The Echo Week 12 by The Val Echo

ISSUE 1412 | FEB 08, 2019

THE

SKIS: THE APRES-LIFE

ECHO

FREE WEEKLY GUIDE TO VAL Dâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ISERE

M A G A Z I N E

SPOTLIGHT ON THE ARTIST

A TERRYIFIC DAY OUT

COVER ART By Callum Smale Interview: Page 10

PROUDLY PRESENTED BY THE FOLIE DOUCE ART PROJECT Each week, the front cover of The Echo is going to be a different artwork produced by mostly local artists, but also several from further afield. This project is being very generously supported by La Folie Douce, whose contribution is allowing the artists to be paid ahead of time for their work, as both Folie and The Echo firmly believe in paying people for their skills.

If you’re interested in drawing/painting/ collaging/ creating something in whatever medium takes your fancy, please get in touch by emailing contact@valecho.co.uk and we can discuss. Equally, if you’re interested in writing for the magazine or have ideas for a feature, drop us a line. At the end of the season, the plan is to

We want to encourage a community of creators and give people a space to use their talents, even if whilst out here, many are taking a break from “regular life”. Prints of the artwork are available to purchase on The Echo website, www. valecho.co.uk/shop, with profits going to the artists.

hold an exhibition of all The Echo covers from the winter, and again Folie Douce is supporting this endeavour, as it fits with their creative vision. We can’t wait to see what the artists come up with each week and look forward to talking to them about their work and life in or out of the mountains.

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Echo Publications CCK Intergalactic Ltd

www.valecho.co.uk contact@valecho.co.uk Please recycle the magazine once you have read it. Or better still, hand it on to someone else. Contributors: Sam Box, Ben Pryor, Caitlin Kennedy

RESORT GUIDE

26 SKIS: THE APRESLIFE What to do with your skis to give them the kiss of the afterlife. Where do skis go after passing on to the other side.

32 EVENT GUIDE What’s on this week: - Town events - Bar nights - Sporting competitions

36 A TERRYIFIC DAY OUT We went out with a guide so you don’t have to. No seriously, definitely hire a guide, it was great.

The down-low on everything from the best restaurants to the numbers to call in an emergency

SPOTLIGHT ON THE ARTIST

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We chat to Callum Smale, the designer of this week’s cover art. The Echo’s cover is generously sponsored by La Folie Douce

14 OUT OF THE BUBBLE A satirical spin on the week’s events from further afield than the Espace Killy

LEGENDS OF VAL A deadly serious interview with our Seasonaire of the Week. This week, Daisy Leaver takes to the limelight.

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SPOTLIGHT ON THE ARTIST Artist: Callum Smale

First thing’s first, why are you late? My bus driver got out of the bus to have a fight with a snowboarder which delayed things a bit. The snowboarder accosted the bus so the driver decided to accost the boarder. All the passengers were just watching from the windows, like one of those You’ve Been Framed videos. Except no one won £250 and all of us were powerless to reach our destination. Granted, that’s a pretty good excuse. Tell us about the inspiration for your cover. Well it’s inspired by the morning on the hill we had with Terry the TDC Guide (see page 36). The red line in the trees with the drop that never lands represents a certain someone who failed to materialise as he was still… airborne. The rest of the skiers are us, throwing colourful shapes across the mountain. Terry is out of frame because his cossack was so large that he flew away (it’s also possible that I ran out of colours and I wasn’t going to go using any black for him. This is a colour scheme of joy). What’s your favourite colour? It used to be green but it’s made a strong conversion to mustard. I’m a big fan of mustard, the flavour and the colour.

10 You’re in fact wearing 3 articles of mustard clothing. If you could be any type of mustard, which would you be? That’s a very good question. I would say an English mustard, not because I like the English in any way (being a Welshman) but the bright colour and the flavour profile really do it for me. Interesting fact about mustard: supposedly, instead of masking other flavours, it actually makes you tastes things more pronouncedly. By opening the pores in your mouth, mustard causes more salivation allowing you to taste better things like meat. Wow, you truly are a fountain of knowledge. Back to the reason we’re here, your cover. What’s with the boarder? The boarder represents my lost Chinese lover, Huawei. She was sadly departed on the day. RIP. More about this in the gossip section. Where did your artistic talents come from? My mum’s a portrait artist. My brother’s a very good painter. I mostly did sculpture when I was younger; I was never as good at painting. Not sure about that; we’ve seen a pretty incredible elephant you painted at Fall Line last year. Ah yes, the Fluorelephant. That was for the Bangkok Blackout Party Closing Party last year. They put up a load of black and white paper all over the walls and a few of us were set free with neon paint. And that’s actually where the motif of the sun swirls came from. The elephant was based on a drawing I did for a friend’s tattoo design. Can you be hired for commissions? For instance, could you make a sculpture out of old skis? I could do, if I had tools. I could probably make an eagle out of skis. You should do that. Any shoutouts? Terry, this whole work of art is dedicated to you. This cover was about the day and Terry was the day. The day was Terry.

PLANKS PHOTO COMPETITION

Each week the winner of the Planks Photo Competition wins themselves a Planks beanie from the flagship store in town. Prize must be collected within a week of winning. This weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s winner: Josh Armstead Enter at www.valecho.co.uk/competitions

OUT OF THE BUBBLE By Ben Pryor Theresa gonebyMay is in Brussels trying to debottleneck the Irish backstop. Irish President Leo Varadkar was there doing the same but from the opposite end, meeting with EU council president Donald Tusk, a Niles Crane clone with all the humour removed, who said at their press conference he ‘wonders what that special place in Hell looks like for those who supported Brexit without a plan’. Whatever it looks like, it’s probably considerably nicer than the place reserved for someone who allowed a Ponzi scheme to knowingly defraud the Polish people of $234m when he was Prime

Minister just because his son worked at one of the company subsidiaries.

In France, the diplomatic spat with Italy deepened after Luigi di Maio met yellow vest protestors near Paris on Tuesday, with France recalling their ambassador from Rome. The gilets jaunes movement is facing its own issues in deciding whether to run for political office at the European parliamentary elections this year or French local elections in 2020. With protestors unlikely to be of centrist beliefs, thereby taking away votes from Marine Le Pen and Jean-Luc Mélenchon and benefitting Emmanuel Macron, the gilets jaunes might be the best thing to happen to him since his parents decided he could do with some extra French literature lessons round at that nice Madame Auzière’s house. The Donald belatedly delivered the State

of the Union address this week to Congress and a slow-clapping Nancy Pelosi, asking for funding for the Great Wall of Mexico, touting the success of tariffs on Chinese imports and pledging to end US military presence in the Middle East. Many female members of Congress wore white to champion women in politics, including ‘hardup’ but couture-wearing Alexandria OcasioCortez from New York. The Donald also took credit for more women entering public office; that’s like a Plague rat taking credit for controlling overpopulation. A father and daughter in Nebraska were arrested for incest after two half-sisters had competed to sleep with their dad; how very Genesis 19:32-35 of them. A boy in China had to have surgery to remove 39 magnetic balls from inside his penis; just be thankful they didn’t give him an MRI. A

naked Pennsylvania woman chased a man out of a motel and through traffic, claiming she loved him and shouting ‘I’m not crazy’; the prosecution rests. A Japanese man was arrested for stealing over seventy pairs of shoes which he sniffed for arousal; you can guarantee the only thing anyone there thought was vaguely wrong was the theft. A woman with a crush on her son-in-law was caught forwarding intimate pictures of him to herself from her daughter’s phone; their location wasn’t specified, but I’m guessing Nebraska. And finally, putting glitter on your dog’s testicles has apparently now become a thing. The glitter is edible and applied to the region with corn syrup; safe to say every dog has licked worse. Until next week, I’m off to a family reunion in Omaha.

LEGENDS OF VAL

Daisy Leaver is leavering town.

18 I have been loving Inspector Norse recently by Todd Terje. LOVE THAT SONG. The peak is amazing. Maxy plays some good tunes too. Who out of you and your siblings would be first to die in the apocalypse? Probably Max, he would just walk off the face of the earth saying “Take me, I’m done”. He’d probably love it actually. What’s the secret to Max’s fro? I think there must be some unknown ancestry involved. It’s probably a combination of a lot of hair, thick hair and lots of broccoli, he loves the stuff.

Why are you only a semi-seasonaire this time round? Unfortunately I am at Uni so I’ve got to go back and use my brain. I did decide after a month here that I had to stay another; I couldn’t help myself! So you study nutrition, do you apply this to life in Val? Absolutely not, it is the complete opposite. I come out to Val thinking I am going to eat my salads, not eat gluten and not eat dairy. Then, I get here and everything goes out the window. I put on 17 kilos in my first season just from eating beer and drinking chips. Or maybe it was the other way round. Any nutritional tips for seasonaires with scurvy? If you have the Val d’Isease, you need to be getting your vitamin C. Five thousand milligrams a day for three days will kill the cough. Arctic is a great way to get your vitamins! Favourite tune to get down to?

What did you want to be when you grew up? When I was young I went through everything: ballerina, artist, probably astronaut too. I had a list which changed every few months. Can you tell us the most ridiculous thing you have done in Val? Most of them I can’t talk about... my season here was a little hectic. We used to have après at Le Lac with a huge group of people. I bought a bottle of vodka to share with Laura but she didn’t turn up so I was made to drink the whole thing. We went to a bar and I was literally rolling around, just generally having a great time. However, eventually I had to be escorted down the mountain and dropped into bed by the bouncer. Which is your favourite brother? You can’t do this, I love them both! And the golden question, when will you be back? I would love to come back this season but I won’t be able to with Uni. Maybe next year, depends if the boys are back!

OFF PISTE SNOW REPORT Brought to you by Henry’s Avalanche Talk www.henrysavalanchetalk.com Fantastic skiing available but many people are taking crazy risks. On Monday 4th February we picked up reports of 10 separate big slides taking people for a big ride in Val d’Isère. Most of these were not made public. But this incident on Super Arcelle was publicised. Two skiers were caught in a slide triggered by two different skiers above them. One skier was buried, both survived.

The slide released high up on the steepest section. If you go onto or close to slopes steeper than 30 degrees on a bluebird powder day straight after fresh snowfall that has fallen onto a weak layer (like we have now) you are risking this happening.

in Val d’Isere. This ran into the valley that forms the exit to the Tour de Charvet. All of these incidents are unnecessary. There is an alternative. The above photo is what team HAT were doing this week!

Off-Piste Snow and Weather Report 7 to 15 Feb The great news is snow conditions are excellent. There’s plenty of great off-piste skiing to be had, as long as you keep in mind that there is still some instability due to the persistent weak layer in the snowpack. We’ve been experiencing some fantastic powder snow over the last week. Snowdepths are great for the time of year. With so much popularity in off-piste skiing and touring, many places have been getting tracked out very quickly. We’re needing to start walking again to find any clean snow. Even just a short walk helps though. More fresh snow is expected especially on Sunday and Monday. Best snow and biggest risk is cold north facing slopes The best quality snow is on high-altitude north facing slopes. These cold slopes shaded from the sun are where the best snow (lovely cold powder) is to be found. Unfortunately, they’re also where that persistent weak layer in the snowpack will carry on being a problem, quite possibly until the end of the season. On sunnier slopes there is often a surface crust in the morning, following melting by day and re-freezing overnight.

The most serious incident took place in Courmayeur where 8 skiers were killed in a major avalanche accident. We do not have any detailed information on this. But it will be related to the fresh snowfall on a weak layer. The current instability is persisting The weak layer persists after the first bluebird day. On 6th Feb there was a big slide triggered off the Lores There is a significant weak layer due to

the prolonged cold weather in January. This is being confirmed daily by the reports from the mountain professionals. We have experienced a remarkable period of temperatures around -20ºC to -30ºC on the higher slopes, especially in the long January nights. This extreme cold has rotted and degraded a layer of snow that sits under the new snow. Off-piste weather forecast for 26 to 30 January SATURDAY 9 Cloudy mountains in the morning which give light snow towards 1000-1200 meters then clearings return the afternoon with a drier time. Isotherm 0 is located around 1700 meters. Westerly winds blow to 3050 km / h on the summits. SUNDAY 10 AND MONDAY 11 FEBRUARY Sunday morning, the weather will be disturbed. Snow will increase during the day. Maybe showers will alternate with thunderstorms. On Monday, precipitation will continue to progress, easing. Possibly 20 to 40cm snow. Maybe more in places. TUESDAY 12 AND WEDNESDAY 13 FEBRUARY On Tuesday, snow will continue to affect to a lesser extent the Alps and will dissipate Wednesday. THURSDAY 14 AND FRIDAY 15 FEBRUARY Thursday and Friday, the weather should remain generally dry and slightly cloudy after dissipation of some morning fogs.

Tip of the week Often nothing happens. Alain Duclos estimates that for every 100,000 turns on avalanche sensitive snow slabs, only 2 or 3 of those turns will trigger a slide. So often nothing happens. But that does not mean we can be complacent. When a slide happens it is often fatal at least very serious. Quite a lot has been happening with many slides reported this week. This will continue next week as we get more snow. Referring to our HAT framework (below) helps keep your mind sharp by reminding you to apply risk reduction measures to make your off-piste skiing safe. With this weak layer, if you are not sure, stay off and stay away from slopes that are steeper than 30 degrees.

To increase your safety, you don’t need to be perfect, just follow this off piste checklist and quick reference on a regular basis – review it the night before, in the morning before you head out and several times during the day. It will help you make decisions based on facts and things you can see rather than on distractions like ‘powder fever’ for example. So I’ve made this ‘Off-Piste-checklistQuick-Reference’ available not only as a quick review of the ‘Essentials’, but also as a simple way for you and your friends to apply what you have learned, have fun and be safe!

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SKIS: THE AFTERLIFE

There’s only so many times a ski can make an appearance on the seasonaire page before it is relegated to the depths of a dank dark basement and put to the back of the mind. Much like the bag of salad you bought at the beginning of January in a half-hearted attempt at eating healthy and which now festers at the back of your fridge. So what can be done to assuage the guilt of an ever increasing pile of skis that you can’t bring yourself to send to landfill? Make something out of it Skis are made to be seriously strong, which makes them a prime candidate for being fashioned into furniture. If garish chairs are up your street and you happen to be handy with tools, go ahead and gather some old skis from a skip. If this is a little beyond your reach, skis or boards make for great coat hangers or headboards. There are also plenty of companies springing up that take the legwork out of the process and doubtlessly make something a little less likely to break. Art Ski Tech, a company based in Chambery, make some incredible things, like wine racks, from old skis. But definitely their most innovative creations are these dome frames, which can be used as yurt like structures in gardens or for living your true hermit fantasy. Donate it One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Plenty of ski hire companies pass their old (but still very much useable) ski gear on to less affluent resorts who are unable to afford new equipment. New stations in

26 Eastern Europe are always in need of skis and boards. Alternatively, charities like Gear4Guides provide donated equipment to local guides in places with a burgeoning ski and mountaineering industry like Kyrgyzstan and Georgia. Many people in these countries depend on guiding for their livelihood but have little to no access to the vital gear required. This is where Gear4Guides comes in. The charity not only gives donated skis and boots to the local guides, but also avalanche safety training and communication skills, so that they can easily be found by winter sports tourists visiting their area. It really took off several years ago after teaming up with the Faction Collective, who continue to work on providing equipment. They are always keen to accept donations and have a wish-list of the most required gear, which you can find on their website. http://www.gear4guides.org/about/donatesnow-sports-gear/ Recycle We are very lucky to have the Albertvillebased “Tri Vallées” scheme in our immediate vicinity, who have a collection point at the dechetterie in Tignes Le Breviere and Bourg Saint Maurice. This award winning recycling initiative was started in 2008 in response to the rapidly growing quantity of ski gear being chucked in the area each year. In 2017, the Haute Tarentaise area alone produced 28.2 tonnes of skis, snowboards, toboggans, poles, helmets and boots and it is estimated that over the past 8 years, they have prevented 3000 tonnes of gear from heading to landfill. Skis have a very complicated structure consisting of composite layers. So what on earth is done with them? After seven successive grindings, the steel (about 25% of the total mass) is extracted by magnetization and used as a raw material. The remaining granules consist of wood and various plastics, which are compressed into

a solid fuel called CSR (combustible solide de rĂŠcupĂŠration). This is then used in Grenoble cement plants instead of oil. Three tons of CSR are equivalent to one ton of crude oil. Even the by-product of what is burnt, the slag (what remains after the combustion) is used. It becomes a building product for highway embankments. In the end, 100% of the materials from skis & snowboards are recycled. Tri Vallees work hard on providing collection opportunities and work with 400 shops within 45 resorts in France. As mentioned, there are drop off points in Le Brev and Bourg Saint Maurice, but if your place of work is inundated with unused equipment, professionals are encouraged to approach Tri Vallees directly to arrange collection between the end of April and the middle of November. For more information, check out: http://www.hautetarentaise.fr/materiel_de_ ski_usage.html http://www.tri-vallees.com/filieres-de-

9TH 6 NATIONS - 6 Nations: Scotland v Ireland 3.15pm, Italy v Wales 5.45pm. Shown in Fall Line, Blue Note, Hibou, Danois, Moris... Cocorico - Après Ski Live Music: Queens of the Snow Stage Victors - Seasonaire Saturdays. Tacos & Tequila. Petit Danois - 10pm DJ Jack Igglesden Le Lodge - DJ K2 11:30pm-1:30am Dick’s Tea Bar- Industry Night hosted by DJ Megan (Music - Glitter Box) Moris - 2 for 1 1080s. 1/2 price Chicken Wings Next Bar - Michouze (tribal, house, electro swing, techno to trance) Arctic - Seasonaire Wknd Breakfast: Superfood Quinoa & Oat Porridge Pot plus a Latté for 8€

10TH

6 NATIONS - 6 Nations: England v France 4pm @ Fall Line, Blue Note, Hibou, Danois, Moris... La Folie Douce - Too Many Lefthands Le Hibou - Curry Night - Curry & A Pint/Glass of wine for only €15. Served 14.30 - 21.30. Bananas - Disco/Funk/House Night w B2B DJs Rob & Oscar Cocorico - Après Ski Live Music: Hobo Chic Blue Note - Cheap Cocktails. 22h-23.30h Petit Danois - Live Apres Music: The Mardy Johnny Depps 5pm, 10pm DJ PSD Moris - Toss the Boss. 22h-00h Next Bar - Techno Sunday with DJ Azrel+guest Dick’s Tea Bar - Dirty Sunday w Alex Marshall Doudoune - Kristian Ladefoged & Rasmuss

13TH Arctic - Midweek Refuel: Sandwich/Salad plus a latté for 10€, swap the coffee for juice for 2€ La Folie Douce - WTF Weekly costume party Cocorico - Après Live Music: The Trends

Cocorico - Après Live M Arctic - Midweek Refue latté for 10€, swap the c La Folie Douce -La Fol and Treasure Hunt

Le Hibou - Wings Wednesday

Victors -Hip Hop Thur

Next Bar - DJ K2 (Techno)

Saloon - Valentine’s Tra

Bananas - Jungle & Liquid Night - B2B DJs. Dan & Lorien Petit Danois - Live music - Gallie 5pm, 10pm DJ Jack Igglesden Moris - Live Music: Apres - The Mardy Johnny Depps 20h. Evening- Wingmen 22h30 Dick’s Tea Bar - After Dinner Club w/ Pocket Size Dave, Sophia and Alex (Violin and Sax) Doudoune- Mak Loyd

Petit Danois- Live Mus 10pm DJ PSD Moris - Toffee Thursda Coco & The Butterfield IN TOWN - Airstar Nig entertainment and free Dick’s Tea Bar - LUNA Thomas Villard (Tech H Doudoune- Too Many

COCORICO - 2-4pm Happy Hour, Live Music every day from BLUE NOTE - Happy Hour with Hot Gin and Nibbles from 3 to 6pm FALL LINE - Happy Hour 3-5pm PETIT DANOIS - Happy Hour 2 for 1 on Beers and Drinks 4-5pm & 9-10pm. BANANAS - Seasonaire Menu: 3 Courses and a beer/wine/soft drink for €20 Happy Hours 18.30-19.30 and 22.30

11TH

La Folie Douce - TopGunn Arctic - Juice Pump - Do 30 Push Ups and get 50% off Juice or Coffee Cocorico - Après Live Music: Coco & The Butterfields IN TOWN - Freeride Movies with Leo Taillefer and Julien Lange at the Centre de Congres Vie Val d’Is - Weekly Language Exchange. Free French lesson for VVD card holders at 8pm Petit Danois - Live Music - Mullit & The Machine 5pm, 10pm DJ Jack Igglesden Moris - 2 for 1 Burgers. Live Music: Apres- Max Whitthal 17h30 Next Bar - Guest DJ Vanupie (electro, reggae, pop, soul) Doudoune - Kongsted Dick’s Tea Bar - Resident DJs Megan and Alex Marshall (Music - House)

14TH

Music: Les Lunettes el: Sandwich/Salad plus a coffee for juice for 2€ lie Douce Valentine’s Day

La Folie Douce - Suspekt Cocorico - Après Ski Live Music: Wingmen

Bananas - House & Tech night DJ Max Leaver Vie Val d’Is - Jam session from 8pm at the

CCAS. Open & free for musicians with VVD card Petit Danois - Live Apres Music: The Revolverlites 5pm, 10pm DJ Jack Igglesden

Victors - Funky Tuesdays with DJ Joblime Arctic - Tag Us Tuesday: Share your Arctic experience in a post or story and get a free juice shot

Moris-Tequila Tuesday. Live Music: Evening-

Coco & The Butterfields 22h30 Doudoune- Jansen

Dicks Tea Bar - Keep it Loose Planks Party

15TH Cocorico - Après Ski Live Music: The Blazin’ Strings La Folie Douce - “It’s Time to say Goodbye” (to the Scandis) Petit Danois - Live Music Karen & Andreas 5pm, 10pm DJ Jack Igglesden

rsdays with DJ Wanne

affic Light Party

Dicks Tea Bar - After Dinner Club with Pocket Sized Dave accompanied by Sax and Violin

sic - Guinea Pigs 5pm,

ays! Live Music: Evening ds 22h30 ght. Light show, street e vin chaud on main street Thursday with Guest House) Lefthands

12TH

Moris - Live Music: Apres Mullit & The Machine 17h30. Evening- Les Lunettes 22h30 Planks - Al Fresco Apres Session with beats by Biggy and the Gang from 16h30 Doudoune - Kiss and Goodbye by Kevin Delmix

UNDERGROUND - Après Ski Tapas from 5pm LE PETIT CUISINE - Daily 12 - 3pm - Seasonaire Meal Deal VICTORS - Cocktail Hour 9-11pm LE LODGE - Happy Hour 4:30-7:30pm €4 large beer SALOON - 3-6pm Happy Hour 2 for 1 on beer wine and more.

vvv

A TERRYIFIC DAY OUT

Myself and a group of friends had a morning out with Terry, a guide from TDC this week. It was easily the best morning I have had on the mountain so far this season and I am sure the rest of the group would agree. I cannot encourage a guiding session enough. Here are some of the benefits. Terry clearly knew the mountain exceptionally well and so was able to take us to some really great spots that we didn’t know about. He also told us how to navigate them safely and why particular parts were and weren’t advisable. TDC can also provide safety equipment if you haven’t got any, which is a major plus if this is preventing you from going out.

loading. Most avalanches are on slopes 36 that are between 30º-45º and so a little trick Terry taught us is to use your poles to essentially create a protractor. Unless you are an expert, judging the angle of a slope by eye is really tricky so this tip was really useful. Another thing we learnt is to look for feedback on our decisions. There was one point where, due to it being open and below a convexity, we had decided to ski the section one at a time. When we got down, Terry pointed out to us that we had skied over the rubble of a previous avalanche. This could be treated as feedback that we made the right decision to ski it one at a time as it was clearly an area that does slide. It is rare that you can get feedback on slopes unless you actually cause an avalanche, but you can look at other slopes to see on which orientations and angles slides have occurred. This was a really great point that none of us had considered before. Being the children we are, we were very excited to hit some drops. Like the friend you always wanted but never had, Terry would eye up a drop from the other side to let us know if it was doable and the best way to approach it if so. Granted, this didn’t stop me tomahawking after one particular drop but it was very reassuring nonetheless.

One of the most noticeable things about skiing with Terry was that he genuinely Unlike going out with someone who knows appeared to be enjoying himself. This was a far cry from skiing as a kid and knowing the area and so skis where they believe that your terrifying, leather skinned, chain is safe, Terry was fully clued in on the smoking instructor wished you didn’t exist. layers, the weather and the real time snow Terry’s enthusiasm hugely increased our conditions. Even as we were going up chairlifts he was checking what other guides stoke levels. had noticed about the conditions and Let it be known that Terry is a lovely, good applying that knowledge to our plans. He also showed us some basic ways of looking looking bloke who is fantastic at skiing and looking for love. Compliment him on his at and feeling the snow to recognise wind

uniform if you want to break the ice.

TDC are offering 5 sessions for €200 per person which is an unbelievably good deal. 15you are If a good skier and arejaunes’ looking Elysées wearing ‘gilets in to protest. Macron’s comment, take things a bit further, this is‘You the cannot way to beit. pro-environment on Monday and when do

cause it ‘promotes cruelty’; same could be said of their abuse of the English language. US Coast Guard reported a giant turtle, enTuesday comes be against rising fuel prices’ meshed in a rope holding 800Kg of cocaine is the kind of irrefutable logic which goes I cannot describe how worthwhile this worth £41m; bet it was Donatello. A former down like a fish milkshake with opponents, morning was, I fully recommend doing it at but should be deployed against those deMiss Moscow, 25, has married Malaysia’s least once just toand getGoogle a taste.for tax evasion crying Amazon King Muhammad V, 49, after converting to who wouldn’t forego a free internet search Islam and taking the name Rihana; better for theyou cheapest deal in a month of Thank to Terryonline and TDC. hope that heresy app doesn’t get rolled out Sundays. across the region. Sam Indonesia has launched a ‘heresy app’ to xxx report anyone practicing ‘unorthodox interAnd finally, Poundland’s Christmas advert pretations’ of its recognised religions; well, TDC details: passcontact my lover a bacon sandwich. A teenag- has come under fire for mocking Elton +33 6 15 55 31 56his sister on Tinder; yes, er matched with John’s advert for John Lewis, depicting one INFO@TDCSKI.COM that does mean they both swiped right and elf orally relieving another sat on top of his yes they do live in the US. PETA has deOffice in Snowberry Slopeside piano; wonder if he was singing ‘Can you manded the village of Wool, derived from Feel the Love Tonight’. Until next week, I’m the Anglo-Saxon ‘welle’ meaning a water spring, change its name to Vegan Wool be- off to drink from a woolly spring.

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TALK OF THE TOWN

Like Father Like Son

Will’s Dad found the beer and cheese diet to be a bit much when he came to visit this week. Rumour has it that not only did he fall asleep on the La Daille bubble, but he then completed at least three laps before waking up.

Repetitive Strain Injury 2

After we exposed Saloon DJ Jay’s inability to switch up his pose last week, we were sent this beautiful collage of Harry. Thank you Sofia & Thilda.

Bullseye

We don’t necessarily condone ‘longarming’. Although rather amusing to watch, it is a waste of good beer and can be a faff for the bar staff to clear up. However, this one is just too glorious not to feature.

Find My Huawei

Cover artist, Callum, decided earlier this week that zips are for fools. Only after several runs did he change his mind but it was too late and his phone had vacated the loving home of his jacket. After much frustration, he found solace in the fact that it had been a great morning and concluded that “the shred giveth and the shred taketh away.” Too embarrassed to tell the truth, he later told his parents that chest strap on This is this weeks winner of The Echo’s new his bag had actually unzipped the pocket in photo comp. Out of the photographs that are taken every week for The Echo, we will question. choose a winner judged on amusement, originality and ridiculousness.

Weekend at Lewis’

Not one to miss out on a good sesh, Lewis adopted the way of the flamingo at Cocorico. Albeit on two legs rather than one, he managed to fall asleep stood up, in the middle of the crowd. Good effort.

If this is your longarm, email contact@ valecho.co.uk to claim your prize!

SPORT Shown at Le Petit Danois:

FOOTBALL

Saturday 9th Feb: Fulham v Man Utd 1.30pm Brighton v Burnley 6.30pm Sunday 10th Feb: Spurs v Leicester 2.30pm Man City v Chelsea 5.30pm Monday 11th Feb: Wolves v Newcastle 9pm Tuesday 12th Feb: Man Utd v PSG 9pm (Also shown @ The Moris)

42 Wednesday 13th Feb: Spurs v B. Dortmund 9pm (Also shown @ The Moris) Thursday 14th Feb BATE Boirsov v Arsenal 6.55pm Malmo v Chelsea 9pm

6 NATIONS

Saturday 9th Feb Scotland v Ireland 3.15pm Italy v Wales 5.45pm Sunday 10th Feb England v France 4.00pm Shown at Le Petit Danois, The Fall Line, Blue Note, Moris Pub and Le Hibou.

SEPARATED AT BIRTH

Chuck Norris

Snowberry Driver