Castle Rock. THE CASTLE ROCK LIONS CLUB meets the 1st & 3rd Thursdays at Hattie’s Restaurant @ 5:45 p.m. The club sponsors newspaper recycling. R Square D Square Dance Club: Sept - May. 2nd Fri & 4th Sat. 7:30 pm Plus, 8:00pm - 10:00pm Mainstream with Rounds. $5 admission Kelso Senior Ctr 636-1993 LONGVIEW MONTICELLO LIONS meets 6:30 p.m.
on 2nd & 4th Mondays. LONGVIEW EARLY BIRD LIONS meets at The Carriage Restaurant on the 1st Wednesday @6pm, 3rd Wednesday @6:45am. VADER LIONS CLUB meets 1st Thurs @ 6 p.m. & 3rd Thur @ 7 p.m. at club building on Hwy 506 in Vader for a potluck dinner and meeting. Info: 295-3087 or 295-3801. KALAMA LIONS CLUB 2nd & 4th Mon. of month, 7:00pm Kalama Comm. Bldg., 126 N. 2nd St, Kalama,Wa. All welcome. www.e-clubhouse.org/sites/kalama.com LONGVIEW PIONEER LIONS CLUB meets every Tuesday at noon at the Longview Eagles Club (152612th Ave) Visitors welcome. WINLOCK LIONS CLUB meets the 1st and 3rd Thursdays of each month at 12 p.m. at Guadalajara Restaurant, off SR 505. Visitors welcome. Call 7853744 info KELSO LIONS CLUB meets 1st & 3rd Monday @ 6:30 p.m. in Longview Kelso Kels Building. Call Richard (360)425-5876 ROSE VALLEY GRANGE #953 meets 2nd Tues. @ 1pm, & 4th Tuesdays @ 6 p.m. 1520 Rose Valley Road, Kelso. Info: Becky 575-3977 or Debbie 414-9627 COWLITZ COUNTY VETERANS ASSOC. meets the second Friday of each month. CALL 577-6757 for locations. LONGVIEW REBEKAH LODGE NO. 305 Meets the 1st and 3rd Saturday each month at the IOOF Hall, corner of Pacific and Pine, Kelso, 1 p.m.. Info: 1-866725-3507 CASTLE ROCK EAGLES, celebrating their 100th birthday, meets at the Eagles Aerie on Huntington Ave. @ 8 p.m. every 2nd & 4th Tuesday for the Aerie & Auxiliary. KELSO EAGLES meet 1st and 3rd Tuesday at 7 p.m. Aux., Aerie meets at 8 p.m. Initiation 3rd Tuesday. BINGO MonWed-Fri @ 6:30 p.m. Special Charity BINGO Monday 12 - 3 p.m. Call 425-8330 for info. CASTLE ROCK FREEMASONS 3rd Mon @ 7:30 p.m. at Lodge located on SW First Ave DAUGHTERS OF THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION, MaryRichardson Walker Chapter. rootsweb. ancestry.com/~wamrwcdar/ FRIENDS OF CASTLE ROCK LIBRARY, 1st Mondays from 10 - 11 a.m., Library 137 Cowlitz St. West in Castle Rock WORSHIP & RECOVERY meeting, Sunday @ 1 p.m., refreshments. Positive faith group meeting. 1260 12th Ave., LV S.C.O.R.E. - Free counseling & guidance for small businesses by the nation-wide of S.C.O.R.E., Kelso/ Longview Chamber of Commerce, 1563 Olympia Way, Longview, WA. DISABLED AMERICAN VETERANS: 1st Fri of the month at 1 p.m. @ 1639 10th Ave. 577-5890, and Auxiliary meets the 2nd Friday of the month at 11 a.m. 423-3125 MT. ST. HELENS CLUB - meets 2x week to hike on a rural trail in SW Washington &/or NW Oregon. Location and info: mtsthelensclub.org or 360- 673-2799 NATIONAL ASSOC. OF ACTIVE & RETIRED FEDERAL EMPLOYEES Longview - Kelso Chapter 1070, meet the 1st Wednesday @ 11:30 a.m. at the Monticello Hotel, Longview. Info: 423.6032. LOWER COLUMBIA WOODCARVERS Tues 5 - 7 p.m. & Thurs. 1 - 4 p.m . @ LV Senior Center 274-3175 LONGVIEW BORDER CROSSINGS Volks walking meet on 2nd Tuesdays at St. John’s Hospital, Longview, @ 6:30 p.m. Cafeteria Sam Korff 503-728-0400 KELSO ROTARY Meets Thursdays at 12 p.m. Lunch available to purchase. Kelso Longview Elks Lodge Call 414-5406 for more information ALTRUSA of Longview/Kelso meets Thursdays from 12 - 1 p.m.. 1st - Board; 2nd - Business; 3rd - Committee; 4th - Program; Lunch served for $5 at all meetings except Board. Meet at Altrusa room at CAP. THE SPIRIT OF FREEDOM Christian Intervention program for the chemically dependent, meets Wednesday 6 p.m. at Landmark United Pentecostal, 4333 Ocean Beach Hwy, 360-636-0580 LONGVIEW GARDEN CLUB meets at 10 a.m. the 4th Thurs. Jan. - November; Sept. - Oct. Due to holidays, Nov. & Dec. meetings are on the 3rd Thurs. Most mtngs Grace Lutheran Church in Longview. Info: 425-0755 Lower Columbia Genealogical Society 7:00p.m. 2nd Thurs @ Somerset Retirement Home, 2025 Tibbetts Dr., Longview. Visitors welcome. Info: www.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~walcolgs/index.htm COWLITZ BEEKEEPERS ASSOCIATION meets the 3rd Thursday each month, 7 p.m. @ 3 Rivers Bible Church 102 Harris Street, Kelso, 360-749-9040 OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS of Longview meets Thursday @ 5:30-6:30pm at 1414 12th Ave, Longview. Info: Gloria 360-749-7449 or www.oa.org NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) "Connections" Open Support Group Mondays @ 4-5:30pm & Thurs 12-1:30pm. Counseling avail. Call (360)703-6722 Kelso office: 109 Allen St, Kelso WA Kalamas GFWC AMALAK women's service club 1st & 3rd Thurs from Sept - May at Community Center, 216 Elm street in Kalama at 7:00 p.m. Call 360-901-1791 CASTLE ROCK TOPS # 0740 (Take Off Pounds Sensibly)Thurs 9:30am, St. Paul's Lutheran Church, 312 First Ave. Darlene: 703-5042.
Abernathy Assembly of God 702 Abernathy Creek Rd. Longview Phone: 360-636-1620 Website: www.AbernathyAoG.com Sunday Service 10:45 AM Apostolic Lighthouse 803 Vandercook, Ste 12, Longview Bible Study Tues 7:30pm Church Service Sun 2:30pm Pastor Mozingo (360)219-6109 Apostolic Lutheran Church 248 Cowlitz St. W., Castle Rock Sunday School 10:15 a.m. Church at 11 a.m. Information Dave Kandoll 295-3461
Worship Sunday 10:00 a.m. facebook.com/thefireside First Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) 2000 East Kessler Blv - Longview 360.425.4220 Rev. Eric Atcheson lvfirstchristian.org revericatcheson.blogspot.com Grace and Truth City Church 525 Third Ave SW – Castle Rock Pastor David Beer Worship 10:15am, 749-2289 Grace Bible Fellowship 300 S.10th Ave, Kelso Worship: Sunday 11:00am Bible Study 9:30 a.m. www.GraceIsReal.org (360)423-4035
Baha’i Faith Vader 360-751-2181 Packwood 360-494-4767 Longview 360-423-4105 Lutheran Church, MS Wednesdays 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Grace 2725 Dover Street, Longview Worship: Sunday 10:30am Bethany Lutheran Church www.Glcmslv.net 2900 Parkview Drive, Longview (360)414-4147 Office: (360)577-8240 Pastor Megan Filer Sunday Worship: 9:30 a.m. Grace United Methodist Church, Vader, 295.3402 Castle Rock Christian Church Rev. Steven A. Caskey, pastor 542 Huntington Ave. S, Castle R. Sunday worship service – 12:15 p.m. Sunday school – 9 am (all ages) Potluck every 2nd Sunday Quilting on Mondays & Thursdays Sunday Worship – 10 am Dr. John Leffler, Senior Pastor 6th-12th Gr. youth Wed, 6-7:30 pm Highland’s Baptist Church 360-274-6771 M-F, 9:30a -1:30pm 371 20th Avenue 425-1960 Longview Call for home groups/studies Sunday School 9:00am www.cr-cc.org Worship Service 11:00am Pastor Larry Pedigo 703-2117 Castle Rock Church of the Nazarene 456 Pioneer Ave. NE, Castle Rock House of Prayer for All Nations Sunday School classes 9:30 a.m. 868 9th ave. Longview, WA Worship Celebration 10:45 a.m. Sunday School 9:45 AM Evening church service 6:30 p.m. Morning Service 11:15 AM Women’s Bible study Th 10:30am Evening Service 6 PM Rev. Reo McBride, 274.6546 Heart of Mary Catholic Church Castle Rock First Baptist Church Immaculate Allen Street, Kelso 211 Front Ave. NW, Castle Rock 2200 (360) 423-3650 Pastor Joel Royce 274-4113 & F Daily Mass 12:15 PM Sun Bible Study all ages: 9:45am M Sat Vigil Mass 5:30 PM Worship 11a.m. Women’s Bible Study: Wed 1:30pm Sunday Mass 10:30 AM Cowboy Church: Last Sat.; 3-6pm Kalama Baptist Church, Castle Rock Church of Nazarene Pastor Wes Eader 456 Pioneer Ave NE, Castle Rock 112 Vincent Rd, Kalama WA (360)274-6546 9:45am - Sunday School Pastor Reo McBride 11:00am - Worship Sunday Service: 10:45am www.kalamabaptist.com Sunday School: 9:30am Call 673-5570 Children’s Service: 11:00am Sunday Eve Service: 6:00pm Kelso First United Methodist Church Women’s Bible Study: Wed 6:00pm 206 Cowlitz Way, Kelso Contemporary Service 9:00 am Castle Rock United Methodist Sunday School 9:20 am 241 First Street, Castle Rock Traditional Service 11:00 am Sunday School 9:00 a.m. Wed: Children (Grade 1-12) 5:30-7 pm Worship 10:30 a.m. Sunday Pastor Vonda McFadden Youth Group: Sundays 2 p.m. 360-423-7480 Rev. Pam Brokaw - 274.4252 www.kelsofirstumc.org Central Christian Church 401 Crawford St., Kelso Worship -11am, school @ 9:30am Wednesdays @ 6pm (Youth @ 6:45 Bible Studies - many available Russ Tevis, Minister 360-425-3420 Church Office Community of Christ, Longview 202 Delaware Street Pastor Sharon West Classes all ages: 10:00am Worship Service: 11:00am Church of Christ 300 St. Helen’s St., Toledo, Wa Sunday Bible Class 10 a.m. Sunday Worship 11 a.m. & 6 p.m. John Gadberry, Minister 360-274-8570 Emmanuel Lutheran Church 2218 E. Kessler Blvd. - Longview Sunday Worship - 8:30am Sunday “Celebration” - 11 a.m. Thursday Worship - 6:30 p.m. Pastor David Martin, Senior Pastor Church office - 360-423-3250 www.elclongview.com Faith Fellowship Lutheran Brethren; Church 210 Fishers Lane, Kelso Pastor Chris Leingang Worship at 10:00am www.fflbc.org Church Office (360) 425-4390 Fathers House Church 1315 Commerce Ave, Longview Worship Sundays: 9am, 10:30am Pastor Chuck Tilton 423-7826 www.FathersHouseChurch.com Fireside Fellowship 271 Atmore Road, Toutle
Lexington Bible Fellowship 98 Garden Street, Kelso (Lexington) Sunday school @ 9:45am Sunday worship @ 11am Pastor Jerry Hancuff www.lexingtonbible.org Life Center Corner of Rock & Pine in Centralia Sundays at 10:30am or Oyler Rd & Hwy 12 in Ethel Sundays 9:00am 360-736-5898 www.yourlifecenter.com
New and Living Way Church 951 Delaware St., Longview Sundays 10am & 6pm Wednesdays 7pm 703-3340 newandlivingwaychurch.org Oak Point Community Church 445 Oakpoint Rd, Longview Sunday School 9:30 a.m. Sunday Service 11 a.m. & 6 p.m. Thursday Bible Study 7 p.m. Pastor Doug McMurray #577-6037
The Rock Meeting at 1955 Huntington Ave S, Castle Rock Worship 10 a.m. every Sunday Wednesday @ 7pm Service Pastors Jerry & Angie Hughes 274.7480 Rose Valley Friends Church 1437 Rose Valley Rd. Kelso 360-425-3222 Church Office 9:30am Sunday School Hour for all 10:45am Worship Service 5:00pm - 7:00pm Valley Youth Group 6-8pm Wednesday-JValley Youth 6-8pm -Sunday-JValley Youth Ryderwood Community Church,
315 Jackson St. PO Box 161, Ryderwood, Pastor Bill Bowlby, 360-295-3962 Service Opportunities 11 am Sunday
St. Mary Catholic Church 120 Powell Rd., Castle Rock 274.7404 W & Th Daily Mass 8:30A Sunday Mass 8:30A St. Matthew’s Episcopal Church 412 Pioneer Ave., Box 1467 Castle Rock Worship 10 a.m. Sunday - 274.9393 St. Paul Lutheran Church 312 First Ave. SW, PO Box 847, Castle Rock 274.6604 9 & 11am Sunday Worship. Adult Study & Sunday School 10:10am Tues 10:30am Text Study Wed: 5:30pm Youth Group Wed: 7:30pm Adult Bible Study Pastor Bob Sinclair St. Rose Catholic Church 2571 Nichols Blvd Longview, WA 360-425-4660 The Salvation Army Church 1639 10th Ave, Longview Sunday School @ 9:45am Holiness Meeting @ 11:00am 360-423-3992 St. Stephens Episcopal 1428 - 22nd, Longview WA Office: (360)423-5600 Sunday Worship: 8:00am & 10:00am www.sslv.org Seventh Day Adventist Church 7531 Old Pacific Hwy -Castle Rock Worship 11 a.m. Saturday Pastor Ben Moore 274.6090
Seventh Day Adventist Church 77 Solomon Road, Kelso WA Office: (360)423-7344 Saturday Worship: 11:05am Pastor Marcia Stone journeyadventist.com Living Hope Church 2711 NW Andreson, Vancouver Stella Lutheran Chapel 11:00am Sundays 124 Sherman Road, Longview Pastor Dean Jenks (360)944-3905 Pastor Carol Plummer Sunday Worship 10:00 am Longview Church of Christ Office (360) 423-3795 (Wed. Only) 2219 50th Ave. Sunday Bible Class Toledo New Life Assembly of God 9:30, Sunday Worship 10:30 Pastor Larry Hartwick 420 Silver Street, Toledo 864-4366 Worship: Sun. @ 10am, Wed. @ 6pm Longview Church of the Nazarene Dinner on Wednesdays @ 5:15pm 814 - 15th Ave, Longview Food Bank: Last Tue/Wed of month Sunday Service 10:30 a.m. Sunday School 9:00 a.m. Toutle Christian Fellowship Celebrate Recovery Thurs at 6 p.m 5067 Spirit Lake Hwy – Toutle 360-577-1100 Worship Service Sunday 10 a.m. Pastor Adam VanGorp Longview Community Church, 2323 Washington Way - Longview www.toutle.org (360)274-6305 Contemporary Service 8:45 a.m. Sun. Vader Assembly of God Church Traditional Service 11 a.m. Sun. 302 - 6th St., Vader (360)295-3756 Pastor John Williams 423.6380 LongviewCommunityChurch.org Pastor Tracy Durham Sunday Worship: 10:30am & 6:00pm Longview Presbyterian Church Wed. Adult Study, Kidz Church: 7p.m. 3808 Pennsylvania St., Longview Worship and Children’s Class: Valley View Church of God Sundays at 10am 1435 - 33rd Ave, Longview WA Pastors Dexter & Liz Kearny 577-8951 Pastor Dwayne Cothron www.longviewpresbychurch.net (360)636-6787 Worship Sundays @ 10am & 6pm Longview Pentecostal Church 4333 OB Highway, 636-0580 Word of Life Christian Center Sunday School 11am, Worship 12pm 277 Brown Rd. E, Chehalis Bible Study Wed 7pm, Youth Fri. 7pm Sunday 9:45am / Wed 7pm Study Pastor Perry Hanchey 360-864-4407 / 360-523-8828
May 2017 • Valley Bugler • Page 13
Movie Reviews By Blake Peterson
The Fate of the Furious By Oscar Myre IV Valley Bugler Columnist The Key to Search Engine Optimization: Meta Descriptions There are many ways to optimize your website for the search engines. It can be overwhelming for a website owner or webmaster to properly optimize their site. But, that doesn’t mean it isn’t VERY important. Today instead of giving you a long list of stuff to do, we are going to focus on the most important type of SEO. Let’s get to work and update your Meta Descriptions. What are meta tags? Meta tags are small bits of text that describe a page’s content; the meta tags aren’t visible on pages, but they can be seen in the code. Here are 3 primary meta tags. Title Tag: This is the text you'll see at the top of your browser. Search engines view this text as the "title" of your page. This is important. Meta Description: A brief description of the page. This is the most important. Meta Keywords: Keywords that you can place in a webpage. But, search engines no longer use meta keywords in their ranking algorithm. So I don’t recommend that you add them. Here is an example of some Meta Tags: <head> <title>Home - Valley Bugler Newspaper</title> <meta name="description" content="The Valley Bugler is favorite local newspaper for Cowlitz County, WA. The Bugler is Good News, Inspirational Stories, Funnies, and Events. Longview / Kelso"/> <meta name="keywords" content=“not needed, ~:-)”/> Google and other search engines don’t use your description for ranking, but they DO use them in search results. You should use them to invite visitors to click on your link. If they click and like what they see this will improve your search ranking. What should they say?
Directed by F. Gary Gray Starring Vin Diesel, Charlize Theron Running Time 2 Hrs., 20 Mins., PG-13 My Rating: A-
This is your opportunity to let people know what they will get if they click on your link. Make it compelling AND relevant. If you wrote, “Click Here for Free Beer” you would likely get a lot of clicks, but unless you actually offered a complimentary beverage visitors would click away from your site. This won’t help in the search engines at all. But, if you offer good stuff AND deliver, the search engines will send more people your way. How long should your Descriptions be? It is currently recommended that you use 135-160 characters. Google only displays the first 135 characters so make sure that you have your message in that space. You won’t be penalized for writing more, and sometimes Google will display longer descriptions. But make sure your nail it in the first 135 characters. Can I use the same Meta Description for each page? Yes, but it is recommended that each page has its own unique description. Ready to add those Meta Descriptions? If you know your way around HTML, you can manually enter the unique description for each page. But, hopefully, you have a CMS content management system that can give you a hand. I’m a big fan of Yoast, a free plug-in for WordPress and Drupal. Go and update those Meta Descriptions. ~:-) Oscar Myre IV is currently a contract Visual Designer with Allied Telesis in Seattle. You can see some of his work @ omOriginals.com
GET PUZZLED!
Answer on p.15
Eight films in, “The Fast and the Furious” franchise has achieved the impossible: Despite remaining in the public eye for nearly two decades, the saga hasn’t lost an inch of its appeal. Beginning with 2011’s bombastic “Fast Five,” the series reinvented itself by wisely deciding to own up to its inherent preposterousness. And ever since, Vin Diesel and company have become the superheroes we never knew we needed, showcasing their talents in action sequences so audaciously choreographed that it would be impolite not to feel a little thrilled. Following the finale of 2015’s punchy “Furious 7,” I recall leaving the theater breathless, pondering how its inevitable sequel would be able to top its grandeur. But fans and newcomers alike needn’t worry: “The Fate of the Furious” doesn’t disappoint. It makes for both a satisfying follow-up and an inventive continuation that leaves us wanting even more. In the movie, we find that many of the series’ principal characters are considering drifting away from their sinful, high-octane lives. Lovebirds Dom Toretto (Vin Diesel) and Letty Ortiz (Michelle Rodriguez) have recently married and are thinking about starting a family. Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) is slowly but surely putting his work with the DSS second to his domestic life. Former protagonists Mia Toretto (Jordana Brewster) and Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker), missing from “The Fate of the Furious,” have successfully paved the road to retirement and are laying low with their son. But all dreams of normalcy are crushed when Dom runs into a mys-
terious woman who only goes by the name of Cipher (Charlize Theron). A dreadlocked minx with snake eyes, Cipher only has to say a few words to Dom to make it abundantly clear that this is a woman from his past; she has enough power over him to convince him to betray his team. Time reveals that Cipher is not your typical franchise villainess, but an internationally sought-after cyber terrorist who could start a global crisis with just a couple clicks of a mouse. It’s up to Dom’s cronies to save their former leader and stop Cipher and her congregation of hackers from destroying the world as we know it. Per usual, the sequences of action are electrifying. Highlights include a Jason Statham-starring throwdown that sees him punching out various thugs with a baby in hand, and the finale, which mixes the car fetishes and brutal instances of hand-to-hand combat of the series and literally sets them on top of thin ice. But the unexpected strong suits of “The Fate of the Furious” are the performances of newcomers Theron and Helen Mirren (making a scene-stealing guest appearance) and the dialogue, which can go from rib-tickling to intimidatingly solemn in a flash. “The Fate of the Furious” runs slightly long at nearly three hours and contains a few too many instances of the half-baked, soap opera imitating dramatics that were the weakest components of the franchise before its 2011 comeback. That’s forgivable. Everything else is so uncompromising, so astoundingly made, that we’re pressed to think of another modern blockbuster that thrills so effortlessly. More, please. A student at the University of Washington, Blake will major in Visual Communications or Journalism. petersonreviews.com
Page 14 • Valley Bugler • May 2017
The Necklace
A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Indian. "What is it made of?" she asked. "Alligator's teeth," the Indian replied. "I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us." "Oh no," he objected. "Anybody can open an oyster."
KIDS AND MONEY
The other day my daughter's family went to the grocery store and her husband went in with the 2 older children while she stayed with the baby. About 5 minutes later they came back out, he put the oldest (7yrs) back in the car and went back into the store with the other child. The following
conversation then took place. Mother: Well, what's going on? Child; (grumpily) Daddy's mean. Mother: Did you want to get something and he wouldn't let you? Child: YES! How come Daddy gets to buy only what he wants? Mother: Because he makes all the money so he can spend it on what he wants. Child: Well, what if I had all the money? Mother: Then I guess you could spend it on what you want to spend it on. Child: Well, did you know that tomorrow is Give All Your Money To Your Kids Day? Mother: I don't remember seeing that on my calendar. Child: WELL, IT'S ON MINE!
Happy Birthday, Chloe and Cora! We love you SO SO SO much, and are incredibly proud of the young ladies that you are! Chloe - Wait what IS this?! Highschool next year? ☺ You inspire me with your attention to detail and perseverance in being the BEST you can be! Cora - Teenager...not quite! Enjoy your last year before the teens really strike... Such a heart for other people, crazy crafty intellect and project queen, and ... Unicora! I love hearing you girls sing together, it is absolutely angelic. You are both insanely funny, kind, talented, compassionate and caring towards yourself and others and this world, and we are excited to see the path God has set before you continue being fulfilled! Love you, peekachoos ♥ mom & dad and to our family...it’s a birthday blitz!
Happy Birthday Cousin Halle, Grampa O, Auntie Liesa, Auntie Pam and Cousin Bailey!
May 2017 • Valley Bugler • Page 15
Adorable Adoptee
May 1 - 7, 2017 Celebrating 102 Years! Take part in the event that’s been held every year since 1915: American Humane’s Be Kind to Animals Week. Speak out for animals. Get informed about policies and legislation that can impact animals in your community. Report animal abuse. Animal cruelty is not only tragic for animals, but also an indicator that other forms of abuse such as domestic violence could be happening. Appreciate wildlife. Look for ways to coexist with animals or to protect your property humanely. Adopt a pet from a shelter. Help animals find a second chance at happiness. Take care of your pet. Pets are like children who never grow up. They need your help to keep them healthy and safe throughout their lives. And you know what they say: kindness is contagious! While we know that you’re kind to animals all year round, this week is a great excuse to get active, and celebrate the 100 year anniversary. Here’s some ways Sudoku Answer from p.13:
to do just that: 1) Help fight puppy mills. Most pet store puppies come from puppy mills - large, sub-standard breeding facilities that often times result in poor health and hygenic quality. Double check with your pet store where their puppies come from! 2) Show your virtual support. It’s a connected world, so spread the word about this special week through Facebook, Twitter or whatever social media you choose. 3) Volunteer. There are a ton of ways to get involved! Call your local shelter or rescue group today. Check out 'Mikey', pictured to the right. He's ready! 4) Report Animal Abuse. Animal cruelty and abuse is not only tragic for animals, but also an indicator of other forms of abuse. If you see something that looks suspicious – don’t hesitate, let someone know.
Meet
'Princess'
Princess is one of the most beautiful cats we've had in rescue. And it's just not her soft luxurious coat - this girl is also very loving. She can't get enough attention from you. She wants to be held and cuddled and loved. She will make someone a wonderful lap cat. Her coat is so unique: she is mostly white, but with big splotches of brown and black. Princess is spayed, current on her
vaccinations & microchipped. She's ready to relocate to your home. For more information on Bruno or other animals available: rpaws.petfinder.org 673-7373
Page 16 • Valley Bugler • May 2017