Different Deliveries: Celebrating All Kinds of Childbirth

By Emily Corak

While nine months pregnant, my son flipped and lodged his head near my rib cage, refusing to come down. My doctor warned me that if he didn’t assume a headdown position by his due date, I would be scheduled for a cesarean section. I tried everything: swimming, assisted handstands, acupuncture, essential oils and sheer will power. I scoured the internet for solutions in any attempt to avoid a major abdominal surgery.

I was nervous about surgery, of course, but I was more worried that I’d be missing out on a critical part of the birthing experience. Three years earlier, I’d given birth to my daughter after 32 hours of labor, a manual breaking of my water and intense contractions before the sweet relief of an epidural. It was demanding and excruciating, but I’d felt a sense of triumph and pride afterwards. Would I still feel that same elation if this baby was surgically removed? Would recovery be too hard? Would I feel that same connection? I worried about these things as I neared closer and closer to the inevitable.

Unfortunately, no amount of peppermint oil or shots to my little toe would encourage this baby to move, so into the operating room I went. Within an hour of prepping for surgery, my doctor held up a gorgeous baby boy and I truly didn’t care how he’d gotten there. While finishing the procedure, my options to hold him were limited, so my husband held him close for me to smell him and kiss his face.

Minutes later, in the recovery room, I held him and quickly abandoned any worries of feeling disconnected. It was a different birthing experience from my first one entirely, but I still felt pride. It was still hard, just a different type of hard. Recovery was challenging in both circumstances, while one required mesh underwear and donut pillows, the other called for medication and incision care. After each, I was too immersed by the all-consuming task of caring for a newborn to worry whether one birthing experience had more merit. After my own contrasting experiences and speaking to many others willing to share their stories, I firmly believe there is no easy or wrong way to bring a child into the world or into our lives. Whether a child comes to us through the birthing canal, C-section, medicated or unmedicated births, through surrogacy or adoption, all are valid, all are challenging—and no two are alike.

Mother Knows Best

After giving birth for the first time in 1989, and finally with her fourth child in 2004, Julie Myers can attest to how times have changed. “With my first child,” she said, “I had to labor in the waiting room because I wasn’t allowed to leave the hospital grounds once contractions had started.” By the time she came to the hospital to deliver baby number four on her 40th birthday, she was encouraged to go home and wait in the bath. “By this time, I knew my body and I knew the baby was coming,” she said, “so I insisted on staying and I had a 10-pound baby 30 minutes after they told me to go home.”

As Myers found, relying on medical advice while trusting a mother’s intuition is a delicate balance. Luckily, many people are willing to share their philosophies and experiences to support new parents preparing for this miraculous process of childbirth.

I recently spoke about this with Dr. Lisa Gibbons, an OBGYN at Cascadia continued on next page continued from previous page

Women’s Clinic, who delivered both of my children. When asked about how to best devise a birth plan, she laughed a little and said she often advises first time parents to take the time they would have spent on a detailed birth plan and go on a date instead, because those may be few and far between after the baby is born. “The number one goal is a healthy and happy mom and baby,” she said, “And while we hope for a simple, straightforward, vaginal delivery, we will always revert back to goal number one. We too often see parents labor over a plan in a process that is unfamiliar and may not happen due to unforeseen variables. This can lead to expectations that are unrealistic, and then disappointments that are in no one’s direct control. Our job is to help guide them through that process safely.”

Sara Stern, a mother of two, said that after an induction, manual maneuvering, and long, difficult labor for over 24 hours with her first child, she opted for a planned C-section with her second child. “I was asked if I wanted to be induced again with the possibility of needing an emergency C-section, and I said, ‘No thank you!’” Reflecting on both of her experiences, she said that flexibility is key and “it doesn’t matter what your plan is or how the baby comes into the world.” continued on page 14 continued from page 13

In contrast, Danielle Rhodes, a Portland mother of three teenage and adult boys, advocated fiercely for a vaginal delivery after two C-sections. Her first child was born via an emergency C-section after 22 hours of labor. With her second child, she said she didn’t know any better and followed along with the doctor’s insistence in another C-section. Dr. Gibbons explained that while she does perform vaginal births after C-sections (VBAC) there is a small risk of uterine rupture, so those pregnancies and deliveries need to be monitored closely.

After two C-sections, Rhodes spent her third pregnancy reading, joining support groups, and seeking advice of other mothers. Determined to have a vaginal birth, she came up against multiple refusals and dead ends until she found the midwives at OHSU who agreed to let her attempt this unusual feat if she met with a perinatologist. After 12 hours of labor and the operating room (OR) being prepped just in case, Rhodes delivered her son just in time and earned rock star status at the delivery ward for a vaginal birth after two cesareans. “The most important lesson I learned in all of this,” she said, “is that I get to take charge of my own pregnancy and birthing experience. I get a say in this.”

For some birthers, there is no choice in the matter. Alex Moore has a bicornuate uterus, a genetic anomaly, that makes for a much higher likelihood of breech babies and made a vaginal delivery out of the question. Moore said because of her highrisk situation, she didn’t have an overattachment to how the babies were born. “I just wanted to focus on making it to the finish line,” she said.

Pain Management

Even when surgery is not required, intended birth plans might not play out as anticipated. Sara Maspaitella intended to have an epidural. After her water broke with her first child, she took a bath, shaved her legs and braced herself for a long wait. After checking in at the hospital with almost no dilation, her son was delivered within the hour by her husband and a nurse before the doctor could even make it. The second time around, Maspaitella was set to deliver twins, which are typically delivered in an OR to prepare for any possible complications. Again, Maspaitella dilated from four to 10 centimeters in a matter of minutes and delivered the first baby on a gurney in the hallway. She was offered an epidural to prepare for the second baby but figured the path had already been paved. Without an epidural she was able to walk around with relative ease, had a fairly quick recovery and minimal pain medication. The speed of her deliveries deviated from the plan she had envisioned for herself. “I pictured bouncing on the ball, walking the hall, and having my back rubbed by my partner, and there was no time for any of it,” she said.

The use of epidurals can be a very personal decision and creates mixed responses from medical providers. Dr. Gibbons said it’s up to everyone to decide for themselves, but she thinks epidurals get a bad rap. “Our bodies tend to tighten up and fight against the pain,” she said, “and epidurals can help bodies relax and loosen up to do what they need to do.” She said limited mobility remains one of the biggest challenges of epidurals, but labor and delivery nurses are fabulous and skilled at assisting with this.

An epidural during my first birth ended up being the ultimate game changer. After hours of agonizing contractions and 18 hours into labor, nurses had to break the news I had only dilated one centimeter. An epidural allowed my body to take a break, prepare itself, and allowed me to rest until it was time to push. It was most definitely the right decision for me, but others have felt strong and empowered by their decision to give birth without medication.

Sarah Henderson, a mother of two, said due to her immense fear of needles, she would rather experience natural birth.

Even talking to the anesthesiologist made her queasy, so she utilized breathing techniques and the kindness and support of nurses to push through both births. Katie Russell, a mother of two, opted to give birth in a birthing center rather than a hospital and knew epidurals would not be available there. “I think knowing from the get-go that it wasn’t an option helped my body and mind know I could do it,” said Russell. And while she ultimately had to perform squats and lunges when her first child became stuck on her pelvic bone, she still has no regrets. “It’s by far the hardest I’ve ever pushed my body, but I wouldn’t change a thing,” she said

Kelsey Aske also opted for unmedicated births; most recently giving birth during the height of the pandemic. With her first birth, she said, “I wanted to feel everything and not lose control of the bottom half of my body.” Her first birth went smoothly with only five hours of active labor, and while painful, she said she felt strong and confident throughout the entire labor. Her second delivery, however, proved much more challenging in many ways.

Giving birth in July of 2020, Aske had the added challenge of delivering in an continued on page 16

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• Participate in extracurricular activities www.ccak12.net continued from page 14 uncertain time with a mask and no options for vaccines. No visitors were allowed in the hospital, so her daughters were unable to meet each other until Aske returned home. Some of her extended family met the baby for the first time through sliding glass doors. Aske adds that her choice to go unmedicated proved more difficult this time: “I was completely humbled the second time around,” she said. Aske was in active labor for over 24 hours and said that delivery was immensely more challenging. “Looking back,” she said, “I should have gotten the epidural. It’s OK to change our minds, and both ways of delivering are valid.”

Home Births and Home Support

In addition to decisions about the type of birth we hope to experience, many factors play into where it will take place and who we will rely on for our care. Janna Stults, a certified nurse midwife, works primarily in hospitals, though she also has experience in birthing centers and home births. Stults said the advantages of using a midwife include consistent high-quality care and limited use of medical intervention.

When asked about choosing a home birth, Stults said that these are thoroughly vetted to make sure the person is an ideal candidate with a low-risk pregnancy. She adds that people tend to labor more effectively in their home environment because they feel more comfortable, and this experience allows them to maintain more power and control. “Midwives are there to provide support and follow the lead of the person in labor,” said Stults. She also stressed the added benefit of postpartum care that comes along with midwives and doulas, which is something all new parents could benefit from.

Dr. Gibbons voiced what mothers, parents, doctors and midwives seemed to agree when asked about care directly after birth: “Babies, especially the first ones, can really rock your world, and you need strong support.” Most everyone expressed the importance of reaching out and being specific about your needs. Laundry? Food? A nap or a shower? Lactation consultants? Lean on whatever village you can find.

Maspaitella added that postpartum care is going to be individual. “People told me I needed to sleep when the baby slept and that I needed to do less, but what kept me sane was organizing and staying active,” she said “There is no one size fits all. Do what feels best for you.” Moore also reminded brand new mothers to seek out care specific to them. “I had a lot of blood loss during my C-sections,” she said, “and I wish I’d known more about supplements and nutrition to help me heal more effectively.” After struggling significantly with postpartum depression and anxiety my first time around, I made an intentional effort to reach out for support with my second child, and it made a world of difference.

There will be no identical birthing experiences. However, bringing a new human into the world is a demanding act of strength and beauty. We can choose the way we hope to go through this experience, advocate for ourselves, remain flexible, and know that no matter what, this is just the beginning of our story.

Emily Corak has lived in the Pacific Northwest for the past three decades. A former educator with Vancouver School District, Emily is now a freelance writer, photographer and mom to two young kids with big personalities. She recently graduated with her MFA in creative writing, and if given the choice, she would spend all her spare cash on travel and books.

Current Delivery Room Policies

(as of February 2023)

PeaceHealth

Delivery Room Policies

• Masks are still required for everyone.

• Two visitors are allowed at a time and must be 14 years or older. Visitors must be the same the entire stay.

• Certified doulas welcome in addition to visitors.

• Bathtubs available for laboring, and water births are available for low-risk and preapproved pregnancies.

• Personal items are allowed such as batteryoperated candles, pictures, music, etc. Nothing allowed to be plugged into an outlet.

Legacy Delivery Room Policies

• Masks are still required for everyone.

• Two visitors are allowed at a time and must be 12 years or older. May be switched out— does not need to stay the same.

• Legacy-approved doulas welcome.

• Bathtubs are available before the birth, showers only postpartum. Waterbirths are allowed only for women whose provider performs waterbirths and must be tested in ahead of time with the provider.

• Personal items are allowed such as batteryoperated candles, pictures, music, etc. Nothing allowed to be plugged into an outlet.

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