Vanguard
JULY 29, 2012
6 Looks that never date
Spikes & Studs Trends “Sugar— The Legal Cocaine”
Classic vs Print shir t
KEN OKOLUGBO @ 40:
Making an impact
this week
INSIDE 4-5
14-15 6-7 6 Looks that never date Classic vs Print shirt
Naeto C weds long time Sweetheart, Nicole
8 -10 KEN OKOLUGBO @ 40:Making an impact
11&13 I masturbate in the evenings to release t ension! “Sugar The Legal Cocaine”
Sen. Ita Giwa rolls out the drums as Koko turns 21
Heywood
Female Sexual Dysfunction
Brown
Marilyn M
onroe
The only real argument for marriage is that it remains the best method for getting acquainted.
It is not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.
My true friends have always given me that supreme proof of devotion; a spontaneous aversion for the man I loved. .
I feel cheated, never being able to know what it's like to get pregnant, carry a child and breastfeed.
Collette a Mordi E-UP: Azuk Cephas. MAK JEWELRY: s. llie Ho ESS by Moussa. DR
Dustin H offman
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sa PHY by Mous PHOTOGRA
hey say life begins at forty. And that is because, at that age, one should have passed through the years of yearning to a season of counting achievements. It is at this time that investments of time and hard work begin to pay off. At forty, the years of want should have been minimized. Unfortunately, for many, this picture perfect ideal of a forty-year old is a mirage. It is the stuff that dreams are made of. But not so for the young man on our cover today. Ken Okolugbo turns 40 tomorrow and says of himself, “If life begins at forty, then I'd say I have done well even from the beginning”. Indeed, Okolugbo is one of the fortunate few who have come into tremendous wealth at an early age; money made through hard work and taking on risky ventures. Luck and intelligence stood him through the nail-biting years to where he is today. A major player in the property business, Sir Okolugbo has several estates and other properties strewn all over the country from Abuja through Lagos and his state, Delta. Not content to just live, he has set his eyes and heart to serving the people of his community. Propelled by the desire to serve, Okolugno joined politics where he contested for a seat in the House of Representatives under the auspices of the PDP. Although he did not win, he has not turned tail. He has decided to go back to his drawing board to map out another strategy. Young men like Okolugbo are the ones who will take Nigeria out of the doldrums; men of vision, tenacity and a true heart for service and not the self serving lot who now parade themselves. We present Ken Okolugbo, a true Nigerian. All other things in this edition remain sumptuous. Enjoy!
Cover: Sir Ken Okolugbo Photography: Folake Akinola Make-up: Funmi Williams EDITOR: Remmy Diagbare DEPUTY EDITOR: Jemi Ekunkunbor ASST. EDITOR: Yemisi Suleiman
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CONTRIBUTORS: Princess Kate Emiko Jerome Onipede Folake Akinola Bamiyo Iselema Emina
ALLURE JULY 29, 2012
Allure is all about You CONTRIBUTING EDITOR: Latasha Ngwube COPY EDITOR: DD William-West CORRESPONDENTS: Fatima Garba - Style Davina Ayodele - Beauty
LAYOUT/DESIGNS: Remi Oguntegbe Isaiah Amupitan PHOTOGRAPHY: Oscar Ochiogu
Remmy Diagbare
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JULY 29, 2012 ALLURE
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Looks that n 6
Ebube Obike
THE CLASSIC WHITE SHIRT
Bola Balogun
THE BOYFRIEND BLAZER
Uju Offiah
THE WIDE LEG TROUSERS
THE LBD
BY YEMISI SULEIMAN
Black Boyfriend Blazer
Purple Stripe Long Sleeve Shirt
classic white shirt
The Little Black Dress
Christian Louboutin pumps, perfectly pairs with your wide leg trousers A stunning black satin evening clutch bag with centre diamante
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Floral Print Trousers
Hugo Black Mini Skirt
James Lakeland ladies grey linen wide leg
ASOS Croc Embossed Leather Portfolio Clutch
Steve Madden Anastasa Bow Satin Sandals in black
ALLURE JULY 29, 2012
Ideal for work Rosalind Work Shoes
Ladies White & Gold Platform Stiletto Shoes
never date
Be low are a selection of timeless looks to give you enduring style.
THE LBD
White shirt on ankara pants
More than any other piece of clothing, the little black dress is, the essential piece of clothing that will take you practically anywhere.
Onyeka
The wide leg trouser is a high style and highly sophisticated look. Most wide leg trousers are being made in great fabrics such as wool, making them the perfect way to add a bit of personality to work clothes. This look is sophisticated, powerful and always looks expensive, no matter how much (or how little) you may have spent on your outfit.
THE PENCIL SKIRT
Jennifer
THE SEXY TANK TOP
THE WIDE LEG TROUSERS
THE BOYFRIEND BLAZER
Nimi
The boyfriend blazer is great to wear day to night. For a day look, pair with a jeans and simple t-shirt. Or for a night look wear over a dress with heels. The boyfriend blazer is also great work attire.
THE CLASSIC WHITE SHIRT The classic white shirt is a wardrobe staple. It goes with anything, whether dressed-up or relaxed and casual and most importantly, it is never out of fashion Sexy Tee Top
THE SEXY TANK TOP We all need just one more blouse for our clothing collection; a sexy tank top is a must have item. This top is great for any place, any time, anywhere! You can dress it up or down depending on the occasion and play with accessories.
Sexy Tank Top
THE PENCIL SKIRT
Red Pencil Skirt
Chanel Handbag Miu Miu Lambskin Top Handle Bag
The pencil skirt brings a sophisticated look to any wardrobe. A pencil skirt is quite versatile - and with the right accessories and styling, you can easily transform from plain to something more chic and fun.
Prada wine red bag Blue Denim
Zara
Black & Gold Platform Shoes
JULY 29, 2012 ALLURE
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Paul Smith Print Shirt
Burberry Print Shirt
Ankara Shirt
Classic vs Print shirt BY JEMI EKUNKUNBOR
T
he classic white shirt has been a wardrobe staple for a very long time but with each season revealing little modifications. Trends come and go but classic white shirt has stuck. Unlike other shirts, the classic white shirt is like a blank page on which you can paint and be creative. It can be dressed up or down with accessories like cufflinks, statement necklace, scarf etc. The classic white shirt can be styled in a number of ways; with a skirt, a pair of trousers or jean etc.
Beige Floral Print Shirt
Michael Kors parsley print shirt
Blue & White leafy liberty Print Shirt
Michael Kors Parsley Print Shirt Geradine Ejiofor
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ALLURE JULY 29, 2012 Head Club Women Pants
Firetrap Women's Totty-Black Skirt
Tim Guns Classic White Shirt
Thomas Pin Classic White Shirt
Pail & Joe Black Skirt Eunice Efole
Mountain hardware
H
owever, as it is today, the print shirt is having a fashion moment. With appearances on catwalks, the shops are stocking more shirts. Of he prints, the floral remains a favourite for many people. But there are some people who are just not bold enough to wear print shirts. The easy way is to make the shirt your focal point, accenting the shirt and leaving the bottom plain like a chino trouser.
Hawes & Curtis Fitted White Shirt
Port Authority white shirt
Kiki Opara
Aisha Danjuma
APC Women's Chino Beige Trousers
JULY 29, 2012 ALLURE Alexander Wang Sequins Skirt
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KEN OKOLUGBO @ 40:
Making an impact
BY JEMI EKUNKUNBOR e turns 40 tomorrow. At 40, they say, life begins. For him, life has not only begun but has taken shape. Invested with knighthood by the Anglican Church in 2010, Sir Ken Okolugbo became a Knight of St. Christopher at the age of 37! Born to an Anglican priest and lecturer and a mother who was also a teacher and the last in a family with six children, he grew up in a university community and was taught by his mother at the Demonstration University Primary School, Abraka. He continued his education at the Edo State University, where he read Political Science, a move that ran contrary to his childhood dream of becoming an architect. Not deterred, ‘Ken Plaza’ as he is fondly called by friends, decided to work for himself; a decision that took him
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ALLURE JULY 29, 2012
back to his first love of
Architecture. From a little beginning, canvassing for property to rent or let out, he built Ken Kol Nigeria Limited, a leading property development company where he holds sway as CEO. Inspired by Chief Great Ogboru, he joined politics and has twice contested for the Federal House of Representative in Ndokwa/Ukwani Federal Constituency, first under Alliance for Democracy (AD; 2003) and later Accord Party (AP; 2007). Now in the ruling PDP, he was a member of the Presidential Campaign Council of President Goodluck Jonathan. As a philanthropist, he was challenged by the plight of the poor during his campaigns. Some of these people, he has taken under his wings. His actions did not go unnoticed as he was honoured with an award of excellence by women of his native Ndokwa, the Ndokwa Daughters and Wives Association for his philanthropic activities. We spent an afternoon shooting with this Certified Project Consultant and father of two boys as he talked about his life – a day before life begins. Enjoy it.
WHAT WAS LIFE LIKE GROWING UP? I was brought up by very strict Christian parents. My father was a priest in the Anglican Communion and my mother, interestingly, was a teacher and head of the nursery and primary schools. My five siblings and I passed through her as teacher. The thing I found strange was that I could not differentiate between myself, being her biological child, and the other pupils in the school because she treated us all the same. I found that very strange. Sometimes, I’d come back from school and ask her why she treated me the same way she treated others. I used to find that very frustrating. My father was also very strict and we grew up knowing that the only place we could go was Sunday school! Listening to him on the pulpit helped to shape my upbringing but it didn’t stop me from being stubborn; maybe because I was the last child. At a point, they planned to take me to a military school. My parents showed me so much love that when they came down hard on me, I couldn’t fathom it. With benefit of hindsight as a parent now, I think they did not use too much iron hand on me. I thank God because their efforts shaped my school days and kept me away from secret cults; because, when I remember my father’s sermons and how I was raised to love God, it kept me from evil and helped me go through school in spite of the negative influences from friends around me. At the end of the day, even though I did not read my dream course, Architecture, today, I am thankful that I found my way back to it. WHAT BASIC THING WOULD YOU SAY YOU LEARNT AT HOME THAT STILL GUIDES YOU? The basic thing I took from home was to always say the truth. Any time I lied, they caught me and it was always embarrassing. I learnt something from my mother and that is whatever I say behind you, I should be able to say it in your presence. It was a principle my mother practised and that has also helped me to always say the truth and nothing but the truth. It’s not palatable sometimes because some people find me distasteful and very annoying. But I’d rather speak the truth before you than for somebody to come to me that he or she heard that I said so and so thing.
What I have done is to give as much as I can from the resources God has given me. I have mapped out a particular amount that I spend paying school fees for some people. And from my father, it was be your neighbour’s keeper because no matter how angry he was, he will make sure he gives you food. LIFE THEY SAY BEGINS AT 40. IS THIS TRUE IN YOUR CASE? I’ll be 40 tomorrow and I really look forward to seeing what it would be like. If life begins at 40, then I’d say I have done well even from the beginning. I thank God for making me successful. Not everybody my age has reached the zenith I have reached in my career. The fact that I hobnob with the big players in my field gives me the biggest satisfaction. In my career, I have helped build men and women. My company started as a very small company but look where we are today. So, looking at where I am coming from, my wife who is just two and half years old in marriage, my lovely son and the baby that has just been born, I think life is actually just beginning. I look forward to being born again into a whole new world. I also look forward to striving to achieve more than I have achieved and making space to be the limit and not the sky being the limit. I look forward to giving much more to the society and to continue in my steadfast approach to speaking the truth and to continue to be a leading light to the up coming generation. YOU STUDIED POLITICAL SCIENCE BUT FOUND YOURSELF IN REAL ESTATE. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? WAS THERE SOMETHIG IN YOUR CHILDHOOD THAT DREW YOU TO ARCHITECTURE? I wonder what it was. I just knew that I had to be an architect and nothing could derail me but somehow because I was very stubborn and became troublesome, I didn’t do well in the sciences as I should have done. But I did so well in the arts and that was how I found myself studying political science. But the love for building and property never faded. And so after graduation, I found myself veering back to the first love of my life. HOW DID YOU FIND THIS LOVE BACK? It started from when my company was registered. I started canvassing for property to rent or let out. I went on to incorporate it as a limited liability company. From what I made from running an agency, I took the first bold step by building eight flats at Kubwa, Abuja. I got an architect who taught me. I also learnt from my structural engineer as well as my quantity surveyor. Today, my architect tells me that there are times I even map out a house better than him. And, I didn’t go to school for that. Sometimes, he watches me on site mapping out properties and he asks me how do I do it? We started with the Kubwa project and, today, we have blossomed into what we are now. HOW DOES ANY YOUNG MAN GO ABOUT WAKING UP HIS OR HER DREAM? I think the last thing a man should do is to allow his dream die. I just finished building my country home. I have a
The basic thing I took from home was to always say the truth. JULY 29, 2012 ALLURE
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Sir Ken Okolugbo & Family lot of work I’m doing in Lagos but because of the love I have for building, I find myself staying 8-9 days in the village at a stretch. It’s not as if my architect cannot take care of it or my tiller, but I just love directing them and being on ground. If you have that kind of thing in you, it’s very difficult to kill. At the moment, I am about completing a course in this field now. SO, HOW DID YOU GET INTO POLITICS? I was inspired by Chief Great Ogboru. My love for him was such that I wanted him to be the governor of my state. I found myself relocating to Delta State when he founded the Rainbow Movement. He encouraged me to run. I was barely 30 years old at that time. I didn’t think the ‘People’s General’ as we called him, was serious. But he was serious and I got the ticket to run and that was the tonic for me. As I went round my entire ward, there were places that I went to and I shed tears. I saw people living in abject poverty. I saw people who had not seen a car in seven months due to bad roads. I was moved by their plight. At that point, I knew it had gone beyond supporting Great Ogboru to become governor of Delta State. It had become a passion for me. Mind you, this was what I studied. I felt I cannot see these people suffering like this and not do anything about it. COMING FACE TO FACE WITH THE SUFFERING OF THE PEOPLE IS NOT NEW TO MANY POLITICIANS. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE ABOUT WHAT YOU SAW SINCE THEN? What I have done is to give as much as I can from the resources God has given me. I have mapped out a particular amount that I spend paying school fees for some people. Sometimes, these fees are heavy but we try to help so that even if we are not yet in office, this is what I dream of doing. Even though as member of the House of Representatives, you cannot do much on your own; you can act as a catalyst and make that difference. I continued until now that I am in PDP. DO YOU PLAN TO CONTEST AGAIN IN THE FUTURE? You don’t know what the future holds but I’m very inspired by our president and his obsession to bring this country to focus. WOULD YOU SAY THAT THE PARTY THAT YOU CURRENTLY SUPPORT HAS DONE WELL? Well, it depends on how you look at it. It’s not yet Uhuru for Nigeria. I know that the issue of security is a big one but we have also made some gains under the PDP. The FOI Act was signed; that should please you very much. People’s deposits
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ALLURE JULY 29, 2012
were not lost and things like litigations, people are not distracted anymore. Litigations are finished within one year and the Constitution, for the first time in history, was amended under the PDP government. We have won elections but we have not won the heart of the people by way of perception but with what is happening now in the present PDP and what the president is doing, I believe if you ask me this question in another year or two, I should be able to beat my cheat and say we are getting there. YOU BECAME A KNIGHT AT A VERY YOUNG AGE. MOST OF THE PEOPLE WHO GET KNIGHTED ARE WAY PAST THEIR 50s. MOST THINGS SEEM TO HAPPEN VERY QUICKLY FOR YOU. HOW DID IT HAPPEN? I was very surprised when it happened. I was in the office when I received a letter from my vicar saying he had nominated me for the Knight of St. Christopher. I was 37 years old at that time. I immediately called my big sister who is my confidant and told her about the letter from the vicar. She told me to pray about it. After some time, I received another letter saying that the Bishop has accepted my nomination and that I was to be knighted on the 5th of June, 2010. I was excited and at the same time asking myself whether I really deserve to be knighted because like you observed, the impression I have, being the son of an Anglican priest, was that knighthood was for older people (in their) 60s, 70s, and 80s. So, for a 37-year old man to be knighted, I found it very strange because it meant being called “Sir” and not Mister. Eventually, I said:”Well, God, since you have chosen me and laid it on these people’s heart to honour me, I will try as much as possible to live a life that is worthy of a knight”. With time I have come to accept it. HAVE YOU BEEN VERY INVOLVED IN CHURCH ACTIVITIES? Well, I have been very involved in the Diocese of Ndokwa. I have been inspired by my father and I was led by God, at one time, to use my tithe to build a church for the Lord. But, I don’t think that is enough. I think when you do things for God, you do them not for what you will get but for the sake of the Lord. Building that church was a dream come true for me because I thought it is something I should do before building my own house. I needed to build first for God and as at the time I was building for the Lord, I didn’t have a piece of land in my village. But today, I have a country home. HOW HAS THIS EXPEREINCE HELPED YOU SPIRITUALITY?
What it does is that when I am drifting, remembering that I am a knight checks me. I remember the other day, I was so angry at somebody; my temper was rising and a video played in my head, “Ken, you are a knight!” And, that calmed me down. You know how human nature is but remembering that I am a knight guides me and helps me not to derail. YOU ARE A PLAYER ON MANY FIELDS. WHAT IMAGE DO YOU LIKE TO PROJECT? I like to look corporate. Everyday I go to the office, I must come up with something new. I am not a fashion freak but I like designer goods. I like Louis Vuitton. I like my Polo Ralph Laurent. I like my True Religion jeans. You can’t catch me in any other jean. I like to pair that with Ralph Laurent Polo shirt. I like my Hugo Boss belt and shoes. I come casual when I have to, especially on Fridays. Otherwise, it will be native attire. But Monday to Friday, it is corporate. WHEN IT COMES TO FASHION, WHAT DO YOU INDULGE IN? I spend a lot on clothes. But I think I spend more on shoes; Russel and Bomley, Louis Vuitton. I get more good shoes in London than in the USA. WHAT WON’T YOU DO IN THE NAME OF FASHION? I won’t spend $10,000 to buy a bag. OF ALL THE TRENDS WE’VE HAD, WHICH ONE HAVE YOU ENJOYED MOST? I love the tuxedo. It has come from way back and it’s still great. W H E R E I S Y O U R FAV O U R I T E T R AV E L DESTINATION? My favourite travel destination would be Manhattan in New York. In Manhattan, I feel like I am at home. It’s a lot like Lagos except that I don’t have to buy diesel. I find all the shops there, all the relaxation spots and the theatres as well. In fact, everything you want is in Manhattan. It’s a civilised economy, where things are established and that is what we are looking to Nigeria becoming. So, I find myself over and over again, going to New York. If you check my passport, New York is always my destination. For me, going to London now is boring. It’s only when it is absolutely necessary that I go to London.
You need that professional poise!
Female Sexual Dysfunction
Manners and Loss
W
hat does one say when an air mishap has occurred, taking with it Nigeria’s finest, whole families, young promising talent, with their dreams, hopes and aspirations cut short, and frozen in time? A great tragedy indeed. To the families and friends who lost loved ones in the Dana Debacle, do accept my condolences. May the good Lord be your comfort and strength at this difficult time. To my darling friend and sister Sophie, God will uphold you. Innih was sad. She had lost a friend in the Dana plane crash, but she wasn’t quite sure what the etiquette was about offering condolences, the funeral/memorial service etc. what to do? Do what your heart tell you to… do what you would appreciate others doing for you, and you won’t stray too far from the right path. In many cultures, the first event that follows a death is a visitation. — A courtesy call at home prior to the funeral. Visitors who come to greet the bereaved offer words of comfort and support. You may also make a phone call, but often the bereaved person may not be in a state of mind to take the call, so someone close will probably take the call. If you send a sympathy card, never just sign it as is. It is more heartwarming to add a handwritten note to this card, even if it’s just to say, “I’m so sorry for your loss”. Beyond that you could offer to help with any funeral arrangement she has to make. Attending the funerals or memorial service could be uncomfortable because of the emotions involved. Knowing what to do and say at funerals — and what to wear — can ease the discomfort. nWhen in doubt about going, do try to attend the service. Often, the more difficult the situation, the more the family will appreciate your presence and your words of support.. These services provide a sense of completion, a process for mourning, and comfort for the living. The outpouring of grief and support for the family enables them to eventually go on with their own lives. A funeral or memorial service may be a very public event, attended by family, friends, colleagues, neighbors, and even acquaintances. A eulogy, prayers, or other funeral customs are observed. Because the immediate family may be overwhelmed, you need only to greet the mourners and briefly offer condolences. Most important for the family is the knowledge of your presence. Burials usually follow funerals. In almost all cultures, taking a meal in the company of close friends and family is a symbol of the continuation of life and a moment of separation from the intense details of the death, funeral, and burial. Recalling fond memories of the deceased may inspire smiles and even laughter at this gathering — this behavior is perfectly acceptable. Ngozi Chantal Caulcrick is a business image coach, trained and certified by the Protocol School Of Washington. She offers seminars in Business Etiquette and Protocol Intelligence, as well as Fine Dining Skills. You can reach her on 08033023790, 08082365506, or courtneyinglis1@gmail.com SOLVES ALL YOUR PROBLEMS pearlofwisdom.allure@gmail.com
Ms Pearl of Wisdom
Ms Pearl Of Wisdom. Is she an agony aunt? Very often. Is this an etiquette column? Sometimes. Could it improve your sexual technique? Possibly. Does she have useful tips and hints? Yes. Let Ms Pearl of Wisdom handle all and any of your social and emotional dilemmas!!
Dear Ms Pearl, I have been seeing a mature well respected business man that I absolutely adore but he only makes himself available when it suits him. When I try to tell him we should see more of each other and make time to do it he replies with “I don’t a relationship to take over my life” or to “rush”. It’s been six months already! My friends are really bad at advising, some it is sensible because he is a serious person, and others say he is selfish. What do you think? It’s time to face the facts: he doesn’t fancy you very much so walk away from this failing relationship in a dignified manner. That will show him who is in control!
Dear Ms Pearl, Why is it that as soon as I mention I am broke, women immediately run from me? Ironically, up until this time they all swear that they are madly in love with me and are in a huge hurry to take the vows for richer and for poorer until death do us part. Am I missing something? It amazes me how anyone could have thought men were the superior sex.
Dear Ms Pearl, I cannot seem to satisfy any of the women in my life. You are clearly fulfilled, can you offer me any tips? Mr. Wisdom and I have found there is no substitute for practice. Practice and more practice. On your own if necessary.
Dear Ms Pearl, What’s so special about Brazilian girls? Do they enjoy a better sex life? No. But I’m sure their husbands and boyfriends do.
Send problems to: Ms Pearl of Wisdom, pearlofwisdom.allure@gmail.com The best problem wins a prize (Editors choice).
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he media tend to present sex as easy, good, and spontaneous, and it implies that we should always be in the mood for it. If only sex were that simple. The issue of intimacy is of great interest and concern to both men and women. Many knowledge doctors now recognize the interrelationship between sex, sexuality and level of health, vitality and function of their patients’ lives. Many doctors now realize that sexual satisfaction is an indicator of overall health and are now including the area of sexuality in their medical histories. Knowledge doctors now evaluate patients with a view to not only helping them with their presenting complaints, but also look for opportunities to enhance and improve their sex life at the same time. Many patients, both male and female, are however uncomfortable going into details about this very personal area of their lives. They may often just answer “fine” “OK”, and “no problem” when answering the sexual part of the medical questionnaire even when all is not well with their sex life. The overall attitude of secrecy, shame, and uncertainty about the role of sexuality in overall health can be well summarized by a recent letter received by a recent letter received a physician. “I am 52 years of age and so is my husband, it’s about our sex life, it just seems like it’s just gone. Is that normal for our age or can we be low on certain vitamins? Is there something we can get to boost our sex drive? We always had a good sex life and now it is totality gone.” Participating in sexual activities is a good indicator of overall vitality. Loss of interest in sex is a very negative sign for a person’s good health and longevity. Blockages in sexual energy will often manifest as deterioration in general health or mental state. As reflected in the email there is a general myth that sexual energy wanes and disappears with age. The e-mailer and her husband are only 52 years old, yet she wonders whether a sex life that is “just gone” might be normal for that age. Well it is not normal for that age, or any other age. Continuing to have good health involves continuing to have a sex drive. Many things can sabotage a normal and enjoyable sex life. If you and your partner are experiencing problems with sex, you are not alone. Recent studies reveal that nearly 40 to 90 percent of women of all ages report having sexual problems. Many women experience sexual difficulties at some point in their lives. During menopause, as many as half of all women, or even more, may experience sexual dysfunction. As one ages, many changes occur in the way one’s body functions. Sexual function is no exception. At age 60, for example, one’s sexual needs, patterns and performance may not be the same as they were when one was half that age.
What are female sexual problems? There are a variety of sexual problems that women experience, either alone or with a partner. The term “sex” is not limited just to intercourse, and can also refer to a variety of intimate sexual activities such as fondling, self stimulation or masturbation, and oral sex. Sexual problems are generally defined as any problem that occurs in the course of sexual activity, including: Not being in the mood, trouble becoming aroused, which usually involves being too dry difficulty Prof. Oladapo Ashiru OFR CEO-MART-LIFE detox clinic 2 Olatubosun Street,
having orgasms; pain during sex or pain related to sexual activity. Most women experience these from time to time. It is when they are persistent that they become problematic for the woman and her partner. You should seek help more promptly if you are experiencing physical pain. Defining the problems, Sexual dysfunction is simply persistent or recurrent problems during one or more of the stages of having sex. It’s not considered a sexual disorder unless you’re distressed about it or it negatively affects your relationship with your partner. Female sexual dysfunction (F.S.D.) occurs in women of all ages. Doctors and sex therapists generally divide sexual dysfunction in women into four categories. These are:
Low sexual desire In this case you have poor libido, or lack of sex drive. This is the most common type of sexual disorder among women and accounts for 87.2%, of the cases of F.S.D. It is the persistent or recurrent lack of sexual thoughts and / or receptivity to sexual activity, which causes personal distress. Low sexual desire of hypoactive sexual desire may result from endocrine failure and may be associated with psychological or emotional disorders. Sexual aversion disorder is a subcategory of low sexual desire.
Sexual Arousal Disorder: In this situation your desire for sex might in intact/ but you’re unable to become aroused or maintain arousal during sexual activity. It is the persistent or recurrent inability to reach or maintain sexual excitement, which causes personal distress. This disorder includes poor vaginal lubrication, decreased genital sensation, and poor vaginal smooth muscle relaxation. Arousal disorders are most commonly physiological and can often result from medications, pelvic disorders, as well as neural and peripheral vascular diseases and accounts for 74.7%, of F.S.D. FSD with orgasmic disorder, which accounts for 83.3%, of cases of F.S.D you have persistent or recurrent difficulty in achieving orgasm after sufficient sexual arousal and ongoing stimulation. It is the persistent or recurrent failure to reach orgasm after sufficient sexual stimulation and arousal, which causes personal distress trauma to nerves associated with pelvic surgery and spinal cord injuries can be associated with orgasmic failure. Failure there is sexual pain disorder in which the vagina is painful after being sexually stimulated or touched. Subcategories include painful intercourse and vagina spasm. This may be caused by injuries during operations and physical or psychological trauma involving the pelvic. This accounts for 71.7% of F.S.D. it is important to recognize that F.S.D is far more common in patients with a history of sexual abuse or rape. 40% of women who reported that they have been sexually abused had problems with F.S.D. Not all sexual problems in women fit into these categories. With increased information about the complicated nature of female sexual response, a new view has emerged which focuses on the concept that female sexual response is a combination of complex interactions of many components,
JULY 29, 2012 ALLURE
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DID YOU KNOW? Only female mosquitoes bite.
Healthy Living101 terimendes@gmail.com
By Teri Mendes
Quote of the week: Beauty is nature's coin, must not be hoarded, but must be current, and the good thereof consists in mutual and partaken bliss — JOHN MILTON, Comus
Dark underarms begone!!!
Part 1
Dark underarms can be a source of stress and embarrassment for many people, especially when women wear sleeveless tops which
aren't just popular but are practical with our humidity and heat waves in Nigeria. However, identifying the possible causes for the problem and trying
holistic remedies can help to ameliorate the condition. Dark underarms are a major concern for people with fair skin, as the dark armpits are more visible
10 main causes of dark armpits
1.Frequent Use of Hair Removal Cream: Chemicals used in hair removal creams may also adversely react with the skin in the region,
4. Excessive sweating: Some contributing factors may be age, hormones, and excessive sweating, but a well common reason why underarms are dark is attributed to excessive
7. A medical condition called ACANTHOSIS NIGRICANS: This condition causes light-brown-to-black markings on the neck, under the arms, or in the groin. It can be related to
2. Shaving Armpit Hairs: The most common cause of dark skin is shaving your underarms. The more you shave your underarms the darker your skin gets because of the growth of hair follicles. Waxing your underarms will help with the dark skin and ingrown hairs, because the underarm hair is pulled out from the root. If you're comfortable with shaving and don't want to wax, dermatologists suggest disposing your razor after 3 shaves as that's when it gets dull. Moreover, every time you shave, you cause micro abrasions and when healed, these wounds cause 5. Persistent Use of Deodorants with Strong Fragrances and High Alcohol Content: Ingredients in antiperspirants and deodorants could react with the skin to cause discoloration of armpits. In theory, some ingredients in these products (perhaps the fragrance) could be reacting with the skin to cause discoloration. Scientific studies have shown this to be unlikely however clinical trial with many
8. Flabby and Sagging Arms: Overweight people tend to have darker underarms this is because the skin in the area is constantly rubbing against each other. Studies show the most common
3. Friction From Fabrics And Tight Clothing: Under arm rubbing against rough fabrics (like winter wools) or wearing tight clothing creates f r i c t i o n . According to dermatologists, the friction leads to inflammation and brown or grayish patches. Therefore, try to avoid wearing tight clothing all the time or dark and thick fabrics. Since
6. Build Up Of Dead Skin Cells: According to dermatologists, dark spots under your arms are the result of dead skin cells that are trapped in microscopic “hills and valleys” on your skin. Buildup of dead skin cells results in black spots in the
The Hard Facts
9.Hyperpigmentati o n & Infection Due to Improper washing of the Underarms: This condition causes your skin to produce excess melanin pigment. It doesn`t usually affect armpits, so it's a less likely cause. What to do about it? Use a skin bleaching cream to destroy the excess melanin. I personally don't recommend this unless you consult a dermatologist first. You can also try laser
10. Bacterial Infections: Bacterial infection is another cause for dark armpits. Erythrasma is a bacterial infection that mostly appears in the area between skin folds such as the groin and armpits. They may result in slight itchiness and look like
TO BE CONTINUED NEXT WEEK.... For comments and questions please email terimendes@gmail.com, I would love to hear from you, till next week it's ta ta for now! XOXO
You can follow me on twitter @terimendes
Frequent shaving of armpit hair increases your chances of darkened armpits Using hair removing creams will most definitely make under arm skin darker as it contains chemicals that can be harsh on the skin. Wearing tight fitting clothes all the time can cause darkened armpits
TERI SPEAKS Good afternoon Teri,
I write concerning your article in Allure vanguard on healthy living about 10 tips to a flawless healthy hair. It's actually on conditioner part. I have a very coarse hair and its damaged and thinning out. I want you to please recommend a good conditioner for my kind of hair. I will appreciate it if you give me a specific named product to buy. Thank you
Bella
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ALLURE JULY 29, 2012
Dear Bella, Thanks for your email. I would specifically recommend motions CPR treatment. Mix a little bit of Shea butter with and wear a shower cap and steam for 20mins fortnightly. Let me know how it goes. Best wishes,
Teri M
ia’s r e g Ni ding Lea t-Loss gh WeiExpert
get captivated
I masturbate in the evenings to release tension!
body perfect
...not just SLIMMING but FITNESS
KATHY EMIKO
JEROME ONIPEDE
G
ood Day Jerome. Please I need you to advice me on what to do., I want to do the right thing by not having sex till after our wedding, but my fiancé is bent on doing it, with the reason that he can’t stay without doing it with me because he loves me. We fixed our wedding next year March and he is pressuring me on that. I am not ready for this at all. What do I do please? Thanks, Eriebi.
E
riebi, congratulations, you are just about to get married to a man who allows his erection to determine his direction in life. This man equates sex for love, because he obviously knows nothing about love. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. This man does not know you enough to love you, but one thing we can be sure of is that he is sex crazy about you, and that won’t sustain marriage. Be very careful a lot of people will tell you to do it, that this is the 21st century, well anyone who gives you such a counsel hates God who created marriage and who is also the author of sex in marriage, and there are a lot of God haters in the Church today whose god is their belly, and are always ready to satisfy their lusts. They are not in Church for God, but what they will gain for themselves in the community of believers. They hide in their gifts, so people don’t easily know they have no relationship with God. They sing well, preach well, lead house fellowship well, welcome new comers well etc, but you see the mistake we always make is the Bible never said by their gifts we shall know them, the word says “By their Fruits we shall know them”. So if you find so many people in the Church engaging in premarital and extramarital sex today, just know they are enemies of the God they claim to serve. Eriebi, follow God’s ways, those who do always laugh last and laugh best.
G
ood day sir. I saw your posts on facebook and thought I should share this with you sir. I have a friend who is born again and working seriously for God and Spirit filled but he has a serious challenge; he has a serious weakness for women, finds it hard to control his urge. He’s messed up with several girls even as the fellowship president. I mean he’s done much nasty stuff. Is there any hope for him again, can anything be done to salvage his challenge, or is once a womanizer forever a womanizer? Doseke.
T
hanks Doseke. I hope you are not one of the girls he has messed up with for you to know this much about him, because I am sure he does all this in secret, and probably try to leave no trails, so I really wonder how you know this much about this so called fellowship president. You asked if there is hope for him, well there is always hope in Christ. Christ specialty is in turning hopeless cases into one with hope. He breaks in pieces the gates of brass, and cuts in sunder the bars of iron. He destroys the snare wherein we have been ensnared, and like a bird he allows our souls to fly out of the cages of bondage. The problem is not with Christ, it’s with us. One of the signs of the end times is that men will love pleasure more than they will love God. Doseke, sin we do not repent of always have a way of exposing us, dishonoring us, bringing us shame etc and then maybe we just might repent of it eventually. Very soon, there will be a great shaking in the Body of Christ, and you will realize a lot of people are not seriously working for God after all, but just satisfying their lust. You will also realize that it’s not everybody that speaks in tongues that is filled with the Holy Spirit. In the last day, many are going to tell God all they did for Him, and He is going to answer them by saying “I NEVER KNEW YOU”.
G
OOD DAY SIR, I AM A GRADUATE OF BUSINESS ADMIN FROM ONE OF THE NIGERIAN UNIVERSITIES. I HAD A SON 15 YEARS AGO BUT DID NOT MARRY THE GUY DUE TO INCESSANT BEATINGS. I MET THIS MARRIED MAN AS I WAS IN THE UNIVERSITY WHO MET ALL MY NEEDS BUT THE CLAUSE WAS I WAS HIS SEX SLAVE. I WAS AT HIS BECK AND CALL FOR SEX EVEN THOUGH IT MEANT MISSING MY EXAMS. SINCE HE WAS PAYING MY FEES I HAD TO SLEEP WITH HIM AND HIS FRIEND AT THE SAME TIME JUST FOR THE CASH. THIS DISGUSTING PRACTICE WENT ON FOR 8 YEARS UNTIL I GOT FED UP BECAUSE I HAVE VIRTUALLY BEEN USED BY HIM AND MOST OF HIS FRIENDS BY HIS BIDDING. TO CUT A LONG STORY SHORT, I WAS ABLE TO BREAK OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP AND EVEN WHEN I DID, HE CAME WITH 3 OF HIS FRIENDS AND RAPED ME SILLY SINCE I WAS STILL IN THE HOUSE HE RENTED FOR ME. I PACKED OUT AND RENTED MY OWN APARTMENT WITH MY SON AND STARTED A HOME MANAGEMENT BUSINESS IN RUNNING ERRANDS FOR THE WORKING CLASS AT A FEE ITS PAYING WELL. I HAVE SINCE PUT THE EXPERIENCE BEHIND ME AND EMBRACED CHRIST. FOR MORE THAN 2 YEARS NOW I HAVE BEEN LIVING WELL, NO SEX ETC. GUYS DO COME EVEN CHRISTIAN BROTHERS BUT I WANT MARRIAGE NOT SEX. MY PROBLEM NOW IS MASTURBATION. I USE MASTURBATION TO RELEASE TENSION ESPECIALLY IN THE EVENINGS. MY QUESTION IS (1) IS MASTURBATION A SIN? (2). WILL IT AFFECT MY MARRIAGE (3) I DID COUNTLESS OF ABORTIONS AND I AM AFRAID IF I GET MARRIED BEARING KIDS WILL BE DIFFICULT. I WOULD REALLY LOVE MORE KIDS. I JUST NEEDED TO TALK TO SOMEBODY COS I CAN’T EVEN TO TALK TO MY PASTOR. IF U CAN ADVISE ME FINE, I LL REALLY APPRECIATE IT. GOD BLESS U SIR. TIMIEPIRI.
T
imiepiri, you have just told the story of so many girls in school now, so many of these students living large because they are engaged in RUNS or are ON PAROLE. Most of them face the kind of punishment you faced from your ex customers too, while some are killed in the process. It is not because they are from poor homes that these girls live this lifestyle, because girls from rich homes do it too. It is because these girls live by the Lust of the eyes, can’t see things without wanting to have them, Lust of the flesh, have become very sensual, desiring sex in unaffectionate ways, and Pride of life, believing that power, possession and prestige is what gives a man’s life meaning. Well you say you have given your life to Christ. That’s good news. He faced temptation in all these three areas I mentioned, and He was victorious. I believe you can be more than a conqueror through the love of God that is in Christ Jesus. When you masturbate, you simply have sex by yourself, and orgasm with the help of imagining that some of the men you have been with or hope to be with are taking you. Well that’s a lot of work. That’s not God’s original design for sex either, but I don’t even think masturbation is your main problem, you see you have lived a life that has only widen the emptiness in you, and as you filled it with things, it only made you more empty which is always what happens when we try to fill the void in our lives with things and not with God. You need more of God now, and if you are in a Church where you can’t talk to your Pastor or his wife, look for a church where you can. You need therapy, discipleship and plenty of God’s love.
For Counseling Services on Marriage, Relationships, Career and Matchmaking, call Jerome on 08037194335. To attend LET’S GET MARRIED, 08053537663 BB 2219041E. You may follow Jerome on twitter as @jeromeistalking. Like “Jerome Yaovi Onipede” on FACEBOOK.
“Sugar The Legal Cocaine” Health News 101: se measuring tape to check your heart! Measure your waist at its smallest point and your hips at their largest points, then divide the waist measurement by the hip measurement, advises Mr. A. I. Sears, M.D, author of the “Doctor’s Heart Cure”. A ratio higher than 0.90 could raise risk of heart disease. What you can do: shrink your belly (with ‘Body Perfect Flat Belly Diet’ and follow up with healthy flat belly eating plan).
U
Body Perfect 101: The 7 most common ‘noisy’ foods: Alcohol White bread/baked treats White Rice Ice cream Chocolate Candy Coffee
Sugar – It is white, powdery and gives you a high (rush of energy to accomplish anything). It is legal and it is in practically everything we consume. It is an anti-food which I call “the white poison”. Sugar will leave you stirring out but also fat and injecting yourself with insulin to combat diabetes. Refined sugar is a man-made product, unlike the natural sugars found in living foods.
Why cut sugar consumption? (a) Sugar is addictive: Many people find it nearly impossible to stop eating sugar. Eating lots of sugar may deplete the zinc in your body, which can dull your sense of taste. When your taste perception is altered, you need more sugar to give you the same taste satisfaction. It becomes a vicious cycle. (b) Sugar can impair your immune system: Eating 100 grams of simple carbohydrate (like cookies, a large piece of cake, or a few doughnuts) can reduce the ability of white blood cells by 50 percent for a few hours. (c) Sugar is linked to behavioural diseases: There is a strong link between excessive sugar intake and hyper-activity. (d) Sugar can lead to osteoporosis: Sugar creates an acidic environment in your tissues which causes your body to cry out for alkaline foods. If you don’t get enough calcium in your diet, your body may pull it from your bones and teeth to rebalance your P. H. level, and you may develop bone loss and eventually osteoporosis could set in. (e) Sugar can lead to type-2 diabetes and elevate cholesterol: Most people understand how excess sugar could lead to diabetes by elevating insulin levels; eventually cells become resistant to insulin, which leads to type-2 diabetes. But elevated insulin levels also make the liver to produce more cholesterol and triglycerides! (f) Sugar can make you fat: When you over-eat sugar, your body goes into fat storage mode. That is why most diabetics gain weight when they begin taking insulin (often as much as twenty or thirty pounds). Sugar creates a cycle of demand for more sugar, which raises insulin levels. Insulin is a powerful hormone that signals the body to store fat.
Ask Princess Kathy
(Princess Kathy is a Certified Nutrition and Fitness Consultant. E-mail: bodyperfectng@aol.com or call 08101840449, 08034545819. BB: 28356028.)
Dear Kathy, The other day, I was surfing the internet and found a site where someone said that a serving of brown rice and white rice is the same. Please, I want to know the difference.
Juliet, Jos
Dear Juliet, Rice is not naturally white and isn't meant to be white if you were to ask “Mother Nature”. Rice comes dressed from nature (just the way God made it wearing bran, germ, husk, fibre, peel and more). To eat the entire food is to get the complete package of goodness God intended for us. Eating only the polished white part for example is a BIG mistake. Without the nutritious brown part of rice, we are eating a lethal weapon that causes blood sugar to spike because it has been so over-processed and it's now so starchy. It then becomes a big stress on the liver. The liver which is our fat-burning machine breaks down brown rice with ease and because of its fibre and natural vitamins, it helps to gently detoxify our system. When you eat brown rice, you do not experience the bloating and craving that comes with white rice. With brown rice, you can eat very little because it is loaded with fibre but with white you never get filled, so you eat more and consume more calories. Brown rice is loaded with nutrients. White rice is nutritionally empty, increases your sugar level and if not eaten with caution leads to a state of disease called type-2-diabetes, mellitus. Brown is best! Got over 5kg, 10kg, 15kg or 20kg to lose? Jump start it with “Brown Rice Miracle Diet” (08034535819).
JULY 29, 2012 ALLURE
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Amaka Awodein
Vivien Agbakoba
Nkechi Ononiba & Vera Mbazi
Reginald Ihejiahi Chief. Olusegun Obasanjo
Judith Ogbara & Chinyere Amuchenwa
Jean Mgbo
Tonia Uche-Ejiogu
Nene Obierika
Vanessa Kemakolam
NAETO C WEDS LONG TIME SWEET HEART, NICOLE By Oscar Ochiogu
O
Chief (Mrs.) Stella Chinyelu Okoli
Becky Enyioma
n Saturday, July 21, 2012, amidst celebrations, the rapper and his fiancĂŠe, Nicole, said their vows to stay together for life. The strictly-by-invitation wedding kicked off at exactly 12 noon with a mass, held at the , Lekki, Lagos. This was followed by an elaborate reception at the , Bluewater way, Lekki, the superlative event was anchored by ace comedian, Ali Baba. The 30-year-old rapper looked dapper in his sky blue , beaming as he exchanged marital vows with Nicole, who wore a designed fish tail wedding dress. The event was graced by some political top shots such as, and Chief. Also in attendance were friends and colleagues in entertainment, including label boss. Naeto and his wife, model and entrepreneur Nicole, got engaged in Owerri, Imo State on Easter Monday, April 9, 2012.
Naeto & Nicole
Nkiru Anumudu
Couple with Family
D'banj
Obi Asika
Nchedo Obi
Chief. Wale Babalakin Rosemary AnyiamOsuigwe Sonny & Susan Iroche Kara & Philip Ejiogu
FAB SOIREE DEBUT IN LAGOS Temitope Ademola
Yvonne Ezekiel
Chinelo Ikeme
By Oscar Ochiogu.
L
agos hosted the maiden edition of FAB Soiree Exhibition during the weekend. The event which lasted for two days, afforded celebrities the opportunity to view an array of exciting products, make buys at bargain prices, while networking with other guests in a nice and cozy environment. The Fab Soiree is a family fun fair with the sole purpose of networking, while visitors get to engage directly with well defined target markets. Celebrities at the exhibition shopped for items including, jewelry, kaftans, bridal outfits, home decor and fragrances. On sale were also exclusive fashion (for men, women and children), hair and beauty products, exotic fabrics, designer fragrances, accessories, food and drinks. In addition to non-stop music, there was also a relaxation lounge, a play area for children and fabulous gifts for attendees.
Mercedes Richards
Ndidi Obioha
Adaeze Aguele
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Uche Ejikeme
Uju Murphy
Chika Acholonu
ALLURE JULY 29, 2012
Nkechi Nwankwo
Trecia Okondo
Uju Nwokolo
Chisom Okoye
Ijeoma Ezeokafor
Ada Jerry-Ugwu
Yewande Adesuyi
Chioma Afe & Eunice
From left, a friend, Princesss Aba, Ita Giwa, Koko & a friend
Princess Yewande Onilere, Mr. Eli El-khazen, Princess Abah Folawiyo, Koko, Chimaobi Shawcross Obioha Jnr. Sen. Ita Giwa, Mrs. Evelyn Shawcros Obioha Koko cuts cake with friends
Senator Giwa, Dipo & Paula Bajomo & Koko
SEN. ITA GIWA ROLLS OUT THE DRUMS AS KOKO TURNS 21 Praying for Koko in church
By Oscar Ochiogu
Koko cuts cake in church
S
entator Florence Ita Giwa is leaving no stone unturned as she celebrates the 21st birthday of her daughter, Koko. Koko, who recently graduated from the University of Essex, Sainty Quay, Colchester, Essex in the UK turned 21 penultimate Sunday. The Senator marked the event with a thanksgiving service at the Emmanu8el Anglican Church, Banana Island, Ikoyi. Senator Giwa Mother & Daughter
Remi Diagbare & Olamide Ojeshina
Koko cuts cake with friends
Ranti Johnson & Koko
Reze Bona , & a friend Segun Awolowo, Koko & Bola Awolowo
MRS FLORENCE IDIAKHOA CELEBRATES 60 IN STYLE AS SHE RETIRES By Akinwunmi Ibrahim
Mrs. Eva Akinwuntan & Mrs. Joy Ojakoro Mrs. Nnachetta & Mrs. Jane Odogwu
T
he IDIAKHOA’s recently celebrated the 60th Birthday and her retirement from the Nigeria Navy Medical Corp, as a dentist of Dr. Mrs. Florence Idiakhoa at the Protea Hotel, Lekki Expressway, Lagos. The entire Family and friends turned out for the joyous occasion. Many testified of her as a wonderful woman who is hard working and always takes people at heart, irrespective of tribe. There was plenty to eat and drink as guests were treated to an evening of fun. There was a toast to long life as she cut her cake and delivered her ‘thank you’ remarks.
Mrs. Idiakhena & Stella Solomon Martha Otaigbe
Dr. Mrs. A.F. Idiakhoa
The Idiakhoa's Family
Hon. Charles Osezuaon & Mrs. Gloria Father; Mr. Job, Daughter; Ilobe Idiake & Mother; Mrs. Florence Idiakhoa
Mubarak Awopoju & Saima Bello
Prof. & Mrs. John Igeme Mr & Mrs. Leke-Apapa
Tijani Olawale & Okafor Chikordi
Ivie Akhuemonkhan & Bola Bakare
Mr. & Mrs. Lucky Akhigbe
JULY 29, 2012 ALLURE
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