The Echo Week 17

ISSUE 1417 | MAR 15, 2019

THE

ECHO

FREE WEEKLY GUIDE TO VAL D’ISERE

M A G A Z I N E

A BRIEF HISTORY OF SKIING

SPOTLIGHT ON THE ARTIST

HERCULES ON SKIS

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COVER ART

By Tom Cleary Interview: Page 10

PROUDLY PRESENTED BY THE FOLIE DOUCE ART PROJECT Each week, the front cover of The Echo is going to be a different artwork produced by mostly local artists, but also several from further afield. This project is being very generously supported by La Folie Douce, whose contribution is allowing the artists to be paid ahead of time for their work, as both Folie and The Echo firmly believe in paying people for their skills.

If you’re interested in drawing/painting/ collaging/ creating something in whatever medium takes your fancy, please get in touch by emailing contact@valecho.co.uk and we can discuss. Equally, if you’re interested in writing for the magazine or have ideas for a feature, drop us a line.

At the end of the season, the plan is to

We want to encourage a community of creators and give people a space to use their talents, even if whilst out here, many are taking a break from “regular life”.

Prints of the artwork are available to purchase on The Echo website, www. valecho.co.uk/shop, with profits going to the artists.

hold an exhibition of all The Echo covers from the winter, and again Folie Douce is supporting this endeavour, as it fits with their creative vision.

We can’t wait to see what the artists come up with each week and look forward to talking to them about their work and life in or out of the mountains.

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CONT ENTS

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Echo Publications CCK Intergalactic Ltd

www.valecho.co.uk contact@valecho.co.uk Please recycle the magazine once you have read it. Or, better still, hand it on to someone else.

Contributors: Sam Box, Ben Pryor, Caitlin Kennedy, Al and Abi Nasmyth

06 RESORT GUIDE The down-low on everything from the best restaurants to the numbers to call in an emergency

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SPOTLIGHT ON THE ARTIST

36 A BRIEF HISTORY OF SKIING A look back at the great pioneers of strapping bits of wood to your feet and pointing them down the hill.

How did we get from that to where we are today?

38 EVENT GUIDE What’s on this week: - Town events - Bar nights - Sporting competitions

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HERCULES ON SKIS

An Interview with Gods of Cross Country Skiing on how to participate in this great sport. NB No actual useful advice!

p o w e r e d

Tesla Model X

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We chat to Tom Cleary, the designer of this week’s cover art. The Echo’s cover is generously sponsored by La Folie Douce.

16 OUT OF THE BUBBLE A satirical spin on the week’s events from further afield than the Espace Killy

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LEGENDS OF VAL

A deadly serious interview with our Seasonaire of the Week. This week, Jay takes to the limelight.

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SPOTLIGHT ON THE ARTIST Artist: Tom Cleary

allowed to do that again, that was my hand career over.

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Bloody hell! Now that you can’t use hands, what do you use?

At uni I used to do it on the desk quite a lot.

Don’t tell Leeds Uni! But obviously paper, can’t knock it.

You came out here without a job, how did you go about that?

I was going to come out with a group of friends who are all doing a season, but I got a good job working as a paralegal for a human right’s law firm at home. I was sat in the office one day not having a good time when I saw my mates posts on social media, so I quit and booked my flights. I didn’t have much luck on the seasonaire page but I asked around and once I was in resort it was a lot easier to get a job.

And do we hear you used to do radio?

Yeah, me and my mates did an agony aunt style show on the Uni radio. We would go to Tell us about your cover. the pub, have a couple of pints and plan it My cover goes back to my artistic style then essentially just chat shit on air. I thought when I was younger. I just constantly used it was going to go further at one point as I to doodle and from that, I developed a bit had an interview with a radio exec. I turned more skill I guess. That’s what it is at the end up dressed all fancy, but he arrived in full of the day, bored doodling made to look track suit and tried to get me to have an good! I saw an amazing photo by Sam Box affair with him before his wedding the week that I thought if I drew the outline of the skier after! and filled it in with pattern and colour, that could look really cool. Shout out to Hamish, Was radio the main thing you did outside the skier model! of uni work?

I did a lot of charity work too. I was involved Did you ever get in trouble at school for with campaigning for Amnesty International, doodling? largely around the refugee crisis and that Yeah I actually did in a way. I used to doodle took up most of my time. I ended up doing a on my hands all the time and eventually I year in industry where I worked for a human got ink poisoning. My hand was dead to the rights law firm in London. world and I put my other hand up to get the teacher because it was turning blue as my Wow, that’s amazing. Were you into great nan. I went to the hospital and got put human rights work when you started Uni? on a drip to prevent blood poisoning. It’s No it was definitely at Leeds that the actually a really convincing prosthetic now, opportunity presented itself and I became the good old NHS ay? Yeah I wasn’t really more interested. It sort of started off with

11 hipster Ghandi to be honest. I think art

is such a good way to express political and social problems, it breaks all language barriers, everyone can read art and it is the most effective way of getting a simple point across. For instance, at uni I did this display, which I guess you could say was art. I made a rectangle on the ground out of tape which represented the size of the truck that 80 children died in trying to cross the border in the refugee crisis. Often it takes a visual representation to get people to change their mind and take notice.

Do you tend to know what you are going to draw before you start?

A lot of my drawings start off with a plan then don’t turn out the way I thought they would. That is a perfect way to describe my art; it is very all over the place. You can see that I have thought one thing, then another, then another.

Is there one thing you find yourself drawing again and again?

Eyes, I really like drawing eyes. Not a fan of hands though; they’re horrible to draw with all the shadows on the fingers.

Tell us about hipster Ghandi (check out Tom’s insta).

I spent three years drawing hipster Ghandi, it was a painful process. It took me three hours to do his ear for instance, but I was so happy I did it. I would always do it after school and then just keep on doing little bits. I drew it, fine penned over it and made sure it was perfect. After scanning it, I experimented in photoshop for ages with different colours. I learnt photoshop in the process.

What does hipster Ghandi mean to you?

He reminds me a lot of when I was younger and when I was really into art. Also, he’s just a truly inspirational figure, a modern day prophet.

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PLANKS PHOTO

COMPETITION

Each week the winner of the Planks Photo Competition wins themselves a Planks beanie from the flagship store in town.

Prize must be collected within a week of winning.

This week’s winner: Grace Dugdale Enter at www.valecho.co.uk/competitions

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OUT OF THE BUBBLE

By Ben Pryor Opinions are like bedsheets; you only change them if you think you’re going to get laid. The various, disparate factions of the House of Commons continue to stick to their guns like a 40-year-old virgin, be it in defiance of the electorate, with a reckless disregard for short-term economic risks, promoting a plan already ruled out or anywhere in between. In the middle sits Theresa gonebyMay’s Chequered Brexit, a line of best fit all sides regard with the appeal of a cactus enema, comprehensively voted down

16 for a second time this week after Geoffrey Cox dismissed additional EU guarantees as insufficient to break through Arlene Foster’s Irish backstop.

Jacob Greased-Knob and the ERG refuse to believe that’s as hard as Brexit is going to get; suspect their partners can sympathise. The Jeremy wants something softer, a breath away from staying in; the EU already dismissed this flaccidity as useless without free movement, giving it as much chance of succeeding as Labour’s Venezuelan economic policy. With no deal off the table/blunted as even an illusory negotiating tactic, the PM is left trying to convince the DUP and ERG her fold and poke of a deal remains their best option, with another meaningful vote coming up next Tuesday. Otherwise it’ll be a long Brextension, which is a portmanteau too far

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if nothing else.

Boeing grounded its entire fleet of 737 Max aircraft after similarities were spotted between the Ethiopian Airlines flight which tragically crashed last week and a Lion Air flight from Jakarta which crashed into the sea last October. The Donald grounded the aircraft in the US, as had the UK, China and others without needing to Tweet the video. That said, his Twitter feed demands your attention the same way you can’t stop touching a mouth ulcer with your tongue; more than you can say for Donald Tusk on Instagram. He reached a new personal low with a ‘letter from a British six-year-old girl’ called Sophie asking if they can still be friends after Brexit; only with supervised visits you’d hope. She also drew him a unicorn, conveniently using the same term the EU accuses Brexiteers of chasing; just

call him Sophie on the weekends.

A National Express driver had to pull off a Devon road after two of his passengers started having sex on board; the mile an hour club. An Australian cult leader claims he can cure cancer with breast massages and other stimulation; how come it’s never with a physics paper, or punching him in the face. A Vermont town has elected a goat called Lincoln as its mayor; with an old goat called Bernie as its senator is it any wonder.

And finally, a feminist musical based on the hits of Britney Spears, called Once Upon a One More Time, is headed to Broadway.

The original title was Hit Me Womanizer, I’m a Slave for U but turns out that had already been trademarked for the R Kelly story.

Until next week, I’m off to cure cancer.

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SEASONAIRE OF THE WEEK

When I see the camera, my hand just automatically just form a finger gun, often in someone’s face (Jay literally puts his fingers in the mouth of a passer by- I have to assume he knows him).

Jay Gouveia

If you could be any type of shoe, what would you be and why?

I’d be a Mark Mason because they are from Australia and I love Australia (said in the worst possible Aussie accent). They’re nice shoes, not chavvy at all.

What age do you expect to live to?

I’ll live fast and die young. Maybe 32. How old are you now? 29.

Due to the ongoing harassment of the hard-working staff at the Echo by the pedants of Val, this feature has been (re) renamed Seasonaire of the Week.

If I breathalysed you now, what would the reading be?

Absolutely f*cked.

What’s the craziest thing you have seen in Saloon?

Strip beer pong. There were three girls pretty much naked just walking about the bar. I didn’t know where to look. Saloon is the craziest bar in Val; we have no rules.

Ok, maybe we have some rules but I don’t adhere to them.

How did you start DJing?

From the age of two or three, I used to go with my dad to a club called Mumford back in Jersey where he would DJ. I would enjoy myself so much, then fall asleep on the sofa. I think that’s where the passion came from.

What’s up with your finger in every photo of you ever?

I’ve got a problem with my hands. It’s kind of like arthritis or a neurological problem.

Crikey, not long to go then. How drunk is too drunk?

Well how drunk are you? I have had one pint and don’t know whether to be offended or not. Too drunk is when you can’t walk. You need to be able to get home.

Seasonaires - take note. What would you never do again?

On my second day of skiing, I somehow ended up on a black run. I took my skis off and started shimmying down. A kind passer by offered to take my skis down for me but two hours later, when I eventually got to the bottom, they were nowhere to be seen.

It was a 300€ mistake.

Tell me about the fun shirt you’re wearing.

This shirt was found under my mate, Nico’s bed. Now it is mine. My life goal is to be edgy like a cliff.

Any plans for the summer?

Either Ibiza or work for the Moroccan mafia.

Why do you only have the one tattoo sleeve?

It took me three years to decide what I wanted, then when I got it, it hurt so much.

I was basically crying for three days.

People are always crying about lost stuff

21 on the seasonaire page. Have you

lost anything notable this season?

I have lost my dignity, I have lost my respect, I have lost my sobriety. But then again, that’s a good night in Saloon.

Has anything embarrassing happened to you recently?

I got way too drunk and didn’t get let into a club despite being mates with the bouncer.

Then out of nowhere someone rugby tackled me. I went home and felt sorry for myself for three days.

Wow, any idea who it was?

I think his name was Diego. Or Donatello, or Raphael.

Ok you’re just naming ninja turtles now, let’s wrap this up. Final words?

Mate you ate all the chicken wings... Na but get loose, have a good time, don’t worry about what people think of you. You have nothing to worry about!

vvv

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OFF PISTE SNOW REPORT Brought to you by Henry’s Avalanche Talk www.henrysavalanchetalk.com

More snow for the next few days makes it complicated!

There are a few more unsettled windy days ahead, with a lot of fresh snow especially on Thursday night.

There should be a sunny day thrown in on Saturday! From the middle of next week, it should become calmer and sunnier.

There is a general avalanche warning for Thursday night and Friday with possible spontaneous avalanches affecting the mountains and even some roads due to heavy snow and rising temperatures. From what we have observed be very wary on Friday both on high and north facing slopes where there will be slabs of cold dry snow on a series of weak layers where a skier can trigger an avalanche and lower down on slopes affected by rising temperatures whihc could release spontaneously.

compaction. In these cases the fresh snow will be unstable for 48 hours after snowfall but it is sitting on a more stable base. It is the top layer that could release. South facing slopes everywhere especially below 2400m will release spontaneous avalanches due to rising temperatures, these could affect skiers and roads anywhere.

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Last week was wild with high NW winds and fresh snowfall (often not as much as predicted, but usually between 5 and 15 cm at a time). The wind blew the snow all around the mountain, scouring it off altogether in places. We’ve found some very nice accumulations in gullies and sheltered spots, and windslab forming in more exposed areas.

Even when expectations have been low, we’ve been finding some remarkably good skiing in the fresh snow. Visibility has been tricky at times, and will continue to be for the next few days. It’s often meant we’ve had the mountain to ourselves, and have spotted some wonderful wildlife.

On Saturday with temperatures rising rapidly in the sunshine be concerned about Off-Piste Snow Report 14 - 22 March 2019 slopes facing the sun and direct action Snow stability over the next few days avalanches that might happen. really depends on the quantities of snow that we get. The amount predicted in the In general we have found that there are three zones to think about in the mountains forecast and how much we actually receive can be two very different things. Any fresh right now. North facing slopes above snowfall of more than 25 cm could cause 2300m where there have been few skers things to become very dangerous during this season have svseral weak layers and the snowfall and in the next 24 to 48 hours fresh snowfall will be very unstable both after it. during for 48 hours after the snowfall has finished. North facing slopes in lift Pay attention to avalanche bulletins and accessed off piste with a lot of skier

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Large chamois herd. Wayne Watson

look out for any recent accidental avalanche activity, i.e. avalanches that have been triggered by skiers. Recent avalanche activity is the mountain speaking out, and showing you that things can be dangerous!

When you see recent accidental avalanche activity, focus on the aspect and altitude of the slope and avoid similar slopes unless you really know what you’re doing.

As well as reading reports in the bulletins for your area, and looking out for your own evidence, another useful source of information of recent accidental avalanche activity is word of mouth. When anything happens, people are bound to be talking about it, so listen out.

In many places on high cold North’ish facing slopes above 2200 m cohesionless ‘sugar snow’ that we keep talking about still persists. Fresh snowfall keeps hiding that fragile layer, but it was exposed again only a couple of days ago before the snow fell.

There’s a huge difference between welltravelled off-piste areas where the weak layer’s been well compacted (effectively ‘neutralised’) by skier traffic, and those less travelled off-piste areas which haven’t received the stabilising effect of skier compaction. It’s important to be aware of this difference even when just traversing on

high steep North’ish facing slopes above 30° to 35° which are less skied. (That’s the steep part of a black run). Be especially wary if you’re ski-touring in areas which haven’t been subjected to much skier traffic/compaction.

Off-piste weather forecast for 15 to 20 March SATURDAY 16 Very sunny. Temperatures around 2000 m from -1C up to 8. Isotherm 0 ° C rises 3200 m. Weak northwest wind in mid-mountain, high north-west still quite strong.

SUNDAY 17 AND MONDAY MARCH 18 Sunday It will snow in the mountains around 1000m. At the front, the sky will gradually cloud over. Unstable weather will settle down with more showers in the northern third of the Savoie in the afternoon.

Monday, the sun will dominate the regions closer to the Mediterranean. Elsewhere the weather will be variable with mostly scattered thunderstorms and showers.

On Sunday, the westerly wind will be strong. The Mistral and the Tramontane will settle in their domain and will be moderate.

TUESDAY 19 AND WEDNESDAY 20 MARCH Clouds and beautiful clearings will share the sky.

Tip of the week Pay attention to the avalanche bulletin for your area and look out for any recent accidental avalanche activity. Focus on the aspect and altitude of the slope that avalanched, and avoid similar slopes unless you really know what you’re doing.

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Elysées wearing ‘gilets jaunes’ in protest. Macron’s comment, ‘You cannot be pro-environment on Monday and when Tuesday comes be against rising fuel prices’ is the kind of irrefutable logic which goes down like a fish milkshake with opponents, but should be deployed against those decrying Amazon and Google for tax evasion who wouldn’t forego a free internet search for the cheapest online deal in a month of Sundays.

Indonesia has launched a ‘heresy app’ to report anyone practicing ‘unorthodox interpretations’ of its recognised religions; well, pass my lover a bacon sandwich. A teenager matched with his sister on Tinder; yes, that does mean they both swiped right and yes they do live in the US. PETA has demanded the village of Wool, derived from the Anglo-Saxon ‘welle’ meaning a water spring, change its name to Vegan Wool be-

cause it ‘promotes cruelty’; same could be said of their abuse of the English language.

US Coast Guard reported a giant turtle, enmeshed in a rope holding 800Kg of cocaine worth £41m; bet it was Donatello. A former Miss Moscow, 25, has married Malaysia’s King Muhammad V, 49, after converting to Islam and taking the name Rihana; better hope that heresy app doesn’t get rolled out across the region.

And finally, Poundland’s Christmas advert has come under fire for mocking Elton John’s advert for John Lewis, depicting one elf orally relieving another sat on top of his piano; wonder if he was singing ‘Can you Feel the Love Tonight’. Until next week, I’m off to drink from a woolly spring.

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inside enemy territory and needed to be retrieved. The Birkebeiners (one of the warring political parties) sent some absolute shredders over to recover the child. Thorstein Skevla and Skjervald Skrukka went on a colossal overnight tour in a savage blizzard, bringing the 2 year old home over the Dovre Mountains. Since 1932, an annual race has been held over the same route where competitors carry a 3.5kg backpack to represent the weight of the baby prince who went on to become King Haakon. All this is to say that in 1206 AD, backcountry became cool.

A BRIEF HISTORY OF SKIING

Although there is archeological evidence for the shred in both Russia and China around 5000-8000 years ago, scientists suggest these were just shot skis and weren’t used on the mountain much.

Maybe the reason the Scandi children felt so entitled to come and trash the resort recently is because skiing is widely believe to have originated in their homeland. The ‘Sami’ were the only indigenous people of North Scandinavia and are credited with being the first to drop cliffs not bombs.

Cave paintings show the Sami equipped with bows, axes and other weapons atop of long planks under their feet. These primitive paintings are believed to be the earliest known drafts of Echo front covers.

Skiing started spreading around the world with yet more cave paintings and carvings showing various cultures getting pitted.

In 1300 BC, Norse mythology announced Ullr and Skade as the God and Goddess of Skiing: one would assume they were pretty stoked. Around this time, skis were generally used to hunt and to get around in snowy climates, hopefully not on the roads though.

A fair while later, during a period of civil war in Norway circa 1206 AD, the infant heir to the throne was trapped

Around the 18th century, people realised that skiing is pretty fun and so started doing it recreationally. Jump forward one hundred years and we have Olaf Rye, the first recognised park rat. Olaf was actually a highly distinguished Norwegian/Danish military officer but had somewhat of a penchant for getting sendy. On a brisk day in 1808, somewhere near a church, Olaf nailed the worlds first recorded ski jump at 9.5 metres. Potentially more historic though, was his post on the seasonaire page the next day stating that his jacket had been taken from a bar that night and he had lost his Gopro with the footage.

Skip ahead another hundred years or so and freestyle skiing starting becoming trendy. However, back then it was known as hot-dogging for some reason. This included moguls, jumps and of course, ski ballet. Whilst the latter is sadly no longer with us (but hopefully due a comeback), moguls are still supposedly popular. Of course, freestyle in the form of; jumps, park, freeride and those fourteen year olds who tweak their sweet airs as they blindly fly back onto the piste, is bigger than ever.

Oh, and some time in the 60s, an angsty teenager who couldn’t ski figured he would just skateboard in the winter - but we won’t talk about that.

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PRAISING SKISUS

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17TH

16TH Cocorico - Après Ski Live Music: Queens of the Snow Stage Victors - Seasonaire Saturdays. Tacos & Tequila.

Snowpark - Banked Slalom by Billabong. Free entry from 10am with BBQ at Shapers Hut

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Le Hibou - St Patrick’s Day! Alex Davies (+ Amy) 10pm. Offers on Jamesons and 6€ Guiness all day. Pancakes: 1 for €4.50 or 3 for €12 Bananas - Disco/Funk/House Night w B2B DJs Rob & Oscar

Le Lodge - DJ K2 11:30pm-1:30am

Cocorico - Après Ski Live Music: Hobo Chic

Saloon - Beerpong 2 jugs of beer 15€ 22-24h

Blue Note - Cheap Cocktails. 22h-23.30h

Arctic - Seasonaire Wknd Breakfast: Superfood Quinoa & Oat Porridge Pot plus a Latté for 8€

Petit Danois -St Patricks Day: Live music with The

Petit Danois - Danois/Dicks Takeover: DJ Alex Marshall on the decks all at Le Petit Danois and DJ Jack Igglesden taking control at Dicks!

Dick’s Tea Bar- Industry Night Hosted by Megan B2B with Jack Igglesden Glitterbox/house) Doudoune- Vintage Fever by Kelian Marques

Mardy Johnny Depps from 5pm, plenty of Guinness and free shots for leprechauns! DJ PSD 10pm

Saloon - St Patrick’s day, Mullit & machine 1719h DJ Kommissar 22.30-01.30h Moris - Toss the Boss Doudoune- House is a Feeling by Matt James Dick’s Tea Bar - Dirty Sunday hosted by Resident Marshall

20TH Arctic - Midweek Refuel: Sandwich/Salad plus a latté for 10€, swap the coffee for juice for 2€ La Folie Douce - WTF Weekly costume party Cocorico- Après Ski Live Music: Coco & The Butterfields Le Hibou - Wings Wednesday! Only 50c a wing Saloon - 3€ Joss or 10 for 25€ In Town - Cross Country relay race. Free entry and equipment rental. 6pm Place des Dolomites Petit Danois - Live Music 5pm Gallie, 10pm DJ Jack Igglesden Moris - Live Music: Apres- Mardy Johnny Depps 17h30, Ed Solo 22h30 Dick’s Tea Bar - After Dinner Club with Pocket Sized Dave and Sophia Landgren (Violin) Doudoune - Hip Hop Urban by Kelian Marques

Solaise- Free visit to di lanche detonation work

Cocorico - Après Live M Arctic - Vinyasa Yoga C Arctic Juice. Sign up as IN TOWN - Airstar Nig entertainment and free

Victors -Hip Hop Thur

Saloon- DJ Kommissar

Petit Danois - Live Mu Vinyl Disco Rewind with

Moris - Live Music: Fire Doudoune- CLUB 21

Dick’s Tea Bar - Luna T mann (Funky/Tech/Hou

COCORICO - 2-4pm Happy Hour, Live Music every day from BLUE NOTE - Happy Hour with Hot Gin and Nibbles from 3 to 6pm FALL LINE - Happy Hour 3-5pm PETIT DANOIS - Happy Hour 2 for 1 on Beers and Drinks 4-5pm & 9-10pm.

BANANAS - Seasonaire Menu: 3 Courses and a beer/wine/soft drink for €20 Happy Hours 18.30-19.30 and 22.30 SALOON - 3-6pm Happy Hour 2 for 1 on beer wine and more.

18TH

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In Town - Free Avalanche Safety talk in French and English at 6pm. Hut in Children’s Garden.

La Folie Douce - Discopolis Arctic - Juice Pump - Do 30 Push Ups and get 50% off Juice or Coffee Cocorico- Après Ski Live Music: The Blazin’ Strings Saloon - Bingo between 22-23 great prizes to win! Free to play, Pocket Sized Dave 23h Vie Val d’Is - Weekly Language Exchange. Free French lesson for VVD card holders at 8pm Petit Danois - Live Music 5pm Mullit & The Machine, 10pm DJ Jack Igglesden Moris - Live Music: Apres- Max Whitthal 17h30, Evening: The Marivaux 22h30 Doudoune - Crazy Monday by Kevin Delmix Dick’s Tea Bar - Residents Megan and Marshall

Music: Les Lunettes Class at 7pm with JJ @ s spaces are limited. ght. Light show, street e vin chaud on main street

rsdays with DJ Wanne

r & bass station

usic 5pm Guinea Pigs, h DJ Jez from 10pm

ekind 22h30

Cocorico - Après Ski Live Music: Uptones

Bananas - House & Tech night DJ Max Leaver Arctic - Tag Us Tuesday: Share your Arctic experience in a post/story and get a free juice shot Petit Danois - Live Music 5pm Revolverlites, 10pm DJ Jack Igglesden Victors - Funky Tuesdays with DJ Joblime Saloon - Triangle Tuesday! 10 shooters 15€ Moris - Live Music: Apres- Daisy & Tom 17h30, Evening: Revolverlites 22h30 Altigliss - Ride Her First Freestyle comp- Big Air kicker at bottom of Face with pro-riders 8pm Le Hibou - Live music: One Ground Reggae Doudoune- Friendly Techno, Phil Garner & Guests Dick’s Tea Bar - FDVM - NOT TO MISS (Tech House/Tropo)

22ND

21ST

iscover how CATEX avaks. Sign up- 3.45pm meet

19TH

Cocorico - Après Ski Live Music: Pink Miami Petit Danois - Live Music 5pm Karen & Andreas, DJ Jack Igglesden 10pm Moris - Live Music: Apres- Mullit and Machine 17h30, Lunettes 22h30 Saloon - Open decks

Dicks Tea Bar - After Dinner Club w Pocket Size Dave accompanied by Sophia Landgren on Violin.

Doudoune- Clubbing Night by Kelian Marques

Thursday w Nicolas Spieluse)

UNDERGROUND - Après Ski Tapas from 5pm LE PETIT CUISINE - Daily 12 - 3pm - Seasonaire Meal Deal VICTORS - Cocktail Hour 9-11pm LE LODGE - Happy Hour 4:30-7:30pm €4 large beer TDC Introduction to Ski Touring sessions running 25th March ALTIGLISS - Biggest International University competition week with contests and events going on all week

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HOW TO X-COUNTRY SKI

Marty and Valentin of Radio Val d’Isere fame, always knew they were destined for greatness. But it took until this week for their destiny to be fulfilled. On Wednesday, the duo took to the start line of the weekly Cross Country Ski relay race at the Place des Dolomites. A blizzard raged, a crow cawed before being thrown from the sky by the tumultuous wind. But nothing was to deter these Herculean men, who had a task to complete; to crush the competition and prove themselves the heroes they were born to be. This they did, grim faced and resolute, completing a mammoth 11 laps of the course in 20 minutes, beaten only by every other team bar one. Here is the story of how they achieved such profound majesticness.

Valentin and he will be a god amongst men in the arena of cross country skiing.” It was prophesied What is the first rule of cross country skiing?

In unison: The style.

Marty: Over and above the skiing. It’s simple physics- the brighter your clothes, the faster you go. This is why I was even more lightning fast than Valentin, as he wore black trousers as opposed to my luminesce yellow ones.

Valentin: If the clothes are bought from The Echo, it is a particular sign that you are a winner and has the added benefit of being useable for both Cross Country Skiing and Monoskiing.

Marty: The second rule of cross country skiing is that you must drink as close to your bodyweight in vin chaud as possible.

At least one cup must be consumed after every lap. This is another reason Valentin was slower. He did not imbibe enough of the sweet hot go faster wine.

Valentin, your style of skiing was unlike anything ever seen at such an event. Their were audible gasps. How did this come about?

Marty: Ah yes, the running When did you realise it was your fate to horse. be champions of cross country skiing?

Valentin: Well Marty: Well I don’t remember it of course it is a style from but straight after my birth, my father looked the ancient native tribes of North America. at me and said “You will be a formidable It was developed thousands of years ago cross country skier” but is coming back into fashion amongst Valentin: For me it was actually well before a select few cross country ski aficionados. my birth. There’s a passage in the bible that It may look like I am attempting to do reads “a child will be born by the name of dressage on skis, but in fact, it is 30% more

energy efficient than the regular style.

Marty: And you forget that it is supposed to look ridiculous. This way, he distracts his competitors so that they fall over and then he can ski over them.

winning the hearts of the onlookers.

And that we did.

Val: We could barely pass through the crowds afterwards for the sea of people wanting our autograph.

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Can we ever expect to see another such show of brilliance in the future?

Marty: No, we have gone into retirement in order to leave on a spectacular high Valentin: Also, it is unfair for the common people if we continue. What chance do they stand?

And the falling, is that part of the tactic to bamboozle?

Marty: Yes, but true honour comes not from winning the battle, it comes from

What advice do you have for people that aspire to your level of expertise in the field of cross country skiing?

Marty: Don’t smoke. Training is cheating.

Remember your health insurance card- it’s a dangerous business.

Valentin: Sometimes it’s quicker to go backwards.

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TALK OF THE TOWN Foam Dragon

Das Boot: many have tried, many have failed, few have been proclaimed ‘Foam Dragon’ as a result. Will put in a surprisingly good effort before the beer started coming out his nose faster than it comes out of the taps. Regardless, it’s the taking part that counts. Here is a dramatic recreation of the scene:

Thick as a Brick

We felt bad publishing our seasonaire of the week’s comments about Britt last week, but she hasn’t helped herself. First, a bit of back story - Britt’s Dad is French and this is her second season in Val. This makes it all the more inexcusable that when, in the shop, they were discussing a group of Parisians renting gear, Britt was shocked to find out that they are not in fact from Peru, but from Paris. Just when things couldn’t get much more embarrassing, Britt’s kind and supportive co-workers asked her if she even knew where Peru is. Africa apparently.

Making an Ass of herself

Katie from Planks is well known around town and loved by all for being so outstandingly lovely and for not being able to do any wrong. However, it is hard to believe but we have received a very grave warning about her hiccups, an affliction which she gets almost daily. Apparently they sound like “a donkey is being kicked in the bollocks”

Coming out of his Shell

Derek, Jase’s tortoise who rose to fame after being featured in the Echo, has arisen from his long slumber and ventured out of the fridge. Good to have you back in the land of the living.

Should have gone to Specsavers

Jack from Doudoune may have a few problems with his eyes. Whilst on the Tignes bubble he was gazing across the lake when he turned to the boys and excitedly proclaimed “look at those reindeer!”

However, much to his embarrassment, his mates pointed out that he was looking at dogs pulling a sled. He then allegedly tried to pass the whole thing off as a joke.

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SPORT Shown at Le Petit Danois and The Moris:

FOOTBALL

Saturday 16th March Watford v Crystal Palace 1.30pm Swansea v Man City 6.20pm Wolves v Man Utd 8.55pm Sunday 17th March: Fulham v Liverpool 3.15pm Everton v Chelsea 5.30pm Friday 22nd March England v Czech Republic 8.45pm

6 NATIONS FINAL WEEKEND Saturday 8th Mar:

Italy v France 1.30pm Wales v Ireland 3.45pm England v Scotland 6pm Shown at Le Petit Danois, The Fall Line, Blue Note, Moris Pub and Le Hibou.

SEPARATED AT BIRTH

Alex Allen

Alex Allen

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