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Move -
Your money maker isn 't going to get itself coordinated . You need to gyrate and body roll in front of every mirro r and on every dance floor you can. If you're not impressed w ith what you're seeing, odds are your clientele won't be eithe r.
Burn the love handles - Don't let the term fool you. Get on the bike, stairs, trea dm ill or whateve r you do to get that heart-rate up. A little spare t ire is not going to help you get tips, no matter how much you look like Fabio from the neck up.
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Get ripped - While cardio alone will ma ke some guys more physically desirable, a lot of women will want some meat on that bone. Hit the gym and build those pectorals, triceps, biceps, t raps, lats, abs and of course ... the gluteus maxim us.
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et groomed - Some
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Scope out the scene - Ladies are out in droves on Friday and Saturday nights. Be where they are. Talk to the m. Find out how to make them smile. If you can keep the m laughing, you 're ensuri ng better tips and recommendations. You can't just give a dozen lap dances for an hour and expect to be able to hid e behi nd your gstring. Editor's note: Does not apply to lady dancers
punk, jazz, classical- they all have their value, but no birthday girl or bachelo rette is going to get moist to Mozart. Listen to pop, hip-hop and funk. Listen to your local DJs.
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Practice - What are friends for? Your routine may be practical in you r head, but logistics can only be worked out in a real life setting. It may not be as easy as you think to whip off your belt and crack it Indiana Jones style .
Get out there - Look through your phone book and see who hires male, exotic dance rs. Go to clubs and see what their routines are like. If there are no male clubs in the area , private pa rties can be very lucrative. Can you say, "amateur night"?
girls like scruff. But your bushy net her region isn't going to look too sexy pou ring out f rom beh ind your banana ham mock. We' re not inst ituting a "scorched Earth" policy here but waxing is always a good option. Back, neck and butt hair are beyond frowned upon.
• Get down with dance music - Metal,
Make your miX - once you have an idea of wh ich Prince song should come between Daft Punk's "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger" and 50 Cent's "In Da Club," put them all together as seamlessly as possible. If you' re good with audio software, work your magic. Otherwise, have one of your friends mix the songs for you, eliminating fade-outs and awkward sections. Re member: your act should be as smooth as possible f rom start to finish.
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Be professional - Look nice, smell nice, be nice and you w ill get called back. Be prompt. Bring multiple business cards. Don't do anyth ing you don't want to do You're in charge and you need to re mind them of that. Always ask before you do anything fu ll contact besides a lap dance. WATCH YOUR DRINKS. Jell-O shots vary in potency, so be careful. The Full Monty is never necessary but if tips are good and they're begg ing for it, give them what they want.
Contributing Writer So, you've been getting tra shed and dry humping your best friends at t heir part ies? The pictures are turning out okay and you're gett ing more and more requests w ith each coming weekend ? You actually have a few singles in your clothes the next mo rning and you do n't know how they got there ? Follow our quick and easy guide to turn those laughs into passionate gasps and those Georg ies into Benjies.
Assume an identity - Assume multiple identities l You're fu lf illing fantasies and as such, should be prepared to be that bad cop, construction worker, bookworm or just the stud in the sl ick suit. Pick a name that could insti ll a little fear but a hot thrill at the same time; Office r Trask, Professor Rockwell, or Rico Jalisco.
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Don't sleep in the lion's den - Thelastthing you want to do is get wasted after your time is up and end up sleeping with the bachelorette. Waking up to an angry fiance is never a nnnrl t hinn
